By - solennes-anguis
"Self imposed deadlines don't work, because I know the guy the set them & he's full of shit." - that one Tumblr post
Yeah. I’ve been setting one deadline for like 4 years always foing the “I’ll start tomorrow”. Its been 4 years of tomorrow
At that point I just let it go. The pressure of having to do something ironically triggers my avoidant tendencies. Its just not going to get done, I accept that wholey. And once I do that, completely relieving myself of that responsibility does it kinda clear up my mind. I find theres usually something else in my life thats emotionally draining me, and I gotta weed it out. I usually start feeling good after and I get the spark to do that thing again without the pressure.
I guess I’m somewhat burned out from it but the main problem of it is okay so basically I am trying to study Anatomy (along with other things but focusing on the biology portion of an exam that I need to take to be able to apply to a dental school but the biology consists of anatomy and ecology and cells and other things but I’m starting always with anatomy since its the toughest from it all)
So basically the problem is that my textbook (its a course that tells you what you need to know/memorize word for word for the exam, but it fails to go into detail. It does such a poor job explaining things that I’m stuck doing extra work and thats an ADHD nono. Well anyways so I usually take a week or so to get pst these hurdles but I do it. The main problem however is that the first chapter in the anatomy is on the heart, vessels, and blood (the cardiovascular system).
It’s an easy chapter all except for the concept of pressure. This is such a horribly explained process in the book and on the internet, that I just cant move past it. I don’t even need to know it to that extent. But it just hurts my soul not knowing exactly how pressure works (in every corner of the body how it changes as blood travels through it), it is killing me inside and its been the main reason why I just cant get on with my life
But I actually enjoy learning anatomy, so I am reading a somewhat advanced text on my free time for fun versus this thing of a textbook that is just so badly explaining any concept out there.
Sorry if it doesn’t make much sense
I love the way you type, its like youre talking to me unfiltered, youre just typing exactly how you would say it. Its neat, and I get what youre saying and that does sound like a fun topic.
May I ask what about pressure? What do you know about it, and what doesnt make sense? If you can or comfortable. Im no genius, but im a whore for general knowledge on everything and anything. Ive recently been getting into human evolution, the function of our cells, and how we came to be the big flesh computers consisting of billions of micro-organisms all collectively working together to create a singular us, who are capable of being aware of itself, and the enviroment around us. How we process information is an absolute marvel, Ive been learning so much about the human condition, I really really wish I had someone to talk about it with. (I love nuerology/sociology/psychology especially)
Im seriously so up for a crash course on the heart and blood pressure. I wanna figure out where youre coming from, and talk it out. I know some things about blood pressure like, I know visually, or I have an understanding how it may work due to personal experience working with seniors and caretaking. I know theres a lot of different factors/elements that influence the blood pressures in our bodies, even if I dont know the proper termonology.
oh my god they just like me fr
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That’s the what I miss from living my mom, cause when she said those “you can’t do (sth I like) unless it’s clean here” I actually was able to get this shit done. Now that I am “my own boss” I just can’t make it work.
This is the same issue I have with "rewards" to do things. I know the dumbass (me) who is setting up the reward so I can just move the goal line. Also see why I suck at dieting, lol
Now I'm curious. Do people without ADHD really function like that? Can people just fricking do it? >!Unfortunately, yes and!< They're like a different breed to me.
No, people without ADHDstill have to exercise self discipline, build and maintain healthy habits and time management routines, etc. Its just easier for some.
Meanwhile we have bunch of tasks, and our best productivity comes when we manage to single out the most arduing task we ABSOLUTELY DO NOT WANT TO DO.
Then we proceed to do anything else just to NOT DO that one task that must be done.
Either that or becoming curious about something and then returning back to reality a closely unknown period of time later.
This is so accurate. I finally finished laundry I had been putting off doing for literal months just to avoid doing work that was due that day lmfao why are we like this
Bro we're playing life on hardcore mode
How do you know at what point it becomes a ADHD diagnosis? When it impacts your life?
When you have 6 symptoms
I always wonder who this advice is actually for.
Like, do NT people really not think of these things before ultimately giving up and asking for help from others?
“Holy smokes guys, I was having so much trouble keeping organized - no idea why - but I saw a post/comment mention a planner and to-do list and I’ve been right as rain ever since!”
My mother in law lives and breathes by her planner. It’s packed full every year and she sticks to it and refers back to it all the time. I’ve known her 15+ years and she’s consistent af. I wish I had the capacity. Keeping records or notes together is my ultimate nemesis.
Those are going to be keepsakes some day and I am very jealous.
I feel like most of us would benefit from a personal secretary.
ADHDer’s are extrinsically motivated so having someone with a functioning brain to move you into action does work
A planner and to-do list works wonders for me, assuming all I have to do is admin or chores. For anything else for the rest of my life it's useless. We've lived here for 6 months and I still haven't remembered to report the curtain rail and kitchen lights to the maintenance people.
I will write the same to do list multiple times, look at it everyday, set reminders on my phone, and STILL forget to to do the thing!!
And people are like “stop using adhd as an excuse, now that you know better you have to try harder” like im not already trying my hardest just to do the bare minimum
Oh my list only works day-of. Like I will get up and "okay what do I need to get done today' and micro-manage every single chore. I cannot write myself a list for 3 days from now because after I sleep it no longer exists.
Telling an ADHD person to "just try and focus" is like telling a paraplegic to "just try to walk" and I'm tired of pretending it's not.
Taking a walk is low-key good advice though. Not like it'll solve all your problems, but it does help.
Yeah the walk thing can actually help, if you can get yourself to just start the walk (I know, the hardest part).
Shit like the first few weeks of making myself walk for 1hr 15min every day during the summer were fucking BRUTAL. And I even liked walking then, I just didn’t want to. But now I’ve actually made a habit for the first time in my life and have walked like every day since, and I even still like walking so ay let’s go. Downside: now I make myself walk when I’m sick too… so, that’s kinda fucked
Also, I’ve found out how to extract the most enjoyment out of it (according to my brain), by walking at night and listening to a podcast called ear biscuits. Also, HOW TF DID MY GOOFY AHH ADHD BROKEN BRAIN FUGURE OUT HOW TO LISTEN TO PODCASTS?????? Some things that my brain is capable of astonish me
Podcasts are an express elevator to "speak faster, wait I wasn't listening."
So, bravo, you shall now be burnt as a witch.
Nah I still can’t listen to professor lectures and stuff of the like. It’s probably because the shit they say is funny/interesting/not some random ass ruler from 713bc
I got myself into the habit of daily walks early this year, got covid 3 months in, haven't picked it back up since
I think that's the worst thing for me, whenever I do manage to get a habit, a single disruption will cause me to drop it entirely
That’s probably why I walk even when I’m sick maybe I learned that subconsciously because I know I’ve done that in the past
You... you say that like going for walks isn't actually my goal?
In my defence, my dog hates walking but it feels stupid to go without her.
I felt like that when I started walking by myself too (my boyo is too old now to go for long walks). I was gonna give some advice but it was just gonna be “just remember that no one gives a shit except the stress/anxiety chemicals in your brain”, but idk that sounded weird to me. Maybe you’ll take that advice thing anyway
Walking is better than scrolling reddit for sure.
funny of you to assume I won't do both!
I try to look at rooftops for odd aerials or other objects and only glance down a bit to be sure of footing.
I do this purely to be nice to my spine.
Unless you already walk all day at work like in a retail job where I spend 10 hours on my feet.
My problem is I don’t want to stop walking lmao
When I was at uni I used to walk while reading notes to study for my exams (always super last minute of course). It was super helpful. Somehow my brain was so much more focused walking that time felt slower. I would get through more notes in an hour while walking than I would in 12h sitting at a desk, and remember everything better afterwards too
Yeah exactly, I find walking the perfect type of minor stimulation that allows me to think through stuff thoroughly.
bro if you’re depressed just be happy it’s not that hard
Someone actually told me this once lmao. I tried explaining depression to them and they basically just said “but you have so many things that make you happy. Just try and smile more. Think of happy things. That doesn’t work? Try harder”
I want a holiday in that person’s brain.
Not sure if the silence would be maddening or relaxing
Why do these subs exist at all if their only advice is: git good!
because to a neurotypical person “git good” is inspiring and useful advice
Yeah, right? like how..? What changed between the moment before the "advice" and after. If they took a moment they could probably just talk themselves up in the mirror instead of seeking it from a stranger online who's not really actually saying anything.
Because to neurotypicals there literally is no barrier stopping them from doing stuff (usually) and it's just laziness stopping them, so "git gud" is sound advice
*the game is rigged*
From where you're kneeling, this must seem like an 18 karat run of bad luck. Truth is, game was rigged from the start
"My wife is dead, courier"
"Hahaha Boone, you big jokester."
Always has been
Exactly we always have to fight a million thoughts at all times to basically do anything at all unless we have a direct interests in the task at hand otherwise the fighting with our brains never ever ends I swear most neurotypicals have absolutely no idea whatsoever just how lucky they are to have a normal brain that operates the way it was intended to
It's like talking to an asshole dark souls player
.....not that I am one of those
I mean, if you can play Dark Souls with your asshole that's kind of impressive.
Someone has absolutely done that already
My response is usually why don’t you try fucking all the way off. Thaaaaanks.
At least that’s what I’ll say in my head.
Have you ever noticed that all of the recommendations in those productivity places, whether it be books, seminars, or subreddits, are just dead obvious. Like, it makes me think that NTs must be drooling idiots of they have to be told to make a list or take a refresher break. How stupid do you have to be to need to be told to take notes?
For us, yes, legit this stuff does not work. And we know it doesn't because we've tried it all in a desperate bid for any productivity. But for people for which this DOES work, do they really need to be told? Just seems like stating the obvious.
I think it's less than they need to be told, and more that the people who are productive naturally genuinely think that everyone else is capable of it. It's exactly like a rich person saying "the secret to my millions? I wake up at 5am every day and drink lemon water!" Like okay maybe you do but that ain't the secret to your success, buddy. You've got natural advantages that the rest of us haven't got.
LOL love that example.
I mean taking notes in school worked for me (not when it came to remembering home work or timely things). By taking notes, of course, I mean doodling in the margin of my notebook paper and attempting to draw the master sword while jotting down the occasional thing I heard that sounded important
I’m really good at being productive doing other things while procrastinating way more important things
I do make a to-do list. Shit, I can make an awesome to-do list and break that fucker down into little segments throughout the day with everything colour-coded and sending me alerts on all my devices.
Doesn’t mean I’m gonna do any of that shit, though
Sadly if you ask a NT for solutions, they’re going to give you NT solutions.
Everyone I know with ADHD has problems keeping up habits, even good ones like working out, fuck it, we try, but we won't always succeed
“If you’re homeless, then buy a house” type of response
"The trick to avoiding a high mortgage? Pay in cash!!"
Okay buddy. You're clearly working with resources I don't have access to.
Why would you be hanging out on a productivity subreddit tho? Them places ain't for us, just a bunch of already high-performing normies that can't quite fathom that what works for them personally doesn't necessarily apply to others.
" I used to be like you then I just got a calender and started making to do lists" -neurotypical person
"Sometimes you just need to kick yourself in the butt and admit to yourself that you just don't want to do the thing and then do the thing anyway." 🙃
I'm currently on my 4th to-do list. Basically I start a to-do list but put off doing things for so long that the list becomes huge and too overwhelming to even think about, so I avoid it. Eventually I need to do something important and it's absolutely essential that I write it down but I still can't bring myself to look at my old to do list so I make a new one and add the task there, along with a second task saying "organize old to do list". Then I start adding tasks to the new to-do list and the process repeats until I'm 4 lists deep like I am now lol
I really wonder if to-do lists make me more productive or if I'm just in enough of a productive mood to make a to-do list.
But have you tried using a planner?
Too many "normal people solutions"
how do i verbalize why calendars and to do lists dont work? i just know they dont but i cant explain why not
Setting alarms does really help tho. And I’ll fuck up a good to-do list.
Unpopular opinion: These are all good advice and the entire point of medication is to give you the breathing room to implement them and make full use of these better coping strategies. Medication doesn’t make the problems go away, it just gives you more resources to find better coping strategies.
Because all of this stuff is still coping. Coping doesn’t mean suffering. It just means finding a way to lessen the negative impact of a shortcoming. Even for the NT crowd. Humans make to do lists because we all forget. We go for walks because sitting around all day generally makes us feel kind of crappy. Setting alarms is a good practice if you’re afraid you will forget to do something much later. It’s not a bad thing to need these tools to live successfully, everyone does it in some way or another.
But that dopamine deficiency is a killer. It’s hard to do anything without dopamine driving your motivation. And, unfortunately, the more impactful and healthful coping strategies just do not typically give us that dopamine without either a lot of therapy and personal work and/or medication. Largely, in my amateur opinion, because there is a delay in the reward.
The rewards are there, really, I promise. But when there is a weeks long lag between my first effort of doing the dishes every day before I realize I am happier from doing the dishes every day, it means there’s so many opportunities for me to give up because the dopamine never hit for that task.
Never give up, never surrender!
Honestly, I agree to this.
Someone I know (who suspected to be at least neurodivergent) complained to me that they were struggling with keeping up with assignments because they would just pop out with no apparent reason. I asked them if they keep a planner to track all of their assignments or not. They said no.
I explained to them that even neurotypicals would get overwhelmed if they need to keep track of all the stuff they need to do during college and not have any sort of organizational method to track what they need to do.
I think my advice fell on deaf ears. I might bring that one up again if they ever bring that topic again. Keeping a planner won't solve all of your problems, but not keeping one would just add gasoline to the fire.
I mean… to-do lists and walks are good for me.
I don’t always do them and they aren’t magical cures, but they are helpful… sometimes
In their defense, I’ve gotten into the habit of making to-do lists and they personally help me a bit, but it’s definitely not life changing lmao
To be fair to do lists are the only thing helping me at all
Same! To-do lists and alarms (including an alarm to check the to-do list)! Tons of alarms with specific names for tasks, and I either snooze them until I complete the task or I reset the alarm to later if I’m not going to have time to do it. And for me the “just do it” advice actually works because I’ve noticed if I force myself to start something, the autism part of my brain will eventually take over and allow me to hyper-focus, but if I get interrupted, it’s so hard to get back into it again.
And of course calling people lazy is just ignorant!
This except the to do list is on my hand in sharpie lest it gets lost or I forget to check it.
Anyone else still get their feelings a tiny bit hurt when they get a downvote for earnestly sharing personal experiences? Oh well, that’s the internet.
Thank you for reminding me! I should go for a run! 🙈 No sarcasm
Going for runs/walks has been changing my life. <3
Just because someone has no idea what they're talking about won't stop them from saying it anyways.
God the unsolicited advice/phrase I’m hearing now is “you should pay attention to the little details” or “you don’t pay attention to the little things huh?”
Literally 90% of the time I’ll be obsessively thinking about the small details so I don’t forget to the point where it becomes the only thing I’m hearing in my head. I have to focus that hard on it that it becomes exhausting when I think about the process.
When I do miss something it just suddenly becomes a huge deal and I hate it omg. Hearing any of these other things would just set me off too now tbh
How do I tell which details are okay to leave out?
I find for me not leaving out any details is fine and ideal, but expecting me to do a detail that isn’t explicitly stated because they “like it that way” doesn’t always work. But I’m a hell of a people pleaser so if it’s not for me I do way too much so being scolded feels waaaay worse.
does anybody else take adderall for their adhd but still find it hard to complete tasks sometimes? I mean like does that mean I’m just lazy or what cus I wanna fcking cry right now idk what’s wrong with me
Medication doesn’t do everything for you, it just helps it so your brain isn’t blocking you from obtaining good coping mechanisms and self discipline strategies. You still have to build those habits yourself
Just set an alarm? Okay, then I’ll either forget what the alarm was for or turn it off and ignore it because I’m painting. Most likely both.
Make a to-do list? I do. Daily. But if your brain goes boing, that’s just gone out of the window.
None of this worked for me till I got on medication
You can’t focus? Just focus harder /s
I do chores as something to do while I work from home. Most of my day is spent in meetings so I like to use my wireless headset and fold laundry or dishes or w/e when I don't need to talk.keeps my hands busy and I can actually focus on what people are saying
Trying the todo list. Just got one and a chores list. Let’s see how this goes…
Going for a walk is good advice though 🤷🏽♀️
"Make a planner"
That’s why I’ve given up on taking any advice from the neurotypicals lol
> “go for a walk!”
This one actually works, as long as you have good podcasts/music/audiobooks
i made a homework list it kind of helps actually lol
Ugh what an idiot, just make your brain produce more of that chemical that motivates you to actually do stuff, duh!
It’s weird bc I’ll be sitting at home ALL day not doing any of the stuff that needs to be done but as soon as I leave the house I remember everything and think “I’ll do that when I get home” then repeat the cycle
“Write it in your planner.”
WTF? I don’t even have one plan, let alone multiple plans, which would necessitate a planner.
At the end of the day though what are they supposed to say?
That advice works for some people, if it doesn’t work for you then you need to get professional advice
Man I'm definitely seeing the younger me pre sobriety and pre therapy in these memes. It's one of those things where you just have to accept that that's the way it is and say fuck it I don't want to feel like offing myself and I feel like shit anyways so I might as well do something whatever it is that makes me feel some sort of good even if it's self indulgent. Or even if it's something I really don't want to do. Oftentimes I find that the thing I want to do the least if I do that thing and rumble and grumble through it and even just not even half asset quarter ass it I feel better. It's frustrating because a lot of these memes seem to encourage people just staying depressed and another portion of them are just disguised ads
*sips boba in not giving a f- ADHD*
If one more person tells me to focus I’m going to grow claws, climb to the top of a mountain and scream at the sun for 5 hours.
I have the energy, I will do it.
Sometimes one needs to force themselves to make it work. As challenging as it looks. Some of those people don't mean to be ignorant, they're just trying to help the only way they know how.
Alarms work great for getting my ADHD boyfriend to hang the laundry... Assuming I say to him "Set an alarm for 2 hours because that's when you have to hang the wet laundry" and double check he was listening and ask him twice what he's supposed to do in two hours when his alarm goes off. You know. Easy.
"Just do it" might work in some cases. If I have a thought about something I need to do, I might be able to "just do it" while it's still an "impulse" before the rest of my brain can shut it down. I've usually got less than a minute to act on those impulses if they're going to actually work for me. It's how I managed to shower today.
"Time for a bathroom break. Oh, being in the bathroom reminds me that I still need to shower. DOING THIS THING RIGHT NOW BEFORE I CAN TALK MYSELF OUT OF IT."
'Try to focus' is like saying 'try and relax' it's really hard when you're consciously trying.
Waited to take my medication until later because I had a ton to do today for thanksgiving and wanted to be able to function longer. Of course I forgot and crashed by 4.
use a planner!
I was told that i dont have adhd, to walk once a day for 7 days, to write a letter to a deity i dont believe in for 7 days, that i need to manage my emotions about my parents because i can hurt them with what i say (when they say worse to me more frequently). In the same meeting with someone. Tf
I’ve been told countless times to make to do lists by my therapist and I always have to explain why they don’t work for me…
And yet, at least some of these advises are part of adhd CBT… 🙃 I know, because I m following one currently.. they do understand it’s still hard, but if you want any form of success in life, you need to find some coping strategies… and keeping a planner/agenda/to do list cán be just that. Same with accountability… I do go for a walk once a week.. together with a friend. She’s NT, but needs the company to actually do it, just as I do.
" set yourself notes"
Here is the thing. I either:
1 forget to write the note
2 forget about the note and leave it there for like three months
3 read the note and don't do it
4 forget where the note is
Alarms work.. sometimes. If i need to be reminded of a meeting. There is no way i could do something i don't like unless i force myself to
it IS possible to build lifestyle habits for us, it just takes longer… but we should remember it is possible :)
Don’t forget ‘get a planner’
It just gets so patronizing at some point. Like, do you think I'm an absolute moron? *obviously* I set a reminder on my phone. I've been doing this ADHD thing for my entire life. It's like telling someone in a wheelchair to just get up and go for a jog
I actually find a to do list to be super helpful to me personally….. but that’s because if I don’t write it down I will 100% forget to do it lol. So I need to keep track!!
Otherwise though, yeah. This meme is it.
Ok, but hear me out for a second…
Going for a walk every morning has been really really good for me. Does it cure my ADHD? Fuck no. Does it make the symptoms more manageable? For the first few hours of my work day, absolutely.
I know it’s not super easy to just start walking every morning, but y’all should give it a try some time. You may be pleasantly surprised.
tf you talking about man, this is the ONLY shit that works. i suggest taking meds to help with this stuff, but everything you're complaining about is what good productivity requires. its hard for people like us cause ADHD, and i know nts dont really understand how hard, but they're still somewhat right
Taking a walk, that’s good advice. But “just focus” is really not.