I was cutting off a dead air root from my vanilla orchid yesterday and made a kinda sorta cut on the stem. I feel like a plant abuser too. 😭🥺
Editing to add that we should perhaps form a support group to cry together.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/plantabuse using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/plantabuse/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time!
\#1: [No that’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works.](https://v.redd.it/jg7eovewn4m41) | [219 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/plantabuse/comments/fh6kn8/no_thats_not_how_this_works_thats_not_how_any_of/)
\#2: [Whenever i think im a bad plant mom i think about this post](https://i.redd.it/4htaezhx20f41.jpg) | [30 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/plantabuse/comments/ez0bbv/whenever_i_think_im_a_bad_plant_mom_i_think_about/)
\#3: [Nature conquers plastic!! 🌵🌺](https://i.redd.it/ua8y2mbjwa451.jpg) | [31 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/plantabuse/comments/h11ne2/nature_conquers_plastic/)
----
^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
I said it half jokingly but it might work. What type of philodendron? How is the soil mix? Is it drying out really fast or does it get reaaally soggy when you water for a long time? Anyhow its probably safer to water/perlite/moss propagate but you could experiment if you want 😅
Bitch please. You don’t have dirt under your nails? What kind of plant enthusiast are you? Amateur. I bathe in dirt. I eat neem for breakfast lunch and dinner. I tattooed the inside of my fingernails to always make it look like they’re dirty. IM PASSIONATE
Oof, yes. It makes me self conscious. I can scrub, scrub, scrub, when I shower after work but it almost never completely goes away. Not even my gloves can save me.
Only thing that helps for me is to clip my nails really short. But I honestly don’t care. I spent my morning today cleaning out rabbit poop and shoveling manure. Can’t be bothered with a bit of dirt under my nails. I’ve experienced more disgusting things.
I definitely hope you didn’t actually take the time to check my IP address bc you could give me any combination of numbers and I’d still believe it if you said it was my IP. As if I know my own IP. Or where to find it.
You'll only go to jail if they find you.
Step 1: Wash with neem
Step 2: Go to med school and learn how to stuture. Or take the shortcut and go to sewing class.
Step 3: Clean materials with neem
Step 4: Stuture.
Step 5: Clean with neem.
Step 6: Soak your phone in neem for 5282682 days while making sure to clean all plants with neem daily.
Step 7: Water all plants with neem, followed by bleach to blind them and remove all memory of this situation.
Step 8: Put leaf in a humidity chamber to help heal. Spray chamber sides with neem daily, and make sure ONLY that leaf is in the chamber or you'll kill the whole thing.
Step 9: Take plant to therapy.
Step 10: Put plant in complete darkness for 3 weeks to speed up the healing process.
Step 11: Throw plant out, despite all efforts it has not changed and will kill all other forms of life if it isn't executed immediately.
You'll get life in jail. Then you'll have many many years of prostitution in hell, or Alabama . Your choice. Choose wisely , it's very red and very hot her in Alabama. Or is this hell 🤔🤔🤔 I forget
###😍🙏🏿 that's the ultra-rare vagination episiotomy. it means you're about to have plant babies. 😍🙏🏿🙏🏿
##I recommend submerging your plant-mama in a bathtub filled with neem for ***no less than 48 hours***. 🙌🏻
Straight to jail
Damnit. Can I glue it?
Only of you use pine pitch mixed with corn starch as the glue
I was going to suggest super glue mixed with neem oil
No, but if you put neem oil on the pitch mix it will help it heal faster
I’m phoning the police on you because your first thought wasn’t neem. It’s ALWAYS neem.
Who’s gonna know? ;)
only if you use instant noodles
Rip the leaf hole? Jail. Glue the leaf hole back together? Believe it or not, jail.
Right away jail
And no stopping to collect $200.
Believe it or not, jail.
You’re supposed to rip them so the turtles don’t get their heads stuck
You just made me cackle and wake up all the kiddos. Four legged and two. Damn you and here’s your upvote and award.
This 😂 this is the one
The comment made me laugh then noticing your username was the cherry on top
Jail for mother, JAIL FOR MOTHER FOR 1000 YEARS
You gotta pay the troll toll to get into this plant’s hole.
Unexpected and I am HERE FOR IT.
Idk man. Last night I accidentally ripped a vine off my philodendron and I feel like I’ve committed a crime
I was cutting off a dead air root from my vanilla orchid yesterday and made a kinda sorta cut on the stem. I feel like a plant abuser too. 😭🥺 Editing to add that we should perhaps form a support group to cry together.
Yes! A gc where we host plant confession
r/plantabuse
Here's a sneak peek of /r/plantabuse using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/plantabuse/top/?sort=top&t=all) of all time! \#1: [No that’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works.](https://v.redd.it/jg7eovewn4m41) | [219 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/plantabuse/comments/fh6kn8/no_thats_not_how_this_works_thats_not_how_any_of/) \#2: [Whenever i think im a bad plant mom i think about this post](https://i.redd.it/4htaezhx20f41.jpg) | [30 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/plantabuse/comments/ez0bbv/whenever_i_think_im_a_bad_plant_mom_i_think_about/) \#3: [Nature conquers plastic!! 🌵🌺](https://i.redd.it/ua8y2mbjwa451.jpg) | [31 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/plantabuse/comments/h11ne2/nature_conquers_plastic/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
I forgot about that sub! Thanks! 🌿
Just stick it back in soil it wil be fiiiinneeeee
Will it? I’m trying to propagate it in water, but I didn’t know that putting it directly in soil could work
I said it half jokingly but it might work. What type of philodendron? How is the soil mix? Is it drying out really fast or does it get reaaally soggy when you water for a long time? Anyhow its probably safer to water/perlite/moss propagate but you could experiment if you want 😅
25 to life with possibility of parole after 10 years
You might go to jail for all the dirt under those nails. Hot dang
Bitch please. You don’t have dirt under your nails? What kind of plant enthusiast are you? Amateur. I bathe in dirt. I eat neem for breakfast lunch and dinner. I tattooed the inside of my fingernails to always make it look like they’re dirty. IM PASSIONATE
NGL, I came here to mention your nails too but I subside my teasing due to your passionate reply. Keep dirty and carry on.
I love you
>tattooed the inside of my fingernails I'm fucking DYING. Cheers, fellow plant fiend!!
I always get dirt under my nails because I raw dog the repot. You just can't tease the roots out with gloves on 😭
If you don’t have dirt under your nails you can’t be really be at one with Mother Earth
This.
Im raw dogging it all. Repotting plants, gardening, ripping out weeds, all of it. I feel so FUCKING ALIVE 🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱
Not me but I work in a garden centre, the dirt is now a part of me, nail brush be damned.
Oof, yes. It makes me self conscious. I can scrub, scrub, scrub, when I shower after work but it almost never completely goes away. Not even my gloves can save me.
Only thing that helps for me is to clip my nails really short. But I honestly don’t care. I spent my morning today cleaning out rabbit poop and shoveling manure. Can’t be bothered with a bit of dirt under my nails. I’ve experienced more disgusting things.
You know she was raw dogging that moisture retentive peat of death with her bare hands
192.435.1.27 watch your back
I definitely hope you didn’t actually take the time to check my IP address bc you could give me any combination of numbers and I’d still believe it if you said it was my IP. As if I know my own IP. Or where to find it.
Lol just random numbers! Just a joke. I wouldn't even know what to do with an ip
Thank god. I wouldn’t want you wasting your precious time on that. You need to spend that time kissing puppies.
It changes multiple times a day anyway, dont worry
That’s your real IP address
Thank you.
Jk
we await The Council's final decision
Simple fix with WNEEM 40
Maybe gorilla glue
NEEM!!
Looking into how to do a citizens arrest right now!
what were you doing to it to cause a tear like that 🤨
😉😏
You'll only go to jail if they find you. Step 1: Wash with neem Step 2: Go to med school and learn how to stuture. Or take the shortcut and go to sewing class. Step 3: Clean materials with neem Step 4: Stuture. Step 5: Clean with neem. Step 6: Soak your phone in neem for 5282682 days while making sure to clean all plants with neem daily. Step 7: Water all plants with neem, followed by bleach to blind them and remove all memory of this situation. Step 8: Put leaf in a humidity chamber to help heal. Spray chamber sides with neem daily, and make sure ONLY that leaf is in the chamber or you'll kill the whole thing. Step 9: Take plant to therapy. Step 10: Put plant in complete darkness for 3 weeks to speed up the healing process. Step 11: Throw plant out, despite all efforts it has not changed and will kill all other forms of life if it isn't executed immediately.
I have a sewing machine, can I use that?
Maybe... Have you put anything other than neem on it to clean it in the time you've had it?
This is it.
This is actually natural it’s called penetration
You'll get life in jail. Then you'll have many many years of prostitution in hell, or Alabama . Your choice. Choose wisely , it's very red and very hot her in Alabama. Or is this hell 🤔🤔🤔 I forget
That would be sexual assault at its finest.
You monster 😮
FBI is raiding your house in 5...4...3...2...
I’ll put the kettle on
Straight to hell, where u belong
Nice and toasty 🔥🌝
With those nails, it looks like you’re already in jail.
YOU DONT KNOW MY LIFE
Neem oil should fix
I'm calling the PPS (plant protective services). see you in court
How do I go about getting my own leaf hole ripped?
Come on over. My IP address is in another comment. It’s probably easy enough to find my address now.
As bad as putting a bunch of peas around an ICE HOLE
Eat it?
#Eat it. Just eat it.
#EAT ITTTTT
Where is don’t eat the plant bot?
... Must you rely on a bot when humans have the answers?
I just miss him is all.
I think the bot learned no one will listen to it here 🤣
*No one wants to eat it, eat it!!!*
yep
This is worse than overcooked chicken!! STRAIGHT TO JAIL.
###😍🙏🏿 that's the ultra-rare vagination episiotomy. it means you're about to have plant babies. 😍🙏🏿🙏🏿 ##I recommend submerging your plant-mama in a bathtub filled with neem for ***no less than 48 hours***. 🙌🏻
No. Now you can sell it for $2000 as an extra-fenestrated special variegated monstera 🔥