T O P
DiscoDonkey9000

That entire movie was basically the world's most expensive shitty star wars fanfiction from start to finish.


Alexjw327

Nah, it was the land speed record for backpedaling


DiscoDonkey9000

Basically. They tried so hard to retcon every single decision made by last Jedi in literally the dumbest ways possible. It basically removed any character growth from that movie which was like the ONLY few good parts about it.


KethupDrinker89

and don't forget that rey doesn't even hold her fucking lightsaber right. and of course, "somehow, palpatine returned" with no explanation whatsoever for his resurrection.


therealEverynot

What do you mean, it was clearly explained during the Fortnite event? [Yes, I am not fucking kidding.](https://youtu.be/Z8M72aZsI2E?t=720)


SiruX21

what


therealEverynot

I edited my comment to contain the event, but yes, Palpaltine's return was explained during a Fortnite event.


SiruX21

what a world we live in


ObiShaneKenobi

What’s the problem? Do yOu NoT pLaY FoRtNiTe?” Such a stupid move. If someone was going to do something like that who not a Battlefield 2 tie-in? Well in retrospect it fits the direction of the movie, I was half expecting them to marionette Carrie Fisher’s cgi corpse to “floss” by the end of it.


oheyitsmoe

>What’s the problem? Do yOu NoT pLaY FoRtNiTe?” I read this in the voice of the Diablo Immortal presenter


SipthatTing

Don't worry bb its just a fever dream go back to red.


Nergidiot

It was not explained during a fortnite event , they played the message that palps sent across the galaxy, but did not explain how he came back.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DannyBright

So that does that mean Fortnite is canon to Star Wars now? Since a event that’s referenced in the movie happened in that game? EDIT: That was a joke


Toxic_Butthole

I watched it and I think I still need it "explained"...


Notbbupdate

\>tfw a Fortnite crossover develops a main plot point better than the multi-million dollar blockbuster


sebastianwillows

>better *I mean...*


Coolstriker64

Yes, Because explaining it *at all* is better than the movie by default.


PrateTrain

Honestly opening the movie with everyone reacting to the monologue from various parts of the galaxy would have been a really cool way to get back into things.


ArethereWaffles

Ending the previous movie with it would've been even better. However that would've actually required planning the trilogy.


referralcrosskill

Thats the part that's always blown my mind. They new up front that they were going to make 3 movies, roughly releasing one every 2 years. They can do ANYTHING and each would be massive and make insane amounts of money and they didn't bother to put together a cohesive story that would be a great arc with each individual movie being decent as a stand alone experience for anyone that just drops in and sees one of them.


[deleted]

They had a plan, the problem was the mouse stuck his head in during production, then when each movie got released they got way to concerned with how every group reacted to it and tried to “fix” the story for the next film. And eventually you just wound up with too many cooks. They should have just let JJ rip off the original trilogy like he planned on from the start. And they should have ignored fans reactions because the fans always were going to hate it. I get they were hesitant to go full auteur mode like Lucas on the prequels. But they should have put a bit more trust in the talent they hired to write and make the movies instead of the designed by committee/focus group product we wound up with. People still would have hated it, but at least it would have made a bit more sense.


KethupDrinker89

wait, what's the timestamp that the explanation happened at?


xDeityx

There still isn't any real explanation.


Cacamaster817

RIGHT i thought i was the only one thinking.....this explains *nothing*


aykyle

I thought I was losing my mind. What are people thinking to call that an explanation? He just shows up and says "At last work of generations is complete. The great error is corrected. The day of victory is at hand. The day of revenge. The day of the sith". Is the explanation supposed to be "it took generations to miraculously bring him back"?


therealEverynot

Like 12 minutes in, even then it's just Palpaltine talking about the Sith returning


Ikea_desklamp

>when you need to keep producing star wars films once a year into infinity to please your technocratic disney overlords, but you can't think of how to write an original story that doesn't just re-hash the characters from the old movies


XeroAnarian

>"somehow, palpatine returned" with no explanation whatsoever for his resurrection. Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?


microwavable_rat

I had completely checked out of the new trilogy after TLJ but I had seen every prequel movie and sequel movie on opening night so I decided to go see RoS the same way for tradition, except I went in there expecting a shitshow and from that perspective I had a great time. It's blatant how much JJ and Rian hated each other's movies and the back and forth pissing contest was great in a trainwreck sort of way. As Mauler put it: "It's like watching two kids fight over who's toys get to be in the sandbox, but the sandbox cost $4 billion to buy."


cc7rip

It's honestly fucking mental how three films of the SAME TRILOGY do nothing but battle against each others ideas because Abrams and Johnson tried to "fix" or one-up the other. This was meant to be a trilogy of films with a cohesive story, instead it feels like two children who couldn't agree on anything and decided to just throw out everything the other had done. God damn how the fuck did Disney seriously buy star wars for 6 billion dollars and have absolutely no plan or fucking anything. Jesus.


ZeiglerJaguar

It was never going to work as a partnership. Abrams as a director is "spectacle," and Johnson is "thought-provoking and artistic." And both of them took their respective movies too far in that personal direction. Abrams just remade "A New Hope," and Johnson just decided to completely upend the apple cart without much respect for the universe. Abrams movie was fun, and Johnson's was interesting, but there was no unity, and trying to reconcile it all at the end was just a big gross mess that was far worse than either on their own.


ricardoruben

The only thing that abrams knows to do is create unanswered questions to generate expectative. It would be great, but he doesn't know the answer to any of those questions so everything always resolve in the worst way. the same thing happened with Lost. Why is there is a polar bear? what is that smoke monster? Why are they on the island? Does that kid have super powers? It's like [michael from the office when he says that sometimes starts a sentence without knowing how it ends](http://www.theofficequotes.com/screenshots/62b8f24f14e182747bd851750bc02bf6.jpg), but in a movie producer.


sidepart

It was like that from the beginning of TLJ *and* RoS. Rian: Oh you think Hux should be in charge of shit instead of Kylo? LOL Poe gonna prank call his ass and he's gonna lose several capital ships in the process. Wut now? JJ: God dammit Rian. Fine, I'll just fuckin' smoke his ass immediately in RoS.


paarthurnax94

That's because Last Jedi retconned tons of things from the 7 movies that came before it. There was a plot set up in 7 that would continue to 8 and then to 9 but Rian Johnson didn't like any of it so he made all those things impossible to do in 9. Just one example, Snoke being killed. He was the only person set up to be the big bad but now he's dead. The only thing they could do was bring back the Emperor, or something even dumber. The Sequels sucked, but none sucked more than the Last Jedi. Rise of Skywalker was also really bad but at least that's only because it had to be because Last Jedi was so bad. Force Awakens was an ok movie, until watching Last Jedi. Force Awakens set up Knights of Ren, Luke Skywalker, Finn, Poe, Rey, Snoke, Rey's parents, Captain Phasma, Luke's lightsaber, etc. So many interesting questions and characters that were either ignored, given terrible answers, or retconned by the Last Jedi making any rewatches seem pointless.


Elcactus

ROS doesn't deserve that pity. It did backpedal hard, but still had its own idiotic, uncalled for moments by the bucketfull. It didn't take a hatchet to the settings worldbuilding like TLJ did, but it was terrible in its own way.


Walden_Walkabout

"Somehow Palpatine returned." is the kind of writing I would expect from a kid in elementary school.


DiscoDonkey9000

They even lazily shilled to the kylo and Rey shippers by having them kiss at the end despite the fact they tried killing each other less than a few hours earlier


thebiggestleaf

> Rey kisses the guy who force mind-raped her in TFA Truly a win for feminism, top kek


KelticQT

I felt embarrassed of watching this, when I saw it. First time it happened to me in theater.


Sea2Chi

So much of the movie felt like it was written by a focus group. "Ok... so you kids are saying you want a pitched battle between the two of them, but you also want a romance plotline." "You want a new terrifying villain, but you also want something familiar and tied to the original trilogy." "You want something edgy and dark, but you also want to make sure to focus on inclusiveness and social justice." To quote the Simpsons: Focus Group Guy : So you want a realistic down-to-earth show that's completely off the wall and swarming with magic robots? [the kids all chat at once about it being a great idea] Milhouse Van Houten : And, also, you should win things by watching. Focus Group Guy : [sighs] Roger Myers Jr. : [turns off the mirror disguise in the window] You kids don't know what you want. That's why you're still kids, 'cause you're stupid. Just tell me what's wrong with the freakin' show! [turns the mirror back on]


Responsenotfound

That is pretty much what film and culture is nowadays. They want to pander to all demographics and end up getting this lukewarm soup that people go, "Eh it's ok."


[deleted]

"The Jedi kind of forgot about Palpatine." - D&D


WINTER_1S_COMING

He was just a minor footnote in their history afterall. Like who here even remembers Hitler?


iosiro

>palpatine somehow returns and announces his return on a fortnite event


Scipio11

IIRC the actual explanation was exclusive to Fortnite. I'm not kidding.


Neuchacho

Welcome to the metaverse, bitches.


baz4k6z

It's obvious they tried to create a "new generation" of star wars to milk that sweet sweet star wars fandom money. Unfortunately they are terrible at making a decent scenario so they tried to copy the plot of the old ones but failed miserably.


shabadabadabada

It still doesn't feel real lmao


DiscoDonkey9000

That's because it isn't. The sequels aren't real. They were just hallucinations manifested among the star wars community as a way to diverge hatred away from the prequels


shabadabadabada

At least the prequels were entertaining, even if imperfect. TFA is the only one of the ST I even remotely enjoyed and it was mostly because I was Star Wars starved when it came out


AngryKiwiNoises

That and also our hopes had yet to be crushed by the followups. I remember being excited where they were gonna take the trilogy back when TFA released. I was a little worried about the fact it was basically just A New Hope but cranked up ten times in every ridiculous aspect, but I still held out that 8 and 9 would be better Silly me


stormhunter2

TFA was a movie with a good premise and setting the stage for the trilogy. Did it have a bunch of stupid ideas too? Yes. They effectively took all of that and chucked into the marianas trench.


slightlyforthwith

I would never describe myself as a Star Wars super fan. I was as much a fan as anyone. But holy shit TLJ lives in my head rent free. It was appalling in so many ways I even tried writing everything down about it that was terrible, so I could organize my thoughts. It’s so much worse than any other Star Wars before it that it’s mind boggling. Haven’t watched the one after it. When I watched it in theaters, I really felt like I was in some fever dream.


senorpoop

I don't know if you've been watching Book of Boba Fett but that's exactly how that feels to me. The story is good but the dialogue and scene to scene writing makes it feel like that smelly guy from the comic book store wrote a miniseries and Disney just ran with it.


1st5th

Problem is, smelly guy from comic book store would write better Star Wars. As someone who has loved it all my life and read all the extended universe material, played all the games.. I wanted to see super powerful Grand Master Luke Skywalker pulling star destroyers from orbit and smashing them into planets. I wanted to see him become one with the living force and be brighter than the sun in order to destroy an existential threat. I got depressed Luke drinking blue tiddy milk.


microwavable_rat

Disney in 2012: We're going to nuke 30 years of established EU content so we can start over fresh! Disney in 2018: WrItInG NeW StoRiEs FrOm ScRaTcH iS HaRd, GuYs. No shit, that was one of the many stupid things Kathleen Kennedy said about why there was backlash to the new movies and projects...along with essentially "we don't need old Star Wars fans, we'll create new ones." God, going back and watching interviews about TFA breaks my heart. Gwendoline Christie was so excited to be playing Captain Phasma as a strong female character (and she had the potential to be a great one) and seeing how they just completely dropped the ball on that and so much more... At least they got Zhan to recanonize Thrawn.


slightlyforthwith

Boba Fett isn’t a character. He’s a guy in a costume who was killed immediately in the original trilogy.


Notsdlog

"You just don't understand, if you read 47 comics and the 6 backstory novels you'll know why people love his character" - every star wars fan


ihavecommitedamurder

I pirated the movie and wanted a refund


pirivalfang

I would rather get my asshole blown out by Requice again rather than watch that shit.


butlerlee

>again


Maserser

and again


1st5th

Requiesce in pace, culus.


Ok_Nefariousness_830

Go on r/StarWars and people will write paragraphs the length of the fucking Bible explaining to you why you have to love the movie 💀


Aitch-Kay

I still haven't watched it, just like the last episode of GoT. Just not worth my time.


lilnomad

The last two movies are **really** bad. TFA was fun but also wasn’t doing anything unique


Aitch-Kay

Yeah, TFA was at least watchable, and I honestly don't think it was much worse than Phantom Menace.


throwaway14562563

Man, looking back what happened with the Sequel Trilogy was nothing short of tragic. The Force Awakens created these great opportunities and potential for characters like General Hux, Snoke, and Finn, only to be dashed away by poor writing and vastly different Directors writing follow-ups (because for some reason Lucasfilms thought having Rian “EXPECTATIONS SUBVERTED” Johnson make a continuation of an Abrams film was a good idea). Oh well, at least Adam Driver/Kylo Ren was consistently good.


Gabistan

The force awakens was actually the worst star wars movie. It's the only one that actively hurt the future canon implications by destroying the new republic, having the jedi be absent, and reverting Han solo's development to deadbeat once again. It was doomed from the start.


AquillaMajor

Thank you... People put most blame on Rian Johnson because they don't want to except that nu Star wars was doomed as soon as they employed JJ "member" Abrams. Dudes a fucking hack. From just rehashing New hope with some shameless ways to artificially raise the stakes, to what you already mentioned. He didn't even have a plan for rest of the trilogy ffs. Rian Johnson just buried it for good.


PaperyWhistle

JJ can direct great action sequences and has a sense for them. He's fucking awful at writing movies.


Spengy

JJ doesn't have one creative bone in his body. Mystery boxes are horrible if you don't plan ahead


PaperyWhistle

If he's given a script. He's great. If he's told to write one, then he just borrows or steals from other movies and tries to make it his own. He's very good at remaking other peoples movies.


Gabistan

I honestly think Johnson had some interesting ideas to explore but a saga film was not the right place. Luke's arc is good on paper but considering his character in the ot, it was just plain inconsistent. I normally would brush it off but this is LUKE SKYWALKER we're talking about.


AquillaMajor

Luke is the embodiment of hope. So him being a depressed mess for most of the movie was a cardinal mistake imo.


ClarkeYoung

Luke struggled with his emotions and brashness in the original trilogy, him continuing to do so in the sequels doesn't seem like too huge a stretch to me. You have to explain why he just straight up disappeared while the galaxy was falling into chaos again somehow, and I prefer a character arc over him out looking for a mcGuffin, which is more or less the two paths TFA for him. He was beaten down, but still rose above it in a very Jedi way at the end.


Abuses-Commas

Luke straight up disappearing when the galaxy goes to shit is just him following his mentors' example


croptochuck

Obi-Wan Kenobi hid on tatooine and yoda hid on dagobab. I’m just making this post because I just realized this when I read your comment.


blingkeeper

Obi Wan was actually on Tatooine because of Luke. He went there to hide Anakin's son.


Divinum_Fulmen

Luke struggling with the same things he dealt with as a kid makes him look terrible. Especially the part about attempting to murder someone in their sleep. Talk about backwards character growth.


Fred_Foreskin

Honestly, I wish they would have let Rian Johnson write and direct the entire sequel trilogy. I genuinely think The Last Jedi is one of the best Star Wars movies. JJ came up with a shitty story in 7, but at least the movie itself was good, and RJ made it more interesting with 8, then JJ ruined it all by throwing a tantrum and using episode 9 to retcon 8.


Deusselkerr

My problem with TLJ is it was too irreverent to the Star Wars tone. Starting off with a yo mama joke and Mary Poppins Leia took me out of it from the start.


microwavable_rat

I love how he defended the stupidity of the bomber scene by saying that fans of the series would have no idea that Y-Wings existed


bsEEmsCE

the prank phone call was the moment I thought "oh God no"


Hmm_would_bang

If JJ would have had all three it would have just been a shallow, feel good trilogy that was hopefully fun and action packed, and ended with basically everything being back to where it started. There’d be a new new republic, Finn and Rey would be training up a bunch of new Jedi. It would just have been a shallow circle to appease people that wanted to see more Star Wars stuff and with no meaningful additions to the canon. If RJ had it all it would have taken things in a completely new direction, for better or worse. People would be as split on the whole trilogy as they are on TLJ, as opposed to the sequels now pretty much being disliked by almost everyone. Instead we got to see two directors basically fight with each other at everyone else’s expense.


PrateTrain

Rian Johnson at least had a handful of original ideas and new themes he wanted to explore. Trilogy might have been a lot better if the order had been reversed. Also if the suits up top had not been as involved with it.


AquillaMajor

Hmm.. that hacker guy exposing resistance for buying weapons from the same people that supply New order was interesting for example. And Rey and Kylo vs those guards was pretty raw, which was actually a good change compared to over the top fights of the prequels. But he was way to preachy and arrogant with his "Forget the past" message, and some of his now infamous subversions were insanely bad. Eg. Snoke being a nobody and dying without any backstory or influence. Then Finns girlfriend, whatever her name was, was just hard to watch with how annoying her character was. Star wars is probably the biggest ip in the world. You have to play it safe to some degree at least.


Abuses-Commas

To paraphrase someone else: "Too preachy with the 'let the past die'" Which was said by the villain, you know, the guy who's *wrong*?


PrateTrain

Ish? I think killing Snoke was smart IF there hadn't been a redemption arc for Kylo Ren. Redeeming him in the next movie washed away a strong sith moment.


AquillaMajor

For a moment, when Kylo convinced Ray that she is a nobody at the end of Last Jedi, and asked her to join him, I though that she'd try to kill him and take New order for herself, so the final movie would have Kylo as protagonist and Ray as antagonist. Now that would be some insane shit.


burf

Also, having progressively more ridiculous superweapons. I love how the only possible motivation he can come up with for the movie is "like the death star, but bigger" to the point that it's literally a planet shooting other planets from across a galaxy. And then the same stupid shit in Rise of Skywalker where it's just an improbably large fleet of star destroyers, each carrying an impractically large planet-destroying cannon on it. Fucking what?


shelter_anytime

star destroyers palpatine literally summons out of his ass


WeedstocksAlt

Yeah it’s so mind blowingly stupid that they went with that lol. Like … there was 25k star destroyers in the Empire. Nobody during the whole development of the movie said "hey, maybe instead of magically summoning ships we could integrate some of those in the story?" Nope, better waste 25 years building a fleet 1% the size of the imperial fleet Can’t believe we got this garbage instead of Thrawn Trilogy. Fml


WeedstocksAlt

It’s even dumber than this. You would think that what’s dumb is that the star destroyer fleet is too big, but really what’s fucking dumb is that it’s ridiculously small. There was something like 25 000 star destroyers in the empire. Like 20-30 years before that movie. In the sequel, they act like that 250 star destroyer fleet is the biggest thing ever. It’s laughably small. Like 1% of the imperial fleet. There should be dozens of rogue imperial commanders with fleet that size all accros the galaxy just chilling as there is clearly no strong central government to stop them. Clearly shown in the 9th movie where they have to magically summon half the galaxy to fight Palpatine’s fleet. Fucking Palpatine wasted **25 years** to build this shitty ass fleet? What a dumb fucking movie


microwavable_rat

To be fair this was one of the main problems with the EU - superweapons that became more powerful to the point of being laughable. The Eclipse was a good design because it was a Super Star Destroyer with a scaled down Death Star beam, but it was the only one of its kind and served a great part in the stories it was in. Now every Star Destroyer can blow up planets. For me, the weapon that cracked me up was the Sun Crusher - a fighter sized craft that could blow up *stars.*


Salty_Pancakes

And the entire thing was held together by one laughably convenient coincidence after another. God it was so bad.


literalilliteratekat

The Force works in mysterious ways.


StayInBedViking

> Adam Driver/Kylo Ren was consistently good Agreed. Adam Driver did a really good job and he deserves more credit. I thought Kylo Ren was a good character and he was a cool villain


Kwimchoas

I actually thought all of the actors did a really good job with what they were given, just the writing was shit


StayInBedViking

> all of [the] actors did a really good job with what they were given I agree. Daisy Ridley got way more hate than she deserved, and I'm not just saying that because I jerk off to her. I do jerk off to her, but I also think she's a good actress. The two are not mutually exclusive Spoilers for Rise of Skywalker, obviously, in case someone reads this thread and hasn't seen it yet lol My point was more that Kylo Ren was consistently well written and was a good character overall, and he may have been the only character that was consistently well written. I'm not sure if I like his decision to switch sides at the end of the movie but at he was good at least until then.


Kwimchoas

We don't know each other you can just say she's a good actress


spherical_cow314

True, jerking off to an actress may cloud your judgment of her acting skills but you definitely sidestepped that landmine


Dee_Dubya_IV

Dude I’m keeled over. What a comment.


Grenyn

At the risk of sounding really fucking dramatic, it's a once in a lifetime thing that should have been great for Star Wars fans, and instead any chance it had got completely destroyed by corporate greed and incompetence. We'll never see an IP of this size be "revived" again. I don't know enough about Star Wars to say if it is easy or hard to make stories in that universe. Considering most of it is just space magic, though, I am leaning towards it being pretty easy. Every time I think of what they did to Star Wars, I think about Marvel, and how they managed to do such a good job with their thing. Not that it was flawless from the start, or even throughout, but the MCU is something to behold. Well, I guess Star Wars as it is now is also something to behold, but for a different reason.


Stereophonic

It really was a once in a lifetime thing to have Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, and Carrie Fischer reprise their roles and pass the torch on to a new generation of actors and the directors and writers blew it. It's not like they didn't have literally thousands of pages of lore to choose their next villain/conflict from. Even if they wanted to jettison everything so that fans couldn't guess what might happen, the foundation was there and they completely ignored it.


Grenyn

I think trying to subvert expectations was never going to work. If there was one thing they could, and should, have done right, it was reward lifelong fans for their devotion. I don't imagine there's a better feeling if you've been a fan of Star Wars forever, and you get to theorycrafting about new movies and rewarded for your knowledge of the IP. A personal example of something similar (very slightly similar) that I have personal experience with is the Warcraft movie. The Warcraft movie was something the players had been asking for for a long time. The *players*, not audiences who knew nothing about it. No theorycrafting, since it was a retelling of an already written story, but lore nerds were still hyped. And then it came out, and very important details were changed. Someone new to Warcraft was never going to care if something happened a particular way, yet they still changed those details to somehow be more digestible. But by doing so, they betrayed the fans, who were left sitting there thinking "wait, this isn't right".


Ruffles808

Nah, it was doomed when JJ Abrams was brought on and literally did a HD© Remaster™️ of A New Hope with The Force Awakens. Johnson at least tried to do something different for half of his movie, but then Abrams came in and finally fucked the entire sequel trilogy with shitty retcons and story beats. EDIT: I forgot Abrams doing Finn dirty and literally made 90% of his lines “REY I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING” in Ep9 and then never saying anything. Fun Fact: Finn was supposed to tell Rey he might be Force sensitive and the idea of Finn being a Jedi was revealed in the *fucking Lego Holiday Special* instead of Ep9. Fuck JJ Abrams. EDIT 2: Also forgot about the whole “They fly now????” thing between a former Stormtrooper and a Resistance fighter *who both should have had seen a jet pack fighter at one point or another* and the stupid subplot with C3P0 suddenly knowing *Ancient Sith* because dagger. Fuck JJ Abrams.


shelter_anytime

good to know im not the only one with this opinion and there are others who feel the same - yea Rian wiffed hard but he wiffed spectacularly, JJ should be banished from society for soft rebooting A New Hope and then whatever happened there with the last movie.


WhyWouldTrumpDoThis

Don't forget Disney cucking out to China to make amends for having Finn hook up with a Chinese lady. Turns out China doesn't give a fuck about progressive interracial relationships.


DiscoDonkey9000

That "Chinese girl" wasnt even Chinese. I'm not sure about the validity of China being pissed about the Finn and Rose relationship but even if it's true, it dosen't make any real sense to basically remove her character from the third movie because of it.


WhyWouldTrumpDoThis

Finn was also practically removed.


xj3ewok

Rian Johnson didn't even read the script to force awakens I think he just got some plot points and went with it


Molomar

Rian Johnson 100% wasn't the issue. JJ left him a fuckin mess. He did his classic mystery box shtick and introduced a bunch of things with no explanation, like Snoke, the Knights of Ren, etc. Rian had to actually figure out his dumbass plot points for him. JJ did literally the exact same thing to Lindelof on Lost. "Alright, so they crash on an island, and theres a polar bear, a hatch, and a smoke monster!" "Sounds great JJ.. Uhh, why are those things there on the island?" "idk lol, u fuckin figure it out, im off to make mission impossible 3, good luuuuuuck"


assmasher4077

Rey tarded


Testicular_Adventure

Rey pissed


Accomplished-Crab932

Reyd shadow legends


PM-Me-Your-TitsPlz

"Rey..." "Rey who?" Stares off into the distance for so long she hallucinates two ghosts telling her to use "Solo" because Han was basically the only father figure Rey had and she sucked off his son so hard she stole his life. "Rey Skywalker" The old woman doesn't respond because she died of old age waiting for a response.


shelter_anytime

that shit is agonizing - at least its proof time is relative to the observer, cuz that whole sequence from the "what is your name girl?", "Rey", "no your last name" ............. felt like an eternity


Fern-ando

Rey Skywalker Solo Organa Palpatine Kenobi Fett Hutt Tano Stark Wayne Jones De Todos los Santos Messi y Maradona.


iamagodnow

See that a wom*m is in the lead role, automatically know there's a 95% chance the movie is gonna be shit


dantemp

you guys are serious, aren't you :(


one_pint_down

r/moviescirclejerk eating good tonight!


-OrangeLightning4

*"Say the line, Bart!"* *"I'm not a misogynist, I like Ripley and Sarah Connor."*


authenticfennec

Right below this thread lol https://reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/scgd1g/_/hu6leji/?context=1


do_a_180

reddit is largely misogynist 16-22 year old neckbeards


ogipogo

Reddit is whatever you want it to be for the argument you're trying to make.


Testicular_Adventure

You're right, it's r/greentext that is misogynistic 16-22 year old neckbeards


BestPseudonym

Actually it's a collection of echochambers and greentext happens to fit the demographic you're describing, go to /r/WitchesVsPatriarchy or something if you want a different echochamber


therager

>everyone here is a Neckbeard!!! REEEEEEE You're aware reddit is one of the largest *mainstream* social media platforms *in the world*, right? Sorry, that excuse doesn't really work anymore.


The_cynical_panther

womam


420bO0tyWizard

Wahmen no touch or make me peepee hard. Wahmen bad.


Alex_Sobol

Underworld and Resident Evil series were fine.


themightyscott

They were garbage.


DJCzerny

The only cool thing about the resident evil series was wesker throwing his sunglasses like a boomerang


starryknight

Only acceptable female lead is Ellen Ripley in Aliens


Worst_Lurker

What about Ellen Ripley in Alien?


starryknight

She was badass in that one too. I'm just partial to the sequel.


dantemp

The Bride in Kill Bill. The lead in The Long Kiss Goodnight Alita in Alita Battle Angel First Wonder Woman. Tomb Raider with Angelina Jolie There are plenty of great female led movies.


antonius22

Sarah fucking Connor


nanoelite

Mad Max is the title character but Charlize as Furiosa is definitely the lead in Fury Road.


QualiaEphemeral

What about Sarah Connor?


Duper18108

Yes, there have been some movies that've pushed for female leads while letting quality suffer, like GhostBusters, but 95% is just not true. For example: Arrival, Gravity, The Hunger Games Series, Black Widow, Kill Bill Vol. 1, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Star Wars: Rogue One, Wonder Woman, and Alien. Which are just from the ones I've seen. You'd be right to say that there's definitely more A-movies in the sci-fi and action department with male leads than female leads, but I think you'd be wrong to say that 95% of female-lead movies are just gonna be shit — especially if we start considering genres outside of sci-fi and action. Mean Girls was great. And there's even more in the animated department like Howl's Moving Castle. I think your generalization is overreaching.


TheUltimateTeigu

I fucking hate womem. They're my least favorite. Women are alright though.


cozy_lolo

Is this a real comment lol how is this getting upvoted


MungoTheWonderWeasel

I’m still not sure what the deal with that movie was, feels like it was written by an AI but a story written by an AI would actually have things happen. This is more like a rich kid had his dad buy him a Harvard screenwriting degree and he got thrown in front of a computer for his first job with the instructions “make new star war”.


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Spengy

yeah they somehow managed to rival the prequels' terribleness which is impressive.


CTHeinz

You know, for as awful as the prequels can be, at least they had fairly well written overarching plot and themes. They were consistent with each other, and almost never dropped any plot points. George Lucas might be a disaster in terms of writing dialogue and forcing in annoying characters. But the man is a genius in world building and story setting.


tvp61196

The prequels had an end point in mind (Anakin becoming Vader) and just had to figure out how to get there. The sequels started nowhere and ended nowhere


shelter_anytime

the prequels are fun campy terribleness - the sequels are the pathetic cringe type of terrible. You can't even enjoy them for being bad.


Billy_T_Wierd

I like Daisy Ridley’s feet. I would definitely make love to her but I did not like that film


Conway_

Bruh she looks like the Sprouse twins with a wig on


fatalityfun

damn never noticed that before fucking lmao


The_cynical_panther

yeah, and?


MyDedicatedAccount

You got good pics???


Billy_T_Wierd

https://www.wikifeet.com/Daisy_Ridley


player_zero_

Wiki...feet..?!


PEIFella

Every day we stray further from god’s light


Billy_T_Wierd

I don’t know, man. The Bible is what got me turned on to foot washing, so I think God is cool with it


Naktabar420

If I heard anyone saying that the new trilogy is good, I automatically assume they're retarded


Jaystax204

Agreed. Rogue one was the shit though.


Knightbear001

That Vader scene. *chefs kiss* Perfection


Eubeen_Hadd

Rogue One did a good job of telling a war story in a universe where there are real, actual, unstoppable supervillains that, if present, will absolutely change the course of events. The threat of Vader showing up is like the Kraken appearing. Somewhere between a force of nature and a God.


Responsenotfound

That is what I thought. Vader was like a hurricane in an airlock. Can't fight him, can't run, can't reason. Just die because you are cannon fodder.


VisibleCoat995

I read somewhere that Rogue One is the only Star Wars movie that really shows why everyone was scared shitless of Vader.


stormcloak-spy

Yeah as much as people suck Vaders dick in the OT, he doesn't actually DO much. Blocks a blaster once. Fights a bit. Done


hvaffenoget

The cast and characters was forgettable but the spectacle was neat.


ItsDaBurner

That's almost what I love most about it. Just some "rando rebels" getting the job done. It was nice to not have old characters beat even more to death.


Jaystax204

I'll respectfully disagree. But I think we can all agree it was a better film than any in the new trilogy.


hvaffenoget

No contest.


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[deleted]

Why do I need to see the Skywalkers at all? There’s an entire galaxy with thousands of worlds and we’re stuck on the same forty years?


antonius22

Give me Revan.


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sweetelyseblog

No thanks. You've seen what Disney is capable of.


MaticBlox

Rey should have just said that she was Palpatine and fucking killed the old bitch with lightning


Spengy

yeah honestly why not just continue as a Palpatine, scrub clean the name.


wackytactics

Would have been so much better. It would have at least made Rey likeable in that she has the bravery to own her family name and make sure that the name Palpatine would only be used for good from then on. Better yet have Rey die and Kylo live. The moral of the story would become "evil can always change" instead of "the good guys win in the end" which is so stupid and cliche


mLgNoSkOpA

The sequels feel like fan fiction written by someone who watched Star Wars once 20 years ago.


Duderino732

And is a woke liberal.


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slightlyforthwith

China doesn’t want to watch a black person. Sucking CCP cock is the wokest thing you can do.


Spastic_Slapstick

Star Wars is probably the only thing Disney was afraid of fucking up so I imagine they didn't think it was worth the risk. But then they fucked it up in a way much worse than that anyway.


muchnamemanywow

> "Rey... Rey Skywalker." *"Oh, we're using our made up names? I'm Spiderman then..."*


Apprehensive-Try-994

See, I was fine with The Force Awakens. It wasn't exactly what I wanted out of the first sequel, but they "played it safe". I was honestly really invested into where Finn's arc was gonna go (tho I do wish we had more time with him being in the First Order). Other issues too but I kinda had a lil hope for the next films. The Last Jedi absolutely destroyed me. When I think about I just... ugh I can't. So stupid. Fuck. I didn't even bother with The Rise of Skywalker. I couldn't do it. My heart wouldn't be able to take it. Watching video reviews I was absolutely dumbfounded. Again, so stupid. Also Rogue One was a great Star Wars movie, fuck you Sequel Trilogy.


Kombart

It´s amazing to me that a company can fuck an established franchise/fanbase up that hard. Like, I was so fcking excited to watch Episosde 7. I was in a "hardcore" cosplay group that made mandalorian armor out of metal and we had a gig to promote the films around a local cinema (In exchange we could watch the movie as much as we wanted, so I watched it like 4 times in the first week). Already lost my excitement after that...because it basically felt like a bad remake of the OT. So, episode 8 comes out and I watch it a week after release, more or less as a afterthought like "yeah, maybe Luke can save this." Well...no. Didn´t watch Episode 9. I was such a big Star Wars nerd, read probably over a hundred EU books, played every Star Wars game etc... I still vividly remember reading the EU books and grieving when Chewie died... After watching episode 8 and seeing the death of Luke, I was not sad because of the death, instead I was sad that I couldn´t care about this stuff anymore. Sounds childish, but it felt like I lost the excitement and wonder of my childhood/youth after I went home from the cinema that evening.


Apprehensive-Try-994

I feel the same way at this point. The only entertainment from Star Wars that has given me that childhood kind of excitement is the offshoot media that doesn't deal with the Skywalker story. But even then, I've been so disappointed with the main course, I can't get myself that hype for the dessert, yknow? Maybe it's partly my depression that comes into play, but for fucksakes where are the amazing games? The books? I know now that we have (hopefully) good games and books coming but I don't think it's gonna bring me back. Am I just losing the nostalgic feelings? Is it Star Wars itself? Is it the fanbase? Is it just me? Man thinking about it makes me depressed because Star Wars was a big part of my life in general and I dont want to lose it. Fuck, rant over.


Electric_Guitar

The Last Jedi was the only movie I’ve ever seen that made me want to walk out of the theater. I didn’t only because I paid good money to see it but I was so frustrated and dumbfounded when it ended. That was the movie that completely ruined Star Wars for me. I haven’t touched any of the other stuff and have no intentions of doing it. I’m over Star Wars.


_umop_aplsdn_

> that's when the movie ended thank goodness


Dreathbeast

Should've been "Just Rey"


JarOfJelly

I watched this whole ass movie and don’t remember a single fucking thing from it


tyrico

i'm literally sitting here like 'why is she a skywalker when she's palpatine's daughter' because after that reveal i turned off the last 1% of my brain that was paying attention


AquillaMajor

"Forget it Jake, it's Chinatown." Literally walked out of the theater when I heard this.


ImARetPaladinBaby

Didn’t even make any sense either. That movie was so shit, it felt like some satire remake of Star Wars


ethan0614

Still upset that the bad ass looking knights that Lylo had literally spent an entire movie doing nothing and then dying immediately in their first fight


bleachinjection

I honestly remember almost nothing about this flick other than how they had a chance to kill Chewbacca, which would have been totally appropriate and given the final installment of the Saga *some kind of emotional weight* and then they were like PSYCH IT WAS ANOTHER SHIP CHEWIE'S FINE LOL Also Space Burning Man


Blu_Zer0

I didn't watch the last two, do they ever give Rey a lightsaber staff like Darth Maul? I saw the trailer where cave Rey gets one but does the real Rey get it? I thought her having that stick at the beginning was like a precursor to her getting a lightsaber staff.


tossietuatoa

Nope. She did not. From what I remember she uses Anakin's blue saber throughout the trilogy or atleast parts of it throughout the whole trilogy. (Rey and Kylo broke the saber in half in EP8. I think Rey got the half with the kyber crystal and fixed it or something, idk/idc.) The yellow one you see in the picture above is first revealed less than a minute before the end credits for EP9 and I'm pretty sure it is still a single bladed saber.


Greentextbo

It’s been years, but I can confidently say that my opinion of the last Jedi has softened exponentially. I still hate it, don’t get me wrong. The characters act dumb for contrived reasons, the movie sort of meanders, the code switching between the republic and new order makes no sense, and the movie itself shits on everything previously established in Star Wars for shallow shock But despite how much I dislike last Jedi, seeing what happened with rise of sky walker made me respect the fact that the movie basically put the franchise in ultimatum, either make something new, or default to corporate blandness Rise of sky walker chose the latter “OMG ITS LE WHOLESOME EPEROR ‘MEMBER HIM???? BUY OUR TOYSSSS!!!”