By - mayayam2
tell her that your pay is being delayed or that you dont have much money in your account, come up with a excuse like that your bank accounts website is down and that you cant access your money or act like you were going through with it and it didnt work in the last minute.
Don’t send it, in fact if the logistics of your life allow you to… tell her you got fired or tell her no straight up depending on your relationship.
Whilst you’re saying no, understand that your mum was raised in a community oriented environment where everyone gives their all to the people around them and vice versa.
Your Hooyo is probably thinking ‘he’s a deadbeat but I can’t risk my nieces/nephews suffering bc of him’ basically, Somali community oriented thinking.
It’s a good thing in many ways but it’s important to know when it does and doesn’t serve you.
In this instance it doesn’t so issa no but having a compassionate and empathetic mindset whilst saying no is likely to benefit you and hooyo.
wallahi this is true somali parents wants ppl see them at good light rn im in SLand and i heard that we have another relatives but they wont meet us bcs we arent give them any money i mean i paid 1000€ to fly here to see them and this is how they treat us at this point i lost my hopes to my all family members
I legit don’t consider anyone I haven’t met my family members because I know how transactional Somali relatives are. My mom, my mom’s sisters, 5 of my mom’s friends and my grandma those are my blood imo. Everyone else I have no family ties too apart from blood relation.
Yeah, we even have random Somalis who call you and act like they are your apti or whatever and ask for charitable money. Not even related and they got your number through another grifter.
We need to stop this grifting. I donate to family I know and charities all the time. It just hits different when you don't know who you're supposed to donate to.
Make some reason that you are broke up.
Don’t send it to him. Just draw boundaries. Say no and if your parents keep bothering you, keep making excuses “my pay is late” “trouble with the bank” “I can’t trouble with work stuff”
If this random ass and your mother knows they can get money from you for a reason like this, they’ll never stop harassing you for money.
This is the answer, ofcourse OP be diplomatic, add on that you need the money for a car, books , gas money etc it's all bills they are necessity to survive. Shell back off
The young generation is carrying the burden. I think the sending money ends with you guys, once you grow older and parents die off, your ties with Somalia and sending money will fade away.
What kind of grown ass man asks a 17 year old for money?
Tbh I have not heard of a situation like this before. I guess I got lucky with my family bc if a male family member asked me or my siblings (who are early 20s/late teens) for money then he would be clowned endlessly by the whole family and my parents would laugh in his face.
It’s actually very common, we have to stand up to it.
that’s why my mom taught me to never share information with somali elders 😭 they’re always up in your business and for what ?
update: sorry guys i already sent it…
Get ready for more requests 💀
It’s okay, learning to set boundaries takes practise just like anything else in life. It’ll become easier to say no next time 💖✨
Only give money to women
Why did you send it? Ask your moms to make your brothers send it
i’m the oldest my brothers are in africa
Tell your mom it’s a sin to take money from young women
Don’t pay the relative, say you used the money on your credit card, lie about your income and say you make less then what you really make. Make up expenses to your family.