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Going on a date I'm not physically attracted to?

Going on a date I'm not physically attracted to?

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ProtoBlues000

There was one date where I felt meh about meeting her because I was not too impressed with the pictures but it turns out she just was not good at taking flattering photos. In person, she was really hot. In the end she rejected me and not the other way around. Lol. Go to the date. There is a possibility you may be pleasantly surprised.


andrewditm

Yeah I’m still going on the date. Just don’t know how I feel about the whole looks thing. She looks really cute in her filtered photos but pretty bad in unfiltered ones…hopefully she’s better in person like your story tho


Ohoksurenoworries

I've heard from a few dates that my profile pics were bad and that I looked way better irl. Not all girls know how to take good pics and how to pose :)


IntegratedExemplar

I'd go on the date, meet her in person. Then if you're still not feeling it, just say so! Alternatively maybe she'd be up for being friends?


jefffreykeith

This is good advice, she may not be very photogenic and looks great in person. I’m generally considered a handsome guy but if I was judged solely on pictures I’d die alone. Worst case scenario you get a little date practice and make a new friend.


andrewditm

Yeah I’m still going on the date because she seems fun, just don’t know how I feel rn lol


IntegratedExemplar

Don't worry about it. Just put it out of your mind and enjoy the company.


andrewditm

Thanks for the help


[deleted]

Still go on the date! I have a friend who everyone thinks is stunning in person but looks like a completely different and less attractive person in photos.


Specialist-Ebb7606

Its okay to not be attracted to someone and its okay to cancel the date if you feel you will not have a connection be added of this


AppointmentHorror584

It’s not your fault, she was the one that used all those filters and that’s a bit dishonest. I hate when people use too many filters on profiles


andrewditm

I suppose so. I just feel really shallow because of this


AppointmentHorror584

Well let us know how it goes


Purpledurple0

No need to feel shallow. Everyone has preferences, it’s okay if she just isn’t one of yours.


andrewditm

Thanks for the comfort


willthisevenwork1

I'd still go! Most of my best dates were when I had no expectations, especially looks wise. I've had bad dates too. But I've never had a good date with a goodlooking guy.


andrewditm

Yup, still going. Interesting you never had a good date with good looking men haha


Brock3705Landers

Don’t feel bad! Using pictures with filters to get dates is false advertising !


andrewditm

Yeah you’re right, others have said it too.


[deleted]

Yeah I've felt this before. Obviously - just go on the date and enjoy the evening. If it genuinely feels like your stomach/guts are telling you "don't you do it"/churning - then its probably best to move on. That's my personal barometer - no girl is actually ugly until I feel it in my gut/I discover her character is whack.


andrewditm

Thanks for the advice man. Did it work out for you when you went on the date?


[deleted]

The main instance I'm thinking of - went well. But I had been in the game long enough to smile through just about anything and keep it moving. She got really close and I could see how unclean her teeth(like literal stains/plaque very noticeable) /bad her acne really was and I shifted to "I'm looking for something serious and I just didn't feel that spark"


andrewditm

Ah gotcha. Thanks again


Appropriate-Owl-2696

After the first kiss you will change your mind


andrewditm

Lol if it happens I hope so


SPdoc

If you don’t feel attracted to her in person, HARD NO. Don’t waste her time. You’re not a douche for not being attracted to her, but if anything you’d be a douche for stringing her along, even inadvertently, after date 1. As a woman, you could be the hottest dude in the room, but I can guarantee you the majority of us with self respect would hate it if you dated us without any baseline attraction to us just because we are “sweet.” We aren’t pity projects and don’t need you to settle for us.


andrewditm

Thanks for the advice. I’ll make a decision after the date.


ShePrettyTho

So lame for people to use filtered photos! What’s the point? As you say you are portraying a false image of yourself and guess what THEY WILL SEE WHAT YOU ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE IRL. So odd to me. I never use filtered photos. Would I like to … yes 😂 but then I’d not be showing my true self. Hopefully there is an attraction when you meet. Good on you for still going.


andrewditm

Haha thank you. We’re going bowling and it’s fun to me, so I’ll at least enjoy the company 😅


Possible-Ad-627

It sounds a bit deceptive to me, she's insecure about her appearance, and didn't want to show you the real her Would you have arranged a date with her if you'd seen the real.photos first?


andrewditm

Honestly…probably not. However, she has a fun and cool personality so I’m unsure of how I feel


Future-News-6950

What's the ig?


Moonchildbeast

Instagram


No-Remove4548

you shouldn’t.


HellzHydro

I went out on a date a while ago with someone I wasn’t physically attracted to. She was really cool and has a really great personality. Unfortunately I couldn’t get over the attraction issue, and I told her I thought she was great but I didn’t know if we’d be compatible as a match, but that I’d be open to friendship if she was interested. She agreed, we go out and do things together maybe once or twice a month. Really glad we decided to keep the other one around. Not every match needs to end with dating.


Yutakatora

Just go on the date, but just be wary of the reasons why she’s using filters. If people are willing to lie before dates what about during or after dates?


chonkers3

>I'm still going on the date because she's actually a sweet girl and I don't want to cancel just because of looks This is counter productive though as you are not really interested in going further or even really going. Cancelled may seem like a bad move, but in context is the better option


andrewditm

Cancelling does seem like a better option in the long term. Guess it really comes down to looks or personality right now


chonkers3

It does when you havent met the person yet.


whatshelooklike

She could have changed phones over the years. There are I'm built filters in the new ones you can't adjust


chrychouu9

Go on the date. Pictures are so skewed nowadays it doesn’t tell you anything about them. Meet in person then decide if you want to continue or move on. Everyone would hope to date someone good looking but perhaps she has one of the best personalities that mesh well with you. As you get to know this girl more, maybe you’ll even start to find her attractive. My tinder date thought I was catfishing him because some of my pics were meh and some looked good so he also wondered if I would look bad in person since the good pics could’ve been filtered. He saw me on our first date and literally said “wow, you look so much better in person” LOL I am aware that I’m not photogenic so I was expecting that sort of comment (I’ve been told by colleagues too). I just said thanks and we started our date and now we’re in a relationship.


mjonesxx

With my ex I wasn’t initially attracted to him but we hit it off sooo much like you did, I was hesitant to meet up but I did it anyway and in person we got along so well it was amazing, I still didn’t have that physical attraction and by the third time I did, I personally think someone’s personality can make someone attractive? I would say give it a go, meet them and if there’s no spark then there’s no spark you know? No harm done


andrewditm

Yeah, at worst we can just be friends


mjonesxx

i hope it goes well for you!!


andrewditm

Thank you :-)


Clinical_Subject065

Go. This situation may actually take the edge off so your won’t feel as nervous. Consider it valuable experience for when you’re looking to impress a showstopper.


andrewditm

Yeah I’m still going because I need experience dating wise


ceroboros

If I were in this situation I'd probably just cancel. I used to feel bad about stuff like this too, but I don't anymore. People need to stop lying just to get dates on these apps. Its weird and in the worst cases, its dangerous. More people should learn to use accurate photos so their match can have an idea of what they're physically getting themselves into.


The_Super_Carrot

I’d consider being a bit less focused on how hot she is/isn’t. You’ll find that physically attractive people are really easy to find, but it’s much harder to find someone who’s decent looking AND has a bearable personality. :)


andrewditm

Very true actually, good people are hard to find these days


thatfloridachick

Cancel the date. You’re losing attraction and haven’t met her in person.


chichurira

In this specific situation I think you should cancel the date. Look, you need to understand from a women's perspective, when someone ask us on a date we take for granted that the guy is physically attracted to us and if you are not, you would only lead her on.