Pfffft, typical capricorn.
By - My_Memes_Will_Cure_U
Of course all Capricorns are this way!!
Wait... he is Taurus??
“Typical. People born under the sign of Taurus tend to…”
“No, you don’t understand. He is *literally* a Taurus. A mid-sized sedan manufactured by Ford that has somehow gained sentience and access to a Twitter account”
“…ok, I’m out.”
well i'll fucking upvote that
And I'll fuck a Taurus. Love me some hot tailpipe
Do you like to rub the cliTaurus?
Yes, with my *pe nisSan*
Honk dirty to me
Y'know, that's actually illegal in some states, believe it or not. US law is wild
That they even needed a law…
Guess someone was caught boinking some rich guy's car or sum
No idea. I’m sure there is a story behind it though. I think they had to do something because some idiot put his thing in pool filters here when I was a kid and he got stuck because of the suction and they had to shut down a whole pool and tear some stuff up and it was a whole thing. Dunno if they made a law of it but they definitely changed some things because of it.
I imagine it’s like that but I can’t imagine what the actual situation itself might have been. I have sooooo many questions.
I'd love to see them enforce it tho. That court case would be wild
It’s all fun and games till it backfires/2 steps
You wouldn't download a car, and fuck it.
The real question is IS IT AN SHO?
Thank you for using the word "literally" in a proper context
I thought he was the gun Taurus with the way he unloaded in that hoeiscope chick.
And I thought they had only rudimentary AI. But come to think of it so does most of this country.
Oh shit, is it the V8 SHO version?
I really like you.
And so the circle begins...
Until its revealed he was actually a Virgo, no wait, scor-, wait capri-, wait _and so on for time immemorial_
> And so the circle begins...
Pfft exactly what you can expect from a Torus
Donut get me started…
Only a Capricorn would act like a Scorpio pretending to be a Virgo.
The stars don’t lie
They just confused af
And they spell disaster for you at Sackerfice!
made me cackle. take my free award
They say all awards are created equal. But you look at your award, and you look at Reddit gold, and you can see that statement is not true!
Yours is better because you didn't have to waste money on it. Thanks!
See normally, if you spend money on gold, you gotta zero percent chance of getting any real value on it. But the helpful award is free, so you got a 25% chance **at best** of wasting it.
Then, you add Mutual Appreciation of Each Other to the mix? Your odds of disappointment drastic go down!
Kurt Angle ***KNOWS*** the he can't beat me, so he's not even going to try
*Kermit the Frog voice*
**IMMA DUDE PLAYING A DUDE DISGUISED AS ANOTHER DUDE**
What do you mean “you people”?
What do *you* mean “you people?”
You must follow the booty sweat trail to find the answers you seek .......
But not before you’ve had a Bust a Nut bar
You’re right I’ve overlooked the matching snack to that beverage
No! You cant have any FUCKING jelly beans!
But only a Gemini would fool everyone twice by ''revealing'' they were a Capricorn acting like a Scorpio pretending to be a Virgio.
That’s some shit only a LEO would say
What's a Law Enforcement Officer got to do with this?
But was does Low Earth Orbit have to do with it?
He's the guy behind the guy, behind the guy!
Bless you for that Swingers reference.
Yep, Capricorn’s are known to be assholes so I’ve been told, I’m a Capricorn.
Capricorn and Scorpio are both shady af.
Plus you don’t know his moon/rising. Or what his sect light is for that matter.
Oh yeah?? Well what sign is in his 5th and 12th house!!
That's exactly what a Caprisun would do!
He’s pretending to be a caprisun he’s actually a scoregoal
WHAT A SAVE!
You're thinking of juice packaged in a foil bag. This is a canadian.
I am a meat popsicle.
That is exactly what a Corbin Dallas would say.
That’s exactly what a flying saucer would say
You're thinking of a citizen of some country in North America. This is a candy corn.
You're thinking of tiny triangles given out on Halloween, this is a card game.
You're thinking of a game played with cards, this is a cantaloupe
I'm an Asparagus
I'm an albatross.
And this is a Wendy’s.
im a wanted criminal in the country of england for burning down multiple buildings in Britain
this is exactly what an asparagus would do.
jokes on you, hes actually a green onion
or is he a parsley pretending to be a green onion pretending to be an asparagus????
The thing about astrology is that you can keep looking for facts about a star sign until you find what your looking for
I see in your future a birthday coming up and tomorrow the sun will rise and the moon will set and the next morning you will be woken by your eyes *while doing mystical hands*
I see in your future that you will have another person that you know. You are also probably introverted or extroverted, and likely have spoken English at one point in your life because you are a cancer
I’m an aquarium
Im a hufflepuff
I’m a Lannister
I’m a registered sex offender.
Legally required to the sex offender shuffle
“Step in the name of love” by R.Kelly
I like turtles
I’m an asparagus
You taste like ass
I’d rather have a ring in nose than gem in eye.
I’d rather have a dick in son
I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
Lol cause of the two spirit shit?
Why censor the name but keep the Twitter handle…?
Yeah that’s what I was wondering
Just another typical thing capricorns do.
It’s because the name was a phone number.
To what? Idk
OP is clearly a Gemini.
It's like that old joke.
"I don't get along with my sisters' boyfriend because I'm a Capricorn, and he's a bellend."
The stars did him dirty
A few years back they tried to bring back the 13th sign, and failed. My birthday falls in the range so now when I'm asked I say I'm an Ophiucus, and then listen to my opinion on astrology come out of their mouth
"That sign is bullshit"
"They just made that up to sell more crap"
"You actually believe *in that?*"
Cracks me up every time.
Dickhead is a universal trait for all zodiacs.
Astrology is dumb, but the only person here that lied to someone for sex is the guy tweeting.
“Universe just aligned your cheeks with this dick” might be my next tattoo. 😂😂😂
And the cancer ♋ sits back laughing 😆
Serious question, are we immune to cancer and crabs?
Yeah but you're weak to lightning types and you aren't really relevant in a Scorpio heavy meta
When I was a kid I thought it meant that's how I would die, which is pretty stupid considering the other signs would make no sense then.
The symbol is a 69. Pretty sure all the Cancers already united
I hope you recover from cancer soon!😀
The Pisces writes a poem ♓
I do find it odd though that Astrology isn't viewed like religion. They are pretty similar. I just can't understand how someone can laugh at horoscope girls and then keep a straight face and tell you Jesus rose from the dead.
astrology was a major part of many older religions. and it continued to be a major part of every day life for many in europe until well into the late middle ages.
because astrology was replaced, sometimes forcibly so, with Christianity and other religions. And astrology became a laughingstock instead of a "true religion." Same with paganism and witchcraft.
I read paganism as plagiarism
Well plagiarists deserve to be laughingstocks.
I read “read” as read instead of read
I've found *tons* of practicing Roman Catholics in Quebec that are really into pagan, astrology shit. It's really weird.
That’s because catholicism is just paganism with some jesus and cross stickers slapped on the front. (and also that stuff about being meek and obeying your masters). Literally every catholic tradition or celebration is rooted in ancient european pagan culture.
Catholicism has a lot of saints that seem to fit well within the models of many polytheistic traditions.
Sainthood is basically the Roman practice of deification of individuals (especially emperors) with a coat of Christian paint slapped on top.
All of the holidays, but swap out female empowerment for guilt and female oppression.
Catholica adopted a ton of pagan shit before that though. Christmas is Saturnalia, for instance. Also all the ~~worship~~ veneration of martyrs, saints, relics, etc is 100% idolatrous pagan remnants and there was a huge issue about it within the church. The jews and muslims loved criticizing the catholics as misguided pseudopolytheists because of this pagan remnant they couldn't quite shake.
Where I come from the majority of people do view astrology like religion (in that their both a load of bollocks)
Because that's what every religion does to every other religion. How many Christians do you know who think the idea of an elephant god is blasphemous or ridiculous but will try to tell you that walking on water is perfectly normal?
Because astrology is often wrongly viewed as a science like with rules, meanwhile religion can be a philosophical way to find meaning in life
Astrology and Astronomy used to be part of the same science until some of the astronomers realized just how much of a bullshit Astrology is.
Traditional astrology (going back to Ptolemy, Valens, Lilly, al-Kindi) is actually very rule based and philosophical.
Like Pythagoras was huge on astrology. He was also one of the prominent minds of the ancient era.
But that has very little to do with modern astrology, horoscopes and shit as far as I'm aware. The bizzarre pseudo-psychology of zodiac signs is pretty recent
Yes, although ancient astrology did also assign temperaments to people born under certain signs.
What most people don’t realize is that the system we use in the west is based on seasons and time of day.
So when you say, for example, you’re a Leo sun with Scorpio rising, it means you’re a child born of a summer’s day. If you are a Capricorn sun with Libra rising, you’re a child born of a winter’s night.
In that context the temperament thing becomes more palatable.
But still wrong.
Because astrology is (mostly) only popular in young adult/teen girls. Had horoscopes been popular older audience and I’m talking 30+ it probably would have been viewed as a nonsensical religion or some idiot convention like Qanon.
Astrology is a particularly old tradition. It's less "accepted" much in part due to the dark ages
Jesus *most of the time* isn't gonna cock block you because of the period of time u were born in
Jesus will cock block you for plenty of other reasons though. Christianity has no shortage of rules about who you can bone.
any reasonable person thinks both are equally silly
but at least horoscope people haven’t done many many genocides, crusades, witch trials, institutional child rapes… etc
(yes this was a le epic reddit moment, come at me)
One thing I found that light give some validity to astrology is how the month you were born in can share your very early development as in it's cold and family inside to hot NJand people.outside more. Maybe it's spring and requires more work.
But still gist is the month/season you were born can and might have an effect on people development , which might fall on line with astrological signs.
But idk. I don't believe in it either way
No one's rounded up and killed Pisces, nor have we ever voted on a person's star sign.
At least, not in any statistic I care to look for.
⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠴⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠄⠒⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣀⠄⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠋⠉⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢏⣴⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣾⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠀⡴⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⢴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⣿⣁⡀⠀⠀⢰⢠⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⣴⣶⣿⡄⣿ ⣿⡋⠀⠀⠀⠎⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢘⣿⣟⠛⠿⣼ ⣿⣿⠋⢀⡌⢰⣿⡿⢿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣿⣿⣧⢀⣼ ⣿⣿⣷⢻⠄⠘⠛⠋⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣧⠈⠉⠙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠀⠈⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠀⠴⢗⣠⣤⣴⡶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡸⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⢠⣾⣿⠏⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠉⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣿⡟⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⠃⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠁⠀⢻⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉ ⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⡴⣸⣿⣇⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠄⠙⠛⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⠄⠀
The hardest I’ve ever commented this.
No matter how stupid you think someone is, nothing excuses lies and manipulation to get sex.
I personally think it makes it a little worse that they need to prey after people they think are stupid.
Plot twist: no one "smashed" no one.
Ah but you all knew that already
But can Hulk smash him?
His point still stands imo
I think i saw this picture before, but i forgot the name of the bot that checks out reposts.
It's what an asshole would do
Way to outplay.... everyone
Geminis are known to pull shit like this
At this point, mans doesn't know what he is lmaoooo. For every argument he's going to camouflage into a new zodiac sign. Then he's gonna pull out the rarely mentioned zodiac sign Ophiuchus.
Ophiuchus isn’t a zodiac sign.
It’s a constellation that very briefly touches the ecliptic but that’s it’s.
Even the zodiac signs don’t correspond correctly to their constellations.
In sidereal astrology/astronomy, the signs are 12 divisions of 30° of a circle. The constellations do not line up with that (eg, Virgo is a huge constellation, Libra is quite small).
The tropical zodiac is even more offset because the division is based on the seasons. So the 0° of Aries, which is marked by the spring equinox, is actually in the constellation of Pisces.
And there's also the fact that stars *move*, so none of the constellations are where they were when the Zodiac was created. Most people aren't even the sign they think they are.
**CHEECH MARIN**: Hey, are you one of those dudes who do horoscopes, man? Hey, I'm a Cancer with a bad moon rising. \~ "Born In East L.A."
Precisely what a capsicum would do
Damn, how many times is this going to get reposted?
No lie astrology is mad dumb
LOLing at this because, as everyone knows, we Capricorns don't believe in astrology.
I will never understand why people think a bunch of stars have magical powers.
Astrology is all BS anyway
This is less r/facepalm and more r/madlads
I'm surprised a guy that talks like this gets laid
Ever been to Atlanta? Everyone talks like this.
"Let me check your online grammar before we can fuck" -Just You. lol
Lol these commenters just radiate strong virgin energy. Like no shit a guy like this fucks. What did they think they were gonna get to clap them cheeks by impressing girls with their perfect locution
On the other hand, I’m not surprised in the slightest
Have you been ANYWHERE people like this are? To me, seems that the more toxic a person is, the higher the likelihood of them getting laid.
Nice guys finish last... 😞 /s lmao
That's because they lie to get what they want
Seems like it. Like I want a relationship not just "smash" (why do people talk about sex like it's an attack?)
Smash, bang, nail, pound…
You might be onto something
Sounds about as romantic as construction work 🚧
Your right, there is something quite romantic about raising an erection with your fellows.
I guess it's time to lay some pipe.
Oop watch out everyone, grammar police is out to getcha
The grammar police only ever seem to activate when it's AAVE or a derivative form, they'll let the scots get away with linguistic genocide all day though.
people ONLY talk like this where i'm from
He’s going after hardcore sign worshippers, if he did, then he’s playing himself
As a Capricorn I can confirm we all 100% do this and pretend to be other zodiacs
Jokes on you, she was an Aries and she gave you 🦀 ♋️ 🦀 crabs
Capricorns like to smash, too.
Honestly, well played sir. Well played.
Love the shit censorship job here.
everyone is playing checkers while this guy is playing chess
As a Capricorn, I also like to act like a Scorpio pretending to be Virgo
Our stars are just so mischievous!
This is funny. Not gonna lie
I once did an astrology bingo for every sign and got the same results for every sign.
I am every sign at once apparently.
Astrology is back? What year is it? That shit was so 90s
I’m a Teal Ford Taurus
So this guys a liar? Why would I believe a chick let him smash Becuase “they’re compatible”
Also like I’d believe anything I see on tiwrier