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Late_Inside4337

I'm 34 would not date a 18 year old


Late_Inside4337

Way I see it is 18 is still a kid what would a 18 have in common with a adult


OkAcanthisitta4605

As a 30 year old, anyone younger than 25 is a kid. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Like, if she's still on her parents' insurance plan she's too young for you bro....


Cosmic_Kitten92

This, under 25 you have alot of maturing to do and wisdom to gain in every area.


[deleted]

even after 25, assuming a person went the 'normal' route (ie college). ...people dont really hit maturity till about 26-28 years old. By 28, most have had to eat humble pie once or twice...and that changes a person...or at least it should.


Cosmic_Kitten92

I have to agree, I'm 30 and only recently felt like an adult...even after having a kiddo at 23. I know I'll still eat slices of humble pie, gain knowledge and mature until I croak. I remember feeling more equipped and matured at 25 after having lived on my own a while and having my own family. When I'm 40 I'll probably feel like 30yr olds still have alot of maturing and wisdom to gain lol.


Strange-Bee5626

Seriously. I'm also 30, and even a lot of people in their mid-twenties seem young to me these days. Someone over 30 with an 18 year old... I guess it's not illegal, but it's pretty creepy.


SpectacularSophistry

Am in my early 30s. I usually date mid to late 20s but my last gf was 22 (she’d just finished school). Her and I were good by ourselves. She could hang out with my friends no problem. I liked her roommates. Initially seemed like it would work. But yeah, her wider friend circle was an issue for me. Of course they were friends with people a couple years younger. So then I was into ‘30 year old man hanging with teenagers’ territory if I went to any of their parties. I wasn’t being that dude


[deleted]

Exactly. An 18 year old is physically mature but that’s about it. Especially in America at 18 most are 100% dependent on their parents and usually emotionally immature. Social media is just making it worse.


asoberbackpacker

This is a great point. Maybe in the USA. But, I've met 18 year olds in other countries that have already been working on a farm, raising their little siblings, etc., for many years.


[deleted]

Yes of course you cannot paint the entire world with one brush. And I try not to judge other people relationships in general as it truly is none of my business. It’s just how I feel about partners for myself from my own life experiences.


yomamasanagger

Yeah but thems farm raised eighteen year olds, they sturdier


extrabees

I’m 27 and wouldn’t date an 18 year old Way too big of a gap


mskip28

Came here to say this!! I’m also 27 and agree. I honestly probably wouldn’t even date anyone younger than like 23.


a1180738

When I was 21, I had ZERO desire to date an 18 year old. Fuck that


[deleted]

I’m 25 and wouldn’t date an 18 year old


Main_Thing_411

24 here. I avoid 18 year Olds like the plague.


Death_Has_Humor

I'm 18 and wouldn't date an 18 year old.


pdscubs

Would you date a 34 yr old? Lol


Death_Has_Humor

For how much money?


pdscubs

$1200 weekly allowance. But no i asked to jokingly bring it full circle to OP’s question lol.


Death_Has_Humor

Ah well no, first of all, then. Lol


Spazzy_maker

Sweet I get a gf and 1200 a week! Nice!!! (I'm in my mid 20's btw)


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merigirl

The ones who are still alive at least tried to.


Sapphire_Wolf_

Im 21 and i wouldnt date an 18 yr old!


jaeseantateisgoat

Was just about to say this lol, I’m absolutely disturbed by the amount of 22-25 year old dudes with 17-18 year old girlfriends at my university.


SoftSatellite34

When I was 18 I dated a 36 year old guy. It was a mistake.


Nexrosus

When I was 18 I saw someone who was 27 and THAT was a mistake


aahorsenamedfriday

I’m three and wouldn’t date an 18 yr old!


Relevant_Slide_7234

It seems nobody will date an 18 year old. This explains why I never got laid freshman year.


ElvenCouncil

Noone said anything about fucking one.


TheMAN-HIMSELF564

I’m -2 and I wouldn’t date an 18 year old


erikhaskell

Same here


EnlightenedNargle

I’m 26 and you couldn’t pay me to date an 18 year old, we’re at completely different life stages, we would have nothing in common. They’re just starting university, I’ve graduated twice already and now I worry about council tax and love to be in bed by 10pm lol


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jefesignups

Do you feel the same for 22 and 39?


Derpaderpplerp

In my case, there was great sex and i also had my shit together by a long lead. As the 19 i was an all options on the table guy. As a 30s girl who looked to me for stability, that should have been a red flag for me.


Mufusm

You live on the wild side going to bed at 10PM. Give it a few years and it’ll be 915 pm like me!


docmn612

I’m almost 36, I check my watch at 9 like “welp almost time for bed”


Jussbussinmane

I’m 37 and some days I’ve been known to cash out around 8


triggerhappymidget

I'm 35 and get up at 4:30. Most nights I last until 8:30/9:00, but about once a month, my body's just like, "Yeah, we're done," and I crash at 7:00.


FiddleAndDiddle

I’m 27 and asleep by 9pm


rickyv419

I’m 46, it’s 7:45 PM and I’m surprised I have the energy to finish this post.


Impressive_Ring3931

I was 18M when I lost my virginity to a 26F. Kinda fucked up in hindsight.


TheWalkingDead91

I wouldn’t even date a 25 year old at that age tbh. I’m 30 and can’t see myself dating anyone younger than 22 …and even a 22-24 year old would be pushing it for me and would have to be someone mature/responsible/self aware beyond their years. There’s just so much typically gained maturity and experience wise within those years between 18-25 that can’t be ignored. I see anyone under 20 as a kid still. I know that will trigger some recently independent/student adults, but you’ll understand in 10 years.


sleepyj910

I’m 41 and anyone under 24 is a child to me. Would be creepy to date them as they start their life.


ThadTheImpalzord

Why would a 34yo want to date an 18yo is the better question


McnuggetxSniper

Because they’re “good looking” compared to women their own age. Also, younger women are more malleable. Perfect for a control freak who can’t date women their own age


LarkScarlett

Yep—he’s dating someone with too little experience to recognise and call him on his bullshit; setting up a teacher-student dynamic in the relationship (since he knows soooo muuuuuuch) that the 18 year old is one day going to outgrow … this whole situation is very likely to bring OP a lot of heartbreak. Relationships work best when you’re starting at the same life-stage. OP has been a new adult for about 1 year, and their life stage is exploring that. Love Interest is no longer a new adult; they have been an adult since OP was in diapers. Love Interest should know how to be an adult by now.


SuperSoftAbby

It is never a good reason whatever it is and if it sounds like a good reason, it’s a lie


AltruisticSwimmer44

Bingo. No you're not "so mature." That's the oldest trick in the book. No it's not that "older women don't understand" him; yes they do. "Older women" just see through the bullshit. Every single excuse is a lie.


cabanna94

I was 19 when I was talking to someone who was 29. I didn’t think anything was wrong but there was lol. He was secretly engaged and I don’t know how I didn’t realize he was trying to hide another relationship sooner. He would say “don’t post that on Facebook” etc. and his name on there was not easy to find since he misspelled it. When you are that young, you tend to be naive/vulnerable. I can’t help but think that’s always the reason why someone much older would try to date someone that young. I thought I knew it all but truth is you don’t recognize red flags and patterns until your older. Plus he said some things that threw me off. Along the lines of getting to sleep with someone barely legal. Ugh pls be careful and just stick to your age group until you are old enough.


Old-Painting27

When I was 17 I had a crush on a 33 year old, and the crush went away so quickly when I realized that if he liked me back he would most likely be an absolute creep.


Neiot

When I was 14-15, I had a crush on a 60 year-old. I was fucking weird.


ohhellnooooooooo

This is actually normal if you consider that: *children are dumb* That’s coincidentally also the reason why it’s wrong to fuck them


marvinsmom78

Like a real life Harold and Maude. It happens I suppose!


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ezone2kil

I'd be more than happy to age like Sean Connery did. I'm a straight dude but he got even more attractive as he aged.


JiuJitsu_Ronin

People need to ask themselves more. Why would you want to date someone that actively wants to date someone half their age or even worse underage. Ask yourself that and if you actually take the time to reflect on it, you’ll move on quickly like you did.


Seiyafour

>Ask yourself that and if you actually take the time to reflect on it, you’ll move on quickly like you did. Seriously. I'm 25 and hesitant to date someone who's 21. Many of them are still doing their education for the next 2 years whilst I'm paying a mortgage. They're going to parties while I go to a local pub with friends or play board games. You're just at completely different parts of your life that it makes me wonder how fucked in the head you need to be to want to date an 18 year old at 34.


magnoliamaggie9

I had a similar situation when I was 17-18. I had several online “relationships” with men I met playing a massively popular online game at the time. At the time I felt flattered to be noticed and felt really special to get their attention.. looking back now, I realize how absolutely horrible it all was. Even though it was all consensual, I couldn’t see the ick factor as the younger person.


hpalatini

Absolutely. I’m about to turn 34. Today any relationship I would have with an 18 year old would be more of a parental or mentor dynamic. The 34 year old has been out of high school basically since you were born. Think about that.


zakkattack85

Shit I'm 36 and have a 15 year old daughter. I just started back up at college in 2020. I have only had big brother or fatherly friendships with girls at school over the last few years. I've found a professor or two to be cute. But not class mates they would be closer to my daughters age then my own. Most were born when I was in high school.


Pawkies

I’m 37 with a 19 yr old son, not one time I found any of them sexually attractive. They are babies to me and even apart from the physical, what are we going to talk about? I can still remember somewhat how I thought at 18/19 and now in my 30s I cringe thinking about it.


ironbattery

Yeah, I remember dating an 18 year old when I was 20 and even that small gap felt big. I’m over here worrying about finals week while she’s planning a pep rally and talking about her senior prank, felt gross. Can’t imagine how bad 18-36 would be. You’re at totally opposite sides of life, they have a mortgage, a car payment, and a 9-5 to worry about all while you’re preparing to live in a dorm with 3 random people and making Tik toks. It just doesn’t work.


RustlessPotato

Well I think it's a good thing you haven't found your 19 yo son sexually attractive at any time.


dmrukifellth

She’d have been a literal toddler (2 years old) when he was 18. But regardless of number, many comments here are spot on. Maturity and life stage matter so much.


Kile147

It's very feasible for someone that age to have a child her age.


freedom_oh

34 here. My son turns 17 in 3 weeks. I can't even imagine being romantically interested in any of his friends.


Tom1252

They were twice the kid's age two years ago.


ti_ti1

the difference in maturity is whats worrying


throwawayacct45608xy

It's more worrying if there isn't a difference in maturity.


NotaBenet

Exactly. In two years she will be wondering what she saw in this immature person. Hopefully she will be able to safely leave him.


mooseman2234

Hopefully the 18yr old dude feels safe enough to leave too


itsastart_to

Honestly someone so much older should not be looking to date someone who just came out of HS


maybe_little_pinch

Yup. I was 19 and went on a couple dates with a guy who lied about his age. He said he was 28. Turns out he was 34 or 36. He wasn't good at the truth thing. Anyway, I was dumb and said it didn't matter. Oh. It mattered. I was WAY more mature than he was.


fucktysonfoods

Yes


LicensedRealtor

If you’re asking then you know the answer. Yes.


EaglePill

Lol that would mean this entire sub is useless then


IAmGodMode

Well mean..3/4 of the posts in most of these subs are useless and common sense questions. "My husband has cheated on me several times in the past and I just caught him again. He says it's over between him and her but he's said that before. Should I give him another chance?"


EaglePill

Yeah the thing is when people are unsure or anxious about something emotionally stressful then they're often going to look to others to provide a nuanced answer to a problem they can't or won't properly convey in words. Of course it doesn't help at all that OP included virtually no supporting details so obviously most people are going to answer yes almost reflexively.


Only-Ad1638

I concur, the rule is half your age +7


llNormalGuyll

I remember thinking that rule makes sense at one time, but I think of dating a 22 year old now…not a good idea. My wife was 22 when we started dating (I’m 6 months older), and if I dated that version of her now…ugh we’ve both matured a lot. Also, I could exert a lot of psychological manipulation on someone of that maturity. So I reject the validity of that rule.


Mike2220

It makes a lot of sense for people in the Jr high/high school/college level and then quickly breaks down after that (even the upper end of college is iffy) So if you're 16, the lowest you should date is 15. 18 should cut it off at 16. etc At 22 cuts at 18 (which is iffy but you'd both be in college at least)


llNormalGuyll

Agreed. 22 and 18…definitely starting to break down there.


ghostuser689

Yep.


Express_Ad2962

I (male) was 17 and married someone 36 yo. Seems all great in the beginning but there will be a lot of issues down the road. My marriage didn't last. Just think really hard about this before you go down this road. Now I am around that age she was, I can't even think of dating someone that's 17 yo.


mehTILduhhhh

Usually I roll my eyes at age gap posts but this is a bit much for an age gap.


DeninjaBeariver

It’s a huge maturity gap. I would say this is morally wrong for the 35 yo


Weekly_Bug_4847

THIS is what everyone is missing. Even early 20’s is a bit of a stretch. If you were to say 28 and 45, same age gap, but that maturity gap is way way less.


mountingconfusion

This is an age canyon


nniiiiiick

You’re not celebrating any type of anniversary right?


Reinhardt56k

Damn thought she was dating Dane Cook for a minute.


Surprise_Molotov

Lol best reply


[deleted]

no


Princeofbaleen

When you're little older you'll see the guy as a dirty old man, guarantee.


emptysignals

26 is pushing it


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Luncheon_Lord

Is this a joke I'm not getting? Sorry sometimes I'm dense


nniiiiiick

Any type of anniversary would result in him having been with that person since they were a minor (at least in the US)


Mtnrunnr

If you have to reach out to Reddit to justify your dating choice, you should probably reconsider.


Nexrosus

If you even have to question if they’re too old for you, chances are you probably think so deep down inside regardless of what answer you get from others lol


kbot1337

I wouldn’t even take dating advice from Reddit. Half of these morons haven’t left a basement at their parents house in years.


DianneQuinn

Yes. And you know it or you wouldn"t be asking.


Internal_Power8642

Very good point. OP inherently feels something off, and is ignoring it. Do not ignore it. Your intuition that something is off about this is 100% right. Grown men who date teenagers are predators 100% of the time.


Haterade_ONON

It's not necessarily the number of years, but rather the difference in brain development. 18 is too young to be in an age gap relationship.


IndependenceNorth165

Yeah a 16 year age gap could be ok if it was like a 34 year old and a 50 year old. At that point the age gap doesn’t really matter.


Gizzycav

As a 33-year-old, I have an age gap rule I call “The Daddy Lion King Rule” or “The Mufasa Rule” If I’m dating older, they have to be closer to my age than my dad’s age. My dad is exactly 30 years older than me, so they must be no more than 14 years older than me. If I’m dating younger, they had to have been alive when the original Lion King was released in theaters, so they must be at least 28 years old. This line stays consistent as I get older, which is nice. Hence, why I call it “The Daddy Lion King Rule”


purplechunkymonkey

People that age go for kids your age for one of 2 reasons. 1. They are controlling and will slowly lead you from friends and family. Then the abuse starts. 2. Other adults their age won't put up with their shit.


ILookLikeKristoff

You forgot #3. 3. An 18 year old is the closest legal option to what they really want.


macarena_twerking

This is a much better way of putting what I was thinking. Stealing it for next time!


nenufilla

Like only 4 years ago you were 14.....what age were they? Would that be an acceptable age gap then? No. Don't think it's acceptable now. I think this comment above me says it all.


Studly__Spud

I can’t stress how true this is. *please* From one young woman to another, please get away from him. He may be sweet and absolutely perfect now, but it will. Not. Last. I have been in your situation and I still live with PTSD from the way he treated me. I still have frequent and visceral nightmares, and it’s been 5 years. He was perfect at first, everything I could’ve imagined and more. He was mature and handsome, good with money and kids, responsible and loving. But as I opened up to him it started to unravel, and he became violent and controlling. Never in a million years did I ever think I would let myself get into an abusive relationship, but it was a slow boil until I couldn’t get out. I’m sure there are people in the comments who are being unkind about this, but I’m genuinely worried. Please protect yourself. ❤️


purplechunkymonkey

I had to watch my sister go through this. He couldn't take her from the family because she's super family oriented so he had to play the part. He even started seeing his daughter regularly. Their first fight was that she didn't clean the window sills correctly. I immediately told her that he was controlling and to get out now. She didn't listen. She only left when his violence turned to her kids.


50micron

Maybe don’t be so quick to judge. What you say may often— perhaps even generally— be true. But it is not *always* the case. At the risk (certainty?) of inviting unfair criticism I’ve gotta tell you that in some cases these relationships can be healthy and successful. My wife and I began our relationship just like this and we’ve been together for 20 years now. Truth be told the age gap carries some burdens and our relationship’s success has come as a result of a lot of therapeutic work. By that I mean professional licensed couples therapy which has been sustained for a substantial period of time. I can tell you that it’s been worth it and I’ve no doubt we’ll be together for life. How much this applies to other couples is unclear however as our particular situation has many unusual elements making our story far from typical. But please consider that drawing such a generalized judgment can sometimes lead to unfair conclusions and even prejudicial behavior from outsiders. It’s not so simple, and every couple has its own dynamic.


mirv22

Yes this ☝️


ScratchMoore

Yes. I’m not even speaking on a legal/moral angle either. There’s an entire generation gap that is impossible to ignore. I’m 45, and I wouldn’t be able to date someone who is 29. There’s just very little common ground and shared experiences to make that a fulfilling relationship.


lkoenigs33

Without a doubt. The 34 year old is either stunted in some way (emotionally, intellectually) or intentionally preying upon the younger person.


Ok-Economist-8102

I suppose there’s another possibility too? When I was 20-21, I met this lady in her late 30’s who was all interested in me. I quickly figured out she had this weird need to be like a “mom” to me. She even offered to pay for my college tuition if I moved in with her. I broke that off real fast. But yeah, I think she really did want a younger guy around to “take care of” in exchange for the sex and companionship.


indepndnt

Well, yes... that would be emotionally stunted.


Phokasi

Pretty much. In that circumstance where the 34 year old actually better relates to people who are 18-20 years old, then I don't want to judge them. They're just a stunted person trying to find love. But are we going to recommend that to the 18 year old? It sounds bad, but would it be better to date 18 year old dipshit guys instead? I'm not sure. I just feel bad for young women all around.


Certain-Bonus8643

My opinion is yes. Although an 18 year old is considered an adult, I look back to when I was 18 and I definitely don't feel as if I was truly an adult yet. To think of the immense differences in the stages of their lives they are in is a bit intense.


dadis2cool

I turned 19 two days ago. I’m still not an adult by any degree. I’m not even comfortable dating anyone 3 years older than me


Certain-Bonus8643

That’s understandable, you should do whatever feels right to you, and you have a while to figure that out.


dadis2cool

Yeah but the point here is that a 16 year gap is far outside of normal, and stretches well into creepy territory.


theoutdoorkat1011

Legally an adult, developmentally not really close to being an adult.


Certain-Bonus8643

Yes, exactly


theoutdoorkat1011

Always baffles me that we *know* that development isn’t finished by 18 and yet these children are given such adult responsibilities with the possibility of severe consequences.


Certain-Bonus8643

I agree, and it seems to be progressing with each generation. I remember when I was younger I didn’t even have my first cell phone until 13, and I thought that was young at the time. Nowadays, that would be considered behind the times to many.


Most_Eye5617

I’d say this is a definitive yes. This seems a little predatory


Fluffy_Banks

OPs post history says they're battling depression. It's 110% predatory.


porkforpigs

Predatory to the freakin nth degree man


IthinkIknowwhothatis

Some people will say “it depends.” It does not “depend.” 18 is just barely an adult, and cannot be compared to someone 21 dating someone in their mid-30s. It says something definitely not good about the older the person that they would even consider it.


[deleted]

I don't think 21 year olds are as mature as they think. They're basically 18 year olds who can drink.


mangocakefork

Exactly. Unless the younger person is 25 or older you might as well be dating a teenager :/


BiteEatRepeat_

25 give or take depending on the person


Rent_A_Cloud

Jokes on you, i could drink when i was 16.


WelcomeToBrooklandia

Yep. Honestly, it's not even that the gap itself is such an issue. If you were 30 and your prospective SO was 46, I wouldn't say a word. But an 18 year old and a 34 year old are in VASTLY different stages of their adulthoods. I don't blame you as the 18 year old for being interested in someone much older- that's not unusual. But if the 34 year old chose to go ahead and date you, then I would 100000% judge that person. If you're in your mid-thirties and think that it's acceptable to date someone who's fresh out of grade school, then that would tell me something deeply troubling about you.


MeshaLovesIt

Facts


Izucutiecos

Not to mention the 34yo is 2 years shy of double op's age. Literally already old enough to be their parent, I would definitely judge too.


AtheneSchmidt

Yes. Every year until you are 25 you are going to look back and realize how much you have grown and learned in the last year. You are going to discover who you are. Someone looking for a person so much younger than them, especially someone who has not gone through the most significant years of self-discovery a person has, is looking for someone that they can mold into who they want. They are not looking for a partner. You want a partner.


Alewort

Wait, it was supposed to stop at 25? Here I am pushing 50 and last year's me was an idiot.


Studly__Spud

“Someone looking for a person so much younger than them, especially someone who has not gone through the most significant years of self-discovery a person has, is looking for someone that they can mold into who they want.” ^^^ this. You’re going to have so much fun learning who you are in the next several years, it’s truly a crazy experience. Don’t let some old croak take away those years from you. Edit: I don’t know how to make it show that I quoted the previous comment, so I put quotations


Drip_Sliq93

An 18 yr old is barely an adult. What are you doing?


Cualkiera67

So it's barely ok?


thefivetenets

if you have to ask you know the answer.


BaggieHerc05

As a 23yo woman that dated a 35yo when I was 19, yes. Break up with them if you’re in this relationship. It’s not appropriate/okay on any level.


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HumbleMason

When I was 34 I would’ve had nothing in common with an 18 year old. So yeah


dcforgie

I'm just gonna be blatantly honest with you. Even if there's great chemistry between you two. It's not a relationship that would ever be accepted by society at large. That include both families. Secondly, dating someone that is 2 years shy of being twice your age is a recepe for disaster. You have to look at motivations too, are they dating you because they truly care about you, or is it your physical body that motivates them. In any case. I just don't see it ending very well.


Rugkrabber

Important to add is it won’t be accepted by society *for a reason*. When I was 18 I could sort of understand but I didn’t understand as I do *now* at 32 years old. When I was 18 I would have said ‘depends’ but now? Now I say ‘no’. What is also important is that OP understands that no, your feeling of ‘they are unique’ or ‘they are different’ or ‘but I never had this before and it will never happen again’ will definitely happen again and is not unique at all. You are 18. You just started. It will happen over and over again. Imagine if all those people who lost a loved one or got cheated on won’t fall in love again. Yet they do. I’d let this one go and look around your own age, build up relationship experiences with people who are just as inexperienced as you are, and grow into your own person.


spicytaqueria

Grooming


fylgja_hamr

If you have to ask, yes.


LoadOk5992

Seems predatory.


Mission_Equal_7256

Yup. After 30 larger gaps dont matter as much. But under 30 and esp teens it matters alot ! The brain doesnt even fully mature till age 25


ThisIsGoobly

Apparently 25 is the bare minimum too. Can take a few years longer for a lot of people.


apathyaddict

The novelty will wear off on either side sooner or later, likely.


soccougar

I’m 22 and I think 18 is too young


Junior-Question-2638

Divide by 2, add 7 Eta, for 34, that would mean youngest that is ok is 24


Additional-Goat-3947

This is the way


NotYourFriend00

Yes. In these situations it’s very easy for the the older person to manipulate the young person who is still figuring themselves out. Also it’s creepy that someone almost twice your age is willing to date someone this young.


HouseDog2020

58 and 84 I would say?


phunkydroid

You've added an extra 10 years in there.


milkynipples69

18 is pretty young for being with a 34 year old in a romantic relationship. I’d say after 23-25 age gaps don’t matter much but there is a lot of maturing that goes on in early adulthood.


Certain-Bonus8643

True, I don’t think it’s the age gap that matters so much as the stages in life each are in. 18 and 34 look much different than say 40 and 55.


PsychoDelicJoey

I'm almost 21 and I wouldn't date an 18 year old.


Creepymint

YES your partner is a predator


bakerybitches

I’m 22 and wouldn’t even date anybody younger then 20, it’s just too weird.


SnakeInABox7

Yes it absolutely is, and the 34 year old knows it too.


LarzMcevoy

I’m 22 and generally think 18 is too low


Either_Pollution_840

This dude is a predator. Look at his profile......


vth2

Yes. Im 24 and wouldnt date an 18yo. I would never want to be associated with someone who is beyond 30 dating an 18yo.


worshipperofdogs

Let’s see…I feel like I’m pretty normal and successful. At 18 I was a freshman in college, trying to secure a fake ID, drink my way through parties, hook up, and pass all my classes while wearing pajamas. At 34 I had a PhD and full-time career (professor), a spouse and two little kids, owned a house, and was looking to travel more. I had zero interest in looking at or talking to someone who was 18 unless they were asking or answering a question in one of my classes. So yeah, this guy is a loser and a creep.


ayvikenedy

Hell yes


Chronically_Jacob

The only answer is yes.


liamluca21491

I’m 30, and would not date anyone under 21


cloverthewonderkitty

Yes. Predatory behavior from the 34 yr old, why are they going after a teenager?


Fluffy_Banks

Because OP is depressed. It makes her an easier mark.


gunnbee02

When the 34 year old turned 18 you wernt even born yet.


pcrady

I’m on your side, but the math… it doesn’t check out. The younger would have been 2.


ButtonImpressive1286

Yes because the 18 year old was just a minor literally last year or maybe even just turned 18 very recently. And depending on birthday possibly still in high school. Definitely be getting judgmental stares from people.


EditorNo2545

Almost always yes, it will be more about the maturity than actual age though. There are usually a lot of changes in a person between 18 & 34 but the diff at 40 & 56 would likely not be an issue. Plus if it's the 34 yr old is at the same level as the 18 yr old? yikes that just screams red flag FYI for everyone saying 18 yr old is a kid, that depends on upbringing/circumstances. At 18 I was a husband, a father, a full-time university student and almost full-time employed (30ish hours a wk) not a kid but I was definitely not in the same head space I would be in when I got to 34 yrs old either.


Reasonable-Release-2

When I was 36, I dated a 52 year old. Seemed okay at that age. But at 18, no.


NoHedgehog252

That’s not so bad because a 36 year old is very much an established adult. At 18 you are the lowest possible age you can be before the guy goes to prison and never gets to hold most jobs ever again.


Thurmod

Your frontal cortex isn’t developed yet. You have like 7 more years of maturity.


skysong5921

1000000% too big. I'm 30; I would not date a 22-yo, never mind an 18-yo. Go to r/AITA (am I the a\*\*hole) and read literally any story about a relationship with a 10+ year age gap. It's gotten to the point where commenters correctly GUESS that the age gap is 10+ years if the older partner is being particularly manipulative; the correlation is THAT common


Kamala_Metamorph

Hey. I think you're really smart for being aware and asking this. I want you to see this post, and all the comments from people who used to be in your exact situaution, and how it turned out. I'll post the OP from /u/shinyjewels, but the comments are also what you're asking. **Idk which teenage girl needs to hear this, but you are not mature for your age, he's just a predator** (self.TwoXChromosomes) https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/oobsqz/idk_which_teenage_girl_needs_to_hear_this_but_you/ > I've been seeing so many posts recently on this sub about how many women came to the realization that they had been groomed in their teens by much older men. > Listen. If you are 16, there is basically zero reason for an adult man to approach you for a relationship. Zero. You will change astronomically in your teens and twenties - these are formative years in your life. The person you are today will be so significantly different from the person you will be this time next year. There is literally nothing you have in common with a grown ass man, unless that grown ass man is also mentally 16 years old (which, huge yikes). You are not mature for your age. Older women are not just "jealous" of you (I don't even know why that narrative is spun). There's a reason why these men can't find age appropriate women, and it's because they truly suck so much that they seek out naive and docile young women with no life experience who won't judge them for how tremendously they suck. > Take advice from the lived experiences of thousands and thousands of women who have come before you and don't want you to repeat their mistakes: sis he's not in love with you, he's in love with the idea of you. > ETA: Did not expect this to blow up the way it did. For the men getting butthurt telling me that the same can be said of older women and young boys - duh? But I posted this in TwoX? Lmao? According to RAINN, 82% of child sexual abuse victims are girls, and 88% of perpetrators of child sexual abuse are men. Hence, I am speaking to girls in this post. It's not misandry my guy, it's just statistics... Here's another one where you can read the comments: https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/w7672p/to_whichever_teenage_girl_needs_to_see_this/ You are a being of infinite worth. You deserve to grow and mature and love at your pace. Not someone else's.


BoredGuitarist_

Absolutely. You gain a lot of knowledge about life in those sixteen years to thirty-four. I personally (24) wouldn't date someone with any more than a five-year age gap because past that you're basically in different stages of life and trying to figure out different problems, both financially and emotionally.


Alarmed-Accident-716

If someone wants to date an 18 year old that is over 21 they are just trying bang, they don’t want to date you and if they do want to date you it means they cant find a date in their age range and are probably a creep/ something wrong with them. Also person probably has no friends, because no 34 year olds friend supports that behavior.


dMCH1xrADPorzhGA7MH1

Inappropriate. Youngest someone who is 34 should date is 24.


Pickle786

your maximum age to date should be like 22


BlueForte

I’m 25 and wouldn’t date an 18 year old.


Painswatch

WAY too much. If it was something like 32 and 48 it’d be different but you should be what, potentially just recently out of high school?


axon-axoff

Fuck yes it is. I was that 18 year old. And the 22 year old with the 33 year old. And the 27 year old with the 50 year old. It never worked. It was never healthy. I was never better off after the relationship than I was before. He is probably telling you that you’re an old soul, or actually more mature than other women he’s dated, or more genuine, or unique, or something else that makes you think YOU are the one who can make this work. But that’s not why 34 year olds date 18 year olds. It’s because you don’t have the experience to recognize when he’s a bad partner—low effort at best, abusive at worst. Do not do it.


owolowiec16

If a 34 year old is trying to date an 18 year old that is concerning. I was 20 dating a 32 year old and that was yikes. This is definitely worse especially because legality is probably the only thing stopping him from dating younger (if he doesnt) and as a 24 year old life is very different then when I was 18 fresh out of highschool


xxxmsky

Age:2+7 34:2+7= 24 34 year old shouldn't date younger than 24


[deleted]

Yes. 100 percent yes.


WolfSavage

Considering your post history, consider therapy instead of this relationship.