T O P

They're trying to help you preserve battery life.

They're trying to help you preserve battery life.

MiddleBodyInjury

As your car turns off the nearest exit to help you decide on buying the iPhone 42


gaviidae

Oops. Did you just try to turn off a Google exit? Apple has created it's own exits and you can now only use those unless you jailbreak your car.


Greedy_Elk9585

Did you jailbreak your car? Oops, the airbags don't function anymore!


LordDongler

"Oh, you enabled airbags? You no longer have access to apple proprietary gear shifting patterns. Not our fault that there's no legacy manual shift in our cars"


DecapitatedChildren

A manual in a driverless car would be confusing


Coachcrog

Nah, Apple would find a loophole to claim a copy write on the manual transmission, refuse others wanting to pay for permission to use it. Effectively forcing you to buy their car if you want something in manual.


Ravens_Quote

They could try but it'd be the one lawsuit they'd lose. The courts can say what they want but it's the pissed off mechanics they'll have to reckon with.


ShadowSpawn666

Isn't automatic in a driverless car technically manual since the car is the driver as well?


Ironside_87

Neither do the breaks. Car enters "suicide" mode.


iremovebrains

Your card was declined. You have 48 hours to update your payment info or your breaks will be shut off.


c0nstant

Brakes


lazlowoodbine

No Breaks, Apple renamed them as part of their patented vehicle stopping system.


RebelJustforClicks

The iStop


sdrowkcabdelleps

The icar 2, brakes are sold separately


Varron

Stopping Assistant Devices


NotADamsel

CoreDeceleration


bacon-of-doom

iBreaks


UncatchableCreatures

Price to repair your car? try double or triple what a normal mechanic would charge, and it has to be at a certified Apple repair shop. Oh and everything requires a special tool, so goodluck changing a part yourself.


betcher73

Do you think you’ll even be able to open the hood? You won’t even know what parts are in the car.


DweEbLez0

We have detected you are using Google Maps instead of Apple Maps. You are in violation of road safety and a ticket will be issued onto your Apple account for $500. Pay now with Apple Pay!


Nazi_Marxist

I didn't try to turn off on any exit. It's a self driving car, I'm sitting in the back with a spliff


Poormidlifechoices

We android users drive by in our horse and buggy we just modded to Amish 4.0


offtheclip

But seriously though if self driving cars picks up I hope you can get conversation kits to drive your old car for you.


greybeard_arr

>conversation kits This is how we get Knight Rider. Anyone selling an ‘82 Trans Am?


joeysprezza

A.. Kit-kit?


MapleGleam

Just avoid buying a kit K.A.R.R.


offtheclip

Hey man it'll definitely get people to start asking questions


thebaldguy76

I guarentee that if self driving cars become a super common thing some company will get the license to make Kitt with my luck I will end up with KARR


EnMeed

Unless you really like your old car this doesn’t seem cost effective. Driverless cars use I estimate 60 kajillion sensors around the entire car to see and sense surroundings and all that. On top of adding it to the accelerator and steering and brake etc. Also I think fully electric and driverless should be coming together, a driverless petrol vehicle would be wack


Poormidlifechoices

>I estimate 60 kajillion sensors around the entire car to see and sense surroundings and all that. On top of adding it to the accelerator and steering and brake etc. Chances are some Australian redneck is already doing it as we speak.


gaysyndrome

that’s the dream


Miraster

Hey, atleast these slick airbuds that totally don't record every single word you speak and hear come free with them!


Maracuja_Sagrado

Don’t forget that you need to recharge the batteries on your car, but Apple’s car is the only one which can’t charge on the universal charging “gas” stations like every other car, and the nearest Apple only iCharger “gas” station is a few miles too far away from the remaining mileage in your “iTank”


RogerDeanVenture

Commercials are now literal drive bys of stores. The car will automatically divert you to the nearest Starbucks drive through and say, “wow, can you believe this was only a 12 minute detour?’ Next time, we can have your coffee waiting for you if you order ahead with an automatic retina scan.” For $109.99/month you can disable detour ads.


theGarbagemen

Stop, this seems too real.


DrawnbyHigHeisler

r/aboringdystopia cracked their knuckles and took a huge swig of fair trade coffee when they hit this thread. I'm loving it. they are correct.


MelodicOrder2704

"Suicide mode engaged"


ExceedinglyWolfGay

This hurts


mah131

Also you have to pay a genius to plug it in.


PgUpPT

And the connector breaks after 2 months of use.


crspooner

And don't even think about using a more durable and clearly better designed after-market connector.... Because only apple certified connectors will truly be able to be trusted to safely charge your clearly best in class battery that's totally guaranteed to not be throttled... Or shitty to begin with.


Dark4ce

Also Apple tires that are $6000. Each.


crspooner

Guaranteed for 50,000 miles or 9 months; whichever comes first.


Socialimbad1991

But they have rounded edges ;)


hyrulepirate

*Courage intensifies*


SkollFenrirson

"genius"


sp4mm41l

All those abandoned Apple cars on the side of the road with the occupants unable to get out so starved to death.


themasterperson

Doors that open is an upgrade.


icancheckyourhead

iGas


crspooner

And let's not forget that the $$$$ price tag will be for the 32KWh car and if you want the 64KWh car you'll have to cough up $$$$$$. Then 6 months later will be when the "new" model comes out; offering 128KWh and 512KWh versions for even more redonkulous dollars. Because they totally didn't have the tech for these versions to begin with... 6 months ago.


msg45f

Sorry, we cannot direct you to "The Hospital" due to a problem with your iMaps subscription. Redirecting you to a nearby iCar cafe. Due to a subscription problem, we cannot access your iTunes library. Please enjoy listening to the free U2 album on repeat.


Nuggzulla

That sounds like hell lol


nrt8738

The real catch is they only play free U2 albums


spacecakes78

Bono the complete turd, brought to you by Jobs the complete dickhole.


RedDirtSK

2032 I'll be happy with the ones that don't record my thoughts


nine_legged_stool

Just like Westworld! Oh boy!


Creative-Position

Sounds a bit like the movie, I Robot.


mindless_gibberish

AppleCar has detected that one of your proprietary AppleTires is losing air. Please contact a certified AppleCar technition.


FlyingDragoon

Spotify? Sorry, this thing only plays apple radio and iTunes.


Qimmosabe_Man

Every time I read about fully autonomous cars, I think back to what Jeremy Clarkson said on Top Gear news segment about Google's autonomobile. Something along the lines of: "I love the idea of the sort of laser-guided radar-guided vehicles. Now, the problem with this is... You know that this was designed by a brilliant man, but one day it's going to be bought by a man called Keith. And Keith is going to wake up one day and think he can service it himself. So, you won't be able to sit back and relax in your autonomobile, because you'll keep thinking 'I know there's a man called Keith, who's watching the Eastenders and reading the Daily Telegraph is coming the other way', and there's just going to be a horrible accident"


DuctusExemplo71

I more like his segment about driverless cars deciding to kill you. Something like. “If some kids appear in front of you car, your car will have to make the decision between those kids or you going into a tree” Edit: many of you seem to think this is my personal viewpoint. I was just pointing out the segment because it was a funny segment. I have no opinion either way because I would rather drive than be driven.


adam3jazz

What I find funny about this moral dilemma is that it applies just as well to real people, and unlike a computer we humans can’t make educated decisions based on all factors at play.


MorgulValar

The point of the dilemma is that your car shouldn’t get to choose to put you in harm’s way, not even to save a kid. You choosing to risk your own safety is completely different


adam3jazz

The point I’m trying to make is that sure, risking your own life is your decision, but in a split second scenario without any training or experience on the matter most people will just act automatically and not be conscious of their decision, unlike a computer which can actually “think things through” and pick the “best” option, whatever that may be.


MorgulValar

I understand your point. Mine is that the computer being able to rapidly weigh everything doesn’t make its decision better. It just makes it more logical. Whether or not you put your life at risk should take into account more than just logic


jay-kee

Enter, 'The Trolley Problem'


NopeNeg

If the car speeds up enough, it can kill the child and the person in the car


AimeNikor

I always find this situation to be a little far-fetched. I get that it’s an interesting moral dilemma but in a free market it doesn’t make sense. If I have a choice between purchasing two driverless cars. One does everything in its ability to protect the occupant, above all else. The other makes somewhat questionable moral decisions on the fly that may protect others while killing the occupant. I’m obviously buying the one that will protect me. The market will agree. There is no market for driverless cars that prioritize others over its owner. The only way we get there is with government regulation.


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moondancer224

This whole conversation thread is reminding me of Upload on Amazon Prime. Self driving cars are a minor plot point, and can be set to "Prioritize occupant" or "Prioritize Pedestrian" by the user. Though, its not the focus of the show, so we don't see a lot of it, it is interesting.


Jonesy343

And if people are in fact having to make these split second decisions every week. The issue is more likely to be them, the driver, than random occurrence. So them no longer being the driver is likely the safest route and won't even have to deal with the opportunity of the dilemma.


CanAlwaysBeBetter

Cultural norms will shift in subtle ways. That's just how it will go Even now it's amazing going to different cities and seeing different expectations around how drivers and pedestrians interact. In some places walking into the street is a sure fire way to get creamed and no one would blame the driver. In others even acknowledging the existence of cars before you cross the road is a sign of a weakness that guarantees they'll never stop so the only move is to fearlessly step directly into traffic and force them too Both work, you just have to know what to expect and once there are more self driving cars people will adjust. No one is worried about cars and horses sharing a road today.


ValentinoMeow

At least once a week.


commendablenotion

Why don’t you tell that to the family I just murdered?


StenfiskarN

**Murder** "The unlawful *premeditated* killing of one human being by another." Hmm


Yahlunna

The issue is quite nitpicked too. If a car's AI drives itself better than an human, thus making less mistakes/decissions thst would lead to an accidents, i could also argue that is more safe to let an egoist ai drive rather than let a moral human drive the car.


Titan_Astraeus

Yea, the likelihood of being able to evade the kid in the road has nothing to do with how moral/immoral you are so the AI would have the advantage anyway .. it's more situation dependent and I think in reality the AI would be somewhere in the middle. It will maneuver as much as possible to avoid hitting other things without losing control of the vehicle.. I wonder also if the car even differentiates between an obstacle like a stopped car or a pole versus kid in the street. A supposed egotistical AI might not just plow through obstacles because it doesn't really know how solid an object is.


henryhendrixx

I feel like it’s unfair to compare an AI’s moral compass to a humans moral compass in this situation anyway. You can put Mother Teresa behind the wheel of a car and if a truck pulls out in front of her, she’s going to swerve to avoid it. In doing so, she might hit innocent pedestrians that were following all the rules. She didn’t consciously make the decision of “should I hit the truck or should I hit the kids?” Anyone who’s been in an accident knows that you don’t get time to think and make decisions, you only get time to react (if you’re lucky). Humans have a natural tendency to protect themselves in life threatening scenarios, and yeah, some people might just slam the brakes, not swerve, and run into that truck. But they’re not doing that because it’s morally right to those around them, they do that due to external factors like losing control and making it worse for themselves, hitting someone else and becoming at fault, or simply because hitting the truck has the best chance of survival for them. Everyone can talk up a game about how they put others before themselves but I know at least 90% of people who are in a life threatening situation will protect themselves first.


Not-Doctor-Evil

You actually don't make the choice at the point of purchase, the car adjusts itself based on your organ donor status at the DMV.


rW0HgFyxoJhYka

I think its going to be a given that there will be accidents. And there will also be dumbasses who jump in front of cars (like all those insurance scam videos we see literally daily now in many countries). People are going to willingly see if they can fuck with these cars and some will die. I agree with AimeNikor that cars that do not protect the occupant won't be bought. Also, I think there's been some introspective about this very situation in like a movie or tv show or comic, but I can't remember what their conclusion was, besides that they were going over this very scenario in driveless cars.


hello3pat

Easy, same approach insurance companies tell you with animals in the road. Maintain the course because if you try to avoid there's a larger chance more could go wrong. Hitting the animal/child has relatively predictable results compared to veering off the road. They already have an example of something deciding this minus morals, ethics and emotions.


Cyb3rSab3r

Unless they teleport the autonomous car is going to recognize the potential situation and slow down to a safe speed it can brake at. If it can't do that then it wouldn't be fully autonomous yet. This is like asking, "what if the PB&J sandwich-making robot doesn't spread the jelly on the sandwich?" If it can't do the job then it's not that kind of tool yet. Veering and swerving are caused by following too closely to vehicles in front of you or driving too fast in the current environment. Safe distances for driving is around 4 to 5 seconds behind the car in front of you. That's over 350 feet of distance between you and the car in front of you.


Dogburt_Jr

It would decide to maximize brake power and maintain the lane. Going outside the lane would be dangerous. The child would be wrong to run in the street and braking would maximize the child's chances of survival. Computer systems should be faster to react than people so it would maximize both of their survival rates.


Holy_Spear

That's such a rare extreme hypothetical and it's easily refuted, because when the tech is ready it will still be safer than a regular dumbass easily distractable person driving, and also safety features in cars will be better too so this hypothetical is not really that much of a problem.


DuntadaMan

As opposed to a ham driver that will hit those kids, lose control AND run into a tree. People are fucking terrible at driving.


psilorder

Sounds like another point in favor of taxi-fleets. Keith can't service it himself if it's not his.


legsintheair

That sounds dystopian as fuck. Don’t buy a car, subscribe to Google cars for just $3000/month!


Stories-With-Bears

Some car manufacturers are actively working towards this. Basically, you no longer own a car and just use a driverless uber that you summon on demand. I’ve seen people on the tech subs talking about this and getting excited but I don’t see it catching on. People love their cars too much, not to mention all the personal stuff people keep in their cars (children’s car seats, outdoor gear, etc)


minhtuanta

Not all people like cars or like driving. All I need is getting from point A to point B as efficiently and cheaply as possible. Public transportation in my area is so bad that I'd have to rely on my car. If the cost of the service was less than my insurance premium and maintenance then surely I'd ditch my car.


eros_bittersweet

For city dwellers it makes a lot of sense. Car ownership is expensive and in a city with transit it's really not necessary. Whenever I need one, I rent one or book a carshare. If the future is driverless Ubers, I think a lot of people who can't afford their own car or don't want to own one would use that option.


Tripted

Bingo, to everyone rural or in the suburbs it seems absurd. But try finding reasonable parking in a built up inner city. A guy I know got a job in the middle of downtown Brooklyn which came with a duty vehicle, trying to find an affordable residence he could park it at was a massive pain.


Ezechiell

Yeah. It's a really troublesome development how regular people own less and less of the things they use. Everything is being rented, or leased, or bought with credit cards. Regular citizens don't actually own things anymore, while the big corporation swallow everything up, making more and more money in the process. If this trend continues we'll have a world run by Amazon and Google


ColdFusion94

"we'll have a world run by Amazon and Google" Me: gestures widely at the world around us. We're pretty much already there.


Ezechiell

Yeah, that's true. But I fear it will only get worse. Few days ago I saw a picture of an Amazon Barber. I genuinely feel like in 10 year everything will be owned by them. Also, Covid has been great for them, a lot of smaller businesses went out of business, so now Amazon can buy them all up for very cheap. All these tech corporations made billions, during covid, while average Joes lost their jobs, it's fucked up


TransIlana

Yep, covid accelerated our descent into the dystopian timeline in ways we will only fully understand 20 years from now.


bendefinitely

On the other hand, it seems wasteful everyone having their own cars that basically just sit there taking up space at home and public parking lots. I suspect not owning a vehicle would be more cost effective for most people, assuming the average person is spending 200-300/mo for a loan and 100-200/mo for insurance.


Ezechiell

I do agree with that, and I think the current model for personal transportation is a bit outdated. Imo we should have a greater focus on public transport, instead of having everyone own their own cars. As you said, it's really wasteful and inefficient, and especially with our climate getting worse and worse, I think one of our main focuses should be to make our society more efficient and less wasteful. Public transport would be great for that. Having a giant Self Driving Taxi fleet would be just as wasteful as our current model


bendefinitely

I was mostly thinking in terms of financial costs in response to the idea of people not owning their own vehicles anymore. But yes the environmental problem wouldn't be negated by very much since vehicles would still be getting driven the same amount during their useable lifespan.


AJohnsonOrange

I was talking to my partner yesterday and I'm frankly amazed that Amazon or Bezos haven't bought a country yet. Amazon Web Sevice owns massive amounts of shit now as well, surely they can house stuff in a country and literally create the first natio-corporation?


EggpankakesV2

What do you mean 'first'? the EIC didn't conquer, subdue, and exploit millions of people to be forgotten so easily


chillin1066

Also, the East India Company’s branch that dealt with tea helped cause the Boston Tea Party, which in turn helped cause the American Revolution.


AJohnsonOrange

Ha! I mean literally buying, renaming, rebranding a country and then changing the country's flag to their own logo...though also I just temembered the East Indies still exist so I guess you're right? Edit: I think I might be being an idiot at the end there, I don't actually know what the East Indies are.


TransIlana

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_India_Company https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Indies It's all good dude, we all forget stuff or haven't learned stuff yet. That's why we're lucky Wikipedia exists. Tbh I just learned the difference between the West Indies and the East Indies by looking up these links!


Roofdragon

Why are the west indies called that being sooo far away? Not really attached the India or anything?


navjot94

Right now they can lobby the governments of the countries they operate in with minimal effort to get all the tax loopholes and benefits they want, running their own country would only give them slightly more freedom in exchange for having to take care of a country worth of people. They barely take care of their own employees as is, they wouldn’t want to be on the hook for more.


bendefinitely

Exactly. Who wants to worry about employees needing passports when you can just use another countries resources and have taxpayer money handed to you for your generosity for creating jobs


flyerchops

Nah, then they’d actually have to pay their fair share for infrastructure.


SheCouldFromFaceThat

This is why, if you ever hear about something "As-A-Service", read it as carte-blanche to get fucked with charges, forever. Software-as-a-service: Why buy Microsoft Office once, when you could use one operating in the cloud, that you get charged monthly for? Soon, we'll just deactivate those dusty old Office versions so you won't have to hurt your pretty little heads trying to decide what's best.


James_Mamsy

Honestly if the corporate entities are kept spectate and prices are kept fair. The rent/lease model would be fairly effective for everything IMO. Unfortunately we don’t have a government/market tendency interested in having more than 2 companies dominate any given sector.


orangecraz

Of course, the government would have to do something to keep the companies in check, both with laws to protect the renters that will be paying to use it, and efforts to make sure that they know what those laws are. In other words, we're probably screwed.


Hypersensation

Regular people have at no point in civilization owned significant amount of stuff, that's how class society functions, some own a lot and most own almost nothing. Capitalism is crumbling in on itself, so now people are owning less than a generation ago though.


zhobelle

You’ll own nothing and be happy. -WEF


tjdux

Your last sentence is nicely said in beginning of the movie "fight club". https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DVa2K__8rV3o&ved=2ahUKEwiDoJrLno3xAhUIVs0KHb9nC7AQwqsBegQIBhAG&usg=AOvVaw0nAalVF5q0LLmrtfaVG43l


9volts

'You have violated our Terms Of Service, your subscription to our transport system has been cancelled. Click here to read our help page.'


DncCmmndr

Because car manufacturers are so altruistic and not profit focused


psilorder

I think it's imagined without the subscription and prices per mile being lower than taxis are now.


SummerBoi20XX

TRAINS TRAMS AND TROLLIES GODAMN IT


ggroverggiraffe

Can we shoehorn TRANS AMS in there too?


takesSubsLiterally

Imagine not having to waste half of our urban space on parking anymore


psilorder

That does sound nice.


lochinvar11

My town would fill that space with churches, dollar generals, storage facilities, and banks. I don't live in an exciting town.


[deleted]

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Billy_Mercury85

LMFAO I was just watching that segment the other day


SonOfTK421

The United States is awesome about this. People (poorly) repair cars, modify them, and don’t maintain them properly all the time, and it’s terrifying because any Keith in the country can turn 18 and just go get a license. So they aren’t proper mechanics, they really don’t know how to drive at all, and they’re the masters of everyone else’s destinies because they’re basically just high-velocity hazards to everyone else. Oh, and there are seven States that don’t require inspections full-stop, and two states (Mississippi and Michigan) require them only in extremely specific circumstances meaning there’s essentially no inspection. This place is dangerous.


Qimmosabe_Man

I lived in NY for a while and had to keep my car in good shape for it to pass inspection each year. I knew of some people that had "deals" with inspection stations to keep some less than stellar performers on the road, but nothing too horrible. It wasn't until I moved south that I truly witnessed the scale of the amount of death traps moving on the roads.


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[удалено]


druhood

this is our dystopian future, apple cars and iphone 42's. how will anyone be able to buy anything though? by 2032 only three people will have all the money.


shigella212

By putting us in debt ofcourse. Welcome to the rice fields motherfucker.


No-One-2177

I almost have enough credits. Just a few more ads and that Apple Car 2 will be mine.


araldor1

Just keep cycling and you'll get on a gameshow in no time!


facewithhairdude

Well I'm gonna rebel and speak out against all of this! Hey, maybe they'll put me on TV so I can regularly criticise the system...


ChrisNettleTattoo

And you too can be the newest pornstar of the week.


mcslender97

Is there a sub for unexpected Black Mirror?


mikeconcho

Don’t buy their shit.


DrDerpberg

For a low low subscription fee of 110% of your paycheck you can finance it all.


Ganglebot

You type in the name of your locally owned coffee shop but it keeps autocorrecting to Starbucks. You put the name in full quotes and nothing comes up - it still recommends Starbucks with an ad. You search the address on your phone, and type that it. The car agrees to take you there. It picks a way longer route that takes you past 2 Starbucks, all while playing Starbucks ads and releasing coffee scents from your AC. You see a line of text at the bottom of the Starbucks ad - "Monthly Navigation Partner"


Ivanalan24

God. That hurt to read... Mostly because it felt real.


laserdollars420

If the camera senses that you're in a bad mood then we could geomatch you to, say, the nearest cup of sweet pick me up java. If you're in a good mood then we could geonudge you to a sweet coffee shop and you could keep the good times going!


whatphukinloserslmao

So its basically a coffee finding app?


laserdollars420

Yeah! We’re partnering with Starbucks.


BwackGul

Good God. This is too prophetic.


GHuss1231

RemindMe! June 10th, 2033


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Matuzy

I’m in a rush, car. I don’t have time for a handjob.


inbetween_inbetween

Goodness you scared me!


sadworldmadworld

Upgrade to iNav Premium today! For only $2,399 a month, enjoy an ad-free navigation experience.


PlNG

And then your car pulls into an Apple Garage queue mid-commute because you're low on the latest marketing scent cartridge. "SIRI, I'M LATE FOR WORK GODDAMMIT" "FUCK YOU, LOW ON JUNE MARKET SCENT."


MandrakeRootes

Thanks I hate our emerging corporate overlords.


TrickyAxe

And the stereo only plays the new U2 album.


Galp_Nation

>They're trying to help you preserve battery life. Lmao Tesla literally software locks you out of battery capacity (and other features) right now. It's not a hypothetical. You can pay to unlock more in certain models. And I've literally had friends who are Space X/Tesla fans excuse this practice saying it's actually good because it lengthens the life of the battery. You guys don't have to make up these hypotheticals about Apple. You can hate on an actual, real life company doing this right now.


Jake0024

Batteries wear out quickly if you fully discharge them. Gasoline cars also say they're empty when there's still some gas in the tank. They always have. Nobody complains about it being some big conspiracy. Running out of gas can damage your fuel pump, fuel line, injectors, etc.


parentesi

I'm actually curious about why this post is in this subreddit as clearly the woman publishing it is not white. I hope it's not because of the topic she's speaking about.


TheProtractor

The subreddit should be called r/Twitter with how often it happens.


-------penile-------

I’ve tried questioning that before because it happens so frequently....never got a real answer, other than that this sub is meaningless and you can post anything from twitter here. I’d like to see some different social media platforms represented though, maybe we should diversify a little there too.


rW0HgFyxoJhYka

I saw your comment and then saw that the sidebar reads: "We are a community that posts tweets and have a good laugh. We allow tweets from all races but mainly white people. We welcome any to participate here. Please read the rules and keep discussions civil and don't be a dick." So basically, its like many other default subs who's subreddit name may not necessarily match the content as the sub has grown very large. At least that's the benefit of the doubt I give it. Or maybe it was always like this. Doesn't really matter I guess.


PrestonYatesPAY

“We allow tweets from all races but mainly white people” Oh ok, so it’s just normal Twitter then


DrawnbyHigHeisler

because Apple cars and iPhone 45s are white people stuff. c'mon now


PrestonYatesPAY

“White people Twitter” “Unfriendly black techie” Sounds about right


WhenceAndWhere-via

"To help combat tech waste, we're combining our amazing carbon-neutral tire technology (TYRe™) with our world-class wheel and axel system into a single, environmentally sustainable unit!" ^Yes ^that ^does ^mean ^if ^you ^get ^a ^flat ^you ^have ^to ^replace ^the ^whole ^car


SheCouldFromFaceThat

Sustainable! ^^^on ^^^paper


XxcAPPin_f00lzxX

Oh and it has to be serviced by an authorized apple dealership


hewasnumber123

*iTYRe™️ ftfy


flipswitch

I say this every time someone thinks they’re being clever with the “i” jokes. Apple has not come out with a new product category with an i in front of it since the iPad like 12 years ago. If they didn’t have years of established brand recognition, they would love to go back and call the iPhone the apple phone, the iPad the apple pad, etc. If anything it would be something simple and vaguely pretentious like the Apple Drive system.


Graigs_Friend

Good luck coding to predict the crazy shit im going to do in my non-autonomous 2015 crv Edit: I am from New Jersey


gonzalogarcia9

Most likely if autonomous cars become prevalent, roads will have a special lane for non-autonomous and the rest will be for autonomous.


summonsays

Or they'll eventually just not be street legal and you can go drive them in designated places like other non street legal vehicles today.


Rahmulous

They should have a special lane for New Jersey drivers currently in every other state. Protect the world from that incompetence.


Angel_Omachi

I'd like them to test autonomous cars on a European street and watch the AI cry when faced with narrow winding roads with pedestrians and cyclists everywhere.


Sxilla

Siri’s voice activates over the intercom: “Please Upgrade to iOS 22”


riv94

We're gonna need dongles for the cupholders, I guarantee it.


PlasticCupboard007

please pay for your gas AND the weekly subscription to your apple car


Assgoblin177

I'm really excited for the Nokia tank


Age_Terrible

I hope its directions aren't controlled by Siri. That thing is useless.


My_Body_The_Mystery

Can you imagine going to charge your car in the middle of nowhere at 3am and the car wont recognize the non-Apple charger. Either that or your car is bricked


Rohwi

That’s kind of what is actually happening right now with EVs. Different suppliers with different paying methods and different cable types and charging speeds. if you find a random charging station in the middle of the night, you are in no way guaranteed that your car will be able to charge at that spot


80s-Angel

That’s ridiculous... EVs are sounding worse & worse...


Rohwi

It is. I am a huge fan of the whole EV trend and think it is a great idea in general, but the charging infrastructure right now is terrible. You need different adapters in your car to charge on different charging stations. Fine. Not much of a hassle and this will fade out once the EV market is big enough and one standards survives. But the payment is bonkers. Why doesn’t it just work with my credit card. Why can’t I drive up, tap my credit card with NFC, Charger unlocks. Plugs in. Press a button to start charging and the cable locks into place. After charging I tap again. Charging stops, unlocks the cable and I get charged whatever it cost. The fact that prices vary vastly, some with unlocking fee, some with per kwh, some with per minute prices, some with all three of the above, is also bonkers, but at least I would be able to charge Imagine finding a Gas Station and you are not allowed to fill your tank without being a member of the company and have your membership card with you…


The-dude-in-the-bush

Planned obsolescence is gonna be way more present in automobile markets if this happens


Eevertti

What a perplexing sudden problem, im happy to know my apple car dealer will fix it 😳


Pinetree808

The Apple car will look sleek and premium but Will be triple the price of the car you already own and will require you to pay 10000$ for changing the tire. It will just not work if you try to change the tire by yourself. You also won't be able to use any gas station, it has to be Apple gas.


Unhappy-Stranger-336

Sometimes the tire could not be changed and you will have buy a new car


Calm-Teaching-5891

Dont forget. You have to buy the front bumper, wheels and, seatbelts separately


why-can-i-taste-pee

“White People Twitter


Nipplemantid

love when a fucking part breaks and i have to buy a WHOLE NEW FUCKING CAR


Socialimbad1991

Put in the directions to the gas station and my car tried to take me into the ocean???


Shavasara

Gotta love that planned obsolescence.


shaycode

No thank you. Apple Maps will have you out here wandering around like Moses and the Israelites


Faulty_Pants

I hate how everyone is an everything company now.


Darthnothing79

Bet the use a non-standard power cable too


inckalt

Auto radio starts playing U2 whether you want it or not.


Redshift_1

Suddenly, your Apple Car 1 prompts you for a software update, and your battery life suddenly drains.


leshake

Your car informs you that the battery now lasts only 10 minutes.


dallenr2

You have to buy a special software update to use windows.


Locomule

Who the fuck are all these lazy fucking scientists that think we don't want to drive our on cars? The autovolume control on my TV works like shit, I don't need it driving me around town. Fuck Apple, fuck Tim Cook.


at0mheart

Or car has a software update every other day and makes you late for work


VaguelyFrenchTexan

Of course it will *have* to be driverless. How do you expect a driver to see with no windows?


infinitum3d

Ba-dum *tsss*