Shoutout to this pamphlet for giving me a new summer to do list ❤️‍🔥

Shoutout to this pamphlet for giving me a new summer to do list ❤️‍🔥


## ✨ READ BEFORE COMMENTING ✨ This thread is Coven Only. This means the discussion is being actively moderated, and all comments are reviewed. **Only comments by members of the community are allowed.** If you have landed in this thread from /r/all and you are not a member of this community, your comment will very likely be removed (and will not be approved unless it adds meaningfully to the conversation). WitchesVsPatriarchy takes these measures to stay true to our goal of being a woman-centered sub with a witchy twist, aimed at healing, supporting, and uplifting one another through humor and magic. Thank you for understanding, and blessed be. ✨


Coming from a very fundamentalist background, I can personally attest to the fact that vegetarianism is very much viewed as a gateway to satan. I’m not sure how or why, but it is.


This is the one which boggled my mind the most


The argument I was given was that “humans were created to be dominant over all animals, and refusing to eat them is defying god’s natural order”. Never mind that there are specific instances in the Bible where god explicitly tells certain people to only eat plants, and a verse specifically condemning people who judge others for their dietary choices.


Weirdly, in my fundamentalist upbringing the exact opposite was true. If you ate meat you were somehow less ‘godly’. Nothing to do with respect for animals, it’s because apparently god thinks they’re dirty. Nice to see another fundamentalist survivor!


Did you also grow up in SDA?


It’s still surprising to me, looking back on my history within the SDA church, how cult like it all is/was.


I’ve started talking about it as “cult adjacent”. It doesn’t meet all the qualifications, but it sure is trying!


Grew up going to a weird SDA church an hour from me most summers when my grandma would visit. What a terrible uncomfortable experience. I felt like I was the only one there who was not brainwashed. Felt like at any moment they’d unzip their human suits and reveal whatever was underneath. So glad to be away from that.


It’s a very weird, deeply damaging group. We left when I was in my early teens but had done the whole shebang: Adventist school, mom worked for the church AND the conference, dad was an elder, and then obviously church on Sabbath. I’ve had all kinds of religious trauma that I’ve worked through and my sister, who was quite little when we left and mostly grew up in the Methodist church, remembers none of it but often wonders aloud why I’m so against organized religion (lucky her though, to be honest)


Wow I wasn’t that involved. I suppose because there wasn’t an SDA church close when I was a kid. My mom was trying hard at the time to get her mother to love her which I think motivated her to make us go. I also got sent to baptist VBS. Glad you guys are out and can choose for yourself!


I did! I love how you picked the ex SDA vibes up that quickly haha.


Ha, like must recognize like! As much as I don’t miss the SDA church, I do sometimes miss the food. Swiss Stake, FriChik, lentil loaf, etc, but I don’t want to go to an ABC store to get them so I guess I don’t want them that badly! But yes, when we were members we occasionally ate chicken on the sly and we definitely weren’t supposed to talk about it.


I’ll always miss haystacks, never the church haha. Unfortunately I went to a SDA college and you’d be side-eyed if you drank coffee. Much older men from the church hanging around the women’s dorm rooms was absolutely fine though. 🙄


As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I was taught that God created animals for us to eat as long as we didn't waste any of them, e.g. hunting for sport instead of food.


My grandma told me once I’d go to hell if I ate giraffe meat. I wasnt sure why I needed that warning, but the advice has stuck with me for decades.


That's funny to me because it made me remember when giraffe meat was declared kosher. It just seemed a random animal to declare edible in 2008.


Isn't it wonderful that when you're no longer part of a cult, there's no more arbitrary dietary/underwear restrictions?


Lol at underwear restrictions. Damn, people are weird.


It was in the news recently. Mormon women complaining about how the underwear the church requires them to use causes health issues. >Damn, people are weird. I thought the same, which is why I made a post in r/atheism about it. Just seems a bit mind-boggling.


I'm with you. I just forgot it was a thing :D


Weird, since God liked it when Abel sacrificed animal flesh in comparison to Cain sacrificing crops


That makes more sense. I always it thought it was like "only liberals are vegetarians so it's closer to satanism". Still bat shit crazy though.


There's probably a whole lot of that undertone with fundamentalist evangelicals. They definitely equate liberalism with satanic, blood-drinking, rabid haters of the nuclear family, law, and religious freedom. Batshit indeed, lol


You can also counter this argument with Daniel. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego ate vegetables and water and were healthier than the rest of Nebuchadnezzar's court. They probably wouldn't like that either though.


It makes less than zero sense. The two oldest churches of Christianity practice routine lent (vegetarianish for catholics, pretty much vegan for orthodox). Literally THE only church until Protestantism. I can’t fucking stands christians who don’t even pay attention to their own religion and act like their particular sect is obviously right and all the others, inclusing the one their sect derivated from is wrong.


More than remote viewing?


What is that? I guess I'm not in on the Satan crowd as much as I once was. Kids these days.


I have no clues. I’d look it up on Urban Dictionary, but that website has left too many scars already.


The one and only Wiki wizard says: "Remote viewing (RV) is the practice of seeking impressions about a distant or unseen target, purportedly "sensing" with the mind."


Oh. So kinda like astral projection. Thanks.


Have you watched the movie "The Men Who Stare at Goats"? It's based on a non fiction journalist's investigation of a US military unit that were 'psychic warriors' who tried to use remote viewing to spy and kill enemies. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Men_Who_Stare_at_Goats


Thanks. I’ll read up. This wasn’t on my radar.


Thanks for looking it up! I guessed it wasn’t “have a zoom meeting“ but couldn’t figure what else it could be


LOTR boggled my mind because Tolkien was Christian.


I know Fundy people who won't let their kids read "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe." Its a literally allegory of the story of Christ.


Witches are evil to them. All magic is evil. I wasn't allowed to watch The Smurfs or Carebears growing up because they had magic.


Imo it's surely because vegan/vegetarian spaces are highly composed of left leaning people.


Good guess but nope. It has more to do with them seeing animals as being put on the Earth by god as food for humans. Being eaten or serving humans is their entire purpose.


That's not too strange for me. To older generations, vegetarianism is only something hippies did, and hippies were evil. The weirdest one for me was post-modernism!


When I became a werewolf I definitely got closer to Satan


You too??


I’m pulling this outta my ass, but maybe because Cain killed Abel for being God’s favorite. Because, when offering sacrifices, Abel brought that sweet flesh, hot blood and smoky goodness goodness, while Cain only brought the first fruits of the field. Totally parallels how vegetarians will *probably* hit you over the head with a rock and leave you for dead for being best buds with the Lord. But don’t worry, God will cast them out. Please read with with… not sarcasm, per say… just know I’m messing around and don’t actually subscribe to any of this as a belief system.


Veggie tales is so Christian though is it all a lie? Do they serve the dark one!?!


Oh wheeeeeere is my Dark Lord Oh wheeeeeere is my Dark Lord Oh where oh where oh where oh where oh wheeeeeeeere


I just cackled so very very hard, and sang along in my head


I’ve grown and stepped away from my cultish upbringing, I’m even in therapy to unlearn a lot of indoctrination, but damn veggie tale still slaps.


I think Yoga, vegetarianism, and earth worship, are pretty tame, healthy past times, who knew they are frowned upon by some religions?


"I don't like hurting other living beings it makes me sad :(" "THE DEVIL HAS WROUGHT IN YOUR SOUL!!!!" and my mother wonders why I quit the christian church at a young age 😂


"I eat veggies and meat" :) "I eat just veggies, no meat at all" >:(


This ones a riot to me, because I was raised in a otherwise pretty typical conservative (no dancing drinking or other forms of good times) [denomination](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seventh-day_Adventist_Church) that practiced vegetarianism. On the other hand, it was founded by a *female prophet* so maybe we were a little more odd than I realized at the time.


Because these people are 100% a product of modern culture wars and vegetarianism has been a marker in that culture war. It is the same reason so many people try to provoke vegetarians or make jokes about them. It has gone somewhat out of fashion, but these people are definitionally behind the times. Vegetarianism is popular among some non-western religions. Probably, the biggest issues is that vegetarianism is popular among cosmopolitans and especially feminist women. Shock!


Now I want to do all of them, except Scientology. Funny how pedophilia isn't on here. Curious.


Accidentally on purpose!


They left off [masterbation](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/masturbate) (it’s not the same as [fornication). ](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fornication) Guess ringing the devils doorbell is acceptable again!


Ring ring, bananaphone!


Scientology is probably the only legit evil one on there, at least if Skull & Bones is referring to the video game and not the secret society


I assumed it was just the aesthetic of using them on your clothes. Whoever wrote this doesn't seem overly knowledgeable.


I would have never guessed


That's what I was assuming as well, that it was a poorly-phrased reference to using them as motifs in dress/decor/etc. Buut the fact remains that that's not what the flyer *actually* says, so I initially just ended up internally cackling at the thought of *my very own skull and bones* being demonic portals. Kinda need to "take part" in those. They're helping me hold myself together. Literally 💀


I'm 'meh' to the Twilight films. I had to listen to my ex wife's audiobook version of them on drives. That was demonic enough.


Ah yeah, they forgot that one. That must explain why everyone picked it as their vice.


Postmodernism lmao this list is wild


If this were written in 2021, postmodernism would be replaced with critical race theory 😔


This one got me too!😂


I’m dying 😂


Ah yes, the full spectrum from Necromancy, to Lord of the Rings, to Fornication.


To the most heinous and evil of ALL SINS: REMOTE VIEWING


No drones for you!


I think they mean something like astral projection, but my first thought was screen-sharing...


Yeah, astral projection is what they meant, but in our modern age it can mean a lot more.


Which is even better because astral projection is also on this list.


I have so many questions. I can’t be a vegetarian, but I also can’t rip the throat out of innocents with my fangs under the full moon. So few options.


I know right? So disappointing!


Id say smoke some "marihuana" but apparently you can't do that either.


Go watch the lord of the rings trilo... never mind


There's always the hobbit or porn, they're not listed 😆😆😆


Omg the actually forgot porn this is amazing.


All I can hear reading that word spelt like that is MarrriHHHHwAnAH LOL


There’s marijuana instead . I know. I know. … not the same thing.


Maybe "try it out" and eat one meal without meat? Then you can say you tried it. Vegetarianism. Not Lycanthropy. I'm really not sure how to do that one without getting bitten first. Does anyone know any actual lycans that could help with this?


There’s actually a medical lycanthropy diagnosis. You could look into that and give it a shot. It’s more of a state of mind than actually growing fangs but it still sounds like it’d tick the box.


Hi haunt a blood bank maybe Wait outside a butcher shop


I got 30 points! Not too shabby!


They didn’t cover doom metal or industrial, so I think I’m in the clear.


Nor death and thrash! Yessss!


I only got 13 but I'm thinking of taking up necromancy as a hobby


I recommend raising a family, best way to do it really


It's like a mix of adoption and recycling.


Damn. I only got 12.5. To be fair, there were a few I either didn't know or understand the context.


I’ve got 20, but I know I can succeed if I put my mind to it!


14, but I am very committed to those, so I am very satisfied.


I only have 11. Time to knock this shit into twelfth gear


Didn't some of these fools get sued by Tolkien's estate for implying that Tolkien, one of the most Christian people ever, was somehow a satanist? I feel like I read that someplace.


This is a pamphlet from comic con! Tolkien’s estate has only really sued over distribution rights but you might be thinking of the whole clusterfuck where fundamentalists tried to get Harry Potter banned.


My favorite was a tract that said that Narnia was satanic because there was magic. It’s not like CS Lewis was a famous Christian apologist.


It’s not like the entirety of those books aren’t thinly veiled (can it still be thin if it’s basically Saran wrapped?) Jesus.


>(can it still be thin if it’s basically Saran wrapped?) Heh, misread Saran as Satan. My phone Autocorrected it to Satan too!


I love how there's a Bible passage cited in the bottom I'm just imagining the Bible saying: "and then god said thou shalt not go to cybergoth raids for they are of the enemy' and it's hilarious


“Thou shalt not watch Lord of the Rings, no matter how hot you think Legolas is.”


I totally read that in Chris Rock’s voice from when he played the 13th apostle in Dogma…


I was curious, so I looked them up. Very boring, lol. In case anyone is curious but a little lazy: Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Deuteronomy 18:9-12 When you enter the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable ways of the nations there. Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord; because of these same detestable practices the Lord your God will drive out those nations before you.


Yeah, I'm kind of into religious texts of all kinds and when they used that first one I was all..uh oh! That is *certainly* not the best choice for what they are trying to claim here. Shit, that could be a slogan for antifa, or to promote union work, or to unite feminists or potheads or just general protests! It reads very antidisestablishmentarianism! The second one: yeah, probably not cool to kill, burn and disembowel your kids, just sayin.


What is transubstantiation if not necromancy? These are the kinds of questions that got me kicked out of cataclysm or what ever the Catholics called religious education.


It is always worthwhile to check it. It is often just something about not steeling, so and so was a prostitute but now they aren’t, or don’t be mean. They have creative interpretations, even the one who claim they only follow literal interpretations.


Also, don't Christians meditate while praying. How is meditation "evil?" Not that I get much of christianity, but what really?


OK so my dad says it's because you clear your mind and that makes it so can demons get in and possess you.


The way my mind spins most of the time? Haha, get in motha-truckers, we ride at dawn.


Demons taking over. *5 minutes later* Demons getting the fuck out of my brain, exhausted from anxiety, big mental load, impostor syndrome, phobias, malaise and intrusive cringe memories.


Demons are trying to get me to buy this LOTR box set at Marshall’s, halpppp


I mean, Christianity is also an Eastern Religion so they are kind of shooting themselves in the foot.


> shooting themselves in the foot when *don't* they


They refuse to call it meditation. It was called “quiet time” at my baptist church growing up. So when a boyfriend tried to teach me about meditating I was like wait I’m already really good at this, wtf


What the hell is back-masking?




Goes back to the satanic panic of the 70s with backward messages on LPs. Look it up. It’s a good time.


Thanks. I totally thought it was a skin treatment.


It’s where you play a recording backwards and hear a hidden message. I guess this means I’m listening to a lot of the Beatles this summer lmao


Paul is dead!


Levitation. We're not even allowed to levitate. Next I wont be allowed to walk on water or raise the dead.


Well they covered necromancy so they got you on that one already.


Light as a feather, stiff as a board...


Take away Halloween and I will stab someone in the eye. I decorate September first every year.


Do you mean Pre-October first?


I leave a few Halloween decorations up year round. Also my Halloween socks are worn anytime. Gotta keep the Halloween spirit alive year round!


"Skull & Bones" I mean, we're all made of skull and bones, so I guess we're all technically part of Satan's Spiritual Structure for just existing lmao


Skull & Bones is a secret society at Yale. George W Bush joined it.


Oh, I didn't know that lmao. I'm too young to know jackshit about GWB


It's a pretty random thing to be against.


Some people think it’s like an Illuminati-type thing instead of a bunch of privileged douchebags boofing bud lite and jerking each other off.


And don't forget desecrating people's remains!


Sounds evil, add it to the list!


A lot of politicians and old money people were?


This feels weirdly comforting


There's no masturbation on here, were they worried that was too vulgar to say?


Maybe that’s what they think remote viewing is


Is it Trilateralism if I use three fingers?


Uhh I'll have a Cyberpunk culture with Church of satan and a side of Fornication. Can I get a Astral-projection with no ice too please.


I'm going to trip and read Harry Potter. Watch out Christians!


I'm gonna get a LSD and Raves combo.


A classic really. Might I suggest a sprinkling of Earth worship?


Lol wait I can’t play Dungeons and Dragons? I don’t understand the kind of person who is aware enough of nerd culture to know what dungeons and dragons is, but not aware enough of what it actually is to know that’s it’s literally just nerds combining math and make believe hahaha


I actually listened to a Focus On The Family (I think) radio drama about a kid who got possessed by playing role play games with his friends. (One of those this that’s like a play but only voices, did I get the name right?) The point was that by doing role play and pretending to be anyone or anything other than yourself is an invitation for the devil to take over your body and soul. I remember being scared that it could happen so easily. Like if playing a game will destroy my soul, was there anything that wouldn’t?


Here in Italy it's connected to some Satanist groups. In the '70 near Torino there were some of these groups and it's certain they killed a young lady (I seem to remember it was around 20yo but I' m not sure), as, apparently, a human sacrifice. From that moment on any group of people that gathered and did anything that was just not clearly comprehensible to the mass of Christians (and to anyone with a closed mind in general), was considered dangerous...


According to some religious people, D&D promotes satanism, witchcraft and murder. It would be no surprise if I told you the game got demonized a lot during the satanic panic. A few bad apples who also happened to play D&D murdered some people? Definitely because of that fantasy RPG! At least according to the media at the time.


Christians are well versed in make believe; it’s the math that throws them 😉


Maybe it’s the dice that throws them off. Like maybe they think d&d is nerds who somehow figured out how to gamble in the guise of collective imagination …Wait …that’s all d&d is, imaginative pretend gambling surrounded by a story I gotta text my DM these high thoughts




BINGO!!! I got a bingo, guys. What do I win?


Satanism, you won satanism. Hell and Brimstone baby! 👹💥🔥🔥🎉🎊




The best prize of them all.


They misspelled marijuana in that pamphlet...


Hhhwhat is that? Mari-hhhhuana?


Well let me put it this way 🎶who can take a sunrise, sprinkle it with dew, Cover it with kief and a miracle or two, oh Mary Jane can, cause she mixes it with love and makes the world feel good, who can take a rainbow, wrap it up tight, smoke it in the sun and have a groovy night, Mary Jane can, cause she mixes it with love and makes the world feel good 🎶


Also anyone who calls it a "pot party" definitely does not know how to party. No way I'm going to one of those.




It pairs well with “fomication”


So.. I looked up the only thing I didn’t recognize: trilateralism. I found an article from the Washington post that says it’s an organization of very powerful people and says that the trilateral commission claim “it is merely a ‘discussion group’ on world affairs, composed of high-level corporate and public-policy types from North America, Western Europe and Japan. The commission seeks only to promote international cooperation, for the betterment of everybody. Nothing sinister.” Is it just me.. or does this sound kind of weird.. I swear I don’t know anything about this, so excuse my ignorance.. but.. wtf...


If you look at Wikipedia, you may get some more context: In his 1980 book With No Apologies, Republican Senator Barry Goldwater suggested that the discussion group was "a skillful, coordinated effort to seize control and consolidate the four centers of power: political, monetary, intellectual, and ecclesiastical... [in] the creation of a worldwide economic power superior to the political governments of the nation-states involved."[22] Right-wing groups such as the John Birch Society and conspiracy theorists such as Alex Jones have also promulgated this idea.[23] Conspiracy theories Some conspiracy theorists believe the organization to be a central plotter of a world government or synarchy. As documented by journalist Jonathan Kay, Luke Rudkowski interrupted a lecture by former Trilateral Commission director Zbigniew Brzezinski in April 2007 and accused the organization and a few others of having orchestrated the 9/11 attacks to initiate a new world order.[24]


Don't do anything that expresses my individuality, got it


Bruh, LOTR?


I can cross off quite a few things on this list, and still a demon hasn't possessed me yet. Is it me? Am I not good enough to get possessed?


I'm sure you're more than good enough. Demons should be so lucky! And hey, maybe your demon is just along for the ride.


>Thank you! I hope there is demon inhabiting me, perhaps we can work together to open the gates of hell. I think I'll read Lord of the Rings again, and play more video games, or have some pot parties. I don't know about Twilight though, I don't think I'm that hardcore.


Well there goes my Saturdays.


The only one I agree to not get involved with is scientology, it's a fucking cult that bullied it's way into tax exemption status, and keeps huge logs of its members personal information and history to blackmail them with.


Is this like a pick one from each column kind of deal? I want to join Illuminati groups while fire walking at burning man!




Remote viewing? What?


No Buffy?


> Scientology Even a broken clock blah blah blah


Remote viewing? Like for meetings? The thing I've been doing for 16 months for work at this point?


Zoom is the portal to hell.


You might be living as a shell of yourself after losing your soul to Microsoft Teams--oh wait, that's just the normal result of a 9-5. XD


“Earth worship” what do these mfs think about earth day


Remote viewing, Vegetarianism & Twilight films lmao!!!


I love they spell Ecstasy like the band XTC. I was like what they hell did they do to you?


The random order is what kills me. Vegetarianism, lycanthropy, postmodernism


They're right about scientology


I mean, lycanthropy isn’t a choice… but spelling marijuana with its bizarro 1930s spelling sure as hell is.


These are a few of my faavorite thiinngss \~🎵


I'm in


Necromancy.. funny coming from what I assume was a Christian considering their fear of Satan.


"Eastern religions" All us indians on this sub be like 👀😈




I skipped Sunday School pretty much altogether, but my inner skeptic has a hard time believing that cyberpunk was covered in Deuteronomy.


What are alt “comix”? Alternative comic books? Why the quotes?


Back in the day Alt Comix meant hand drawn porn, which makes me wonder why porn isn’t on this list.


Fun fact: in the early church there was such a schism whether or not early christians should be vegetarian or not, or if it were ok to eat the burnt offerings to *OTHER* gods, that Paul of Tarsus had to write a whole damned letter telling them to calm the hell down. (Romans 14)




Is everyone just skipping over "levitation"? I didn't know that participating in levitation was an option I had until now.


Yeah, I used to just float around from place to place until I found out that only Jesus should be doing that. Now I just teleport.


Sweet, apparently heroin isn't a gateway to hell. Looks like I'm taking up a new hobby


Huh. Does this list mean Postmodernism as in Postmodern art? I guess recent art eras are satanic to whoever compiled this list... Hold up, is this from a Chick Tract????


I just love how this list includes meditation when the Bible literally says to meditate on its contents.


I like that they've written "LSD/shrooms" as if the two are interchangeable.


I’m going to do a quick stretch … crap, accidentally yoga’d. Going to hell, I guess.


Tomorrow my plans were literally necromancy at a marihuana & pot party. It’s wayyy to late to cancel too… 🤷‍♀️


OOH! Is this a syllabus?