NTA your mom's fault for not conducting a thorough cock check
Time for durability test *pulls out chainsaw*
*Hands it back* "your cock will cut"
dude one time I was having sex with my girlfriend and then in the middle she pulled off a skin face mask and it was actually the guy from the forge show and she said “your cock will kill” shit was crazy
Because American tv, I think the dude says “k.e.a.l” which stands for keep everyone alive, to my next point if my penis were given that title I would be honored.
Forged in Fire!
Yeah I'm not clicking that
Good idea, I did and regret it what the fuck
I'm tempted but I'll remain strong
If it helps quell any curiosity, when I checked it out about a week ago the first image I saw was an effeminate looking man holding his own severed cock next to the nub it used to be attached to.
oh hell no
he kinda looked like michael cerda to me
Don't, just dont
Why why why why whyw hey why whywhyehye ahhhhhhhhhhh
but will it kieel
But will it keal?
Next up on 'the hydraulic press channel'
Aren't those done in PE class?
My are done at Sunday school.
Have had sex with OP's mom and can confirm she is a cock expert 👍
It's a decent recomendation to boot. Mom knows what's up.
OP: don't waste a good box of condoms. It's not like she offered to show you how to put it on.
His arms weren't broken
Hit close to home or somethin?
I hate that fuckin story and I hate being reminded of it.
Remember this for when you break your arms and can't get off
before i even read, mine is bigger
can i have it
Hey r/teenagers did you know I have sex with my very really girlfriend and I use condoms because I love the sexy sex very much.
Is your girlfriend a woman? Do you have lots of sex? Do you have sex with her frequently? Please elaborate so I can beat my meat to this. Thanks in advance.
Yes my girlfriend which is not my pillow (I swear she is real not like last time) love to have seggsy seccs all the time .
No my girlfriend is a man
Beating your meat to teens having the seggs?
Women or r/teenagers, what was the nastiest, sexiest sexy sex sax sexy sex sex you ever did when having sexy sex?
bro really u should go on there right now and make a really cool and long post detailing every sexual interaction you have ever had, and with precise shot-for-shot detail.
Make sure to also include how your a struggling bi, have crippling depression and worst of all your cat died the other day.
that would be really funny to me
make sure to include a selfie on how you're finally recovering from stage 3 cancer
stage infinity cancer
diagnosed with DN and it's terminal :(
deez nutz lmao got em
Lmao imagine if you say that and when people call you a troll, instead of saying deez nuts you say something legitimately serious.
sexy sexy ploc ploc ploc
Hey r/teenagers one time me and my girlfriend (we are sexually active and we are sex sometimes) and she was horny and I licked her prostate?
wow pure sex
Please have sex with me also
they dont tell the size because the average r/teenagers user has a shrimp cock
I mean, they *are* mostly children.
Except the ones who aren't and just like to groom them. :|
I’m the second one :)
on a tiny dick
Why reddit uses based when seeing clearly bad comments, also based on what? On your tiny little Dick learn how to use words properly you under developed manatee troglodyte.
Based? Based on what? In your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly you dumb bitch
Thanks inforgor 💀
"OI, IMAGINE WANTIN' TA BE WUNNA THOSE CRINGE BLUE BOIZ!"
\- This post made by Da Boiz
>Why reddit uses based when seeing clearly bad comments,
Because apparently "random and quirky irony" is funny or something....
Don’t worry, I identify as nor/mal and mentally/stable
I identify as your/mom 😎😎😎
my went to fuck bedself
Im about to shit yourself
So 60% of the sub?
and people who just are there, like me lol
What if most of them are pedos in disguise to jerk off to teens?
That's what the second line was addressing.
You mean the ex-mod that was married to a pedophile?
Children should **not** be allowed on reddit.
As an ex-child who registered for everything with a fake DoB, it doesn't matter, they'd be on here whether it was allowed or not lmao.
Ex user here can confirm. Was once a fat tic tac but the moment I left it grew. Still slightly under average due to lingering effects. Don’t try r/teenagers.
that's insulting to shrimps
not true! I don't even have a cock
They are literal children lol cmon
Kinda weird to talk about the dick size of children ngl
Why do you know so much about teenagers' cock sizes?
*Dials emergency services*
"This is my favorite brand, too bad it didn't work"
I wish my parents were this understanding and supportive. My mom went though my trash, found a used condom and kicked me out, like wtf? Why were you digging though my trash (that I had already brought out to the bin)
Edit: this happened a few years ago me and my mom are on good terms now.
That's fucked up. Why would she even be mad about you having a condom. Did she even give you a chance to talk and something? If you need to talk about anything hmu
She's probably pissed you didn't use it on her
Time and a place my guy
shut up oak
Yeah go be an Oak and split
What if you were just trying it to see if you were normal down there
Totally not something I ever did
Well it was most definitely used. And she knew I had a girlfriend at the time. And that we would spend a lot of time in my room "watching movies"
Ya that’s messed up. But I think there’s a balance between digging through your trash for evidence against you, and the fucked up relationship OP has.
The fucked up part is one parent is supporting their child in a healthy way, the other is breaking trust boundaries to shame and neglect theirs for being a human.
Don't know for you but "this is my favorite brand, it works so great for me" is a little tinny bit way too supportive for me. I don't need to know how you like to get fucked mom.
Saw this in the wild and OMG couldn't imagine that
Beceause it didnt happend
of course it didnt happen, nothing ever happens ever.
Condoms aren’t even sorted by size, so that entire part of the story doesn’t check out.
Idk this story is pretty believable by internet standards.
Minus the fact they don’t come in “sizes” (sure there is one box that is “extra large” but it’s a one off variety box), skyn condoms are all non-latex, and the are all lubricated.
lmao and so many people believe it ive viewed the sub once and it was a hell hole
So you browsed r/teenagers?
It showed up in my feed because I am in the sub bc I'm a teenager
Why are you teenager that's cringe stop being a teenager
I'm sorry that I'm so sus amogus I can't help my age :(
How does reddit know you're a teenager?
r/teenagers please never change. My favorite mine of sweet, god tier cringe.
Teenagers: producing high quality cringe since the 2000s. (Not child labor I swear)
“I wonder what’s on there”
*Clicks on the subreddit*
*Literally the first post*: “I got to feel tits on my face today”
this post showed up right below the og
good pasta but unitonically feel for the guy.
As someone that does the sexy sex I can relate to the sex problem of this guy.
My Parents definitely bought me some, and it was unannounced. I didn't have the heart to tell them I was still a virgin.
omg I'm so sorry for you
Oh, that was almost 20 years ago. All good in that department now.
Skyn makes great condoms tho 👍
She made a fine choice for him!
They sure do. I have had condoms break on me, but never Skyn brand. Also, they’re non-latex, so if it turns out your date has a latex allergy, you don’t need to interrupt the activities to run to a drug store.
Yes and I feel like the male part feels a lot more than with regular condoms, also they have a great size
What a good mom
How to render your kid asexual in 10 minutes TUTORIAL 2021
r/teenagers will make you regrow your virginity if you linger too long
I mean, it *is* a subreddit.
Just by being on reddit, you can quadruple your virginity in just a month.
So that explains the top comments on this thread
Getting a second virginity is also a possibility
I mean if it’s true it’s pretty wholesome, i get that it’s can be cringe on the moment but it shows he has good relationships with his mom and that he can openly talks about these kind of things, a lot of people would wish to have these kinds of relationship with their parents
Well if you won’t fuck your mom, I will
I just left an open box in the medicine cabinet so my son could "steal" them. I replenished it regularly.
The real hero among us
Hahah the comment mine is bigger
Ok unironically tho, skyn are best condoms you can find in most stores. There are better but skyn are fucking great.
Yes, this is embarrassing. But please be Glad that your mother is sex positive and doesn't shame or guilt you or try to enforce abstinence.
My bf told me a story of his first time having sex, and the condom broke. He was able (while embarrassed) to go as his mom for advice, they got the morning after pill, it was fine.. but my father didn't attend my sister's wedding because she wasn't marrying a Christian and they had sex before marage..
My point being, while being embarrassing, please appreciate your support.
What a disturbing relationship you have with your mother. Also, how old are you that you thought she wouldn’t notice a box of condoms in her shopping cart?? You learn at like 5 years old that that trick never works. Weird as shit on so many levels.
Anyone who thinks you have to select your size condom…clearly has never bought condoms.
*WHAT BRO?! I CAN ONLY BUY MAGNUMS BECAUSE NOTHING ELSE FITS MY MASSIVE DONG PIECE!*
Tell me you don't like my girlfriend without telling me that you don't like my girlfriend?
YTA. You didn't show us you having sex with your girlfriend
Your mom bought condoms for you to have sex with your girlfriend in her house and you complained. If Mom wants to make it awkward with the “at least they are being safe” turn the tables on her. If you need help thinking of uncomfortable questions to ask her, just say the word.
r/teenagers is a mess
"it works so great for me" says the mom describing a condom brand to her son
NTA her child her rules
Conservative parents should really start adopting this strategy if they don't want their kids having sex.
It's her favorite brand because it is the cause of your birth
Why would your "gf" have to remind you you need condoms? She goes to a different school right? Probably wouldn't know her?
OP's mom is based
That kind works for her?
Sounds like mom's just being a bro. Taking care of her son's girlfriend, making her son look like a stud in the process. That's a good mom.
if this is true I applaud the open relationship. many kids I know have parents who would kick them out for even knowing what a sex is.
[nut nut shit fuck](https://paste.ee/p/ffk3E)
He was at the top but you are at the bottom,
All the bots were good until you went and shot 'em,
Everybody liked the modified pastas,
But then you fucking ruined it, you fake cummy bastard.
Cum shit nut sex fuck fuck nut nut,
Try saying something else you stupid fucking nut,
You leave a link under every single god damn post,
But you are a liar, an impostor at the very god damn most.
Oh cummy, where art thou?
We all need you right now,
Your banishment was an attack; it left us all hobblin',
And now all we have is this fake cummy goblin.
Cummy 9999 is a malicious harmer,
Commenting everywhere for some arbitrary karma,
This fake cummy is an enemy without a face,
The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race.
I am cry
I shidded and farded a d cummed all ober
Where were you when cummy was kil
Hopefully he can use them to cover up his casts in the shower
That subreddit is an absolute goldmine for finding 1 inch cockholders
Skyn fucking blows, wayyy to small. Good for children i guess.
dude just get a smaller dick
Oh that's a good brand though.
So the point of the story is dads not in the house huh
Is condom sizes a US thing? I'm fairly well endowed (not huge) and I get by fine with regular condoms, I can't see it being an issue if it was bigger either.
I guess on the extreme ends of the spectrum like sub 3 inch or bigger than 9inch night need something special but that can't be too many people..
The main issue is really girth rather than length.
At one point in every males life, unless they were born by C-section, their penis was in their moms vagina.
“Favorite brand. Works best for me.” Uncalled for mom. Too far.
Your mom did nothing wrong here. Her behavior could be considered a cool move, even.
It sucks when your mom buys xl condoms but you're to scared to tell her they don't make them small enough for you
Your mom's just looking out, those are probably the best kind.
I mean, that’s a good condom. It’s my favorite too
Sounds like your mom wanted condoms for you and her...
How to understand without gender and age numbers?
not hitting it raw is your first mistake
"Stepmother! What are you doing?!"
skyn is a great brand tbh, me and my partner use it and it’s my favorite
your mum is cool
Deadass though. That'd be a pretty cool mom 😂 Most parents dont want to accept that their teenage child is sexually active, so they grow up without proper sex knowledge and the right preparations. (EX; condoms, birth control.) A lot more kids would be better off if more parents did this.
And Im not saying I think all these teenagers out here should be having sex at such a young age. Its just a fact that teens are having intercourse a lot younger then per say forty years ago. I just think that, if they're gonna do it anyway, they should at least be prepared.