It hasn’t been long since I realized that’s not considered “normal”. This is how I have always communicated, how I thought a conversation should flow. Either way I ended up losing contact with my school friends because of not being able to express myself correctly. When I started working, I found myself a great group of friends. This is how we all communicate 😂


So what is normal?


Having a consistent train of thought that doesn't jump from track to track like a frog about to have a heart attack from a caffeine overdose, like a *loser*.


So thats not yk... Common?


I wouldn't know, I only have the one brain, but from my understanding most people can actually stay on topic for more than a sentence


Theres definitely levels to it.


Would you say it has… *layers*


Like a parfait


that reminds me of that one time I ate at the french cafe


Onions have “layers” (in shrek)


Could you imagine having two brains though? Like, you have your birth brain, but then you can buy an upgraded brain that you transfer all your knowledge to, and that's the brain you wear to social events. You could bedazzle your new brain and everything, make it truly unique!


I'd get it halfway set up and forget about it


I'd be frozen trying to decide whether to bedazzle my second brain or subtly paint it, then get an anxiety attack, and put it away in a kitchen cabinet, where I'll forget about it and find it in a month covered in mold.


I would buy a whole bunch of supplies for subtly painting it, then decide that maybe I wanna do something with yarn, get 1/3rd of the way through something before scrapping it, changing my mind about the yarn, getting set up to paint it, and then let the brain and paints loom in my peripheral vision for the next 3 months until I decide to either give up or decide randomly I want to redecorate and put all the paints to a new place that in another 3 months I will struggle to find for another project I will probably not complete as well


Excuse me I did not sign up to be called out like this tonight


The Ood from Doctor Who would like a word with you lol. Although their extra brain was removed so they could be more social


I would have discussions with a coworker which were more like me philosophizing or talking at length about a topic, with her adding her two cents in occasionally (love the woman, she’s older than my mom but a fantastic listener, and she says she genuinely enjoys listening to me, which as someone who was told they’re annoying or need to shut up, as I’m sure many people with ADHD can relate to, is a blessing of huge proportions to have met her and worked with her). Anyway, sometimes we would be talking about something, and I would relate it to a thing and that to a thing, and I would lose track of the point I was trying to make lol. Several occasions of a monologue ending with “and all that to say, I forgot where I was going with this” to which she would smile and nod and say something along the lines “I think I understand the soul of what you were going for, the idea isn’t lost on me”. Bless her, this makes me wanna go spend more time with her.


Going off on tangent stories like you're playing hopscotch is completely different(and fine) from not being able to stay on topic for more than a sentence. If you can't even finish said story you were trying to tell that's a problem. If you can't fully conversate complete thoughts or can't wait for someone to finish before saying yours. That's something you should get checked out. As that's usually a symptom of adhd or other disorder.


Do you know what sub we’re in?


I got a shit ton of signs but im in deep denial about ADD diagnoses


Know which sub you're on? Lol


Yes, I like reading ADHD/ADD stuff


Fair enough homie. But just an fyi, life gets better after ANY diagnosis. You already have The Thing, but now you get to live better because it's being treated. Wish you luck, my dude :)


If you dont tell people yes (for example autism) people will treat you differently


My closest friend has issues staying on topic and is always distracted/going to a new topic. It's exhausting. We still talk quite a bit, but I find myself talking to him less and less. Often times I'll just stop talking the moment he jumps tracks because I just don't have the energy anymore to try and bring the conversation back. I'm really just typing this out to give that other perspective of those whom you have lost contact with. It sucks for both parties, but sometimes there's only time in a life for specific things to be communicated and when one party can't give that thing the attention you feel it needs, because they cant give anything that attention, it just ends up being easier to not speak about anything at all.


I just want you to know this almost definitely made your friend feel like shit and makes them question what they've done wrong daily. Ask me how I know. ಥ‿ಥ


I'm sure it did, and I'm sorry that it did, but it feels equally shitty to know you can't talk to someone because they can't focus on what you have to say. Is what I'm saying so unimportant that a random thought or something loosely related is enough to supplant the attention you were giving to my issue or topic? I give the same amount of attention that I request. Of course, this question is rhetorical. This situation has nothing to do with one thing being more or less important than another. My friend has ADHD. The dude literally "can't" focus for very long on anything. Unfortunately, this added nuance doesn't change the reality illustrated above. I can "understand" why he is the way he is, and I can assure him he did nothing wrong, but understanding doesn't change anything. It is exhausting to try and maintain communication and hold conversation like that. It is exhausting to try to do anything like that. For him too, I'm sure. It just sucks for both. OP of this thread mentioned how he/she found a group of similar friends and that it works, and that's great. I hope that everyone finds that like-minded group or person to be friends with because you, or anyone, shouldn't feel as if you did anything "wrong" (you didn't, generally speaking). Just a matter of incompatibility.


As someone with ADHD I can assure you that the importance of a topic is not as big of a factor for what our brains are willing to hold on to as people without it. Something can be extremely important even to us and we may still have trouble focusing on it. That being said, it is perfectly valid and understandable to not keep up with someone that can't meet your needs. The other commentator said your friend would have felt like shit, but their communication style made you feel bad and your feelings are just as important in a friendship as the other person's. You did the right thing.


I didn't mean to lay blame on you. I simply wanted to point out the effects your actions may have had. Communication is important and I jumped the gun there I apologize. The point I was trying to bring across is that your friend more than likely understood exactly what you were saying, and brought up other, albeit possibly unrelated things, to show they are listening and trying to form a connection with you, and they are unaware of any alternatives. I meant to say instead of cutting contact, try to communicate, it can make a world of difference in someone's life. You could've been their closest friend and never knew it.


No apologies necessary. I didn't take it that way. Thank you all the same. It's good advice and a perspective I was unaware of.


I’m on the other side of this. I have some severe adhd symptoms. And after 14 years, I finally freed someone I considered to be my bff. The time blindness is a thing and I don’t experience friendship degradation. But it was really hurting him. I couldn’t give them what they needed without hurting myself. So we went ahead and parted ways :( + (:


Its so common that it's weird to say it's not normal.


Yeah. Absolutely. I remember some neuro-cientist talking about statistics. (to sumarize roughly) if you consider disorders, consitions, anxiety, depression etc, the neurotipical are a small part of the global population. I.e.: Being athipical is more fitting of the word "normal".


Yeah its kind of interesting. Being normal isn't normal lol


If this is true, my mind is blown that we as a society haven’t made this common knowledge yet.


Its not that ive been reminded of something, its that something you said 5 minutes ago kickstarted a conversation entirely within my own head completely independant to what we have been actually talking about and now i wish to discuss my brain conversation with you




I just *love* it when that happens. "I promise this made sense in my head, but..."


My favorite quote is "Where did that come from?!" Then I have to explain the chain of thoughts that I had so people can understand my logic.


Can you show that in sentences? Because I think my brain does this.


I think my brain does this too. I had a dog named brain. Have you read any Sartre? This Marzen is really good. I'd love to go to Europe. That's about how my conversational trees go subject-wise. Some little piece of something reminds me of something else, which reminds me of something else, etc.. The connections are usually tenuous and don't connect to any larger subject. Honestly, jumping around focuses isn't necessarily a bad thing conversationally so long as you have the ability to pace yourself to the recipient and learn how to transition smoothly without cutting people off. That same conversational flow is expressed in my actions as well. I simply do not maintain focuses on singular things very well and find it exhausting when I'm forced to.


>Some little piece of something reminds me of something else, which reminds me of something else, etc.. The best is when you make all those tenuous connections in half a second and immediately skip to the last one which isn't even remotely related to the first thing because your train of thought jumped like seven times on the most vague connections possible


I’m really going to have to remember this next time I talk to someone because I think my mind does this but I don’t say it out loud but I’m also not sure.


I think everyone does it to some extent. It's really only when it's taken to some particular extreme combined with people who lack either impulse control or social awareness where it sticks out. It's not like people who are better able to maintain a focus have nothing else going on in their heads but the conversation at-hand, they just hold the specific focus better.


I mean, someone with ASD would be able to hold on topic dangerously well.


I don't know about that. I am a mother to a small toddler, and when I'm talking to other mothers the conversation goes something like this: "Can you believe that?!" "Oh my god, yes....that is so.... HEY! STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING RIGHT THERE MISSY! HEYYYYY!!! DONT RIDE THE DOG!! SHE IS NOT A HORSE!!" \*three minutes later\* "So, anyway..." This essentially happens the whole time. Non-parents can't keep up and often get flustered, but parents don't even miss a beat, lol.


That’s boring as fuck


Tell me more about this train conductor frog


I always refer to my thought process as similar to workings of a pinball machine.


But that’s so boring!


The easiest way to never have your train of thought be derailed is to get rid of the rails. That way it can’t run off the rails


I think it depends on your perspective. I still consider this normal! The conversation never dies, there’s no awkward silence and you end up knowing someone better and faster, since they’re always bring their own life experiences. The down side for me is that I end up sharing too much information or blurting out something that’s supposed to be personal only


Indeed, it's a slippery slope to over sharing.


It has fucked me up before. Never blurted out someone’s secrets but did it to a few of mine…


for me this has just made me off putting to some people, particularly in long group conversations about a particular topic. especially when I'm not fully paying attention and so the connection that I make seems *completely* out of left field because i misheard or misinterpreted something. i think people think I'm trying to change the subject, or make it about me, or that I'm just weird. as a kid/teen other kids would go "umm....okay?", laugh at me, and give me a "wtf?" look. being a fat girl with hyperhidrosis didn't help either. in college they mainly just looked at me funny then avoided talking to me. as an adult I think 3 times before I say something in a group of people I don't know are safe unless I know it seems directly related to the conversation (and as a result I'm usually very quiet in groups now). it sucks. I'm super cognizant to respond positively to people when they bring up something unrelated because I know how painful and confusing it is when it seems like the things you say are worthless or almost offensive to people because they don't understand what you meant or why you said it in the first place. e: moving relevant info to appropriate paragraph l o l


It's not weird to talk like this. People pull shit out of left field all the time, it's just how it be.


>common human habit *is this ADHD?*


basically every ADHD symptom is a normal human behavior, it's the severity, frequency and impact that qualifies it as ADHD. pretty much everyone has occasionally fallen asleep unintentionally but that doesn't mean everyone has narcolepsy, and it doesn't mean that narcoleptics are faking it or being overdramatic or are invalidated when they talk about their narcolepsy just because it happens to everyone *sometimes*


Thank you, I needed to be reminded of this today ♥️


It just depends on the severity and frequency. Occasionally getting distracted is totally normal, but constant uncontrollable distraction isn't.


>In children, ADHD often produces physical hyperactivity. In an adult, this symptom may present in a more psychological way, for example, by the person changing subjects abruptly in conversation, interrupting others, or frequently shifting from one task to another. This is a recognized ADHD thing and also something that people do on stimulants. Also obviously probably everyone does this a bit. This sub has a really bad habit of denying ADHD behaviors that aren't well explored by medicine but this is the first time I think I remember so many people doubting a symptom literally a single google search away.


I have adhd and talk like this 🤷🏼‍♀️


kids definitely treated me like i was weird as fuck for talking like this in school, including in college. as an adult i basically just don't talk around people who I don't know for sure are also like this or are not going to judge me anymore and mask like a motherfucker when i have to, making certain that whatever I *do* say won't be something like what has elicited that reaction in the past. it sucks, i can't be the only one, and I'm sorry but comments like these are gaslighting


A myth. Normal is a myth perpetuated by those in power. No one is honestly 'normal', and the notion of such is the reason so many suffer with internal shame of not measuring up to society's unreasonable expectations.


yup. i remember observing a couple conversations at one point and realizing that people just....talk about the same thing.....for like 20 or 30 minutes at a time OR MORE......had no idea that was even possible, how do you come up with that much to say on one topic?!


exactly! 20/30 minutes going over the same topic sounds so boring…. wait that’s actually part of the issue 😂


It's actually "normal". A well timed "this reminds me of" is a great way to keep a conversation flowing


Nothing wrong with it as long as you learn to transition. Then you can go down all sort of rabbit hole conversations that are definitely more fun than normal conversation.


this is 100% normal


it is normal to a certain point. If you cannot (never) stay in the same topic, It harms your life - in relationships and work, for example


Yeah. Just. Yeah.


Do you work with software development?


This is normal. It's the people who can't connect the dots have a problem. We're pattern-finding monkeys, and they can't even pattern-find? That just sounds like someone who can't carry a conversation. There's plenty of NT people like this, but it's not an NT trait.


That's your average conversation in the pub. Does that mean everyone in the pub is neuro divergent?


Wait. You're telling me I DON'T have to relearn communication skills? I can just find other people like me?!


I've tried asking how to communicate normally and I can't really get a good answer. I mainly just listen and ask questions now because it makes people like me a lot more, but it's hard for me to communicate still.


Subconsciously, I have been doing that too. Just taking the conversation how the other person wants it. It’s an habit I want to break, since I never want to do that with my best friends; I don’t want to have to mask around them


My sister and I talk like this. I didn't register it as weird until we were in the car with her fiance and a normally talkative boy was very quiet. Later he said he couldn't keep up with the topics of conversation long enough to participate... oops.


Same! This is my sister and I too. We can hop on a “quick” call for a specific topic and it ends up being 30+ min of tangential topics.


I somewhat recently met someone who is neurodivergent as well and its just really fun being able to talk random bs for so long. Like, we said we were gonna watch this anime on a discord vc and we ended up not being able to finish more than 3 episodes and ended up talking random shit for like 3 hours straight


Yeah, it's basically me talking about things I wanted to talk about otherwise, but didn't get the chance yet for whatever reason. Unless I'm on my meds and then I'm actually capable of holding a "regular" conversation lol


My friend's gf said something along the lines of "wow, you're the only one I've seen keep up with him in a conversation."




Relateable w/ some friends!! 😃


Both my ex-wife/co-parent and my boyfriend talk like this, so I have spent the majority of my adult life in relationships where my own predilection for it is totally enabled lol. I have recently realized that all of my close friends and/or people who enjoy my company are people who are totally unfazed by my insane version of a conversation, even if they don't do it themselves. They are just like ok, we WERE talking about applying to high school for our kids but now we are apparently going to tackle Nathalie's sudden surge of strong feelings about the effects of COVID lockdowns and how it's probably encouraged the bad habits of people who don't pick up dog poop when they are out walking around NYC (bc ALL the things are connected in my head). And now it's the elections, ok she has strong feelings about that, and now it's the high school where she votes at down the street and now, oh look, we are back to high schools bc she is pissed that her kid can't just go to that high school and instead has to apply to schools an hour away!


“You wouldn’t understand how drug use in teens is connected to the pacific garbage island even if I explained it to you”


I completely photosynthesize with this


Hm? Oh that's easy, drug users use needles and throw 'em away. Thrown away = trash = wtf you think the Pacific garbage island is made out of. If you want further links, somebody that cares little enough about themselves to do drugs probably doesn't care enough about others to bothered by "just #A needle, bro", thus completely unbothered by the fact it's actually "a" needle times needles used per unit time times drug users with access to a body of water that drains to the pacific which is mathematically written as a*a lot*a fuckuva lot=garbage island.


> I have recently realized that all of my close friends and/or people who enjoy my company are people who are totally unfazed by my insane version of a conversation If I meet someone and immediately take a liking to them to them they usually either have ADHD, too, or are on the border to have it.


My dad has long said he can't keep up with conversations between my mom and myself, it's only in the last year or so as I've gone through the process of being diagnosed that my mom has started to wonder about herself.


"I'm sorry you had a divorce but you know what this reminds me of? RAID SHA..."


all roads lead to raid shadow legends


RAID: Shadow Legends™️ is an immersive online experience with everything you'd expect from a brand new RPG title. It's got an amazing storyline, awesome 3D graphics, giant boss fights, PVP battles, and hundreds of never before seen champions to collect and customize. I never expected to get this level of performance out of a mobile game. Look how crazy the level of detail is on these champions! RAID: Shadow Legends™️ is getting big real fast, so you should definitely get in early. Starting now will give you a huge head start. There's also an upcoming Special Launch Tournament with crazy prizes! And not to mention, this game is absolutely free! So go ahead and check out the video description to find out more about RAID: Shadow Legends™️. There, you will find a link to the store page and a special code to unlock all sorts of goodies. Using the special code, you can get 50,000 Silver immediately, and a FREE Epic Level Champion as part of the new players program, courtesy of course of the RAID: Shadow Legends™️ devs.


Conversations with my ex boss were exactly like this. It was 95% random things and 5% work on our weekly catch ups. I have a new boss now who is the most vanilla person ever but that doesn't stop me from going off tangent every time but now he's able to bring me back to the original topic. We have catchups every 2 weeks now but it feels like such a chore compared to the weekly ones with my ex boss.


I’ve felt personally attacked by every meme on this sub




"We are gathered here to remember u/tortoise888. In lieu of an epitaph, it was instead their wish to refer us to r/ADHDmeme. Here are the top posts of every day since their passing. An AI bot has been used to recreate their reactions. 'Wow, I feel atacked' 'Mood' 'When I funeral, show this at my die' 'One time, I spent twelve years without taking a food or bathroom break researching how planes how planes how planes how planes how planes how planes how planes how planes how planes how planes how planes how planes how planes how planes how planes.'" Edit: removed an s, added an s somewhere else


This is a quality joke, you should write skits.


How do I hire you to emcee my funeral?


DM me when you think you're about to die and I'll emcee your funeral if you're right


RemindMeRepeat! 1 Year "DM this user if I am expecting to die"


I will be messaging you in 1 year on [**2023-10-26 21:48:06 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2023-10-26%2021:48:06%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) [and then every](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1a9rt/remindmerepeat_info_post/) `1 Year` to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/adhdmeme/comments/yduq4l/all_of_my_friendships_are_based_off_this_and_only/itwtr2s/?context=3) [**CLICK THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fadhdmeme%2Fcomments%2Fyduq4l%2Fall_of_my_friendships_are_based_off_this_and_only%2Fitwtr2s%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202023-10-26%2021%3A48%3A06%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam. ^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%20yduq4l) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|


I didn’t realize the bot can be used to set a recurring reminder. That is so cool!


I love these conversations though.


Me too ... only downside is that as I get older I am not as good at eventually circling around to the original topic ... like, it's gone with the wind in my memory. Oh well, must not have been that interesting or important anyway! ETA changed "going with the wing" to "gone with the wind" WTH


Who cares! I still like these conversations even if it doesn't loop back!


My former roommate and I once passed by each other in the kitchen, one of us off-handedly said something, and then it turned into a 4 hour discussion about cool astronomy shit. These are indeed the best kinds of conversations.


I have a knack to making the memes that are too relatable to be funny anymore 😅


Oh yeah, that reminds me of when I made an off-topic joke comment on a post yesterday. The guy I responded to wrote a whole paragraph to declare they downvoted me and explain their reasoning for doing so. I felt attacked too.


Because this is something that literally everyone can relate to. Some people do it more than others, but everyone has conversations like this.


This reminds me of that time I made an AMAZING shot in gamepigeon minigolf, truly a time in the chronological history of humanity


Honestly Gamepigeon games go off, congratulations my friend.


Speaking of...


I want friends


Hi Friend


Oh i mean irl ones to do stuff with, we're all friends here to me😁


I once had an adhd girlfriend and finally someone who can keep up with the 15 conversations I have going on in my head. To bad she was also bipolar with bpd and abusive.


That’s quite the combo. Props for bailing on an abusive relationship.


Its ended badly. but I am ok now.


Eh.. this feels like pathologizing something normal. I feel that good conversation takes multiple changes of subject.


Yeah I don't get it. People that go on tangents are now called neurodivergent? Seems like a fancy way of saying you only listen to people talk so you can ignore what they say and talk about whatever you want to talk about instead.


As someone who got called out for talking this way by my neurotypical ex, I think what OP is actually referring to is a bit more specific than is being described. It's not about the lack of relation between topics (though that is a factor) so much as it's about the expected norms and how the back-and-forth is paced. The neurodivergent conversation being described here looks something like a game of tennis, with each person serving up random information/stories from their life. The other person takes in the information, thinks "oh that's interesting. I bet this person would find THIS interesting" and they return with a tangentially related mini-infodump. Both people get a bunch of information dumped into/out of their brain in a pretty time-efficient way, a great time is had by all. When you try to converse in this way with a neurotypical who isn't on that wavelength, it's like playing tennis with someone who is trying to build a sandcastle. You prepare a lovely infopacket full of stuff you think they'll like, and you serve it up, and they just say "Why are you always talking about yourself/your own interests? Why don't you care about the things I say?" because they do not interpret the "conversational tennis" in the same way. I hope I described that in a way that makes sense.


God learning to control that huge inner desire to speak about random shit I find interesting in the middle of conversations(or instead of saying hello), was so damn hard as a kid.


As an adult it’s: *ooo I wanna ask/talk about this, but it’ll detract from the current topic. Ok ok, don’t forget don’t forget don’t forget… shit what are we talking about, SHIT what did I wanna say?! Fuckkk it’s gone, where even are we now… sigh*


The main issue I have is "neurodivergent" is an awful word to use in this situation. Neurodivergent literally just means someone who thinks in a way that is different from the "normal way" that people think. It's an extremely vague term and doesn't ever really make sense because there's no such thing as a "normal" way of thinking. Everyone is unique and struggles/succeeds at different things. There's plenty of neurodivergent ways of thinking that could make long, complex conversations difficult to have. Social anxiety is a type of neurodivergence and could easily cause someone to not enjoy going on random tangents in conversations. It would be one thing if they just said "two people with ADHD" because it's at least a relatively common symptom of ADHD (however it's still not going to be true for everyone with ADHD). But just broadly saying that "neurodivergent" people all act the same in any way is just absurd. Neurodivergence isn't a condition, it's effectively just a way to say that someone thinks in a way that society does not accommodate. It doesn't describe any specific symptoms or behaviors.


Neurodivergency is a label that includes a lot of different conditions. Two of the most common conditions are autism and ADHD. Both of these conditions and a few others enjoy this communication style. Sometimes it is simpler to refer to things common in Autism, ADHD and some others, is to say neurodiverse in general. Plus I actually know at least a few people with high anxiety who like this style of communication because their speaking parts don't have to be long before they hand the conversation back to the person they are talking to.


I can’t stand the term neurodivergent either, but I have no better substitute lol


Funny this is me and most people just think I talk a lot.


> In children, ADHD often produces physical hyperactivity. In an adult, this symptom may present in a more psychological way, for example, by the person changing subjects abruptly in conversation, interrupting others, or frequently shifting from one task to another.


A normal change of subject: Person A: "I saw Chris the other day. He looks like he hasn't changed at all since high school." Person B: "Oh, that reminds me.Cause you know how Chris and I did drama club together... well, I decided to try out for a local theater production." Person A: "Oh, that's so cool! What play is it?" [The two continue to talk about said local theater production...] ___ What the OP is referring to: Person A: "I saw Chris the other day. He looks like he hasn't changed at all since high school." Person B: "I'm trying out for a local theater production. I hope to get the lead role, but I'm not optimistic. I'll take whatever part they offer. I'm trying to be more optimistic and open-minded lately." Person A: "Do you remember Chris? I was in some classes with him during senior year." Person B: "I was in drama club with Chris, hence why I mentioned the production. Have you done any local theater?" Person A: "No. I prefer video games. I usually play Minecraft. The Creepers are my favorite because they make it challenging." Person B: "If I don't get a leading role, I'll settle for an ensemble roll. Again, I'm trying to be more optimistic as of late."


Plus, it literally just says "two neurodivergent people" as if that somehow describes anything about the way they think. Neurodivergent is an extremely broad term that includes all sorts of ways of thinking, including many neurodivergent ways of thinking that could make it difficult for people to have long, complex conversations. Like it would be one thing if they just said "two people with ADHD". It's still not accurate to everyone with ADHD but at least a bit of truth to that behavior being more common among people with ADHD. But they just used the most broad term and essentially just implied that every single "neurotypical person" (even though that doesn't really mean anything) doesn't like to go on random tangents in conversations.


>In children, ADHD often produces physical hyperactivity. In an adult, this symptom may present in a more psychological way, for example, by the person changing subjects abruptly in conversation, interrupting others, or frequently shifting from one task to another.


>Eh.. this feels like pathologizing something normal. It feels like half the ADHD memes I see are like this.


There’s this one new collegue nobody got really along with, but i instantly clicked. Turns out, they constantly forget their strattera, and i forget my concerta.


what are. those?


Adhd meds


And then you Hard Stop and try and figure out the bizarre dialogue tree that started with apple harvesting and ending in discussing Werner Von Braun and the Blitz


Yesterday I was talking to a friend of mine and I started telling her about how my mom grounded me when a was a kid for throwing seeds in the sink drain, which led to me talking about how my dad used to take me to collect seeds off the ground in front of the bank he used to go to, which led to me telling her how my dad was friends with the security guard that worked on that bank, which led me to tell her that he used to let us walk into the back without passing through the metal detector, which led me to tell her how my dad would ask the security guard to tell me about the importance of wearing a seat belt to scare me, which led me to continue the story about how my mom grounded me which led me to tell her how my grandma got me out of my punishment, which led me to tell her that my grandma has Alzheimer's, which led me to realize I had monopolized a whole conversation and I decided to shut the fuck up.


With the right people, who don't mind listening to me but maybe are a little more nt, I just do a little intro. "Oh that reminds of something that actually has nothing to do with that but lemme tell you" or "I looked at that cup on the counter and it made me think of"


I know! Like, that actually made me think of...


If I were to be asked this randomly I would probably answer "Nah, I didn't", then I look at me and friends chat history filled with long, kinda over detailed, randomly changed topics. Maybe because we were close friends, but I always hate other chat where they just have a "simple" respond. TALK TO ME!!! (but not irl)


Oh yeah, that reminds me of the time I saw a 60 year old guy slide down one of those things and he was going so fast his bathing suit fell off, and I just stood there looking at his big beautiful hairy balls flopping around, holy geez I wanted to lick em'


Its not that ive been reminded of something, its that something you said 5 minutes ago kickstarted a conversation entirely within my own head completely independant to what we have been actually talking about and now i wish to discuss my brain conversation with you


>Its not that ive been reminded of something, its that something you said 5 minutes ago ...was important to me because I had a relevant anecdote, observation, of commentary and I'm *trying real hard* not to be rude and interrupt the organic flow of the conversation but I'm also worried we'll reach a point where my anecdote, observation, or commentary will no longer be relevant and I can kinda sense that we may beyond that point but maybe it isn't too far so I'm just going to go ahead and blurt it out at the nearest sign of a lull in conversation before we do indeed get *too far*... It's this or I stand there with a stupid look on my face that is my version of "politely listening" but also looks a lot like "grinning fool" and never say anything which makes people think I'm weird.


Actual order of conversation topics me and my grandpa went through in one conversation (we both have ADHD): 1. Halloween 2. Scary movies 3. Suspense 4. Plot twists 5. Dragons 6. Tumbleweed 7. National parks 8. Interstate system


The amount of times I have had to pause and ask "How did we get on this topic?" or having a "normal" conversation with some and say "Let me ask you a random question and after you answer I will explain what made me think of it" after they give me a weird look and answer my question I have to explain what seems like a massive leap in logic and how I got to thay subject.


Ahhhhhh... the best of friends


Is this even different? Most conversations are relating experiences with knowledge bases anyway


It s ALWAYS related Ok sometimes you need 45 minutes to get why it's related, but IT S RELATED


It's unrelated but it REMINDED of it. That's different things


This post reminded me how I tend to do that.




pretty sure thats just called a conversation


Thier not completely unrelated. My Brian just did twelve rounds of word association in the 5 second before I said anything.


But it’s not completely unrelated because the feeling or lesson that I’m remembering is the same as whatever the OG topic’s main idea is about, so my mind is connecting it/solidifying the information 😭


“Unrelated”? What? In my experience, ND people can actually see the threads of how diverse topics connect to one another and pick relevant topics, while NTs just change gears abruptly out of nowhere with no signals.


Bruh one neurodivergent person having a conversation is also this


And 75% is quotes from shows we've seen 1000000xs


My daugher does this when she doesn't want to answer a question. Actual conversation from last night: "No, you can't have TikTok. You know why right? It's full of weird people and peadophiles and you're giving all your data and messages and photos to China. You understand that, right?" "Leonardo Di'Caprio." She's 14.


It's a good point, leo would totally let her in TikTok and would even date her once she's legal


This is my normal and I have made it clear to all others in my group of friends that this is ok and feel free to jump from thing to thing as well.


Yeah that’s me and my cousin every time we hang out


Hey, it’s better than having to stay in one topic for a period of time! Especially if you know nothing about it!


Never realized how crazy the neurodivergent convo cadence was until the neurotypical friends pointed it out to us


BUT THAT IS COMPLETELY GORGEROUS!!!! So many random useless facts exchanged in a short moment!!! ​ Wait... how long of a short moment?


Apropos is in the eye of the beholder(s)…


I'm traveling cross country with my Chuchi and we haven't stopped talking for three days. At this rate, we will have no voices by the time we reach Colorado.


I thought this was just how conversation works :D


I feel like we should stop perpetuating the idea that the way we jump topics is totally random. We're good at finding links and patterns between topics, but there's generally a logical flow. It's stoners that make totally random jumps between topics with no logical connection


What about returning to a conversation long after the fact because you just thought of something to add?


Breadth first search vs depth first search


that reminds me of when—


It’s funny because it’s true


You mean family guy?


Holy fuck do our partners get confused when my childhood BFF and I talk simultaneously while still fully catching what the other one is saying, enough so that the conversation usually ends in a jinx situation and giggling. They'll be like, anyone else catch *any* of that?!


Lol. We drove to dinner and my son-in-law loudly said, "38!" when we arrived. That was the number of topics covered in the conversation I had with my daughter on the way.


That is hilarious! Amazed he could keep track. Every ND person needs an NT partner with a sense of humor


Omg - yes, I agree. I called mine my "rock". He kept me grounded, but let me do whatever I wanted. Oh, except that one time I was going to cut my own hair after drinking tequila...


Omg. I have enough trouble controlling my behavior, so I try to stay away from alcohol. Did he take pics? I call mine my “emotional support boy” because he’s 10 years younger than me. (He’s in his early 40s).


My bestie and I never finish a story bc we start 20 more.


Fucccckkkk...I just realized I based my career off of this tendency.


Wait, that's a neurodivergent thing?


This is why I’m always like: I hate meeting new people because all they want to do is ask me the same boring questions about my life. It also explains why when there’s an awkward silence with someone I just throw out rapid fire random information, changing topics every sentence to two and hoping they will find something they can latch onto. But when they don’t.... it’s like am I boring? Are they boring? Am I talking too much? Why won’t they talk? I thought I was the introvert here. But if I sit in silence for like a minute then they will finally either A. Start asking me boring and/or invasive questions about my life Or B. Finally start talking about their garden or something. Actually, preemptively throwing out random info is a great defense shield against ever being asked invasive questions you don’t want to answer. It’s like in class if you raise your hand for all the questions you know then you’ll never be called on to answer a question you don’t know. So if I provide the info about myself that I don’t mind sharing, then I won’t have to be evasive or lie when they always accidentally pick the wrong question in their attempts to connect with me. No I’m not telling you where I went to college or if I have kids or what I watch on Netflix but I will tell you a thing that happened on vacation when I was 15, there, now you know me.


And then we spend 5 minutes trying to circle back around & explain how it was related in our mind, with a couple side quests for further explanation


What do people even do in a friendship that isn’t like this. Why would you want anything other than this??


Had a convo with another adhd person. We spoke for 2 hours and were told to stop because our SOs wanted us back home. We said it was the most effortless conversation we had in yeeeeeears. Jumping topic to topic we got through so much at our rate of thinking. Sometimes you don't know how good it could be to talk to someone who thinks exactly like you.


My NT bf: are my stories not important? Me: no u idiot this is how I show love and understanding


Better than the alternative. How boring would it be of we stayed on one topic? I have had some really amazing insights because the conversation went all over the universe. It also teaches people to get to the point fast. You have 3-ish minutes to get where you want to go on one topic because after that we are on to the next!


this just popped up in my recommended, and idk if I have adhd but I thought it's normal to constantly say "btw" and change topics, or write about different topics at all? Like I always thought it waas my friend fault for not reading all of my messages or not answering all of them. I guess it does sound kinda weird


Couple that with the Midwest goodbye and you end up hanging out for 3 more hours than intended.


Ok so maybe it didn’t remind me of that, but it did remind me of this other thing, which reminded me of this other thing, reminding me of this meme I saw, reminding me of this video I saw, reminding me of the person who made the video, which reminded me of this other video they made, which reminded me of one of the jokes they made, which reminded me of this meme, which reminded me of Bo Burnham, which reminds me, what’s your favorite song from inside?


"unrelated" EDIT: Remember kids, just because the mundanes can't see it doesn't mean it's not there.


"Mundanes"? Dear god man


Adhd is a super power! Why do a single task well when you can do 5 tasks to 30% completion, and then completely forget about them? Though I wouldn't expect a mundane to understand, probably too busy "actively listening," and.....uh....yeah....what was I saying?


Also the fucking gossiping


I have ADHD, diagnosed and medicated and all. In fact it was long enough ago and I'm old enough that I was diagnosed with Asperger's at the same time. But half the shit in this subreddit just gives me "if everyone is neurodivergent then no one is" vibes. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if tomorrow I see a "does anyone else wear shoes? Us neurodivergent people are so wacky huh?" post.


“Alright imma go to bed fr now” —-> *continues conversation cause I just though of something that I need to say real quick* —-> *new conversation gets started off that* —-> “Alright imma go to bed fr now” —-> repeat until it’s way too late before heading to bed