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Why do neurotypicals care more about catching "fake autistics" than actual autistic people?

Why do neurotypicals care more about catching "fake autistics" than actual autistic people?

iamsojellyofu

For a long time, autism has had a particular "look" in the neurotypical minds (which is the white young boy who always screams and throws tantrums image). When they see someone not displaying those traits, they get confused and accused them of faking autism. I feel like accusing people of faking autism is another way of saying "you do not look autistic".


nutdough_

yup! they see people that mask or have moderately developed social skills and immediately assume they can't be autistic because they don't fit their narrow understanding of autism


HooperAoapjm

I've also had people claim that I'm not truly autistic because I was diagnosed with Asperger's, including by people on the spectrum.


iamsojellyofu

Yeah. I hope that the concept of masking and the idea of autism being a spectrum gets talked about more often within our society.


emlove2349

What's really sad is even a lot of autistic people will accuse self-diagnosed autistic people of faking. There's a lot of it on this sub.


iamsojellyofu

Gatekeeping at its finest.


WhoWhereWhatWhenWhy

Years, before my official ASD diagnosis, I once had a lady I knew say to me, "You need to see a therapist and get a professional diagnosis, you can't self-diagnose, you have depression and it needs to be treated." She was a clerk at a law firm. Not a professional. So her statement breaks down as, 1: You need a professional diagnosis. 2: I, a law clerk, am telling you that you can't self-diagnose and need a professional diagnosis because I'm diagnosing you with clinical depression.


_Ambarussa_

If you tried to put that logic into a computer, it would catch fire.


yoonmirtilo

Because neurotypicals have been assuming what's right for us for years


BunFrog

Ouch. Home run.


ComradeCapuchin

Damn! You calm down dropping absolute 🔥 like this! Well said!


BadNameThinkerOfer

Of course, autism only effects kids, they can't speak for themselves. /s


cookie-cat898

no it doesnt?


BadNameThinkerOfer

The "/s" means sarcasm.


cookie-cat898

ohhhh sorry lol


Setari

you good


grimbotronic

NTs don't understand the idea that other people may feel differently about things than them. I'm told we don't understand emotions and feelings but I'm convinced it's the NTs who have that issue. It generally takes us time and reflection to understand, but I don't believe they do that at all. They just assume their reaction was correct because it made the feel better.


Queen_Secrecy

This! Maybe it's because we ND People are so used to being called different or weird, that we grow up with the constant awareness that people are vastly different from each other, while NTs don't really have to think about it as often.


AricBelmont13

On the nose! As someone who's Autist and with DID I experience it a LOT. Nts hate the thought that they know less about what's best for us than we do


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wehrwolf512

“Not all men!!1!”


kivikakk

Good on you. There is a difference between you and the greater proportion of the majority though; that's why this is a subreddit for a marginalised minority. Things play out at the population level differently to how it does in each individual. That's not a slippery slope — that's just how privilege and discrimination work.


The_Senate_81

Exactly! I often find myself pondering my own and other’s personalities.


Dr_seven

Personality psychology is a special interest of mine, and learning more about it has cemented the notion that the balance of empathy largely rests in *our* court, to such an unfathomable extent that NTs perceive us as *lacking* it entirely. In truth, sadly, the *opposite* would be closer to accurate, and we see the outcomes writ large in the whole world.


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idgilmao

With peace and love; when people vent about a social conflict, they're not addressing each person within the offending party on an individual basis. If a statement about a group you're in doesn't apply to you, that's great - feel good about it and move on.


RyeBread904

100%! Amen!


elephantsinthealps

>NTs don't understand the idea that other people may feel differently about things than them. This is 100% facts. They have such a hard time imagining someone who is not themselves.


DancingMoose42

Yeah it frustrates me when someone can’t think that perhaps someone just has a different outlook. However, I struggle with the fact that I just copy whatever world view those around me have. Trying to be more myself but being me means constantly playing devils advocate, I truly see the good in anyone, that has gotten me in trouble at times, making some people think I have alternative motives that aren’t my own. I purely do so as I worry that people will think it’s weird if I don’t ‘hate’ something.


Zhydrac

And they tell us it's the other way around, that we don't know other people feel different


Your_One_Lord

I can understand other people's emotions but not my own. I'm probably thinking about it wrong


grimbotronic

I'm the same. I call it unsettled. It's the feeling I have when I have an emotion but don't know what it is or why. I feel everyone else's emotions though. It's maddening.


graysie

Why do you assume NTs don’t feel? My now teenage cousin is on the spectrum and he will bluntly make rude comments. Is that not understanding how hurtful one can be?


grimbotronic

Are his comments rude but based in fact or an intentionally hurtful response? NTs tend to strike out with their emotions, people with autism tend to be missing social graces. There's a difference.


amamiyahibiya

they think they're "helping real autistics" what they're really doing is 1) catching a lot of "fakers who are *actually autistic and not faking at all* and 2) stigmatized more noticeable/"weird" autistic traits. their criteria for a "faker" often consists of obvious stimming, nonverbal/semiverbal/"abnormal" speech, "abnormal" body language/posture, people who are willing to share their traits online instead of hiding who they are, etc. i've been hearing a lot of fear-mongering lately about fakers, but i've seen very, very few people who are actually verifiably faking


goblinodds

i'm super confused by this any time it comes up-- who's actually been caught faking?? how would we know?? afaict either - they're faking badly, attributing nonautistic traits to their fake autism, etc. in which case they're easy enough to spot + correct that we shouldnt have this problem of actual autistics getting caught in the crossfire - they're faking accurately, in which case they're indistinguishable from an actually autistic person and it doesnt help anyone to try to "catch" them


electrojellysoup

Funnily enough, when I started the process of getting an assessment, the specialist who was assessing me actually suggested to me to simply use the autistic label and that I may not necessarily need the assessment to fulfil my purpose for taking it (self understanding and acceptance). I ended up not going through with the whole thing due to cost. But it seems like even professionals aren’t that concerned about self-dx, so why should laypeople be lol


-Laurelin-

* Diagnosed autism -> the person legitimately needs help and accomodations * "Fake" autism -> the person does not need help and accomdations Most people do not want to be forced to change or even think about or consider how their choices and behaviours affect others. We have to put laws in place to FORCE schools and businesses to provide bare minimums like disability friendly access, and even then, they do things like keeping the disabled toilets and ramps locked up so that anyone that needs them has to take extra steps and 'make a fuss' to get the same basics as anyone else. A huge number of people despise the idea of ever making anything easier for anyone than it was for them, and have no concept of their own privilege and ease at doing things. You see this everywhere, like any discussion about the costs of education or medical care, or steps to improve equality for anyone who isn't a white male. Another thing is that many people LOVE virtue signalling, and 'slacktivism'. Jumping on a bandwagon and telling people off for perceived bad behaviour, real or imagined, lets them feel all good and self righteous without having to do any real work like actually being truly accepting of autism (or any other differences or disabilities). God forbid someone have to question their own biases and judgements or think a little harder about their decision to blast all manor of evil noise and light in an area. tl;dr: people suck


Dr7th

I don't know why but they do it with everyone. I was told my music taste was racially motivated just because I dislike rap music.... I'm mixed race not saying I can't be racist but it would be strange if I was. Liek my dad offered a Mexican guy some tequila because he was working in the trade with my dad (they were literal eork buddy's) and my sister says he can't do that because hes assuming the Mexican guy liked tequila but they do it with everyone is the point. (Also the my dad work friend liked the tequila. I think its more of a "typical white person" thing mainly


BranchCommercial

The music genre thing gets me, I don’t like rap music either at least not most of it (exceptions to every rule and all that) but there a tons of genres I don’t like. I’m white and I would say I’m not racist but my brain does that thing where it’s insecure about everything and likes to poke that one a lot and sometimes the rational ‘not liking a specific genre of music doesn’t make you a racist’ doesn’t win out and I unnecessarily worry about it. I worry because my parents ARE racist and being brought up by them (and my first time being around and talking to an African American person was when I was 19) I’m not entirely sure I haven’t picked up something subtle that I don’t know about and don’t want to be attacked blindsided by something I never new was frowned upon. The whole insecurity about actual specifics in a society rife with nuance is so hard a lot of the time. Like I want to do right and I am on the right side I’m just not 100% sure if some of what I am doing or saying is acceptable, correct me without attacking me and I will forever more go with the correction.


Dr7th

I know what you mean, my family is very sarcastic and I don't always pick up on it so it got to a point where when people used si.ilar phrases they would I trusted it as its not sarcasm but it made me offend people by accident because I never knew what it meant. I generally stay out of race things but when I'm accused of being racist when I simply dislike a genre of music I get annoyed but mostly sad that my opinion is wrong makes me feel like I'm living my life wrong


blackCatLex

I think there is couple of reasons. 1) Western society doesn't think about people in terms of their needs to thrive, but about best ways to extract value. We got tiny bit better about it, and there are some allowances for part of population we deem disabled. Resources are limited, so every "fake autistic" person takes resources from ppl who "really need it". 2) Due to situation mentioned above and the myth of meritocracy I think there are some ppl who are scared/pissed off, that these allowances are made in first place, and/or don't want people to "abuse the system/cheat' 3) There is some valid criticism(?), carful consideration about downsides of self diagnosis. For once if person is diagnosed incorrectly they cannot get help they need (and neurodevelopmental disorders are hard to diagnosed, especially later in life). If you have brain tumor you don't want to self diagnosed as having cluster headaches. 4) There is some resentment, especially from older generations, because when they didn't get any help regarding similar problems. They were told to suck it up, and they might believe this is just how life works (and we shouldn't try to make it easier). 5) Sometimes illness is used as excuse for being asshole. I think there is a lot of miscommunication and just lack of related life experience to understand situation of person with needs other then ours. There is this very well known cognitive bias to explain our own behaviour through lenses of our intention but we tend to not give that benefit of a doubt to other ppl. So I am sure there are some ppl who actually use their problems to be asshole, but also there is a lot of ppl accused of that, coz ppl without said problem cannot imagine how it actually looks like to struggle with said problems. I bet there is more reasons, these are coming to mind first.


GandalfsEyebrow

3 is a difficult one because medical diagnosis is really important even to communicate with doctors about other stuff that’s going on. But it just isn’t practical to go through a whole list of symptoms that may or may not be related and most doctors don’t want to listen anyway. This is something the medical community needs to solve, but it doesn’t seem to be high on the priority list. I don’t think many medical professionals even acknowledge that it’s a problem. Edit: Add to this that medical diagnosis is a black art anyway. The best doctor I’ve ever seen said outright that diagnosis is mostly educated guessing and frequently incorrect.


blackCatLex

I see 4 potentially problems that arise from point 3: - we really don't know what much about autism, and diagnosis is based on behaviour data (or worse, a parent perception of behaviour data). The fact that autism classification changes from DSM to DSM tells me, medical community doesn't really know what they are doing. (Not to say they are not trying). - I think ppl don't realize that autism is a medical diagnosis (and for that purpose it will target deficits), but it is also identity matter. People who are subclinical should be able to participate in our communities, and take what is useful for them. - medical community doesn't really treat patient as realisable source of information and when they don't know something a lot of them choose to ignore it or dismiss instead of referring patient to a specialist/learning - medical field changes quite fast and I feel like majority of practitioners are waaay behind (but I don't have hard data)


SeriousLingonberry57

#4 struck me as true.


2infinnity

I don’t know why but it makes me feel weary about talking to someone about me possibly being on the spectrum. I am not open about it anywhere, even though I just made this Reddit account recently so I can try and connect to people who I can relate to. But because of people being so harsh about self diagnosis, I basically just keep it all to myself which is hard for me because if I could be open about it then I feel like I could mask less and feel more comfortable outside of my house; outside of my room. I think it’s distinguishing those who are being authentic about it and those who are doing it more just for a reaction. I don’t know why people would do that though.


ralex002

So as someone who connects strongly with being on the autism spectrum but can’t find someone who can evaluate me, I just describe my qualities that I have that line up with it. For instance, I do have meltdowns and sensory issues as a couple. Instead of saying that I’m autistic (because I don’t even know for sure) I just say, “Hey, I’m feeling overwhelmed by the noise in here. Can you turn the music down?” Or I dim my lights and let company in my home know that I need dim lights because I have sensory issues with bright lighting. Just describe what you’re experiencing instead of saying, “I’m autistic,” when you can’t get a professional evaluation.


SeriousLingonberry57

Thank you. This was really helpful.


GandalfsEyebrow

It’s the same for me. I don’t want to deal with people who think I’m making stuff up, so I don’t talk about it with people outside of my immediate family these days. What really mystifies me is why anyone thinks there’s any kind of benefit to faking it. There really aren’t services available to adults (at least in the US), so it isn’t like we would get access to something that an NT wouldn’t have. Also, no one who is actually faking is going to say they self diagnosed. That’s not how faking something works. About this sub… there’s more intolerance of self diagnosis than I would expect based on the autistic community’s reputation of acceptance. If the weekly polls are to be believed, about 25% think that self diagnosis/identification is entirely invalid. The attitude toward anyone who can’t get a diagnosis is basically “sucks to be you.” This is a minority, but still really frustrating. What really rankles me about both NTs and NDs trying to root out the fakers is the pettiness of it all. If I experience sensory overload, don’t understand social rules, have meltdowns after unexpected changes to my routine, have difficulty maintaining relationships, have speech and motor disorders, fixate on special interests, have a family history of autism, etc, why does it matter if I don’t have the $5k stamp of approval? Some people have even acted like I make symptoms up if a professional hasn’t agreed that I have those symptoms. Why do they think they need to question my experiences? At the very least, they could acknowledge shared experience, but even that is too much for some NDs. I hope this wasn’t too much of a rant. It’s just really been bothering me lately and I’ve been questioning if I even want to participate, diagnosis or not.


raisinghellwithtrees

I find the women's subs to be much more accepting of self diagnosis. Considering the privilege that often goes hand in hand with access to a diagnosis, I guess that shouldn't be unexpected. But yeah, when people tell me I should act like a guest in the autism forums because I have no pathway to diagnosis, it disgusts me.


GandalfsEyebrow

Yeah, it is worse for women and POC. I’m m a white male who happens to be a pretty good representation of the stereotypes and I could afford the overpriced diagnosis. But there’s very little practical value at this point in my life. I’ve figured out what works for me, my family accepts me, and a formal diagnosis won’t change that. So the only real value is community participation without being challenged on a diagnosis. That makes it feel more like paying entrance fees to join a county club. And I really don’t want to feel like I’m using my privilege to get access to a social group. That’s just unfair to everyone who’s being excluded because they don’t have the same resources that I do.


raisinghellwithtrees

The value of realizing I am likely autistic is huge. It has really helped me put my life's story into context, as well as given me strategies for success (which includes not failing hard) in my life as an adult. But same, the only thing a diagnosis would give me is validation. If the autism community weren't so welcoming without it, or if I had privilege and tons of money and ease of transportation that driving 7 hours round trip multiple times was no big deal, I'd probably do my best to go for it. Because I personally don't like this self-diagnosed purgatory. I don't like uncertainty. But it is what it is, and I have to accept the uncertainty. And address gatekeeping when I see it! Thanks, ally.


_Ambarussa_

I'm sorry you're in that position, that sucks.


2infinnity

I agree with people being petty about traits people have. I feel like if people who are upfront about being self-diagnosed should be taken seriously and treated with respect and validity. And if at any point there is someone that a person comes across who you feel like is giving the message across that they aren’t being authentic or are joking around then block them or ignore them. Because not everyone is being that ways just a few people. I think for me personally the only reasons I consider talking to someone about getting diagnosed is for my own person sake. In the past I have been diagnosed with so many different things from so many people and given different meds, different therapies, different support I guess you could say. I just want m therapist and psychiatrist to give an accurate diagnosis so I can be on a good path treatment wise. So they could know what skills would be more beneficial to me than others. I keep getting things thrown at me for bpd when I know I don’t have that and it’s difficult because none of the therapy is working nor can I relate to it. I just want it for me. And I feel like I’d be less overwhelmed and nervous about talking about it if there wasn’t a such thing as people trying to make you feel invalid. Either way I guess I know what’s true for me and I know myself more than anyone.


kiotsukare

I feel like it's because NTs see a lot of our accommodations as "special treatment," and they feel the need to dictate who gets it and who doesn't. On the surface that sounds noble, because they say they don't want people getting special treatment that don't deserve it (and possibly taking it away from people that do). But in practice it's often ableist gatekeeping that prevents actually autistic people from accessing those things. Accessibility only happens when barriers get removed, not added. It's the same mindset as people who get up-in-arms about welfare "abuse," like they somehow have a right to personally dictate who should and shouldn't get assistance, or what assistance should be spent on (because it's "their money," i.e. taxes, going to these poor people, and the government can't be trusted to enforce the rules).


goblinodds

doubly bizarre bc there's very little in the way of special treatment to be had, and because anyone who has, say, sensitivity to noise should be accommodated regardless of their disability status


swarasinger

Because NT's have their own perception of how we are. And they also make up stuff without consulting us. It could lead us to further harm. And less acceptance. If you know what I mean.


smalltowngoth

It's not just with autism. Neurotypical/able bodied people love to call out so-called "fakers." They'll be the first to harass anyone who uses disabled parking who may not look obviously disabled. They are obsessed with the idea of anyone potentially undeserving getting any benefits/assistance. It's a similar situation to the supposed rampant welfare/food stamp abuse that doesn't actually exist. They just want to be self-righteous gatekeepers who don't actually care about the disabled or poor.


paradisenot

This reeks the need to feel better by putting down others.


MelQMaid

This example is binaryism and gatekeeping at its finest. The NT that need people to check little boxes (official dx is acceptable, unofficial dx is bad) may be able to adapt to new information as it is published, but autism by definition is a spectrum. Many topics are complex and get simplified for beginners to understand but some beginners stop learning /listening and go straight into know-it-all mode. Autism has probably been around for many many generations but were are still in the infancy of collecting information, ascertaining the language to describe it all. Nobody can know everything about the topic so it is absurd to be able to be a gatekeeper. The fences keep being refined or repositioned with new studies, and the science has only scratched the surface.


lElfal

I dont understand why any of us would fake being autistic though? That's how I see it. What's the benefits of faking a disorder that everyone bashes on? I mean, to some people we'll always be children, to others autism=retardation or used as a slur to mean retardation. I was professionally diagnosed at 4 and treated for 11 years and never once even revealed to anyone at school that im autistic because I didnt want it to change how people thought of me.


virgowitchx

EXACTLY. Even if someone were to fake being autistic for attention (these people are really rare from what i've seen), that would be a stupid idea on their part. Autistic people are constantly bullied and mocked especially when they're open about it, so idky anyone would want that for themselves. Like there are so many other things u could lie about for attention and not get bullied for


aikfruit

And also ofc, if anyone did fake it for attention, they probably need some help, so its destructive to be so horrible even to fakers.


fencesitter42

This is why I'm extremely skeptical anyone is faking it.


violentsock

I'm neurotypical (as far as I know) and I feel urges for attention-seeking behaviours and wanting pity so I might have an understanding of where the thought of faking autism comes from. I imagine the benefit the faker receives is sympathy and unofficial 'accommodations'. Friends and family may treat them with caution and pity. They can demand excessive 'accommodations' (from unofficial places like stores), thereby awarding special attention and a sense of control. These aren't behaviours that would necessarily be presented by an autistic person, but a means for a neurotypical to mobilize their perceived difference to achieve desired outcomes. It's desirable to be a faker because they can stop pretending anytime and can claim discrimination if they have an unreasonable demand that isn't met. Social hardships (like cruel comments from others) don't feel like a personal attack because it's just an act. I think many neurotypical people can empathize with a desire to be the person I just described. Kind of like someone pretending to suffer from migraines may receive sympathy when leaving work early but secretly just party. A person actually suffering from migraines is going to spend the evening suffering. Even if/when this migraine faker gets a negative response, it doesn't affect them personally because they're just acting. Neurotypical people feel jealous of the faker and want to stop them, even though it almost never turns out to be a faker. (sorry for long essay, i hope this makes sense. It just boils down to a lack of critical thinking and empathy from the neurotypical people imo)


Adryzz_

Yep. > may treat them with caution and pity Being treated with pity? Do people seriously **want** that? I'll speak for myself, but i'd like to be treated like anyone else.


violentsock

It's difficult to explain, but from my perspective at least pity validates my difficult emotions. I struggle with depression and anxiety, and with that comes guilt for feeling bad when there's nothing really going wrong otherwise. Using an example, I'm a very sensitive person and easily cry but often was scolded or met with angry responses for overreacting. Most people would want sympathy, but I think what I really want is pity so people expect less of me, expect me to overreact, and distance themselves from me if they find my behaviour off-putting. It makes sense that most people would want to be treated equally to others especially when they generally not afforded that right in their day-to-day. In my situation, I wish people would recognize my limitations. Their pity, rather than dismissiveness, would at least make me feel less at fault for falling short of society's expectations. I try to suppress this desire for pity because I don't want to be manipulative or cause others misfortune, but it has minimal impacts on my behaviour as long as I stay mindful of it.


StrangledByMrKrabs

The same reason white people want to decide what's offensive to Hispanics, or why straight people wanna decide what's homophobic or why cis people want to decide what's transphobic. People want to virtue signal and boast about the righteousness of their own morality so they can feel good about themselves


aikfruit

And also whenever they do this, that majority group gets to decide what is and isn't bad for that group, which can give them a lot of power over that group while pretending they're acting in its interest. For example, when all there were all the blm protests last year, many episodes of TV shows which were kinda edgy were taken down (like Chang being a black elf, or some episodes of IASIP) when that isn't what black people particularly cared about, and what they really want is stuff like their human rights to be respected and economic reparations (I think, I'm not up on all this). But obviously if black people were given economic reparations and functional human rights, that would upset white people (maybe more the government but idk) too much so they didn't do it. And same thing with autism. If NTs can define what behaviors are and aren't autistic, we can't properly express ourselves without being subject to ridicule.


Dr_Keter3930

Because they don't understand the trouble of getting a diagnosis.


Dragis097

Privileged people are more dense on understanding anyone who are minority.


insomniaddict91

Probably something like "You look fine to me. Don't expect special treatment because you think you're different."


a_killer_roomba

Oof, this hurt my soul.


HimylittleChickadee

I'm NT - I hang out in this sub because my son has Autism and I'm trying to understand his experience better. I love him with all my heart. Its impossible for me to know exactly what examples you're referencing, but maybe this isn't just an ASD thing, but generally how people feel about anyone self-diagnosising anything. There are certain criteria that must be met for a doctor or health professional to diagnose someone with something, so when someone doesn't meet those criteria but still claims to have that thing, that's always going to raise some eyebrows. People have faith in the science and doctors and health professionals to apply criteria correctly, so if a person doesn't meet that criteria it's usually viewed as the person lacking the condition vs the criteria lacking. Also, I'm pretty sure this isn't just an NT issue - I'm sure there are ND people who are skeptical when someone fails to meet a criteria for something but still claims they have that thing.


virgowitchx

That's the thing. These people they criticize usually DO meet the criteria, but they still get accused of faking for attention. And yes, some things are difficult to diagnose, but others can be more obvious. For example, you can't just go around saying you have a brain tumor because of a headache. understandable. But if you think you have anxiety because socializing makes u wanna kill urself, chances are you do have anxiety bc those who aren't anxious don't act like that.


HimylittleChickadee

I see what you’re saying. Sorry, I misunderstood. Maybe it’s elitism, maybe it’s gate-keeping. Regardless, life would be so much easier if people just kept some opinions to themselves, like what they think the right way to find you have ASD is.


seewallwest

I think a lot of neurotypical people have been through a phase in life of wanting to be different, so are more likely to think that self diagnosed autism is just acting out for attention.


Sifernos1

Neurotypicals seem to care about how something feels and catching fake mentally disabled people feels like you're both stopping abuse of the system and helping out the ,"real autistics". The irony there is that such people are likely arrogant, infantilizing individuals that wish to even control who can be counted as autistic. These people are so arrogant as to presume they are an authority on even one part of the human experience, while often having no valid education on the subject. I swear it's just a way to artificially limit our numbers via claiming people are faking autism so the population is smaller than it seems. They think we're such a burden on humanity they can reduce our impact by claiming there are less of us because some kids faked it for attention on YouTube or whatever... Neurotypicals say we have emotional issues but I wondered what was wrong with a child life that they'd fake autism before I got upset... I guess my emotions are wack but I think that kid should get help and giving them crap for faking autism should come later, if it's necessary. Attacking people for having problems they can't comprehend (like a need to fake autism) is a neurotypicals job, we aren't like them... So let's not act like it. (This is not to say I don't get upset that people fake being autistic and ruin the perception of us but me trying to say we should help these people instead of demonize them... Unless they keep doing it for likes then... )


Youaintseenshityet

I don't think it's people who self-diagnose as in "I am pretty sure I am autistic, but I can't/don't want to get proffessionally diagnosed." I think it's the people who, as you edited in, self diagnose as in "I'm autistic uwu, so quirky" and people who self diagnose as in "I am autistic, but I don't intend to get professionally diagnosed, and you and the world has to make accomodations for me."


Kaye_the_original

My guess is that they’re trying to shut down what they perceive as the “special snowflakes”. It seems to me as is people have a hard time accepting others feeling special (no matter if said others act entitled or in any other way harmfully), and they notice that autistics self-diagnosing makes them be happier and lead better lives, which from the outside can look like someone being a “special snowflake”. But these are just my wild guesses. Not guessing though: A Danish author once wrote a book featuring the satirical [Law of Jante](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_Jante) > It characterises not conforming, doing things out of the ordinary, or being personally ambitious as unworthy and inappropriate. Problem was though that it was so close to reality that people adopted it without thinking that it was meant to be social criticism. Many Danish people today praise it as their way of living, even though it’s harmful to individuals as well as an inhibitor for innovation. I wouldn’t be surprised if other parts of the world had a similar mentality.


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solstice_gilder

'yeah but everybody has this this that' , when telling them when you suspect ASD 'oh but its asperger right?' when disclosing asd? i dont know what they meant by this. 'ah but you don't look like my nephew, how can you be autistic?' etc etc people just like to categorise things, and if you don't fit into a box very neatly you can see the steam coming out of their ears from overload :P ..


Mattabooey

I'm self diagnosed so take everything I say and throw it out the window. My family sees it, friends see it, my girlfriend sees it. I'm in my late 30's and when I was in my low 30's I attempted to get diagnosed to find out whether I am or not. The doctor I saw thought I was asking because it was "glamorous and popular". I also had anxiety and was told autistic people can't have anxiety. Most doctors don't like you being well informed going in and I understand why. I have friends and co-workers who will Google some symptom, find the worst case result and then demand treatment from their doctor. You also have those who think they know better. These days whether I am on the spectrum or not I just live my life. That's not what defines me so it doesn't matter.


GandalfsEyebrow

Glamorous? To that doctor, I say “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”


virgowitchx

"autistic people can't have anxiety"?!?! see, this is another reason i support self diagnosis. Some doctors are so stubborn that not even a degree will fix their ignorance.


iftheronahadntcome

It's because being considerate of other people's feelings takes work. Work that some people are not at all willing to do, so it'll be easier for them to just accuse you of faking. Think about it: Racists often say minorities are making stuff up. Homophobes will say that LGBTQ people are "doing it for attention", and so on. It's because beginning to acknowledge that maybe people's fear and pain are real means acknowledging their own racism, homophobia, and ableism. It means that if they're, say, 50, they have to potentially deal with 50 years of harming others in some way (if they were active in their bigotry). I think anyone can change, but usually it's less of external judgement that they're going to really have to deal with, but moreso them struggling forgiving and dealing with themselves.


Adryzz_

NTs just assume what is best for you and that you feel the same way as them.


yokyopeli09

Because for a lot of people it's about feeling superior- we see this in a lot of circles, politically, socially, etc. They use the cause of supporting a marginalized group as a way to prop themselves up and get a thrill of knocking people down a peg. It feels good to tell look at people doing something wrong and pat yourself on the back because *you would never do such a thing*, that you're *only looking out* for autistic folks, when the reality is they don't care about anything but feeling morally superior.


TheAmericanMutt

We have buttheads among our own who gatekeep too unfortunately, but yes in general it's the stupid NTs flapping their gums about crap they don't know anything about.


cookie-cat898

i agree, i was professionally diagnosed with autism about 4 almost 5 years ago and no autistics have been like "YOUR FAKING AUTISM" to me ONLY neurotypicals??


cookie-cat898

and its so dumb to fake stuff for attention


prewarpotato

One of the reasons might be that NTs have their own problems and struggles too, and if they see someone they perceive to be one of them (correctly or not) claim to be autistic just to (again, what they perceive:) grab "benefits" that aren't theirs to claim, they react negatively to it. Not an excuse, just trying to find an explanation.


[deleted]

I'm super hardcore autistic and due to coping mechanisms you need to actually spend time to realize it, and so many people have accused me of faking because I can talk about fashion and stuff for like an hour before I begin talking about the butterfly faeries that bring the sunshine every morning :P


Lone_Scout-

My first guess is that for most people, it is difficult to rationalize the reality that we face. As a result, they, knowingly or not, seek to minimize the problem. It just happens that the easiest way to “minimize” a problem is for there to be “less” of it. Beyond that, actually addressing the issues faced by people with autism takes time, thought, consideration, and often money. At risk of sounding jaded, I think that it is reasonable to expect that some would rather dismiss the issue as much as possible instead of doing what is necessary to address it.


linuxgeekmama

They see people getting accommodations in school, like extra time on tests. They would like some of the same accommodations, or maybe they view school as a competition and think somebody is getting an unfair advantage. It’s kind of like the people who police who should get to use handicapped parking spaces. They think somebody is faking a problem to get an unfair advantage. You see the same sort of thing with trans girls/women playing sports. They think trans girls/women have an unfair advantage because they are biologically male. Sports are a competition, and they see it as essentially cheating. They think some people use autism as an excuse to be rude or offensive. They understandably don’t like being around people who are being rude or offensive, and they would like to call out people who are doing so. Or maybe they would like to do or say some socially unacceptable things, but etiquette holds them back. They can refrain from behaving that way, and they don’t understand that some people find it difficult. Or maybe they find some of our stims annoying or weird. Maybe they think people are using autism as an excuse to get away with doing annoying or weird things. You see this with people with mental illnesses, too. They think that people with depression, for example, are using it as an excuse to be lazy. They see more autistic people around than they did when they were younger. This is because of improved diagnostic criteria, and autistic people coming out of the closet more. Developmental differences used to be incredibly stigmatized (you got called r-word, a lot). If you had one, you tried to keep it a secret. It’s a little like being LGBT in that sense. They think that this didn’t used to happen, because people kept it secret. If they’re uncomfortable around neurodivergent people, maybe they liked it better when we were less visible- again, like LGBT people.


88nicos

Their proof is always "trust me bro" or something super stereotypical too.


virgowitchx

LMAO RIGHT LIKE "this person is faking it bc they're flapping their hands" like bro...that's something autistics actually do....


88nicos

Then if you call them out they downvote you and mock you. r/fakedisordercringe has a ton of transphobia and misogyny too.


abstracthistory

Neurotypicals will almost always believe what they see over what you say. This creates a variety of problems, including the fact that if they can’t see that you’re autistic (based on whatever they personally think that looks like) and you don’t have any social capital to back it up (doctors have authority and thus social capital in this regard), then they don’t believe it. This can also be seen with doctors not believing patients about pain who don’t show pain on their face. Or white people interpreting black peoples behavior as more aggressive/shifty than white people doing the same thing. This is not to say that autistic are not capable of this same behavior, we absolutely are, especially in regards to the last one I mentioned. But the more you are not believed when interacting with others, and the more you see people you know not being believed, the more likely you are to believe others. Autistic people are also often less confident in what they see (a side effect of not being able to read social cues, is not trusting your reading of the social cues you’ve learned to catch), and thus are more likely to believe what someone says. Another factor is the autistic tendency to be straightforward with what we mean rather than play the social word games neurotypicals like to, also means we’re more likely to assume others will do so as well.


golden_eternity

They want any example they can point to so they don’t have to make minor changes to their life to accommodate people


SapphicSilence

They don't want to view their bullying of people they deem "weird" as immoral


Norwazy

People like to be offended for others when they have no understanding of what's actually offensive to those others.


Young_Lasagna

Because some people thinks it's more important to be perceived as kind and supportive than actually be kind and supportive.


avidichard

They forced me to work, they forced me to believe, the forced me to act properly until the day I got officially diagnosed. The sad truths about society and the curses of honest people: • Tim Hortons Canada, employees could bring left over donuts at the end of their shift if there was any left. PROBLEM, employees kept the fresh ones and left the old ones in the counter. Because of that, all donuts MUST be thrown away and none can be taken home anymore. • Pastors in churches need dioplomas to prove that they have been seriously studying. OR a pastor needs to have had good social influence to be allowed to have this title. Results: Many pastors are worst than actual believers who have better understandings of the humans than the words of the Bible. • Company owners: Many DID indeed work hard to get there, but they will prefer to hire a person with many school diplomas instead of a person with several years of knowledge and self taught expertise. Many hackers are home slackers that game and eat pizza. I'd hire them for my bank security with a nice pay and that person would definately know how to spot an cyber threat. Many people that self diagnose are probably honest. Others just want to benefit from being able to justify themselves being jerks in a rightfull maner. They want to get attention and probably want to be lazy too because it's easier to stay home doing nothing than to force ourselves in changing our bad habits. There's also all those fake websites pretending to be ble with a few questions to definately tell if you are Autistic or not but again, these are just based off questions in 1 single form. I spent 3 hours with 3 different tests, one for intelligence, one for life reactions and another one for motor skills and detail management. I was diagnosed with those 3 tests altogether. In the intelligence test there was audio, visual and intellectual tests, and you get the idea, it's a diagnostic test, not just a questionnaire with a computer calculated result. Now, do I value a self-diagnosed person less than a diagnosed one? No. BUT answers will always be: You have the traits and you seem legitely one of ours, but get yourself diagnosed and we'll know for sure. And as all companies do, without a diploma, noone can officially do anything about it and as sad as it seems to say, you are alone until you get diagnosed officially. But hey, welcome here because I don't care, this is a free world and I believe everyone should be accepted anywhere as long as there is respect amongst ourselves. So be brave and continue learning about yourself and don't get discouraged, you are a worthy human and the world does need you as you do have a role amongst us and those arround you!


paradisenot

Your comment moved me. I was diagnosed using only a few pages of questionnaire by a clinical psychologist grandpa. His diagnosis was I am in-between in the higher range, but he chose to say that I have no autism. However, the way he gave his answer made me realised that I may need to do a proper test and have a second opinion. I’m a female adult who grew up in a culture where awareness of autism was close to nil. Currently living in a developed country that has more information to autism, but perhaps I need to get diagnosed by a younger (than the current) generation clinical psychologist who knows how to properly diagnose this disorder, with recent advancements in the mental health science.. And whatever the result will be, I know it will make me feel at peace because I’m learning more about myself; not just achieving a label. E: grammar


ccs_tech

Unfortunately, this is not limited to self-diagnosed autism. For example, look at most incidents of cultural appropriation that lit the internet on fire. Some girl wears a chinese-inspired dress to prom. What happens? White people get offended on behalf of Chinese people. The Chinese people themselves don't get what the fuss is all about and think the dress is lovely. The internet is like that now. People get super offended on behalf of any marginalized group because they feel good "supporting the cause". Problem is, they never asked the marginalized group what kind of help their "cause" actually needed.


NaughtyGiggleCake

It doesn't happen just with ND people who have self-diagnosed. I have a complicated and extensive medical history. I have "self diagnosed" a few times and in the literal years it took for the medical community to *listen* to me, consider the reality of how much I needed them to look at the big picture for a few things instead of their typical "diagnose by the most likely fit for the symptoms" ~ I was often told that I was faking, exaggerating, not educated enough to know what I was talking about etc. All things being equal, the amount of available information and different experiences being given weight as well as new and sometimes more practical research being done, I think 10 and 20 years from now there will be more big changes in how diagnosis is made and what falls into the categories of ASD, ADHD, SPD and other neurodivergencies. Self-diagnosed people have been a big part of the reason why things are changing in part because they *can* go to the internet and connect with others. The drawback is that the internet is available to people who don't have much if any experience in recognizing that a single diagnosis can present in so many different ways. It's like arguing that someone is lying about having asthma because they don't wheeze audibly. I have two kids with asthma - one with more two dozen cases of pneumonia on his record - not a wheeze out of either of them. Ever. It's a blunt way to say it but ignorant people are painfully unaware of their ignorance sometimes and it's not themselves they inflict the pain upon. Unfortunately.


CBAlan777

It's chaos vs order. A professional diagnosis is orderly. A self diagnosis is chaotic. To them, accepting chaotic solutions opens Pandora's Box.


wilfredwantspancakes

Because it gives them a job to feel righteous about. Drops 🎤


datreus

It's not just NTs, it's NDs who have internalised ableism due to fear they will lose what supports they get from NT society. Autism diagnosis is bullshit. It's subjective behavioural observation. Yet plenty of autistic people cling to their 'diagnosis' and spit poison at those who self diagnose out of a toxic mix of NT programming and their own shame and guilt. Reality is, if you've got half a brain and an internet connection you have the tools you need to make a self diagnosis with greater veracity than the majority of practitioners. The actual answer to all of this is about POWER. NDs represent a significant threat to the power structures of NT society for a wide number of reasons. While historical suppression was physically violent in Western nations - and still is in many places in the world - in the majority of civilised locales that is no longer the case. So now the strategy is social and economic suppression through control of discourse and access to resources. That's why 'autism' is still a thing, when in clinical terms that word is utterly garbage. It's why the psychological profession is overwhelmingly focused on 'fixing' autism. And that's why autistic people turn on each other over this to try and please the very society that rejects them.


[deleted]

Because when NT people think of autism, they think of Sheldon Cooper. If we do not act like Sheldon Cooper, then they decide that we are not actually autistic because I guess they think that autistic people experience one large hive-mind with a fictional man. I've legitimately met people who think that he is the poster boy for autism and it makes me so nervous to tell people that I'm autistic.


ganondox

It’s because they don’t relate to autistic people that they do this. Autistic people emphasize with each other, while neurotypicals just project their own ideas onto “self-diagnosed” people.


Euphrya

Unfortunately, I don’t think this behavior just happens with autism. I’ve seen it also happen with DID/OSDD and people trying to catch “fake systems.” I feel that these people who are more focused about catching people who are “faking” have some massive savior complex and think that by catching these “fakers,” that they are an ally. They think that we can’t stand up for ourselves and they want to speak over us. It’s very gross behavior and it seems like they do that with many things.


a_killer_roomba

I hate to admit that I used to be in these groups. At least in the circles I was in, a lot of it wasn't a savior complex so much as the cringe community creeping into what was initially a group with relatively good intentions. They don't want to help. They just want to get angry and watch "cringe" under the guise of "helping people with 'real' disorders." And it's now crossed over to where they just accuse anyone of faking anything, and they like that they can make fun of people as ruthlessly as possible without repercussions because it's supposedly for a good cause. ^(E: Not saying this is) *^(everyone)* ^(in those groups, but this is a good chunk of what I remember seeing.)


paradisenot

This I found a lot in communities with lack of knowledge and maturity.


NoDollarDamus

We'd need to ask them, or it's just conjecture


CloudCat11

This is the exact reason I haven't got a professional diagnosis yet (though I will as soon as it is possible for me to do so), I live with my parents who have this mentality (and also somehow the 'everyones a little autistic' mentality) so I can't really ask them for help with a diagnosis because I wouldn't get further than mentioning it before getting shut down. It's not helpful in the slightest


Light_Raiven

This is what I worry about - and low-key want to get professionally tested for Autism. It may get rejected on part of the fact, I have PTSD. My son shares ALL my quirks- from selective mutism, noise/fabric triggers, stimmers, etc - and doctors all told me it is obvious he's autistic. He is officially diagnosed. However, to get tested now removes funds for his therapies, and I rather he gets occupational therapy than I get tested.


natgochickielover

I mean I have been professionally diagnosed and I dislike the new fad of self diagnosing. It’s one thing to spend hours going over research and symptoms and being almost certain that you have it, and another entirely to decide you do because of TikTok. I blame the people faking it to look cool on the internet for that, because if there weren’t so many people faking people wouldn’t feel the need to be a bit more wary about self diagnosis. I’ve been made fun of my whole life, I’m not putting up with people faking and mocking this for attention.


virgowitchx

Oh yeah definitely, saying "I have x because a tiktok said so" is just wrong and inaccurate. I'm talking about the people that do research it as much as they can and base their self diagnoses off that


a_killer_roomba

I think people are conflating the former with the latter. They're so excited and angry to call out the ones who are possibly faking that they're accidentally attacking anyone and everyone who says "self-diagnosed." That's not even counting the cringe-community aspect. Some of the original "movement" is people who are legitimately concerned about people faking disorders, but a huge chunk of it nowadays is just people who want to watch "cringe videos" and bully people with neon hair and piercings who have "too many diagnoses" under the guise of helping us.


natgochickielover

Yeah that’s kinda my point, some people like that should be called out if they are faking because that takes away credibility from people who have actually self diagnosed because they are having actual symptoms


virgowitchx

if thats the case then NTs should leave it to actual autistic ppl to handle bc a lot of them still think of autism in a very stereotypical way and they end up targeting ppl who don't deserve it bc they don't look like a stereotype


natgochickielover

I kind of agree unless the faking is so obvious that anyone can tell lol


asnailwithatinyhat

i’m autistic and very much care about seeing so many people faking it for internet points and attention. it’s offensive and gross


virgowitchx

I dont mean ppl who are mocking us btw. I mean like people who genuinely believe they might be autistic because their experiences line up with the diagnostic criteria for autism and they relate to other autistic ppl.


alienamongus7

This is fair, but it doesn't help that so many people are prone to confirmation bias and stubborn when you point that possibility out. I've seen a lot of that on this sub from people that self-diagnose. Ultimately, anyone can say anything they want. There are people out there that sit in wheelchairs because they want to be disabled. I think as long as people identify as self-diagnosed, there shouldn't be an issue. Until you get a professional diagnosis, there's always a chance it's something else.


virgowitchx

Speaking as someone who used to be self diagnosed, we dont do this because we "want" to be disabled. We do this as an explanation for our struggles and differences. Treating myself like I'm autistic before my official diagnosis is the best thing I could have done for my mental health. I was no longer "lazy", "weird", and "not trying hard enough". I had sensory overload and took action to reduce that. I took care of myself during shutdowns so I could come out with more spoons and a good mood, rather than bash myself for being "unproductive".


alienamongus7

I didn't say or imply that all self-dx'ed people do this, but it is a simple inevitability that some will and that is enough to poison the well for some, unfortunately. I'm glad you did what was best for your mental health. The shutdown has been profoundly hard for so many, myself included. I am glad that you were able to find it in yourself to engage in self-care.


Gloomberrypie

Okay, but so much of the autistic experience is our internal sense of the world, our cognition. I would argue that this makes it so self diagnosis is actually more accurate than professional diagnosis; no matter how much of an expert on the presentation of autism a doctor may have, there is simply no way to for them to experience someone else’s inner world. (Also, this is pedantic, but even if you get a diagnosis from a professional there is still a chance it could be something else, because doctors aren’t perfect and two different doctors can have two different opinions)


raisinghellwithtrees

In the women's autism subreddits, there are scores of people reporting the idiotic things their evaluators say. You can't be autistic because: you're married, you're in a relationship, you have children, you have a degree, you have a job, you make eye contact, you show empathy, you have friends... None of these things disqualify anyone from being autistic, but these are used to disqualify people, especially women, from being properly diagnosed.


alienamongus7

Okay, but we have to draw a line somewhere - otherwise, what is the point of having specialists and doctors? What’s the point of having a diagnosis? We are teetering on the edge of total absurdity here.


officially_anxious

So where would you draw the line for trans people? Do they have to be formally diagnosed by their doctor to be trans? Many have to be for gender-affirming surgery, but if you don’t want that or can’t afford it, does that make you not trans? And what should the “symptoms” even be? And who gets to decide whether someone is “trans enough” for a diagnosis? Is it right to give unyielding, absolute power to a doctor who has no experience of the patient’s internal world? If you see autism purely as a medical condition and purely as a disability, then you will not like self-diagnosis. If you see autism as at least part *identity* and *internal worlds* then you’ll be more open to self-diagnosis, as it is with trans people. I see my autism as an integral part of who I am. I do not see my depression that way.


alienamongus7

That is a false equivalence. We are talking about autism, not anything else. I think we are collectively losing our grasp on what it means to have autism identity when there are no rules and everyone gets to be autistic if they want to be. A diagnostic criteria exists for a reason, and if we just open the floodgates then it collectively dilutes the autistic identity. It cheapens it. Like I said, there has to be a line. At what point is it acceptable for a person to just have one or two identifying features of autism, something that could be easily attributable to ANYTHING, and they self-diagnose? I find this trend in the autism community disturbing to say the least, and I think it will only serve to ostracize those with an actual diagnosis per the criteria set forth by experts.


virgowitchx

Comparing it to being trans is actually a pretty good analogy. Sure a diagnosis is ideal, but not everyone has access to one and in some cases a self diagnosis is more helpful than harmful.


alienamongus7

We’ll just have to agree to disagree on that analogy.


virgowitchx

what do u have against the less privileged


officially_anxious

I’m not saying they’re equivalent, though. I’m just pointing out that not all things that can be diagnosed *should* be diagnosed. The existence of a diagnosis does not immediately mean that diagnosis is the most appropriate path. On one end you have purely medical experiences that you cannot self-diagnose. Brain tumours. Depression. Headaches. Maybe some of those are debatable (you’ve probably self-diagnosed a headache before), but they are medical. They are disabilities and illnesses. The other end cannot be diagnosed, even if society has at times deemed it necessary to do so. Transgenderism. Homosexuality. These are identities, not disabilities. It is inappropriate to use diagnosis and it’s hugely insensitive to insist that people have one when self-identity is more accurate. Autism sits in a grey area between. It has some disabling features to make it a disability. But it is also an identity, something you are born with and experience 24/7 until the day you die. People may need *support* and those supports might be best metered out after medical assessment, but for those who don’t need or want supports, diagnosis offers no benefits and comes at extreme cost. I wouldn’t fault someone for choosing not to get diagnosed if it would mean putting them into debt. And I wouldn’t expect them to just sit back and do nothing with the knowledge that they are probably autistic, either. They could use that knowledge to make their lives better, and that shouldn’t carry a $5000 price tag. You see autism purely from the medical lens. It is purely a disability, and not an identity. You might be the sort of person who would argue for a *cure* for autism precisely because you don’t think autism is a part of who you are. Autism is something that happens to you, but it isn’t you. And so you think there can be no cases whatsoever where self-diagnosis is okay. Others view it more from the identity lens and will be more accepting of self-identity and less accepting of notions of a cure. Because it isn’t just a disability, it’s also a fundamental part of who they are, just like their sense of humour or their empathy for others. Suggesting that they cannot know they are autistic is like suggesting someone cannot know they are trans or gay. They may not know the label but they know the internal experience. Either view can be valid, and I don’t know if either is absolutely correct. But if you’re approaching from one side and someone else approaches from the other, you cannot have a meaningful conversation. The way you define autism itself is fundamentally different and cannot be reconciled. And I don't think it's appropriate to insist on setting hard, black-and-white boundaries on an issue that does exist in a grey area.


PlotnikMatros

I second this. I know a ton of autistic people who care deeply, and I think we need to speak up more about it.


NatisRS

I wish I knew!


matcha_cloud

Sorry to ask but I’ve been wondering my whole life if I might be on the spectrum. How were you able to self diagnose? Is there a reliable source you use as reference? I’ve been wanting to look into it but am afraid that l’ll only find misinformation and uninformative stereotypes of autism. What is a good place to look at? Also, I am a female if that helps. I learned here that autism presents differently in women but haven’t found/looked into the literature for this.


virgowitchx

So what I did is I pretty much googled things like "Autism signs" and "How do I know if I have autism" and read as much as I can. The official diagnostic criteria is the DSM-V so make sure u read that, along with some articles that discuss autism from advocate groups and psychology-related websites. There are also a bunch of "am i autistic" quizzes, make sure u take multiple of them bc some are pretty simplified. And last, be sure to get some insight from autistic people themselves. Follow the actuallyautistic tag and autistic creators on social media, follow autistic subreddits (looks like u do that already), etc. This helps give u insight on what our lives are like, and u might be able to relate to some of it. Avoid: self proclaimed "autism warrior parents", Autism "advocate groups" that have very little to no autistic people in charge (these are often hate groups in disguise), quizzes that don't take the DSM or any psychological research into consideration, old articles (i'd say maybe 2013 and prior. they're outdated and may be misleading) and allistic psychologists that refuse to listen to autistics in order to learn more and be a better ally. Good luck!


matcha_cloud

This is very helpful! Thank you so much!!


fencesitter42

This is strange to me. I was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder. No one ever questioned it. When I questioned it my concerns were brushed off. I was eventually diagnosed with PTSD, but that too was probably wrong. Not only do people not question bipolar diagnoses, they diagnose other people with it all the time, saying so and so is bipolar when they obviously have no understanding of what the disorder even is. And the best studies on the issue have shown that half or more of people diagnosed with bipolar disorder were diagnosed incorrectly. No one seems bothered by this. If I say I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and it was changed to PTSD, some people react like maybe I really am bipolar and the PTSD diagnosis was a mistake. I'm not yet diagnosed with ASD, but the autism specialist I recently talked to thought I probably would be in the full evaluation I have scheduled in a couple of weeks. There is definitely reason to suspect autism. Over the years I talked to multiple psychiatrists and multiple therapists. but it did not occur to a single one of them that I might be autistic, which angers me because learning about autism has been more helpful than anything I got from the mental health system. It has been one of the best things to ever happen to me. And by the way, my daughter suggested to me I might be autistic and encouraged me to find out more about it from autistic people online. When I did I was blown away with the similarities between me and (other) autistic people. And she learned about it from the people on TikTok. So I am grateful to them. I doubt anyone would fake autism, because why would you pretend to be something people look down on, but even if they are I am very grateful because without them I'd still be stuck trying to find some way to see myself as an acceptable person who is equal to the people around me. \[Edit: I was first diagnosed bipolar in a fifteen minute conversation with a psychiatrist who met me for the first time that day. I was diagnosed with PTSD in two one-hour conversations and the psychiatrist was only that careful because I'd had a bipolar diagnosis for so long. An autism diagnosis is much more intensive. It is treated differently by everyone.\]


officially_anxious

Same here: bipolar, *schizophrenia*, a bunch of personality disorders. They pretty much threw everything at me with no regard for how well I fit the symptoms. Everyone loves to lose their fucking minds worrying about the physical harm of being misdiagnosed with ASD. Well at least ASD doesn’t generally involve a battery of extremely dangerous and harmful drugs! Anti-psychotics can be incredibly bad for you and contribute to the low life expectancy of schizophrenic patients. I was diagnosed schizophrenic in a 10 minute conversation, without meeting the diagnostic criteria, at 18 years old. It was **doctors** who caused me harm by getting the diagnosis wrong, and they did it repeatedly, and over state and country borders. They suck at diagnosing autism. And they also suck at diagnosing Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, Schizophrenia, Personality Disorders, and innumerable other conditions, otherwise I would not have been diagnosed with them. These are the same doctors who say you cannot be depressed because if you were really depressed you’d go and commit suicide. I don’t think they have yet earned our trust.


StuckInPurgatory39

I'm autistic and advocate for fakers being shamed but not the people who are genuinely autistic and are in the process of getting diagnosed. A lot of people are faking it and spreading misinformation about it in return. I hate to see autism exploited by people who say they don't need a doctor to diagnose them because they have the internet...it's just so ignorant.


oofhelia

because nts need some way to project to hatred on autistic folks.


TheotheStray

I have no idea and it's so hard to deal with. Sick of explaining myself.


CyndiIsOnReddit

They're like "pro-life" organizations. They don't care about saving lives, they care about controlling people. My oldest friend played this crap with me. She argued when I told her I was formally diagnosed. She said she knew I wasn't autistic and that these clinics will diagnose anyone, and she knows this because she works with a woman who's so is "like really autistic! like really REALLY autistic! and you aren't ANYTHING like that!" And she even got mad because she said I was using it as an excuse not to work. Because even though I've worked most of my life since I was 14 I work from home and that's not Real Work. Forty years of friendship down the toilet. I tried to move past this conversation but every time I would bring up autism she would make some snarky remark so I eventually quit answering when she called.


Highplowp

I’ve never heard of this, why would someone care how someone else chooses to label themselves? People need to just worry about themselves.


I_Am_Justin_Tyler

Because at the core we don't effect them. Their personal happiness with their own sense of self does. Some people help and care about an issue bc they care and it's important. Some people care because then they can feel good for caring about something. One of these is purely selfish in nature and the other is purely selfless.


itsbigoleme

Im not NT but I hate people who fake their disorders bc I feel like it further stigmatizes it. I can barely convince my family I’m autistic bc they think I should look like or act like those are faking or those who are more severe than my case. so when people fake to be autistic it genuinely pisses me off. I think it seems like they care more about catching people who are faking autism bc it’s rampant on Tik Tok which makes it a problem. Autistic people just being autistic on tik tok isn’t gonna really cause a huge issue which means they aren’t gonna talk about it much. Just human nature


tgc12

Almost no one fakes a disorder. Sometimes some people seam to be faking but they most probably have another problem which got confused by doctors / health professionals, and they subconsciously imitate the symptoms doctors (or other people) tell them they should have, along with the ones they really have. Which it's really bad because it becomes even more difficult to give them the right diagnosis and get them the help they really need. Suggestion is a powerful thing. One extreme case of this are hypochondriacs.


eboyoj

people do fake disorders if u think they dont ur too trusting there are TONS of people that have been caught out straight up faking tourettes, autism, adhd etc.


tgc12

Learn to read, people DO fake disorders but they are in the absolute minority. Maybe you are the one that got caught in the social networks magnifying glass.


eboyoj

you should learn to read because your comment said absolutely no one fakes a disorder so the fact youre tell me to read bc i told u ur wrong and ppl do fake them jjst shows ur immaturity


tgc12

>Almost no one fakes a disorder yEaH rIgHt?! That means: >absolutely no one fakes a disorder Do the world a favor and stop embarrassing yourself.


eboyoj

do the world a favor and stop embarrassing yourself - said by someone who thinks no one fakes disorders bc they trust the internet too much and thibks whatever they say is as gospel as the bible


SayFuzzyPickles42

I mean, I'm autistic and I'm very against this trend.... I think people who misrepresent us for attention are not only offensive but extremely counterproductive to actually raising awareness and acceptance.


virgowitchx

this "trend" is what led me to get a professional diagnosis 😐


-Proterra-

Not just neurotypicals, my experience is that most people on the spectrum who attend support/therapy groups and receive formal support are also very skeptical about self-diagnosing. Especially where I live as formal diagnosis is rather readily available over here with minimal waiting times and little to no costs. It's strange, on social media it's full of "self-diagnosed" people, but in real life I meet very few, in fact, none at all at the places I attend. Personally, I hope this trend of seeing autism as a quirky identity stays on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, considering that when autism is going to be primarily seen as a quirky identity by most non-autistics *(who do make up around 99.26% of the population and are generally wealthier as well)* chances exist that they will not want their taxes to pay for my support and many of us may lose some or all of it, especially when there's no intellectual disability present.


virgowitchx

It makes sense that you haven't met any self diagnosed autistics though. You even said yourself that sources are readily available. Most self diagnosed autistics don't want to stay that way but have to because of long waiting lists, lack of money, ignorant parents, prejudice, etc. In many places, getting a diagnosis is a privilege and tbh saying "just get diagnosed" to someone who can't is like telling a poor person "just get a better job".


-Proterra-

On social media I see plenty of other things really - lots of "self-diagnosed" people who claim autism is just an identity, that professional diagnosis isn't necessary, even going as far as saying there's no difference in functioning - this is the kind of nonsense, when it catches on with the general population, that would get supports taken away really. A few years ago I'd readily accept self-diagnosis, but what I've seen happening (coming mainly from the US) in recent years has totally made me reconsider my point of view on the matter. Just because Americans have no access to proper mental health care doesn't mean the rest of the world has to be brought down to their standards, and so yes, I really hope that this particular trend stays on their side of the Atlantic.


virgowitchx

Functioning labels are pretty bad though. They oversimplify what autism really is. For example, one "high functioning" autistic might have little to no problem in loud environments, and another "high functioning" autistic might have meltdowns in loud environments. One might be able to finish their homework in an hour or less because of hyperfocus, and another may need extra time because they can't focus on anything that isn't a special interest. And as for the "we dont want to be brought down to your level thing", no one's asking you of that. Just be sympathetic of those who are less privileged.


-Proterra-

I'm high-functioning because I can survive by myself, I don't set my house on fire, I don't set myself on fire, I know to use a toilet. I'm still being assessed for level three support needs after my last stay on the psych ward because I completely lose it when there's any serious disruption affecting me, as in I sometimes forget to eat for three days because there's a sudden unexpected change in plans. Yet I'm high-functioning. People who don't understand the difference between functioning labels and support needs should visit the centre in Gdynia during day care for low functioning adults, and come back during the therapy/support group where I attend for high-functioning, high support needs adults. As for being sympathetic for those less privileged, I am very much so. Nevertheless, self-diagnosis and pushing autism as an identity rather than a disability is really dangerous. I understand that this is what Americans like because they have no healthcare and love group identities, but unfortunately they also have a large online presence, and their ideas spill into Europe. And while they might not mean it that way, their comments are still being read, taken serious, and risk being used by people here to take away funding for supports in ASD, which would especially affect people like me who are very intelligent, have no other disabilities, but who has real support needs due to ASD, and who lives in a country where many people still look up to America, especially the generation of the policy makers. And that's what I meant with "bringing down" - Americans simply have too much cultural influence on the West, despite their country being a glorified third-world kleptocracy. So no, I can not support any form of self-diagnosis, and I wish Europeans on the spectrum would unite in this, so that it becomes absolutely clear that self-diagnosis is not supported by the majority of those on the spectrum, but that its just a seppo thing. Because its really dangerous for people with high intelligence and high support needs in places where public healthcare exists, where ASD support is funded by taxes and by private sources, and where this funding might get removed if the majority of the public responsible for funding thinks that makes sense. And then we have a situation like America here.


officially_anxious

Speak for yourself. I’m not American and don’t live in North America, and I do not agree with you. You don’t speak for Europeans, you speak only for yourself.


-Proterra-

You don't have to agree with me, and sure, I speak primarily for myself, but I don't know anyone around here who receives formal support for ASD who does not agree largely with my opinion. Including many clinicians I know, including many people actually employed in this field. And in my country (Poland) there's a lot of people who are actually diagnosed with ASD who work as support workers due to the way disability support is actually set up here, and also because up to 10 years ago or so, Poland was **\*really\*** bad in this regards. Nevertheless, whenever I hear someone who doesn't even have a formal diagnosis starting about *"the autistic community..." -* my first reaction is exactly the same; **"speak for your damned self."** Most of the time, these people have no idea what life is like for people with actual support needs, let alone for those who can't live independently. And that is not to say that I hate my neurology, there's actually quite a lot of parts I really enjoy about it, but I'm sick and tired about people telling what *"the autistic community"* apparently wants when nobody ever consulted me or anyone I know, let alone the people who actually have carers and can't survive independently, and most of the time, those who claim to speak in name of *"the autistic community"* are either self-diagnosed, or if they have a formal diagnosis, they've either have extremely low support needs, barely making a clinical threshold, or they're from upper-middle class families and never really had to worry about anything in life. These three groups literally make up over 90% of those claiming to speak in name of *"the autistic community"* So, if these would actually also start speaking for themselves, it would be absolutely gorgeous.


The_ded_lolee

Identity politics.


tokyotuner

One thing I would say is to remember not all NTs are like this. Just as in individuals with ASD, there is a range (aka a spectrum) of NTs as well. A lot of NTs will do their best to understand and support Those with ASD and would believe someone who said they were autistic even if self-diagnosed. It’s easy to fall into the trappings of believing all NTs are the same, when that isn’t the case (I know most of you already know this). Whether you are on or off the spectrum, there are always selfish unempathetic assholes.


Dark_Lord_Mr_B

Confirmation Bias


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GoyangiStudios32

I've never had this happen


chartheanarchist

"faking" autism should be a sign of autism. Nobody else would go around saying they have autism


virgowitchx

idk if it's a sign of autism specifically but I have heard that faking disabilities and mental illness is a sign of a mental illness (idk which one tho)


BumbleJoD

Because selfdiagnosed autistics doesnt have autism if they've been told so by doctors. It's easy, really.


magnoliawalls

I’ve seen a lot of posts where people go to the doctor and are told they can’t possibly be autistic because (off the top of my head, from the posts I can remember) they can make eye contact, have a job, a partner/ children, can empathise with others, live alone, seem ‘normal’. A lot of professionals don’t seem to have much knowledge about autism.


virgowitchx

^THIS. sometimes professionals are just as dumb ad non-professionals


fins4ever

As a diagnosed person, don't lump me in with you in cheerleading people who think a Google search is the same as a doctor. Pretending to be disabled is wildly offensive and I can't stand people doing it. NTs care because they find the idea of someone like themselves pretending to be disabled very offensive. Imagine how you'd feel if someone you knew was not disabled decided to use a fake wheelchair and park in handicap spots


virgowitchx

I am also diagnosed and ur missing the point.


fins4ever

Am I, though? How do you not get pissed off by people pretending to have a disability you have actually had to live with your whole life?


virgowitchx

I do though. That's the point you're missing. What does not bother me is self diagnosis as long as they do it right.


fins4ever

Self diagnosis is by definition not done right. Diagnosis of a mental disorder can only be done by a medical professional


virgowitchx

ok but they're doing it to help and understand themselves. that's way different from faking it for attention and it's gross to lump them in together.


fins4ever

Well sure, their motives are not usually malicious, but still it's the wrong thing to do.


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[удалено]


virgowitchx

what about the teenage white girls that are autistic tho.......


[deleted]

[удалено]


virgowitchx

ok and how will you know who's faking and who's not.


Gloomberrypie

Wow, this is a transphobic, homophobic, and sexist take