By - c4ink
I got a Wish for my character on my birthday last year, which I knew up front was going to absolutely screw me in the ass... but I went for it and wished their dead sister back to life. One year later, we just walked in on the dude who's basically got her working for him to sell drugs and also is the secret leader of their home city.
Worst part is, he's my favorite npc that I use to screw MY players over with. Monkey Paw x2. Jarlaxle you magnificent bastard.
Rip 😔 🙏
On the plus side it's made a really great emotional story.
I did a campaign where a player wanted to be a changeling orphan, so I made it so they were adopted by a circus owner. Later they found out it was Jarlaxle, and he was just training them to be a spy for him.
Funny thing is my PC is a changeling as well.
Hey, what a coincidence, I’m about to use Jarlaxle to screw one of my players over as well by stealing their immortality, while he simultaneously helps my other players start an airship business. Good times.
Let's hear it for the Jarlaxle chaos dm crew.
Hear hear. Jarlaxle is the fucking greatest and most fun NPC to run. I'm about to run a Heist one-shot where the party I stealing stuff for him but each member has a secret that'll end up having them kill each other over stuff, while our favorite drow just sits back and watches the flames burn.
Of course it's fucking Jarlaxle lmao
Wouldn’t that be a revivify spell?
We didn't have a body and they wanted a way to bring her back the way she was.
One of the best things to wish for is the ability to cast an 8th-level or lower spell as an action regardless of original casting time and without somatic or material components regardless of original components. OH WAIT.
you know what I think we could use? An entire holy temple that keeps out all undead and extraplanar entities, and I think we could use it *Right Now.*
Uhm, what does that do?
nothing bad happens. replicating any 8th-level or lower spell instantly without components or cast time is one of the RAW legal examples of using Wish, and it doesn't even give you the stress or screw you over monkey's paw style
Honestly, if it's level 20/end of the game and the character has worked all the way up to the Wish, I'd say just let them have their happy ending. If it happens earlier in the game, like with a Ring of Wishes or Luckblade, that's when you're more encouraged to rules lawyer the wording of the Wish. That way there's at least the possibility of there being some "oh no, I guess this is what happens when you try to take a shortcut" character development or whatever, if you drop it at the end like "sorry fucker, should've homebrewed a spell for DM approval" it's just a dick move.
> Honestly, if it's level 20/end of the game
Completely agree, but guarantee you 99.9% of all the posts on these subs about Wish are lower level characters granted a wish by some means like you mentioned later. hIlArIoUsLy usually by a DM who was like they won't do that! LUL OMG HOW DO I DEAL WITH THIS NOW!
Fair. Which is why my campaign's current Big Bad is a Spirit Naga, which requires a Wish to permanently kill. So if the dice rolls decide that they do come across a Wish early on, they have a very obvious use for it. If they come up with something else, I'll do my best to judge it fairly, just as I'll judge their player-brained Naga-imprisonment methods fairly. If it works it works, if not then there will be a reason for it.
I dunno; I feel like it could be used as setup for a follow up campaign.
Like, here’s this wish you made. Oops, it made things a whole lot worse. Now the game gets to continue/have a sequel to fix or undo what got screwed up.
Sure, just saying I personally would save that outcome as something for if the party hits level 20 *at* the end of the campaign, to give them a sort of victory lap for them to get to try out their new toys with new stakes.
Twisting the Wish fuckup into a whole new thing, let alone an extra campaign, to me, would feel like the DM gloating about being allowed to subvert the Wish.
That's fair, it's in the description of the spell:
>The DM has great latitude in ruling what occurs in such an instance, the greater the wish, the greater the likelihood that something goes wrong. This spell might simply fail, the Effect you desire might only be partly achieved, or you might suffer some unforeseen consequence as a result of how you worded the wish. For example, wishing that a villain were dead might propel you forward in time to a period when that villain is no longer alive, effectively removing you from the game. Similarly, wishing for a legendary magic item or artifact might instantly transport you to the presence of the item's current owner.
Honestly that’s fair, just wish (aha) that DMs would less often just use it as an avenue to go ‘heehee bad word choice’
I'm sure if you talked to your dm before hand and told them that this was your goal and that you wanted to retire afterwards they'd roll with it. Its functionally a character death at that point (from the perspective that you're not playing that character anymore)
Yea, as it goes it’s usually a communication thing, the meme’s about those who don’t however
I generally rule it that it can do anything specified in the spells description such as recreating any 8th level or lower spell without any monkey paws effect but if you want to go for something beyond that you need to accept there will be risks.
Thought if it is just something like I bring a dead family member back to life or I create a memory stone with information from the past which will correct the record and restore their family's honour I would just left them have their nice moment. Wishing to become a god or something just feels a bit cheap imo.
That said I can't imagine there are many campaigns where you reach the point where you could cast wish.
True, but just because you *can* subvert the wish and turn it into something bad for the party doesn’t meant you *have* to. At this point it’d be a bigger twist if a DM just gave them what they wished for, no strings attached.
This is where I feel like I differ from the community as a whole. Not everything is supposed to be just handed to the players because "Lol, we just want to have fun". There are some times when you can bend the rules, but at what point do you just let the players decide when to throw the rules out to benefit them?
For example, when I was DMing, my players told me that they would stall the remainder of a module campaign unless I let them mine a bunch of Adamantine, sell it, and buy some legendary/very rare items. I told them "It'd take multiple decades to sell it all, or even find the items." Their response? "Some of us are elves, it's fine"
See that's when you let them and when they leave the mines there's noone to sell it to, because the BBEG they ignored for several decades was able to implement their plans unchecked and the world is now post-apocalyptic.
My players just killed a pirate captain in a barroom brawl and are stoked they'll be able to take his ship. Thing is, the ship is worth 10,000gp and they're in a city under siege. It requires 20 to crew, at least half of which must be proficient in water vehicles and they're level 3 with a few hundred GP between them. Also, that was just the shore party. There's still 12 more pirates on the ship and fighting 8 very nearly resulted in a TPK. Next session should be interesting.
Personally I would prefer if they won the battle and then realized they can't do shit with the boat. Getting killed by the crew doesnt carry the same spit in the face as winning and realizing you can't do jackshit with your prize lol
That's pretty much exactly what I have in mind. No one who has 10,000gp laying around needs a ship when the city is sealed and under siege. The people who need the boat don't have the money. At the moment I plan to make it effectively useless but keep it in the back pocket for when they hit level 5 as an option to depart and escape the city if they decide they'd like a more open world game than a city-based one.
A ship is pretty useful in a besieged city. It can be used to evacuate wounded and civilians, and cowardly nobles who don't want to be butchered in the assault or be starved for months or years. It can bring supplies and reinforcements into the city.
There are besiegers watching the waterways? The party can offer to act as a diversion, attacking the artillery emplacements or placing an illusion or fog cover to protect the ship as it leaves.
Being one of the few survivors of a naval relief effort to a fortification besieged for years is the opening of a cool CRPG I played decades ago called Siege of Avalon
I just learned yesterday that Siege of Avalon got a tech update and Steam release this spring!
My players are soon going to discover that the BBEG they avoided from the last campaign didn't actually die. He discovered ancient ruins and became the herald of the worst entity this realm has ever known. So that's gonna be fun.
If I was a PC in said campaign, I’d spend the next session scouring the port for sailors looking to get out of the city and set up the party members as officers who get extra shares of the loot. All the crew get shares too, though.
We'll see what happens. The party will get clear instructions of where to head next in the city to continue their mission but they'll be free to make a detour to the Harbour and check out the ship. For the time being, the ship is useless as the party lacks the gold to hire the requisite number of sailors and no one who has the money needs a ship, while those who need a ship to escape the city don't have the money. After the next dungeon, I plan to present them with a choice. Either continue the city campaign, or use the treasure they acquired to hire the required number of crew and depart for a different campaign if they'd like something more open world and lighter toned than what's happening now.
So, this obviously relies on supposition and could be effected by details that I’m not privy to, but if the siege is going poorly for the defenders, I suspect it wouldn’t be particularly hard for the party to make out like bandits, as long as you don’t follow RAW strictly. Sure, under normal circumstances, a skilled hireling would demand the RAW rates, but in a city that might be sacked, food and a berth on a ship out might sound like a great deal. And wealthy merchants and nobles may also pay many times the base rate for a way to escape. What Would Omin Dran Do?
Valid, but the party has less than 200gp between the lot of them. So even deciding that RAW prices for crew can be overlooked or heavily discounted, it then logically follows that provisions would be exorbitantly priced and probably end up a wash.
The city isn't exactly besieged, but rather sealed from the inside to prepare for what's coming as well as stop the influx of common folk trying to flee inside the walls and thus add more mouths to feed.
The nobles who wanted to leave have already. The ones who are left are trying to profit from the situation playing their game of thrones.
So yeah, I guess it's not impossible, but honestly it'd probably just be easier to do their mission, collect their reward and use it to fund an escape attempt rather than round up a proficient crew and try to loot a storehouse that would be under heavy guard. Of course, that's not how players usually think, is it? Lmao
Darn. I can only warp reality to *almost* my exact desire.
Personally I do feel like you cant just wish for anything world changing scot free. If its something relatively simple like a alot of gold or the resurection of a dead relative then I see no point in monkey pawing that kind of stuff. If your wishing for something like an entire race to disappear or a god/pantheon to die I cant see any character getting away with that uscathed.
Yeah, that's what this sub mostly goes on about
"Oh I wish to destroy the entire pantheon of gods and become a God of creation myself, and also to kill all the other pc's! What? I cant do that/It wasn't done? Bad dm! I'm gonna rant on reddit without giving context!"
We all agreed to kick our party up to level 20 for the final battle in our last campaign just because it would be fun and was the end of the campaign. I adored using wish literally just to replicate other spells, that alone was gloriously broken (hello heroes feast and simulacrum). Once we beat the bbeg, my character’s endgame (she was a silver dragonborn silver draconic sorcerer) was, after a few years of happiness with her clan and contemplation, to use wish to turn herself into an adult silver dragon. She did this so she could protect her clan long into the future, protect the country from further meddling, and live and grow with the bronze dragon wyrmling she had hatched during the campaign as an adoptive mother.
The DM had me roll a percentile (not sure the exact number but it was something high) and the wish was granted without a hitch. I then rolled to see if I kept my wishing abilities, and I could still wish! My character could just shapechange into her original dragonborn form whenever she felt like it, and had her happy ever after.
Seriously though, my favorite part about wish isn’t even the “game breaking wish for anything you want” thing, I’d literally use it only to copy other spells and be 100% content. I’d probably be too worried about the 33% to ever use it differently anyway.
When I cast wish, will either use it to emulate a spell, or have a simulacrum do it, and write out a very explicitly specific request in such a way that there is no room for misinterpretation.
Considering the only player in my group that wants the ability to use a wish basically wants the book of vile darkness/or to become the bbeg.....
Yeah bad wording is going to get them killed.
I've a "wish" story I've never told. A little backstory before I begin; The character I played in this campaign was a reformed mercenary that had faked his death in order to leave his company. Throughout most of his career he'd rationalized his actions as being what he had to do to support his mother but after her death his conscience started to eat away at him and he could no longer tell himself that the evil he was committing was worth it. After a mission, which he'd purposefully botched, he tried to disappear but was caught but was able to escape again due to a shipwreck of which he was the only survivor. For all intents and purposes not only had he renounced his membership with the company but everyone who knew him also thought he was a dead traitor to boot (remember this last bit for later.)
Late in the campaign our group found a Luck Blade with three wishes and as there were three of us we decided that each of us would get one wish. The other two wished for some equipment and information that would help us with the final confrontation and I opted to hold onto mine as a sort of "Hail Mary" were the worst to happen. Thanks to the information we received, some lucky rolls, and the discovery of what we later found out was some kind of soul purifying fountain which my character drank from after some prodding from the dm (read: we had found it once, decided "fuck drinking from the creepy fountain in the weird ass pocket plane that the Big Bad created" went into combat with said Big Bad, party and our backup were all one-shotted, and time reset to the point where we found the fountain) we were able to sidestep most of the final confrontation by talking the Big Bad off the ledge. After all said and done, we start the epilogue and I decide to give my character some closure. I take about 20 minutes to decide on the wording of my wish so as to not have any far-reaching unintended consequences and finally wish for the still active members of my character's former mercenary company to die so they can do no more harm to the world. Wish goes off without a hitch; but there's a shitty part (cause there always is.) In a later conversation the DM tells me that had my character not drank from his McGuffin (which he damn-near forced on us) that my character would have also died from the wish as "Their soul would have still been tainted by the acts they committed while they were still serving" not to mention all the people that had left the company (as in no longer active member) before it had changed leadership and started selling itself to the highest bidder. I mean, he pulled a lot of bullshit that campaign but that one was the only thing that actually pissed me off.
We played one more campaign together after that, this time with me dming, and during it he and his partner (who was also in our group) had a falling out. While I was trying to figure out how to salvage the game by shifting people into different parties he not-so directly confirmed my suspicions that he was going to try to use the game to corner them semi-publicly so the game ended there, he was booted from the group and I mostly stopped interacting with any of the other players as it had kind of soured the group dynamic for me. I still hear from some of them from time to time, but I can't divorce the memories I have with them from the idea of what he tried to do.
Depends on the wish's size and intention, if you wished for all dragons to disappear you can bet a few people and gods are going to be pissed
I hate how fearful everyone is of wishes because of DMs that just twist them to be a dick.
Is the wish coming from an efreeti or similar evil entity?
Then twist that shit. It's what is supposed to happen in that circumstance.
Are the players casting the spell themselves or getting it from an item/as a reward?
Let them have their shit. If their wish is too big or disruptive then tell them it's beyond the power of the thing granting it.
Who'd say that something that could end the whole campaign would be twisted so that the campaign continues? Yeah, must be that the dm is just bad
I'm not talking about a twist to a spell that results in fun for everyone.
I'm talking about DMs that twist all wishes just for the sake of being an asshole.
Write out your wish first. Have other players look it over. In our group, myself and another player were always the last say in wether a wish succeeds if it surpassed the given power. I think it was because they all recognized us as superior in a literature sense. Even the DM would ask us our thoughts first. I was always honest though and have reminded countless DMs of mistakes made.
Me: why is the mech making rifle attacks when it's 1 vs 8 and it has mini missile launchers on its back?
DM: oh yeah! *Launches missiles* everyone make death saving throws.
Party: but you didn't ask for saves or tell us damage or anything.
DM: I just launched 300 mini missiles capable of dealing 50 mega damage each. Roll a death saving throw.
Party: we don't use death saving throws in rifts.
DM: can we just play d&d again, missiles fall, you die.
Me: my last wish in d&d was that we play an entire campaign of rifts run by you.
DM: campaign over, I hate this game.
LOL this is brilliant.
But yeah, not gonna lie, the back of the DMG has made me think "hmm, I could use this as a basis to slowly turn the game into Rifts"
*I am the wish you wish you never wished*
Plus wish can't even do that sort of thing raw so technically it's up to the DM if they allow it at all.
My rules about wishes that aren't safe:
1. The more powerful wish, the higher chance of corruption
2. The more selfish wish, the higher chance of corruption
3. Wishes that are specified as the only solution to dreaded fate are automatically not corrupted. Examples: "I want to free up to 8 innocents from Carceri", "I want to cure someone/myself from inborn lycanthropy", "I want to revert someone's change into Abyssal Wretch" "I wish to restore soul to existence"
4. Cosmos breaking wishes will cause a wild god appear, who will counterspell your wish, cause stress (and automatic losing of ability to cast Wish) from casting anyway and bestow some nasty curse on you. Examples "I wish that has never existed", "I wish never existed"
I have been very straightforward with my party. If the wish can be replicated by a spell it'll go off perfectly. When it goes beyond that, consequences will happen for how its carried out.
They haven't had a lot of wishes, and the ones that they have had had been innocent enough where nothing got twisted, except for once.
The warlock, being cornered by guards, wished that the city they where in never had guards.
The city was a military city, the guards Shifts where all from the military personnel, who took turns, and always had since the town conception.
Therefore, instead of going "haha, the guards are just volunteers from the military so the city never had any true guards in the first place", I went a different rout using the literal wording he used.
The city never had guards. The history of that city got changed, the original city had a calamity happen to it which destroyed it, causing widespread changes to the entire continent and the empire as a whole as the entire premise of the city had been being a major military might for the empire for centuries.
So the city they ended up in was now a new city, and only the warlock knew about the original city.
Nothing bad happened to the characters, I let them have fun making up some stuff that their characters remembered from this new time line to mess with the warlock a bit (it was a lot of fun for everyone) and I used it to conveniently remove or change things about my campaign that I didn't like or wasn't working, so worked out well for that.
But it was only done because of how the player worded the wish, where there had to be consequences.
Yeah it's infuriating, at least without context.
"ItS iN tHe SpElL" is the DM equivalent of "Its what my character would do"
There are obviously times to do it, but you don't HAVE to, and about half of the posts on how to monkeys paw a wish are just being dicks.
"I gave my players the deck of many things, one drew a wish, and asked for a Wand of Pyrotechnics, so I'm gonna give it to him in the belly of a tarrasque, lol careful what you wish for exdee"
I've heard some DMs even deny straight use of the spell to replicate level 1-8 spells, and will twist the use of those spells too.
If it's a wish given by a genie then the genie's alignment makes all the difference. That being said if they use the wish for the basic effects listed in the spell I will never monkey paw it, only if they try stretching the limits of what they can wish for (like wishing for unlimited wishes) will I monkey paw it
Let them be happy.
And then let them watch as you tear it away.
You can only tear away what they love if they have had time to find love first.
[https://www.patreon.com/posts/41159738](https://www.patreon.com/posts/41159738) That is why I like to use this lovely table, still chance of monkey paw, but its proportiaonal.
I think that wishes from genies should be split. Djinn as chaotic good is going to be less a jerk, than an chaotic evil efreeti.