By - Azsnee09
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!He cooked the pigeon on a hair straightener!<
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Man's lived in jail
My first thought too.
He didn't show the toilet bowl hunch punch.
He’s just demonstrating the engineering skills that anybody with too much time on their hands seem to develop.
Dick muppets are a penitentiary favorite.
What the fuck? How come I wasn’t informed of dick muppets when I was locked up <:(
Were you, per chance, busy being a dick sack?
You can't just say "perchance"
We think of Mario as a hero, but in reality is a one-percenter of a more privileged variety. The lifekind. Perchance.
This how you get mad >:(
No thanks, I'm full.
The keetle cooking thing is a common in a jail.
Dare I ask what a toilet bowl hunch punch is? It sounds like a fighting move like a filipino prison rush
That’s old school shit they done upgraded it’s in mop buckets now
You have to be a true alcoholic or degenerate to drink that stuff.
I need a shirt like that for my park walks.
I feed the pigeons, I sometimes feed the sparrows too. It gives me a sense of enormous wellbeing.
That under shirt alone tells me that
The Stella wifebeater
I’m living in a caravan and I’m learning a lot from these jail-folks.
Definitely made a few cookups in his day. I know people thatve made orange chicken, pad Thai and cakes in jail
“Haha. Birds don’t have to worry about inflatiOH GOD”
I too thought he was helping out the economy stricken birds with a free lunch.
Turns out, there’s no such thing.
> no such thing.
a fellow enlightened one
Birds are drones.
Tasty drones. Just be careful you don't swallow the camera.
But that's how you get the free colonoscopy.
The other birds got a free lunch if you don't count the existential horror of watching your bird friend get kidnapped.
It the product (feed) seems free… you are the product.
Oh god your comment was the first good laugh I’ve had this week. If I weren’t poor I would reward you but hopefully a Good Samaritan redditor comes along because sweet lord I did laugh
The laugh was enough. Happy I helped.
To be fair, pigeons have been breed by humanity to be so fat they actually have red meat on them. Them’s good eatin’.
Somehow they’re also absurdly fast birds, especially for their size. And they were cliff dwellers, which just means our cities are pretty much their natural habitats.
Is this what American's call "City Chicken"?? I've seen it on menus when I was traveling through the colonies, but never ordered it as it sounded revolting.
*when I was traveling through the colonies*
I can assure you that some things have changed since 1788.
But, alas, precious little has. When last I went a-wandering along the extreme western frontier of these colonies, I found that very little of substance had changed since my previous visit in the 1780s. Oh, sure, the edge of this frontier has moved from what were then called the Indiana and Ohio territories all the way to the Pacific shore of the American continent… yet, I found that my visit to California a few years ago had much in common with my stay in Ohio back in 1788.
I wintered in a strange frontier town called Los Angeles. I fell in with a group of French trappers. We consulted an Indian guide in Pasadena before proceeding North along an ancient hunting trail known to the locals as “The Five.” My compatriots shot a bear just outside of Bakersfield and we subsisted on salted bacon and smoked salmon. Our wagon broke down before we got to Oakland and the expedition had to be canceled, but all-in-all, it was very much like 1788, very much like Ohio.
You better be fucking British, buddy.
I didn’t like that
My sister ain't gonna like it either when I send it to her
Why did this make me laugh so much
because you are both pos and this is why I like you all
Had me in the first half
Can I also send it to her?
How do you send vids from Reddit?
Just share the link. Whether the video player works or not when they receive that link however is based on pure luck.
You can also save the video to your device and then send it so they don't have to deal with a link
It was a quail he ate. He got it at a store.
Not the pigeon.
Yeah. I figured because he didn’t show the most important things - how the fuck do you catch a bird that is that fast? And, I mean, the feathers and shit.
Wait until you learn people do this to cats and dogs when hungry.
Where do they find such a big pringles tube?
The diameter of Pringle cans is way too small
Two radiuses of a Pringle can is way too small
If you feel me, put your hands up, come on!
If you feel me, put your hands up
Look at all these hands that are way too big to fit inside a Pringle can
Your hands are too big to fit inside of Pringle cans
Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can
You think you can, I know you can't, you think you can
I can't just read this and not go back and watch that legendary finale.
*I hope you're happy*
King of the Hobos
Leader of bums
That guy looks exactly like the kinda guy who would do exactly what he did. Somehow the Stella is exceptionally fitting.
And so do you. You just don't realize it yet. Our time is coming.
I hate that I laughed at this.
I'm praying that's a quail. But it really does look like pigeon to me.
Pigeon was imported to the US a long time ago for an easily accessible food source. I have eaten a wild pigeon (squab) many times. Excellent. But I would never, and I repeat NEVER eat a city pigeon. Fleas and lice make them parasitic and inedible.
Looked like a Cornish hen. Meat was too white to be squab.
It's too small. Cornish hens also have way bigger breasts. And have absolutely no wing. Those wings are pigeon wings. I was joking about quail. They are dark dark meat and very small. Mostly just a dove breast and a teeny leg. Not much else.
He definitely got his hands on a squab. I'm praying it was store or farm bought
The lice and flea bit is actually a common urban myth. Pigeons are just fine when you hit the wall, city or country. Not so sure I would go for the ones you see from time to time that are filthy from going under cars though. They aren't any more infested than any other bird. Pigeons get a bad rap because the have the indecency to refuse to be scared of us. Same with gulls. There is the issue that they live on our waste though but then so do we more than we realize.
Again, I wouldn't for pleasure but when things really hit the fan and there is little choice being realistic will be advantageous. Trouble will be that there will be a lot of competition though.
I owned pigeons. Even in clean invironments they do get lice and it is very common. They also can have any number of bacterial infections which is what I'd be more concerned about that the lice. The birds that are in the wild are also extremely likely to spread infections to treated domesticated birds if they get tinto your loft because they ALWAYS have something.
That being said, once they are cleaned and cooked you're probably fine. Idk. Eating street birds is sketchy as fuck and this guy is cooking with a curling iron in a Pringle can.
>Eating street birds is sketchy as fuck and this guy is cooking with a curling iron in a Pringle can
dude fr, wtf. 💀
Idk I read somewhere that those birds on the ground and are slow/easy to catch are riddled with diseases. Pretty sure he got a store-bought bird though 🤞
I’d like to just add wild boar and pig have probably twice if not more the viral load of bacteria and viruses in them than a pigeon.
Source; my butcher friend who never touches pork because of the aforementioned disgustingness of them.
I agree with the sentiment, but doubt that it’s fleas and lice that would make them not good to eat. Probably more along the lines of bioaccumulated toxins from city pollution.
And intestinal parasites.
So how did you trap it?
Put bread on my penis.
With a shotgun !
You can buy wild pigeon, or a wood pigeon here in the UK, I doubt he would actually eat a feral pigeon.
That's what I was thinking. What does it do to you?
Gave me crabs twice, mercury poison the third time.
Gotta stop fuckin them pigeons, man. Those filthy beggars go port to port.
It wasn't a pigeon because there's much too much meat on it.
Birds in the wild are usually most bones and intestines. And some flesh on the bones.
Also pegion meat is red not white
I thought cornish hen.
Pigeon would be dumb to eat off streets anyway. Same with city squirrels....they could be infested with anything.
...call for desperate measures.
...fall to disparate pleasures.
Now now. We don't wanna go to that route yet
Careless Whispers then?
There's people are there eating rats; so why not flying rats too?
Columba livia domestica.
He’s got the idea, I’ll give him that much.
Agreed. Not my jam but now I’ve seen it, and now I know. Juuuuust in case shit goes down.
I actually wonder whether or not you can eat street pidgeons now. These fuckers are a blight on every major city. If we'd hunt them it would certainly teach them a lesson to stay the fuck away.
They're vermin, cooked or not you don't want to be digesting any part of them
But people eat shrimp so…..
Definitely not true. Pigeons were introduced to America as a source of food. They’re eaten in a lot of different countries. Many high end restaurants serve it. It’s called squab on a menu
Nah, pigeon is actually good. It also has an all-year hunting season.
Are you out of your gourd, my son? Pigeon is the trash dumpster of the sky. Absolutely shiite meat.
Wood pigeon is nice. These street pigeons naa
Yeah, I actually agree with you, but dove and English house sparrows are better.
I always thought doves and pigeons are the same thing, just different colors and size
I always though lions and pigeons were the same thing, just different colours and sizes
I googled and they are the same thing but just different size and colors. I know it sounded like I was talking out of my ass and just comparing birds. Someone told me that when they gave me a dove so I was on the fence if it was true or not.
Sure you can identify birds but I bet you don't know shit about bird law.
You think you know about birds? Name every bird.
Chickens. Turkeys. Big Bird. The bird.
Thats Fred. Other there is Billy and Marco. Haven't seen Jan in a while. The next one we see is Tommy.
I'm well versed in bird law, now let's say you and I go toe-to-toe on bird law and see who comes out the victim.
Same family of birds, doves are a bit smaller, pigeons a bit bigger. You are correct in your assumption.
There are many species of dove, the pigeon is called a rock dove (or more accurately the other way around). I wouldn't eat one from the city but it in the forest, totally.
That carcass looks a lot bigger than any dove though, they do not have much meat. It's likely a quail or grouse maybe.
Glad I live in the bush and can just bootfuck a partridge into the oven…tasty bird…
>Are you out of your gourd, my son?
This will now be my go-to saying to express disbelief in someone else
Lobster is the trash dumpster of the sea.
Ernest Hemingway ate the London Hyde Park pigeons when he was a young struggling writer
Well damn if its good enough for Ernest Hemingway its good enough for me. I’ll skip the curling iron and go for a stove or fire though.
Pigeon is good. City pigeons aren’t. This dude eating city pigeons 🤢
visit my country and I will feed u roasted quail and pigeon porridge. They are actually good
In your country those pigeons are probably grain fed and not given anything harmful.
In our country pigeons eat toxic trash and a bunch of other nasty shit making them poisonous
Yeah, we have pigeon farms here and you can raise them at home too.
You can raise them in America too, Mike Tyson famously did. An eccentric New Yorker raising carrier pigeons on a rooftop is a trope in American media.
Always hated that John Wick had that trope thrown in just because
I guess you could say it’s fowl
More like hungry filled
You know, in Venezuela, a couple of years back, zebra was stolen from zoo for meet
A meet and greet for a zebra? Shut up and take my money!
Meat. Fucking autocorrect.
A real legend, comments on the comment instead of editing it.
This is the most ratchet thing I've ever seen
That's so sad, you should really go and see your mother then, she misses you.
After the third divorce he was like there’s gotta be a better way.
I think he’s done it, boys.
You just stop caring after a certain point.
Maybe cut back on the Stella. Isn’t it like 14 for a 6 pack? Some expensive beer for cheap dinner.
Are you fucking kidding me? [Squab](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squab#:~:text=In%20culinary%20terminology%2C%20squab%20is,%22loose%2C%20fat%20flesh%22.) is a fucking delicacy. Man is literally eating like royalty. Stella is a fine accompaniment.
> Man is literally eating like royalty
*Me, watching man cook a suspicious bird skewered on a hair-dryer inside an empty Pringles can, visibly confused*
Hey now, he didn't say *what* royalty
Perhaps I was too quick to judge. I suppose I could see this being standard practise among Raccoon Royalty.
The cooking method is perfectly valid, assuming everything is clean.
Consider: that curling iron will heat to almost boiling, and squab only has to be medium rare, medium *at most.* That's what, 145°F internal, I believe. Further, it cooks fast, and won't fry off all the juices and flavor.
Then he puts it in a Pringles can, with aluminum foil on the inside. That keeps the hot side hot and the cool side cool. It also keeps the juices contained. The only real downside is that since it's reflecting heat back to the inside, you take a chance on the bird being overcooked. And you'll notice that it's rather overdone as he eats.
Hell, the only thing keeping this from being a professional setup is a little bit of dress up.
If someone were to make a cooking implement like this just a little bit more trimmed out, Ron Popeil would rise from the grave and sell it on late night tv for $49.99.
145°F is equivalent to 62°C, which is 335K.
^(I'm a bot that converts temperature between two units humans can understand, then convert it to Kelvin for bots and physicists to understand)
It’s one of those culture gaps you hear about.
Where are you buying your beer for it to cost that much bro lol
This guys in Europe probably pretty cheap
Yeah lol I can get 10 cans for £10, I’m probably just very sheltered and didn’t realise it costs a lot more in the states
Shits called "wifebeater" in the UK. This dude represents the average stella drinker.
[Behold](https://shop.prikentikzele.be/?product=stella-artois-regular-24x25cl), in Belgium you can get 6 liter of stella for €15.11 minus €4.50 euro you get back when returning the crate and glass bottles. That's $11.57 (VAT included)
But because this guy lives in Scotland:[4.4 liter of stella](https://www.sparscotland.co.uk/product/beer-prem-lagers/stella-artois-belgium-premium-lager-beer-cans-10-x-440ml/693008A) for £11.79, which is $12.86
In Europe, stella is not some expensive premium beer, in the UK it is associated with [the lower class and domestic violence](https://www.independent.co.uk/tech/lobbying-company-tried-to-wipe-out-wife-beater-beer-references-6284622.html)
6£ for 6 last I was in UK but that was at least a decade ago.
This is some Charlie and frank shit
But that fishnet tho
It boutta make me act up
Honestly this is the closest I’ve seen a guy get to “pulling off” a mesh tank top.
This makes me laugh so hard idk y
It was funny that's why
that penetration was unexpected but titillating nonetheless
This man fucks.
. . .Stray dogs
Damn Boris Johnson being a sigma male
How do we all know exactly how to use that word despite noone actually knowing what it means?
That's not a hair straightener, it's a hair curler.
With a hair straightener, he could have cooked the pigeon George Foreman -grill style
TIL my heated dildo can also curl my hair!
Pigeon meat is darker than this. That is quail.
I’m surprised he didn’t choke on the computer chip
I think the camera wires from the head haul it out.
Alternatively you could capture some female pigeons and eat the eggs they lay. Big brain long term solutions ftw.
This made me laugh so much idkw
what's that prison cooking?
The mesh shirt is a nice touch.
I felt that this whole video was just aggressively Slavic.
That includes the mesh shirt.
If you’ve seen my posts you’ll se why my reaction to this is … 😳
Why do I feel that this guy is a Brit?
It look likes Britain prime minister
£2 B&M bowl couldve been a giveaway
That man is okay in my book
Urban Bear Grylls
I remember watching a mr bean ep in which he and his gf didn’t have anything to eat so they captured a pigeon and ate it
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Let’s talk about his outfit
He felt cool in the 80s and stayed there
did he actually?
how'd he catch it?
Free range poultry as it gets
If my guy was American, he would be from South Carolina.