By - freememeskiddos
Babies are the things that grow up and need to be thought about stranger danger and not getting into cars with people they don't know who offer them stuff.
I don't know about you, but I don't trust babies in stuff like this
Babies are untrustworthy in general .this is gonna sound ageist but you can't rely on babies for shit .
I suspect shit may be one of the few things you CAN rely on babies for....
I'm not touching that.
Found the not catholic priest.
"toosh" -drake and joshs father
Even the ones born without buttholes. They just have it in a bag instead. Like me now I have no colon!
~~Life~~ **poop** finds a way!!
Everybody poops. Some just have to do so into a bag .
You may need a poop fix.
Only if you feed them.
Except after midnight or you'll have more babies.
I second this, I never trusted my son. He would act nice and then strike at any time. Want to feel fear? Be near a child who you’re supposed to “trust” only to get whacked in the head randomly by it.
Can’t have babies in detroit
They’re also assholes. My kid gets mad and smacks the crap out of me or pulls my wife’s hair. Yeah he’s only 6 months but still, I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought about beating up a bby.
My daughter was breastfed for pretty much exactly one year. Originally, my wife was going to try for 18-24 months. But at one year, my daughter started biting my wife's nipple when she was done. After about 3-4 hard bites, that was it.
Idk about breastfeeding but I do know my 6 month old bit my finger the other day and wow. Did not think they could bite that hard at that age. I can’t imagine a bite of a one year old, much less on such a tender part of the body. Fuck that.
I'm sorry, but "pretty much exactly one year" cracked me up
It really was like she said to herself, on her first birthday, "Imma start biting mommy's nipple now!"
Knock his first tooth out to let him know nobody messes with your wife
The guy has 3 on top and three on the bottom already. And he has a full set of hair, I’m bald. He’s clearly established his role as man of the house.
Buy a wig and challenge him to restore your honor
Just wait till he’s 2. They go from loving hugs to full blown punches in the face then they cry like they are hurt. 🤦🏻♀️
This is seriously messed up. Am I allowed to place a restraining order on a 2 year old and file assault charges? Because I’m scared. I think it smells my fear.
It gets worse when they start talking...
Yeah mines already speaking gibberish. Of course the other day we’re at the store buying outfits and I’m carrying him around in that carrier for babies thing where they’re strapped to your body. And he says “mama” I’m like wtf?! Seriously? Not dada? Because “mama” is shopping for a dress while I’m carrying you around showing you toys and what not. I was seriously contemplating leaving him in one of the isles but child abandonment laws or whatever.
Honestly yes, I tried to get a baby to be my designated driver. He never showed up. And get this, I even learned he doesn’t even have a drivers licence.
I once asked a baby to keep an eye on my car while I went into a shop, when I got back the car and the baby were gone, I think the bastard stole it.
I don’t know, I’d trust a baby driving a white van and offering me candy when I get in.
Yea, but I’d have to see the candy first. Then I’ll get in the van. I’m not an idiot.
Of course, that’s Rule 1 of white van etiquette.
Black van etiquette is a whole different story.
Okay this is just van racism
What's Black Van etiquette? Shoot it if it moves?
Shoot it even if it doesn't move. Don't risk your life with the possibility of it moving.
Some people suggest locking all the black vans in a lot and then you don’t even have to worry about em.
What if the van has a huge mural of a sword-wielding barbarian riding a dragon on the side, and is playing Bachman Turner Overdrive from an 8-track player?
[like this? ](https://youtu.be/XvvqDnInRoM)
Yep, except if they flashed the candy like rappers flash cash, I’d be in there before you knew it.
Can't believe he didn't get even one
You should watch Raya and the last dragon. There's a baby and three monkeys interested in that trust...
I would too, because I know that I could beat them up
Wow, you would beat up a baby?
Not who you replied to but yes, because in this situation the baby is driving a white van and has kidnapped me
People say stuff like this about dogs too but I am pretty sure some dog loved Hitler
I’m convinced that Dogs tend to be hyper sensitive to their owners and can pick up on the owners reaction to someone before the owner is even aware of it.
As a tall person I think dogs often feel threatened by people bigger than their owners. Not all dogs, I find bigger dogs usually don't mind me but if I stand up too fast around a little dog they will lose their mind.
One of my dogs feels threatened by tall people, and short people, and chairs on wheels, and cardboard boxes, and palm fronds... the list is fairly long. He's a big scary looking dog too, it's pretty hilarious.
I’m not overly tall but I am a big guy so my dogs don’t really encounter many people bigger than me lol.
My daughter once complained that the stranger she spoke to when walking to school didn't offer her candy.
I think she was just confused and had taken the 'offer Candy' literally.
She was with her mum and just said hello to someone who was walking near by.
Babies will put anything into their mouths.
I don't trust babies' judgement.
This reminds me of something that happened to me like a decade ago.
I used to live with these 2 sisters, older was 10 and the younger was 6, and they were pretty oblivious to everything. We lived on the ground floor of some apartments and our sliding glass door led to an area that was on the side of the sidewalk.
I remember waking up at 7am to what sounded like then laughing and talking outside my window. I was rolling back to sleep and I started asking myself why it sounded like they were outside when their parents are usually at work in the mornings.
So I get up and go check what’s up.
No joke it was some old dude giving them candy and talking to them and they were just taking it and eating it without any worried. I could not believe my eyes. They literally went outside for candy from a random creepy guy they did not know. I went out and quickly got them inside, to which the creep responded by trying to follow and saying he was just sharing candy with them. He left pretty quickly when I told him I’d call the cops if he didn’t leave.
I tried to scold them for doing some insanely stupid shit, but they didn’t care because I was a boy and didn’t know what I was talking about. So I told their parents because I didn’t want them doing this again and oh man they got whooped.
I don’t think they’ll ever be doing that again.
I'd rather trust my super cuddly cat who specifically avoided my narcissistic stepdad while he was still love bombing us than a baby.
You don’t think it’s smart to let babies be the judges of good character??
That’s a bold statement right there, friend. I think I’m gonna need some evidence.
It's right there, that baby is loving hitler. Not to make another bold statement, but I believe he is considered a dick by most of the world.
Several people think Hitler is not very cool
Yeah, that picture is a shitty attempt at a gotcha.
It’s a baby, it just guesses the person holding it likes them. And hitler did like little *aryan* babies. That’s kinda his problem, he liked them and hated others.
Give him a Jewish baby, and the scene is very different in an unpleasant way.
But can we do Ted Cruz and his daughter? She's like "my dad is the zodiac killer" but non verbally.
Imagine being so woke that you accidentally become a nazi
> **[Crying baby no match for Obama](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqhzWlqN3uc)**
My husband is like this. He can chill out any baby and dogs love him too. I take it as a good sign.
I’m going to show him this picture of Hitler and ask him to explain himself .
Goes that way for about 99 of every 100 babies I encounter. "Smile, giggle, smile, bounce, smile".
Then number 100 comes along and is just "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
TIL 1% of babies are evil
I bet that 1% would gently caress Hitlers face.
...That could explain the photo above.
Future Hitler youth initiate...
That's where the politicians and the businessmen start out. You know, the baby forms of "the 1%"
Then that baby goes Yeeeeeeeet!! Out the window
That took a wild turn, but I hope there will be an update at some point.
Not to alarm you, but Hitler was also famously good with dogs.
This is quite alarming indeed....
“Im gonna show him this picture of hitler and ask him to explain himself”
Mine too. Babies and animals love him.
That cocky look he gives Michelle too. So good
Yeah, seems what's going on here is that Obama knows how to handle babies, while Trump doesn't (though those kids are a bit older making it harder to hold them both).
Now one can claim that says something about their respective personalities and temperaments, but it has sod all to do with their morality.
Obama raised kids and Trump didn't, it's pretty much that simple.
And before anyone says "Trump has kids though", he has stated in the past that he does not participate in raising them.
This is exactly whats going on. Trump looks like he's never held a baby even though he's had several of them. Also, I don't get the mentality that some dads have. It reminds me of this https://imgur.com/a/ujrBq7X
Trump looks like the third baby.
Eh. Caring to understand small humans is a pretty good indicator of moral instincts.
Trump wasn’t taught to value childcare, nor to cultivate empathy for the weak among our tribe in general. That’s such a large part of being human that it can’t help but affect one’s morality.
Edit to add: Obviously success with any particular baby for a photo op is not a fair measure of skills.
I would still put that under personality and temperament rather than morality.
There are plenty of awesome people who are terrible with children, and plenty of horrid people who are great with them.
Generally speaking, if you’re bad with kids but you are a good person, stick to pics where someone else is holding them!
Good people who don’t like kids avoid situations where they need to be in charge of them.
Look at the way he's holding the babies, he has no idea how to hold a baby. Obama does.
He handles them like anyone else who doesn’t love him immediately in public. Make fun of them and mug for the crowd
Hitler made a lot of babies stop crying as well... although his method was slightly different than Obama’s....
Obama is a dad. Trump is just a father....
When I was in college, I worked in the university library special collections. One day I found a propaganda book with all sorts of pictures of Hitler with kids. It was a real trip to see him portrayed as some sort of Santa Claus.
There are LOADS of images like this of Nazis just being regular people. I don't mean everyday Nazis I mean the SS and specifically guards and leaders who were personally responsible for the deaths of hundreds and thousands. Playing with kittens, kissing their mothers on the cheek, petting dogs, playing pranks, and helping old people. Some of it isn't even propaganda. A great deal of it is personal photos of people just chilling.
In the background of a few photos it's noted that the subjects are likely only miles from the concentration camps they work at and are on holiday.
Which is why they were true monsters. They weren’t flat characters or mustache-twirling villains, they were real people with families and friends they genuinely loved and cherished, and they decided to systematically tear apart thousands of other families and friends for their goals, not caring at all about how cruel or unfair they themselves would think of it if they had the same done to them. Many knew of the hypocrisy in that, and they didn’t even bother to try and care.
Remember people, an anti-villain isn’t a villain who has cherished loved ones, it’s a villain that feels sympathy and guilt for their actions alongside having lines they would never cross. If a villain does horrible crimes without a care, they could show more care for their people than Gandhi himself, and they would still be a complete monster for the sheer sociopathic apathy they have for those they wrong.
Just to play with semantics a bit—not saying they aren't meaningfully monsters—they aren't monsters, they're humans, and this is the case in point right here.
I only say it because it can be tempting to call evil humans "monsters," and then write off their behavior as something distinctly not human. As though the actions of inhuman humans could never be the actions of actual humans, no true Scotsman and all.
But most people could be a Nazi given the right circumstance (or at least could *have* been if it got in early enough), and that likely includes anyone reading or writing this. The meatmess that is ingroup/outgroup thinking is very very human, and possibly the greatest challenge facing this epoch of humanity.
But, also, they were monsters. Again, not a critique of your word choice.
True, but there isn’t a proven real life example of a literal monster, so my mind always defaults to it in the figurative sense when using it to describe real life people or animals. Obviously not everyone is like me, so I understand if people sometimes get confused.
Disclaimer: I am NOT a weeb. But this makes me think of Hunter X Hunter when Gon gets super pissed because he realizes his enemy is capable of sympathy.
I’ve heard Hitler wasn’t actually vegetarian, it was a lie by Joseph goebbels to make him similar to ghandi who at the time was considered the most good person.
I've never heard that before. Maybe it's true. Hard to say. There are other accounts of his food preference.
Wouldn’t there be record of his menus at events? He hosted all kinds of lavish nazi dinners after all. I suppose that could be fabricated but you’d think the chef would need to know what to prepare. There would have to be some kind of record of that.
Im not sure if any would have been kept. Nazi’s were quick to incinerate evidence and while menus arent a big deal, they may have just happened into the pile
I mean isn't he a hero? He killed hitler
And an unappreciated one at that. He sacrificed his own life to kill Hitler.
The ultimate neutral historical figure!
i dont think he was too neutral his kd was pretty high
Hmm, wasn’t he also a vegetarian and kept zoos with endangered animals? Maybe he wasn’t so bad /s
That’s a myth.
A myth yes. A true myth.
The vegetarian part is true, tho.
Yea but he also killed the guy who killed hitler
Lol I can’t believe I’m actually going to defend Hitler here, it’s mind blowing. But you could argue, while he was a vile, evil, and just overall monster, he did try to better Germany, completely misguided and horrid as his strategy was, he did try to better the country. Trump...he doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself. I cringe at the thought of what he would’ve done if he truly got dictatorship type power of the US.
>it’s mind blowing.
No, but I wish it had been
Yes. Hitler was charismatic and kind on a personal level. He did horrible things, by being far away and never understanding that they were people. Trump has the maturity of a child, and we all know what happens when one baby gets nervous around others. They all start crying.
Trump did manage to put people in cages. He probably admires Hitler. He wishes he had that kind of power and influence. Despite the cost.
“Did I stutter?”
Babies can sense people who have never held a baby before. Hitler grew up poor and with younger siblings. That motherfucker knew how to deal with babies.
In ways other than the obvious, I mean.
The question is who threw him that baby?
What if you have a baby and you’ve never held one before? Will the baby sense that and not wanna be held by mom?
Speaking as a father, when there’s a screaming baby in your house at 3am, you learn how to hold a baby really damn quick.
Baby being held by mom is going to be too concerned with finding food to get mad about it the first several times.
Hitler isn't holding the baby.
Nah. The baby is holding him.
And looking him in the eyes like "You bitch better not kill 5 million Jews!"
I got the "you better not ruin that mustache for everyone fam" vibe
Don’t worry he killed 6 million
Task failed successfully.
Hitler the overachiever.
I mean, he was the guy killing Hitler
Infinite IQ conversation.
Baby: "You lack hatred, Adolf"
"You know nothing of my power!"
The baby is sizing him up.
The kid might have mistaken hitler as Charlie Chaplin.
Poor Charlie. He used to be completely and utterly beloved. Now he has to deal with everyone who sees him going “Is this Hitler before the Nazi Party?”
Plot twist: the baby with hitler is Donald trump.
Hitler died like 14 months before trump was born, TIL, reincarnation takes about 14 months.
You know, the more I learn about this Hitler fella, the more I don't care for him.
What a jerk
If babies did sense evil, airport checks would be much more efficient
When you start acting suspicious just to see the airport babies
Trump isn't hold the babies correctly, he probably never raised his own children
He bragged about never having changed a diaper (after five kids!) so yeah
Strike out the “probably.”
The child is just awed by the degree of evil. It’s checking to make sure what it’s seeing is real. Or maybe it’s just that trump appears to be fucking screaming because of course he is
He probably smells like Cheetos and Big Macs too, which I’m sure the babies just love.
Yeah, i always imagined he had like a greasy, sweaty BO. We both know he doesn’t eat well or drink enough water. And i doubt he does much hygiene-wise, that’s a feminine thing after all.
He was actually a vegetarian and liked eating healthy, almost always eating the same foods, unless he had to eat with someone else.
So I doubt he'd be greasy.
No, not Hitler. I was referring to trump
[Ah, the ole Reddit Hitler-a-Roo...](https://www.reddit.com/r/Whatcouldgowrong/comments/n1sgi9/wcgw_building_fences_on_both_sides_of_a_forest/gwh6mir/?context=2)
Hold my moustache, I'm going in!
Hello future villains!
what’s goin’ on?
Babies can sense people who have no clue how to hold a baby
Well obviously that baby is evil too
They're probably onlt crying because trump is holding them like he has 2 big bags of sand and he doesn't want to take 2 trips.
Well to be fair that’s clearly a nazi baby
Thanks god Trump never had to take care of any kids
Its not about evil, they sense Crybabies and participate
You can’t judge someone’s character by a baby crying. I’ve seen them scream bloody murder at in laws and grandparents who aren’t around because of distance.
Never understood that ethereal "they're able to sense shit" nonsense.
They can basically only tell if their mother currently exists and that's it. The only urges they have are "I'm hungry", "there's shit" and "something's different".
Babies and old people might be the closest to the beginning and end of life, but at the same time they're the least attentive out of the spectrum.
The baby is slapping Hitler.
The babies are crying because Trump is holding them like a fucking weirdo and they're in a massive crowd.
The idea that babies can sense evil is stupid.
Looks like the kid on the left is the evil one. Trump and the other baby are both freaking out
I'm not defending Trump, but seriously, the babies that Obama are holding are to young. They are at an age that they would sleep through an earthquake. The ones Trump is holding are much more aware.
Surprised by a more neutral political post on this subreddit.
Trump isn't= Hitler anymore I guess.
Is that Hitler baby Josh Hawley's dad?
Nazi baby, of course it'll like Hitler!
What are you talking about, I can clearly see a baby in the picture
What makes it a Nazi baby?
Thought the main issue is how they're being held. They aren't dolls.
Babies literally shit themselves. I don’t trust them with anything
That's just an evil baebae
See hitler wasn't so bad /s
I think the difference is that Obama was a good father. And Hitler loved babies (as long as they weren’t Jewish, Romani, Slavic, African, gay, or disabled, etc.).
Apart from the fact hitler isn’t holding the baby, it’s mother is.
Nice try though.
I think Trump just doesn't know how to hold a baby.
i am confused at the point
All you can trust babies for is when someone is good with babies.
Plot twist: the baby gazing lovingly at Hitler is Trump
Trump probably just has no experience caring for and holding babies. Despite spawning at least 5 of them.
My father was the same. He’s about the same age and never held a baby in his life or changed a nappy ever. I don’t like Trump but he was a busy, absentee father, which is not exactly rare for his time and especially his station in life where nannies raise the kids. Hitler btw was by most accounts pretty good with children and was more like a kindly uncle than a tyrannical Fuhrer to them.
Yeah but that was a nazi baby
Liberals be like: Bbbbuhbbbuh hitler isn’t holding the baby so it’s not in effect
Like seriously Drumpf doesn’t know how to hold a baby that’s why they cry.
Not vouching for a dictator at all here, but to be fair, Hitler was much more of a hero to his own people (mostly though he was very extreme). He just happened to be a tyrant to everyone else.
Most Germans were scared shitless of him and it was basically the fanatics that loved him. But honestly, by most accounts he was pretty good with kids and around the upper echelon Nazi’s kids he was just plain old uncle Adie.
Indeed, every country (or at least select citizens of it) had their own heros at specific times, but that doesn't mean they will always seem sensible when compared to the future/present.
The reason why the babies aren’t crying with Obama and Hitler is because they actually look normal and human. The babies cry because they don’t expect to get shoved into the face of a 60 year old, small handed, racist, too much tan using, yee yee ass haircut Oompa Loompa on drugs screaming at them!
Did I stutter?
Well that man did kill Hitler. He was a very good man