T O P
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WornInShoes

Edith I told you I can't build you a candy house! It will fall apart, the sun will melt the candy, it won't work!


JGrutman

"Bye! I love you! You're never gonna make it!"


aspidities_87

I love how by the end there’s like….eight babies in the house.


Hickspy

"You took her side every time! All you care about is fruit, and touching yourself! SO FUCK YOU!"


P1NK8C1D

"You can take the children, but you leave me my monkey..."


Drumhead89

“I think I’m doing pretty good for a 14 year old with a wife and a baby.”


ahomelessguy25

It will if it never rains!


Komar01

The rain will melt the candy, it will never work! \-Not if it never rains!!


Never_Less

"It's the logical next step for you."


dtudeski

Tim Meadows is the fucking best.


Breaklance

He was great in Popstar with Andy Samberg >I was in a band in highschool, you may have heard of them called Tony Toni Toné Tonee. We broke up over creative differences. Each Tony had an exclamation mark after their name but I thought my name should have a question mark, so its Tony! Toni! Toné! Tonee? In hindsight it was not my best decision.


Grooth

"okay, now I have to collate that" "Great, have fun collating..." "There's no fun in collating!" such perfect delivery.


spider7895

The Lonely Island got screwed by the studio with Popstar. The studio forced that stupid title and then against the groups wishes marketed it as a Justin Bieber parody, which it really wasn't. If anything it was a Justin Timberlake/Beasty Boys parody. Every damn song they wrote for that movie is a banger. the movie is funny all the way through. Chris Redd should have got a lot of recognition too. The whole movie should have been this generations Spinal Tap.


taosaur

The theatrical release of Walk Hard was a hatchet job, too. They cut jokes in half, leaving setups with no punchlines and vice versa. It was barely coherent.


dlenks

Pop star is an extremely underrated comedy.


VerucaBlind

He does the voice of the mail carrier on Bob's Burgers. I probably rewound the same clip of him about 10x before I gave in and looked up who the voice actor was.


Tarellethiel18

I absolutely adored him in B99, he was hilarious :D


buster_rhino

They were children, Jake. Weak little children.


Ok_Ear_5262

He was so damn good on SNL for so many years. Tremendously underrated.


ABucketFull

He is an unsung hero. His humor and writing is incredible.


mayorjimmy

[One of his best sketches.](https://youtu.be/9iDOCLOqFyw)


International_Item_6

Leon Phelps\*


Pithius

oohh its a lady


LegoBobaFett

Well, I can tell by the empty bottle of Courvoisier it’s time to go.


TheWhatyWhaten

But before I go, I'd like to leave you with, uh, just one more thought. This is a little something that I wrote. And I read: What is love? What is this yearning in our hearts for togetherness? Is not love the sweetest flower? Does not this flower of love have the fragrant aroma of fine, fine diamonds? Does not the wind love the dirt? Is not love not unlike the unlikely not it is unlikened to? Are you with someone tonight? Do not question your love. Take your lover by the hand, release the power within yourself. You heard me, release the power. Tame the wild cosmos with a whisper. Conquer Heaven with one intimate caress. That's right, don't be shy Whip out everything you've got and do it in the butt. By Leon Phelps


Entangler

Can I buy you a fish sandwich?


sudo_shinespark

I've had it with all this crap! All you care about is fruit and touching yourself. Well, fuck you!


Channel250

They said we'll pay you 5 thousand dollars and I was all like, nope you'll give that that giraffe. So, thats why we have a giraffe.


talbottone

“Look, I know I've had my trouble with drugs in the past. But I'm addicted to coke, weed, booze, ludes and speed. Not LSD. Nobody gets addicted to LSD. It was invented by Scientists. Ringo Starr just told me."


hearsay_and_rumour

Whoever decided that Paul Rudd, Jack Black, Jason Schwartzman, and Justin Long should be cast as The Beatles deserves an award of some kind.


obeythed

“I wrote a song about an octopus…”


LoganNeinFingers

Shut the fuck up, you're lucky we still let you play drooms.


analogkid01

"I wonder if your songs'll still be shit when I'm 64..."


P1NK8C1D

Great record...


talbottone

GREAT RECORD!


ManOnTheRun73

"Beatles, please stop fighting here in India!"


PapaJhon16

I’m going to watch the movie just for this


bluenoise

You are in for a treat.


Naterek

Holy shit I’m so jealous of you. I wish I could see this movie for the first time again.


Deliberated

It’s one of those movies I’ve known about forever and this clip finally sold me on it.


Icantblametheshame

It's the best musical parody movie of all time, even the music itself is absolutely top notch, and Tim meadows just has the absolute best comedic delivery ever.


starmartyr

Not just music, but the biopic formula in general.


devilishycleverchap

It was so good it practically killed the genre for a decade


misdreavus79

…what movie is it?


Diazepampoovey

Walk Hard. It's basically a parody of the usual 'Young, good guy musician with tragic back story hits it big, gets messed up on drugs, fucks up their entire life, eventually gets sober and when they're old and sober finally learned.to stay away from bad temptations' films. Mostly, it mocks.the Johnny Cash story and the movie 'Walk the Line' about him. It's a fuxkinf great movie and Tim Meadows is just a brilliant actor


Ishouldnt_haveposted

It mocks a whole lot more than just Walk the Line. The Doors, Ray, etc "Walk the Line was clearly a big influence, it's not directly spoofing Johnny Cash's story - everything from Ray to Great Balls of Fire to John Carpenter's Elvis"


ThisHatRightHere

If you haven't seen Walk Hard it's definitely worth at least one watch. One of the most quotable movies in my lifetime.


painfulwincing

Wrong kid died


Shitychikengangbang

He's done gone smell blind


Mortholemeul

How you gonna play the guitar if you can't smell?


whollottalatte

This is my favorite stupid comedy movie. It’s gold


nightpanda893

Jack White as Elvis was inspired.


AntRedundAnt

LOOK OUT MAN 👋🏼


Badboy420xxx69

choppa-man-n'half


Fil0rican420

It's called karatay, man and theres only two people on the earth that know it. The Chinese...and the king


japalian

...... *looks at band* "What the fuck was he talking about?"


kdeaton06

TIL that was Jack White


OnlyCuntsSayCunt

“….mmmm Paul’s a big fat cunt….”


Kroniid09

Peace and love, peace and love!


trextinydog

"Beatles, please stop fighting in India."


Pithius

Ok so long as its just this one time. Lets go drop acid with the beatles


fish500

"It turns all of your bad feelings into good feelings. It's a nightmare!" Probably one of the most accurate descriptions of what doing cocaine is like.


AlikA124

That line makes my ex co-workers c’cain habit make a lot more sense. I always thought it just kept you awake and alert


AdvicePerson

It also makes you think you're a really interesting conversationalist.


ZolaWasTheHooker

Yeah but so does alcohol The cocaine version is just more of an INTENSE converstaionalist lol


AlPaCherno

That's because coke and alcohol go hand in hand!


Bela-The-Creator

They don't call em nose beers for nothin.


Beetso

A lot of people don't know this, but when you mix cocaine with alcohol it metabolizes into an entirely new psychoactive drug in your bloodstream called cocaethylene. Cocaethylene is an absolutely fantastic high that is far greater than the sum of its parts. Unfortunately, it's also about 10 times more cardiotoxic than cocaine is on its own. It's a very lovely, but very dangerous combination!


starmartyr

That's why speedballs were so popular for a while. The positive effects of heroin and cocaine combined with the negative effects canceled out. It just has the unfortunate side effect of killing you fairly quickly.


codexx33

Nah, that's caffeine. Cocaine makes you feel really fucking good. You think people get horribly addicted to this shit and ruin their lives over something that just makes you awake and alert? I get addicted easily and have run into cocaine a lot over the years. Luckily, for me, the only thing I'm more addicted to than any drug is SLEEP. Cocaine fucks with your sleep so it's a trash tier drug


Horton_Takes_A_Poo

The best deterrent to doing cocaine is the 2 days after you do cocaine


stuffnthangs41493

Ah man the anxiety/depression wave hits so fucking hard


Nattylight_Murica

Plus the hangover on top of that from drinking 30 beers


stuffnthangs41493

Yep. You’re spot on


DibbleDots

yeah things get really dark for me for like 3 days after. main reason i dont do it


AkaParazIT

Here's how I beat that, I just do more cocaine after one day.


mdwstoned

Yea, I kind of thought that was a pretty common fix. Personally, I tried to only do it when I was awake. I miss the late 80's


jstbcuz

It’s the mad congestion for me 😮‍💨


Kundrew1

The tired jaw, tweaking, anxiety through the roof.


notorious98

A friend of mine asked if I'd ever try coke. I told her no. She said that she thought I'd really like it and I told her that's why I didn't want to try it.


socokid

> You think people get horribly addicted to this shit and ruin their lives over something that just makes you awake and alert? Chemical addiction is a hell of a thing that has little to do with want, and exactly why it's dangerous as fuck. Cocaine makes you feel like Superman, but coming down off of it is one of the worst feelings you can have. Feel like a dirt bag... and then I want more. Downward spiral of absolute shit if you aren't very careful. ...


TheWhyWhat

Out of all the drugs I've tried nicotine is still probably the worst, I'm not even sure it ever did anything positive for me but I still feel like shit if I don't get it. As for other drugs it's usually just simple boredom that gets me coming back for more.


liltingly

YMMV with coke. Some people get a massive kick out of it, others just feel what you described. Probably not worth finding out unless you’re willing to risk being the former and parting with a lot of money.


2drawnonward5

Could be like .1% of the population and cocaine makes your heart outpace The Flash for a brief moment.


Torchic336

I tried cocaine once and that same night found out my childhood best friend was found dead in the Grand Canyon. I then proceeded to silently spiral for what felt like hours but was probably only like 15 minutes. I haven’t tried it since


Gonzostewie

I'm Paul McCartney, *LEADER OF THE BEATLES.*


HutSutRawlson

Beatles! Stop fighting in India!


Bear-Ferr

Mmmmm Paul's a big fat cunt.


hyrule5

I love the Beatles so much and that scene made me cry laughing. It basically condenses all of the Beatles' problems into a 2 minute scene, the casting is ridiculous and every line is perfect Link for those who haven't seen it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2g\_xaVNY9P4


SlothOfDoom

And you never once paid for drugs!


Azacar

AND YOU HAD SEX WITH ME TOO!!! AND I’VE HAD CONFUSED FEELINGS ABOUT THAT FOR 15 YEARS!!


DylanBob1991

AND YOU ALWAYS GIVE US THOSE DAMN... SIAMESE GLASS CATS FOR CHRISTMAS! I DON'T WANT ANYMORE.. SIAMESE GLASS CATS!


Dominum_Pullum

AND YOU DIDNT PAY FOR DRUGS. NOT ONCE


yeddiboy

Not. Once.


herberstank

... and you never once paid for drugs!


IAMERROR1234

Not. Even. Once.


ebwood92

And you never once paid for drugs


Ravagore

Not


International_Item_6

even


IAMERROR1234

once!


kdeaton06

You never threw a girl our way. We like cheating on our wives too.


elsparkodiablo

You pay the monkey more than us!


br0wens

I had to borrow from the monkey to pay my mortgage.


Ishouldnt_haveposted

You slept with my wife. You slept with me and I've had mixed feelings about it ever since!


TheMicMic

I saw this movie in the theatre and I laughed so much I embarrassed myself.


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stosal

Watch the full directors cut if you can. It is the superior version.


whyunoletmepost

"You don't want no part of this shit", I use that line any chance I get.


koolaidman89

For me it’s “yeahh let’s do that” from Tim meadows when the Beatles suggest dropping acid. I slip it in often.


monkeyhind

"I think I kinda want it." I forgot how funny that movie is.


yajtraus

What movie is this?


Spookykid96

Walk Hard


Clay56

Walk Hard. It's a parody of Walk The Line and music biopics in general


chromaticsoup

It’s the cheapest drug there is!


killer_icognito

It makes sex even better!


TheThemFatale

It's not habit forming!


painfulwincing

You can't OD on it!


ZeusMoiragetes

I think I kinda want it!


UnderAchiever7

The wrong kid died


jarrydjames

"you ain't even half the boy that half of him was" "Are you saying I ain't even a quarter of the boy he was?"


HutSutRawlson

In his defense, it’s shocking easy to accidentally cut your brother in half


landof10000cakes

This is the worst case of someone being cut in half I have ever seen.


ashamedprotein

Speak English, doc! We ain't scientists!


Lou_Salazar

I just never realized until just this moment how easy it is to cut someone in half with a machete.


P1NK8C1D

I should of spent more time playing catch with ya, rather than training my mind and body to kill you in a machete fight.


LaVidaYokel

Ain't nuthin' horrible gonna happen today!


HockeyPaul

"What are you talking about pa it's a song about holding hands?" "You watchyer mouth"


engelbert_humptyback

Another two or three seconds would've been great so you can see him encounter The Temptations in the alley


WardOfReckoning

"Oh, the Temptations!"


kahran

I really need to watch this movie. I don't know why I put it off. I love John C. Reilly.


sdyawg

I was just going to say, way to cut the best gag after the setup even lol


citricacidx

[I got you fam](https://youtu.be/s0sFAEvTVXY)


CrawlinOutTheFallout

I watch this movie almost every year. My favorite line is "I'm so proud of you for learning to play the guitar so good. Even without your sense of smell" "Aw momma I learned to play by ear"


floatablepie

"I thought you should know what your music does. It kills people. You made her happy, and it killed her."


Wiggitywhackest

We're gonna light us a candle tonight.


CrazyJack66

This movie rocks! Who would’ve thought that the remedy for high drug detox would be the correct amount of blankets?


armyjackson

He needs MORE blankets and LESS Blankets!


Wiggitywhackest

I'm afraid you're right.


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ChattanoogaMocsFan

One of the best written comedies ever. It constantly switches between pure genius and completely stupid, and muddies the waters on what the definition of genius and stupid really is. The song writing is fantastic and overall is such an enjoyable flick.


TacosArePeopleToo

That's all John C Reilly actually singing. Which is impressive as hell. I wish Let Me Hold You Little Man was like five times as long because it's one of the funniest songs I've ever heard.


LaffyStaphy

In my dreams you're blowing me..... some kisses.


sinkwiththeship

That's one of my favorite things to do. 🎵🎶


Eating-Your-Beans

Well John C Reilly is Mr Cellophane, he’s had great singing chops for a while!


armyjackson

I don't usually rewatch movies, but I've seen this movie about 20 times (to make people watch it) and I still laugh out loud.


manquistador

I love that his name is Cox for two dicks jokes through the entire movie. It is just so stupid and brilliant.


MildlyExtraneous

Cox and Lil' Nutsak! What a package!


hempbyrn

C’cain


NauvooMetro

GODDAMMIT, THIS IS A DARK FUCKIN PERIOD!


WornInShoes

He needs more blankets and less blankets!


sagitta_luminus

He can’t hear you. He’s gonna die anyway.


MJPNFCdextergrif

THE WRONG KID DIED!


snapplesauce1

This is a particularly bad case of someone being cut in half.


-full-control-

Speak English doc, we ain’t rock scientists!


MJPNFCdextergrif

All the elevator buttons Soo incredibly high I stand today for the midget Half the size of a regular guy


Zachrod23

I'm afraid you're right!


Hungol

In my dream you’re blowing me …. Some kisses


Bobwise392

Tonight I'm gonna beat off ... all my demons


iploggged

NGL, Pam looks pretty good all tarted up.


VonMillersThighs

She's wicked hot in this movie.


Mondo114

Speak English, doc!


gooch_norris

This was a particularly bad case of being cut in half


Texcellence

His top half is no longer connected to his bottom half.


Imaginary_Barber1673

This movie destroyed an entire genre so effectively that people just collectively decided to not watch it so they could keep enjoying stupid formulaic music biopics


AreWeCowabunga

My family kept raving about Bohemian Rhapsody and how I had to see it, and I was just like "Nah, sorry, I've seen Walk Hard."


Imaginary_Barber1673

Ex-actly


EllisDee3

I'll just watch this again, instead of that Elvish movie.


indian22

>Elvish movie Lord of the Rings?


EllisDee3

You don't want no part of this, Frodo! It'll turn you invisible!


NBucho528

It’s a nightmare! (Okay that part actually is also true)


Channel250

I don't want to get addicted to no Ring. Its non addictive! Okay, but its gold so its probably pretty expensive Its the cheapest Ring there is!


Nixplosion

You don't want know part of this, Frodo! It's Lembas Bread!


katycake

Maybe it was some Elvis Presley movie narrated by Sean Connery.


skaagz

Presley! What do your Elvis eyes see?


ritsbits808

Top 5 comedies of all time, change my mind


ncsbass1024

"I've got no fucking sense of smell!"


totalrefan

It's OK Ma, I learned how to play by ear.


seb_jacome

"It's not habit forming", Me who has been smoking weed since 16 for ten years now...


longest_ladder

What do you think, George Harrison of The Beatles?


heyitsmeiseeyou

The Elvis scene!! “Look out maonnnnn””


Wiggitywhackest

It's called karate, and only two kinds of people know it.


lucidum

John C Reilly is my idol. He's not as high profile as Will Ferrell but he's been in more brilliant movies.


ncsbass1024

Greatest comedy movie ever. "Wrong kid died god damnit"


pkacidlord

you know who else has hands


42itous

The devil! And he uses 'em for holdin'!


Freikorp

The devil! And he uses them for holding!


JGrutman

"Goddamnit, this is a dark fucking period!"


GojiBelt

"The RIGHT kid is gonna die tonight"


the_dionysian_1

"Did you hear what I said? It gives you a BONER!"


thediesel26

Gotta add the bit where he’s on PCP


popeboyQ

I'm Zeus!


Kobane

Tim Medows is a top 5 SNL cast member in my opinion.


javabender

Great movie. Don’t forget to walk hard out there folks


ALLGROWWITHLOVE

This movie looks fun what is it called ?


awibasedgod

you can take the kids, but you will leave me my monkey


Vogel-Kerl

One of the few movies I bought on DVD. An under-rated gem; that's for true.


TheArturoO

Care to share the title?


kaowser

Lets duet.


xCudz

Holy shit. I forgot about this hidden gem. Love this movie.


finjesus

Extended version is the best.