By - Night_Hawk69420
One day, it’s all good. Take a pic of yourself to save in your phone so you can reference it down the road when you get triggered again. Maybe with a little caption expressing how you feel at this very moment so you don’t have to relieve this moment again!
I never really cared for the term relapsed it creates alot of guilt and shame. Just think of it has you had X amount of sober days and drank one day notbthat big of a deal don't beat your self up over it and be proud of the sober days you strung together that is an accomplishment
Agreed. In SMART meetings, they refer to it as having a flat tire. I am driving from New York to LA and have a flat tire in Nebraska. Do I drive back to New York to fix it or do I fix it there and continue to LA? Keep rolling forward!
Call it for what it is
Oooooooh I like this
Damn that is a dope metaphor.
Keep driving on the flat tire though? The rim is going to get fucked up and you might crash the car and now you have to start repairs from much deeper
He just said to fix it there, not take it back to New York. Reread his reply
I was just trying to add to the metaphor, not edit it, I guess I didn't make that clear.
Like if you don't fix it there, as in you keep drinking after the "relapse" it will get worse
If you can do 6 months you can do anything. Don’t look at it as a bad thing, it’s a hard feat. Give yourself time. Watch your favorite movie or listen to your fav song. Eventually we can all look back and say, I’m glad I stopped drinking.
And sometimes it happens. The key is to first forgive yourself. Ask what am I going to do differently this time? Lots of us have been there. Fear and embarrassment kept me away for almost 11 years. We don't fail until we quit trying. 6 months was awesome. Really, all you lost was time. Pick yourself up, dust off, and try again. It really is ok. AGAIN, forgive yourself. It will be ok.
Now you have a specific feeling you can remember when the thoughts start creeping into your brain that you might drink. The feeling of regret, embarrassment and horror that happened when you woke up and realized how you acted. I always remember that even when drinking alone I blacked out, fell against my dresser and had to get 11 stitches in my forehead. The little thoughts creeping in my head from my disease telling me I must drink go away when I remember I'm not even safe in my own home drinking. Alcohol wants us dead. Good luck, you deserve to be free!
What I'm about to say is very controversial. But we don't have a disease bro, wake up. We have an addiction. Please don't fall into that BS
Disease, addiction, whatever it is, it causes me to drink uncontrollably and I despise myself afterward but can try to remember that and try to stop myself is all I'm saying.
This is an ongoing debate it seems in recovery culture. I’m not sure if it’s a disease or not. It runs in my family, but I’m not sure if that makes it a disease. I’m new to sobriety so idk
IMHO addiction is a disease but if u don't want to call it that, fine. Don't get all wierded out about what you call it you just have to remember it is evil and wants to destroy you so you have to fight back. And when I'm having cravings or those little thoughts start creeping in that I can just have a few and will stop, I listen at an online zoom AA meeting. My group has 4 meetings every day and is called Spirit of the Universe and the link is https://aa-intergroup.org/. Join us, you deserve to be free!
Good work on the 6 months! Don’t let this deter you that’s a huge milestone. Just pick it up again and you’ll have that time back before you know it .
I'm sorry you are having a hard time today; don't be mad at yourself, it's going to be OK. 60 days is really powerful, and it is an awesome accomplishment! This time of year is such a big hurdle; I can't think of a more difficult time to try to fight this battle, so please be kind and forgive yourself. It's going to be OK, and you can think about how you feel now and make some choices about moving forward. If you want to keep going, trying to stay sober, we're here for you. This internet stranger wants you to feel good about yourself. Take good care of yourself; do something nice for yourself to feel better, maybe a warm bubble bath, or whatever will be comforting to your soul. We are here if you want to talk about things.
Getting sober is a journey. You make mistakes, learn about addiction, test things on yourself, fail, try a different way, fail, come to realisations, until you master your own self. Never beat yourself up, youhsve to make mistakes in order to learnand youate really doing great. Also, think that addiction is the opposite to connection. Connect with yourself, forgive yourself, show yourself compassion and love, be a friend to yourself, be your own support and company. You are worthy and wise!
This 0 day reset and relapse thing is quite stupid.
You were 6 months sober. That’s 6 months worth of sober experiences.
1 day drinking doesn’t erase all that learnings and experiences.
You just gotta move forward. No need counting days and beating up yourself with the 0 day reset shit.
I’m new to sobriety so I only know the surface level recovery ideas. I’ve gotten lots of very nice dms about other sobriety paths which are far less regret based
Don't be ashamed for one day. You still have six months sober, one day relapse. I "subscribe" to SMART philosophy. You got this!
You got belligerent? Vomited? So what. Apologize for what happened, and keep it trucking. It's hard. I see you and hear you. I'm in the same boat!
Thanks for the comment. I’ve gotten a lot of mean messages saying that getting belligerent drunk makes me a cunt. My friends understand and told me I was just a bit moody and bitchy, so less bad than I remember.
You're very welcome, stranger. It really doesn't make you a cunt at all! I've most certainly been there and said things that I wish I hadn't. If those "friends" can't forgive you in your moments of weakness, then they are not friends at all.
your plans now ?
Meetings, therapy and apologising mostly. Need to get back to sobriety
Start again. Learn from your mistakes. It took me years before I was comfortable around any booze.
People, places, things. These are to be handled carefully in early sobriety.
Totally agree. I far over estimated what I could handle at this time. Going to be more careful.
Yea dude who cares that you relapsed, go find something to connect to and you’ll forget about alcoholism lol. Beach volleyball did it for me! It’s a sport, hobby, and you meet so many people. It’s a life style!
Use this as a tool. Remember this when you need to play the tape forward. Use the shame. Guilt, and pain as a device. Don’t drink and go to meetings. IWNDWYT
Have you tried going to the A.A. meetings yet ? I found it was a lot easier to do this with a team
I was white knuckling for a while, but I’m looking into recovery paths.
Link to the 24/7 Alcoholics Anonymous meetings on Zoom.
The only requirement to go to AA is to have a desire to stop.
You don't have to speak, or turn on the camera.
If you DM the host, they will send you phone numbers of people who want to talk.
I'm a fan of AA. For me, it works. I enjoy the meetings, the friendships, and the sponsorship. That being said, there are other methods. Smart Recovery, TSM, Dharma Recovery, S.O.S and others, I'm am sure. There's medications to help. I'm almost 3 years sober now. White knuckling it is a bitch. We don't learn from it. Any recovery method should include others for support. Hearing you're not alone is beneficial. For me, AA gave me a new way of living. They call it a design for living. Regardless, you can get better. Find a support system that works for you.
DEMORALIZING to say the least.
6 months is a good stretch.
the longer ur dry the worse the relapse
ur brain is going to start craving and rationalizing drinking on xmas...then new yrs, if this happens ur fucked.
Imo everyone's going to fixate on the astronomically improbability that it was just one bad day.
I know very few drunks who can handle relapses.
yep i cringe when i read those comments
Vomiting and being a cunt isn't alcoholic behaviour.
Not for everyone, but once I drink enough I get bitchy and unhappy. Plus I hadn’t had a drink for 6 months so when I went that hard I puked.
Relapses happen my friend, it is very, very normal in the recovery process. Try your best not to obsess over it, though. Move forward and don’t look back.
tomorrow is another chance to start anew. Ive been where you are. Please get back to working your program as soon as humanly possible! I have faith that you will bounce back better than ever, with more knowledge and better aware of what is healthy for you to do socially
I have relapsed, drank, whatever word one wants to use.
What it taught me to the bone is that I have alcoholism, through and though. That actually made me okay with myself. It isn't a weakness. I am not stupid. I do not have a character defect. I am not a fuck up. I have a disease.
That erased all the embarrassment and shame forever for me.
I hope you can see yourself as good as I see myself. Once I started taking medicine and starting treatment, my life became better than I could ever imagine. (It sounds trite, but it is so true.) 13 plus years later, I have more than I could ever have dreamed.
It’s encouraging that you shared your story so I know you want to be accountable. Don’t give up. Remember all those days you didn’t feel like shit the next day.
One day at a time. For everything, especially in sobriety. I did this also the first time I hit my first 9 months. i though I have had enough time under my belt to be able to handle a situation like this one you described. I drank immediately when I put myself in the drinking situation, with no plan out..Truth is, it’s almost 2 1/2 years later and I am still not okay with going to bars, or drinking parties. it really messes with my sobriety still personally.
One thing I had to do, which I would highly consider if you are an addict, is to look at the people in your life, and remove the people that aren’t helpful to your recovery. I had to get rid of ALL my drinking friends, or we just fell off because I was no longer drinking and they continued. We didn’t have much in common anymore believe it or not haha and yeah it’s been a different sometimes difficult transition, but I have noticed it was EXTREMELY helpful to my sobriety. I am no longer tempted by potential drinking because either my friends don’t drink, and I only see my family occasionally and they all know I don’t drink. I make it very known to everyone new in my life that, “hey, I don’t drink.” And if they get mad then I say “maybe you shouldn’t either” haha. And it really hasn’t been an issue since.
Try not to be so hard on yourself. Relapses aren’t uncommon. Like at all. Especially when the time frame is 1mo,3mo,6mo,9mo,12mo,18mo,1yr and so oon. This is why we celebrate within the community these milestones because we know how hard these times are. There is some great information on the www.aa.org web page and something that helped me when I was struggling was sitting in on some online zoom meetings. Especially when I first started out because I was so shy and scared, embarrassed yet super prideful and so many other things I could list..the best thing about it is I didn’t have to show my face or talk much if I was uncomfortable, and I found being in those online rooms has made me so much more comfortable with being sober. There are some general 24/7 websites like [24/7 meetings](https://www.aahomegroup.org) [24/7 online](https://www.aa-intergroup.org) which is all over the world.
You are not alone in this!!! Stay positive, take things one day at a time, and forgive yourself. This is a tough and rough road we walk and sometimes we fall. But hopefully we get right back up again! Best of luck to you 🤝
Nothing wrong with some additional research.
I spent 18 years learning I could *not* drink recreationally.
I’ve since learned I like my sober self way, way more.
I’m proud of for posting. You are always welcome here.
They're going to quit inviting you.
And you may need new teetotaler friends.
"And they say there's a heaven for those who will wait
Some say it's better, but I say it ain't
I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
The sinners are much more fun
You know that only the good die young"
Billy will have to explain his intentions for that song in the judgement seat. Not gonna be pretty
I read it as a lament over a virtuous Catholic girl.
But that line is a good testament to how humans like what isn't always good for us.
Moths are to bulbs like humans to porn/booze/whatever.
As long as the moth doesn't see a bulb, he's good.
As long as the human avoids porn/booze/whatever, he's good.
Humans think they are better than the moth ("I can handle a drink"). But humans are just like the moth.
It's kind of like how a relapse can start days before it happens. Start dwelling on that oh so sweet buzz on Monday and by Friday a relapse can be organized and executed.
We're animals and subject to the bickering with our brains.
Absolutely. “Kind of”. Telling people to avoid exposure to alcohol is unhealthy and unhelpful. Personally I suffer from OCD so I know all about the extreme end of avoidance tactics to cope with obsession. Small amounts of exposure are key to overcoming problematic thinking. It’s unrealistic to expect someone to live a life avoiding all contact with alcohol and people using it. By which I mean it’s perfectly possible to see an advert for alcohol without necessarily relapsing.
That, I agree with. The relapse happens long before we drink. We quit doing all the things that kept us sober. We alcoholics have built-in forgetters. After a while, we tend to forget that pain and misery that our drinking caused. I say sometimes at my meetings, I know I have another run left in me. What I don't know is if I have another recovery left. The last run took me 11 years to come back. I cling to AA like a drowning man clings to a raft. I've regained so much of my life back. I really don't want to go back down the rabbit hole again.
Cigarettes are like that too.
You never know if you have another quit in you.