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bazpaul

Terrible to be honest. Another depressing year living with covid


PizzaFriez

I was finally able to make it to bike repairing club at school but right afterwards the timetable for choirs and ensembles comes up and there are now choir rehearsals at the same time as bike club. As a music scholar whos main thing is singing I'm kinda obliged to go to it which is so annoying because I was really looking forward to learning to build bikes and hang out more with my engineering friends.


CasualBrit5

I don’t know if this is allowed here. Please feel free to remove it. Everything just feels so fucking horrible. I keep reading all these news articles about how climate change is getting worse and we’ve caused irreversible changes and the seas are going to rise and destroy things and ecosystems are collapsing and no one is doing anything about it and it feels like this is just the end of the world. Why do I have to have this happen to me? I’m only 16. Why am I being born into a world where everything good is just collapsing and won’t be around by the time I’m 40? I keep seeing everyone continuing to live their lives as normal and I just feel so horrible because it feels like none of this matters at all and we should all just be permanently depressed over this. A few days ago I was happy and had faith in humanity and optimistic that we could solve this and now I’m just in a permanent cycle of numb and sad about this. It just feels like there’s no point to doing anything. And I can’t tell people about this because my mum is hard at work doing university and my dad is supporting her. I sometimes just feel nauseous over all this. I used to be positive about movements for equality and social justice but now it just feels like the whole thing is fucking pointless if we’re all going to die slowly anyway. I can’t feel the energy to do anything; work, chores, try to stop this. I’m so envious of everyone else because they get to have normal teenage developments and lives where they watch movies and read books and joke around while I feel like I’m just destined to panic my whole life. Is this really just it?


Nerfair15

Stuck with Covid, so not great


MrClash8738

Same


chunky_dunkin

I’m coming off of anti-depressants (because they had nasty side effects) and I can’t seem to control me feelings. My wife is awesome but I go from wanting to cry to being perfectly happy and it sucks. Just needed to vent.


Standbymemes

Thats so rough, sounds like going back to being a teenager, I hope you find equilibrium. Ive found that if im down, i just accept it and ride the wave, its so hard though. Good luck x


MarshMallowShark

Hey bros. I'm just getting back on reddit after 7 years or so and thought this would be a good place to start at. I hope everyone had a good Christmas and New Years. Right now I'm struggling with how to cope with the same daily grind of college classes with inconsistent lifting schedule and slowly separating from all my old high school friends. Anyone able to lend some wisdom or insight on my situation? Much appreciated.


LosBruun

I visited a former school-mate of mine in the psych ward earlier this week, after not having seen him for 6 years. Involuntary institutionalization because of paranoid schizophrenia, either triggered or made apparent by him getting clean. Like literally deranged when I visited. I think he'd been jumping from homeless shelter to homeless shelter for the last 4 years, and I'm so happy they took action and had him checked into the psych ward. He's mid-late twenties but looks in his fifties, totally ruined his body. I could make this out to be a "don't do drugs, kids"-post, but I totally get why he did: A fucked up childhood, then getting no freedom in the foster-system, only to get zero guidance from the moment he turned 18. I'm just so mad that he never got a chance, and probably never will. However I'm deeply impressed by the way psych nurses and doctors work; no force or trickery, just persistent nudging to get something akin to informed consent to e.g. eating or taking their pills.


oblivionnNPC

You know steady decline


_HappyMaskSalesman_

Well first day of 2022, I get diagnosed with ADHD at age 31, my father texts me that he wants nothing to do with me, find out my sister is dying in the hospital because she has hep C hand has been drinking non-stop for the last few months, and my 5 year old just tested positive for Covid. Hope this doesn't set the tone for the year. Weeee.


SlurmsMcKenzie4

I'm really sorry to hear about all that. If it helps at all, I was diagnosed at 28 last year and have found medication to be going pretty well for me and knowing a bit more about yourself and how your brain works is definitely a big eye opener. It doesn't get easy immediately, and most days I really wish I didn't have this condition but I'm better off than I was this time last year. Hope you'll get some better days soon.


_HappyMaskSalesman_

Thanks, thankfully I'm learning my parents are scumbags so no real loss there, and my kid had a fever for one night and got immediately better. I tried strattera for a few days and while the clarity was immediate and amazing, it was making sexy times a little painful so I stopped yesterday. I have another appointment with my psychiatrist in 3 weeks, so I'll bring it up with her then!


DepressedOctopus8

Started opening up more to my loved ones so that’s an improvement. Also trying to eat healthier. It’s tough but I’ll get there.


InsertS3xualJokeHere

I could not be doing better! My crush said yes when I asked her out, I’ve been eating more healthily, I’ve been exercising more consistently, I’ve been progressing decently well with my German lessons, and when I went clothes shopping yesterday I had to get pants there were a size smaller around the waist. It’s been a great month and an even better week for me so far.


heretruthlies

Congrats!


Cautious-Whereas-467

I'm nervous. I wanna sleep all day. I've been unemployed for more than 2 years, while my friends are working and dating and traveling. I jack off way too much, too. Suicidal thoughts. Oh yeah, I'm the cancer guy. Fuck this pandemic, fuck thia virus, this capitalist society, where as a man, first you perform, then you are a person.


neakfrasty

Happy new year bros! I could be better, as I’m sick and waiting on a COVID test, but I’m with my partner whom I love and the future looks bright. Struggling with a little general anxiety but no real troubles to speak of. I am taking deep breaths and reminding myself everything will be okay.


ResistingPanicAttack

glad to hear bro, wish you the best


neakfrasty

Thank you bro, you too


bi-and-r3ady-to-cry

Decent i guess but could be better trying to stay positive!


_Brother-O-Mine_

Not good bro, been sick for a while and m sure I’m gonna die or some shit. Constant anxiety attacks, vomiting and coughing, I just wanna chill but then I go into a depressive spiral. Think about past traumas and the sexual assault I just learnt about, I think about slitting my wrists just to make the thoughts stop but I know from experience that I’m too physically weak to do it. Mentally I’ve been basically a child, just to try and escape the mental anguish, the itching feeling of disgust that creeps over my skin and into the pit of my stomach. I woke up covered in piss again. Mortifying to explain that yes, I pissed myself again, to my mum. Over this time I have gained a seething visceral hatred for everything and anything pedophile related, I want to murder the man who did this to me. Fantasies about how I’d hurt him, I’d rape him just like he did me and then let him bleed out because fuck that bastard.


killertortilla

Massive phobia of spiders, I managed to get a hand sized huntsmen out of my house over a 5 or so hour battle from 1am-6am. I am severely depressed and agoraphobic (all diagnosed by multiple psychologists and GP's) so it's hard to manage extra fears. I contacted the (text based) suicide helpline during all of that to tell them I was terrified and felt like I was going to die. I got completely ignored by them after they asked 2 questions so that really didn't help. Finally got the spider out, then decided I needed to clean my room finally. I got the regular apartment cleaner to help me so now it's all nice and clean. Boom another spider of the same size. I killed that one (sorry buddy) but I'm now doing my best to keep my room clean. The day after the second spider I pulled the oven door off one of the hinges so now I can't use that until we get a new one. Other than that, not doing too bad.


AuthenticSpace

That's an eventful few days! I hate spiders/bugs too and totally sympathize. I have only had to deal with smaller ones and even those are a challenge, so I relate. I mostly just try to let them be if they stick to the corner of the ceiling or something like that. But when they don't, we got a problem. Glad you handled it!


killertortilla

Yeah I was panicking when I first saw it, but I thought if I left it alone it would be ok so I tried to fall asleep. And just as I was about to drift off the little shit jumped onto my foot.


AuthenticSpace

Instant heart attack.


WhiteAsh00

Holy fucking shit that's nightmare fuel


jvsupersaiyan

This is making me sweat


LosBruun

Shiii... bro. I'm so sorry to hear that you had a bad experience with the suicide helpline. So glad to see that you're still here, mate. I won't put it past you if you kill spiders in the future, to make it a shorter process. The life of a spider is not worth several hours of anxiety for you. Fortunately there are a lot of great dishes you can make without an oven, but it definitely sucks with your oven as well. I hope all the best for you in this new year


grusel_cookie

ANXIETY No real threat, I know that, and my life is good. But uni is stressing me the hell out and I feel like therapy is not really working - I can play my conversations with my therapist in my head, after one year of talking to her I already know exactly what she will say to me, I have to work on myself to get better and I know the steps but it's so big and exhausting. I'm thinking about changing my degree - I did a bachelors in computer science and I think I might do a math master instead of cs. Or start working. Do literally anything else instead of this horrible covid-uni-limbo I'm in for the last two years. I think changing to maths won't really change anything, really. Idk. Happy new year everybody.


ResistingPanicAttack

applying to universities right now, and since i am stupid i waited until about a week before the deadline to really start working. I think im doing reasonably well, but not my best, and since I live in a foreign country my only chance to study in everything im applying to is through a scholarship which seems to be difficult to get this year. overall I feel overworked but im not working hard enough, and if i lose an opportunity to study abroad and start a career early on because i was late to a deadline i dont know how i would forgive myself for that, im a little lost bros.... but im hopeful!


ForgedYetBroken

A bit downtrodden since every sub other than this one with a pill in the name reminds me of how fucked up gender politics has gotten.


littedemon

Had a nice new years eve alone. Videocalled the girl I'm dating around 00:30 and we agreed that we're gonna make 2022 our year so I'm happy! Other then that just very overstimulated but it will pass soon.


mexicanpenguin-II

New job a few weeks ago, I've gone from homeless to having a flat with room for a pool table and training as a gm/acting as it in a pub in 3 months Gone from being held back by politics in a chain to writing my hours and owning my shit at work in a year


Its_Bull

In 2022 so far: 1. Got COVID 2. Long term GF broke up with me out of nowhere Great start.