90 years old, my ass! That man's been training line infantry since gunpowder entered the battlefield!


anon is fake, gay, and fantasized about getting dicked down by a 90 year old man


Pussy, too scared to trigger the bot?


I hate these new pus*ies who can't even triforce


Someone is Salty because a 90 year old man isn't scared of guns and can properly shoot one better than them


Your ass, you say?


To shreds you say?


Does that username actually work?


Yup! It works plenty! [Also a faq for more fun!](https://www.reddit.com/user/PM-Me-Your-TitsPlz/comments/gmwfpo/faq_observe_this_post_also_some_sort_of_ama/)


Hmmm... sounds like I need to make an alt account.


What a thorough AMA. I just wanna know how you think 120lb is an ideal weight. That seems pretty extreme no matter your height unless you plan on becoming a jockey.


I should probably rewrite that answer. It sounds so bad reading it now. I'm 5'6" and the healthy BMI is supposed to be 115 to 154 pounds (I just looked up those numbers. I knew 140 and 120 were in the healthy range when I wrote the original answer). I'm just using BMI as a general guideline and not some holy 100% accurate scale. I should just say I want to be somewhere between 120 and 145 or whatever for the end goal. I'm also not factoring in muscle gains. I was just fat at the start and I doubt I gained enough muscle mass between 200 and 164 pounds to think I'm at a healthy amount of body fat. If anything, I lost muscle regardless of any workout because of the starvation diet.


> since gunpowder entered the battlefield 10-14th century time traveler


Damn, did everyone clap after?


That gun ranges name? George Washington


Anon’s name? Been-dicked Arnold


Buffaloes? Go


Thundercats? Ho


Hotel? Trivago


Your cat? cum.


Shane? Dawson.


And my axe!


and my dick!


Not fake.


Yes and my 5 years daughter was there and she said "I weep for the liberty of my country when I see at this early day of its successful experiment that corruption has been imputed to many members of the House of Representatives, and the rights of the people have been bartered for promises of office."


"Perfect headshots every time" "Using smooth-bore" Yeah, no. That requires supernatural powers or extreme luck


Supernatural it is. Professor Xavier would like a word, and there’s a growing number of people standing outside of the range that would like to start a religion.


It nailed the neighbor's dog because smoothbore


Perfect headshots. Every single time.


Anon met the guy from the navy seal copypasta


Correction: guy from the SAS copypasta. Oi mate, wot t' fock did you just say 'bout me, you little bitch? I'll 'ave you know I graduated top of me class in the SAS, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the IRA, and I 'ave over 300 confirmed kills, like. I am trained in gorilla warfare, and I am t' top sniper in the entire bleedin' SAS. You are nothin' to me but just another target. I'll spark you t' fock out with precision t' likes of which 'ave never before been seen on this earth, mark me fockin' words, mate. You think you can get away with chatting all that shit to me over t' internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak, I am contacting me secret network of spies across Britain, and your IP address is being traced right now, so you better prepare for the storm, blud. T' storm that wipes out t' pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fockin' dead, man. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over 700 ways and that's just with me bare hands, like. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to t' entire arsenal of the British armed forces, and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable arse off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would 'ave held your fockin' tongue, ay? But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying t' price, you bloomin' idiot. I'll shit fury all over you, and you'll drown in it. You're fockin' dead, mate.


I'm really struggling to not die reading this as a brit. It's like if a British person wrote the navy seals copypasta in a New Yoik accent and every sentence was punctuated by Cali surfer dude lingo. For the Americans out there, this is copypasta is like Cockney (London) mixed with Scouse (Liverpool), Yorkshire and Geordie (Newcastle).


Why the fuck do you have a pool of livers?


They had to do something with all the bodies of those natives




They're human livers, like low D-grade stock not fit for use in the body of an Englishman. We store them in a pool between civilisation and the barren wasteland that is Scotland. It's basically a battery to keep the Scots alive and drunk - the basic alcohol content in the blood of your average Scot will sterilise even the most riddled organ, but the trade-off is that they go through them rather quickly. It was constructed shortly after emperor Hadrian realised that his wall wasn't going to keep stop the onslaught of the barbarians at the norther border - so the best we could do was sue for peace, and keep them in a perpetual stupor. Hope this helps.


Why the fuck are they building new castles?


Gotta find a way to spend that PIF money somehow


There was Birmingham in there near the start as well mate. It was painful to read.


And modern slang 🤦‍♂️


Their insistence on the -> t' is pissing me right off.


Like where the blud come from




Gorilla warfare


Hehe, when the imposter is SAS


I read this an an aussie accent, and it works just as well


I read this in Jeremy Clarkson's voice


You mean the “i own a musket for self defense” copypasta


Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.


Grapeshot cannon copypasta or smoothbore nailed the neighbour’s dog copypasta


Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.


Unfathomably based


Please god help me with what based means, I’m old and having trouble putting it together in different contexts. Understood it on 4chan back in the day but now very confused


You say that something is ''Based'' if its something you strongly agree with, for example, I believe quartering Elon Musk like they did in the 14th century would be Based as fuck, and redpilled even.


Ahahahahaha what an image, and thanks dude


It used to mean being true to yourself regardless of connotation. Now it just means "Cool."


Yeah, just something you agree with. I miss the old definition


I was born in '88, you're not alone, '82.


It’s a term that was coined by pioneering cloud rap artist “Lil B” way back in the early 10s.


LMAO hoes on my dick cuz I like like Jesus, my friends were crazy about that clown back then


People generally aren’t aware of / don’t realise quite the sheer impact Lil B had on the rap game and by extension western pop culture as a whole. You can see the echoes of his influence all over the place. The dude should be far, far richer than he is.


It is a combination of insightful, against-the-grain, true-to-form, and in-line with strong values, and may be used naturally, ironically or meta-ironically. It is also gaining a bit more popularity among right-wing memers but they also use it ironically or meta-ironically so it really has a life all it's own.


One of my favorite copy pastas lol


God tier copypasta


https://youtu.be/aqBw3H_Ik3s for those interested in seeing this copypasta come to life. Personally my favorite, God Bless America 🇺🇲🦅


Read this in Dwight Schrutes voice


Own a musket fow home defense, since that's what the founding fathews intended. Fouw wuffians bweak into my house. "What the deviw?" As I gwab my powdewed wig and Kentucky wifwe. Bwow a gowf baww sized howe thwough the fiwst man, he's dead on the spot. Dwaw my pistow on the second man, miss him entiwewy because it's smoothbowe and naiws the neighbows dog. I have to wesowt to the cannon mounted at the top of the staiws woaded with gwape shot, "Tawwy ho wads" the gwape shot shweds two men in the bwast, the sound and extwa shwapnew set off caw awawms. Fix bayonet and chawge the wast tewwifies wapscawwion. He Bweeds out waiting on the powice to awwive since twianguwaw bayonet wounds awe impossibwe to stitch up. Just as the founding fathews intended.


I will never not upvote this


You want to know how I know this is fake? No headshots are allowed at the range. Along with required safety gear, it doesn't matter if you "choose to not wear it" you still have to Edit: I understand a lot of replies insulting me for not knowing that other ranges allow headshots. I apologize for my general assumption but after the explanation of "you will never need to shoot someone in the head for self-defense" and "people hit the machines" I never questioned why headshots weren't allowed at my range.


What range bans headshots at 50 though?


It is an indoor range so that means the machine that carries that target out to 50 yards is a machine that costs about $30,000 per unit. Headshots are banned because you could hit the machine and ruin it. Also, headshots are typically banned because you are supposed to he shooting at someone to kill. Self-defense starts at 25 yards (I believe) anyways so if you did need a headshots (once again, not legal) then 50 yards is too far away. The only place I could see that being allowed would be a at a military base


What in the fuck makes those cost 30 grand?




Dude a simple motor and clothesline for 30$ would be just fine. But 30k for that??? Wtf??


Heavy industrial materials?


Probably comes with a service contract built in or a decent warranty.


Lots of strong metal and technology. It could depend on what they are using but that's the price of a quality machine


> Lots of strong metal > Can't take a bullet


Virgin target machine: high maintenance, stays inside all day, dope trick shots are banned because getting shot literally ruins it. Chad target foam block: low maintenance, doesn't give a fuck where you put it, "hell yeah bro shoot me again"


*Hit me again Onii-chan, nyah* :3


Dude, small motor, painted mild steel, basic computer to program the distance, you can build one of those things with scraps. I don't doubt there are companies out there that sell them for $30K to morons, but the gun stores are getting fleeced


>strong metal and technology lol


If there is no competition for customers they can charge whatever the fuck they want.


Twenty grand for the bulldog clip, ten grand for the cable. They've gone up in price more than balloons.


Why not $8 rope, $4 pulley, $.10 clothespins?


Honestly, it's just a motorized string and pulley. As a hobbyist I've seen this all too well and I know that once you get specialized in hobbies they will nickel and dime you on the stupidest of shit, especially stuff that you really don't need to spend too much money on.


Interesting. I've never been to an indoor range with headshots banned at anything beyond like, 25 yards. I'm more surprised that the supposed old man's musket wasn't banned considering it's an indoor range.


It definitely would be. You don't go in there with fucking black powder. I think my range has signs up to that effect. Fake ass story.


Right? I couldn't think of an indoor range that would allow something like that. If it was an outdoor range, a different story but the safety hazard of being indoors with that is too high.


More importantly, smokeless gun powder has been the norm for over a century.


You using a box of virgin walmart ammo: pop pop pop Me using chad black powder: Big smoko, shock and awe, makes pussy boys who need premade cartridges seeth as it stings their soft manlet eyes. Creates big smokescreen so I avoid indecent exposure charge as I take a followup headshot with my massive cock.


Is that the norm for muzzle loaders these days? My in laws have a couple so they can get special hunting tags on the mountains near their cabin, but I've never loaded or fired one.


It's been the norm since the 1900's-1910's. It was invented in the 1880's.


muskets/early rifles need black powder over gunpowder because there's a different pressure between the two. you wouldn't be able to use a Black powder charge in a gun designed for gunpowder and vice versa without causing issues


Those machines in their entirety might be expensive but you aren't actually able to shoot anything that expensive. The only parts downrange are the pully and the cables/clips. The motor and gearing are either above the shooter or behind the backstop. Most ranges will include in their waiver something about including a repair fee if you shoot out their lines. (Which happens enough and is relatively cheap to repair) Trust me, they're smart enough to know that anything downrange will get shot eventually and there's no way in hell they're setting up anything downrange unless it absolutely needs to be there. And I've never been to a range that has a rule against "headshots" past a certain range. Especially since most people arent using silhouette targets but different types of bullseye targets anyways. That being said the story is fake for sure.


>Self-defense starts at 25 yards As in you'll be safe if the target is more 25 yards away or that it won't be seen as self defense if you shoot someone farther away than that?


This guy mixing too many random facts. Self defense is an entire conversation on its own and the 25 yards is an arbitrary number that might get taught is certain scenarios but I've never seen shooting ranges dictate to their shooters about self defense ranges unless you're in a self defense class. Some ranges I've been to have range/distance rules for certain lanes and fire rate rules and how many rounds you can fire in a minute etc. But not a single one of those rules was based on "self defense doctrine" it's all about shooter safety and comfort.


25 yards is 22.86 meters


Good bot


Do you even live in america? Every range I have been to let’s you shoot wherever you want, so long as the target is properly hung up and your aren’t hitting the machine


Wait so headshots are banned but aiming at a target 8 inches lower is fine? This doesn't make any sense. How about just don't put out silhouette targets.


I think it truly is mostly because they don't my range doesn't want people hitting the machine but they do say there is no reason for a headshot in self-defense and that's mostly what my range focuses on. Of course, hitting the target directly where you intend on hitting it is all the same no matter where you shoot.


> headshots are typically banned because you are supposed to he shooting at someone to kill. Self-defense starts at 25 yards (I believe) anyways so if you did need a headshots (once again, not legal) then 50 yards is too far away. WTF? All of this is wrong, self-defense is legal if you can articulate why the target was an imminent threat, if some dude 35 yards across a gas station parking lot is shooting at me am I legally not allowed to return fire??? Not training headshots is stupid because sometimes that's the only shootable part of the bad guy that they're presenting... I don't know if you're like, in the UK or something where gun law is weird? > The only place I could see that being allowed would be a at a military base LMAOOOOO I take headshots at LAGC, indoor range pissing distance from downtown LA in communist held California and the RSO's don't have any problem with it. The only thing I agree with is that some indoor ranges do not allow headshots to protect the target machine. Understandable IMO. Outdoor ranges are better, private lanes at outdoor ranges are the best if they're available.


And I thought we lived in america...


You're wrong, and don't know what you're talking about. I do headshots all day at the indoor range


I was just at a range in Austin with 100 yards. You can head shot or “top target” all day. Every range has different rules.


I unfortunately found this out about 30 replies too late lol. I did edit my comment to reflect those realizations but it was about 10 angry comments too late. I will never understand why people will get so angry at words over the internet, at least in this situation of a misunderstanding. (Hate speech is obviously different). It was weird to come back online to see all the different responses. I'm thinking of visiting another range in my area to see how they operate.


Meh, people are assholes and more so when you aren’t human behind a screen to them. Yeah the Range at Austin is awesome but the ceiling is all shot to shit…..I’m still not clear how……I just started shooting guns recently in my 30s (been around them my whole life just never shot one myself until 6 months ago) and put 3 all in the circle decent grouping with a 308 at 100 yards on my first try with a rifle ever. How someone hits the ceiling even with a crazy ass flyer is beyond me. I guess if they just yank the trigger or something…….especially with an AR platform or AK Platform that shit has near Zero recoil.


Shooting the ceiling is a very impressive feat. I honestly have no idea how someone could even accidentally do that. How do you like shooting? I have found it very therapeutic and surprisingly calming. It's so much fun to see how accurate I can be from one day to the next. I go with a friend who takes gun responsibility very seriously and thoroughly walked me through regulations, etiquette, and safety before we shot or I even held a gun. That's awesome to hear that you have a finely tuned shot already! If I were at the range and someone hit the ceiling, I would probably go to the lobby and wait for them to leave. If they can't control their gun, then it would only be a matter of time before a shot goes sideways. That's absolutely terrifying.


I enjoy it quiet a bit, and also find it relaxing. It is a breathing exercise if you are doing it right like Bjj or even Yoga. I also usually go with an extremely experienced shooter. He has one of the craziest collections i've ever seen, over 30 long arms not including pistols. His personal go to home defense is a Steyr AUG Z if that says anything so I get to use a lot of very cool things.


I regularly shoot at 4 different indoor ranges in my area. I have also shot at many more across the US. Even mixture of both private and public. Not a single one of those ranges has banned headshots. The machine that moves the target is also located above the shooting bay in every one of these ranges I’ve been to. Maybe you know something I don’t or have experienced something I haven’t. But those machines are also super simple in design and generally use a pulley system with a cheap replaceable clip for attaching your target. Not to mention, it would be dumb as fuck to put a machine down range, regardless of who’s shooting and their skill level.


If you're supposed to be shooting to kill, then wouldn't a headshot kill just as easily as a bullet through the heart?


The idea is that you aren't shooting to kill. What I've been taught for self-defense is that you apply the necessary force for the situation. Try to escape the situation before action is necessary. Small guy: one non-fatal shot with a small calibre. Larger guy: 2-3 non-fatal shots with small calibre (if necessary) The point of the defense is to be able to get away from a violent situation. I really liked my training, I feel that it was carried out in the most professional manner possible. But that is just one man's opinion.


I've never been to an indoor range that banned headshots, that said, almost all of them ban powder shot as described in the post, which would be the biggest tell here


Would a range allow a legit musket anyways my money is on no except maybe under specific circumstances that are cleared in advance and no way it has any kind of accuracy that far out regardless of how practiced with it you are. Maybe a muzzle load rifle but regardless it's fake and gay cause you should keep your eyes on your on package and not others.


>You want to know how I know this is fake? > >No headshots are allowed at the range. You want to know how I know you're a fucking idiot? Every range has different rules you dumb fuck. My range has no rules whatsoever about where you shoot on the target. Yes it's indoor with the sliding targets.


"I went to a Fudd range once in high school, now I tell people online I'm a gun expert".


That's it lol


But almost all ranges ban powder shot as described in this post


That is true lol


Since when when can you not shoot headshots? I've only shot at an indoor range twice, but I did a mix of headshots and torso shots with no problems. Ear protection is required, but they never said anything about no headshots. Is that a regional thing?


The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.


>Headshots are not allowed at the range. Most ranges don't give a fuck where you hit the target. That's just a rule at your range. It isn't what makes this story obviously fake.


Also the fact that he specified that the guy is British while also saying he never spoke so how would anon know where he’s from without hearing his accent?


Probably got a look at his teeth.


Lol and his cup of tea


Perhaps he was wearing his red coat lol


You want to know how I know it’s fake? It’s a greentext


Lol but I believe everything I read on the internet and get angry with anything I disagree with /s


What about the whole black powder and carrying a loaded flintlock pistol in your pocket thing?


Yeah this is bullshit, any range I've been to has no mention of headshots in the rules. They specify not to shoot the equipment and that if you break it you're liable, but that's it.


Both vary on the range, the real way to tell is because no indoor range would allow black powder because there is literally no way to filter that much smoke from an enclosed space


There was an old aussie guy who went to the local range (which was basically just a big field out in the woods at the time) and he'd always set up a target 20 paces away, fire a revolver at it rapidly, and miss every shot, except for the first and last ones which always went into the dick. Twas wack


I don’t want to get in a shootout with this guy.




I see.


Fake: it's not possible for someone British to be this based Gay: Anon fires an old man's pistol ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


As a Brit I agree


It's clear you haven't met Callum Adams from Callums Corner


Louis what are you doing on reddit that's bad for your health




fake: muskets aren't accurate enough for headshots gay: OP wanted to bang the old man


Smoothbore probably, I think rifled gives a bit better chances


its 50 yards, not 200 lmao.


You know rifled muzzleloaders exist right? Like, the civil war had fucking *snipers.* They were used in formation because covered warfare is ineffective when you can't fire more than a shot per minute. Also, they *were* used in trench warfare. It was a major part of the American Civil War, and inspired the European powers to start experimenting with the concept.


The Persians had long-ranged rifles in like 1600


Afghan Jezzile was also famous for its accuracy. It took a long time to reload though, like most rifled muskets.


Rifled muzzle-loaders were also a major part of the American Revolutionary War -- specifically the [Kentucky rifle](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long_rifle).


Desktop version of /u/ominous_anonymous's link: --- ^([)[^(opt out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiMobileLinkBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^(]) ^(Beep Boop. Downvote to delete)


it was probably a rifled musket some later models werent smoothbore, but the downside was that they required way more maintenance


This dude is straight lying through his teeth. Bro almost nothing you said is true


Clearly you dont have old man strength


Anon doesn’t know the inaccuracy of muskets. This is fake as hell


He also didn't realize his mistake. How did he know he's British if he didn't speak the entire time?


RNGesus didn't help this man, RNGod did, as this is technically possible That or anon saw a new chapter of Sharpe being shot Then again anon may have seen a rifle instead of a musket


And no range would allow someone to shoot without ear pro, it's an insurance liability.


Fake: Bringing an antique/replica muzzle-loaded powder rifle to an unfamiliar range without talking to anyone there and not being stopped for at least a safety chat. Fake: Not using smokeless powder at an *indoor* range. Gay: Anon admires old man blasting load after load.


How could he have known he was British if he didn't speak the entire time??


His teeth


Indeed anon met one of the most based


Mans a English civil war veteran


Understandable. Have a nice day


very cool, unfortunately British


“Yep, still got it”


the older the weapon is, the more its "based" value increases. exponentially proportional, in this case.


Me using an obsidian club.


I remember something similar but the kid was barely 18 120lbs wet mag dumping his gpas AKm


Probably a black powder rifle, not a musket, going by the accuracy.


Most based?


Did he have a powdered wig?


Own a musket for home defense just as the founding fathers intended


How would they know he’s British if he never said a word


*windows shake* you know smokeless powder is 3x more powerful than black powder?


\> Be me, old guy with passion for old guns \> Bring musket and flintlock to gun range \> People are staring at me \> nervous.jpg \> Pick range booth \> Notice that there is a bullet hole in target head \> ohwell.png \> Load musket and shoot, completely missing and hitting a street lamp \> Everyone looks at me and gets silent \> Feel pressured to keep going \> Misses 20 more times and gives up \> I guess I’ll try with my flintlock pistol \> Fires once and misses \> Fuck me im going home I suck at this


Damn that's crazy


He was just letting you all know he still got IT


He wast just letting thee all knoweth he still did get t *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`


I'm pretty sure the word based means absolutely everything and everyone because I've seen that word be applied to everyone and everything.


Now, I'm no gun or military expert, but I don't think muskets let out enough smoke to fucking FILL a room....nor would they be widely used if they ever did...


If you're firing for ages in a confined space it can accumulate. They give off so much smoke infact that during the battles fought during that era that after the first few volleys from the same position, you would not be able to make out individual enemies, just the mass of them and the vague colour of their uniforms through the 'fog of war'. This was the reason why all the uniforms were so brightly coloured, so that you could see your friends in the smoke. Here is a perfect example from the 5000 man Waterloo reenactment in 2015 https://youtu.be/-pINwgdmjgM There are more videos from this event and others that show the extent of the smoke generation. So if its a small room with little air circulation yes it will probably fill with smoke pretty badly after a few shots. In this obviously fake story it sounds like the guy is firing incessantly which would probably give off enough smoke to do that.


If he never said a word, how does anon know he was British?


Anon met George Washington


Man's been training since 1776


would have been even more based if he’d missed every shot


Fake: you're not allowed to fire black powder at indoor ranges because sparks and burning powder residue will flash off the smokeless powder that is coating the floor from the modern firearms and cause a nasty fire. And it takes longer than 15 seconds to load and fire. Gay: OP still thinks about an old man who shook his body with thunderous vigor


The Tory want to take this away from you


I envy their grandson


Snipin's a good job, mate.


And then he pulled out a katana and effortlessly shredded the machete that was headed for his neck in half without turning around. Blackpowdaboos are a thing now? We don't need more people talking about mystical old weapons that break physics if you're "just that good"


He's waiting on you all to slip up and blam! 50 states back in the Empire!


As the redcoats intended?


*reading post* Beware the man with one gu-- *flintlock pistol?!?* TWO guns and knows how to use them!


No sipping of tea, 4/5


why did i think it said 'mcdonalds' at first


British? Cringe.


"Is shootin' toim innit?"


I guess I'm just old but the term "based" is cringe as fuck