Im 15 and just found out both my parents are cheating on each other and I’m not going to tell anyone
By - 15anddeadinside
You don’t think your parents know that each of them are fooling around do you? Some people do that when they aren’t happy in relationship to save face in some aspects socially or to “hold family together “ or something. Idk just saying. May be more to it than u know. Good luck
My parents have long accused each other of it and it has lead to many fights, police called etc. And I’m fully prepared to accept that the upholding of their relationship is fake, I’m just leaning towards the idea that they don’t know because the accusations died down years ago and now they don’t accuse each other of it however make sly comments under their breath. The more I think the more I think that my dad might know, but I know for sure my mum doesn’t know abt my dad because shes never accused him of it and she’s straight up said that my dad doesn’t have the balls and he’s a man of Christ, which is now shown to be bullshit. it’s not a social thing because neither of them really have active social lives, for a frame of ref eve my dad hasn’t been to a social event with his friends in the last 6-7 years.
Sounds like they have their own issues sorry you’re in the middle of it. Try and remember that they are people too and lots of folks do some fucked up stuff for whatever reason. I’m not condoning it but also they are your parents and the only ones you have. As shitty as they may be if the worst they are doing is this idk if it’s worth disowning them. You’re still young You May regret not having something to do with them later. People are people parents or not. People do crazy shit Good luck
Again you are way too harsh..if he knew and put up with it...why doesn't deserve a woman to love him...you are a child wrapped up in how they hurt you...as an adult you will see things differently....stop making it about you...it isn't and the Bible says the way you judge others will be used against you...stop being so harsh..
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The bible says a lot of often nonsensical things. It is not a good guide for morality
Unfortunately, you gotta worry about yourself in this situation. Do what’s best for you in the long term.
I’m scared of what the repercussions for my school life and sport would be. I’d lose my sort and I’m not sure how I’d deal with moving between parents. I’m just so stressed abt it all and am not actually sure what’s best for me.
You’re 15…everything is and should be hard and stressful for you. Recognize that. That’s the way of your brain. You don’t need to figure it out now, you just gotta take everything second by second, minute by minute, hour by hour, and so on.
Thanks for the advice man. Life’s really hard with exams right around the corner and all of this. I’m thinking I just need a week to think things through and decide on my next steps. Right now I can feel myself being reactionary and I know that’s a negative thing to do, so thank you for this advice.
You don’t have a next step, you are not their marriage counselor, psychologist, or therapist. Just do you, and forget about their personal issues. Just be 15, and completely ignore their bullshit. Ultimately it isn’t your problem and you definitely can’t fix it.
Currently, I’m trying, I really am. But it’s tough, being 15 is difficult when I’m asked to cook dinner and breakfast on a regular basis, clean, study, practice my sport. My social life has waned in recent times as responsibilities have become more and more prevalent, I have not hung out with friends outside of school for months.
You do have options. I'm not going to speculate on which option (if any) of these you should take.
You can claim ignorance and just carry on with your business and ignore it to the best of your ability. This is a dangerous one for this reason: its very easy to set your default defense mechanism to ignoring, which won't serve you well in adulthood. Ask me how I know lol. If you keep that in mind on a daily basis, that this is not the normal way to handle issues, you could be fine.
You could also go nuclear and sit them both down, explain that they are both cheating on each other. Tell them to grow up and act like adults and handle their shit instead of letting you deal with being in the middle of it. Pretty obvious how this can go wrong in numerous ways. Parents could fight about it more severely than what you've already described. This will obviously shake up what little stability you currently have in your home life.
Unfortunately, anyone telling you what you should do ultimately doesn't know and couldn't know every way this could effect you in both short and long term. Hell, even you can't know that, despite being the most likely person to be correct. This is a decision you'll have to make for yourself. Just do your best to think about it beforehand and try not to make impulsive decisions. Try not to obsess over it either, though. Despite being directly effected by the issue, it isn't your burden to sort it out. That is your parents responsibility.
This comment is the best comment
Not saying this is the case, but it is possible they agreed to seeing other people
It isn't. Look at their replies. Seems toxic af.
That is quite unfortunate
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. It might be that they both know and have an open relationship that isn’t cheating. Unfortunately, this makes a lot of hurt piled onto you. Maybe you can set them both down and unload this off of your chest so that you don’t feel the burden. It’s for them to deal with, not you. None of this is your fault or a reflection of how they feel about you. Humans are so weird. You’re loved. Please, talk to them, together. Holding onto this is not healthy.
I also thought it might be an open relationship but in their response to a comment they explain about fights and accusations, it sounds toxic.
I can almost guarantee you that their relationship is not open. My parents have always found open relationships to be a ‘stupid’ and a ‘horrid sin’ of sorts and have always preached to me about how bad it is. They have often times accused each other as previously mentioned in another comment and they havent exactly been calm about it. And yeah, I might talk to them about it but I’m just so scared that it will end their marriage and effectively the stability of my life.
If you don't want to get depressed and get stuck In your bed maybe you should hang out a lot with friends and stay away from your home during the day. Try to not fuck up your integrity though. Do your homeworks with your friends and focus on the brightside.
Unfortunately as I mentioned we have incredibly strict locks restrictions currently and it means I can’t see my friends. I’m missing them so much. And yeah, I can’t really afford to fuck up my school work cause I’m a top 15 student in my age bracket. It’s gonna be easy to lose myself In schoolwork with exams just around the corner.
You could seriously use this knowledge to your advantage. Christmas is right around the corner 😉
Unfortunately, I’m someone who likes to have good morals, and this idea would come back to bite me in the arse real quick. I don’t really want much for Christmas anyways other than some new clothes.
Maybe they are just staying together for you kids. Possibly they will divorce as soon as they are empty nesters. Must be very hard for you and your brother, but that relationship is not working and the sooner it ends the better off for everyone. There is nothing worst than being in a relationship that is not working, The only reason you are in it is because you feel that you have obligations. It sucks...
Are you sure they're both cheating as opposed to having an open relationship?
What if they have what's called an 'open marriage' ?
Maybe they are waiting until their children are old enough to understand...sometimes live doesn't last forever...stop being so judgmental...if they know you know...they may go ahead and end it...
Give your grandparents a break. They’re not doing anything wrong.
Lmao not doing anything wrong??? Give the kid a break Jesus
Omg get a grip
why haven't you started blackmailing them for Christmas gifts and shit
Nobody has to take a test to be a parent.
Are they mentally or physically abusive to you? Are you safe?
If you're safe and your morals are conflicted, try to have an "at arms length" relationship with them. In short that means being kind and respectful to them, but limiting the emotional connection you let yourself have with them.
Nobody is perfect and a lot of history has happened between your parents that you are not aware of. That doesn't make cheating okay, but they have a relationship between each other that is different than the one they have with you both as individuals and as a parental unit.
Yes I’m safe, my parents don’t abuse me, the closest it gets is constant berating and abuse for being mildly overweight which was caused by lots of stress eating a while ago, which I’ve now worked hard to almost get rid of. Yes, morals are conflicted but I still feel like normalcy is the way to go, upholding of the status quo, and I don’t want to be this kid, I want to be a ‘normal child’ but alas. That arms length relationship has already started for me because I am a naturally private person anyways. I think it’s probably a good idea to be less emotionally open and revealing too, so thanks for that advice.
You sound like Timmy
I promise they know, maybe not the specific but when you’re in a relationship for that long you just know. But I hope u don’t think it has anything to do with you :(
If you found out about it then I'm sure they know it about eachother
that’s good nobody like a snitch
You should blackmail both of them
They may be immoral however I do not wish to be
What if they’re in an open marriage and you just don’t know ?
good for you then.but,if I were you I would collect evidence as ammo for when you might need it
It's good that you're wise enough to let sleeping dogs lie. Let them sort out their own problems. Some day you'll learn for yourself that "morality" is usually more complicated than in Disney fairy tales.