T O P
uh60chief

In high school, city bus ride home a girl “fell” into my lap when the bus hit a pothole. Her ass bounced on my lap, instant chub. She looks back at me and says, “oh hey…. -giggle-“ My dumb fuck face said, “damn your heavy.” I still wish her “heavy” ass was still falling on my lap repeatedly.


princevince1113

Of all the things to say


BADDEST_RHYMES

Holy fuck, I bet she still thinks about this too!


Smarpar

Oh god, that would have made me cry if I were her hahaha


uh60chief

Jokes on her, I cry about it every time I think about it


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ChintanP04

Crush is temporary, Halo is forever.


NoArmsSally

no no Halo is Infinite edit: y'all, quit using awards on me lol. Go spend your money on something else, like a game with a finished campaign.


HamezRodrigez

Ayyy


quarrywilson

*"he's one shot!"*


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tedturdburger

Up as in erect?


kdee5849

Ha in this case it was awake. She'd been over earlier in the night with a couple friends, so that sort of constrained things. She apparently wanted to come back. SLEPT THROUGH THE ENTIRE THING.


-_-tinkerbell

Lmaoo I had this exact situation happen with a guy I liked also in 2011 except the other way around


kdee5849

HAH I got so concerned it was you until I checked your profile and realized in 2011 I was 21 but you would have been 15. So, no, you're not her. But now that we got checking THAT out of the way that's hilarious.


tpihkal

Now kiss, anyways.


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TheLowlyPheasant

You're the kind of guy who wins $50 at a casino and declares it on his tax return


Karmasita

Idk why this comment cracked me the fuck up.


Cautious-Mushroom77

Same, I laughed so loud I woke my dog up.


Bobi2point0

Oooo self burn


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MilesPrower1992

What SHOULD you say? Like, what can you say without making it awkward?


bigbongtheory69

"Do you want to see my glitter stick?"


RadleyB2B

Damn someone get this bloke a Delorean so he can right this wrong with this pearler 😂


fuzzthegreatbambino

“I dunno. Try something and I’ll tell you if I like it.”


PrimitiveAlienz

she punches you in your face "well did you like it?"


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UFCLO

The lesson is to always ask a date if they were in drama club when they went to high school. Clear indicator I swear.


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choice_crystal_clear

Ummm what the heck did I I just read?


HealthyBox5

GIRL BIT MY BUTT


choice_crystal_clear

MR BUTTLICKER, OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER!


Smooth-Lengthiness57

My older sisters really really hot friend came over when my sister wasn't home and asked for a massage. She turned mid massage so her boob was in my hand. I apologized and continued the massage and then went to play RuneScape.


Nocturne_Zombie

Fuck man, I had two friends that were girls that took me home after school, one joked about having a threesome and the other didn't say anything. Got them both into my room and decided to show them that we had some flying squirrels living in the roof/wall area by banging on my wall and listening to them scramble. They ran out... I didn't get laid that day...


yung_errbek

The only banging that happened in the room was the traumatization of an innocent family of flying squirrels


yer--mum

Was at a sleepover at my buddy's house, watching a movie and this super hot girl offers to share her blanket with me, at which point she places her hand on my thigh and is just once every 69 seconds moving it an inch closer to my dick. It was way more erotic than I'm making it sound. I was so nervous that I stood fully chubbed up, asked my buddy to step into the other room with me. I whisper-yell something along the lines of "bro she has her hand on my thigh she's gonna touch my dick, what do I do??" I was a virgin at the time in my defense, but I have no idea what answer I was looking for, to be honest I think I just kinda pussied out lmao. Anyway I look behind me and the girl in question is peeking her head around the corner to eavesdrop on what I was saying, justifiably so I'd say. I look back at my buddy, who looks at her and says "were you touching my buddy's dick?" No idea why he would say such a thing, purely out of reflex and embarrassment I punched him in his arm. Long story short I embarrassed the shit out of her and she wanted nothing to do with me afterward. Her friend asked her if it was true and she said "No! I was pinching his leg!!" Which thankfully for me was a weak lie to tell, no one believed it. She was so beyond out of my league, I live in confusion and regret about it, but it actually makes me feel better that there are people like you who were similarly nervous, thanks for sharing lmao. Edit 1: [Here's a (censored) picture of the girl I found on Facebook so you can feel my regret](https://youtu.be/iik25wqIuFo) Edit 2: I was reminded of a few details I forgot to add. I appreciate all of your stories! They're real fun to read, and like I said it helps me feel a little less remorseful about it. Edit 3: The movie was Devil, horror movie set entirely in an elevator where the lights will go out and someone in the elevator dies, and one of the people in the elevator killed them, but nobody knows who it was and they're all crammed in that small space. (Spoilers, it was the Devil)


spaceguitar

I can’t help but imagine your friend all super aggressive and being all, “No one touches my buddy’s dick but **me**!” 😂


yer--mum

L M F A O I plan to show him the replies to the story in the morning, I think he'll get a kick out of this one that's hilarious.


_JonSnow_

Hahah this was fun to read. You don’t realize how often this happens to other guys until you do. You still friends with this buddy? Fantastic question in the moment


yer--mum

I am! It comes up occasionally but we tend to frame it as "the time he mega cock blocked me for no reason" But like I said I kinda did it to myself, if I wanted it to happen I wouldn't have gotten up and told him in the first place lmao


Ultimatemegasuperba

as a virgin, I'm deeply disappointed of your buddy


PussyBoogersAuGraten

I don’t know if this will help, but back in the day I used to play in a rock band. We were doing pretty good at the time and we had a show in CT. This ridiculously hot girl took a liking to me at the show. She hung out with me all night, showed me her tits in the bathroom, and basically made it seem like it was only a meter of time until we could leave that place and fuck. So the show ends and I ask her if she wants to come back to my hotel, fully expecting her to say yes, and she just casually says no, and we say our goodbyes. If I would have been a little younger and pussied out, I would, to this day, think I ruined my chances with her. But the reality was that it never was going to happen. I don’t know if that helps, but your story made me think of that time.


BokZeoi

Ahh she just wanted to flirt lol


Aliguar

good choice. runescape is more valuable than boob.


JeselAvlis

Accidentally touch one boob irl, and that's it. Get a skill cape in agility in runescape, touch any amount of boobs.. heck, get 99 in crafting, make your own boobs..


WickedTinker

Dear Penthouse forum... I never thought this would happen to me...


Negative-Ad-4371

When a girl I really liked asked me when I was 14 if my lips were soft? I said I don't know, and ran away.


DazedAndCunfuzzled

Based. Touched boob and played RS, win win


gin_and_toxic

On the right path to wizardry


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BabymakerGspot

bro i’m sorry


sadman4332

It’s alright I have a gf now


TermsOfServiceOnion

The good ending


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Ultimatemegasuperba

damn


read_eng_lift

That's rough buddy.


VaguelyFamiliarVoice

Girl I liked sang me a song about love, in front of the school, at an assembly, and I just sat there and did nothing about it.


Mundit00

I fumbled many embarrassing times man but come on


VaguelyFamiliarVoice

About 4 years after high school another friend ran into her and reported back to me that she was fucking hot. My D&D playing self had to wait another decade for a hot girl to want me. (Grad of 1986)


SnoopingStuff

That’s committed. Never ever found her since and said something?


TheTrueFlexKavana

Now she's out there crawling into bed tickling this guy.


_JonSnow_

Hahahah this made me laugh so hard


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Guuple

She's so heavy


GangsterFap

The only word left in the song not typed is 'babe.' Babe.


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Rodaris

I had something similar happen to me back when I was Was in high school. Except her response was “wow my dick would be so much bigger than yours”.


SexualWhiteChocolate

Lmaoooo what the fuck do you say back to that? "Yep..."


L1v3_F33d

W, but sadly an L


IceComprehensive6440

Had a hot girl at a bonfire sit in my lap. Later that night she asked me to walk down to the near by lake with her. At which point she stripped down to her bra and panties and jumped in. Some how I still didn’t get the hints.


danbrown_notauthor

You were smart. You’ve seen enough horror movies to know how that scenario ends!


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Talking_Head

WTF Bruh‽


Diatain

rest in peace


HamezRodrigez

Bruh moment


-day-dreamer-

Reverse spoon? You mean she big spooned?


Sorsuen

Maybe they were back-to-back?


WilominoFilobuster

96


lifeofjeb2

When I was 22 I ran into an old crush that I had in grade 3, she immediately started telling me how good looking I grew to be and I asked her to hang out and she said yeah pick me up at 10. I picked her up and we went for a 2 hour drive and I got tired of driving and didn’t see a way I could kiss her so I just parked at her house and waited for her to leave because I thought she wasn’t interested. It’s now 4am and she’s asking me to touch a ‘bump’ on her chest that she was worried about, i touched her chest and said oh that’s nothing i can’t even feel a bump. She says are you sure have another feel, I feel again and basically repeat what I first said. Then she says well okay I guess it’s late I should get going. I wish her goodnight and go on my way. Fuck me man.


Bobi2point0

The last sentence you wrote should've been said by either one of you in hopes to save that night


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nofucksgiven_bitch

If a guy did that he would have been branded as a creep right away at least in my country


CNE_Spooders

I feel like in any country


SirLesbian

To me this just seems like the difference between being attractive and being ugly. If the girl in the story had been unattractive chances are he'd have been super weirded out. But she was cute...totally different!


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MagixTurtle

No time for bitches when you're raiding.


MissionCreeper

For every person who gets reminded of their past obliviousness from posts like these, I wonder if it's balanced out by high school kids reading these threads and picking up on hints they would have otherwise missed.


Oshebekdujeksk

Maybe one or two, but these aren’t failures of logic. This is fear and clumsy foolishness attacking the rational centers of your brain so that you traumatically embarrass yourself.


MtTrashCan28

I’m taking notes here!


Unlikely-Answer

*scribbles ferociously on hand*


SponJ2000

*masturbates with hand* *ink now smudged*


aufrenchy

*ink now on dick* *oh god oh no what do I do?!*


acg8822

I’ve spent about an hour reading everyone else’s stories. I keep saying the next one is the last one and that hasn’t worked out.


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Prtty_Plz

bro this story got me busting up laughing


tedturdburger

Same, holy shit


NerdyRedneck45

“Awe guys, you made me ink!”


Extreme-Fee-9029

Larry farts in defense mode * IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!


SponJ2000

\* Older sister's friend is confused! \* \* Older sister's friend fled! \*


Zlatanabingbong2002

This made me choke on my food bruh 💀


SassyHoe97

Ah noo this made me laugh.


VoyagerCSL

Sounds like you may have turtled in more ways than one.


Bodhi-rips

Bro, this one. (Begins a slow clap)


a_in_pa

College me (M) studying for an Astronomy exam with an attractive girl from class, in my dorm room. After a while we take a break and small talk happens. She mentions that she just had her nipples pierced and asked me if i wanted to see. I said "no thanks, gotta get back to studying". Pretty sure I could've gotten laid right then and there, didn't see the obvious signs.


kdee5849

Ha a girl did this to me in college, actually showed me them, and was like do you want to touch them? And I was like wait are you sure? I assume they're probably still sensitive! I can just look.


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PhazoniteX

Oh noooo lmao


Bobi2point0

... how


xubax

When a woman asks you to dance, asks you to coffee, or offers to show you her nipples, the answer is always "yes. "


NerdyRedneck45

I was an astro major at PSU. Pretty sure I’d have reacted similarly. No time for titties.


ElOsoPicoso

Story time, back when I was a wee lad (15-16). I had 2 chicks invite me to a hot tub one night while I was vacationing with my family at a resort. Me being the oblivious goof I was at the time. We get in and I immediately started challenging them to hold your breath contest, doing a handstand, etc missing ALL of their advances (real obvious ones too). The ladies picking up that I wasn’t catching on to their hints remembered I mentioned I had a puppy with me at my room and asked to come to my room to see him and my room wink wink etc etc. So we go up to my spot, and I tell them to wait outside right quick (because I’m not trying to introduce everybody to everybody). I check on Rambo and he’s fast asleep so I come back out and tell them sorry he’s asleep and waking him up would be rude, high fived both the chicks and thank’d them for a dope time and told them to be safe going back to their spots. Went inside and started munching on some ramen, and it was at that moment I knew. . . I fucked up. lol


ZootZootTesla

That sheer realisation as he's engulfing a bowl of ramen is what got me.


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Badabrench01

Sophomore year of college I had a thing for this girl who used to roll in similar circles that I would see at parties or the bar. One day me and my 4 roommates throw a party of our own. As it’s winding down shes one of the last few ppl there. I don’t put any thought to it. I go to my room to chill before I go to bed. A few minutes later she comes into my room and goes “I’m kind of tired, where do you think I can sleep?” And I go “you can probably use one of the couches, I don’t think anyone else will be using them.” i cringe thinking back to it. what the hell was I thinking? it doesn’t get much clearer of a sign than that she was interested in hooking up but I was beyond oblivious and it didn’t cross my mind until after she left. I’ve never forgiven myself. I ended up sloppily making out with her drunk at a bar years later long after we had graduated. So that was slight redemption which was nice.


Lukemeister38

One time in high school this girl on my bus asked me "Do boys get a boner when a girl sits on their lap?" to which I responded "You're asking the wrong guy." before going back to playing games on my phone.


purpleblah2

In college, a girl in one of my classes kept turning around in her seat and staring at me really intently and I thought “why is she staring at me so much? Better avoid eye contact.”


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myrevenge_IS_urkarma

Same situation but Psych class. I too tutored. It was YEARS later before it dawned on me. Still smacking my head.


Martin321421

About 5-6 years back now, my parents were on vacation, so i threw a little "house party" with my friends. I liked this one girl in my friend group very much (hell still have a crush on her today) At the end of the night i showed everyone where they could sleep. The girl i liked was like:"Well, i guess you and i sleep in your bed?" I said "sure" I gave her a shirt of mine and we got into my bed. You wanna know what i did? Nothing! I think i was too nervous or something. She even said she was cold while we were in bed (trust me it was really warm in my room that day) The best part a few years later i spoke with a female friend of her and she told me that she liked me back, but gave up after some time If any girl reads this, we boys are idiots, if you like us tell us and never give up


nujuat

Wait if you still like her then why not bring it up with her?


Bobi2point0

Didn't you read? Us boys are idiots.


sSyler14

probably thinks it's too late since the friend said she gave up


onzalitu

is she single now?


Utkarsh_Goel

Mah boi wanna squeeze every opportunity


onzalitu

LMFAO I now realized how it sounded. I only asked cuz if she is, then he should shoot his shot lol


Anonymous37

[12 years later, I realized …](http://patheticgeekstories.com/archives/page8/tutorseduction.html)


FitRepresentative851

watching a soccer game with a girl is was talking to, she says i'm cold and my dumbass with two sweatshirts on goes dang me too. Edit:this was 3 months ago


spaceguitar

I used to work in hotels. One night a flight attendant came into my restaurant during closing to have a glass of wine. She hung around my counter and kept mentioning how she had clams that evening, how she was bored, and how fortunate she was for not having to share her room. I wished her goodnight and slid out the back. Another time at another job, I had a regular who would come in for coffee and just hang out. One time she brought cookies just “for me.” I shared them with my staff in front of her. Another time, a girl insisted on showing me all the K-pop dances she knew at a party. She started doing all the sexy girl band dances. I told her that was cool and got another beer. Yep. I am not a smart or observant man.


AdRelative6926

I jumped into the bumper car of a guy I was crushing on and he thought I was weird for not wanting my own. Come to find out, he was wanting to impress me with his “bumper car skills” (his words). I married him.


BananaBR13

Awwww


Asura_2002

Looks like it worked then. Mad skills bruv


Ultimatemegasuperba

lol that escalated quickly


AntiCaesar

Oh yeah I 100% get him. It's so much more fun when everybody is in their own bumper car


beckett_the_ok

r/Unexpected


w0nd3rm0nk3y

Wise man once said, “He who hesitates, masturbates.”


poesomesugaronme

Was talking to a girl at the bar. It was getting late and I had to work, bummed because we had a good convo. She turned to me and said, “What can I do to get you to stay?” I said, “Nothing, I have work” and left. It didn’t hit me until the next day


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Ryubalaur

Tbh if I were sleeping peacefully and someone started tickling me out of the blue I would be incredibly pissed.


AcceptableReaction20

There was this chick I would hang around with my friends and one day we were smoking and I end up in the bathroom with this girl and she was like "fuck me" and I played it off like I wasn't interested. I was convinced she had aids, health class had me trippin


Altruistic_Piano_259

When I was in high school , 2 girls wanted me to buy them some booze and when I dropped it off one of the girls was dropping subtle hints that she wanted me to stay but I was so hyper focused on getting to a party that night .. In hindsight I think that was a potential 3 some moment that never came again… infinity amounts of regret..


ChuChu--

Lol that is my boyfriend. I invited him over (no parents were home) Put a scary movie on so I could cuddle up against him. I dimmed the lights, in case he wanted to make a move. When the movie ended, I looked at him. I got quiet, started to flutter my eyes and hoped he would make a move. Then he goes, “well I guess I better go before your parents come home.” I rolled my eyes, and kissed him. The next time I invited him over, I dimmed the light, started a random ass movie, sat on his lap, and made out with him. He tells me how he regrets not making the first move. Lol I love him


Bobi2point0

Adorable 10/10 good on you for getting the guts to jump the gun haha


Hilde2348

Sophomore year of college had one of the hottest girls in my grade alone in my room playing CoD Zombies. At one point she throws both her legs across mine and says she’s not very good at this. I said that’s fine we can just start over so you can practice. My roommate comes back later all hyped and asks what happened and I tell him “we got to level 10.” He goes “what does that mean!?” We got to level 10 in zombies and after like 2 hours she left. I think about this atleast once a year.


ChabbaMabba

Bruh 💀


Loki_TDD

I know this mans pain I worked as a chef many moons ago, when I was about 18, took my hat off after a shift one night and a waitress I had a crush on and I had this conversation Her: your hair is wild Me: this is nothing you should see it when I get out of bed Her: ok! Me: haha I’ll see you tomorrow, don’t work too hard 8 years later it dawned on me.


notrudyyy

Man the pain. Atleast i know what to look out for thanks to the sacrifices of your generation. Take this silver which hopefully helps a bit.


apairofparrots

Reddit: “Why can’t I find a girlfriend?” Also Reddit: this thread.


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Youknowwhoitsme

Similar Thing happened to me! Age 18, on my way home kind of early since i had to study. Pass a cigarette vending machine and there's a group in front of it. So this beautiful girl asks me for help. She was perfect to me! Just my type and had all the little things that I liked AND she apparently liked me as well, which is and was not an every day thing for me! We talk a bit, laugh a bit and she says she ows me for helping her. She touches my arm, my hip, smiles at me and asks If i wanna join them! I said I couldn't because - studying! So she asks "what now, then?" Her friend (m) who tried to help us says "Well, how bout exchanging numbers..?!" Idiot me thought he meant him and me, and i answered "nah, i'm good, thanks!" and walked away wishing them a good evening! Not even 5 min later it dawned on me and i seriously thought about sprinting back! I know, for some that might Not have been a big deal but I think about it quite often even now, 14 years later


Hello-funny-posts

If you had sprinted back it would have been absolutely hilarious and you probably could’ve gone on a date with her depending on how you handled the upcoming conversation after sprinting.


Jimmah3000

I used to clock out for lunch and drive to the nearby Popeyes..I had just enough time to get there, get back and shove fried bird parts into my face while sitting in my car...one day on my way out this pretty 20 year old girl that worked in another department stopped me and said "Did you just clock out for lunch?..me too! We should eat together!" But since I only had so much time and I was in a hurry, I just said "No! I'm going to Popeyes!!!" And I ran passed her. But, happy ending..we are married now and she brings that shit up ALL THE TIME..When we were still dating I took her to Kings Dominion for her birthday and won her a stuffed animal...and this bitch said.."I'm going to name him Popeyes!"...fucking smart-ass. Anyways, the moral of the story is if she really likes you, she will try again...and then constantly remind you about that time 5 years ago when you "Chose Popeyes over me"


BallsOutKrunked

I was hanging with an ex when her (bi) and her new gf hopped into the jacuzzi in their underwear. They told me to hop in. I didn't have swim clothes or a towel so I said no and sat in a pool chair while they made out for a bit. Yep.


Ill-Intention8170

In high school, lost my v-card w a girl I thought was out of my league and 2 school years ahead of me. Little did I know it could’ve been so much better. We weren’t in an official relationship or anything… trying to keep it ‘chill’. I got a couple interesting snapchats, her and her best friend (also super hot and older) going shopping and coming out with a big ole freezer bag of rubbers. Well the one I slept with invited me over when her parents were gone, I show up and her bff is there too. We basically just hung out (really pretty awkward) but then we put a movie on (that all of us had already seen, + 7 awkwardness). Keep in mind we’re watching the movie in this girls’ bed. Well the girl couldn’t keep her hands off me and I was so concerned, I mean it felt so rude when her best friend was sitting in the same bed! Little did my innocent brain know, but she was trying her best to initiate a 3 way… If I’d have known then what I know now…


whadduppeaches

Ok but honest question...what are guys thinking when stuff like this happens?? Like, sure, girls could be more straightforward. But also, what else would that be a signal for?


read_eng_lift

Guys are so unbelievably literal, especially when they are nervous. His mind thought about being tickled, and it didn't seem like a good idea. The question never went deeper into his cognition.


TehJohnny

It's pretty much: "Oh god, please don't get a boner!" when you're younger. Like I had a girl I liked lean back into my lap while watching a movie, using me like a cushion, it should have been fine, but it was the most stressful time of my life as a teenage boy. I'm sure there are guys who will tell you how alpha they are and didn't go through the awkward teenage puberty phase, but they're full of it.


Bobi2point0

I was brutally honest about how I felt or what was happening and it ended being in my favour more often than not. Had a girl sit in my lap on a train and I straight up told her that she's going to get me hard if she keeps shifting around and she just starts wiggling her butt faster. Dated for 2 years. Hope she's doing well.


NautiBard

I have been told my whole life that all men are disgusting creeps. As one who has been a man for longer than I can remember, I do everything I can to avoid any appearance of creepiness. Therefore, you could signal me with fireworks that spell out "Wanna go on a romantic date with me?" while a holding a boom box above your head blaring "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston, and I would assume that you are only looking for a friend.


nickystotes

I can’t speak for everyone, but when I was 20 me and a group of people were playing a card game and a attractive girl was laughing at all my jokes and we were both getting pretty handsy. After a few hours I thought “fuck it, imma shoot my shot” and moved in for a kiss. Happy playful quickly turned to disgust and nightlong avoidance. I was in the military at the time, so the thought of was always in my head “did I just sexually harass her and not realize it?” Sexual harassment charges in the military were pretty much game over, even more so for young enlisted. Ever since then I’ve always erred on caution and if there’s a 99% chance she’s flirting but 1% that’s she’s just being goofy and living her best life, I’m going to let let live her best life and not risk a case.


GoldenSandpaper9

Tickle fight obviously


HashBrwnz

About twelve years ago I went to this party. Hit it off with this hot chick thats waaay outa my league, and she says shes gona go bake some cookies or something in the kitchen. Then asked if I could help, after scanning the room and seeing no one else in the kitchen I go along with her. The entire time shes bending over to get things directly in front of me. Heck even to put the cookies in the oven an extreme bend over. Sometimes backing up close to my junk. I didnt event realize what was going on until later that night, after the party was over. So I got her number from a friend and texted her later that week, were now coming up on our 10th year wedding anniversary. Edit- Wife informed me it was rolls not cookies. They were still good.


EmergencySnail

I (m) in my teenage years was utterly clueless about anything sexual. I recall two incidents of girls basically throwing themselves at me and I did absolutely nothing about it. Looking back (now in my 40s) one of them I was indifferent about, but I could have possibly had a relationship with... the other? I screwed that one up royally... I could have made something of that had I not been such an idiot... Guys... If a girl takes an interest to you, just effing go for it... you never know where that might take you


[deleted]

the girl's version: when I was in high school, there was this guy who I though was really cute and we had a sleepover, and I was totally DTF, so I started tickling him and he was all, "well, time for bed"


dott2112420

A wise old man told me ounce, when you get old and start to die, you do not think of your life and love and children. No, you only think about the sex you missed out on. I think that would be hell.


deeznutz066

OMG. I really liked this guy in high school and he invited me over to his house to study. I was kinda nerdy and smart, so super surprised he was inviting me over because no guys were into me. So I break out the books and start, you know, studying next to him in his room. He kisses my cheek and then my mouth and I'm so nervous and surprised, I just threw my books into my bag was like "gotta get home for dinner". And then I left. I blame my more experienced friends for not cluing me into the fact that studying was code for making out.


tamerenshorts

It isnt. I had the opposite experience from everyone here. Girl in HS invited me to study after school when here parents were supposedly not home. I'd been told by my nerdy teenage boy friends - a real reliable source on sexual matters - that it was code for making out. I had a secret crush on her. She asked me to check her home work, I leaned over her to see her sheet. She looked me in the eyes with a (awkward) smile so I made a move, I thought I would be super suave and sensual running my hand in her hair at the back of her head and enlacing her, getting my tongue out -because that's how we French kiss right?- closed in on her mouth... Well her parents were home. She screemed and punched me. Turns out I was just good at math. We spent the last years of HS avoiding each other and I was "that creepy nerd who thought he had a chance with the hot girl". This was the early 90s. Her father just laughed it off, I got the stinky eye from her mother and shame at school for a year or so. I'm so glad I wasn't born 20 years later, I'd probably be on the sex offender list.


Award-Slight

My(F) best friend (also F) once offered to help me do a breast check for cancer in Highschool after I told her that I read that we were supposed to start testing for it in our late teens. She also offered to teach me how to kiss properly because I told her that I was nervous and that I wouldn’t know how to do it when I finally started dating. I mentioned it to my parents saying that she was such a good friend. She ended up being my first kiss a year later when we actually started going out, but it took a while for me to notice that she really liked me lol.


Regan-Spor

As a teen I never missed a signal. I just turned them all down because I was a good Christian man and I wasn't going to be led astray by a Jezebel. Needless to say I blame my parents.


fluffybeetle

Just out of college, I slept upright in a chair rather than get into the bed with my extreme crush who was asking me to come to bed.


mementori

Why’d you do that?


Wogopi

If I knew where you lived I would break into your house, slap you in the face, feel bad, apologize, give you $20, and then run out


chase-caliente

In fifth grade, a girl tried to kiss me and I slapped her. I don't regret it because I didn't like her anyway. But it's kind of haunting that I never saw her after middle school. Never found her on social media either.


Bobi2point0

But she sees you. She knows your social media.


Themusicison

Happened to me a few times all with girls I had crushes on.. I still think about it..


Toni164

I turned down two girls for an asexual girl that would never date me


Oshebekdujeksk

This was my problem. Always focused on the unattainable.


RepentToday

When I was in highschool I did nothing, had a boring 4 years, and then graduated. The end.


AprilFoolsDaySkeptic

Ayyyy i know that feeling


Bdriver_1976

A beautiful woman was eyeing me at the bar when I was in my early 20s. After a while she came up to me and sweetly said "Soooo?" while batting her eyes. I responded smiling "Sew buttons on your underwear!" She looked at me like I just told her I shit my pants and walked off.


kenjhunter

lol why is your line so random


TroyandAbed304

Dude I heard that growing up in the 90s


gin_and_toxic

Are you the beautiful woman at the bar?!?


TroyandAbed304

Im sure I was a beautiful woman at a bar a few times- but definitely not in the 90s! 😆


Rogan403

In high school a girl I liked came over to hang out. We chilled for a bit and then the topic of massages came up and I told her I was pretty decent at them. So she demands one and goes down to my room and gets ready for one. At this point I didn't know the clothes etiquette for women getting massages. Figured that bras stayed on just like the underwear does. Came down to find her with nothing but panties on face down on the bed. I was really excited but nervous too when I saw that but kept it in check and played it cool. So I give her the standard full massage and figure I'm done. She says I gotta massage her while on her back too as that's what pros do and proceeded to flip over without any extra covering. Now I'm really nervous/ excited and continue to give her the rest of a normal massage. But then she tells me I need to massage her tits too. My first boob experience. I tell her I'm done after a bit and will give her some privacy to go shower and get dressed. She then literally tells me I could come help her if I wanted. I was so nervous/nieve that I told her I wanted to respect her privacy and not take advantage of her and ran upstairs. She comes up about half hour later dressed and tells me that I'm not taking advantage and starts making out with me hard. But I'm still so nervous about overstepping that I keep my hands and mouth above the belt line even after her shirt and bra come off again. We fuck around like that for about 3.5 hours until she get a call from her dad telling her he's on his way to pick her up and will be there in ten. So we continue making out but after about 5 mins she puts her hands down my pants and starts stroking me and inquires why I didn't fuck her at all. I told her i honestly didn't think she wanted me to go that far and didn't wanna scare her off by trying to push my luck. Her dad literally pulls up at this point so she tells me now I'll know for the next time she comes over. She moved 10 hours away later that month cause of family issues. My awkwardness of that day still haunts me despite it being half a lifetime ago.


Bobi2point0

This one hurts but is also cute, sweet of you to say that to her.


Living-Stranger

I had a girl I had a huge crush on ask me to rub her shoulders, then she said we can go to her bedroom so I could do her whole back, then it was let me take off this shirt oh and can you undo my bra? Here I am as a high schooler going insane trying to control the problem in my pants then after 15-20 minutes I said I need to use the bathroom to pee and when I came out she was of course dressed. I was a very dumb kid and still have no idea when a woman is hitting on me.


Affectionate_Cod2032

When I was in high school I bought a giant cotton candy flavored lollipop and one of my hot friends asked if she could try it. She proceeded to suck on it sexually and give me the look. I told her she could keep it and bought another. Too young and too dumb to realize what was going on.


bOObZiLLa713

My friend got me to go out with him and his girlfriend so I could keep his girlfriends friend company. So while we’re out at a game room and go kart track my buddy calls me over and tells me that this chick is saying she wants to do more with me. I’m like “bro I’m kissing her with my tongue what the hell else you want me to do?” (I was a full blown virgin at the time) He said finger her or something… so I did and as we was leaving he asked if I did the deed “I reluctantly said yes and that I think she fuckin pissed on my fingers” as I was headed to the restroom to wash the piss off. My friend laughed at me so hard he was in tears and said that’s not piss you idiot!!! That day a huge part of my innocence ceased to exist.


Pranav_La

😭


[deleted]

Reminds me of the time I managed to hang out with the really cute goth girl from high-school. We were staring into each other's eyes while she stroked my hair and asked "so what are we gonna do, about us?" and I said "I don't know but I wanna watch Billy and Mandy" I never saw her again after that, but I did get to watch more Billy and Mandy


im4peace

We had a talent show in college and I played guitar and sang in it freshman year. I lost the talent show and was hella bummed. As I was leaving the auditorium this absolutely gorgeous girl came over and was like "Oh my gosh your song blew me away! Could we go back to my dorm and you could tell me about your inspiration writing it?" I was like, "Oh sorry I'm just really bummed so I'm gonna go back to my room and go to sleep."


project_seven

My biggest crush in high school once told me, "my friend thinks we'd make the cutest couple" and of course i ignored her and changed the subject. She ended up being a model and a cheerleader for the Phoenix Suns. Not making a move has always haunted me.


[deleted]

A girl I liked got her nips pierced when I was a senior and she was a junior. We were at her house alone, in her room, just hanging out and she told me she did it a few days before. She said she had to go pee and went into her bathroom. She came out in nothing but thong panties. Walked right up to me as I was sitting on the bed and said do you like them? I said, uh yeah. She said they are still tender and told me to feel them. So I caressed them a bit and rubbed her nips. Then I said, well they look good. And leaned back waiting to see if she would make a move. She didn’t. She dejectedly went and got dressed. And I immediately realized how big of a moron I was and that whole thing WAS her move and I bitched out. I think about that, a lot.


Synux

An ex called me out of the blue one day. Said she was coming into town and wanted to meet up to blow me. I told her I was too busy with work. I used work to cock block myself.


muckerz

Nah bro - ex's are ex's for a reason - don't beat yourself up on this one


A_Single_Clap

I took the hottest girl in my school to homecoming. She was a senior and I was a sophomore and she asked me. She drove me home that night and invited herself in and sat on my bed. I told her I was tired and gonna go to bed. She then told her friends I had sex with her the next week. It took me yeeeears to realize the magnitude in which I'd fucked up. I think about this on a weekly basis.


jackboyz10thmtn

Bro I feel you in high school had 6 instance when girls way out of my league wanted to hook up but I was not evening paying attention to grasp what was going on to include this hot girl asking me to go to the bathroom with her to “watch” the door then proceed to come out of stall while pulling up her pants then saying oops sorry I know you don’t want any of this or do you? And I panicked slapped her on the ass and left haha