T O P
sigdiff

We used to have one of these in a tank where I worked. I always thought it was such a sweet fish because it always looked like it was smiling at you and it would follow you if you walked past the glass. Then one time I volunteered to feed. It was not a sweet fish. It was a terrifying carnivorous monster. I've never been more afraid of a fish in my life.


Dr_Disaster

They’re typically not aggressive to anything that’s not food. Puffers are really intelligent as far as fish go. They’re friendly towards owners and have a playful personality. It’s why they make good pets for people that can afford to take care of them.


Renegade7559

You just described my wife


ElBarbas

I don't think I can afford to take care of this guy wife


THEmoron21

I cant take care of myself, let alone anyones wife…..now, someone’s HUSBAND….


Kreth

The smile is because their teeths get so big they push their jaws apart.


nyanbran

The smile is because he's the fucking Joker


Dr_Disaster

Their teeth literally never stop growing. You can tell how old one his from the size of their chompers.


VT_Squire

m...m-momma says that pufferfish are ornery cause they got all them teeth but no toothbrush.


Hellkids2

We live in a fish tank


almightywhacko

Jeez, that was the fastest I've every seen *anything* eat a crab...


erinocalypse

You must not be from Baltimore


Eternal_grey_sky

What... what happens In Baltimore...?


TerribleThomasTaylor

We eat crabs with hammers and Old Bay


HellaFella420

Lol, visit Baltimore


BigPimpin91

[This underwater pipe is pretty close. ](https://youtu.be/PXgKxWlTt8A)


rrxel100

They got mean ass front teeth


wudidothistime

It's a puffer fish and they have beaks that crush shells.


rrxel100

I guess a beak then. I saw one take a chunk out of a dudes finger snorkeling in hawaii


wudidothistime

Caught a few in Florida. They can bend the hook


castledanger61

How do you take them off the hook, are they safe to hold?


UlonMuk

Not if you’re a crab


RangerLt

Can you feel it now, Mr Krabs?


castledanger61

And Mr. Crabs wanted to date Ms. Puff… she woulda ate him up😂


kalwiggy1

We've all seen what that mouth can do. Krabs wanted the nut.


castledanger61

If Mr. Crabs wanted that nut he should’ve went to sandy cheeks


bendover912

They fill with water when they puff up, so if you get them out of the water un-puffed, you should be good to hold them.


chocliq

That’s probably really not good for the fish. If they get stressed and puff up when they are out of water, they suck in air instead and can have trouble expelling it. As far as safely handling a puffer from a human perspective, they don’t all have spines and they aren’t toxic to touch, just to eat. This particular puffer is an Mbu puffer, it technically has spines but they are underneath its skin. The spines of any puffer are not toxic or venomous though, just ouchy


boredguy12

Like a hedgehog, but with more revenge


SlappaDaBassMahn

In Australia they are an invasive species and it is illegal to throw them back. They have toxins so its best to bang them on the floor until they die and come off the hook then throw them on the bank. Or cut the line and throw them on the bank to suffocate. Sounds bad, but what they do to the ecosystem is much worse


ComteDeSaintGermain

At least you can use it to brew a potion of underwater breathing


PSUSkier

I would imagine needle nose pliers.


manowtf

So. It's safe to pet?


dalmn99

They have a pretty friendly reputation as pets


madprofessor8

And they have quite the personality! We were a the Hampton Inn in Myrtle Beach, SC, and they had one of these!! He would swim and follow people around when they got close to the tank, he'd follow hands. He'd come and look at you when you got real close. Very pretty.


1TrueKnight

"he'd follow hands." Umm... After watching thus video, you sure he wasn't looking to take some fingers as a snack?


madprofessor8

Yeah, this is terrifying. Anyone that's been pinched by a crab, or opened one for their delicious insides, knows -- they aren't soft. I wouldn't bite one with my teeth or anything. But in the fish's defense, crabs are assholes. I like eating crabs and alligators because they're tasty and fuck them.


BillSelfsMagnumDong

>I like eating crabs and alligators because they're tasty and fuck them. You lost me at fucking them


gljivicad

My dude really hates the alligators lol


abugguy

I took care of one of these for my job. It got impatient during a feeding once and came out of the water and latched onto my knuckle. Still have the scar 10 years later.


What_Do_It

After watching this I'm surprised you still had a knuckle afterward.


abugguy

Not that it takes much there but he definitely clamped down right onto my bone. I had cocktail shrimp out which I was holding and feeding the other animals and I think he was surprised when he bit into me that it was hard and not a shrimp and so he sort of let go after a second or two.I was doing a feeding demonstration with people right next to me so I had to casually wrap my finger in some paper towels to hide all of the blood until I finished up and could sneak away.


HearMeRoar69

You must love your job. If it were me, I would be immediately running around like a headless chicken, screaming.


abugguy

I got jabbed by a Lionfish during a feeding and that did end in me immediately running to the back haha.


mrhappy893

Sheesh... OP already said the fish bit his knuckle, not his head... Smh


Dragonace1000

Had the exact same thing happen with a green moray. Used to feed him daily at my job and went on vacation for a long weekend. No one fed him while I was gone, so when I got back and went to drop the feeder fish in his tank, he got overzealous and came out of the water and got the tip of my finger and I felt those needle teeth instantly go down to the bone. Had he not come out of the water and had I not dropped the fish on his face (which he immediately went after), I don't think he would have let go.


abugguy

Similar thing happened to me except I was halfway through my vacation when my boss called and asked what happened to our snowflake eel. I asked WTF he was talking about. He said it’s gone… it definitely wasn’t when I left. Well I sent him back and he eventually found in underneath the tank. :( it went carpet surfing


Swizzchee

They'll eat all kinds of insects spiders and centipedes etc without prejudice https://youtu.be/rTWcmzjnydo


BorgClown

If it crunch it'll munch.


DeckerR

I had no idea puffers were so nasty. They look like a little Kirby in the water.


ZippyDan

There are many kinds of puffer fish. Check out dog-faced puffers.


boostedjoose

https://youtu.be/RRLegovKPlA?t=19 For the curious


vraid

Pufferfish are basically swimming tanks. Their prey isn't fast, so they're built for maneuverability rather than speed. And, lacking speed, they've built a [serious set of armor](https://www.deepseanews.com/2018/12/you-should-definitely-know-about-pufferfish-skeletons/) in order to escape predation.


panupatc

It shook that scorpion pretty hard... because it fought back I wonder?


bmacnz

There's something disconcerting about the scorpion going apeshit to fight back. Like imagine it reacting like that to your hand or something.


damnatio_memoriae

good god that centipede was huge.


Sevla7

Went down like pasta if it wasn't underwater we would hear a "mamma mia"


I_can_vouch_for_that

Holy fuck, each victim was worse than the previous one.


ShinCoal

Nah fuck that shit, giant Centipedes are way worse than the two after.


NeighGiga

Agreed lol. The sheer legginess is enough to send me into orbit.


melankoholisti

Not even the legginess. They have hell of a bite.


NeighGiga

I’ll have to take your word for it. I’m currently running at top speed in the opposite direction


mrbadassmotherfucker

That's so fucked up. Send me more


SlowlyTowardsTheCake

If crabs could scream, the ocean would be loud as shit


asshatnowhere

Money money money mon- AGHHHG


MrchntMariner86

This takes on a *whole* new level/twist when you realize Eugene Krabs tried to *date* Mrs. Puff, like weird-ass porn/fetish level.


gaypornaccount1996

Mrs. Puff voring Mr. Krabs. This is the most confident I've been in a long time that maybe rule 34 *can* be disproven. I'll report back with my findings Edit: couldn't find anything with a search engine but someone ik on discord found something after a little digging


Chuunt

So you’re just going to say that and NOT post it? What kind of monster….


CoffeeandBacon

And?


gaypornaccount1996

😓


Cloaked42m

People forget Rule 35.. "And if it doesn't exist, someone will make it."


ktoddk99

[Instantly thought of this](https://youtu.be/AJ4H4fHUmBA)


flower_eyes

I love that


yomjoseki

Probably because they were referencing that video


gomihako_

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM6IEMSf_jc


Lildoc_911

Money on my mother fucking mind, cut five haircuts at the same time.


YippieKayYayMrFalcon

Ahhhhh shit! I thought I looked like that rock!


friggintodd

I got so much tartar I don't have to dip my fish sticks in shit.


Used-Towel5687

prop hunt irl


Chappin

RIP Mitch (I know its not the quote, but its close)


woo545

Was the crunch not loud enough?


transboymeetsworld

I remember reading somewhere that crabs/fish/all sea life make noises, it’s just difficult to for us to hear because it’s on different frequencies. The ocean is incredibly loud, just not to us :)))


fighterpilot248

Thanks to a bajillion giant cargo ships, the ocean is loud for us too 🤗


TaureanDude45

Fun Fact; Pufferfish, rather than having normal individual teeth like most of the animal kingdom, have horseshoe shaped plates that are specially designed for obliterating shelled creatures like this unfortunate crab. In other words, yes. Spongebob was right, pufferfish absolutely will kill a crab on sight.


jexxijane

That episode where Mr Krabs and Ms Puff date is super awkward now.


M1L0

She was eating that booty like groceries


iSpccn

How do you delete someone's comment?


Nilosyrtis

How do you animate someone's comment?


MASTODON_ROCKS

He's a very sweet man


Embarrassed-Town-293

That's pretty cool, I still can't help but think eating a crab like this it would be like eating a light bulb


y2k2

If the light bulb was full of muscle.


RJ815

That analogy makes it worse lol.


DSP6969

We evolve to get dopamine hits from activities that improved our chance to survive and pass on our genes. So did this puffer fish. I bet crunching up that crab was as enjoyable to him as a gourmet burger would be to us.


99NamesOfHastur

specially evolved*


balzackgoo

Also, their teeth don't stop growing, so they have to eat hard shell stuff or their teeth will get too long and cause issues.


gokusfart

That fish looks like it was smiling after it just devoured it. Damn that's insane!


Hello_Hooray

Crab - 😫 Puffer - 😃


TylerNY315_

https://i.imgur.com/wniKAYs.jpg


Lil_Word_Said

Hahah i thought i was the only one who saw that! He was like “heh” 😏


swivels_and_sonar

“You’re next if you come in here.” — 🐟


garciasn

Flaps his little fins all happy because he’s at the all you can eat crab buffet at the casino and he’s winning.


carmium

He's a puffer. They all smile like that.


Swizzchee

They'll eat all kinds of insects spiders and centipedes etc without prejudice https://youtu.be/rTWcmzjnydo


spider7895

He sucked in that centipede like spaghetti.


shoe-veneer

Naw, he crunched the centipede, he sucked down the snake like sgetti. And he look at least 2 scorpion stings to the face and didn't give a single fuck.


Toodlez

Absolute kirby


naux13

Damn, never knew puffer fish has such strong teeth


multiversalnobody

They specialized in eating hard bodied prey.


Iwearacapeirl

I'm never exercising again.


ChoobScape

beak\*


Swizzchee

They'll eat all kinds of insects spiders and centipedes etc without prejudice https://youtu.be/rTWcmzjnydo


rushboyoz

That centipede at the last moment getting a "face to face" with the pufferfish. "Oh hey! U delish btw."


wap2005

"Well that's good to kn...."


soulstonedomg

Well, today I learned that pufferfish are fucking gnarly.


Rootkit9208

Much of life in the ocean has evolved to have difficult to pierce shells. Pufferfish have evolved to crush them while smiling.


Gopnikolai

That is fucking vile


eh_close_enough

how many times are you going to post this link lol


obroz

Wtfffffff


SilkyBush

[This makes so much more sense now](https://www.reddit.com/r/instant_regret/comments/uvchmm/putting_your_finger_inside_the_puffer_fish/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)


Fat_Head_Carl

Fisherman here... They was really dumb


ViciousAsparagusFart

Also fisherman. That’s like… definitely in the top 5 of what not to do’s.


Fat_Head_Carl

Seriously, that little spiky fucker is set of bolt cutters with fins.


[deleted]

[удалено]


niccolo1305

Can you please tell me what are the other in the top 5 so i can avoid doing stupid shit?


ViciousAsparagusFart

Hmmm lemme think of some. Look around before you start fucking casting! You are way more likely to hook someone around you then you are, yourself. And that shit fucking hurts. Don’t leave shore without an oar. Just in case your engine dies. (Nowadays just have an account with SeaTow. It’s easier and you’re not a boat mechanic) “Don’t forget your fooking rope” -Boondock Saints. Good to tie off to something if need be. Just should be on a boat. Solid water proof tool box. Make sure you throw a knife in there just in case. Water water everywhere but not a drop to drink. (Self explanatory)


Makkaroni_100

What did he expect... I wouldnt have the idea even if it would be mostly safe to Stick your Finger in the mouth of an animal.


BuckNasty89

This makes so much LESS sense now


AllRushMixtape

This kills the crab.


ChymChymX

I'm still holding out hope.


qervem

How can you tell if the crab dies when it doesn't even wear shoes?


old_ironlungz

The puffer was an off duty brazilian cop.


disillusioned

[This kills the crab.](https://i.imgur.com/42CTqmv.png)


a_kept_harold

I’m old enough to remember when this meme first got shown around.


disillusioned

I use it out of context all the time. It gets a laugh basically never.


Readvoter

All my life I’ve been walking sideways because I never had anything to look forward to.


SHOCK_VALUE_USERNAME

:(


Megaxzeo

Scrolled for this post. Thanks brah <3


MauiWowieOwie

Honestly as far as crab deaths this isn't the worst, it's pretty quick. Was watching a BBC earth clip on that island with the millions of red crabs that march to the sea. Millions aren't making it there because of a massive infestation of yellow crazy ants that have no natural predators there. They will swarm all over a crab spitting acid into its face and eyes. It'll wander around disoriented not being able to find food or water or the sea. Eventually it'll collapse and then ants will begin to carve it up to take it back to the nest. I'd like to hope it's dead before they do that.


data_now

If I were those other fish, I would be trying to get the fuck out of there.


joecacti22

The one behind the puffer at around the 20 second mark looks like it’s really trying to.


Tommy_C

Oh shit get the fuck outta here! What are you doing? Go, get the fuck outta here you stupid idiot! Fuck, we're all dead! Get the fuck out!


fizzybong

Pork chop sandwiches!


munk_e_man

Stop all the downloadin


theVice

Awwh hell naw what's up dawg


chaos8803

Last one there's a penis pump!


xrayphoton

G.I. JOOEEEEE!!!


jamesGastricFluid

BODY MASSAGE


chrisfarleyfanclub

PORKCHOP SANDWICHES!!!


hellslave

It's doing the Travolta Pulp Fiction meme.


RuthlessNate56

This dude looks to be a Mbu Puffer, the largest species of freshwater puffer. They typically have no interest in eating fish so long as they have a nice steady diet of hard-shelled foods. These smaller fish likely eat like kings compared to fish in most other aquariums by eating the little tiny bits this guy leaves behind.


Sharp-Ad-4392

Damn, bro ate the peel and all…


mrnoonan81

I've had soft crabs on not l more than one occasion. You eat the peel on those too.


MisterDonkey

Softshell crab is absolutely the most delicious thing I've ever eaten.


Annoying-Anal-Nugget

Seeing the crabs eyes instantly tuck into itself when it was bit in half was fucking brutal


bwoods519

I’m so conflicted, because I love puffers, but I love crabs too.


wgc123

Stupid puffer forgot the Old Bay seasoning


SamiRcd

Found the guy from Maryland


limitlessEXP

If you love crabs then do I got an offer for you…


skinnyminou

These types of videos are so interesting but I also get so upset for the animal that's being eaten. Especially when it's not a fast death like this and you see it struggle :(


2ilent8cho

They make me feel sad when they have no chance. It's like when they feed alive mice to snakes in tanks, it has zero chance, at least in the wild it may have a chance of escape or might narrowly miss and live another day.


innocuousremark

Poor thing lost some legs, which was probably very painful, and took one last desparate sprint for its life, but it was into glass.


peanutputterbunny

I think it's also beceause it's an unfair fight for the crab. In the wild they get a chance to fight back / escape but these videos are pretty cruel as it's just stuck in a tank with it's predator. Captive puffers can be fed any variety of non-live food but that just doesn't get views on TikTok. 🤷


ptapobane

circle of life that shit and love both equally


kkehoe5

It’s ok, we will just [make more crabs](https://youtu.be/WpNeoxFOLcI) at the crab factory.


vaper_32

I will keep my hands atleast a meter away from the fish tank.. if it chee through crab within a sec, i dont want to find out what would happen to my hands..


Hurlbag

What the hell that crab totally fell apart... had no idea Puffer fish had a fricking shell-destroying beak. TIL.


meinthebox

They can crush clams like potato chips. Crab shell is easy mode.


extality

The way it tried to panically swim away with 3 limbs missing after the first munch. That was brutal.


Calvin0433

I kinda feel bad for the crab. You can see the fear it had when it’s arm got bit off


sexybalfy

Man it was so sad, his little legs trying to run away thinking he could survive :(


Ooze3d

You can actually see it die when the fish grabs its whole body and suddenly there’s like a quarter left. This motherfucker is metal.


Whyrobotslie

Faces of death


heyKwesi7

DAMN NATURE YOU SCARY!


Funkytadualexhaust

I'm Brian Fellows?


SookHe

I know this is 'nature' and happens every moment of every day, but I feel sad for the little crab anyways.


skilledwarman

If anyone wants to know more about this species of puffer check out the Youtube channel Aquarium Co-Op. They're an aquatics hobby shop that has one (not for sale) in their store named Murphy and he's *huge*. Also the tank they keep him in is way cooler https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmhrliELeEw


eklee38

Mrs. Puff vs Mr. Krabs Rip Mr. Krabs


blaisepascal2937

He's so delighted to murder the fuck out of that crab. The crab lost a claw and was like "oh shit oh shit oh shit" trying to scuttle away and dude literally bit him in half with a smile.


Mynamethisisnot

Damn. Poor crab, he panicked.


joltik_tok

Mbu puffer. The largest freshwater puffer at over 2 feet long. They need hard shelled foods to whittle their ever growing teeth down. Those teeth also give them a goofy grin, especially while they pulverize shellfish. Puffers in general have excellent vision, so they're good at recognizing that people bring them food like at the video's start.


iamtehstig

All puffers are vicious hunters as well. I have a few Pea Puffers in a tank. You get a sense that they are incredibly intelligent as they pick apart their prey (in this case their prey is pond snails that were taking over one of my other tanks).


JBrushertphotography

I kinda feel bad for the crab, but hey circle of life


Chachilicious

The poor guy just got ripped apart alive. I'd say it's reasonable to feel bad for him. I mean that mustn't tickle


Hobbesaurus

Crabs are the asshole goats of the sea. They eat anything and would do the same to anything smaller than them if given the opportunity.


RaceHard

You may want to watch the latest Love death and Robots on netflix.


DIYW

Phaedin Island...


Carto404

:(


Vogel-Kerl

Crab's like: *'Oh boy! A new home. I hope to make new friends; endless possibilities."* *"Oh hi, are your my new frien...XXX!! What?! Help!! God no!!?"*


triflin_fellow

His eyes got so big after the first bite :(


Vaff_Superstar

He was trying so hard to get away!


Long_Educational

Frantically.


Goes_Fast

me in middle school


mingusdisciple

What a horrific death


jleonardbc

/r/thomasthedankengine


cain071546

Puffer fish are cool.


nomadofwaves

[Their mouth](https://i.imgur.com/9mbVoQr.jpg)


Jackmat2424

Yeah it’s how it happens in nature and all, but don’t pet keepers usually euthanize prey animals before feeding their pets? To limit unnecessary suffering? Or is it just personal preference


iamtehstig

Some puffers won't eat prey that isn't alive unfortunately. I have much smaller fish than this, but they ignore anything but live snails.


Mecha-Dave

I just watched Love, Death, and Robots and I do not feel bad about this.


soulstonedomg

Oh thanks for reminding me about the new season!