An interaction from a table I played at a while back: “The terrible wizard stands before you, what do you do?” “I will cast command on the wizard, shouting ‘Autocarcinize!’, and he must use his action to turn into a crab” “Very well, he rolls a 12 on his wisdom save, his turn is next, he casts Shapechange on himself to become a hulking dragon-crab. Who’s next?”


Druid: I've seen one of those now, can I turn into it?


It's a monstrosity


Since the movie allows it, I'll allow it


Movie isnt 5e


Movie is cool as fuck tho


didnt say that! gonna watch it for sure :D


Upvoted because correct


Rule of cool


Ranger: I shoot the wizard in the back and run for it.








No, you just wound him. If you kill him the dragon crab won't have to waste time killing finishing him off before chasing you!


Rogue: "I hit the giant enemy crab in its weak spot for MASSIVE DAMAGE!"


The only correct response.


DM: "What weak spot?"


**“His feelings”**


"How do you hurt his feelings? Do you want to specifically say something, or just roll the CHA die?"


“I tell him his mother’s claws are bigger than his!”


"He appears confused for a moment" "He says: "My mother is human you utter disgrace. Learn how to trash talk before trying to engage in a verbal spar, you simpleton" " " You remember that untill 20 seconds he was a human, thus, his mother doesn't have claws"


it's actually a great insult. it implies his mother pretending to have claws would be more intimidating than his claws.


He is now in the corner crying what do you do


do i get sneak attack? i took the feat add injury to insult.


Easy. You multiclass into Bard, the class that will literally insult you to death.


One time my player polymorphed a Death Slaad into a cow because he thought it would be funny. I pointed out that the cow was still chaotic evil and started using the cow’s charge and gore actions


Just don't complain next if you cast command "approach" and the player says he approaches you so much he tries to shove the wizard into the ground. Or just say dance and the guy enters dodge state lol


There's a great example of the limitations of mind control in the movie *Abbot & Costello Meet the Killer, Boris Karloff*. I wasn't able to find the scene on YouTube, but it includes making Bud stand in an open window and commanding him to "jump." Bud jumps backwards into the room. Boris tries 3 or 4 other ways to get Bud to kill himself, but they all fail for one reason or another, usually because Bud interprets the commands in the best way for his own safety.


Oh I gotta watch this. Love some Abbot and Costello.




"That command can't control me. I don't understand what that word means!"


Found the barbarian.


I think barbarians would make up their own definition of a word they don’t understand and roll with it. Like how in Dragon Ball Chi Chi asked Goku if he’d ever want a bride and he said yes and 5 years later she’s pissed because he ran off instead of marrying her and when she confronts him finally Goku is all, [“A bride isn’t something you can eat?”](https://youtu.be/YtovGUo8wyw)


Free interaction: “hey guys, have you heard this word Defenestrate, which means ‘Throw out of a window’? So….” Action: “DEFENESTRATE!” >!Reaction: cast feather fall on self!<


So it would work like the drop command except they would throw an object out a window instead of just dropping it.


Defenestrate is to throw people.


*throws the player out of the window*


Generally, but not specifically. Sloppy humans are rarely so exact with our language.


Merriam, Oxford Ave: Britannica agree. But you're right . That's what having a living language is all about


My party's cleric thought command was a super cool spell before he used it. He then used it on an enemy commanding him to "attack!" He was so butthurt that the enemy attacked him he never casted it again


What the hell was he expecting? A much better command would be "masturbate"


He expected him to smack one of his friends that were much closer to him, but i felt like since they were already hostile this made the most sense


Absolutely. People wildly overestimate command to be interpreted in a way that *makes sense to them, with their motivational context.* The command just makes the target do what makes sense from their own context.




I use command "betray" for group threats, waste their turn and free damage


Works great with twin spell or upcast imagine the fiend warlock makes the enemy assassins kill each other


I wonder, if they are being forced to attack each other, do they still count as allies since its not a true betrayal?


They just turn one of their party members and say “Okay I admit, I was the one who ate your leftovers. I’m so sorry.”


That wouldn't work because the betrayal already happened. Just have them shout some secret they were keeping for their friend.


Came here to comment this.


Am I blind or does the spell not mention what such a command would do? If so, wouldn't betray just be plausibly be done by pushing a target 5 feet, as it's considered rude, and therefore a betrayal?


I'm just picturing one mook turning to the other and saying "Tod, I've been sleeping with your partner for the last three months. As soon as this combat is over, we're running away together"


"I stole candy when I was a child" betray yourself


”**BETRAY**” ”Hey, Bob” ”Yeah, Steve?” ”I’m gonna go fuck your wife” ”Wait what, the fuck you aint, stop!” Two enemies leaves combat at the cost of one spell, very nice.


… I *will* be using this


Why are you spoiling good jokes you can use in your comic? You're wasting A+ writing on like the 4th reply to the 5th comment! Anyways, love the weekly roll, can't wait to see what goes down with our boi Kind as getting vengeance for Bucket interrupting his big speech that he worked very hard on


Possibly, but I’d rule it as having them do something that immediately affects one of their allies in a negative way, and which doesn’t always mean it has to be an attack Example: a cluster of bandits are on the edge of a lingering AoE (like spike growth). If one of them got commanded to “betray”, I’d have them attempt to push another bandit into the aoe. I’d maybe even lower the dc to do it, since the one being pushed likely won’t expect it. Another, non lethal example: Party is at some kind of festival, and is playing tug of war against another group of adventurers. Sorcerer uses Subtle Spell, makes one of the enemy team members “betray” the others. They simply drop or loosen their grip, allowing you to win the game.


It depends, I would rule that it is up to the targeted creatures interpretation. If that creature believes that shoving an ally during a fight is an act of treachery that would turn an ally into an enemy, then yes that would work. But I don’t believe that most creatures would consider a little shove to be a betrayal and a true act of treachery would be, attacking an ally, helping an enemy or possibly revealing secrets.


"John...your wife is sleeping with another."


No what are you saying Bob That’s right John I FUCKED YOUR WIFE


I would just betray a secret of someone - not even someone in the group. Or betray myself by admitting I stole candy when I was 5.


A classic mistake. Since you're now trusting him to do as you commanded he is allowed to betray that trust!


Command word “circumcise” could have similar effects


You’re commanding someone to throw someone ELSE out a window. Not directly harmful to the individual being commanded.


It’s not necessarily a person. “Autodefenestrate” would mean to throw one’s self out a window. Defenestrate means just to throw out of a window meaning throwing your weapon or focus would do


frankly, if I heard a command to "autodefenestrate", I'd start googling.


By that definition they could throw you out a window.


Furthermore, depending on the location, autodefenstrate won't hurt or cause harm to the user. In fact, how is it harmful for one to autodefenstrate when there is no windows for a 5 mile radius, thus forcing the opponent to abandon the fight to find a reasonable window to utilize for the command.


Command only lasts 1 round, so that's the same as almoat any other word, like 'flee' or 'cower' etc


However, it does **confuse the fuck out of them**. *"Wait, why was I fleeing in terror from that spellcast-oh..."* is a lot less wild of a train of thought than *"Wait, why the fuck was I looking for a window to throw something out of? I'm in a forest!"*.


Made me laugh


In the original post, the room they were in was at the top of a tower and lined with dozens of window's


200ft tall tower


Or your shoe


Defenestrate means to throw a person out


Defenestrate means to “throw or make fall out of a window”. It has no need for the thing being thrown to be a person


Not according to Merriam or Cambridge. https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/defenestrate https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/defenestration


The Oxford dictionary, dictionary.com, and Wikipedia all agree that an object can be defenestrated. I get that one world class dictionary and two online sources doesn’t beat two world class dictionaries but it proves people do use it to refer to objects.


Even oxford says RARE throw (someone) out of a window. "she had made up her mind that the woman had been defenestrated, although the official verdict had been suicide"


Yeah I've played both games of Tom Francis's "defenestration trilogy" (and anxiously awaiting the third: *Tactical Breach Wizards*) and only ever accidentally knocked myself out a window. Usually it's other people and it's on purpose.


THIS i cant believe it was misunderstood tbh


Having met the average D&D player, I can believe it


Then it makes even less sense. Command: defenstrate, effectively becomes Command: use your next turn on a grapple check that will be meaningless in two turns.


Defenstrate is the verb "to throw a person or thing out of a window". The bandit in the tower could reasonably interpret it to shove your parties Rogue out of the window. Shove is an action that causes the enemy to involuntarily move.


But could i throw anything out the window then ? Like a ball point pen, with 0,5 mm tip and flowing blue ink ? Why would i chose to interpret the command as the worst for me ? Yeet anything thats not beneficial and lets go dark wizard.


Shutting down an enemies turn and potentially stopping another’s movement is actually really good


Not when you're the one getting defenstrated.


Wasting an enemies spell slot for a free repositioning and a clear next turn is pretty good actually


Happy cake day


Then what's getting thrown is up to interpretation, which will usually mean the caster.


I once used command "dive" on two guys at the docks.


Command jump with style and finesse!


You’re thinking of Autodefenestration. That’s throwing yourself out of a window


At first I was confusing 'defenestrate' with 'defecate'.


Defecate is more likely to work than defenestrate


Unless you lack the ability to do so as most people are capable. The one time a blockage is useful in combat!


I prefer command: defficate


Power Word Poop


Command: Shart


Command: Orgasm


the fact that there were specific rules for this in 3.5e...




There’s an entire book called Erotic Fantasy for 3.5e that’s just dedicated to that level of wtf, lol.




Wouldn’t they just throw the enemy caster out the window?


Player casts command- defenestrate 2 months later - player: why is a crusade called against the country? Why are we rounding up the wagons? Who is Jan Hus?




Imagine seeing peasants chanting this while wielding boomstick +5


But that's an action to am object, not a personal action. It would make them throw someone else out a window.


Please note the difference between "defenestrate" (to throw through a window") and "autodefenestrate" (to through YOURSELF through a window). The second one is directly harmful, the first one is not, so in principle it should work. The key point to remember is that the effects are still random as you're not specifying WHAT should be defenestrated. The PCs could start grappling each other, or the BBEG that they're looking right at, or just chuck the first thing that comes to hand (their sword, likely) as hard as they can. All are potentially valid. It's up to the DM and the Players to determine which would be the most fun, and that might not be the same from encounter to encounter, let alone from group to group.


I think most dndmemes goers don't care if it works, they only care of it's funny.


Sense of fulfillment when they get those digital up votes. Who's popular now bitches?!


I literally don't know who, the title of popular shifts so quickly that I blink and there's a new "popular one". Popularity is transatory, and therefore, irrelevant to elves and half elves, probably.


Well technically it only hurts if you hit the ground, if you keep falling it’s fineeeee


'Defenestrate' is to throw someone *else* out a window. Given the opportunity I would rule that the affected creature attempts to grapple the nearest other creature and throw *them* out the nearest window.


Or the nearest thing in general (eg. Their weapon)


I don't care how clever your wording is. If I don't know what the word means then there's a shit chance this random goblin you're fighting does, so he just looks confused for a moment before continuing to murder the wizard.


I mean RAW they just need to share a language.


Unfortunately spells are not constrained by the DM’s limited vocabulary


It doesn’t say anything about knowing the definition of the command word. The only stipulation is that they must share a language. They don’t even need to be able to hear. All RAW You’re just needing the spell.


Spell says that outside the given examples dm decides how the creature reacts. I personally take this to mean that each creature will follow the command as they interpret it. So if you command a creature to "go" one might leave, another may fight with increased vigor. So, if you use a word the creature doesn't know, what would you do if someone shouted a meaningless word at you? I give leniency for smarter creatures, but if you get too fancy then it may backfire.


This is why every fight with a friend of mine began with a magically enhanced explaination of the work "autofellate"


Silent image of the first floor outside every window.


Honestly, this is a much more interesting question - can you combine silent image and command to make someone hurt themselves?


As a DM I would allow it if they failed on a save to see through the illusion. However. Broken Glass. So if its an archway it works


I’d like to point out that the command works just fine. Defenestration is the action of yeeting something or someone. While the players technically don’t have to follow the spell in terms of killing themselves, they’d have to wrestle eachother and throw the weakest players off the tower




Technically I think Defenestrate means to throw "someone" out a window, so you could just get the player characters to attempt to throw each other out a window. Seems like you're bound to get at least one or two killed by the end of it.


My exact thought when I saw the meme. But this wouldn't be DnDMemes if there weren't memes completely misreading or just ignoring game rules.


And now bro watches the karma flood in when people point out that defenestration is not throwing yourself out a window


Exactly. And if you read the definition of the word it says "the act of throwing someone or something out of a window", it doesn't say yourself. Since the spell can tcause the target to harm themselves, they will spend the next turn trying to trow someone else out of the window. Putin stlye!


Or least useful item. Thats just a bonus action.


Defenestrate doesn’t necessarily mean throwing yourself out of a window, just throwing someone


I mean they would throw YOU out the window…then thats a great way to frame them as a bbeg


Honest question for my fellow DMs: how would you rule the following situation. Top of the tower, BBEG casts Command and says "Autodefenestrate" (throw yourself out the window). Let's say they target a low intelligence character, the easy answer is the barbarian. Barb doesn't have a large vocabulary, and could be argued that while they share a language with the BBEG, the barb doesn't actually know what the word autodefenestrate means. Now, the barbarian understands the language spoken by the BBEG, but not the definition of the specific word. Does Command have an effect? If so, does the barbarian throw themselves out the window because they don't know what the word means, or do they not because despite not knowing the word, the magic knows it to be harmful to the target?


I would personally not allow the spell to take effect, or the effect would be based on what the barbarian *thinks* the word means (which is probably something NSFW). Despite what some people will say, autodefenestrate is absolutely NOT a real word. It is a combination of roots that are implied to make a hypothetical word, but it's not anything that anyone would ever use in real life completely seriously even one time.


I would also rule that the spell just wouldn´t work (or more likely tell the player that the target wouldn´t understand what they are supposed to do and give the player a do-over). However autodefenestrate is a real word, just an uncommon one. It´s no different from other highly specific words that would not be used in casual conversations, but might be used in situations in which writing out the whole meaning might be cumbersome. For example the term "autocannibalism" wouldn´t be used in casual conversation, but is easily understood and used in a medical or scientific environment.


It's not a real word ant more than "yellow-sky-light-orb" is a real English word that means "the sun". Wiktionary lists it as a nonce word, which is a word invented for the occasion. Just because someone familiar with the Latin roots could figure out what it means doesn't make it a real part of the language.


"Yellow-sky-light-orb" is less of a word and more of a sentence with poor grammar. Every single word is just an invention and it only matters that its meaning is understandable. Inclusion in a dictionary only codifies words after they have been in use by the general public (for example merriam webster includes the word "sus"), which is unlikely for words which are only used in very specific contexts (for example "phosphorylation" is one of the most important words in my job and has been in use for decades, but is also not listed in wiktionary).


That's the difference though. People actually use the word sus when the speak. Even if there was a news story where someone jumped out of a window, not a single article would unironically say that the person autodefenestrated. It's a word that exists only for this exact D&D discussion.


And for use on wikipedia which has a subsection of the defenestration article named [Notable autodefenestrations](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defenestration#Notable_autodefenestrations). People use the term, just not in casual conversation.


I would rule that it doesn’t matter the definition. It was said so it will happen. The only language thing it requires, by RAW, is a shared language. I would rule that, even though they feel compelled to jump off, they still know that jumping off this tower is dangerous so they would not.


(Soon to be DM) I'd say that Int wouldn't affect your vocabulary. The character shares the language? Okay, and Barb failed the save. The spell comes into effevt and backfires horribly as now the Barbarian is attempting to throw the BBEG out the window. Nothing else about the command indicates that the Barb has to throw a specific target out a window.


So use power word instead


Well, jumping out a window isn't ***directly*** harmful. Or the fall. ​ It's the landing.


ok, so I have to, 1) defenestrate is to throw something or someone out of a window, which is in no way directly harmful to the target. you were probably thinking of auto-defenestrate, which is to throw oneself out of a window. 2) auto-defenestrate isn't necessarily directly harmful to the target. It would be the landing that hurts, and that depends on the height of the fall. There are plenty of ways to auto-defenestrate without harming yourself. Just one example is jumping out of the window but holding onto the window sill. 3) if you are going to complain that people can't read, at least make sure that you can first.


Except, TECHNICALLY, defenestration isn't harmful to an individual. It's hitting the ground that hurts.


I really don't understand the reasoning of that clarification. Is there an instance "directly" should be avoided but indirectly harmful is fine? Like walking into the lava is directly harming but jumping into the Lava isn't?


It relies on common sense, so rules lawyers are having a field day.


TECHNICALLY firing a crossbow against self isnt harmful. Its the bolt penetrating which hurts (Jumping out of the window will directly lead to harm - which is hitting the ground)


Defenistrate means to throw *someone* out of a window, so it's not gonna directly harm themselves. I can't be the only one realising this right? C'mon guys.


so, you made an entire meme about people being unable to read and did not bother to look up the word.


Command: defenstrate does not auto succeed. You commanded someone to make a grapple check that will be irrelevant next turn.


You're backpedaling, your meme is not about the target being incapable of making two actions on a turn. Your meme is about someone not reading the text, which you apparently did not either.


You dont defenestrate yourself doofus You barbarian defenestrates your rogue.


There’s a loophole: the commanded person could defenestrate YOU “Autodefensstrate” is more accurate as it is somone throwing THEMSELVES out of a windo


> makes meme about people being illiterate > doesn’t understand the meaning of the word > refuses to elaborate > leaves


Technically, the act of jumping out of a window is not directly harmful to someone. The act of landing suddenly is


Defenestrate means he picks somebody else up and throws them out Autodefenestrate works if they can avoid the fall damage


"Autodefenestrate": to throw oneself out of a window: directly harmful to oneself, doesnt work "Defenestrate": to throw someone else out of the window: not harmful to oneself, would work


see, this is why you use "eject" because who knows what that could mean


I'm partial to "spin" myself


I'm glad we're acknowledging the "you can't hurt yourself with *Command* part, but I have found a charm effect where you *can* be ordered to harm or kill yourself--a Cambion's *Fiendish Charm*. You get a second save against it, but if you fail that save, then you absolutely can be talked into walking right off a cliff.


Or just use Dominate Person


It is not harmful on the first floor, it just gets them out of the fight for one or two rounds


I once used a command "Cum" to completely destroy the enemy. We were in the brothel so that was thematicly alright.


I cast command: monolog


“Defenestrate” *proceeds to throw BBEG out the window*


If the party has the mcguffin and are near high windows it still has it use.


i mean you can get the party to throw each other out of the window


The command isn't hurtful, the gravity is


I mean if you look at command no words should work for it because anything can potentially caused harm to you


Well it sounds like they're throwing other party members out, if they added auto then it would be themselves and that's the bad one


Directly harmful to themself. Which is why I find it weird that no one realized you could just use it on the big strong barbarian and make them throw the other members of the party off the window


Imagine the dm makes you succeed and the next thing you see is the guy defenestrating your party


The perfect command is: "redeem"


Defenestrate doesn't necessarily mean defenestraing yourself and command **very explicitly** says the DM can interpret the command however they want. "The enemy follows your command and attempts to grapple you and throw you out the window, roll athletics or acrobatics"


Defenestrate is the act of throwing someone else out of a window.


The way I read the spell, you can only choose from between the options given: approach, drop, flee, grovel, or halt. You can't just say anything. Is it just me?


That’s only if it’s harmful to it’s self this is basically telling someone to throw their best friends out a window


That won't even work because I don't know what the word means!


Well defenestrate is to throw someone else or something else you are holding. It is still fun as hell if the fighter throws his magical sword out of the window. Or the wizard fails to throw the barbarian lol


I’d still make it consume the action. Like they’ll really wind up to throw whatever widget they have out the window. I don’t like punishing players for trying to be creative, but of course there must be limits.


All the comments were about the actual definition of the word defenestrate. The wizard meant to cast auto defenestrate, but they're to busy falling to realize that.


Thay would throw the wizard out anyway


In fairness, you aren't telling them *what* to throw out the window, so it could work.


One fun use I had for Command as a DM was to use it against my party’s Warlock. My idea was that, since he’s a Hexblade, the command “repent” would mean breaking his pact, and he’d have to use a full action to reconnect.


Wizard: *Command* "Defenestrate." Opponent: "Okay." *Proceeds to throw the wizard out a window.*


Looks up definition, finds “something to throw out the window” grabs stick*


Or you know, the commander target defenestrates you


Maybe magic classes should only be for people who display reading comprehension.


What if it’s night and I say “stargaze” so they go to the window and I take the shove action


Defenestrate actually means throw someone or something out of a window so that would work, the word that is actually used like this is "autodefenestrate". Just needed to get that out of my system


Jumping out of the window doesn’t harm you. Landing improperly might thou. And the party would just spend some time contesting each others grapples or throw the wizard.


Defenestrate means to throw someone out of a window, so....


Two ways to run the autodefenstrate trick. And it has to be autodefenstrate or the target will throw you out the window instead. 1) Cast feather fall on them before the command so it's no longer harmful. 2) Target knows feather fall. Either way they won't be harmed, but it will also remove them from the combat. Could be harmful if you cancel the spell on them mid air without their prior knowledge I guess, but that makes it more complicated. 3) You're on the ground floor.


"Defenestrate" could also result in throwing all of their weapons out of the window, trying to throw each other out if it's a group.


I assumed defenestration was the act of throwing *someone else* out a window.


I cast Command: eat sh*t


I mean, if I failed the save on this and someone made me do it, I'd try to throw the caster out the window. The command just says to Defenestrate. Doesn't include a target, and defenestrate just means to throw someone out a window. Well, sucks to suck