The institution of arranged marriage is very transactional in nature. Plus it's been like that since ages,not that it justifies this. A lot of profiles that you see on the matrimonial sites (related to this particular case)is that of the typical 'homely' girl who if earning, earns around 4-6 lakhs per annum, but is mostly freelancing and sporadic and a guy with either a good package or generational wealth. Both of these parties know what they are signing up for. The guy knows that this is the kind of woman who'll probably agree to leave her job either after marriage or after kids and probably agree to live with her inlaws. The girl knows that this is the guy who will keep her financially secure. The girl has probably been fed the idea since a very young age.

It's so disgusting how these men want a homely girl who will destroy her career or future opportunities for him or have no career at all but they don't want to ensure her financial security if he ended up divorcing him. As long as the guy is comfortable they don't care about what slthe girl will do after wasting her life on him. After divorce whatever she did has no value and she is all by herself. Her parents will just say that she had a bad luck and leave her like that. Most probably he won't even take responsibility of children or will throw them on someone else. And also these same men will expect the girl's parents to give bag full of dowry but ofcourse that's not gold digging

Exactly my point, you can't crib about the transactional nature of it when you consciously signed up for it. After divorce, this girl won't magically end up with a job. Most of these entitles guys are more attracted to the idea of being married and the societal acceptance that comes with living the characteristic "hum do humare do" life.

I definitely get that. Every parent asks their girl to go for a high paying/govt job guy and every guy is asked to seek a girl who is beautiful. That's just how arranged marriages work. But I've also seen people who make the best out of this situation. It's possible for a lot of people today, especially in tier 1 and 2 cities, to actually get to know the person they're marrying. Talking to your would-be spouse before getting married is not looked down upon now. My gripe is with men who create such situations out of thin air and then behave like every single woman is out there for him and his property.

>My gripe is with men who create such situations out of thin air and then behave like every single woman is out there for him and his property Exactly. That's why I said that prior to the marriage, both the parties know what they are signing up for. All the while the girl is taking care of the kids and parents, this transaction is valid to them, the minute it's a divorce situation that help is forgotten. This argument again goes back to the age old problem of how the work of housemaker is undervalued. My mother has 3 degrees to her name, she chose to be a housemaker. While I agree that a choice is important, I do try to make her realise that this choice too was based on certain societal norms, I am sure while taking all these degrees she never thought of becoming a homemaker!

Sometimes the man, sometimes his family. A cousin is married into a fake-liberal (but actually conservative) wealthy family. Her own family was/is educated, genteel upper middle class but nowhere near as rich. It was a love marriage. It's been 25 years, multiple kids, gone through all of life's ups and downs together, and she is still treated like a massive gold-digger by his family. Her MIL had a big stroke and was incapacitated. All her adult children and their children stayed the hell away from her. Her 'gold-digger' bahu did all the seva, staying all nights, taking care of her, arranging all meals, overseeing her physio-therapy etc, but as soon as the MIL got a bit better, she started calling her other sons and daughters and bitched about my cousin openly. They rushed over enmasse so that the 'gold-digger' doesn't get her hands on anything. It's a sick, patriarchal mindset that is openly anti-woman. If men are so afraid of marrying a 'gold-digger', let them marry someone of their own financial status. No need to suffer suspicions or torture the woman endlessly.

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Desi men: its the MANS job to be a provider and women wanting a career is a western import Also Desi men: what if this woman from a village with no formal education wants me for my money??!!?! Also Desi men, again: why are men always expected to be the provider :( boo hoo :( Desi men when told to try for a woman his income level: why would i do that

Boy’s family trying to upsell him: we have lots of property and riches. Girl marries for money and security. Intends to benefit from said property and riches. Boy and family: shocked Pikachu face. I mean am I supposed to sympathise with people like this?! Why do a majority of Indian men who opt for arranged marriage love to act like some sort of a victim when nothing’s even happened yet?! The property is not even his, it’s his father’s who’s still alive and well. If he’s so scared of his potential wife using him to usurp all his hypothetical property, then maybe he should stay single. Problem solved.

And all this while, he's not countering in the fact that he's not a sole heir. He has a brother. And we all know how much kalesh happens around property between brothers in an Indian household. That's what he should be seeking legal advice about -_-

Yikes! I feel for the poor woman who’s going to get duped into marrying such a piece of work!

I don't understand. They want ones who are low earning, not that motivated or ambitious regarding their career or expect she will leave her job after the marriage. And also they want that in case this girl wants to be divorced/ separation my generational wealth should stay safe and i don't have to give alimony. I MEAN WHAT THE HECK DO THEY WANT?!!! COWS???

But that's exactly what they want. A woman who has basically no cognitive abilities and who would be easy to manipulate. Not quite unlike a cow.

I agree with the sentiment but Some women are just a product of this society. Trained from birth to be submissive. Calling them ‚not quite unlike cows’ is a bit insensitive.

I'm sorry it came across that way. I didn't mean to call anyone a cow. I just meant that's just what men aspire for in a relationship.

I agree with your sentiment. Infact they ve been saying it for years. Humari ladki to gaay hai gaay. As if its some sort of compliment. This is why I called it out, no hard feelings.

Cows are lovely. Big soft eyes and a docile nature. That's the similarity. I don't know why it's considered an insult really.

OP is clearly talking about cows with regards to their cognitive abilities not their soft nature

Yes, and I'm standing up for the cowz. They not dumb.

Haha. Go for it.

>My gripe is with men who create such situations out of thin air and then behave like every single woman is out there for him and his property. Yes, but with working thumbs, otherwise doing housework will be hard.

they want low earning / non ambitious girl from family which has similar wealth

Unfortunately, ladies, this is the case with most marriages in India. You can opt for a love marriage but that will not save you. Let me show you some examples. 1. Arranged Marriage- This man is a huge business tycoon in my city, owns many luxury cars and a huge mansion in a posh part of town. His wife left him a few years ago owing to the terrible financial abuse he put her through, because he was scared of her being a gold digger. Her family paid a hefty dowry + her in-laws and husband didn't "allow" her to work when they were together. She took care of his parents, him and their 2 kids- cooked all the meals and managed every part of their life. Her husband gave all his income to his mother and they only "allowed" her to use ₹5,000 for groceries and her personal expenses. Yes, you heard that right. He would take away her phone every time he got mad at her because he bought her the phone so it was technically his. Throughout their marriage of 21 years, this man never bought her a single piece of valuable jewellery or anything remotely expensive. Ironically enough, his 2 sons, despite moving away with their mom, have retained his attitude of hating women and thinking all women are after their money, despite them not having any and living in a 1bhk with their mom and maternal grandparents. 2. Dating- This man was an ex of my friend's. They went 50/50 from date one and he was of the same breed. He believed that if women are equal, men should not have to pay a single penny for their wives despite being the ones who get pregnant for 9 months, give birth, breastfeed and do most of the emotional labour and care work. One day, a year into their 50/50 relationship, they went to Subway. She forgot her wallet. This man bought his own sub and left her hungry. A stranger offered to buy her the sub instead. Imagine, a man being so afraid of a woman being a gold digger that he refused to pay ₹200 for a Subway sandwich. Safe to say, she broke up with him soon after that. 3. A good arranged marriage- This couple got married a good 40 years ago. The wife chose not to work and the man's family took no dowry. He treated her extremely well since day 1 and paid for all her necessities and luxuries. When they bought their first house, he put it on the wife's name because he knew that she wasn't earning and deserved to have that security in case anything went wrong. Please be very careful of the man you choose as a spouse. A lot of men are masquerading their fear of gold diggers by claiming that they just want women to be independent feminists. But the truth is, these men want all the benefits of being a provider without actually having to provide anything.

Let’s accept the fact that some of us are indeed gold diggers. What men in these situations don’t want to admit to is that some of them are marrying the gold digging women with an ulterior motive, too. Almost none of them are marrying for love, compatibility, or stable companionship. Many of them are marrying to gain a trophy wife (the village belle), or a lifetime maid (the submissive missus). They’re scared because they know some women can be as narrow-minded and selfish as them. They’re scared of literally marrying their equals ;)

>Let’s accept the fact that some of us are indeed gold diggers. What men in these situations don’t want to admit is that even they’re marrying the gold digging women with some ulterior motive. Almost none of them are marrying for love, compatibility, or stable companionship. Many of them are marrying to gain a trophy wife (the village belle), or a lifetime maid (the submissive missus). They’re scared because they know some women can be as narrow-minded and selfish as them. They’re scared of literally marrying their equals ;) There are gold-digger men too. Avarice is not limited by gender. Indeed, I know many, who have married into wealthier families who, for their own reasons, accepted the men as sons-in-law with open arms. Yet I have never heard a woman in this setup complain of marrying a 'gold-digger.'

Marriage offers the prospect of upward mobility to anyone interested. Be it social, economic, or political. Male gold diggers are quite common; I know of a few, myself, and they’ve been called out for being gold diggers, too, albeit, privately. It’s only that most rich women are not insecure about their wealth, nor are they on SM screaming ‘all men are gold diggers’ and asking strangers on the internet for shady ideas on how to protect their assets.

ha ha. All good points. The internet does seem to offer the wisdom of the hive mind, does it not? :-)

The thing is, they could very much avoid such situations if not fully then to a certain extent by looking for women who earn moreorless as much as they do in exchange for stepping tf up and letting go of their housewife dreams. But nope. They deliberately marry women underprivileged backgrounds for their own selfish gains but God forbid the woman becomes selfish too.

> Almost none of them are marrying for love, compatibility, or stable companionship. in arrange marriage, we don't do that here.

That's an ...interesting take ;)

Tbh it's soo hysterical watching grown ass men earning 5times as a common man(as they flex) and yet cry over potential made up scenarios in arrange marriage. I mean if you're so paranoid about such situations, why go for arrange marriage, or marriage at all? Lol

Every week day in and out, throughout history women are subjected to dowry,domestic abuses and we see such cases around us all the time yet we are expected to numb ourselves and take the plunge and believe in the institution of marriage. So it baffles me when Men ask them to be taken seriously over their perceived fears.

Your lived experience of exploitation and abuse is less important than their *"imaginary"* fear of exploitation and abuse. This is how delusional many men are. Also, it's incredibly stupid to believe that the entire legal system exists to rob them blind -- a legal system designed, created and run by men, mind you.

Uff you worded it SO WELL! Exactly. It's like they're blind to the fact as to why so many laws protecting women exists in the first place and yet not enough

Or why not seek a marriage of equals, where your spouse is equally wealthy. Then she can't be accused of being a gold digger.

Yep! Good point. Men want to have the cake and eat it too.

Men themselves will go for such girls and then later cry about. No rich men will go for average looking or self made girl. They mostly want trophy wives they can boast about. I don't understand how someone gets married with so many trust issues.

The ones who are most afraid are usually the ones that have the least gold to dig for

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But that's the thing. It's all about control..

Actually, it's the men and his family who are the traditional gold diggers. Men are afraid that women will take back more than they bring, if they ever wake up and stop taking their bs. As per my own horrible experience and things I learned after facing so much abuse is that women should and must take their share from both families. It's their right for a reason. Fight at every step.

I have thought about this often and have realised that as usual, it's got everything to do with misogyny. In a patriarchal society like ours, it's unbearable to men, at a psychological level, that a woman could have more power than them, or that they could be vulnerable to exploitation. It threatens their masculinity at a primal, subconscious level -- the idea that women could get a better outcome than them, and it puts them in an existential crisis. The thought that a woman could get a better outcome than them, even if it's fair and justified, is unbearable and anathema to them. This is because men grow up in a society where they are told that they ALWAYS have more power than a woman. Always, in every situation and at every stage of life. This male supremacy is deeply, deeply entwined with their core identity, their understanding of who they are as people. Of course, building your ENTIRE self-identity around your genitals is the textbook definition of toxic masculinity. In India, ordinary masculinity = toxic masculinity, because male supremacy is quite literally the animating feature of our society and civilisation. So, the "fear" of "gold-diggers" is actually an unconscious fear men have, of being bested by a woman, of being emasculated. Because what is masculinity in India? Supremacy over women. Essentially, men who fear gold-diggers have built their entire sense of self, over being superior to women. It's not rational, it's not conscious, and therefore you cannot argue rationally and logically with them, because it's not a rational fear accessible to the concious mind. As women, all we can do, is avoid such men because it will take a *lifetime* of re-conditioning to teach them not to be threatened by women, to not view them as The Hated Other. So don't waste your time engaging with such men. Their life's purpose is to prove to themselves, that all women are out to get them. Persecution complex at it's finest. Don't wrestle with pigs. You get covered in mud, and the pig likes it.

I used to engage with such people back in my early 20s, when I thought rational conversations could change their mind (lol). I don't anymore. And honestly, it's sad because to me that means these people don't have the very ability that would make them grow as a person. Just an overall sad thing for humanity, in my opinion.

To be fair, some men do change and grow because of life experience. However, they will only grow out of their own perceptions and life experience. How dare a woman try to teach them lol 😅. Also, this fear of "gold-diggers" is also a manifestation of another pervasive belief -- that women exist for men's comfort, pleasure and convenience. That our life's work should be to selflessly serve men and expect nothing in return. Textbook Incel thinking but then India is Ground Zero for Incel thinking. It's why Andrew Tate is the latest "truth-teller" and "visionary" liberating "oppressed men". A rational person views marriage as a reciprocal and mutual under-taking. If the woman has to perform a lifetime of unpaid, domestic, emotional and reproductive labour, she DESERVES some rights and financial security. Since many men unconsciously believe that women should be utterly selfless in marriage, women asking for rights is the same as us "exploiting them". 😂 Most high-value men who understand what women contribute to their life and success, will readily accept an equal partnership where BOTH have equal claims and rights.

>A rational person views marriage as a reciprocal and mutual under-taking. If the woman has to perform a lifetime of unpaid, domestic, emotional and reproductive labour, she DESERVES some rights and financial security. This. So much this!

I have been thinking about it too . Do people on Am really marry with drastic social economic difference ?I don't think so . Usually AM marriage ,especially rich one ,happen between family whose wealth is almost equal or slightly less/more I think finding whether the person is behind your money or you can be found if they interact or have courtship with them . There is another question like should i lower my salary to avoid gold digger ? I don't understand lying about your finance is Am is red flag . Every relationship starts with basic level of trust . Do divorce and alimony is in favor of women ? Can any lawyers answer

Idk how to answer it from a legal aspect. But the number of marriages that end up in divorce is really really low as compared to the number of marriages that happen in our country. But I believe our laws have been made to ensure that in case of a divorce women are given their fair share, for giving up so much in their own lives, just so they could take care of the household. People crib about our country not having gender-neutral laws, when in reality that would only work when the society becomes more gender-neutral. And that ain't happening anytime soon 🤷‍♀️

>I have been thinking about it too . Do people on Am really marry with drastic social economic difference ?I don't think so . Usually AM marriage ,especially rich one ,happen between family whose wealth is almost equal or slightly less/more Actually they do, but it depends on the circumstances of that set of families. I know of a rich family who got their son with developmental issues (he can never be normal), married to a beautiful normal young woman of a non-wealthy family from a very small town. She was ok with it for her own reasons. They are very good to her it has to be said.

Men just want bangmaids that they can cast off with no consequences if they want

Bottom line is they aren’t getting picked and Raja beta cannot deal. I personally dont have experience with Matrimonial sites but I sense that women have a bit more power/option on these sites and the men hate it.

I am planning to get married soon. Kindly advice that how do I make sure that the guy marries me for my personality and not for beauty? How can I be sure he is into me for ‘MY PERSONALITY’ and not my beauty? Can I cover my face till marriage and only reveal it once we are married so that I am sure the guy is genuine and married me for ‘MY PERSONALITY’ and not my beauty. I also understand men are paranoid of attracting gold diggers these days and are afraid that girls might dig their few gms of gold and I really don’t want to be a reason for their worry so can I find a man who will contribute EQUALLY in household chores, both of us will HAVE to live separately so that burden of taking care of in laws falls on nobody and I will not like to give my womb to carry a child to take their name and legacy forward, I will not be giving them a heir. I would rather invest that time in working on my skills and earn money because a man wants an equal wife and not some gold digger. Where can I find a man who can have an equal relationship with me without my free labour, without my womb being used to raise a kid?

Love your comment. This is the way.

When you say it like that ...

Tell me how do I proceed? Should I remain in ghunghat till wedding? Will any guy be okay with it?

Tell him ahead of time. Discuss this before you decide to marry him. If his expectations are wildly different than yours, he might never come around. Divorce is sooooo much harder than breaking off an engagement or simply not getting engaged in the first place.

Men aren’t afraid of gold diggers, they are afraid of women seeking their actual value. Women spend their lives taking care of these men and raise their families and sacrifice their career growth for something. Now when they get fed up and want to move away, for whatever reason and ask to be compensated fairly, men call us gold diggers.

Exactly. Look at how he calls it his "dad's property" and not his parents'/family's property

Marrying a guy richer than you in AM seems very risky. Look at all this. And then they cry about it when you say you don't want a richer person and call you insecure. There's no pleasing men.

There's an actual saying in my part of the country that goes like "always get a girl from a house lower than yours and always give your daughter away to a house above yours". Even as a kid I knew how the socio-economic power dynamic would work in this case, but apparently old people are wiser -_-

Then they also ask questions like "I don't want to marry a gold digger. So should I lie about my salary?" Imagine hearing this from your husband after marriage,that he lied to you because he thought you might be a gold digger. How would that make you feel? I have self respect too. That action would permanently damage the relationship. Then they also get paranoid about their wife having extra marital affairs after marriage, and they don't even have a prospect to marry yet. Future 'psycho husband murdered innocent wife because of suspecting affair' in the making. It's just gross.

"Should I lie about my salary?" And then just in case the woman didn't find his salary (maybe combined with her own salary) not enough for them to survive in today's world as a married couple and rejects the proposal, these same people would cry that they dodged a gold-digging bullet. These people are so in over their heads, there's just no winning with them.

Oh but as a woman you are not supposed to have any self-respect or dignity. Your husband should be your Alpha and Omega and you should literally not even have a single independent thought in your pretty little brain. /s

As a 2012 Tumblr girlie who used to obsessively read fanfiction, every time I see alpha, omega etc my mind goes straight to the omegaverse fics. I need some sort of mental bleach to rid myself of the memory of a few of the fanfics I read 🥲

Why even bother getting married if you are afraid that women are out to get you? Yeah, right. Who's gonna clean your underwear, pack your lunch and be a free slave to your parents.. But seriously, entering a marriage with that kind of mindset where your think of the other person as some kind of potential crook who will fleece you, yeah that's a super healthy way to start a loving and long-lasting couplehood. My condolences to the woman. I have seen many times how these kinds of marriages play out. If the woman spends even a penny on a household nicknack, or grocery or for the children without prior 'approval', the husbands wear them out to the bone through cursing and screaming. Because these men are essentially children, children who are full of fear and insecurity, children who can't think of anyone but themselves. These kinds of posts are also a testament to the attitude a lot of men have; my money is my money but thousand hours of unpaid labor by the wife is obligatory. And no, they won't get love marriages because they deep-down think of women as enemies. Building a love affair requires them to be pleasant, charismatic and respectful individuals to women. They have learned that long back they have nothing that can evoke women's desire. So, arranged marriage is their last bastion for punishing women for being human.

>Why even bother getting married if you are afraid that women are out to get you? Yeah, right. Who's gonna clean your underwear, pack your lunch and be a free slave to your parents.. Nothing says love and devotion like cleaning someone's underwear.

The men who are afraid of women taking away all their dad’s property and family wealth shouldn’t even think of marrying. As a woman who’ve dated men w good wealth and money (I’m talking in crores) idgaf about their money , never cared about their cars , homes etc. the only thing i was worried about while dating was whether we understand each other or not ? Money for my family would be a point they’ll ask in AM but if a guy is talking to me one on one it’ll be last thing I’ll discuss. Ppl w businesses and wealth can loose their money There’s no guarantee that one will have it thru out their life or one will be rich (as per our standards) forever you may loose it all in months after marriage what then? Should i leave my husband then? Nah, I won’t. The important point for me is how hard working and smart that person is you can make money easily but you can’t manage or keep it if you dk these 2 things. Most men i see around here (punjab &haryana ) have generational wealth that only goes to the son’s of the family so something that they got it for free because of their gender and which they’re enjoying (thanks to their previous generations) are afraid of loosing it ? Lol… the insecurity is because they dint made it it’s a gift from the parents and grandparents Hence , the insecurity of loosing it all. Pre nup krlo sign problem kya hai. By these logic men are making it easier for the gold diggers as they’ll enjoy their wealth as long as they want to and might have an affair w the other man w more money and will leave their ass one fine day when they’ll be done w their bullshit of the first one behind and signing up a new subscriptions (new man, new marriage ,new life ,more money) w better deals lol it’s fucked up. Please spend some time w your partners and ppl who you’re about to marry. If you don’t feel their money is your money or if you aren’t frugal w their money then it’s a problem and this applies to both gender. Men shouldn’t even marry if this is their insecurity because such men will never be able to trust their partner and it’s sad.

The more I see the arranged marriage sub reddit the more I'm losing hope on humanity :')

Lemme say this, who's exactly the gold digger here? The one who wants to exploit someone for a 24/7 job with physical, emotional and sexual slavery while not paid a penny, treated inferior in everything and added emotional abuse also with a down payment in the name of partnership and in the end expecting them to not ask for justice for all the injustice they've faced only to be discarded. Or the one who's gonna be married to someone with wealth while working for them tirelessly with no pay? If what the girl does is gold dogging, it is way better than exploiting someone off their life which the guy takes for granted.

Women don't get their husband's property unless he dies. In laws' property is out of question.

Why think about rational things like this when you can be delusional and whine about women being gold diggers /s

Majority of the men worried about THEIR property going to their wife in case of a divorce have a single bedroom kitchen in Nalasopara.

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Seriously many of them are so invested in celebrities divorces as if they've that kind of money with them.

Men in arranged marriage setups always look for a Trad Wife while refusing to take up the role of the Trad Provider Husband. These chuds want to benefit from a sexist old set up and protect themselves from being at the receiving end of "sexism".

Oh but can they??? Hahaha can they even FIND such love with this kind of bitter attitude towards women? I have first hand experience with such men and they have only two attitudes all the time: "women bad, women liars, women scammers, women idiots ☕" and "why can't I find someone, dukh dard peeda, every date i go on ends in a bad way" hahahahaha. It's so fun to be an onlooker to such bitter men's life while bagging an amazing sweet man with good values ;)

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cqx79MhuewP/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Hilarious roast on Gold Digging 😆

my mom is a lawyer and i have seen her talk about many cases where the women do become gold diggers but it has a lot to do with the influence of her mother in the marriage...they meddle a lot. nevertheless, gold digging is very much a thing even in love marriages and many times the person with the properties and all gets stuck in false cases of dowry and dv just to usurp the property and remove the parents of the spouse from the picture. its the sad reality. and since arranged marriage is between 2 people who dont know each other much it is somewhat valid to be wary...i think both parties should be wary and not just men. i feel men do use the excuse of gold diggers to cover their shitty behaviour. one guy i met from Bumble couldn't stop talking about how rich his dad is but it's not his money and how he is not rich himself. but he had bought everything from his dads money so i didnt get the point of telling me that beside that he is not going to spend on me. oh well🫡

Oh there definitely are shitty people across all genders. Never denied that. But the way men whine and complain about it seems a little overdramatic. Not every single arranged marriage prospect is out there to fleece them. And I've seen how people misuse dv and dowry related laws. My point is, get to know the people you're getting married to. We don't give this enough importance and quite a lot of arranged marriages happen on criteria like how beautiful the girl is, or how much money the guy makes. Arranged marriage is transactional in nature but if one is getting into it, one has to at least try to make the best out of this scenario.

marriage and relationship are a game of chance no matter what. if its love marriage the person can always change, if its arranged then u maybe dont know their true colours. so its always a risk. but yeah the men do complain about it a lot more than it actually happens. and its always men who have very less to offer other than their wealth.

Indian men who choose the arrange marriage route should instead marry a cow since obviously they have a problem with everything. They want their wives to be submissive, not be too ambitious, bear their child, look after inlaws, leave job after childbirth but at the same time they afraid of gold diggers too. So cow seems like the best option for these type of men. 😄

Everyday, I'm thankful and grateful that I don't have to deal with this AM bs.

Everyone has given different views.. I just want to add one data point: prenup is not a valid doc in India.Prenuptial agreements or marriage contracts are not enforceable in any court in India. It can be a persuasive doc but either party can deny its applicability in the eye of the court.

I don’t understand people who go into arrange marriage and complain about things like this and blame the women. They do realise it’s because of patriarchy this is happening right? My husband lost his job a month before our wedding. My family didn’t care of course but my extended family did! I said I love him and won’t give up. When this happened to my cousin, he lost his match because it was arrange marriage that was set up in 2 months (met, engaged and wedding within 2 months) because honestly it was transactional. We need to make dating normal in arrange marriage situations, at least for a certain period of time.

People can change, even though if you know a person very well, there might be some secrets that they never tell anyone. Given the easy access to the internet and such posts, people can easily change through the course. So divorce can even happen in love marriage ..