My (26F) bf (26M) holds me to a higher standard than his friends. Is this normal?

A little bit of background, my bf and I have been in a relationship for about 2.5 years. We’ve both moved closer to be with each other. I notice that he always holds me to a higher standard than his friends.

For example, when he moved, he was annoyed that I couldn’t help him unload his stuff when he moved as I would be tired next day for work. One of his friends said he was busy and he didn’t mind but he was annoyed that I couldn’t help him. Another example, he got sick with Covid recently and asked me to get some stuff (he asked the previous night) before my work started but I woke up late, so couldn’t and he got annoyed at me for that too. He says he took good care of me when I had Covid (he really did, he was by my side the entire time, made me food and bought me medicines) and that he expects me to do atleast 10% of what he did. The other day, he got sad as he got into an accident (someone rear ended his vehicle) and that I wasn’t more understanding and got annoyed that I couldn’t be picked up on time. I feel like I if I don’t do something right, he gets annoyed/sad.

The thing that bothers me is that if a friend doesn’t help him, he doesn’t really care but if I don’t he gets annoyed/sad and he says that partners are different that friends. I really do love him and just because I couldn’t help/comfort him a few times doesn’t mean I’m not a good girlfriend, right?

TLDR: Bf gets annoyed when I can’t help him with stuff and holds me to a higher standard than his friends, is this normal?


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For starters, you couldn't help him move his stuff one day because you had to work the next day and helping him would have made you tired. Ohhh... you over slept so you couldn't get him medicine for his bout with covid even though he was there for you and you got upset with him for not picking you up on time from work because he was involved in a car accident. Higher standards for you because you are his girlfriend and he ain't fuckin his friends he's fuckin you. Reads to me like you don't meet him half way. And "normal" is based on one's own perception.


My first though was "yeah, but he probably also doesn't go down on his friends" ​ Seriously, if I'm sick, need a lift or a favour, I appreciate it if a friend helps out, but I don't expect it from them. A romantic partnership lasting over 2 years, and they choose to sleep in rather than to help me when I'm ill? Of course I be annoyed, especially if I'd already set the standard by doing it for my partner.


Wow. This is disrespectful


I mean…yes. Why wouldn’t it be normal? He ain’t gonna marry his friends bozo.


After 2.5 years you’re confused about why he’s hurt that you weren’t there for him ? (For what I can only distinguish to be very selfish reasons)


I think your boyfriend expects you to support him more than he expects his friends to support him. Is that a bad thing? Does he support you when you are making a life change (like moving) or when you have a bad day? Or, to think about it in a different way, what is it that you bring to the table in your relationship? Two people come together because they mutually enrich each other's lives, and develop feelings for each other along the way.


Dude, you're a dick partner. I'd dump a boyfriend who did those things to me in a heartbeat. You sound outrageously selfish. Who the fuck is annoyed that their partner was rear ended rather than be concerned for their wellbeing? Doesn't help their partner move because they'd be slightly inconvenienced? Doesn't care enough to wake up on time to make sure they can help a sick person they're supposed to love? You're held to a higher standard because you should be, just as he is in your life. God, I hope this is fake.


Your supposed to be better then the average "friend"


1. You’re his girlfriend, you’re not held as the same standards as his friends or do you want to be? Cause I’m sure he doesn’t go around kissing and fucking his friends as well and taking them on dates or is that what you want? Cause that’s the only way to keep things on an even level. 2. Even though relationships aren’t supposed to be transactional,efforts to take care and support the other person still apply. 3. You’re acting really spoiled and extremely selfish


Tell your bf to dm me so I can tell him to leave you


Yes it is absolutely normal for him to hold you to a higher standard. You (ideally) are his potential life partner, and I bet he spends more time around you than any of his friends so yes you’re held at a different standard. You are supposed to be the one person he can always count on (ignoring some exceptions like your own emergency or sickness). I once dated a guy and helped him move, gave him all my time, and he didn’t give me the same effort. He didn’t help me move later on because he had to work for 4 hours that day and was tired, but he didn’t care if I was tired from work back when I helped him move. That relationship is now over and I’ve found someone so much better. I would be careful about not giving your best to your relationship, because that will kill it.


This is how you stay just a girlfriend and eventually get demoted to an ex-girlfriend. He has every right to hold you to a higher standard. If you want the ring in the future, you better earn it.


Ngl you don't sound like a great guy, if you can't help your sick bf. You seriously gotta rethink relationships.


Huh? Yes? I don’t see the problem here…


You need to match his energy. My father always taught me that other than your kids (if someone has any) your partner is supposed to come first. Especially if you love them & the relationship is getting serious. He taught me that your partner is supposed to come first, even before friends. But then again, he’s old school & people don’t dare to marry like they used to.


The perfect girlfriend