T O P
TonyM_428

Why does Bill keep pushing the “could this be Brady’s last game” narrative? You of course can’t be shocked when Brady decides he wants to walk away because of his age, but what possibly has unfolded this year that could shape this as a potential thought?


popthatrunk

You’re discounting the whole Antonio brown betrayal factor piece


PRsAndDR

Mr. Betrays Confidence


thetruthdispener

And the his son is in high school angle


johnmd20

His son is in high school "thing". :)


ForgetHype

I think this would fall in the "piece" category.


gains_

“Brady just kinda looked around at Antonio Brown and the rest of his team and was like…these guys…these guys aren’t the same breed as the guys I used to have back in New England. Where’s my Moss? Where’s my Kyle Brady? If you guys can’t get me Deion Branch, I’m out - I’m sorry but I just am! The millennial wide receiver piece just kinda took its toll on him in Tampa and I think it’s the first time we’ve really seen something like this. Bruce Arians has only been a head coach for, what, less than 10 years? These millennial, super diva type guys are all he knows! If Brady stays in New England, I think genetically Belichick just kind of understands the type of guys you need to surround Brady with.”


Sportbear

I think there is a pretty strong reason for that. Bill simply likes to be ahead of things. So when he pushes this narrative for 2-3 weeks he will come out of this thing as the "winner" if it happens. "I called it weeks ago".


ka1982

It’s especially dumb because the reason no one else is talking about it is pretty obvious: Brady expressly and publicly talked about playing until he was 45 (as they mentioned), he’s currently 44, and he’s still playing at an elite level. No one thinks someone like that is just going to give up when he’s that close to a goal everyone thought was insane or a joke when he said it.


CAAZL

Just a guess, but maybe because the longer Brady remains in the NFL and is successful, the worse it might look for the Patriots in a sense. Bill usually pushes narratives that he wants to have happen, and Brady playing at a high level for a few more years and winning another super bowl or two while the Pats remain barely above average is not something he wants to see (even if most pats fans seem happy enough for Brady's success on the Bucs).


micoud04

It makes no sense at all. He has always maintained that his goal was to play until he's 45 (his age 45 season is next season) and then he will decide whether he'll continue or not. His contract also ends after next season, can't see him leaving the Bucs hanging like that. And he said he retires when he isn't a championship level player anymore. He still is. It actually makes a bit of sense that he might he retire after next season. Contract expired and the tough schedule (look it up, it's likely very difficult) might see them below 10 wins. Edit: Also surely someone as competitive Brady looks at Rodgers playing so well at 38 years old and might think "let's push this as far as I can to ensure that I keep the longevity records for a while". The 17th game and the heavy passing game these days give all these other QBs a chance.


ID0ntCare4G0b

Hell man, people always reference the time he said the 45 thing, but I also recall him talking about wanting to beat the George Blanda record, who was 48 when he retired.


Legitimate-Emu-1294

I haven't heard the pod yet, are you serious?!, this will be the third time. I don't know why Bill is being so redundant and pushing this.


TonyM_428

Yep. Now it’s even in a [tweet](https://twitter.com/billsimmons/status/1484398411428237312?s=21) promoting the podcast


FiredGuy123

Seth Wickersham and a few other writers have been pushing that for a couple weeks now. Not sure if Bill’s and others are just hedging off him but rumors of Brady retiring after the playoffs have definitely crept into the ether. And that’s definitely unusual for someone like Brady, his camp doesn’t let things get out and fester like this.


ThugBeast21

Ninkovich said the same thing on ESPN yesterday as well


CatDad69

He wants to be right. If Brady quits he can say “see in a genius!” If he’s wrong he’ll pretend he never said it and never address it. It’s Bill 101


mkay0

Every sports talk radio guy ever, tbf


hacky_potter

Also at this point you might as well guess every year


fuber

He's trying to wish it into existence


ahbets14

You’re not factoring in the Bruce Arians hitting his teammate piece


[deleted]

I wish every guest gave bill As much shit as Ariel did in the first 10 minutes


SJ_Taragon

“You’re good friend Dana White” lmao Bill instantly tried to back away from that narrative.


Spankapotamus

I never heard of this guy before, but now I’m a fan.


westcoasthoops1

It was definitely refreshing, especially compared to what Schrager offers.


GoldenFrank

Let's go


Time-to-get-off-here

And now he won’t be back on the pod for a while


jbags5

He’s with Fennessey in timeout corner


NoExcuses1984

It's a good life. Anyone who pushes back he can wish away into the cornfield.


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hawkeyemidwood

The ringer needs more in house beefs.


NoExcuses1984

Very bad man Verno giving Bill immense grief for his ultra-biased pro-KD/anti-Russ MVP take (way back in 2017!) was USDA prime Ringer beef. Need more of the baby-faced, deep-voiced Simmons slayer on the B.S. pod, enough with the sycophantic ass-kissing, brown-nosing, butt-licking rimjobs from the rest of The Ringer NBA crew.


robert_3219

"This Celtics season has only been a half shit show compared to the Lakers" "The Lakers put all the chips in the Davis thing and only get 1 title" Celtics 23-23, Lakers 22-23 Celtics 1 title in 35 years, Lakers 8 in 35 years


iloveappendicitis

"The Celtics put all the chips in the KG and Ray Allen thing and only get 1 title"


The_Summer_Man

But will treat it like it was 8.


aoiefoaiwe

Celtics titles mean more. They just do.


jmbourn45

SEC 🤝 Celtics It means more


Tinder4Boomers

Because of the Ainge thing, obviously. Can’t believe you could forget the Mormon factor.


jshhdhsjssjjdjs

You’re missing Boston’s “almost titles” in 2012, 2017, 2018, and 2020 though.


pike360

Hahaha


jbeebe33

Lakers: Staying afloat, biding time until superstar comes back from injury, still in contention for 5/6 seed Celtics: Everybody healthy, in danger of not even making the play-in tournament But yeah, the Lakers are way more of a shit show lol /s


ChauftyOne

came here to say THIS


redditburner24

Just put Josh Allen in the shotgun. It’s all the Bills have to do to win. The shotgun piece!


Jones3787

*Josh*


ksx25

Flabbergasted that Belichik didn’t take away the shotgun piece.


cowboysfan88

Just do the turn him into a running back thing


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thetruthdispener

“Rodgers always scores over 21. Guess what, in Rodgers 23 playoff games how many times has he scored 21 or more” “Idk over half” “23”


CreamWeekly8490

Laughed so hard at that


TrimboliHandjobs

Even if Bill hadn’t said the first part, half is a terrible guess haha.


LooksLikeDennisFranz

Bill not even privately responding to Ariel’s Greenroom invitation after Pats/Bills, what a baby lol


goodmourning412

Today I learned Odell Beckham is a watered plant and Derrick Henry is a repaired car.


jskdkssn

Love how Pats defense was set to thrive in the Cold last week but this week Allen didn’t have the most impressive performance because it was against a bad defense


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westcoasthoops1

Bill now suddenly saying that it was a Pats rebuilding year.....after picking them to win the Super Bowl earlier this year.


Riggs_n_Murtaugh

Josh Allen’s performance wasn’t “high stakes” enough either because Pats aren’t winning the SB (preseason prediction) and they’re playing w a bunch of guys in defense who won’t be there next year. He’s so fucking lame sometimes and this is one of those times.


Tinder4Boomers

How on earth does Schrager get paid to be a football analyst with takes like “I think there’s a lot of emotions of guys in LA who have worked for Tampa and the fact that McVay and Morris would love to get a victory against this team” Bragging about how plugged in he is with the Rams, like wtf are you talking about. Everyone wants to win in the playoffs. Let’s go, let’s Go


Iggleyank

Bill tends to obsess over things like that too, coming up with narratives about how a certain player or team “really wants it.” This is what they do for a living! Of course they really want to win. People who make it to the pinnacle of a sport tend to be the types of competitive lunatics who can’t bear to lose a round of Battleship. And it’s not even just about ego. Lose too much and you get fired.


LonerLifePath7

Did this dude really say on Million Dollar Picks if you take into account last year's playoffs he's up $5.3 million? That is how you know he's all time bad. Pull the plug on the segment, Bill.


BullLoney

Going to listen to this at Jiffy Lube while I get my oil cleaned


Tel3visi0n

i’m coming back to comment again because this segment on Brady retiring might be one of the worst segments Bills done in a long time. And that’s saying something.


popthatrunk

I love so much how he talked about him retiring for 7 straight minutes before giving it a 33% chance of actually happening.


Rampant_Confusion

“People didn’t factor that in, that Tom’s a great family man” 🤮🤮


scottrstark

Dana White and MMA are the perfect examples of the evil of monopoly power. The fighters are ridiculously underpaid.


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ColeBeasleyMD

Class solidarity


scottrstark

Yep, wouldn’t touch it!


Jones3787

Whew, Bill is so out on Kyler now. "That becomes like the Russell Westbrook contract, potentially" re: the Cards possibly paying him $40 million per year 😂 Says if he were Arizona, he'd take the deal in an instant if someone offered three first-rounders for Kyler (which Schrager says is the market if they were to trade him). I'd be having a meeting about it tbh.


21rise

he really compared it to westbrook? geez, he forgot that Kyler Murray is still freakin 24 and NFL contracts are never fully guaranteed like NBA contracts are? That said, I think I might trade Murray for 3 first rounders though. Given his size, it's hard seeing him staying healthy for a full season and playoff run.


Jones3787

Yeah, I feel like Bill has no idea how value works in the NFL. Even if you can't win a Super Bowl with Kyler, someone will easily talk themselves into his potential, and like you said, he's still very young (and a 24-year-old Westbrook would have the same kind of value! the issue is he's 32 and declining!). Most teams have worse QBs and it's so hard to find someone who can even dream of the 5-8 game stretches of brilliance that Kyler has shown. That said, agreed I'd at least consider it if you really can get that much. I'm not super confident in him long-term and this is multiple years of injuries. If you tell him to stay in the pocket and never run, then he wouldn't be the same dynamic playmaker anymore. Arizona will never do that though, of course -- he's their guy and there's too much on the line if your replacement plan fails or you never get a real star QB


HoustonFrog

Arizona has come a long way since Bill picked them to be in the Super Bowl with the Dolphins.


Jones3787

Ahaha I still can't believe he through that out there based on an Arizona radio broadcast of the game. Gambling has really warped his brain, wanting to take like a 100-1 longshot or whatever it was for two teams that ended up missing the playoffs lol. Also, he STILL doesn't realize that rookie QBs (Tua in that case, Mac this year) don't make the Super Bowl.


myredditlogin2022

It's hard to blame Bill for this. I mean, if the Cards trade Kyler they should be able to just go from one franchise QB to another like Brady to Mac ^/s


Jones3787

ahaha just do the Belichick thing!


GiveMeSomeIhedigbo

"Sometimes it sucks it when you’re betting on Kyler Murray and you can kinda realize, Oh shit this guy’s 5’10"


Jones3787

loool what a line that was. the batted down passes thing!


[deleted]

Bill spent the first 5 min of the Packers segment talking about special teams and how the 49ers are every bit as good. Didn’t mention Rodgers, Adams, or anything good about them. It’s comical at this point


spaghettisexicon

They kept referencing the game between the two teams from three years ago. The 49ers defense was dominant that year, it was only the first year of the post-McCarthy Packers, the Packers had a completely different defensive coordinator, it was an away game, and half that roster isn’t even on the team anymore… It’s fine if anybody thinks the 49ers will win this game, but there’s practically no relevance to that game three years ago, let alone the Kaepernick years that they kept bringing up too. I honestly think Bill despises Aaron Rodgers at this point and will come up with any reason to bet against the Packers because of it lol. He’s been doing it all season and look where they are.


[deleted]

At one point said the packers aren’t built for a game in 12 degree weather, then later said that Mahomes is using the media as motivation “bc everyone is just locking in Niners Bills” lol he’s gone completely off the rails when it comes to Rodgers and the Packers


nnalic

Lol had to come back to this comment cus you gave him shit but the game literally came down to special teams 💀💀


[deleted]

Unlike Bill, not afraid to admit that I was wrong. Rodgers is a clown


bbmarco

Fun moment when he lists all the QBs that have beaten Rodgers in the playoffs: "Eli Manning twice."


howmanypintobeans

Must’ve been thinking of Brady


Riggs_n_Murtaugh

then Bill said "but that was before the SB" which I have no idea what the fuck he's talking about


[deleted]

I didn’t think it was possible but this was Schraeger’s worst week by far. The ass kissing and Rams bias at an all time high


MasterCav

“I’m throwing away week 3 when the packers beat the 49ers” Next sentence: “Guess who beat Aaron Rodgers 2 years ago? Jimmy G!” I love when bill talks himself into his bets


to_b3_kind

What is the point of having a playoff manifesto to follow if you can always find an exception that applies to every rule


GoldenFrank

Free real estate for the 7 hours of content you need to produce each week while doing 0 prep.


LebHeadSinceWilma

**Million Dollar Picks** \- Divisional Round **Titans (-3.5)** vs. Bengals (-110) ---400K **49ers (+5.5)** at Packers (-110) --- 200K **Chiefs (-1.5)** vs. Bills (-115) --- 100K **Rams (+3)** at Buccaneers (-120) --- 100K **Moneyline Parlay** (+366) --- 75K * 49ers to win * Titans to win **Alternate Spread Parlay** (+170) --- 50K * 49ers (+7.5) * Rams (+4.5) **Titans Same Game Parlay** (+829) --- 50K * Titans (-9.5) * AJ Brown - Anytime TD scorer * AJ Brown - over 74.5 receiving yards **Rams Same Game Parlay** (+5654) --- 10K * Rams Defense - First TD scorer * Rams to win **49ers Same Game Parlay** (+886, boosted to +950) --- 33K * 49ers (+7.5) * Elijah Mitchell - over 59.5 rushing yards * Deebo Samuel - over 24.5 rushing yards * Jauan Jennings - Anytime TD scorer # Results: * Bet: 1.018MM * Net: –130.9K * Season: ( +334K —> +203.1K ) * Titans (-3.5) — **LOSS (-400K)** * 49ers (+5.5) — **WIN (+181.8K)** * Rams (+3) — **WIN (+83.3K)** * Chiefs (-1.5) — **WIN (+87K)** * Moneyline Parlay — **LOSS (-75K)** * Alternate Spread Parlay — **WIN (+85K)** * Titans Same Game Parlay — **LOSS (-50K)** * 49ers Same Game Parlay — **LOSS (-33K)** * Rams Same Game Parlay — **LOSS (-10K)** ​ [Wild Card Weekend](https://www.reddit.com/r/billsimmons/comments/s3c3t3/jimmy_gs_last_stand_staffords_swoon_and_round_1/hskrqzq)


qballLobk

Feels like a week you could fade Bill’s picks and do well.


cougar112233

Thank you for these recaps, saves me from having to listen. Betting $1MM+ just reinforces how dumb of a segment this is, an infinite budget. Super exposed to 49ers - not surprising given his disdain for Rodgers. If they lose by 8 or more then he is down $300k+ instantly. Reminiscent of early this year when he tied the Patriots into everything rather than just betting more on the Patriots by themself.


toerazor

He’s down 525k after first game. Wow.


Longjumping-Dot-4149

He only got one right.


Guy__Jones

I have three of the same teams winning as Bill, should I be concerned?


ksx25

I know, I kind of like his bets this week. I’m worried.


KingPinot25

I’m suprised “Don’t bet against the best QB in the conference at home” isn’t in Bill’s manifesto


LBJ418

Today I learned that people were meaner before the internet.


Iggleyank

Yes indeed. The world sure did get nicer as soon as everyone developed a way to spout off whatever thoughts they had to the world anonymously. This is where his tendency to use the royal “we” gets on my nerves. “We didn’t know any better!” No Bill, you were a standard-issue twentysomething dumbass who viewed pro athletes as your toys, and you’d mock the ones that lost games as if it was a moral failing. Now he’s not alone in that. Most of us are guilty of such behavior when we’re younger. But eventually you mature, and if you’re in Bill’s position, you get to meet some of these athletes and know them as people. And yet Bill doesn’t even recognize his own individual maturity. He invents an idea that it’s some big societal change. Because at his core, Bill thinks his experience is the only one anyone has.


ColeBeasleyMD

One of the worst takes - among many- from this pod.


Jones3787

Bill really thought 'Henry getting some time off might be a good thing if he's fully healthy now" was worth a *turn the camera on*. Maybe this is why their social media presence sucks so much.


goodmourning412

Whenever he says this I know Kyle must be so tired of the joke


PhatCbass76

What is the joke, exactly? I’m admittedly dumb about this - so they can post a segment?


Jones3787

Yeah, if you go to the Ringer's twitter, they post video versions of pod segments sometimes, 2-3 minute clips, which Bill retweets to promote it. It's basicaly just to promote the pod. The "turn the camera on" is dumb because I'm pretty sure they record video of the pod the whole time, he's just saying to mark this spot tor a "breakout video" that will go on social media. It's corny and Bill usually thinks he's pointing out a bold take or something that stands out, when often it's something like this lukewarm "Henry will be well-rested" take


ksx25

It’s a Bill joke so it’s not funny: anytime bill thinks he has something interesting to say he always excitedly tells Kyle to turn the camera on. It’s just a consistent thing he does.


MartytheeParty

This man is now including last years record with this years because he’s doing badly 😂😂 It’s gonna be 2027 and he’ll still be including his wins in 2020 in his numbers


The_Zermanians

I batted .900 in T-Ball, you’re saying I cannot could count this towards my high school batting average?


Jones3787

No mention of the Lions or the Jets among the most tortured NFL fanbases?


Time-to-get-off-here

Seems like the Jets are forever overlooked for this. They probably wouldn’t come to my mind either honestly. Maybe because they aren’t the lone team in their area? Idk


Hefty-Extension2860

People forget the Jets went to the playoffs 7 times and won 7 playoff games between 1998-2010. The last decade plus and overall history of the franchise is pretty miserable, but Jets fans 30 and over saw a run of success a lot of the other low tier franchises haven’t seen in a much longer time.


Rihotter

I was thinking the same thing. It’s clear the Lions are the most tortured fan base because they were forgotten in the ‘NFL Most Tortured Fan Base’ piece where their several time Super Bowl and NFC championship game participant division brethren participated.


Montag3636

“Go to the mechanic to get your oil cleaned…”


bthrr

Must be a bmw thing


PhatCbass76

Looked for his ‘great chef, failing restaurant’ comment/analogy (with Kimes?) but couldn’t find it .. stove doesn’t work, heat bills not being paid - something like that. Just a regular dude.


McSquack

So why isn’t this new manifesto rule named after the OC who shitted the bed last week? Wouldn’t that make more sense than naming it after the guy who’s side of the played a perfect game?


vforprez2

And wouldn't thid invalidate the Chiefs , Bienemy has been trying to land a head coaching gig for years.


Koulditreallybeme

Has Schrager EVER disagreed with Bill about anything at all? For everyone saying House was a rando yes man, Schrager is a million times worse and so clearly a Bill wannabe despite his pedigree.


Riggs_n_Murtaugh

Bill should test him by saying your mom is clearly a whore, Pete...thoughts?


Koulditreallybeme

Ya know Bill, she's actually even more of a whore than you're suggesting. I dont think you understand just how right you are.


vforprez2

Shrags is absolutely a joke now man literally there to agree and validate whatever asinine point Bill throws out. How boring. And mention the Packers bad special teams but zero mention how Niners almost cost themselves the game with terrible special teams (roughing the kicker, fake punt) and they rank 26th in DVOA lol.


ci_4Life

During last week's game Nantz and Romo quoted Kyle Shannon saying "we know our special teams won't win us the game. We just hope they don't lose us the game."


kevinthehouse

Bill just doesn’t like Rodgers. He’s not going to pick him in any circumstance the rest of these playoffs


Halloran_da_GOAT

Bill's analysis has reached an all time low lol. The number of times that this guy has emphasized a ***running back*** in his evaluation of who is going to win a playoff game in 2022 is fucking mindboggling. Him trying to talk himself into the fact that the Bucs are screwed because Fournette is out and the rams are gonna go on a run because of cam akers is next-level shit. edit: lmfao now they are talking about how odell is BLOWING AWAY anything he did with the browns right now. Dude has 155 yards over his last 5 games combined


DanGarf

This didn’t age well


jbags5

Maybe I’m just a naive Titans fan, but I don’t think Bill would be giving them all this respect and praise if the Pats had won last week and they were playing the Titans this week. Didn’t him and Sal say the Titans didn’t really deserve the #1 seed on a recent pod? This feels like a Pats are out of the playoffs, so Bill’s now gonna latch on to Vrabel to claim some weird tangential Pats valor


mkay0

You’re on to something here. Bill absolutely has a take that the coordinators bouncing has made the Pats struggle. The better the former Pats staff do, the stronger this argument is.


bustinfeelsgood12

It's a common misconception but Vrabel never coached for the Pats


Riggs_n_Murtaugh

Oh for sure 100%. If this was Pats/Titans it would be "Belichick revenge game for 2019 delay of game time loophole", "Can we really count on Tannehill?", "Henry hasn't played in weeks and it's a foot injury", "AJ Brown is good but JC Jackson will lock him down" etc etc etc


Ok_Act4459

Pearl Jam intro wasn’t until 7 minutes in? Totally threw me off


scottrstark

Bill puts way too much value on intangibles like “nobody believes in us,” “ We don’t get respect” crap. Actually takes jinxes and reverse mojo seriously. Insight you just can’t get anywhere else!


Iggleyank

It’s one of the things that puzzles me the most about him. The older I get, the more I realize all those cliches like “This team just knows how to win” and “That team will choke because the same franchise choked 30 years ago” are bullshit. Somehow he clings to that stuff harder. You’d think a guy whose baseball team broke an 86-year-old “curse” would be less likely to treat superstition so powerfully.


Trenchant_Insights

So after [spending all last season](https://old.reddit.com/r/billsimmons/comments/l6oiv0/bill_on_tom_brady_and_tampa_bay_throughout_the/) saying Brady was an idiot, wasn't having fun, must have been miserable, etc, now Simmons' petulance is projecting Brady retiring cause Simmons still can't handle the Pats kicked him to the curb (while nominally Brady left, he did so b/c Belichick wouldn't commit to him or surround him with talent). It's one thing to casually raise this as he did on the Sunday pod, but to feature it as a primary pod topic. Only child


Koulditreallybeme

Now living vicariously through the 9ers by blowing smoke up their ass


micoud04

Wow, he was so bitter. Just refused to admit that Brady was still looking very good. Focusing only on his mistakes...


Legitimate-Emu-1294

I'm not familiar with Ariel Helwani but I enjoyed him taking friendly potshots at Bill's love for the Pats. 2 homers going back and forth. Asslicker Peter Schrager is an automatic skip. Let's go!


GaiusGracchus121

Peter was terrible this week too, could not make it through him and I was barely listening.


dannygunz

They mentioned a lot about the rams defense but didn't consider the BUCS defense is back close to full strength. If the dline is cooking there is a possibility Stafford could have a meltdown game like he has had recently.


Ok_Act4459

“Cleaned the oil” lol


goatvoncrock

“You gotta think Vrabel will do the Belichick thing and eliminate chase” Just some top tier analysis


monstdeleon

Simmons consistently leaves Lions fans out of the most tortured fan bases. Ironically, they could be the most tortured.


Kershiser22

I think it has to be the Lions. The Browns had some success in the 80's. And they've won a championship slightly more recently than Detroit. But Detroit vs Cleveland is a close call. At least Minnesota, Buffalo and Arizona have been to Super Bowls. The Jets are worse off than them. Bengals, Chargers and Dolphins climbing the list. At least the Bengals and Chargers seem to have franchise QBs and might have good young coaches, so future looks bright.


FiredGuy123

It’s 100% the Lions. I mean you can debate how you interpret “tortured” but they have had one good season, 3 division wins, and a single playoff win since like 1950. Teams like the Browns, Bengals, Bills, and Vikings at least have had good runs and make it there to get beaten by good teams.


mjmilino

Except when you're that bad at something you basically become numb to it. You never actually have expectations of success. When your team is generally good but never gets over the hump it's much tougher to take. As a Minnesota fan, I've experienced both. The Timberwolves are amusing to take in. I've been a fan since their inception in the late '80s and it's almost comical how consistently bad they've been. But the Vikings? Fuck. They've just made me dead inside. I'm 46 years old. I've got one kid in college and one kid who's a junior in high school. I'm not old enough to remember the Super Bowls, but I can remember each of the five NFC title games they've lost since I really started following them. Trust me, it's much worse to have a team good enough to make you think it could happen and then be a perennial disappointment.


Iggleyank

The idea of “most tortured” is an interesting philosophical debate, the sports version of whether it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all. Seems to me like Detroit probably wins if we define it as sustained awfulness. But that strikes me as a different category, a kind of soul deadening. “Tortured” seems more like the category of teams that occasionally give you hope, only to tear your heart out, a la the Ernest Byner fumble. I’m an Eagles fan, and the years when they were awful were depressing, but all the years they got close, but then blew it, I wanted to pound my head against concrete. Winning the SB was as much a relief as a joy. Cleveland might win the most tortured category because of longevity and several missed opportunities. And you can’t discount the extra odd torture of Jets fans — they don’t even get the sympathy of having never won a SB, despite the fact no fan under 60 can remember it. But I think the crown ultimately goes to Atlanta. To blow a 28-3 lead in the SB is just so operatic, I don’t know how they didn’t just shut down the franchise.


ThugBeast21

I think it is significantly worse to be beaten into apathy by sustained awfulness than to have sustained success that never comes to full fruition. If you're good enough to have frequent painful playoff losses that means you also have a lot of good memories of wins along the way. The best memory Lions fans have in the last 20 years is probably Stafford winning a game over the Browns with a separated shoulder in a 2-14 season. They're currently on a 30 year playoff drought that began the season after they snapped a 31 year playoff drought. The vast majority of their fanbase has basically had nothing to enjoy their entire lives


LuminTheFray

The Lions were and continue to be terrible for a longer sustained period than the Patriots were good


dansmith1278

I think its either Buffalo or Minnesota. Both 0-4 in Super Bowls. Minnesota has pretty consistently been good for the entire history of the franchise and has nothing to show for it but a string of heartbreaking losses. Buffalo really only has 2 good runs in the Super Bowl era (88-99 and now) but that first run gave us Ronnie Harmon dropping the game winning TD in 1989, Wide Right in 1990, Super Bowl blowouts in 1991-1993, and the Music City Miracle in 1999 followed by almost two decades of futility. Atlanta really only has the one terrible loss.


GaiusGracchus121

I want to say Minnesota is like 8th in Win % all time. They have been consistently solid-excellent, yet always disappointing. They have had under 7 wins 7 times in the last 52 years, rarely two years in a row and never 3. And yet they haven't made the playoffs that often compared to how good they are, and when they do they tend to underperform their seed.


ucd_pete

Cleveland did have their team stolen from them in the 90's though.


jiciki

He never watches them so he forgets they exist. I sometimes forget they are an nfl franchise and I’m a lions fan


Jones3787

He watched parts of the wonky Cards-Lions game because he mentioned that Aqib and Gus called it.....which is uhhh why the Lions won?


tdotjefe

helwani tells the moreno figuereido story every time


DarinErstad

Why does Bill act like CeeDee Lamb is 2003 Randy Moss? 16th in Receiving Yards, 23rd in Receptions, and 25th in Touchdowns this year.


Bhay99

Bill is now obsessed with his "Josh Allen is more durable than Mahomes" take. How many games has Mahomes missed in his career? 3 because of a freak accident on a QB sneak? What the hell is he talking about?


ClintGreasewood

MMA ringer green room takes phone calls from fans? Please, Please let this seed be planted in Bill's head.


kevinthehouse

Bill manifested all these reasons not to take Rodgers’ Packers. Haha


GoldenFrank

"Bill do you know what that Hebrew word means?" Yes +8500 No -10000


jakethesnakeinmyboot

Helwani dumping on the Pats straight up to Bill felt so vindicating for this sub


firewarner

**Today’s Things:** - **I’m like a pig in shit with the Westbrook Lakers thing** (then Bill claims his batting average on “all in” predictions is “good”) 😂😂 - Davis thing - Westbrook thing - Josh thing - yin Yang thing - consolation thing - Washington thing was weird - Andy Dalton thing - KD thing - game ball thing - running back thing with Akers - big Covid thing - Tannehill thing - McKinnon thing - demeanor thing - Akers thing (twice) - Belichick thing (Vrabel is gonna take away the Chase piece! 🤣) - looked too good the previous round thing **Bonus Pieces and Stuff:** - Friday weigh in stuff - Music City Miracle piece - **hangover piece** - Green Room stuff (twice) - going to a good place with this stuff - lost their fastball with the Covid stuff - high school stuff - ESPN plus stuff - crypto stuff - authentic piece - decision making stuff - **Jimmy G piece** - Akers piece - LaFleur piece - practice stuff - Gruden stuff - Josh Allen stuff **First Random Celtics Reference:** Celtics Lakers game 7 2010! (1:18:34) the mad man did it!! **Eloquent Bill:** (Bill on “Josh”) “And then the Josh thing, just like putting Josh in shotgun and doing this yin yang thing like, is he gonna run, is he gonna throw? What’s he going to do? … and there’s no way to solve it!” 😂😂 (Bill on Brady) “He wouldn’t want to go out on a loss and just sneak out the backdoor… he’s not like a sneak out the backdoor guy, he likes to leave breadcrumbs” Bill calls Tre’Davious White “Tre’Davious Wright” **Other Stuff:** Bill comes in off the top rope before Pearl Jam with an anti Lakers screed (3:00) including calling LeBron “top 3 all time and top 8-9 right now” Ariel bringing the heat, gives Bill shit for the Patriots (9:20) fucking love it Bill calls Mac’s performance last week “the silver lining” (12:55) what in the world lol Bill’s tortured franchises rankings: Browns, Vikings and Bills (21:15) Bill calls Deflategate the best thing that happened for Pats fans (28:38) “it made it us against the world” Bill brags about his 4 TV setup (31:40) Bill pushes back on Ariel’s characterization of Dana White as “his good friend” (34:50) Bill and Ariel discuss potential Ngannou vs Paul brother fights (46:45) Bill admits the Patriots made him sad last week, reflects on his dumb pick (56:20) Bill recklessly speculates that this could be Brady’s last game (59:05) Schrager thinks he’s had a “rough year” he’s going to be the fucking runner up in MVP! Percentage guy Bill ends up giving it a 33% chance 😂 (they talk about this for 8+ minutes) Bill does that weird gulp/GERD thing (1:00:21) Bill compares Odell to a plant that’s given water and sunlight (1:11:50) 🤣 Bill proposes a stupid fucking manifesto rule, Schrager loves it! (1:21:50) Bill compares Derrick Henry’s Jones fracture to the LeBron’s bubble lay off (1:26:30) this fucking guy then compares Henry to a car that got an oil change 😂 Bill comps the Titans to the 03-04 Pats, because of course he does (1:29:40) Perfect example why the Manifesto is incredibly dumb: TWO rules to pay attention to the QB, yet Bill still wants Tannehill over Burrow and Garoppolo over Rodgers. Bill’s “nobody believes in us” teams are both favorites, the Titans and Chiefs - clearly, Vegas believes in them! Bill doesn’t like the Bills “jerk circle” (1:34:45) Bill doesn’t think the Cardinals should resign Kyler (1:37:30) prisoner of the moment much? 😂 Bill disparages playoff Rodgers (1:51:00) meh, you’re 8-7 against him the last decade! **Bill’s Bets:** - Titans -3.5 ($400K) - 49ers +5.5 ($200K) - Chiefs -1.5 ($100K) - Rams +3 ($100K) - Parlay: Titans + Niners ML (+366/$75K) - Parlay: Niners +7.5, Rams +4.5 (+170/$50K) - Parlay: Titans -9.5, AJ Brown anytime TD, AJ Brown O 74.5 receiving yards (+829/$50K) - Parlay: Rams D first TD, Rams ML (+5654/$10K) - Parlay: Niners +7.5, Mitchell O 59.5 rushing yards, Deebo O 24.5 rushing yards, Jajuan Jennings anytime TD (+950/$33K)


CPAlum_1

You forgot “Clyde Edward Hill Air” (1:56:31)


Riggs_n_Murtaugh

> Bill recklessly speculates that this could be Brady’s last game He's really trying to speak it into existence


GiveMeSomeIhedigbo

> Bill doesn’t think the Cardinals should resign Kyler (1:37:30) prisoner of the moment much? It's amazing that he can realize that playoff virgin QBs don't perform well, then doesn't even factor that into his assessment of Kyler's performance.


myredditlogin2022

> Kyle turn the camera on > Let's go! Kyle come on > Big jerk circle all week MDP playing the hits this week!


AS8319

You mean Bill Simmons karaoke?


Caedus

Jerkcircle is in the top 7 of underrated Billisms


GiveMeSomeIhedigbo

I don't understand the whole "I don't know if Mahomes will hold up physically" thing (lol, what I am becoming), considering he's missed what, two starts in 4 years, and couldn't finish one of his 9 playoff starts last year.


hag14

Man this Schrager/Simmons combo is the all-time worst. You would’ve thought that Schrager would grow some balls after the Patriots will win the Super Bowl lunacy. What a tool


qballLobk

I like how Bill says Belichick had the perfect game plan against the Rams and Mike Marta in SB 36. Ugh Yeah Billy, it helps when you have access to videotape of the other teams walkthroughs and know what they want to run.


loupr738

Omg, that Ariel segment is vintage Bill for me. Talk like fans specially with experts of other sports


JakeBarnesLegWound

Wtf was the UFC guy on about with nobody respecting Josh Allen? He’s probably the most popular QB in the league right now and the entire public seems to be favoring his team against the two time defending conference champs


5towns

I think earlier this year there was a moment where the Bill's were really shitting the bed and people were trying to make a story that his accuracy was bad and we told you so about the draft, but that is completely put to bed now. Fans hold onto those things though


RenegadeRef

LET’S GO


Tinder4Boomers

Huge lap dog energy from Schaeger in this episode. Bill’s probably gonna bring home a doggy bag from Shakey’s for him, but if he’s lucky maybe Bill will bust out the jar of peanut butter and Schraeger can get lickin


DonkeyLightning

Why would Bill choose “Bob” as the stand in name for the tortured Bills fan base when “Bill” is sitting right there.


mufflefuffle

Potential all time Billism that’ll likely go unnoticed in this one. When talking about the Packers awful special teams he brings up former teams that won with poor special teams and says “they ranked 25th that year, which….isn’t bottom 7.” Go Billy Go


EasyThreezy

He named like 5 bottom-10 special teams to win the Super Bowl in the past 15 years haha


EasyThreezy

Nonsensical rules I could see Bill having for future playoff bets: “Beware the team that has the coordinator whose interviewed for jobs that has better talent on his side of the ball then the team he’s coaching now.” “Beware the team with linebackers that are always just doing stuff.” “Beware of the team with the most guys coming off Covid list, like Tatum just wasn’t the same for awhile.” “Beware the team that won a lot of big games in the middle of the season. They were cooking but now it’s like what did they do since then.” “Beware the team that doesn’t know how to do the put the QB in the shotgun thing.”


shoxballin11

Shits on Shanahan the whole year, now they’re the best team in the NFC. Brady is washed now apparently, but also maybe as hot as Brady was in the early 2010’s? Never change, Bill!


fortheloveofthesport

This Ariel guy puts Russillo’s strawmen to shame. “People aren’t giving Josh Allen enough credit”? Who are you interacting with?


BuffOrange

He's referring to a dumb local Boston show clip that made the rounds on Twitter. Maybe he listens to vsin too. That entire roster has dogged the Bills all year and is now retroactively saying the Pats D sucks.


vforprez2

Ariel talking NFL is like Bill talking MMA. The crossover nobody asked for lol Edit: unfair to Ariel, Bill knows absolutely nothing about MMA lol


GaiusGracchus121

Bill gave one of his trademark "hmmmm"s when Ariel was like "these are guys you for sure know", when he got to the one Bill didn't know.


ksx25

Didn’t he actually list exactly who he was talking about? The Boston media? He literally named Michael Holly.


vbstarr91

I don't know how you can trust the 49ers to win against the Packers. They almost gave that Cowboys game away. Bosa and Warner are hobbled. Jimmy G is an INT waiting to happen. Rodgers will torch the 49ers CBs. Packers will get a lead and take it from there.


afat123

Picking the rams because of their pass rush and Tampa missing OL and receivers would make sense. Picking the rams because of the “cam Akers thing” is the fucking dumbest reasoning ever


Complex-Mulberry-716

Note to self: never listen to Ariel Helwani talk about the Bills


theCHAMPdotcom

Loved when Schraeger said Allen’s performance was one of the best of all time in the playoffs. Only for Bill to deny it and flip it Brady against the Falcons.😂😂😂


kwtb

MORE ARIEL PLEASE He is one of the best in sports media and he’s awesome w Bill cos he will give him tons of shit I wish we got Ariel on BS Pod at least 4x a year


shorthevix

26.30.......Never meddim


huitcinq

had to fast forward 7 minutes to hear pearl jam what the hell was he talking about the whole time


Victorcreedbratton

I am probably in the minority who didn’t totally love Ariel. He just went on and on about the Bills, and not even their win, but just their tortured history. Ok, who cares? And Josh Allen gets no respect, relative to Pat Mahomes? Mahomes won a Super Bowl and went to his second in a row by dominating Allen last year. I am glad that he rubbed it in about Buffalo’s playoff win over the Pats, though.


bbmarco

I think people saying the next Rewatchables is Casino are likely right (his description of the movie, Fennessey's Letterboxd, etc.) but he also says for this ep he, CR, and Fennessey got together in person and I think the last time they did that was Goodfellas.


rebels2022

They last got together for Raiders of the lost ark. Goodfellas was a little before that. Unless I’m mistaken


Tel3visi0n

Bill on Brady: “he doesn’t have the same team he did last year” Bucs returned 22 of 22 starters. Yes, i’m aware of the injuries but that doesn’t mean those guys aren’t on the team. The only difference is AB being a fucking goof.


Jones3787

Godwin's injury is a bigger loss than AB imo. But the combination of both being out is a serious issue now


Riggs_n_Murtaugh

"Tennessee is favored by minus 3 and a half"


ColeBeasleyMD

Caught that one, too. It's either 'they're favoured by 3.5' or 'they're minus 3.5'


Goldberg2Dub

Aaron Rodgers must've really snubbed Bill somewhere in the past few years. Why does Bill hate the Packers so much?