T O P

me trying to think of even one relevant talent i have to get hired on at h3

me trying to think of even one relevant talent i have to get hired on at h3

0Lark0

I guess someone could be hired to take a rolled up newspaper and hit Ethan over the head throughout the day every time he attempts to stray from eating healthier. Eventually it'd lead to him getting knocked unconscious, but hey, getting enough sleep is also important when it comes to losing weight.


weednumberhaha

There are plenty of fans who'd pay for the privilege


delta1810

I guess someone could be hired to take a rolled up newspaper and ~~hit Ethan over the head~~ kill all the flies in the office throughout the day


johnmichaelhowe

You don't need talent! Just quit your $100k job and approach Ethan backstage at an event and tell him that you have no skills. Works all the time.


CRT_Static_Dreams

If I could give you an award for this comment I would...LMAO😂


_memelord666

what's the reference here?


Arietty

Some jabroni did that a few weeks back, but with Logan Paul


appleparkfive

Did it work?? I'm gonna guess not


lillyhatelife

No it did not work lmao


chaotic214

Jesus christ I'm dying lmao


cpt_julaya

I can bark if they think about adopting another dog 🥲


zoooooms

i can shit on the floor if they are thinking of adopting 2 more dogs


BanyanSea333

I’ll eat your shit. ….no wait


disbitch84

im literally cackling, thank you for the free serotonin


disbitch84

LMAO


AnonHelp2

I wanna be one of those courtroom painters except it’s me painting live shows or whatever lmao


sargentVatred

Probably give the team a run for their money on high quality thumbnails for their videos


choklik

Same bestie, same


joshualarry

I can be there for moral/fika support. I am only 5'8" so no height intimidation, I can operate a stove, oven, and microwave nearly perfectly, I am also not Jewish so I would be a diverse pick as well. Will work for room/board/snacks


_digitalis_purpurea_

Forget room and snacks, I’ll take clout as a form of payment


disbitch84

im a nanny irl, in a fantasy world i could babysit etha- i mean theodore.. even then they’d need someone more qualified than me 💀


SafeNo2647

💀💀💀💀💀


[deleted]

[удалено]


suhdudee

Maybe the lawyer part since ethans always getting sued 💀


lococaballeronews

I started watching an analysis about white claw gabe when I thought about this the other day. Yeee


appleparkfive

I'm kind of worried about how some people here think they're gonna make it big by impressing the crew or something. I know most of us are joking about it, but it seems like some people really think it's gonna happen. There's been some weird calls on the live shows. If you want to be part of the crew, learn some skills that have to do with podcasts and media, then don't be weird. That's the best advice!


manray23

I'll be the assistant, Ethan I'm a 26 year old brown boy in the Bronx with a Bachelor's. Let me pick up the dog shit, old fruit and kill flies. Please!


uh_lyss_uh

Ugh literally me hating every day at my job


lovelyb26

Same!! How can a nurse transition into a role to be hired for h3 😊


[deleted]

You could be Ethans caretaker / nurse 💀


coldnovember86

Thats Hila’s job


Mooniere

They could stand by during off the rails


[deleted]

She got enough to take care of rn plus she's pregnant


SafeNo2647

i mean when the gatsby’s around i feel a nurse would be VERY handy 😂


jleecollinsii

Probably the one thing they do need onsite lol.


pshc7994

existing? breathing? endless scrolling?


Aggressive-Toe9858

Im so down to take h3’s cleaning service’s job… if they got flies all over the place bc of all the dead plants, that means they ain’t doing their job. Ethan, hire me!!! I got 3-4 years of experience!!!!


TFA_Daryl

I’m seeing all the “Out of Context” h3 Twitter accounts, just feel sad for all of them. 🤣


JorgeLikeHorse

I can listen to all the mom basements episodes, god knows ab has better shit to do


Pedrica1

This is the first time for me...


edleywill1

Please no one from this sub should be hired


weednumberhaha

I shouldn't be saying this but Ethan loves scrappy young guns who lay it all on the line


GotUrHat

Can u simp or make epik memes


cowcowfly

No this is actually me


BlueAlien13

I hear flies have a pretty good looking future at the company. You think if I show up in one of [these](https://www.amazon.com/Forum-Novelties-Creepy-Costume-Standard/dp/B003V0ACU4/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=fly+costume&qid=1631060111&sr=8-1) they'll give me a spot?


sensuallyscarlett

I would like to apply to be a professional fly swatter.


Kvascha

My ass is thicker then ethans, does that count?


sharon1919

I would clean up the dog shit and the fruit and take out the trash everyday and be Ian’s personal assistant but no one has gotten in contact with me 😭


ZeroweaponX

Hire me so I can come on the show and test out different strains of weed and review them


donotgogenlty

I feel like I have some credibility since they used my exact idea on the show 😉 I'm curious what the hours are actually like


thisisSOPH

Alas, I’m too short to work there. But I’d make an awesome assistant, and I can fill the Hispanic quota lol


heysammer

Hila I’m a nanny pls 🥲


One__For__All

I could be their personal cook lmao


Jessisaurous

I'd be a bomb ass accountant 🥺🥺


nothinelsebutsuffer

I would be down to become the resident dog trainer. We cant have these dogs running rampant and eating baby stools.


criss990

I’m a law student and I’d love to help them with some of their legal analyses lmao


ChungoELLupo

Ayee made it on the podcast.... again


aivlysplath

I wanna be Ethan’s assistant but I don’t live in LA so ._.


Affectionate-Fig-616

I’ll teach Theodore , alfredo, and shredder Spanish 💀


Randygilesforpres

I have an infectious laugh. I could be their laugh track.


sorrowspice

im an english lesbian so if you want diversity lemme know xoxox ALSO i can do some drawings or smth idk


selscar

They can hire me as their officio fly.


Wasted_Penguinz

Basically me but with literally everything in life


PickledBananas

I’m an incredible private investigator in my spare time, I’d love to be a fact checker or someone who vets people they have/talk about on the show 😩


Serious-Fall9088

I can manage to do anything. I am a fast learner


mchychym

I am 5 feet, I could get hired based on the height diversity quota.


martagore

Ethan mentioned he was thinking about getting a PA.... I’m literally a PA for youtubers rn. Someone help me shoot my shot


Slamthony-

One day, there will be more h3 employees than people in the audience


wigglyjiggly77

Loooool same, like I’ll come be the office cleaner!!!! I’ll pick up dog shit and swat flies until my arms fall off!!!!!


DustlessPage

I mean they hired Zach. Boom roasted.


poison_ive3

Ummm, I'm Jewish, a girl, with a very dark sense of humor and deeply ingrained Jewish Guilt^(TM). I can keep them on track by reminding them "What would Bubbe say?". I spend my spare time developing my skills to fulfill my genetic imperative as a Yenta, so I could help them find great success on their next iteration of the BacH3lor! I'm an engineer in the energy industry so I can correct all their incorrect hot takes, and bring to light the total shit show that is power generation and how close we are to total collapse of the grid! I'm currently working on the strategy/business development end of our software product line and studying behavioral economics, so I can craft statements and marketing pitches like Don Draper and not a corporate shmuckeroo! I also can give them ideas for a new special, the **H3 PoopCast**, where they just talk about poop and farts and all their funny/shitty stories! Dan, if you're reading, hiiiiii! I do business development and strategy for a company worth $2b (Bubbe is /very/ proud) so I'm not a total hack!