T O P
Ambivalent_Anglican

Also oddly specific


APoolio12

I know. What if its three days after her 22nd birthday? An hour before her 23rd? Is there a sudden stank flip? Or a gradual un-buttering? If gradual, does that mean that babies smell extra creamy? I dunno...babies do smell pretty dang good but thats mostly just all that awesome baby bath n such.


Wadmania

Babies smell WAY too creamy and buttery. /s


Powerful-Artichoke66

Now I'm imagining a dirty diaper smell. Thanks.


aedroogo

I'm getting the fuck out of here.


Septopuss7

Right behind ya


VileInventor

Hold the door


cre100382

Hodor


connoratchley2

That’s where all the crème is 😏😩💦


Septopuss7

![gif](giphy|I8z7CGrLDLpbq|downsized)


KliCks83

I learned the hard way to not point my little boy’s poop shoot the wrong way when checking diaper rash during a changing. Kid sniped me directly in the mouth with liquid shit. He’s 10 now. Good times. Edit: grammar


SpectrumDT

I remember I was happy when my son stopped smelling like vomit.


almisami

I wa gonna say, infants smell like bile to me.


Lady_Scruffington

The Un-Buttering of Sally Forthright will be my new romance novel, available in Fall '22.


Fair_Adhesiveness849

On the day after her 22nd bday, Sally could sense something was wrong. Like she didn’t smell slightly sweet and buttery anymore and her appeal to creepy older men had vanished


Head-like-a-carp

Defamed and decreamed


Legendary_Bibo

In the wise words of Mark Hoppus, nobody likes you when you're 23.


Lehelito

"Sudden Stank Flip" - dibs on the band name.


Shadows798

Babies just smell nice bc of their soap and powder.


MoogTheDuck

They do once cooked in a butter cream sauce Edit: or so I’ve heard


Ackilles

Ya I feel like he didn't really mean 16, but somehow felt that was the youngest age he could "get away with" posting


Mackem101

Well 16 is the age of consent in the UK, so yep.


trustdabrain

Consent to what ? Being a dumb teen ?


Mackem101

Legally able to consent to sexual acts with an adult who's not in a position of power over them.


IllustriousPickle218

He probably got it from Lolita. I remember Humbert describing what a nymphet smells like. It's fucking disgusting.


captianwnoboat

That seriously makes the most sense.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DonDove

More like 8-16 It's the silent part but someone has to say it


KaptainKardboard

Red flag, if you ask me


Ok_Skill_1195

Of course it is - the mans a predator. He has tbar scent viscerally locked into his brain, he probably struggles to get off without it. I'd absolutely believe there could be smell changes in that age range. 24ish was around when I started to notice subtle signs of hormonal changes and getting older. The issue is freaks like this genuinely think that the world should revolve around what does and doesn't get their dicka hard. Like ok sir, teenage girls smell like sweet corn. Got it. Imma go ahead and need you to never approach a college campus ever again, you fucking freak


The_Proper_Potato

Nah. I was a teenage girl not so long ago. Trust me, we didn’t naturally smell of sugar and vanilla! You know what did, though? Our B&BW body sprays and Victoria’s Secret perfumes. So I’m pretty sure that’s what he’s smelling: The cheap body sprays marketed to a younger demographic. Whereas older women usually prefer more sophisticated, more complex, less sugary scents, hence the perceived change.


9021FU

I was a teenage girls many many years ago and thought the same. Body wash, lotion then top it off with the body spray. Everything now is what *won’t” give me hives or have an overwhelming scent.


FatalisCogitationis

I’m a dude and my smell has changed not just from diet and lifestyle but also just over the course of aging. So yeah the premise is believable to a degree but it’s his obsession with it and clear tendency towards *very* young women that is disgusting


[deleted]

I think he messed up when he said girl, I believe he meant garlic bread because that shi be fire 🔥


APoolio12

22 years old is the PERFECT age for a garlic bread! Mmmmmm. I've been hiding one in my sock drawer since 2006...almost there!


[deleted]

Oh yes. I myself am a 21 year old piece of garlic bread almost 22(next month)! All i can say is that a yearly buttering does me some good, it keeps the garlic potent. I haven’t see any vamipres as of late so thats a good sign.


garlic_bread_thief

I'm 22 too


[deleted]

I didn’t expect you to be here! Bouta be stealing all the garlic bread? Lol


foursticks

Thanks for helping me cope


SpiritOne

Hey google, how do you unread something?


Rreterz

Will Smith’s slap might be able to get these words out of our fucking memories


ApprehensiveJello7

My 90 year old grandma can slap you harder then Will Smith


modefi_

That's called experience.


Ahmagid

either my mind is really dirty or i get the joke


Psychological_Text95

Can’t it be both?


Heckron

My 4’11” grandma at 85 or so, would tell me as a teenager, “you may be bigger than me now, but I can smack up as well as down.”


Morphevz

How does she smell tho?


ApprehensiveJello7

She's in a nursing home so mostly like dirty diapers.


tubaman23

Is she single?


underbelly_of_scum

KEEP THIS CREEP’S WORDS OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND!


Breaking80Eventually

I’ve never audibly laughed at something until I read this.


WebbityWebbs

If that’s what it takes.


Sellier123

If u figure it out, please let me know


AdGlittering9727

For real. Jesus Christ this made me feel sick to my stomach. Thanks Reddit


WebbityWebbs

Yes. Me to please.


TheOneWes

Yeah that's the "not done baking smell”. You quit being creepy and leave them in the oven.


Disastrous-Menu_yum

I fucking love you that is the best response


SpelCleave

I've had this free award thing for ages. Finally someone has earned it. I'm in stitches over here lol


1RatQueen1

... you get a free award every 24 hours just fyi lmao


SpelCleave

lol oh. well I just never used the first one 😂


Membership_Fine

Holy crap I’m crying that was too good man.


lelawes

This. Leave the easy-bake oven alone and go creep on women your own age.


CertifiedBSC

Woman his age be all FUCK NO!!!


THE_SWORD_AND_SICKLE

Underrated comment! This shit had me in tears!!!🤣🤣🤣


typicalsnowman

When you read 1 comment and realize there are none better below. Well said


seamusbeoirgra

[https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/may/22/tweet-on-tory-local-election-candidates-account-says-teenage-girls-smell-buttery-and-creamy](https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/may/22/tweet-on-tory-local-election-candidates-account-says-teenage-girls-smell-buttery-and-creamy) "On Saturday a post on the Twitter account of Jonty Campbell, who has stood for the party in Preston on a number of occasions, said: “Here’s the thing with girls 22 or under, they smell massively different to a girl of 28. Girls aged 16 to, say 23, have this buttery, creamy, slightly sweet smell that is unbelievably magnetic.” Campbell is listed on Preston Conservative Association website as holding the position of deputy chair of campaigning. He has been a candidate for the party five times in recent elections and byelections for Preston city council, most recently in Ribbleton in May, where he lost to the Labour party."


Weak-Operation1613

This pedo holds an office and has real world power. We need to stop the narrative that these kind of people are just creepy fringe weirdos that live on the internet. Ffs


Additional_Set_5819

Dude resigned because of this tweet. https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1615190/Conservative-Party-tweet-girls-Jonty-Campbell-Preston-City-Council I'm glad this was unacceptable to the people of Preston


VdomanFla

I just don't get what this moron was thinking? I mean, that has to be mental illness to think you would post that publicly and looking for confirmation? WTF?


SnooMaps9864

Probably forgot to switch to his alt account


skeetsauce

Because a lot of people he knows will say this kind of shit in private and thought it would be fine to say openly.


TheRootofSomeEvil

Hubris begets nemesis.


Additional_Set_5819

Maybe he feels bad about how attracted he is to women that are old enough to be his daughter/granddaughter. Maybe he obsesses over it and it's driven him to some pretty wild thoughts and actions to try and feel better about it. Or maybe he's just really pervy and figures everyone else is thinking it, so he'll just say it and they'll all get it.


srrymydog8yrtwinkie

Just this week there was another one that was drunk and handsy who's resigned and not more than a day later he was telling everyone he's gone into some sort of rehab and hopes he'll have his job back soon. What a pig, sorry, another Tory pig.


uptbbs

He's a conservative, so if he were in the U.S. he would've won his primary.


pandoriAnparody

Damned creep should be investigated and all his computers and storage be checked. Who tf goes around saying stuff like this?!


Wreck556

Great now full sweep his residence and find anything pedo oriented. Then hang him for it.


Automatic-War-7658

I thought that was a pre-requisite to being a politician.


Hardinyoung

Only Conservatives, apparently


CashCow4u

Mostly Republicans in US too. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_federal_political_sex_scandals_in_the_United_States Oh, the irony that they're always screaming about pedophiles & LGBTQ - me thinks they do protest too much! Malignantly psychologically projecting defending against their own disowned/highly negative parts, denying existence in themselves/attributing to others, breeding misunderstanding/causing untold interpersonal damage. Bullies project vulnerable feelings onto targets, confused feelings/inadequacy onto others, incorporating blame shifting/shame dumping. tRump is a master at this, said from start of campaign 'elections rigged', then he tried to rig them. Call himself an American patriot but has much love & praise for dictators. Says that America is now fighting communism in addition to socialism, then tried to silence opponents, discredit the free press, get his followers to overthrow valid election, the capitol and kill his vice president. Makes you wonder about his screaming 'witch hunt' when his followers act like cult members disowning friends, neighbors & family


squishpitcher

People who hold these views seem to seek out positions of power where they can a) get away with being gross creeps because they have power, and b) try to normalize being gross creeps I’m pleased it didn’t work out this time


neo101b

Have you heard of good old jimmy savile ? https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/feb/26/jimmy-savile-given-free-rein-to-sexually-abuse-60-people-report-finds


Gina-Smith

jimmy so-vile


neo101b

yup, another high-profile scum bag gets to do what he wants.


BoredCheese

I was sure his name was Humbert Humbert.


einhorn_is_parkey

Why is it always a conservative politician.


ialwaysplayhealer

Bet money this guy has called an LGBT person a groomer.


appealtoreason00

>Campbell is listed on Preston Conservative Association website "Say the line, Bart"


Agreeable-Display-77

Wtf? ![gif](giphy|dOl2LFw0RbTMc)


APoolio12

Creamy


roararoarus

Buttery


JKMC4

Slightly sweet


D4Torment

Unbelievably magnetic


Karthanok

Dick


Fabulous_Guidance494

That’s a ten


JackkoMTG

It doesn’t take much.


dethjamz

Flakey


BondageKitty37

Crispity, crunchity, peanut-buttery


bell613

Crust


Dragonsarmada

FUCK YEAHHHHHH. Americaaaaaa🦾🦾 🎶


ManikShamanik

He's British. He was a Tory local election candidate (forget where for). Being a bit rapey is pretty much standard for male Tories.


c6a6m

I guess he's in government...


expontherise

In the uk, you are correct. Conservative party


SFAwesomeSauce

*Shocking*


nudul

Yup


The_Undermind

Whereas 16 year old boys smell like axe body spray? Source: Me, I was once 16.


LesTerribles

Boys 16, to say 23, have this creamy, cheesy, slightly sour smell that is unbelievably repulsive.


The_Undermind

So all 16- 23 year olds are basically blue cheese?


Shadows798

True. I remember being 16, the guys STANK of that.


JJOne101

And axe aftershave... Shaving twice a day so maybe that beard finally gets going.


Dumbledoordash8008

I wanna stick a pencil in my ear and rewind myself like VHS tape


tahcamen

You mean cassette tape


Dumbledoordash8008

You can rewind a VHS tape too


shaman_of_ramen

True, but you're gonna need a pretty big pencil


1RatQueen1

But can you fit that one in your ear?


shaman_of_ramen

Well first of all, through God, all things are possible, so jot that down Edit: This is a quote from IASIP. Just a joke, damn


stalphonzo

Why do motherfuckers think it's OK to post shit like this publicly with their real name? Who do they think is reading it?


daskeleton123

They think everyone agrees with them secretly


HappyMeatbag

Yeah. They don’t think it’s *wrong,* just that it’s not socially acceptable to discuss openly.


robilar

He thinks it's the truth. If anything, I imagine he thinks he is brave for telling the truth in the face of "woke" culture that is peddling lies. It's like how racist assholes think their bigoted stereotyping is a reflection of reality, so they aren't ashamed to mouth off about it.


HotShitBurrito

Yup. So many of them think that everyone feels the same way but are just too scared to say it. "Oh I'm just saying what we're all thinking". No dude, you're an antisocial wack job. Unfortunately, there are people that do agree with them and thanks to social media they've all found a way to hangout and amplify the delusions.


Akitten84

Ummm barf and no, my teenager daughter smells like BO most of the time..


The_Proper_Potato

I remember back in high school we couldn’t afford expensive parfume brands (plus we still had a more childish taste) so we all wore Victoria’s Secret perfumes and cheap body sprays. Those are all smell very sweet scented, and often reminiscent of vanilla or candy. That’s probably what he’s smelling. Teeenage girls definitely don’t naturally smell of vanilla and sugar, it’s the cheap body sprays marketed to them smell that way. And as we get older, our tastes in perfume change, and we can usually afford better stuff, which is more subtle and has more complex scents.


PoisonTheOgres

I think he probably noticed that teen girls tend to wear cheap and extremely sweet scents. Girls' shower products are all fruity or smell like a candy store. And then he thought teenage girls just smell like that naturally. A disgusting, perverted *moron*.


[deleted]

LOL. I had the same thought. I picked up my neighbor's daughters from school and I was like, "damn, did y'all eat a lot of cumin today? Open the damn window."


ebagjones

I think they’re describing a Werther’s Original.


Shadows798

Nice observation.


ebagjones

Thank you!


scottyleeokiedoke

When I was 16 I definitely smelled like greasy hair and B.O.


Shadows798

Same. Tried to cover it with strawberry scented deodorant.


shavednuggets

Man.. here I thought I was a creep but this guy has re validated my good guy card


Hawker_Hunter123

For those wondering, yes, this man was a UK Conservative politician


StevenTheFancyVance

![gif](giphy|4baoNZ5Qo8dX2)


Modesto_Strangler

If they do, it’s because they use those bath products called Birthday Cake or Sugar Cookie or Gingerbread House or whatever. Dude could just buy some of those for his 28-year-old girlfr... nevermind.


ZeppoBro

Like, are fedoras cursed? If you put one on, do you instantly start saying m'lady?


expontherise

Id say try it and see but i dont bleieve its worth the risk


ZeppoBro

Then a duster and katana will just manifest around me and the transformation shall be complete.


AffenMitWaffen2

You forgot the mountain dew.


ShamusLovesYou

Mom buys the Mountain Dew.


AffenMitWaffen2

Fair enough.


Marshall_Filipovic

As someone who likes classy hats, mainly because i think 1890-1950s clothing is cool and honestly superior, i say.... How dare you.


SFAwesomeSauce

No, how dare the creeps for tainting such clothing with their Cheetos stained hand-sausages. They've done irreparable damage to the classic clothing's reputation.


Marshall_Filipovic

Aye, I can agree to that.


ilongforyesterday

Idk who this dude is but if y’all are ever around this guy, make sure you sprint a mile and don’t wear deodorant


TrewPac

A British Tory MP


nivlark

He's not an MP. He's a five-times unsuccessful candidate in local government elections. There are however six Conservative MPs that have either been suspended or resigned over sexual harassment or abuse offences in the past year.


TrewPac

Cheese mate. Fucking Tory scum


EliFrakes

I'd say just kick him in the dick


greenalbatross1

What in the actual fuck! What a fucking CREEP!


Tammycles

Teenagers should absolutely sniff other teenagers!


ZCSApollo

and if you’re going to sniff someone, sniff a consenting adult


dbcooper1982

Well now that's some real serial killer shit right there.


iamalext

Well that profile picture pretty much says it all…


chalupacabra19

TIL magnetic smell


ShamusLovesYou

Seriously most people tend to reach a point where all they smell like is a roll of nickles.


jperiodcarter

Logging out now.


The420shortbus

I've only been up for 2 hours and that's enough internet for the day.


bloody_terrible

This dumbfuck juice addict doesn’t understand the concept of perfume.


Shadows798

Adults wear perfume. I think the difference is in WHAT perfume they're wearing. Adults go for more floral scents most of the time, while teens like to wear stuff that smells like cupcakes and chocolate. At least, this is what both my sister and I did.


bloody_terrible

That’s my point though. Young women don’t necessarily inherently smell „creamy, buttery, slightly sweet… very magnetic“, it’s probably just some vanilla coconut moisturizer that’s popular with the kids, but this idiot thinks it’s an evolutionary reason for him to be a creep.


Lessllama

Ewwww


Southern-Toe5605

and of course it's an old creep who's saying that. I hope he doesn't have children.


upstate007

Imagine writing that and thinking it's perfectly fine to say.


HappyMeatbag

I don’t want to and you can’t make me


yakultjapa

Only smell I know is a "gamers" one. It's sour, salt, racist, misogynist and in(side of)cell. Sometimes can smell like a domestic terrorist.


MoonerandJuner

Bro that’s American Eagle Perfume!


mawfqjones

Is this guy on a list? Cause he needs to be on a list.


daskeleton123

It gets worse when you realise this guy is in politics. A member of the Conservative party of course


AaAAAa6969AAAAAAAA

Say your a pedophile without saying your a pedophile


Seisme1138

vomit


Terry_Eats_A_Banana

What the fuck


dawnface42069

Woah this person really went out there and smelled every woman between 28 and 16


Thepaperbagg

Yes officer, this guy right here.


Brilliant-Engineer57

How old are you perv? Also smells only in your head dumbass.


Nar0O

Did he smell 16 year old girls? ![gif](giphy|jmSjPi6soIoQCFwaXJ)


Ambitious-Theory9407

Maybe it's because they're still addicted to the body spray and fruity lotion crap? As you get older, you lean more towards the unscented stuff.


caitafers

Yeah that's their berry body spray from Claire's you pedophile.


3amcheeseburger

This was a tweet by a Conservative Party Town Councillor in the UK. People actually voted for this fucking creep. Also, imagine writing this, and thinking ‘ah yes, this needs to be said. Definitely nothing weird in writing this.’ Like wtf


Bridge-etti

That’s not a woman…that’s a croissant 🥐


Kellidra

I smelled like sweat and BO when I was 16, so fuck you. It's nice that a pedophile will convince himself that he has a reason to be a prdophile. Oh, oh it's the *girl's* fault. She smells *magnetic.* You know he wanted to write "8 to 14" instead.


[deleted]

Pedophile say's what?


AuxillarySkammy

Wtf


yourprincessdie

now i'm gonna pass on that


LumpCentipede5

What the fuck..


Phrozenstare

this post right here officer


GadgetGod1906

Get the cops on this guy. He is telling on himself


Lfseeney

Running for office on GOP ticket somewhere.


International_Jay

Why protect this jackass’s account and identity


Bigdrewp

Now, where did I put my wood chipper?


Grass_Onions

![gif](giphy|H3upGMAE4p3iw)


256dak

This reads like Ben Shapiro making a satirical Joe Biden tweet


mjkjg2

I’m no expert, but I’d say at least 2 of the years within the given range are under the age of consent


Gzmester

undercover smelling hat, i guess this is a trend started by D trump?


Individual_Hearing_3

![gif](giphy|8OPsobKv6ksJojld4X)


GrimWill95

How is someone typing that and going "Yeah, this is fine."


ginandtonicqueen

Someone call Chris Hansen


Jkj864781

That’s their body odour, it’s gross Source: have daughters