T O P
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GeraldGensalkes

Tar Valon is a magical place.


Ceraldus

It was years before the shape of the island was pointed out to me. In my defense, I started reading WoT when I was 10.


thejollyginger_

I started reading the books at 12, so I’m right there with you. I was in college when someone pointed it out to me, and I jumped to defend the series only to go “nope, you’re right. He really did that.”


OpeScuseMe74

I was in high school and never noticed until now. By the way, high school for me was early '90s.


MoonHunterDancer

Same except more 2000' for my being in highschool


ariethninja

I graduated in 2002 so I'm right between yall. However, I didn't even know about WoT until about 2012ish? And nope, I didn't realize the shape until I looked at this map and went is that Tar Valon? Why was it NSFW ... Omg... Is that Mother of pearl


MoonHunterDancer

Same Edit, wrong person I replied to.


MohKohn

I was today years old. I hope this wasn't intentional.


Ceraldus

It's real close to impossible for it to have not been my guy.


TheHighKnight

This was totally intentional. Robert Jordan admitted it.


blatherskiters

Oh Wtf. That never occurred to me and I studied that map.


Shotbrother

North harbor is hard to find for unexperiemced sailors


Gerotonin

only the great seamen can find it


SharpPixels08

This is a high quality dad joke


EasilyBeatable

Im pretty sure you would be a terrible crew of seamen if you ended up north.


snellsypu

I feel like this is an innuendo. But I am male so I can't find it


Codles

Ba dum tssstttt


NakedBandito

*ba dum tits


TaintedTwinkee

It's on the tip of my tongue


TheCleverestIdiot

You lucky bastard.


FlushmasterCoriolis

I think she's the lucky one...


Angdrambor

Accurate.


arkayer

The whole map is an elaborate depiction of a vagina


Angdrambor

It's funny because the Aes Sedai are all women.


CobaltMonkey

And because they couldn't find a better place to stick the White Tower. Wasn't room enough to hold the Black Tower as well, so they had to stick that somewhere else.


TheJerminator69

White towers can be taller if you go for the skinny ones.


wykdtr0n

Can't Lick It Though.


Deviate_Taco

Ah, the Wheel of Time. Great book series. Also, Tara Valon holds a tower meant for training women in magic, so the shape of it was quite intended by the author.


Souledex

Because it looks like Paris?


Deviate_Taco

The shape of the island, mate.


Souledex

I understand what it looks like, I also believe Robert Jordan may have been oblivious enough to not have intended it. Every female character he wrote has a very similar personality and they are all based on his wife so I’m not going to speculate on his general knowledge and awareness of feminist art that could have inspired it. I think it’s a dope idea and were it another author I’d agree, but it does actually look like literally what every mid-river island looks like and especially Paris.


BrandonC41

My character is from south of there in the gooch foothills.


Kephal0s

Gooch is such an underrated word. Thank you for reminding me of it


Darklighter_01

I've never seen anyone type out the word 'gooch'. I've said it and heard it said many, many times. But I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've ever read it


FlaccidBrick

Great now im hungry.


RattyJackOLantern

Well you could go fishing on the map. But anything you catch in the harbor smells like fish and tastes like chicken.


CutiestNerd215

How tf does it taste like chicken??


RattyJackOLantern

Magic. As the ancient incantation foretells: “Smells like fish but tastes like chicken that’s where you stick your adventures in!”


ransomUsername

most adventurers agree that north harbour does not exist


dmcd0415

"No it does. It's the female orgasm that's the myth!" -Will Ferrell


action_lawyer_comics

To me it looks like it’s upside down and south harbor is the place to be.


Nolie_Bear

If you spend enough time in North Harbor you will be rewarded with treasures greater than your wildest dreams.


RazrbackFawn

Most adventurers can find south harbor just fine, but need a map for north harbor


CriusofCoH

To be fair, most of and generally the most vigorous action tends to happen in South Harbor. It can be easy to overlook North Harbor, especially for newer adventurers.


RazrbackFawn

Easy for the adventurers, sure, but you can bet the Harborites notice their lack of consideration for their environment.


CriusofCoH

They are deeply, deeply disappointed. And unfulfilled.


RedRubbik

Remember when visiting Tar Valon is seen as rude to go straight to the north harbor or the city center. Take a gentle walk around the shores, moisturize yourself in its waters, the city will be a lot more warm and welcoming then.


evankh

[What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hm? We have all these possibilities before we *stampede* towards the clitoris, Watson!](https://youtu.be/9LJ8UxP8xFg?t=192)


geldonyetich

DM: As you can see, there's a road leading directly from the north harbor to the south harbor. Player 1: What's a road? Player 2: Help! They installed one of those spinny things at the adventurers' guild and I can't get out. DM: Spinny thing? Player 2: Uh, what do they call it. A door? Player 3: Heh, the map looks like privates. DM: Alright, I thinking I'm going to have to limit dumpstatting intelligence next session, but I'm giving experience for good roleplay. Player 2: What's roleplay?


Affectionate_Noise61

Remember, it's not the destination, it's the pillow friends we make along the way.


BeMoreKnope

Not the land I personally want to explore. You got a peninsula map I could take a gander at?


Big_ShinySonofBeer

"So what is the goal once we captured that Asian looking ship?" "It's a Junk and we try to get it into the harbour" "What if we can't get into the harbour?" "Then we can try the sewers. But that would be much harder" "Not the sewers! They are gross and smelly!" "It is not that bad the sewers of the city are well maintained and with the recent rains it should be relatively clean" "How are we even getting in them?" "Well they are not far from the harbour. I bet we could find them blindly with our hands behind our back and anyway the rogue and the bard have been in several before" "We could see how far we get just place the Junk with the bow in front of the sewers maybe with a bit of manouvering we get it in" "We should go for the harbour if they notice us going for the sewers we may never enter the city again"


BigAVD

Your mission is to find a little man in a boat.


Ausecurity

I did not see the map at first, I have a very dirty mind >.>


Iknowamoose

This would be my bards hometown.


Pizza_Hell

Clit's Landing, born and raised


Critical_Elderberry7

It doesn’t look that bad! You guys are just ovary-acting!


thefluffyphysicist

A yes, vagina island. Home of the Aes Sedai, the female only group of sorcerer's who have pillow friends that they definitely 100% are not having lesbian sex with.


oddname1

pillow friends = lesbian sex...


thefluffyphysicist

r/woosh


oddname1

I guess... Well i am writing this with no sleep lol


Naidanac007

“Have ya heard the tales of the mystic north harbor? Oh, it’s real boyo, but only true seadogs know her true bearing.”


Limebeer_24

DM: hmm, Seems like a lot of attention is being focused on the top of the island for some reason... feels good and satisfying for some reason though.


Abovethe_Bottom

Remember: travel by landmark, it’s easy, allows for recognition of an area and doesn’t confuse people- unless they are Zorro, then you are f-cked


indomitablescot

And that's why Tara Valon rhymes with fun.


Saltiboi11

I’m gay I don’t get it


Wolf________________

Incorrect. Best navigation practices are to circle North Harbor in regular intervals.


TASUPPORTER

Knowing how to sail your ships in the north harbor require deft finger work.


jonvirus123

Why is this NSFW?


Vegetable_Variety_11

Because anything that remotely resembles a vagina makes some people cry and they have to report it.


jonvirus123

I... had not noticed the format o.o


Diskordant77

Shouldn't this be flagged NSFW?


ArgonApollo

Why? Where do you guys work where you can look at reddit but can’t look at a map?


Angdrambor

OP and this commenter are both making a joke because the map resembles genitalia. It has nothing to do with actual work safety.


Diskordant77

To be more specific this map INTENTIONALLY looks like female genitalia. It's an island city where the women magic users of the land consolidate their power. ETA: I was also just making a joke. My work has no problem with maps.


SandorYarpClegane

Is this pussy island??


AllanJeffersonferatu

52% of the Westlands is single. That's a market that's been dominated by apartment rentals. Let's take some of that market. I call it "Single Island" It's, like, "Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool?" "Yeah, I don't have a male channeler." I call it "Swing Island". This goes for the male channelers, too. Because sometimes the guys are tapped out. But check your lease, man. Because you're living in [bleep] Valon.


TeaSniffer__

It kinda looks like a vagina


StoicScaly

Ah yes, the city of cooterland


Vinniam

Something about this place disturbs me.


Angdrambor

I'm sorry for your wife.


Vinniam

Don't have a wife and never intend to get one bro


Altar_Quest_Fan

Something tells me you’d be a lot happier over at penis island?


Angdrambor

Or just Ace? Or a very homophobic woman? There's lots of possibilities, but I'll never miss an opportunity to mock someone who for saying our natural bodies are disturbing or gross.


Abajur_Voador

I'm relieved to see they didn't forget to include the clitoris in the correct anatomical position.


KonoAnonDa

*Hmmmm…*


coranos2

Needs a large sewer exit downstream of south harbor.


Firemorfox

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


MoonHunterDancer

Omg, do you know how many times I've read these books and never realized the masive joke this guy did to us.....


Spitdinner

I’m going to visit the mud pit south of the city. I hear it’s nice.


Mal-Ravanal

With this post you’ve either earned great ji or should be made da’tsang. I’m not sure which.


Rooster7787

Lol! I normally have a very dirty mind, but Immediately recognized the map of Tar Valon.


canibalbarca

Holy mother of.... I just noticed this, and im on my third read through of the series


PyrusJaponica

Is the implication that the dm fucks the players?


NaeblisMoridin

Created when the Dragon self destructed and created a giant mountain that's constantly spewing lava. In other words, he proved once and for all he was a giant dick.


GarethGwill

No matter what time of year, the tip never quite reaches the island either...


dmon654

The war will end if you *attack* Pearl harbor.


dexbasedpaladin

Huh... Oh well.


Fizork

Bruh was Tar Valon intended to look like a pussy?


FlushmasterCoriolis

To be fair, most large river islands look similar to that. It's the same as saying can't cumbers look like dongs, only you don't see overhead views of river islands as often.


Voodoo_Dummie

While most adventurers would prefer to drive straight into the city's center, don't forget to spend some time in the scenic northern harbour.


Pumat_sol

Good thing there’s a giant mountain nearby called dragon mount that’s shadow reaches the center of the island at mid day...


EnderOfHope

I love the wheel of time…. But only the books. The show is shit


Mistress_of_void

It's three fucking episodes. There isn't enough show for it to be good or bad yet.


EnderOfHope

What's the point of calling it the wheel of time if you're going to fundamentally change so much of the story? No thanks. Hard pass


Mistress_of_void

What are they fundamentally changing exactly? Seriously. Tell me. I am certain I can explain how it isn't as drastic of a change as you think or explain why they would make that kind of change.


proc89

I'm still on the fence, but I don't think they changed THAT much. I'm trying to figure out how certain important people will get introduced, but the key points are there. They said from the beginning to looks at it as a new turning of the wheel, not the books being turned into a show


oddname1

eh, im watching to see how that trainwreck unfolds


SkazzK

I dunno man... I mean, I agree, but I still couldn't stop watching.


isacabbage

Vagina


Barkerbarker

This sub is so thirsty sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. Go look at some Georgia O'keefe paintings or something.


stillventures17

Tar Valon! I watched the first 15 minutes of the show last night. I hated it. I hated it so much. Why the FUCK couldn’t they just READ THE GODDAMN BOOKS? Edit: Wow the hate! I will have to invest some time and look harder at it. WOT is my favorite book series of all time and the first book does a masterful job of leading in with mystery. I feel like it might be the Eragon effect—that’s another movie I feel like I’ve heard people say they like, but I only watched it once and I hurled rage and vitriol at the screen the whole time.


James_Keenan

Because Amazon only gave them 8 episodes and an order to get to the "ensemble" part of the show sooner, ***requiring*** rewrites. Sanderson was a producer on the show and gave direct feedback. We're gonna have to treat the show as its own beast. It was never going to be a scene for scene recreation of the book. Good adaptations rarely are.


Kaugalaz

Could've saved on the budget if they didn't have excess weaving scenes that nobody is supposed to see except female channelers.


overscore_

I'd recommend watching the first 3 and going to the WoT sub and reading Brandon's thoughts before getting too mad


stillventures17

I will!


KENBONEISCOOL444

Why this map be lookin like your mom last night?