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hanatcu

Yep youre right, the things they say sometimes are just fucking insane walahi. my mom literally made my 8 year old sister cry in garowe because she wasnt wearing a jilbaab and that shit hurt me even as a guy


Numerous-Expert-2893

Damn 8 yrs old?!! Thats weird but unsurprisingly sad, somali moms drag that thing on girls as soon as they hit 5 years old. Id like to hear more of this story if you dont mind what did she do after?


hanatcu

yeah we were going to someones house and my mom already had a heated argument with her because my sister refused to wear a jilbaab because it was too long and hot she just wanted to wear a normal shorter hijab with an abaya so my mom made me stay with her to convince her and shit but i just let her go with me to the house like that. When we arrived my mom embarassed her in front of the guests for not wearing a jilbaab. Shit is fucking crazy


Numerous-Expert-2893

Poor girl :(


Top_Produce_6505

This shit is so true, i just cant understand why these woman should wear hijab,niqaab,jilbaab while we men are wearing shorts and tank tops i see these little girls also cover them up 🥺🥺. If we didnt focus so much on deen/qabiil we would've been better place


mastermanifestorsss

Fax! Deen needs to stay out of politics


kookoo4kool

Because we are Muslim and women in Islam should practice modesty. How can you even compare a boy and a girl dress attire like we are the same...


SHAAYDAN

I think it's a mixture of untreated trauma the mother has, and an unwillingness to want to end that cycle of abusive behavior. Mostly because it's something that's routinely praised by others in the community. And any effort to step out of what is seen as the norm is discouraged and will often leave the woman/man feeling hopeless. For example, I once knew this woman who I called aunty out of respect; she was mostly a family friend. The lady had two daughters and a son, but unfortunately, the son had autism. And so Living in the UK the lady (mother) had many options; when it came to the amount of support, she was able to afford her son. Instead, many other aunties got involved and told her to abandon those ideas and take her son back to Africa. With the father who had already separated from her living his new life in some middle eastern country. And the Somali mother not making any effort to sway from what she’s been raised to believe. She becomes more susceptible to the ongoing brainwashing in the community. And being a single mother with 3 kids she feels lonely and feeds off having like-minded people around her and it almost becomes a necessity. She will raise her kids like that, and the cycle would probably continue. With that, critical thinking is almost non-existent. And depending on how deep the "fobbness" is the worse it gets. I just feel like they take the supposed gendered roles way too seriously. And so the mother always feels like she must coddle her sons, instead of being firm. As she's been led to believe that's the role for a man to take. It’s no wonder you see a lot of Somali guys who have been raised this way. Can be emotionally fragile and adopt misogynistic traits. And girls who become just like their mothers are judgmental, narrow-minded, and toxic. As the actions of the mother over time have been normalized internally. And if unchecked that behavior is learned and observed by her future children.


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Throwaway546som

in which world are you living in where somali women dont marry, we arent unwanted


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urannoyingmee

I agree with what you said but where I live, most Somali men Inc the ones in their late 20s and up are barely married. It isn’t an exclusive trait to the women. I know this bc I’m active in the Somali community and well acquainted with both males and females. People are marrying much later in the West because of the costs etc rising. Also many of us are secretly living with ‘haram’ girlfriends and boyfriends, the same way cadaans do. It’s really common but very secretive. I know this bc I was living with my boyfriend before we got married and it wasn’t a big secret for me. Sooooooo many Somali guys and girls told me they also were but begged me not to tell anyone. Also, i’s not common for millennial diaspora men to go back home and marry young girls. That’s more of an aabo thing to do.


kookoo4kool

This is completely wrong because you clearly don’t understand men as a whole. All men prefer younger women ages 18-24. They actually even did a study and all men ages 18-65 preferred women between the ages of 18-24. Which makes sense since biologically men are attracted to younger women for fertility and youth(sign of fertility). I even argue that it would be lower if not for societal norms that didn’t exist in the early 1900’s and before. Don’t get angry with me just scientifical facts proven with data. Next, I argue that woman in the west won’t go to Somalia for a man because it would actually be a downgrade. They would marry a man with no money, education, or that speak English. Woman look for providers and protectors that offer security. That’s why rich and famous men have always gotten women. Don’t believe it check the VIP section in your local club. Next 40% of men have procreated since the beginning of time using DNA analysis while 99% of women have procreated. Hence showing that women procreate with the best and men strive for the best for more women. Which brings me to another biological fact. Women want quality, men want quantity. Examples Hugh Hefner, drake, Dan blizerian, any rap video with women of all shapes and sizes shaking their tail. which comes to my conclusion, women stop trying to change men. You want us to except you but you want to change us. Except us for who we are. This stuff about patriarchy and misogyny will only push us further away from you and cause more issues where we go to Africa to get married. Men who are worth a damn don’t care about your job, education, or money. It doesn’t attract us. The west teaches you how bad men are and when you say stuff like misogyny or patriarchy it turns almost ALL men off. If you don’t like the truth don’t blame the player, hate the game. There’s a reason why Allah SWT said we can have 4 wives and not you have 4 husbands.


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mastermanifestorsss

When you see other elder Somali women do you feel automatically judged? Coz I do 😳


647382828929477382

yes when i see older pictures i just cry tbh because ik some of them werent all like they were now but i guess trauma changes you with age


Warsame-san

both somali men and women are retarded ones idiocy cannot live without the other


Citylights58

They should go to habsi for that or at least have the children removed. Start calling Child Protective Services on them when you see that. Translate what they are saying to the CPS and police. No one is above the law. Our parents didn't have laws to protect them so some of them accepted the abuse and considered it normal, possibly to cope. They are aware of the law and they should be made aware of the damaging effects of abuse on children. If despite knowing both they continue with this behaviour, they should be held accountable by the law. They are cancerous to their children and they're why Somali kids end up never reaching their potential. They shouldn't have children, period.