Four years ago, my FIL told me to cold call and drop off donuts at the places I wanted to work. I asked him if I could bring donuts to his office and he said “well no security would stop you.” Edit: Grammar nazis your tears nourish me numnumnum


Am security. Would get fired for letting any stranger with only donuts and no access through the door.


You just gotta keep showing up every day and you'll get your job back


My aunt once insisted I needed to use the phone book to look things up instead of looking it up online. Aunt: The internet might not always be there so you need to learn how to use a phone book Uncle: Honey, if the internet is gone she’ll have much bigger problems than not knowing how to use a phone book


I hate the assumption that it’s some sort of rocket science to use a book and as soon as the almighty internet goes out, somehow we’ll all just be babbling idiots using the books as hats. You don’t really lose the ability to open a page and look something up alphabetically. Ever.


If an apocalypse happens where the internet is down we can definitely figure out how to read a book to look up useful information. But as my uncle pointed out, if an apocalypse happens where the internet is down learning to use a phone book is low on the list of problems. Yeah finding and raiding a library for survival guides would be useful but there are other concerns. Lol


I love the idea of someone frantically searching the phonebook to find their doctor to make an appointment and calling just to be told "we can't set any appointments right now, our scheduling system and everything else is down" ​ Good thing you knew how to find that number.


My dad insists that if you show up repeatedly, unannounced, in person that you can land any job regardless of your qualifications.




Yup. My parents convinced me to try this once for a job I really wanted ... I didn't get the job. I could tell they didn't want me showing up, but my parents told me it would work ...




Ah all good, that was like 20 years ago. I just remember it because that was one of the big lessons in "*My parents grew up in a different world and their advice is dubious*" for me. My big takeaway from that was that I should trust my own instincts. I could tell from the beginning that it was a mistake to keep showing up, but I kept it up because you don't know till you try. Well now I know. Thanks for the well-wishes though, much appreciated.


I’m calling the cops


I had a lot of fights with my parents about this when I was hunting for my first job in high school in the mid-late 2000s. The advice they gave me was all of the classic boomer shit: walk in and ask to speak to a manager. Give them your resume on the spot. Say you can start immediately. Etc. They would not hear that all stores wanted you to apply online, and would literally drive me to strip malls against my will and make me go into each store to try to speak to the manager.


You and me both. If I refused to do it my mom would go into stores in her spare time (often ones where I'd applied online already) and then give them my name and demand an application. She basically got me disqualified from 75% of the potential jobs in the local area.


As an employer, oh Lord would this make me flag your resume in red. Not because *you* aren't qualified... But I already know your parent would be an issue and a giant headache for dumb shit all the time.


When I was 14 there was a really cool ski/snowboard shop that was a 20 minute bike ride from our house, or a quick bus ride. I had the a solid grasp on the basics for tuning and waxing skis and boards. I wanted a job there so bad. My dad made me show up like 5 times in one week and do that shit. One time I sat and waited like 3 hours to talk to the owner. I always got answers like "they would look into it and get back to me". Finally the last time the owner got kind of mad and told me that they weren't hiring minors and wouldn't hire me until I was 18 and to stop coming back. A friend ended up managing it when we were 19 and I got talking to the owner. I apologized and said I was still embarrassed but my dad made me do it. He told me that they were going to hire me and thought it was cool that a young kid was so interested. But when I showed up over and over again before they could even get the ball rolling, they thought I was annoying and immature and thus wouldn't be great to work with. So fuck you dad, that is terrible advice.


I would have called my dad right on the spot and had the guy retell exactly the story. Or at least record him saying that.


My aunt once told my brother in law to speak to the dean of his college at university so he could get his teaching certificate. Apparently back in her day you didn’t have to go through a certification program if you had a degree and gave a sob story and proof of hardship, they would just sign your certificate. She didn’t understand that worked for her 50 years ago but won’t fly today.


Any time I tell my dad I'm going somewhere he asks what way I'm going, then I have three seconds to come up with a plausible road or he'll start telling me in great detail which way to go. Thanks dad but I won't remember any of this, literally the second you stop talking I'm going to put it in google maps and follow it unquestioningly.


>and follow it unquestionably. This has me laughing. It’s sooo true!!


Whenever I use google maps, I say "Listen to the google. Obey the google."


When you ask someone their address and they start with "well you take 74 north..." -___-


"You'll pass by Jim's Kosher Deli, take a left at the next light." Jim's Deli hasn't been there since '96. It's been a Radio Shack, Blockbuster, and marijuana dispensary since. And the light is a roundabout now.


Hand your resume directly to a manager. Tell them you'll work free for a couple of days to prove how good a worker you are.


Then call the manager every few days to see how it’s going. They will admire your perseverance.


Worked at a company where this older guy got a job that way. He would call the director every day, then the COO. The COO ended up folding and hiring him. She regretted that almost immediately after he was hired.


Were they a bad worker?


He was. He would tell everyone that he had 30 years of experience in the field, but he had no idea what he was doing. He would argue with the director about the simplest of things. So confidently incorrect. The director finally moved him out to work at the warehouse because he would mess up a lot of orders. This was at a home infusion pharmacy where an order fuckup is a big deal. Edit: fixed grammar


Don't forget to pack a lunch so they see you're ready to start right away.


I’m 33 and still get told to just “walk in there and ask for a job!” Lol. Also my dad thinks that if I tell people my parents are divorced they’ll be sympathetic as if it’s still a rarity.


Why would an adult care that another adult’s parents are divorced? I want to know your dads logic on this


Lol he’s old and out of touch. He’s still in the mindset that it’s rare enough that you should pity kids of divorced parents.


This is like some sort of pre-internet small world syndrome


I had this older male I used to work with (a doctor) who told me I shouldn’t tell anyone, especially employers, that I am divorced because people will think there is something wrong with me. He also told me I can never call myself single and that I have to call myself divorced. Because you can never be single again.


I had a guy who was letting me live at his place get mad at me because I wasn't going out and filling out applications. So I took him with me to maybe a dozen places to ask for an application and every single one of them told him to apply online. He was bewildered.


Your handshake probably just wasn’t firm enough, or your shirt wasn’t perfectly pressed.


I'd love to see a movie about a boomer who found the fountain of youth only to return to a society as a twenty something year old trying to live by their advice and finding out the harsh reality of this age for themselves.


I would watch the shit out of that movie.


Somebody call netflix!




Dammit Netflix! Just when we had a working title, "Boomerang"


dude this idea and title is actually so perfect !! please pitch it somewhere somehow !!


Young Boomer \*Firm handshake\* "I would like a job and I will work hard for you!" Manager: \*Looks at him funny\* "Sign up at this website, fill out your information, and we will get back to you"


"Hopefully you have 10 years experience for an entry level position and don't mind making just a hair over minimum wage."


Wear your best suit, print out your resume on the nicest paper you can find, and walk into an office in order to apply for a job.


I'm sure employers care about the type of paper you print your resume on above your qualifications.


"back in the day" when people actually shifted through stacks of paper to look at applicants it might stand out enough to at least have someone glance over it.


Dad: "Do something you love and you'll never work a day in your life" Me: "I want to be a park ranger" Dad: "They don't make very much money..."


Never follow this advise. Do something you can tolerate. I do something I love and it’s awful. I make crap money and lost the enjoyment I had in the thing I loved doing.


Honestly, this is why I didn't do cooking professionally. I love it as a hobby that I fear doing it professionally would absolutely make me hate it.


Plus cooking for a dinner rush at a business is quite a bit different than cooking a nice meal for your family or friends.


Yeah, but the burn out from doing that specific task is also real. I work maintenance for example now, and even now it's hard for me to want to do maintenance related things at home cause I did it all day at work lol


"Study hard, get a degree, get a job with a good company, work hard for them, and stay until retirement..." Yeah, that didn't work for me back in the 1980s. Why the fuck would it work now?


I joined the workforce in 2009, You know, when there were a ton of people looking for employment so businesses were able to lowball all candidates. I took a job that paid $11 / hour because I was desperate and thought they would reward me when the economy got better. I stayed for 11 years. During that time the economy was great. At one point I was making less than 40k and living with my parents — as the Quality Manager in the automotive industry. Last year I realized they were paying HALF of the average wage of people with my title. I found a job within 2 weeks of uploading my resume. They countered by offering me 8k LESS THAN WHAT THE NEW COMPANY WAS OFFERING — citing the impending recession. I will never be loyal to a company again.


“Kids these days don’t know how to make a marriage work. Even if children are involved.” This gem spoken by my aunt who’s been divorced THREE times, with children by two different men.


Which is funny because the divorce rates are the lowest they’ve been since the 80s.


I think that probably goes hand in hand with millennials getting married later or opting out of kids too?


That and I believe millennials are just opting out of marriage more in general compared to older generations.


It's hard to plan a life together when you're living paycheck to paycheck and occasionally in a car.


That's a depressingly real way of explaining it :( I don't disagree, though. Optimistically, I think the normalization of living together before getting married also prevents many marriages that would have failed within the first few years from happening. Things are different when you are co-habitating with your significant other. ​ Then again, moving in together is probably another sad reality of the financial strain millennials and beyond are under.


Too add to this, the reduced stigma of divorce and financial independence for (most) women has allowed people to leave marriages they would have been helplessly trapped in 50 years ago.


My grandparents keep telling me that I have to work, even if they don’t pay me. Rest is for the dead.


I'm currently on fmla with my newborn daughter for 12 weeks paid thankfully (in a good state where this is a thing) my parents have told me try to get back to work way before the 12 weeks is up it'll look good to your employer. They can't comprehend that is not the point pfml


Man, they love to prioritize everything above family. Who needs to stay home to be with your newborn daughter and help your spouse when you could be kissing your employer's ass? And when it comes time for promotion (or layoffs), I guarantee you that management won't be saying "Remember that time arcticmattys returned early from FMLA? Such an essential employee."


So true and the sad thing is that fmla is a new thing maybe people would feel more loved if they used early bonding with their kids instead of portraying themselves as "badasses" with the mentality "your mom had you on a Friday I was back to work Saturday to earn a living!" Thanks for being there dad....


It's almost as if people enjoy and deserve a life outside of their jobs. What a strange concept.


In the midst of the billion dollar lottery fever, I made a comment how if I’d won that much money, while I wouldn’t immediately quit my job, I would look forward to never working again. My grandmother mentioned that it was a shame, because I was such the ideal employee. I’m like “A shame for whom??” Like, I work because I have to so I can trade money for goods and services, not because I don’t have other things I like to do.


It's a hard concept to understand since it's so unreachable by the majority, but "Never working again" doesn't mean getting high on the couch all day (which is fine anyway), it means having the financial security to not have to dance to another's tune (job) to pay the bills. Like yourself I wouldn't immediately quit my job as I have a good relationship with my employer/co-workers, but it would be an immediate discussion of an exit plan in 4-6 weeks for sure. After that? Tonne of hobbies/projects I've wanted to "work" on but just don't have the time or money today to dedicate to them. I'd also want to look into local volunteering, so many need/want help during the "normal" 9-5 day but that's impossible with a job.


I've only been out for 2 weeks so far and it has been the happiest of my life. Although a bit sleep deprived every moment is full of joy and learning/showing a new world to my daughter and even my wife and I! I never want to go back to work lol


> The phrase “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” … [is] attributed to a late-1800s physics schoolbook that contained the example question “Why can not a man lift himself by pulling up on his bootstraps?” >So when it became a colloquial phrase referring to socioeconomic advancement shortly thereafter, it was meant to be **sarcastic**, or to suggest that it was an **impossible accomplishment**. [sauce](https://uselessetymology.com/2019/11/07/the-origins-of-the-phrase-pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps/)




In a similar vein, Australian politicians, especially the conservative ones, love to emphasise that we live in a lucky country. That Australia is the land of opportunity and a "fair go". And that we should should be thankful to our previous governments (typically conservative) that we continue to live in such a lucky place. Except the phrase, "Australia is a lucky country", was originally used as slur. > The Lucky Country is a 1964 book by Donald Horne. The title has become a nickname for Australia[1] and is generally used favourably, although the origin of the phrase was negative in the context of the book. Among other things, it has been used in reference to Australia's natural resources, weather, history, its early dependency of the British system, distance from problems elsewhere in the world, and other sorts of supposed prosperity. > Horne's intent in writing the book was to portray Australia's climb to power and wealth based almost entirely on luck rather than the strength of its political or economic system, which Horne believed was "second rate". In addition to political and economic weaknesses, he also lamented on the lack of innovation and ambition, as well as a philistinism in the absence of art, among the Australian population, viewed by Horne as being complacent and indifferent to intellectual matters. He also commented on matters relating to Australian puritanism, as well as conservatism, particularly in relation to censorship and politics. [Shake of the sauce](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lucky_Country#:~:text=In%20his%201976%20follow%2Dup,people%20who%20share%20its%20luck.)


If you can't pay a bill, just send them $5. As long as you pay something the company will work with you.


Lol. I had a hard time making a student loan payment in my early 20s. Went right into chase to let them know and they may as well have said "lol fuck you".




"We need you to be more vulnerable so we can extract as much value from you as possible."




I did this and it was the best decision of my life. By the time my seven years is up, I will have a ton saved up in cash. It cut hundreds off my monthly expenses.




Please whatever you do, don’t do credit counseling (paying another company to negotiate with creditors you owe/stopped paying). You can negotiate on your own behalf, without paying a fee to someone, or just include it in the bk Source: former mortgage loan officer who has reviewed hundreds of credit reports and seen a lot of vulnerable people destroy their credit/fall for scams


My mom once told me to call the electric company, tell them the money will be late and it won’t be enough and to tell them they’re going to be ok with that. So in short, how to get your lights cut off thanks to my mom


Believe it or not, banks & creditors used to have compassion and the flexibility to work with people that fell on hard times….but it was back when Elvis was still alive!


This is usually only true with hospitals.


If you put your head down and work really hard, someday somebody will notice you. When they do, you will be successful.


If you work hard, the boss will promote his nephew, and then you can do your job and the nephew’s job as well.


And if you keep working hard and manage to do great work with both your job and the nephew’s job as well, the boss will fire the other hard-working co-worker so you can do their job too. Repeat as needed until you burn out and have a mental breakdown, at which point you are kicked to the curb that very day.


You gotta be loyal to your employer


Haha love this one. Being loyal to an employer: 1-5% raise per year. Finding a new job: 5-60% raise whenever you feel like it.


No joke I stayed with the same company for 10 years and new hires were being brought in at higher salaries than the pittance raises I was getting yearly. I switched jobs and immediately got a 30% bump and then a promotion within the year for another 20%. I like "loyalty" because I don't define myself by my salary but hot damn the offer they slid across the table made my eyes pop.


I doubled my salary by changing jobs twice within one year. Both those companies still exist and are profitable. Fuck loyalty.


Seriously. I've job hopped 4 times in the last 3-4 years. I've more than doubled what I was making then. I'm happy where I'm at now but in another 5 years? I may consider looking around again. Job hopping is definitely worth it for a lot of people.


I switched jobs recently and my dad (Born in the 1950s) told me that this better be my last one or I'll be looked at as a "job hopper" to future employers. He's worked for 2 companies since 1986 and I can promise you they could care less about him, but he's not a job hopper!


People get so worked up by my career. I'm a union pipefitter. I've had 6 maybe 7 different employers in my 15 year career. I'm on my third stint at this one. I'll probably take a layoff after this job and hit the road and find work out west. People think I'm nuts for being the highest employee of the company on this job and overseeing 50 guys and simultaneously not being afraid to just walk when this job ends.


You sound like the blue collar version of me. I've been working in IT for 20 years. My resume has 12 different companies I've worked for on it. Switching is how you get raises. Real raises, not 2%.


The only advice I get from old people these days is literally "don't get old"


I plan on getting old because the alternative is dying young.


I plan to die young 95 years from now


Died age 103 in a threesome heroin accident.


I plan on dying in an illegal offshore floating casino crash caused by a monkey knife fight gone horribly wrong.


I work primarily with retirees and I hear "don't get old" every single day. I've started to say, "I'll try not to." Sometimes they realize what that would entail and the look of realization of what I've just said can be pretty amusing.


Getting old does bring with it a kind of deep, contemplative depression as the knowledge of your mortality and impending death starts to sink in. On the other hand, I for one have my shit together way more than I did when I was younger, which is pretty awesome


I get that!! When I turned 65, I became sad and lethargic for months. I had just lost someone dear to me as well so I’m sure that was a part of my depression. Every day I felt dread.. then I turned 66 and it’s as if an ephiphy occurred. I started counting my blessings of which I have many. I try not to look back but I’m still learning from my mistakes.. I am sober, i own my home and relish my solitude. I’m an artist but work from home as well. Have two wonderful daughters, a grandson and a great dog. I can pay my bills. I have more than a lot of people and for that I’m grateful. So my advise is be grateful for what you’ve work hard to obtain. And be kind.


"I paid for college with the part time job I worked in the summer."


“Then I voted to take all that away from you.”


Pulling the ladder up once they are done


It's the modern American way.


I used to work at an oil refinery in rural Indiana. 70% of the workers were over 50 and had been there for decades. Most of them were making easily over 180k+/year. The majority of them spend 80% of their time on the clock watching porn or "chatting" with OnlyFans girls they are subscribed too. All of these dudes were hardcore Trump supporters, and constantly talked about how newer generations don't know shit and are lazy unironically. Keep in mind none of these guys went to college and some didn't even have a G.E.D.


Bro I work at a fast food place, and I swear to God I was working the lobby and this dude was scrolling through Facebook and I saw his feed was Trump and pro Russia shit for the little bit I was next to him, I walk by 5 mins later and this man is literally watching porn in the lobby without even trying to hide it (except his volume being off)


Don’t forget that new car you bought immediately after graduation


In the 25 years since I graduated I have never owned a brand new car.


"You won't always have a calculator on you" Meanwhile, I'm carrying what would have been the equivalent of several dozen supercomputers for two decades in my pocket.


My current phone would have been one of the fastest computers on the market 15-ish years ago.


Need a new job? Hit the pavement! Apply in person! Imagine growing up when having a pulse and 3rd grade reading level got you a house on one salary.


Advice from the 70s regarding budgeting for a single person, “Your rent/mortgage should never be more than 25% of your income. If it is, you’re living beyond your means.” Today, full-time at $15/hr before tax is $600/week. A home costing more than $600/month, would be living beyond your means.


A landlord recently turned me down because rent would have been a whole third of my income and she wasn't sure I could handle that kind of financial strain.


So the alternative is homelessness where at least you are at 0 risk of becoming homeless...


well 40% of US homeless have jobs and 50% of homeless shelters residents.


I would LOVE to find somewhere for $150 a week


I have another air mattress in the back of my van... great view, changes daily!


With that advice, I'd need a house for around £337 a month. That is literally impossible in the UK. Even if I wanted to get a studio apartment, it'd still be around £500. My current two bedroom apartment is £500 and it was an insanely good deal since that's impossible to find. Usually 2 bedrooms in my area go for £700+. With that in mind, I live in a minor town. In London, you won't find anything below £800 period.


You'd be lucky to get a room in London for 800


Meanwhile, the average price of an apartment passed the annual income from minimum wage in the US. In other words, if you make minimum wage, even spending 100% of your income on housing won’t reach the average cost of an apartment.


> A home ~~costing more than $600/month,~~ would be living beyond your means.


“Set aside 20% of your paycheck for savings! People these days are just so bad with money!” Yeah, sure, I’d love to, but when your *entire* paycheck isn’t enough for rent, bills, and food (and God forbid you need money for copays for therapy and meds), there’s something seriously wrong there.


Walk into a store, ask to speak to the manager and give a firm handshake when looking for a job


After quitting nursing I thought finding a job would be simple enough. 60+ mostly unanswered applications later and I was proven wrong. Hell, I had 3 interviews with Trader Joe’s and they said I wasn’t a good fit. I’m pretty certain I could show up on time, stock shelves and be nice to hipsters.


"No OnE wAnTs To WoRk ThEsE dAyS"


Literally anything that starts with “When I was your age”.


“Never discuss compensation with your colleagues.” This is such terrible advice. It only benefits the company that’s ripping you off.


A lot of people think this is actually illegal and that you can be legally fired for doing this. That is in fact false.




Yup. I asked around my organization and found out that I was the lowest paid employee at my org. Well, I told my boss (who had access to this kind of information), “I think I’m the lowest paid employee here, and I think my work is better than that.” He went into talks with higher ups and got me a $10k raise.


I had something like that happened. I was paid 15k less than the guy I was managing. Came from a poor background and was happy with any pay I could get because it was better than not eating. Found out and asked for a raise to 55k. They told me they couldn't. Found a position at the same company for 72k, and when I told them they offered me a position at 65k. Laughed my ass off all the way to my new desk. This was at a fortune 50 company and I knew they could raise my pay, that group just refused because they didn't think I would leave.


Work hard and save and you can afford a house.


Applying for 90% of jobs in person is not recommended or impressive -- it makes you look like a dope who doesn't understand how to use a computer. The obvious exceptions which prove the rule are retail, some construction, and restaurants.


Even retail and fast food jobs are all online now. Boomers think you can walk into a Fortune 500 company and walk out as an accountant.


I was literally told that the way to get a job was to just show up and not leave until I spoke with a hiring manager.


When I was a teen my mom drove me to a sandwich place I'd applied to and refused to leave until I marched inside and asked why their "help wanted" sign was still up when I was willing to work there. I did not get the job and I also never went to that sandwich place again. Boomers really love that whole "show gumption and give them a firm handshake and they'll fall all over themselves wanting to hire you" myth.


My grandpa claims he went to a construction site every day asking for work and, after being turned down each time, showed up and worked for free until they hired him. Each time the story is told, he gets a year younger and the amount of time he worked for free increases by one day.


Jay Leno says this happened to him at a car mechanic. Maybe it's a popular boomer tale.


It's just another walking a mile to school barefoot in the snow.


uphill, both ways.




My boomer mother told teen me that to help get the job that I should tell the manager I’d be willing to work for less money, up to and including working for less than minimum wage. Mom thinks the workforce hasn’t changed since 1971. No mom, just the wages.


it worked for me once because they were desperate


That's like the vocational equivalent of those Grand Romantic Gestures in romcoms that would get you slapped with a restraining order (or just slapped) in real life.


That's terrible advice. You should walk in with a gun so the manager is more inclined to speak to you.


This guy Americans.


Even 15 years ago, I walked into a chain clothing store to apply for a job and the manager just handed me an application, and circled the URL at the top to apply through.


My mom drove me to Best Buy in 2001 to apply for a job and I asked the security guard to talk to the manager for an application and both the security and a floor worker pointed me to a demo laptop that was already set to the web site to apply. My mom stills doesn’t get why they wouldn't even talk to me…


When my dad graduated from college, he printed out 50 copies of his resume and drove to every accounting firm in the phonebook to personally deliver a copy... That kinda shit gets you a restraining order these days 😭


Yes. Walk in and get escorted out by security.


Recently, I was leaving work a bit early and was exiting the building through the main lobby. Our lobby is very small and is typically unmanned (we use a check in-system on an iPad). The rest of the building is badge entry. I’m leaving and there is a super young guy just sitting on the couch. I ask him if he needs help with anything. He said he was there to speak to the marketing manager because he was interested in a job. You know just swinging by unannounced, uninvited to interrupt their day. I had to explain that that’s really not how applying for jobs works,directed him to linkedin, and walked him out. He’d been waiting in the lobby for a half hour before I came by. I could just tell this was bad advice from a parent.


I feel this on a personal level, got this advice countless times, most often when I was unemployed for almost the half of last year. It didn't put me in any better position than if I apply on e-mail, but instead I got soaked in the rain, and had the opportunity to hear some bullshit from the owner of a small gyros place, that "well, we would prefer to employ a girl for the job. You know, here you have to dice onions and chop lettuce..." ​ Regarding your story: I hope the boy has reported his experiences in detail to his parents when he got home... But imho, maybe they will never understand or accept it.


12 years ago my boomer mother told me to do this at Costco, I told her I already applied online and hadn’t heard back yet and when I refused to go bother the manager in person SHE WENT DOWN HERSELF TO ASK ABOUT IT FOR ME (LOLLL) and she got the “please apply online I can’t help you” response. It was satisfying but I don’t understand how she thought mommy coming down to Karen the manager would help get me a job.


She thought she was going to prove you wrong.


I got a job at Target right after, she didn’t even want me to work at Target because she preferred Costco.


Just work hard and you will be appreciated. I was overstepped multiple times in my office, because I’m not Bro-ing down with management


Re: depression — snap out of it and stop feeling sorry for yourself.


If you get tattoos, you’ll never find a job.


Or the general idea that only criminals and bad people get tattoos. Fun short story: I have a medical condition that resulted in me losing my adrenal glands. I have to take steroids daily in order to stay alive. In certain situations (fever, surgery, severe injuries) I have to take “stress doses.” I’m supposed to wear a medical bracelet but I don’t like jewelry. I was in a car accident a few years ago and wasn’t wearing my bracelet. No one at the hospital knew my history and I didn’t get steroids until it was almost too late. My doctor chastised me and said if I wasn’t going to wear the bracelet then I might as well get a tattoo. I’m not sure how serious she was but I ended up getting a medical alert tattoo on my inner arm (it can be covered with long sleeves but I have to wear scrubs to work and my employer didn’t care). My grandparents saw it and told me god was disappointed and that I had “desecrated my temple” and they will pray for my “forgiveness and eternal soul.”


I guess they would rather you meet Jesus sooner than have a tattoo


I also got the “if you get tattoos you won’t get a man” Tattooed, married with a good job and my bosses both have tattoos.


I was told to marry a rich man once. Made me laugh, only bad advice because I was already married to a non-rich woman.


They left out the part where you marry a rich, closeted gay man and get an allowance in exchange. Though that practice is obsolete it did exist once. Edit: Does exist as a practice, I was speaking more in context of countries where being gay is not a crime, which is not all. I guess my comment was too hopeful concerning humanity as a whole.


"Find a job that makes you happy." Sir, I will starve if I pursue being an artist.


If you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life. But it’s so hard to get paid for doing bong hits and watching TV all day.


Worse than that: whatever you love, once it becomes a paycheck, very often becomes a chore.


An old acquaintance worked his ass off so he could take a lower paying job as a dive master and could "scuba every day". It didn't take long before he started hating people in general and tourists in particular. Almost ruined his passion.


In his defense...people are idiots. Hell, part of the allure of diving is getting the fuck away from people.


Anyone who has owned a business quickly learns this, I’ve owned two. I never worked harder in my life and I was the meanest boss I’d ever had! 🤣


When I worked for myself, my boss was a Dick…


My grandpa was a musician when he was young. When I was 10, I told him I wanted to be a musician when I grew up. Every time I saw him until his death, he tried talking me out of becoming a musician.


"find a job with a pension" Sure, but once I invent the time machine I suspect I'll no longer need the pension.


If you want to find a job, just hand out your resume to different businesses


My brother and sister in law have a baby on the way. My brother is looking for a better paying job but it's not been so successful. So his inlaws butt in and tell him literally all the clichés; walk into an office and ask to speak to the hiring manager, handing in your resume directly to the hiring manager and this absolute banger, take the hiring manager out to lunch. They also feel he doesn't have a real "passion" for work.


>take the hiring manager out to lunch. As a hiring manager, I have to laugh at that one specifically. That kind of stupid is why we have gift rules forbidding taking gifts from people who work for you or are trying to get something from you. The idea that you'd give someone a job in exchange for a meal or two is kind of insulting to us on the hiring side, but them's the rules. Hell, if you're trying for a government gig, that could technically be a crime - offering someone a bribe. A stupid, cheap bribe, but still.


Not my dad...he gave pretty good advice. This…isn’t his advice. "Don't learn a trade. That's for Those People. Go to college instead...you'll make a lot more money and have a secure future." Edited for clarity and to remove errors.


I have friends who work trades and didn’t go to college and make way more than me (I have a masters degree). Plus they don’t have student loans… electricians, plumbers, contractors, etc. These are all trades that will always be needed and in high demands. They charge anything they want bc they know dumb college educated people like me will pay


This is true, but we pay a different cost. 22 years as a commercial/industrial electrician. My bodies pretty beat, and I spent a lot of years breathing in garbage that will come back to haunt me later. It's a running joke among construction workers that you don't need to save for retirement, because you'll be dead before you can use it.


It's a joke but it's sadly true. My dad was a carpenter who started his own general contracting company. I worked as a laborer for him on and off for about a decade and in that time I watched some of the older guys age out...they were almost all under 50 y/o, probably didn't have great retirement plans and their bodies were beat. It was a bit of a wake up call for me.


"It's all about sacrifice" -Mom who stayed home, Dad worked a single income job that provided a house, trips each year, summer cotttage, food and everything else for 3 kids.


“Well you are still young, you have plenty of time” I am almost 40, I am half way. When do you stop being “young”? When they die?


My mom still calls one of my coworkers "that kid with the curly blond hair" even though that kid retired in December. I have to keep reminding her that even though i have a 2 year old at 42 that I am not super young anymore. Some of my old classmates are grandmothers, but yeah that guy 15 years older than me is still a kid.


You won’t always have a calculator in your pocket


Keep a dime in your shoe for an emergency when you need to use the payphone. Don't sit too close to the television; it's bad for your eyes. Paying a house mortgage is an investment toward old age. If you need help, look for a policeman.


The dime one got me dying.


Buying a nice suit to help you find a girlfriend. Actual advice from my grandma to one of my family members.


On the flip side, you can meet a nice boy at church. Mom, there are no nice boys at church. The few men there are married and are not the kind of person I'd like to be married to.


Avoid eating fat, eat lots of carbohydrates instead. You’ll die from eating eggs in the morning, double chocolate cereal is the way to go.


>double chocolate cereal is the way to go. Hey now!


I like confusing my children with old people sayings like “Don’t take any wooden nickels!” I will say it as I drop them off at a commuter bus stop and when they react with confusion, I will yell “Ask Jeeves!” Then I cackle as I drive away.


Where I live, we have a problem with not not finding people that are willing to do apprenticeships. Because the older ppl where convinced that only people that studied will have a comfortable life. So now you can pay a plumber up to 150-300€ per hour. Because you can’t study to be a plumber. Meanwhile doctors get less usually per hour. So no, I won’t study. Besides I hate sick people.


I had a problem with my heat pump, the tech said it was the accumulator bottle. He wanted $800 to fix it. I spoke with an HVAC tech I knew who said it was a $100 part and took an hour or two to install. That’s about $350 hour labor At the same time I had surgery on my leg. The bill showed the vascular surgeon being paid $550 for 2.5 hours of surgery ($220 per hr). I asked the surgeon if that was correct, he said yes. He said that’s all the insurance company would pay. I told him the HVAC story and he said, we’re in the wrong business.


Oh and where I live, plumbers etc. can charge a full hour ever 15min after 6pm. Images getting fourth times your pay within an hour. I’d only work after 6pm. They can make those prices because who else is gonna do it? I’m not a plumber but I’m gonna be in a similar field so y’all please stay in uni.


Do not listen to old people just because they are old. Age does not equal wisdom. Wisdom comes from a willingness to learn and grow from experiences. There are a lot of older individuals that never accept these lessons and the advice they give is not to enhance your path in life but to validate their lack of progress. Spend the time to find honest individuals in this world who can help provide wisdom to improve your journey regardless of their age.


Just pray. Everything will turn out fine and God never gives us more than we can handle. (I am 60 and heard this BS yesterday. While I am in the hospital after almost dying from blood loss.)




“Take this quarter, stick it in the bank and watch it grow.” My gramps said this to me countless times as a kid. For someone who fixed farm equipment for a living and invested/saved/scrimped their way to well past $1mil, it makes sense. At this point though, putting money into a savings account will actually *lose* value over inflation.