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For girls: Wondering to what extent facial hair/large muscles has on a guy's chances?

For girls: Wondering to what extent facial hair/large muscles has on a guy's chances?

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Charming-Pudding

That’s fucked up advice, honestly. Just put reasonable effort into taking care of yourself, ie clean and groomed; wearing clothes that fit and aren’t falling apart. You don’t need to change your style to conform to a certain look for other people’s expectations. Grow a beard if you feel like trying it out. If you like how it looks and feels, great. If you don’t like it, shave it off. A quality relationship wouldn’t be ruined by that change, there’s a lot more important reasons to be attracted to someone than their appearance. If they would leave you for shaving, they weren’t right for you.


CrazedSpectorem

I wouldn’t quite say that you need to have a figurine body or grow a beard. Just thing of things of self improvement, I guess. By working on yourself it comes off as attractive because you take good care of yourself. I dont think you should have to change something about yourself that you don’t want to change, just so that others will find you “attractive”. Attractiveness is subjective and depends on the person. Just do what you want to do.


Linux4ever_Leo

"I got some weird advice from a friend telling me that the reason girls ignore me is because I just need to grow some facial hair, and start looking larger?" Weird is right! Please don't listen to the ignorant advice from this so called friend. That's like saying you'll improve your chances with women if you change your eye color and grow a second penis... Good grief, are people really this clueless?


fibbybritches

Be hygienic and active. Take care of yourself. That's what's really attractive.


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imtrying2020

The muscle thing isn’t a requirement to appear hot, but it helps out immensely. A fit and attractive physique will attract way more women than it will turn away. So it doesn’t really matter about the ones who aren’t into it, just know that way more people are into it.


fibbybritches

Everyone has their preferences on what they find attractive but there's no set rules that say for all women this, this and that makes you more physically attractive. Personally I've never liked the muscle look or facial hair. Huge fan of dad bods. Prefer no facial hair but not going to hard pass on someone just because they have it. IMO what really matters is what kind of person you are. You can be as hot as possible in society's standards but if you have a shit attitude with no goals, ambition or vakues/morals you're ugly to me. Looks fade. Of course attraction matters and yeah maybe you'll get hit on more if you change up your looks, who knows but if you want to find something of value it's who you are that's more important.


Pierson230

Don’t grow facial hair and get big muscles unless you want to grow facial hair and have big muscles Ask yourself this: if you need to do things you hate in order to attract a certain woman, what’s the point of bringing the wrong woman into a miserable life? Certainly live a fit lifestyle on your terms. After that, find your joy, and look for a woman who adds to it.


uoftisboring

I (early twenties F) might get down voted to hell for saying this but here goes: a lot of men look hotter with facial hair. If you can't grow facial hair then it's fine. But I have heard women (my friends included) joke around and say "is he hot or does he just have a beard". Some women like it, some won't. It's like the whole "blondes or brunettes" thing. I have naturally black hair and when I went blonde I got way more attention from men (could've been due to confidence but I also think more men were into the blonde). As far as being jacked, some women definitely like it. Some prefer more thin, some like thick, dad bod etc. None of these are ~deal breakers~, just preferences. My boyfriend purposefully got bigger so that he could get more girls (when he was single of course). He'd say that it increased his chances a lot. You can't generalize but I'd say that both can help your chances for ~some~ women. Just do you. It's up to you whether or not you want to change your appearance and whether or not you want to be with someone who has those preferences.


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uoftisboring

Yes, for me I'd say most guys look better with a beard. Perhaps it looks more masculine, requires confidence, makes you seem more serious which I like. I remember in highschool my biology teacher said that women like more "strong" looking men (i.e. Beards, muscles etc.) when they aren't ovulating. And they prefer men who are more feminine when they are ovulating since they want someone to nurture their hypothetical child. Apparently this preference changes depending on your ovulation cycle. Maybe it has something to do with that but I have no idea. I do need to mention that my bf does not have a beard because he can't grow one and I still think he's handsome. He has a more "baby" face.


[deleted]

Usually problems with dating are social issues not because you are hideous.


cheerfulsmile

Personal opinion: It literally has no effect on a guy's chances with me. Yes, physical appearance, however much we like to say otherwise, is a part of your attraction. However, it's not the most important especially if you're looking for something serious. I look at it as a continuum and for some people physical appearance is as important as a person's personality or even more so, for others it's not as important. For others, some within the asexual community mostly, physical appearance doesn't matter. So, I'd say it depends on what you're looking for and who you want to attract. But I'd say the most attractive thing regardless is someone who owns who they are. Even if you grow facial hair or/ and large muscles, if it makes you uncomfortable or insecure, it will show. Also it would be helpful to consider what kind of person you're attracted to and what you find attractive about them.


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cheerfulsmile

You're welcome! Also I just checked out the videos and it made me feel so disgusted and angry. There's so much more to a person besides their sexual market value. It's awful. It's good you're staying away from this kind of content. Will definitely fry your brain.


ShesTheWinrar

Facial hair for me changes guy to guy. There are some who look great with it and others that look great without. I wouldn't rule out someone just because someone is doing the opposite of my personal preference though too small of a thing to care about. These types of guys who give such advice your given tend to be the least to understand us. There is no universal attraction and everyone is different but they tend to be quite misogynistic and don't care to see us as individuals. Their tactics won't get you anywhere but into the start of the pipeline that leads to you just being lonely and hating women which ensures perpetual loneliness. My suggestion would be keep trying and ask yourself what can realistically be wrong? It could be something as simple as not being social enough.


RebelScientist

Some women like facial hair, some find any facial hair at all gross. Personally, I think facial hair can be very attractive if it’s well maintained and suits your face and your overall style. Same with the muscles. I kind of like them, but most of my friends think that a guy with too many muscles is unattractive because it implies that he’s self-absorbed and spends too much time at the gym. Remember, for every woman lusting over Chris Hemsworth or Chris Evans, there are just as many who have the hots for Tom Hiddleston and Tom Holland. As with a lot of things, when it comes to the personal and highly subjective matter of what people find attractive the answer is “it depends who you ask”. There are no hard and fast rules, no quick fixes and no simple tricks and anyone who tells you there is is trying to sell you something.


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RebelScientist

No, like it said, it depends on whether the combination of facial hair, facial features and overall look looks good to me. The facial hair by itself will never be a deciding factor for me, it’s just part of the whole, and whether I like it or not depends on whether it contributes to or detracts from the whole.


BoardGent

I get what you're saying, but Tom Holland is jacked


RebelScientist

I mean, you can replace Tom Holland with Benedict Cumberbatch and my point still stands. Or take it outside the MCU and look at people like James McAvoy, Martin Freeman or Matt Smith, all of whom have their dedicated fan-girls who think they’re sex on legs despite not being action-hero buff.


MuchBigNice

Probably not what you want to hear, but especially in terms of online dating where first glance appearances mean A LOT, I noticed I got substantially more matches when I grew a short beard (it’s honestly just glorified stubble) and though I was already fairly muscular by most standards, I also seemingly got much more frequent matches when I picked photos that showed off my physique more (not douchey mirror selfies, but outdoorsy photos where I happened to be shirtless). No, it’s likely not going to make a difference if someone is already interested in you or if they don’t care for either of those, it also isn’t going to replace a personality and convince someone to enter a long term relationship with you, but at least from a numbers point of view in online dating, it has some noticeable positive effects. Everybody is just a bit shallow on some level.


Aoki-Kyoku

I (24f) don’t particularly mind facial hair visually, but I don’t have strong feelings about it, however, facial hair is very uncomfortable when it comes to kissing and I really don’t like it, very painful and irritating, so for that reason I have a pretty strong preference for no facial hair.


lavender-and-lemons

It makes no difference to me. If I like you, then I like you for you as you are. I've never looked at a dude and wanted to date him for facial hair especially, and never for big muscles.


BandNervous

Personally hate beards. Feels like making out with a hairbrush.


Significant_Panic_40

Personally I am not attracted to big muscles. Mostly because I’m not really into fitness and gym culture and wouldn’t want to date someone whose personality is all about being jacked. Just think about who you’re trying to attract


Throwaway-242424

Do you have a particularly young or feminine looking face? Facial hair can be a matter of taste for women, but if either point matches, you're more likely than not for it to benefit you. No natural man will ever build enough muscle that it doesn't help with women.