T O P
AutoModerator

# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Branesergen

Oh dear God son you've got a whole life ahead of you, make of it what you want! You've been an adult for 12 years and still got 50 to go. You can still meet all kinds of beautiful women, have tons of rugrats and do anything you desire.


guapomalo

I started hygiene school at 31. You got this.


NegotiationWarm3334

I finished my my college degree a few months before I turned 50. If you're still breathing then it's not too late.


Bao_The_Wyld72

My mom was in her mid 50s when she started medical school and she wasn't even they oldest person in her class


[deleted]

This makes me happy to hear tbh


unreliabledrugdealer

I met the love of my life at 43. You have a whole lot of life to live. It's a numbers game. You gotta put yourself out there & be positive & good things will happen.


Remote_Ability_7179

I needed to hear this today.


lenbedesma

That’s reassuring. People these days kinda suck even in their early 30’s. You make a connection with someone and it just disappears without warning, like they had an epiphany without you. Maybe that’s just my experience. Sometimes I wonder if I have really bad breath that nobody wants to tell me about


thebbc79

“No Rugrats”


Express-Peanut6582

Underrated comment


Kruppyboi

Why is he going do die at 80 😞 he’s my friend, I want him to live as long as he wants


Stoooooj

I was a serious heroin, crack, and cocaine addict and turned it around just about that age. Although I made a huge mistake of focusing on women too early rather than myself. It consumed way too much of my energy and focus and became unhealthy in itself. Stay strong!


jcdoe

Hell yeah, listen to this guy, OP! Your sister is a jerk, it’s never too late to stop throwing your life away. I wouldn’t define success too narrowly, though. Maybe you’ll find the right woman to settle down with, maybe not. Either way, you can still have an amazing, sober life. Just gotta stay sober and keep focusing on your (very bright) future. Best of luck, OP! This redditor is rooting for you. :)


BreakingThoseCankles

As for something i said to someone in recovery recently "look I don't judge upon your far past. What makes you, you from here on out are the choices you make in the here and now and the ones for your future. Just make sure their the right ones!" I feel everyone in recovery needs to hear that. They spend so much time regretting the wasted time, they forget of all the extra time they're now giving themselves in the future. I feel it helps them remember it's in the past and their future is theirs


Pokegoth666

You are never to old to turn your life around. And improud of you for being almost a year clean!!! Of course you can still meet a beautiful and caring woman. Keep going dude, i believe in you!


BrandoLoudly

And don’t even sweat it like you’re turning your life around. Just work hard and put good energy out into the world and opportunities of all kinds will cross your path. 30s not even old either


SassyPikachuu

To add, don’t listen to the haters. OPs sister should keep her mouth shut if she doesn’t have anything nice or supportive to say.


reyballesta

The only time it's too late is the time you're in the ground. Anything before that, you have a chance.


[deleted]

That’s complete bullshit. You can most definitely turn your life around at 30. Congrats on being almost a year clean that’s great you’re going into dental hygiene!! I worked at a dental office for a year and they make bank. $40-$50 an hour. Best of luck! I live in Colorado and the minimum a hygienist makes is $42 an hour and it goes as high to $65 an hour. Most of these people don’t know what the fuck they are talking about. Also lots of attractive/ pretty women who are hygienists so you’ll be in luck!


LongHardOutlaw57

Do you think I can handle dental hygiene school if I'm strong enough to beat addiction and I already have a bachelor's degree in computer technology with a 3.875 gpa?


[deleted]

Most definitely!! You’re smart. The courses will be different obviously more about the body, anatomy and teeth. You can always take 1-2 classes at a time if you feel overwhelmed. How come you don’t want to go back into computers??


LongHardOutlaw57

My real passion is oral care and being of service to people. Computers just don't satisfy my soul. I can't enjoy that 21st century high paced bullshit


just_sayi

Good for you. You’ll be helping people and earning a decent living. I’m so proud of you, OP. You’re so young, and you’re doing amazing! Keep going 🤩


Touchit88

That's awesome. Computers are soul sucking things. It's what I do cuz I don't know anything else or have any dreams. Follow your passion!


smelborp_ynam

Me too


FullmetalActivis

yea two years deep in my tech career and my computers are almost done sucking my soul out


dougielou

I think someone with your background will make a compassionate and empathetic hygienist. I know a few people who have put off their dental health after getting clean from drugs out of embarrassment. So excited for you!!


Mediocre_Trifle5306

Bro, if you I survived Meth, pretty sure gonna have school licked! Proud of you, go for it!!!


Scary-Egg-6510

Dental hygiene school is a walk in the park compared to overcoming meth addiction


f02f2e6fa0b3

And as OP knows, part of overcoming a meth addiction is cutting certain people out of your life, the ones who drag you back down. The same thing applies to turning your life around, you need to stop letting people in your life drag you down. You probably need to have a hard discussion with your sister about her changing the way she talks to you, or you might need to let her go along with the dealers and junkies you used to consider friends.


Sideways_X1

Hell, be the dentist if you want. Time and effort. Battle with addiction is never over, just kept in check a day at a time.


FoxFuckingMulder

\#word


Bandedironformation

Didn’t know how badly I needed to hear this today…thanks internet stranger And OP….I don’t believe in ever closing a door fully on a family member but…your sister sounds like a chode. You got this dude, go take care of some teeth you fucking beautiful bastard, keep on keepin on


KyeMorgan2022

Hell yes!


[deleted]

[удалено]


LongHardOutlaw57

How long does it take to feel normal after getting clean?


BaconAlmighty

I'd say like any other addiction it's a day at a time kind of thing.


Weekly_Pea9203

“Normal” is a setting on a dryer. Be yourself. Like everyone else has said “One day at a time” One step at a time.


LongHardOutlaw57

Im talking about the process of the brain balancing out after addiction.


thunderbeastlive

They say symptoms of PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome) will gradually decrease over 3-5 years. I dealt with alcohol addiction and I'm a Doctor, but still have days where I feel confused or anxious


TWSS-7

I agree here. I’m 19 months clean from alcohol and opioids and while I felt so much better around the year mark, I still have so far and so much healing to do. My guess was 3-5 years as well. Just can’t give up on yourself and you’ve got this. Congrats on your clean time, you’re going to do amazing things! I’m 38 and haven’t even begun whatever I’ll do for life yet, lol.


Choice_Ad_6230

I'll leave my comment up, but thanks for clearing this.


ElDuderino4ever

It took me 18 months till I really felt “normal” again after I got clean. You’re doing great. I’m proud of you. I know how big an accomplishment this is.


LongHardOutlaw57

Was there a big difference? Did you feel like a whole new person?


ElDuderino4ever

Yes. I want from homeless heroin and meth addict to rockstar Tesla employee in 5 months. But I worked HARD in rehab. I was finishing assignments days early, I was hungry. I also did EMDR therapy which helped tremendously. I highly recommend it if you have any ptsd. Edit: autocorrect mistake


Due-Application-1061

EMDR rocks. Used it twenty years ago to overcome childhood sex abuse


missdine

Talk with your doc, of course. EMDR was not helpful for me, but it is helpful for others. :)


ElDuderino4ever

EMDR is great for PTSD specifically. I also did and still do regular therapy. I’m sorry it didn’t work for you. I have a friend with sensory issues that it didn’t help either. I hope you found something that did work.


missdine

PTSD for me too. Just years of talk therapy with some exposure therapy mixed in there. I’m still not really over one of the PTSD events but my current strategy is just not to go to the place that triggers it. Maybe one day I’ll make more progress 😅 I’m really glad EMDR worked for you. It’s evidence based so it certainly does work for some!


Choice_Ad_6230

God dammit, I love to hear this.


Pristine_Guidance406

the way that meth destroys your brain is slightly different to other drugs (which I'm sure you already know). the major factor is giving your brain time to rebuild. that neuroplasticity is why we can recover; the time is the only thing that works. someone said about 18 months somewhere in the comments. in my experience, that has been the case for a lot of people. the somewhere between a year and a year and a half. and, no, you don't suddenly become a whole new person. at least not in the way you are expecting. you are used to the idea of being high and superhuman, and the way people talk about growth often follows that terminology in a weird and unhelpful way. it's more like driving past a house that is being built. and every day you notice a little bit more is constructed and you think "huh." and then, one day, suddenly, BAM. there's a whole damn house right there and you notice the crew has all cleared out. and you think "I did notice the house being built, but it's somewhat suprising that now it's finished. and, actually, now that I think of it, I'm pretty sure it was done several days ago but I just forgot to look." basically, you slowly build a stable structure that wasn't previously there, and you do it all while you barely even notice it happening. and then, kaboom. all the sudden it's a rock-solid house. and the way you feel is primarily just calm and safe. you'll know you're there when the "volume" of your emotions is something you can regulate, you plan ahead for menial tasks, your self-care routines are effortless and require very little prompting, and everything no longer has the same sense of profoundness or importance. but you probably won't notice when it happens until several weeks later.


Useful-Feature-0

I never messed with uppers too much, so this is from opiate / alcohol addictions (severe ones): After two months, I was not longer actively suffering every day. After a year, I felt mostly normal. Like, no longer miserable-just-trying-to-get-through-the-day. But that benchmark happened to coincide with me getting a job I was proud to have and that forcing a good routine. Getting out of the house. Talking to people. Not oversleeping. This is why your goal to go to a dental hygiene program is great - you're timing things the same way I did and it's 4 years later for me - still doing well.


Fart_Stick

I know I'm kind of just jumping in here, but in my personal experience, 1.5 - 2 years was where I felt like I had a better grasp on things, mentally. I don't feel the same as I did before using, which is to be expected. Meth does a number on the brain and it takes time to heal. I did a lot of word searches and puzzles on my phone during that time and I think that helped me a lot. I'm 30 btw, 3 years clean off meth. I'm proud of you. Surround yourself with more positive people.


pookachu83

I'm a former opiate addict, 39 years old. For one, yes, you can restart life at whatever age you please. You need to set boundaries with that person and let them.know you're already in a battle, you don't need anymore negativity. And as far as your other question, I'm not sure about meth, I did alcohol, benzos and opiates, quit alcohol in 2010 and opiates in 2016. It took me about 3 years before I felt fully 100% mentally but you will start feeling more and more normal after a year, even sooner. I know the brain bounces back faster from stimulants than some other substances. But you will still have your moments here and there. Anything you go through will be better than the hell of addiction.


Expert-Cat-6216

please see my other comment, 2 yrs, msg me if u wanna talk ever and good luck one addict to another


pattiedp

Have nephew 30 and neice 34, both recovering living best life at 2 and 6 yr clean. YOU'RE GOING TO DO WONDERFUL THINGS! Keep doing program and lean on family and friends!! God bless and good luck!!


ATXKLIPHURD

Sounds like you already are turning around. Keep the momentum going!


ayaruna

Too late is the day you die.


crusttysack

never to late


Small_Tax_9432

Dude you are 11 MONTHS clean! It takes an enormous amount of strength to get that far! Your sister doesn't know shit. Don't listen to her. That is a fucking victory my friend! And you have goals! You're doing phenomenal man! Keep the momentum going and your life will be freakin' sweet! And as far as meeting a caring and beautiful woman goes, you just never know man. You might go to a class or a job and bam! You meet someone. Life is unexpected like that, but you're on a positive trajectory so keep at it! 😃


LongHardOutlaw57

Will I attract better people when I'm doing well?


Small_Tax_9432

Most likely yes. The thing is you gotta build your self confidence. Basically, become someone YOU yourself like. After all, the person you spend the most time with in your life is you, so imagine how powerful you'll be when you like yourself? That kind of energy and attitude is attractive. And the thing is, when you become that, when you meet someone, you won't try so hard to try and impress them. You'll be happy either way. And THAT'S really attractive. I had a similar experience during my orientation in college. Basically I liked myself back then and sat down to this girl and started chatting. The thing is though, I didn't have any expectations or anything, and basically was just being myself. I was happy with whatever would happen next. If you can get to the point where you're happy with yourself no matter what, you'll be surprised what happens. Women love a guy who's comfortable in his own skin, but they hate desperation (it's like a repellent). Anyways, I'm proud of you dude. You're kicking ass in life man. 🙂


Soggy_Concept9993

Only if you’re a good person.


8urnMeTwice

I'm 47 and finally addressing my addictions. If you told me I would be 11 months clean at 30, I would have been ecstatic. You have a golden opportunity. Politely tell your sister to go f herself


d_dynasty

You're right brother


CirothUngol

Damn, sounds like you need a better class of sibling.


cheercheer00

Right? Sounds like she needs OP to stay small. I wouldn't pay her much mind.


Whisper26_14

Better yet I’d get away from that toxicity. It’s not helpful.


SilverLakeSimon

To be fair, OP’s sister may still be hurt and disappointed with him for what he put the family through during his years of addiction. I think she’ll come around once she sees her brother has turned a corner.


[deleted]

Exactly. A lot of people with drug addiction says they're "recovering" a lot and then comes back. His sister most probably had enough of his bullshit after everything his family had to endure. Nobody here knows the true story.


[deleted]

Yeah. We don’t know the full story. I’m proud of OP but she might not even believe him anymore.


docmn612

Tell your sister to eat a dick, dude...


LongHardOutlaw57

She's dating a guy that sits on his ass all day playing Madden and smoking weed. She's been dating him for 24 years but says she won't marry him


docmn612

Yeah, bunch of fucking losers bro. You're making extremely positive changes in your life, and it's never too late to do so. It wasn't meth, but I was an alcoholic. I quit drinking at 30 and turned my life around too. I'm actually rather irrationally pissed off at what your sister said. Like I'm getting heated typing this, it's weird.


Bean-Swellington

No same, pills for me, but same. Fuck that shit, she’s an asshole.


NightshadeGardener

Sounds like sis is a bit jealous…


Upbeat_Cat1182

She’s the one who has wasted her time. Honestly, she probably has similar issues as you had, but just dealt with them in different ways. One of the hardest things in the world is to get control of your own mind, body and emotions. You are doing that. You can do *anything* you set your mind to. No one’s life is perfect or free from mistakes. Put your mistakes in the past. Onward!


hanutaphile

Well there you go. She’s unable to turn her life around, so she wants to bring you down too. Pathetic. We are all really proud of you and the things you’re gonna do. Walk away from her garbage and be free.


smeeti

30 is young! You managed to get yourself clean and on the way to a great career, what would she rather you do? Give up? She sounds negative and toxic so I’d keep a distance if I were you.


SensitiveWriter42

You dead? Then there is always time to make changes.


farlos75

Bro, 30 is nothing. Anyway, even if you die tomorrow, you can still have one good day right? A good life is one that's just built by a lot of single good days. You got this man.


Extreme-Cupcake5929

You can rebuild as many times as you need to & your sis is a full on judge mental bihh


cheekiemunky13

It's never too late! I'm pissed at your sister for saying something so stupid. Is she naturally an asshole or is she just trying to lord your former addiction over your head to make herself feel superior?


Persianx6

You’re 30 not dead. Obviously there’s still time. Ignore her.


milkynipples69

Listen to the song never too late by three days grace. Dude wrote it about his struggles with addiction and I believe he was late 20s when he was in rehab and wrote the song


MysteriousShake7676

You can di it, it's never too late! FYI 30 is not too old


Affectionate_Fly1413

First of all you dont need that negativity around you. She may be your family but family can be shitty sometimes. Try to avoid her as much as you can


FewKaleidoscope1369

Are you breathing? There's still time.


Bean-Swellington

Your sister is an asshole. Yeah, you’ve got plenty of time for anything you want in life. Keep working on you. Keep growing and becoming a better person. You have plenty of time to meet and build a life with someone amazing, plenty of people get married and have kids well after 30 Some people won’t ever give you a fair chance when they find out about your history with addiction but those aren’t people you want in your life, dating or otherwise. Be prepared for it and be prepared to shake it off and move on, people like that won’t ever understand the struggle to get clean, or the struggle to stay clean. Hang in there, dude, you’ll find your person or your people 🖖🏼


roundbellyrhonda

Using addiction as a filter to keep out people that are judgemental is a great tool. I think when you’re younger it makes you feel less than but as you get older you realize it’s a great tool for keeping out the bullshit


[deleted]

With all due respect your sisters full of shit. Everyday you wake up is a day you’re winning. Best of luck


ACam574

Going to take a random guess that when your sister talks about the highlights of her life it usually starts with something like 'In my senior year...'. Can't imagine how miserable her life is that she thinks 30 is 'too old'.


blueberryyoshi24

Your sister is a dummy. It's never too late bro


misfittryinghard

You're family sounds like a good reason to start an addiction. I'm so sorry that anyone, nevermind family, would say that to you. You are still young and people change later in life all the time. I'm not saying it's a breeze, but don't give up. Someone will admire your strength and see your personality. Just focus on you. It'll happen.


randomdragen

your sis is a bad person


MichiganGeezer

My first thought was "why does she want him to keep being an addict?"


Alive_Type7907

If that’s what your sister thinks it’s because that would be true for her and her mindset. You can do it


Torrall

Yep. I was an addict for several years, getting sober the first few times I stumbled because I was like "wah I cant be successful I just threw it all away" ​ ​ nope. If you continue to avoid using and put your time into healthy things, the world is your oyster. ​ and having gone through what you've gone through, continue to grow and you will experience a happiness few are lucky enough to be able to recognize. Never ever too late to turn things around. Your sister is just bitter and probably dealing with her own shit and projecting that on you.


BLOOD-MOON69

Been clean 6 years, i have 2 kids and a loving boyfriend.


Intelligent-Jelly419

Can you turn your life around? You already have. You’re clean, and going to school. Keep going, keep working and set goals. Have faith in yourself and stop communicating with your sister before she causes you to relapse.


ColeusRattus

You literally have the rest of your life to figure shit out, turn stuff around or reinvent yourself. Go for it.


Global_Tangerine1842

My dude....You've not even MET all the people who are going to love you


FriendliestUsername

Forget about the woman for now, unless it’s motivation and just work on you man. Fuck your sister and her unhelpful bullshit.


lincolnhawk

Of course, your sister doesn’t know shit.


nibiyabi

I turned my life around at 32. You got this.


aquabarron

Yes, your sister is just an asshole. 30 is young idk what she’s talking about


leoncarcosa

It seems you get a lot of encouragement from the r/ask community which is great. Realistically you should take a step back and be devoted to sobriety. 11 months clean is good, but you have a long way to go. It's a lifestyle, you will always be an addict, such is the disease. Be wary of friends old and new, you can meet a woman but you'll have to be open and honest about your disease. Don't be so quick to meet a woman and just live sober, let the healthy relationships come naturally. Go to meetings, get a sponsor, stay on the path and you'll be fine.


digitalcrucifixion

Most reasonable answer in this entire comment section.


hereferever

There is always time to make life better. We all move at different speeds and live life differently. It's never too late.


bathshebat

It is never too late. 30 is still relatively young. You have decades ahead of you. Lots of people don't truly find stability and happiness until they are older, lots of people lose their youth to trauma, to poverty, to mental illness, etc. Lots of people don't build real success until middle age. I just had my first child at 34. Imagine being 40, 50, 60, and regretting not starting to live your life now. Go out and do the shit you haven't been able to do, discover your passions, and you will find people who want the same things. Love doesn't end after your 20s.


broadsharp

You can do it. It may be a bit harder, but your dedication to better yourself will push you through. Do your best. Stay mentally strong. And never stop moving forward. Best wishes.


Possible_corn

Fuck yea, dedication to improving oneself is essential to move forward in this day and age. I was a pretty shit person a decade ago. Applying logic very similar to this has gotten me FAR. Beef up your brain and explore your wide range of interests, and focus on fulfilling your wishes with those. Also just keep learning what you want to learn. Bound to hit some nails on the head.


MrWindblade

You've got at least one year left. You can do a lot with one year. You just have to want to.


Fluid-Yogurtcloset49

It is never too late!!! You can move past this!!! You ARE moving past this!!!! You are doing great, keep trying!!! Don't let someone set you back with their negativity. You deserve love and support. You will find a lovely partner in time. Focus on you, and trust your gut. You are doing an amazing job!!!! You can do this!!!


l3sham

As long as there's air in your lungs there's hope.


palfreygames

Fuck that bitch, I'd rather turn my life around at 30 than 40!. What CANT you do


Corvayan

I know a woman who overcame heroin addiction and alcoholism at the age of 40 . She started shooting at 15. After two decades of joblessness and periods of homelessness she now has a nice apartment and a decent job. But her most important step was cutting out all the toxic people in her life and focusing only on the supportive ones.


WyomingVet

Of course, you can I have done it. Wasn't addicted to meth but I had made a mess of my life.


BruceWillis1963

It is never too old to start a clean life. You are young! Keith Richards was a heroin addict in his 30's and he turned it around. He even quit smoking two years ago!! Robert Downey Jr. was 38 when he beat his addictions. Never look back. One day at a time. Never count the length of time you are clean. It gives you an excuse to dabble. Just get through each day!!


NJ2CAthrowaway

Ignore your sister. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Focus on you: your health, your sobriety, your future. The other things will come when you are focused on being the best you that you can be.


Commercial-Rush755

You’ve got 2/3 of your life to live. Someone said that out of jealousy. Stay on the path! I got clean in my 40’s, late 40’s btw. You’re going to be great. And great career choice too!


Hopps4Life

You are only 30. Of course you have time. Most of my mom's family waited to 38-45 before they found the women they married. All very happy. Some have kids now. 30 isn't that old. Your sister sounds toxic. Don't listen to her. Find some friends that like the same hobbies you do.


DropDeadGaming

your sister is stupid and jealous you achieved something, even if that was getting out of a shitty situation. You can do and be whatever you want. it's never too late. Morgan Freeman's first big role was at his 50+. You might be the next Morgan Freeman for all you know.


karlorangepilkers

Tell your sister that 38 isn’t too old to quit being an asshole. But she has to make an effort.


WawaSkittletitz

My 30s we're an amazing decade for me. They're going to be for you, also.


TyrionReynolds

You have so much time! I’m 39 and the life I have now didn’t really start until my mid-30s. IDK why it’s important to your sister to knock you back down while you’re doing well but I’m sorry that it’s happening. One of the worst parts of turning your life around is realizing that some people in your life preferred it when you were struggling.


ChiefyPoof

It’s never too late. My grandfather, my dad’s dad was a tyrant. He was a tyrant to my dad’s older brother and sister, my uncle and aunt. When they, my uncle and aunt left home, they got as far away as possible and rarely, if ever, came back to visit. My dad is much younger than them and was basically raised as an only child. My grandfather was still a tyrant while my dad was growing up. It wasn’t until I was about 14 and my grandma, his wife, passed away, that he became the kindest, most loving man you could ever meet. He didn’t become kind till he was in his early to mid 80’s. He moved to be closer us after my grandma passed and I finally got to have a wonderful relationship with him. My dad’s sister moved to be closer to us and him. She and my grandfather were able to repair their relationship. He passed when he was in his mid 90’s. I feel fortunate for him that he was able to live at least 10 to 12 years of his life being the kind of person we would all hope to be. My dad always told me, it’s never too late to grow up. I didn’t get my undergrad till I was 34. You always have time, it’s never too late.


nowherehere

You can. 30's plenty young enough. There will be great people in dental hygiene school and crappy people too. That's okay. Try to only hang out with the great ones.


Sqantoo

Yes you can. Your sister sounds toxic. You have plenty of time.


Sarah_Jane_73

Never to late. And if you need inspiration there are lists of other late bloomers [list article](https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/over-30-success-stories-twitt/)


OkLeadership2166

I feel like for you to even post this question you haven’t had enough people tell you that you’re kicking ass just making it to 11 months. You’re kicking ass congrats on 11 months


Tacosicle

It is never too late to turn your life around. No offense but F\*\*k your sister.


SecurityPanda

Fuck that. My life didn’t even start getting better until I turned 30. If you’re breathing and mobile, then it isn’t too late. Congrats on being sober, good luck staying that way!


Constantyne13

Trust me dude, this is the perfect time to turn it around.


VirginiaPlatt

Oh sweetness! You're a youngin. You've got time. You can take a full decade to feel like you're on stable footing and you'll STILL be younger than I am now. I hit bottom at 36. Right now I'm typing during a lunch break from my fantastic WFH dreamjob, in my house, with my dog. Mostly healthy, mostly happy. You've got time. You've got this. You have time to start, fuck up a few times, and restart. One day, one step, one moment at a time.


MarginallyMack

It is absolutely never too late to turn things around. You could be 80 years old and still meet someone who will love you. Don't listen to your sister, she's just speaking in overrated society expectations. Most people think you need to be settled down before your 30s, but that is absolutely false! You've fought your way to get where you are and you will find someone to be proud of you for that and more for the rest of your life. I'm proud of you for being clean for this long, as I'm sure most people would be. It's hard to beat that kind of situation, but you managed it! Not to mention you have plans for the future! Look ahead as the better person you are with a bright future ahead of you! You got this dude!


Iamdickburns

It's never too late


ShinNefzen

30 is too old? If you're an anime character, maybe. But no, 30 is young. If you stay healthy you're not even halfway through life.


vester71

Never ever too late, keep things moving forward!!


gryphmaster

There is a concept in psychology called internal and external locii of personality. Its basically your internal view of yourself vs other people’s view of who you are You may be in an environment where other people’s views of you, the external, are influencing your internal view My best advice is to remove yourself from that environment- they will consistently hold you back by telling you that you cannot do things because they do not see you as someone who can. This in turn will poison your self image and limit what you believe yourself capable of You are very strong to be taking these steps to improve your life. Your family is likely not as strong, and will not want to see you succeed as they previously could look at you at your lowest and feel better about their own lives. Don’t let yourself become their whipping dog just because you went through a rough patch, which they probably helped exacerbate if they talk to you in the way I suspect. Be better than them and move forward


Curious-Site-2089

Tell your sister to go fuck herself


76543pattyp

You got this! I got clean at the ripe old age of 56. My DOC was meth. Life is so much better now! ‘Normal people’ can’t understand and support you in the same way that recovering addicts can who have been through what you’re going through and done it clean. You can do this!!! Life will steadily get better. That’s not to say it’ll be rainbows and unicorns. My brother died then a few months later I lost my mom during my first year and a half clean. But I got through it. The pain of losing them actually comforted me in a weird way. I was able to feel the pain and grieve which felt ‘right’, like it honored my love for them. Hard to explain. What I’m trying to convey is that life gets so much better. The ups, the downs, the emotions, the steady progress of putting another day of distance between who you were in your addiction and who you’re becoming now. One day at a time.


archery-noob

Median age of firsr marriage in the US is 28 (f) and 29(m) so just from that you're not too late to meet someone. There's probably a higher chance they'll be on their second marriage, but that's so common now days that I don't think it really matters. 11 months clean and starting a good career path tells me you're well on your way to turning around and cleaning up. Stick with it and keep moving forward.


stockbot21

You got this. Get the education, lose the sister. She will never forgive you because she needs you to be her personal scapegoat. If everything is your fault, nothing can be hers. Go find a church where they don't care about who you were, but about who you are. You need friends, not family.


kishkash51

Sounds like your sister doesn’t want you to succeed for some reason. Never listen to people like that-EVER! It stems from jealousy. You’re on the right track. You can do this!


rimshot101

Just curious, does your sister have any addictions of her own? Seriously, active users do not like to see other users turn their lives around. But to answer your question, your life is already turning around. 11 months is a big deal. And it sounds like you've got a plan. You've got more time ahead of you than most people who get sober.


[deleted]

What? Turn your life around! It's never too late


EternallyBlissful

you have so so sooo much time left for you to change your life around, go to school, and meet a lovely lady to build a life with. YOU get to decide what the right time is and if this is that time then you do whatever your heart desires. i’m proud of you, we’re proud of you, here’s to so many more years!!!


xdnmr

You are never too old to do things right!


FIVE-SIX56

My good friend kicked meth at 39. He is now 4 years clean and just got engaged to a really great woman. You got plenty of time to live a good life.


[deleted]

There men beginning what you are beginning at age 50. You are alright.


CupidArrowArt

Your sister is just plain wrong. It’s only too late when you’re dead. You’re barely a year older than I am, and I’m still getting my life together. There is no race, there is no deadline for self-improvement. Eleven months is fantastic progress, and pursuing an education for a career is as well. It might take a little time, but you’ve already made great steps. I believe in you, dude, and I wish you all the luck. Also, I need to reiterate, your sister can stuff it.


JustCallMeSassy

Youre only 30. You have so much time!


ApprehensiveLemon448

Nope, she's right


randompersonfifteen

Correct.


Possible_corn

You pissed me off so much, I had to come back to say fuck you again. You will be someones reason for turning to drugs, if you treat your own children with as much tact as you've invested into making someone looking for hope feel like shit for no reason . My guy OP, take no advice from this piece of shit. My sister had the same problem and is doing great. You have to work on yourself and make sure you keep away from those vices and friends that contribute, but totally possible. I'm proud of you for making it this far!


IthinkIknowwhothatis

What is wrong with you?


drblah1

I went back to college at 30 after spending my 20s getting wasted and high. I'm almost 40 now with a good job, nice house, wife and kids. It's never too late, but the best time to turn things around is right now.


Notonmybingocard2022

One day you'll look back and say "wow, 30 is *soooo* young!" One thing I did (and still do) is imagine what I want my life to look like, complete with everything, and then work backwards. For example I imagine a great house, then I imagine future me explaining all the steps I took to get there. You accomplished one of *the hardest things a human can do* and there is a whole wonderful life out there for you.


yoswift1

Tell your sister to quit being a hater and be more supportive. Why even say something negative to your sibling like that?!


[deleted]

There are only two rules in life. You’ll be born and you’ll die. Everything in between is unwritten. Good luck!


Sub_pup

I did at 27. On meth (among other things) for several years. I got clean, went to college, got married, have 2 kids, bought a house and haven't thought about doing hard drugs in 15 years. Right now it all seems like another lifetime and another person. It's never too late. 30 ain't shit, you got plenty of time.


LongHardOutlaw57

How long did it take to feel normal? Was there a big difference? What did it feel like when your dopamine finally came back online?


Sub_pup

I stopped dreaming about smoking dope about 3 years into it. I would wake up in cold sweats feeling like I blew years of sobriety. The dopamine coming back will not feel like you think. Over time you will start to get more and more enjoyment out of normal fun things. I never let it get me too down and pushed myself to be outgoing and social despite my lack of enthusiasm. One day I didn't need to push anymore and I wanted to go out. Honestly I originally smoked a lot of weed to keep me complacent in my down time. Not so much now days but it helped back then. I abused the shit out of energy drinks and coffee to keep me motivated In the early days as well. I hope this doesn't come off too negatively but, what you likely have convinced yourself is normal is not. Normal is much more mundane than you likely remember. The last time you were "normal' was about 23 or 24 if my math is good. Normal for 30 and normal for 24 are very different things. Don't expect to feel 24 again, that is not likely. I can say one thing definitively, it was worth it and I would never go back. If I can answer any more questions don't hesitate to ask. It's a struggle I will never forget.


jjpenguins66

Just because she has given up doesn't mean you should. Live for yourself and do your best. Sounds like your doing better so far. Stay away from people who tell you that you will fail. They are no help at all.


WinAshamed9850

Your sister sucks. Don’t listen to that shit. You’re in charge of your own life. You’re beating meth addiction right now, I’m pretty sure you can do most anything at this point.


Sufficient-Basket-29

Your sister just kinda sounds like an asshole. You can do it man


barbados14

You're only 30, u can absolutely turn this around. Focus on the positives, you've been at rock bottom and saw the worst, now it's time to show what you've learned! Be patient, be consistent and most of all, be the best possible partner to the right person who will take you to the person u want to be for the rest of your life.i wish u the best of love and luck xx


Feisty_Beach392

Bona fide loser here till easily 32. 46 now and my life is completely different. You can legit do pretty much anything you want with some tenacity, determination, and a clear head. Congratulations on your new life!


jaysun13

You is young. Most actors don’t even get their big break until late 30’s. Look at how many movie stars you are like wow I like them and they look young. Then 5 years later look up their age and they are already 44.


Large_Locksmith3673

You are still young. I (56f) was in active addiction my entire adult life. I was able to turn my life around at 54. I'm working full time, living indoors with utilities and making payments on a new car. You can do it. The key is you have to want it. Best of luck.


sajtu

Yes


Hielo13

My little sister did this same shit to me. Really messed with my head. Being stubborn and proving her wrong were great motivators for me.


Professional_Bonus44

It is never too late, congratulations on turning it around. Good luck in life.


ZachCremisi95

Your starting a career that is strong, so you already turn it around


octoshark_

You can do w.e it is you want. If you want to improve yourself its never too late. I'm proud of you for being clean that long!! I struggle with alcohol some, and its harder then I thought it would be. Make the life you want for you.


Iamhungryhearmeroar

Da fuq? 30 is a spring chicken dude. Dobyoubhave any criminal convictions? If yea, work on getting those expunged and it'll help alot. If not, 30 isn't old whatsoever and you have your whole life ahead of you.


Inner-Nothing7779

Dude, your sister sucks. If you're going to put in the work to make a good life for yourself and your future family, do it. You're 30. You'll live until you're 80. Do you want to just say fuck it for the next 50 years and waste away? Fuck no. You get up and you prove your asshole sister wrong.


ThePandazz

I'm only 21 but I will say this from my view, you're still young, your 20's are for fucking things up and hoping for the best. Especially now that you're sober, life is just getting started.


Hawks213

You're fucking right you can still turn things around. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, just take things one day at a time. Congrats on your sobriety, I'm fucking proud of you my man! Keep up the good work.


Bergenia1

Maybe focus less on bagging a beautiful woman, and focus more on becoming a trustworthy, dependable, honest man who is fit to be a husband and perhaps a father. Think more about what you have to offer, and less about what you can get. You're doing great so far, 11 months is nothing to sneeze at. Keep it up, and keep working on your mental health and your career and your character growth. Maybe work on accepting other people who have flaws, and be open to dating someone of good character who doesn't look like a supermodel. If you can see ordinary women as attractive, it will prove your odds of finding a mate.


BlerdyGurl

Congrats on your sobriety! I wish you continued success in life


Beginning-Bed9364

I knew a guy in high-school who went to college to be a dental hygienist. Know why? 95%+ female classmates. As long as you stay clean, I like your chances


0utandab0ut1

If you're gonna listen to other people's opinions on you then you're never gonna make it.


nunyabidnesz

I met my wife at 40(me) and she's the first woman I think I have really loved and I know she loves me. Stay clean man and you'll do fine.


Progress-Competitive

30 is young!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have SO much time


possum_2

absolutely. you can have any life you want. if you believe in your own self.


Dismal4132

I was an alcoholic for 20 years, lost a marriage, tons of jobs, lots of money, went to jail a few times. Got sober, two years later met my now-wife, a few years after that had a kid who is now the best thing in my life and has never seen me drunk. I wouldn't change my life for anything. Your sister's wrong. Keep your shit together and you'll enjoy life WAY more than anybody who's never seen the dark side- including, it sounds like, her.


KyeMorgan2022

Holy crap dude, don't listen to your sister! It is *never* too late! My God, you did something a lot of people can't and that's to get clean. Meth is one of *the* most addictive drugs there is. You're a miracle and don't you let *anyone* tell you any different!


crnelson10

I got into the best shape of my life at 30, got engaged at 32, went to law school at the same time, and started a whole new career at 35. Never too late.


Falconflyer75

People love a redemption story


princesspeach1823

30 is still young! It's never too late to try to better yourself. You're barely 1/3 of the way done with life, you've got 2 whole thirds to make fucking awesome. Congratulations on being 11 months clean, that's a fantastic start. I know plenty of people who didn't struggle with addiction who are 30+ and unmarried or don't know what path they are taking yet. There's definitely time.


soloapeproject

I started a new and exciting career at 30 after a divorce, and now on my 3rd exciting career change in my 40s and have had 10 amazing years with my 2nd wife and two young kids.. 20-30 feels like 2 lifetimes a go..Pal, you have so much time ahead of you. Go get 'em!


Temporary-Valuable11

Congratulations with being clean!! 30 is still young, not even half way life. Besides that, it's never too late to start chasing happiness or something you want to achieve


AcceptableRecord8

YES! You already have - just keep going and be proud !


LowkeyLoki1123

You can absolutely turn it around!