Salutations! I want to thank everyone for their constructive responses. It's pretty obvious that there's thousands of ways to skin a tomato (that's the correct idiom, right?). A great many suggestions were made and I'm thankful that we have a community willing to take time out of their day to help a total stranger. Locking as OP has more than enough feedback to dwell on and it's starting to get a little bit untidy in the comment basement. Have a great rest of your day my friends.


Your profile is honestly great in my opinion and the only reason I can find about why you might not be getting as many likes as you want is because you look a bit sad in your profile picture. Still really cute, but sad.


You're not totally wrong. I am clinically depressed (but medicated). Goal #1 is changing the first picture!


Being child free is tough with apps. I list it twice on my profile and I still get >50% of my likes from women who want kids.


Definitely true. It's really important to me, so I never swipe right when I see "wants kids." Either people aren't paying attention, or they think they can change my mind.


Or they want something short term /casual


Your matches (male) are only looking at your photos and you're like classically beautiful. That's all.


That's what I'm thinking as well. Thank you.


1. Most men don't really read; the apps are stacked to make it a numbers game for men. It's less "not caring" or "not reading", and much more that they're just casting as wide of a net as possible. It's a numbers game. These are the majority. 2. While there's plenty that do want kids, there's still a lot that are putting "wants kids" as an option so that they're not losing out on the many more women that might want kids. Again, it's a numbers game. Or they can be open to kids, but only if the woman really wants it. 3. There are some that hope they can change a woman's mind; but I find them to be a pretty small minority. The ones that I've met that kind feel that way are more commonly from conservative backgrounds that believe every woman really wants kids. So it's less that they want to change your mind, it's that they believe you don't want kids *for now*, but you will eventually. They just don't... Get it.


100% and I Swipe left when they say they don't so no one wastes each others time


Bingo. Not wanting kids makes the pool of compatible candidates very small. I have a whole big conspiracy brain theory about there being more CF women compared to men too.


There are studies. I'm seeing some evidence of about the same between genders, as well as evidence for slightly more women prefer voluntary childlessness.


My experience is that many guys who don't want kids don't necessarily want a long term relationship either.


We’re out there. It’s crazy how tough OLD is for child free people though.


There's dozens of us! Dozens!


Pretty sure OLD is just as hard or harder for those of us with children. I think OLD is just hard lol


That's kind of maddening. I've noticed this as well.




I promise we do exist! Keep looking and don’t give up hope. I’d ask where you were based if I wasn’t in a LTR, because I’d hella date you. As for profile critiques, I don’t like the sunglasses pic. If you could swap that out for a better hiking pic with no shades and a nice smile, it would help. I’d also swap out the “my greatest strengths” prompt for something more about what you’re looking for in a partner, maybe? Idk, it can come across as pretentious.


I think if a guy found the right woman his views could absolutely change. I like your profile. I would change the “in the wild” photo though. Good luck!


I don't want kids and am only interested in a long-term relationship, but I also live in a city of about 80k so my options are limited.


I'm a woman, I had childfree on my app profile and matched with and am in a long-term relationship with a childfree man. I'd rather limit my dating pool than waste my time on someone with an incompatible difference.


I do feel like there are a lot of CF women in my city, but it's frustrating that pretty much all dating apps require a paid membership to sort with that criteria. And meeting people organically is really difficult - especially when you get invested in someone and they turn out to want a big-ol' family.


This one resonates


Doesn’t surprise me. Men don’t have to deal with being pregnant and still overwhelming don’t handle the majority of childcare. It’s also viewed as a good thing at work for men to have kids and a negative for women.


For every 1 man I met that was also childfree I'd meet 100 other men who were single dads that wanted more children.


I’m also very clear on my profile about not wanting children, existing or future. I had one woman try to match with me on Hinge by sending me a message stating that “just because a woman has kids doesn’t mean she’s looking for someone to raise them.” I had no idea what she was trying to accomplish. Another sent a message telling me about her bisexual non gender-conforming son who had no desire to have children and wondered if that counted for not wanting kids. I had no idea if she was asking for herself or her son. 😆


Best one I got was "Too bad you're childfree because you're a total daddy" 😂


Daddy is a state of mind.


Oh my God. What the fuck.


OLD is an... Interesting place. Sounds like the first one wanted to send that to someone who gave her shit about having kids and yours was the next one in front of her. The second one just sounds bizarre.


It goes both ways. People in general will skip over everything that is not a photo.


does being childfree mean not wanting kids? I thought that it's not having kids not a native English speaker


It generally means wanting a child free lifestyle. More than likely OP does not have kids, doesn’t want to have kids. Then is looking for someone without kids, who also does not want kids. Another code for this is “DINK” - double income, no kids.


I immediately think of [Spaceballs](https://youtu.be/YCApeXCE0W8) when I see that acronym.


thank you, good to know


It's not wanting kids, primarily.


It means not having and not wanting kids


Generally it has become a term that denotes you don't have or want kids, as a conscious decision. Some CF people make exceptions to be with partners who have their own children (especially adult children). But the expectation with a person who identifies as CF is that they don't want children involved in their private life in any way.


Note the spelling here, "childfree" for this neologism vs. "child-free" / "child free" which technically just means "free of children".


thank you, good to know


I am a native speaker and I'm not sure I would have realized that "childfree" meant "didn't want kids" as opposed to "doesn't have kids". To that end, might be updating that last comment on the profile to something more like "you also want to be childfree", just to make sure the point is clear.


It’s kind of a colloquial term. Normally, when something is x-free, it means “not having,” not necessarily “not wanting.” Don’t blame your English. ;)


It can mean both, but in this specific context it means “I don’t want kids”


It means not having kids and not wanting kids.


I have the opposite problem, guys who want kids and still match with me.


It's all just matches set up by the algorithm designed by the platforms you're using. We never know how the particular system the've put in place, actually goes about it. We seem to just assume it's only by the swipes. Not manipulation on the designers end. We're giving a little too much faith in the apps being as little as hands on with our feeds as possible it seems.


When I was on the apps, and came across someone wanting kids, it was an immediate swipe no. They won’t change my mind, and I won’t change theirs or take that option away from them in their life. No matter how we could get along, etc. finding out it is tough to find people that are not for kids ever.


Live Long and Prosper and find your love. I do think it's also Hinge algorithms. Every dating site says they try to help you find love but let's be honest, they're more interested in keeping you on the site to make money off of you. I think you've already gotten plenty of advice on the child free stance, and your photos. But seriously you look awesome, I'm sure the next ten, twenty, maybe 50 swipes will have your partner banging down your door lol. I've also oddly found that if you delete the apps and leave them be, you have higher attention, I think the apps detect the lack of activity and try to lure you back.


Oh they definitely do. I used to delete the apps for at least a month before caving and redownloading just to check (not deleting my profile) then getting likes/matches in the 1st few weeks after redownloading.


"Are you a cat person? " cause...CAT BUTT!! I don't see any issues. I'd swipe right. I'm actually about to head for N Ga for some hiking! The sober thing might concern me, but as long as you're cool with me having some drinks when we're out, your sobriety doesn't bother me at all!


Agreed on sobriety, may be smart for her to include that she is okay with being around drinking in moderation


Haha! I hope you have fun! I've only ever hiked in VA and NC. Regarding the sober thing, I'm totally cool with my partner drinking, as long as they know how to moderate.


My buddy's family has a cabin up there. Hikes aren't super hard, but there's some good nature there.


Are you gunna check out where Cocaine Bear was filmed? In all honesty Blood Mountain is pretty nice


Contrary to other comments, I’d suggest leave the time travelling options in. I find them quite funny. They show off your humour and you would obviously want someone who gets you. Exchange some pictures to more smiley ones so you don’t look that serious. Otherwise, lovely profile! I’m also childfree and unfortunately think that’s a big factor. I rarely swipe right on someone because everybody seems to want kids so therefore I also don’t have that many matches. Childfree AND looking for a long-term relationship seems to be a deadly combination 😀


Aw, thank you! Glad you can relate on the childfree stance. It definitely goes against the natural progression of life, but I have to stay true to myself. Truly, I'd rather be alone than mold myself to attract a mate.


That's the boat I'm in; my cats are my children. I have no interest in kids of my own—and my parents have already gotten their grandchildren through my siblings—but it's difficult to find women of similar interest.




Yes, I feel like OLD does make everyone second guess themselves.




Oh I get it! I’m not op’s targeted audience but I absolutely understand why she’s questioning herself. She does have a great profile, but not any matches. I personally believe it’s more algorithm related.


I was thinking the same... I don't understand how her inbox isn't rammed right now...


I'll take that as a compliment. :)


As well you should!


She wants a long term relationship but doesn't want to have kids while most men around 30-38 years old want to have kids or if they don't want to have kids they want only fwb and fuck around. That's why. I'm pretty sure if she wanted kids she'd get a lot more matches, but it's not the case.


This is true. And very depressing.


Both are definitely deal breakers in their own right, but neither of them are all that limiting when taken individually. It's that combo makes for a very limited group. Plenty of men want long term monogamous relationship, most of them want a family. Plenty of men are child free, most of them don't want to settle down.


Gah. :(


I already replied directly in the other response. But just to add: The Venn Diagram of "wants to settle down" and "does not want a family" is two large circles that barely touch. Plenty of fish in both seas... But those seas are connected by a very small stream. Not impossible, but stacked against you, especially in your 30s and 40s.


I’m a late 30’s male with no kids and I don’t want a long term relationship with someone who does want kids. I would just rather date and enjoy my time. Also being sober is a deal breaker. Sadly, her pool is tiny.


It's probably OP's location. I had a bad time being sober and childfree until I left the location I was in, now I just have a bad time being sober but not having children where I am is fine.


I'm definitely not trolling! I was just curious to hear other people's perspectives on my profile.


I wonder if geographical location has something to do with it. I feel like that profile would absolutely crush in certain cities and social circles where agnostic/childfree/liberal is basically the default assumption. From there, looking for a match on the specific other stuff (cats, committed relationship, Star Trek, hiking, football) should be relatively straightforward.


I've seen a few comments mentioning location, and it's a high possibility. I had one match call me a whiney liberal, and he told me to move to Colorado. 🤣


Omg that's hilarious that CO is now the "liberals GTFO" place.


Exactly! And the nerve of him to tell me to move. Like... No, sir, I quite like it here.


Definitely makes me do it. I feel like it’s made me more insecure. Never in my life have I felt insecure about finding someone but now I do.


This is exactly what OLD has rendered us to. That and many people being in a mindset of “this person was good I had a good time, but I’m sure there is someone else out there that ticks ALL of my boxes! I still have options!” Such a bummer


I have to say, some of these reviews are killing me. "You need to smile more, you seem too serious," then going on and picking apart every single funny detail you included as being "too weird." There were so many funny things throughout your profile that I can only imagine anyone thinking "but she's so serious" if they didn't pick up on any of them, and even if changing that did get you more matches but from guys who would think your personality is weird, would you really be gaining anything? I think your profile is great as is and shows off your sense of humor in an organic way throughout while also showing off your looks and some more straightforward info people need to determine potential compatibility. Anyway, I'm a woman, so not your target audience, but I would swipe right, and frankly it's stuff like the slightly off time travel choices and the cat butt that would make me want to talk to you.


Best comment thus far. You get it. I can be serious, but I'm also super friendly and playful. I like to think I have the perfect balance. Obviously I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but I'm trying to attract someone who understands me and appreciates me and my quirks. That's the ultimate goal. To be fair, you can't get the full picture from a Hinge profile.


Your profile is great. It's just the childfree + sobriety things that are likely affecting matches, but don't let that bring you down. You'll find someone!


>but I'm trying to attract someone who understands me and appreciates me and my quirks. I did the same thing with my profile- The more you stop writing profiles to attach others and write them to describe yourself more accurately you will eventually see the quality of your fewer matches increase. I would suggest reaching out to old matches that just fell off or never replied. Life gets in the way and a little prompt is a great way to get "new" old matches


You're clearly an attractive woman, but, like me, you don't want kids, so you'll have a bit more trouble finding the right person. Best of luck!


Thank you. It's nice to be reminded I'm not the only childfree person trying to find a partner.


I more than understand the feeling - your friends are getting married and settling down right? Moving away from the city? Having kids? Naming new pets/plants? It feels like everyone else is progressing, and we're kind of staying still. At least, that's how I feel. It's fucking hard - it's hard enough finding a partner, it's even fucking harder finding a person who doesn't want to continue them


I have **one** single and childfree friend. The rest are coupled and have reproduced. It can get pretty lonely. But I pride myself in that I know that I want and refuse to appeal to the masses.


You’re not alone! I’m also dealing with this myself, as I am also sober and childfree. It’s a combination that I have found to make it much tougher to find compatible women. Good luck on your search


As someone in your demographic, (childfree mid 30s male with an active and nerdy side) I totally vibe with your humor about time travelling, youd be an instant swipe and I'd be sending a lengthy message hoping youd respond lol. ..well except I'm nowhere near you and I'm allergic to cats 🙃 I wouldnt change your profile. Childfree people are just that hard to find honestly. I only see a cf women maybe once every 30 profiles and then I'm looking for incompatibilities. It's tough out here. Oh and you're gorgeous so theres that.


Thank you so much. Yeah, it's tough for us childfree folk. We'll eventually find our needle in the haystack.


Yeah agree with the other dude. The entire time I was reading your profile I was also wishing more women like you lived near me lol. Your profile speaks to a specific demographic so you might get less matches but they’ll be of much higher quality I expect.


Thanks. That's the goal!


My only suggestion would be to replace the first photo with one where you're smiling and a bit further away from the camera so the top of your head isn't cropped out. I thought the time travel poll was a great conversation starter and liked the last picture because it's a great picture of you. I guess it's an inflattering picture of your cat, but guys don't care what your cat looks like lol.


Are you sending out many likes yourself?


I'm very selective in sending out likes. I pass over a ton of attractive guys if I sense they don't share my vibe. If that makes sense. In other words, I send likes on people I actually want to meet and potentially have a relationship with. Maybe that makes me picky.


This is exactly the right approach if you're looking for the real thing. If I didn't already have my heart set on someone, I'd try to have a chat with you. Your profile comes across as real. You gave insight into the everyday you. Ignore the comments about more smiles in your pictures.


Thank you for this.


I wouldn't change anything really besides the time travel option of your birth. But would love to hear if anyone responded to that or picked it. Sorry the likes have dried up a bit, but it definitely ebbs and flows and has nothing to do with you.


Oh, guys have responded to it. A lot of them say they are horrible options. Haha. Makes me wonder why they sent me a like, though. I've updated the choices so I don't come across too morbid/weird.


Not morbid, just kinda quirky. Embrace your inner weird. Someone will think it's a breath of fresh air. Best of luck to you


I think I might have seen you on r/cf4cf? For some reason the Star Trek costume sticks out to me. Profile-wise the only thing that gave me pause (and I see you’ve changed them now) was the “my birth” option on the time traveling question; it gave me a slight worry about how “me-centric” you might see the world. Honestly, with the other options you listed, part of me thought the perfect third option would be “When the dinosaurs went extinct” because 1) dinosaurs and 2) dark humor. Only real thing that would make me personally pass on you is that our faith beliefs don’t align and that you’re a tad out of my age range. I think your profile is pretty solid, sorry you’re not getting the matches you deserve. Edit: Forgot to add, the bit about together we could put my cat in her carrier was absolutely hilarious, made me laugh for real! 🤣


32M here. As someone with a nerdy side and an outdoorsy side, I'd hella swipe right. Your profile shows me a little bit of both sides I like to look for in a person - active hobbies and passionate, but also willing to spend a rainy day chilling on the couch. (and rewatching DS9 👀) For me personally, humor is always a fast way to get my attention, so I like that you have that time travel poll. And, you have a gorgeous smile! If anything, I'd say make your main pic one that shows that off. edit: also, hello fellow Virginian! 🖖


Sup! And hard pass on DS9. TNG all the way. Where abouts in VA? General area.. You don't have to be specific.


😂 I'm actually watching TNG lately, between episodes of PIC. I have... *feelings*... about PIC. but I'll save my soapbox for another day lmao. Richmond! :)


Ugh. I just started season 2 of Picard but haven't been able to get through the first episode. I need to get on it. And you're not too far from me!


I'm basically treating Picard like seasons 1 and 2 don't exist. There was some stuff that I liked but just... ugh is right. lol well, at the risk of embarrassing myself in front of reddit, I'll share my profile - if you wanna meet up and talk Trek over coffee, leme know. as stated, I would hella swipe right and hope that you'd message me back. :) https://imgur.com/a/Rt0Krgi (edit: also if this is hella against the rules someone please let me know)


Yeah being childfree and sober is a tough combo. Childfree tends to go with “I don’t want to be burdened by children so I can live a party life style” Sober tends to go with “I don’t party” There isn’t a lot of overlap in that venn diagram. Tough Road. Good luck.


Haha! You make it sound so bleak! I agree with you though.


someone will be very lucky to be with you. Best of luck!


Wow. That actually means a lot. <3


met my wife on pof 2016 (married 2017). We now have 2 kids and I'm looking forward to our 6 year wedding ann. on 5/27. never doubt how fast life can change (for the worse, for the better).


That's so great. I'm happy for you.


I think the profile is excellent! But, and I'm saying this with lots of love, your eyebrows need some work. If you got some help with them it would greatly improve your aesthetic!


Thanks, appreciate it.


As a fellow child-free person, dorky, liberal person.. I love your profile. It'd be a great profile to stumble across, higher quality than most. I don't know if it's preference based or not, but most sun glasses pictures don't work out well. The getting to witness your birth time travel event option doesn't inspire good feelings for child-free people, it sounds slightly traumatizing! Anyways, I like your profile. Being a hiker and a Trekkie might narrow your pool, but, it shows your multifaceted and what's important to you. Keep it.


I removed the childbirth option! All my hiking pics are me wearing sunglasses. Darn me and wanting to protect my eyes. 😉 I think I need to take some newer pictures.




Yes, it is. I definitely plan on changing the first picture. Thanks for your feedback!


Genuine question from a fellow sober person: why is that a left swipe?




Totally makes sense! Thank you for answering candidly :-)


Maybe a semi candid photo of you smiling would seem more friendly or happy.


If it means anything I'm 34M and I'd swipe right! You seem like an active person that's fun to be around.


It does mean something. Thank you so much.


I would just delete the app and reinstall it to start over with the whole pool again 6mo is a long time to have it consecutively.


Looks fine to me. I think, as others hinted, it might come down to the child free/not having kids (if I understand correctly). Best to you!


I’d date you. I live in the PNW and it’s pretty awful out here. I don’t really have any notes, but I’ve found that OLD just hasn’t provided me with any serious relationship material.


This is a great profile! No kids, nice job, cute cat, educated, and very approachable looking! It just takes a while to find anyone of value on dating apps, but that isn't a 'you' issue, that's more the society you're trying to live in. I say this is a great profile!


I’d make your main image of you smiling. Are you trying to stay child free or just prefer dating people without kids? If you eventually want children, I’d take out the dating line because it seems like you never wants kids. The time travel events are …weird. Your birth so they can see your mom push you out ..? The titanic sinking so you can both watch people dying ??


I never want kids, and I do not date single dads. Time travel options have been changed, since multiple people have mentioned how weird they are.


I laughed. Especially at your birth lol. Don’t change for these fools. Be you.


Hahaha. Thank you, Pink Lemonade. I recognize that I'm a weird one, but maybe it's smart to tone it down a little on my profile.


I think your profile does a great job of attracting what you’d want. Be patient and don’t swipe on everything. Easier said than done.


Agreed. Time travel options completely threw me off. Otherwise it seemed fine.


Don’t see any issues really


Cool. Thank you!


A perfect for date and relationship. Not seeing any issue


Thanks a lot. :)


Genuinely I don't really have any notes on your profile. Good pic variety, your prompts read well, etc. You can periodically refresh any of them if you want, but I don't think they're holding you back in any way. I would ask - are you saying the *likes* have died down? Or the *matches*? Obviously you're swimming in a smaller pond if you're dedicated to a CF lifestyle. You're in the age bracket of divorcees with kids hitting the apps and people realizing maybe they're ready for kids or not having completely decided against having them. So you have a lot of noise to work through. But if it's what you want your life to reflect, you've every right. It almost feels like it would be more valuable to know your swipe statistics rather than anything else. Or get an idea the average person you're swiping right on.


I’m also mid 30s, childfree, and have many sober friends and skew towards sober myself. I’m also looking for something long-term. I have no notes! I’d match for sure. These values of ours are the big factors, you’re totally right. I keep wishing sober bars were a thing, you know?


That's so great! We have a lot in common. Actually, there is a sober bar in Portsmouth, VA. I totally forgot about it.


I don’t think there’s anything wrong. It may just be the childfree thing takes a lot of guys out of the running, and it is what it is assuming that’s something you don’t want to compromise on. Have you tried r4r? Childfree is popular here.


I would give it a shot. There are a few things that I want to talk more in depth about to see if we would click but overall I would. I especially like the cooking new dishes bit. I'm a foodie and love trying new foods and then trying to make them myself.


So in spite of being discounted (single dad), I think it’s good as-is text-wise!! You WANT to filter people via your verbiage, and your personality shows through wonderfully! You’ll still get incoming likes based on your photos, but that’s true even with an empty profile. The photos themselves? I mean I suspect you could do better though acknowledge there’s a fine line between “good photos” and “overly staged photos.” Definitely leave the ST:TOS science officer pic. It’ll help filter to find your peeps a bit more easily, I feel. I’ll also echo the cat photo being great, but also will draw in folks you may not want (which is fine so long as you remember to filter them). And if you find too many of those filtering through, you can always switch it up later.


I appreciate having another childfree person on Hinge! Your profile looks great, good info, good pictures, I'd absolutely swipe right if I were searching.


Honestly you're attractive and have a pretty filled out profile, do I'm surprised you're not getting tons of matches. I think my suggestion would be to try to inject a bit more personality into your profile. I love the star trek uniform photo because it gives me insight into your hobby/passion. So for example in the prompt where you list activities, be a bit more specific. What's your favorite hike? What dish are we cooking? Do you have a favorite show you return to often? I think that'll help get you more tailored matches.


Good profile, it's easy going but it shows your personality. You're totally my type so I would definitely swipe right. I hope you find the right person!


Hey don't take this the wrong way but from the family photo there I don't see much resemblance between you and the others! Jokes aside, you have a great profile!


Yeah... I'm definitely the red-headed stepchild. Thank you :D


Hey, red hair or emoji with sunglasses I'm sure you're all lovely! Haha any time!


I'd match and start a conversation about hiking. Only thing I could think of is find a picture you're smiling on to add to your profile.


I think your profile is wonderful. You’ve showcased your personality through a variety of photos, and your prompts are great!


Profile seems fine. Are you not getting matches, or are you getting matches that just don't go anywhere?


No matches!


I’d swipe right. Good to be up front on the important things. Personally, I’m on the fence with kids…I’d go either way depending on what the future Mrs. wants…I’m leaning no though.


I think your profile is lovely and offers insights into your personality / preferences. Good luck!


Would like some more pictures of you smiling (especially for your main photo) and a few more potential conversation starters (for instance, what movies/shows would we watch?), but otherwise this looks good and if I was still in what I'm guessing is your neck of the woods I'd definitely swipe right. 34M and just to commiserate I'm also childfree and it's hard out there for us. I'm very upfront about my requirements of childfree monogamy before I consider anyone as more than a friend. I'm in IL now and it's been probably half a decade since the last time I secured an actual date for myself as a result.


40m here. I'm currently engaged (and also have kids), but beyond that, I think you're attractive and seem like fun. As we get older, it's obviously harder to find people without kids, so that's obviously going to limit your options. However, I don't see anything on your profile that would be a turn off or whatever.


Oh you got me with the Star Trek uniform!


100% keep the Star Trek picture.


My only advice would be to make your top photo one in which you are smiling. Many people won't scroll past the first photo of they don't get a good vibe from it. A clearly visible shot of you smilling and looking happy is your best bet imo.


Love the TOS Trek uniform.




Hmm. We are eerily similar. Thank you!


OP is amazing, don’t change anything. Your profile speaks to me. Now I’m just sad I’m in a different state and can’t say hell yes to you.


Well thank you!


I’m 34 child free sober and i have a hard time on apps


I always suggest the first picture should be smiling, because it sets the first impression. Some people decide to swipe or not based solely on the first picture. Leave the more serious pictures for further down. I'd say swap it with the Star Trek one but that would be polarizing, which you may or may not want. Other than that everything looks good, you are attractive, you show yourself out and about doing things you enjoy, your prompts are funny and give a lot to go on. I'd swipe right.


I think your profile is just fine.....many people have already said very good things, so I won't repeat them......just stand firm with your preferences and convictions....don't back down for anyone......I understand it gets lonely, but better to be lonely and somewhat happy, then to be with someone, still feeling lonely, and being miserable...... And if finding a LTR with being childfree is hard, I can only imagine the roadblocks I'm gonna hit......sure, it's easier to find someone who doesn't mind kids, but I'm a swinger......and I can only imagine the dating pool is rather small for the both of us...... Good luck.....I'm just a random dude on Reddit, but if I was childfree, monogamous, and in your area, I'd of swiped right......




Childfree guy in my 30s. I'd swipe right. Only minor critique would be a main picture that isn't so close, and, as much as it's cliche to say, with you smiling. From what I understand it's tough finding childfree guys who are actually childfree, don't give up!


I'd be pumped if I could meet a woman in her 30s, sober, no kids and was as cute as you! There's no reason why you should have a difficult time dating.


As a childfree dude, 31/M, I would absolutely reach out to you if I saw your profile, idk, I’m not entirely sure how I would even rate you down, you’re a cat friend who likes Star Trek and you seem to have a clear idea of what it is you want, I feel as though your profile is fine, but this is coming from someone who kind of sucks at the whole dating website game so take it with a grain of salt, still, it’s rough out there for the childfree, going against the grain is always a pain.


Love the last sentence! It's so true it hurts.


Shout out to being sober! I'm 31 and get weird looks all the time when I tell people I don't drink (and never have).


Woohooo another childfree 33F, sometimes I feel like I am the only one out there. Good luck girl! You look really young for your age and seem like a fun person to chill with!


Hello! I feel that way too! Sending hugs your way.


I am sober, child free, and looking for monogamy/LtR. we are out there! 😊 I’m also a gay woman in a small town. The numbers are stacked against me too, so I feel ya.


32M here. I may be doing hinge completely wrong and be way too selective, so please take this with a pound of salt. Photos: Appearance and presentation are great. You look like you take care of yourself, are attractive, and don't send the impression you spend 10 hours a day in the gym. That last one is generally a negative for me since my goals are not that high and we'd be likely incompatible. Profile pic is good, the rest show what you look like, but don't show your personality or what makes you tick. The only picture that appears to show your personality is the star trek one (which is amazing btw), the rest are solid, but don't paint me a picture about what makes you unique. We've all been on hikes, we've all been to weddings, we've all been near a cat butt. Consider finding another one that makes someone think "woah, that's cool, they're into X!" I want to start a conversation about that! You nailed it with the star trek one, but that would be capturing a very niche person. Are there any other strong and unique interests you have? Same with the prompts, I don't think there's anything wrong with them in and of themselves, but I doubt they capture your true personality. You may be able to save some space by putting "no kids" in the "about me section" and use that space to tell me more about you. Your second two prompts about what you're looking for describe just about everyone (who doesn't want kids). Do you want someone full of energy who wants to play, or someone who wants to just relax after work? Do you want someone who is still figuring life out, or someone who is ready to settle down and buy a house? Personally, my likes/dislikes are based on overall vibe compatibility. If our top two values don't align, I'm sure there's some overlap in the top 5, so while important, they're not an immediate deal breaker for me. What I do want to know: Are you goofy or more to the point? Do you like exploring new hobbies, or are you set on what you enjoy doing now? Is there something you're passionate about that you're working on? The vibe I'm getting from this is you work from 9-5, generally stay in, and occasionally go to fun conventions on the weekend or go on a hiking trip. I'm also getting an introverted vibe that prefers to stay in than go out and be social. Not saying this is the case, but from the 30 second read, this is the picture being painted in *my* eyes. Profiles are hard, I've been adjusting mine almost daily with the feedback I've seen on this subreddit and other guides. It's hard to balance casting a wide net vs being too specific. What are *your* selection criterea? Going back on matches, look at their profile and ask "what was it that made me go 'oh, they seem cool, I want to learn more about X.'" Do you have the same thing in your profile? Best of luck!


I think your profile looks wonderful really. Dating today is a challenge for sure and I have learned that through experience. I need to up my game on the profile for sure but in a way I really just want that face to face interaction instead of someone looking at a list of parameters and dismissing me for one "incompatibility". Maybe it is height, too many pictures with fish, political reference... etc. Anyways I think your lovely and keep at it, be patient.


As a straight woman, I can say that I don't understand why you'd have a lack of matches. You're very pretty. Your first question is fun, strengths are great and variety of pictures shows friendliness, outdoor adventure, intellectual etc. Everything you put shows your interests. I don't think there's anything I'd say to change…just wait for the right matches, maybe none of the current guys on the app are good matches? Edit: I didn't realize child-free meant never wanting kids. I thought it just meant not having any. What u/PuzzleheadedRun2776 said makes sense then - but they're still out there even if there are less of them. Don't lower your standards or lose hope! I'm child-free too. I have friends and family that met on dating apps and got married, some never wanting kids. Two weren't on the app for a LTR and it just happened because they fell in love. Also, my SIL almost didn't swipe right on my brother because she said he seemed too good to be true so she thought he was faking it. 😂 So you never know what people's reasons are for not swiping right. My main advice would be to keep the unique/quirky/genuine interests. If anything maybe add something unique to the "Together, we could…"?


If you can't get likes we're all fucked.


OLD is just a nightmare for everyone. You’re cute, maybe just quit the apps for awhile and try to find someone irl.


Don’t suppose your thinking about moving to Western Australia anytime soon ? ?


If it weren't for the child free bit, I'd swipe right so hard. Already have a kid so that would make us incompatible, but otherwise you seem pretty awesome. Keep at it and you'll find your person!


Yeah, that seems to be my biggest "problem!"


There’s nothing wrong with your profile. I think it’s great. Maybe more smiley pics if you want. Gluck! Funny story: I actually was so against dating men with children. I didn’t think I’d like it but I did. the person I dated had a 3 and 5yr old, divorced, half custody. Maybe I wasn’t looking for LT at the moment and didn’t know it but definitely an experience that I don’t regret having.


I suggest fully deleting the app and redownloading it. When you’re new on the apps they really boost your profile and give you a lot of exposure. I think that has more to do with the likes dying down after a couple months of use than your profile itself.


Hey, 31m here, also childfree. I think your profile is great! I agree with some of the other comments in that you could swap out the more serious pictures for more lighthearted ones, if you want. But really, it seems like a good balance of different photos that show your various interests to me!! As an aside, I think being childfree in our age range is always a bit rough since this is the time where people who haven't settled down yet are interested in having kids. Definitely limits our options, but trust me, we're out there. I'd totally swipe right on you!


>I'm in the same boat. except longer time in the apps. I thought my location in northernVA/ DC area would help because of the demographic is favored towards me. but turns out it is not, for me at least. you'll be fine. you're not alone.


Surprisingly, very good profile considering how many bad profiles are out there.


It looks straight forward and to the point. Outside of being a donkeys fan I'd swipe right on you. Geeky and professional is an awesome combo. Good luck!


Other than being a Broncos fan, I’d send a like. I think your pictures and prompts are great.




As childfree dude (and If I were in the area) I'd totally swipe right. Please don't get too caught up in people's feedback here. You've got it going on.


Does long term relationship mean marriage?


i would be swiping right so fucking hard. you are a catch. i would say maybe try to fit a little more humour in your profile but that is tricky. if you force jokes they end up making you look bad. cat butt was funny. when you mention "sober" that tends to be a red flag with me. i assume anyone who makes it a point to mention they are "sober" makes me think they are struggling with drugs/alcohol and i will end up having to deal with them being sloppy drunk or something. thats not to say i would care about a rocky past if they got their shit in order now. but if a person is currently struggling to stay sober that is not my thing. i would consider myself a sober person for the most part but only because i get hangovers really easy. instead i try to find more subtle ways to hint that i don't really drink. its really a more serious conversation for after they have swiped right.


I would say your perfect but im just a guy on the tinternet don’t give up hope