T O P
QuincyAzrael

"The more educated women get, the less they seem to want men like me" is not the own you think it is, Harold.


the_nibblonians

Maybe someone should get him a “must be this dumb to date me” sign equivalent of the minimum height requirement for rollercoasters.


astrangeone88

Isn't that why a certain political group seems to want to dismantle the education system? Book burning and bans are never a sign of being in with education.


Funny_Breadfruit_413

He's single isn't he?


AdiPalmer

How did you know!? Lol.


Minniemum

Cant imagine why xD


whereyouatdesmondo

Clearly, after he spoke at the dinner, all the ladies were lining up to have a shot at landing such a snack.


TheGriswoldFamily

He knows deep down that women don’t want him because they don’t like him. He would prefer that it was an issue that affected everyone instead of just him, misery loves company. Laugh at him


RosarioPawson

>Laugh at him That's really the best response to a malicious mansplainer like OP's above. Don't even entertain their inane diatribes with a rebuttal, just laugh. Like when a toddler wants to join in on grown up dinner conversations. Give a sweet southern, "oh, bless your heart" after finishing a belly chuckle, when he asks what was funny about what he said. Or, "was I not supposed to laugh? I honestly thought you were making a joke. What you're saying is just so out of touch with reality."


whoomp-there-it-iss

as someone from louisiana, "oh bless your heart" is absolutely the best rebuttal to anything


RosarioPawson

It really says everything that I do not have the time or patience to spell out for small minded people.


ericscottf

Oh bless your heart.


Klutz727

My first thought to the interrupting was to treat him like my daughter when she interrupts “please don’t take my turn”. I feel like the wording alone would get the point across.


runswithdolls

I just say loudly "Excuse me I was talking."


RosarioPawson

You are SO right. I tried this in a work meeting recently, something to the effect of: "excuse me, I'm very interested in the thoughts you'd like to share, but could you please let me finish mine first before we move on?" Saying it like a loving parent or patient kindergarten teacher really gets the message across. He sounded kind of sheepish and apologized before letting me finish - that's progress.


Klutz727

Yes. Being rude just furthers their mentality of women being too emotional. Treat them like the children they are, and maybe they will be shocked into reality. Also, former K-2 music teacher here, I’ve got the patient but expectant look down. 😂


FlyingBaerHawk

🥇 Please accept this humble broke Redditor’s award for a comment I will most definitely be employing.


RantAgainstTheMan

Even a toddler deserves more dignity and respect than that shitbag.


LurkingOakleaf

Too much charm and grace for a poor midwestern bumpkin like me. Now, “I see you saved a special place for the devil in your heart.”….


odomotto

Oops. Just saw this.


tiny_galaxies

Men like this always resort to the “you’re gonna die alone” statement when in het marriages the man dies first much more often. Or if a woman gets a terminal illness, men are much more likely to leave their sick partner than vice versa. So even then, women tend to die alone. And we aren’t exactly in fear of it. A lot of deep down fears show themselves when men talk/project like this.


APladyleaningS

Also, I've heard plenty more men say the reason they want a partner is to have someone to take care of them when they're old. I remember being so disgusted the first time I heard this.


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APladyleaningS

HA!


Ellecram

I absolutely LOVE living alone. I am divorced. I abandoned any attempts to have long term relationships circa 2004 for a variety of reasons. I travel domestically and internationally with friends and relatives, I have a decent job with great benefits, own my home, and do whatever I want whenever I want. Planning on retiring in the next couple years and can't wait for new opportunities! A relationship would complicate my life and I don't want one.


Jemima_Snuggleduck

OP really met a 40 year old incel here. These are the kind of creeps who run the incel websites and try and convince teenagers that they are incels.


Own_Confection4645

There’s nothing sadder than teenage boys, especially very young ones, being convinced that they’re incels and that the completely ordinary struggles they’re facing makes them unusual or unlovable. The majority of kids are growing into their features and experiencing awkwardness in their interpersonal relationships, and there’s nothing wrong with that.


Heikold

They are incels. They try and convince each other that they’re all teenagers.


UnspecificGravity

He is deeply disappointed to not live in a world where his meager qualifications entitle him to a indentured sex mommy.


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GraeMatterz

I don't know why you felt the need to reference Boomers in this context other than to take an opportunistic swipe. The tradition of staying in a terrible marriage goes back hundreds of years, and for a lot of it was church mandated. ETA: 40yrs old is not a Boomer (1946-1964), it's a Millennial (1981-1996).


EdgarFrogandSam

Spot-the-fuck-on.


dogchick1985

A few years? Puberty at 10 to 12 and menopause near 50. That's 4 decades and two of them on either end of the extreme make pregnancy extremely dangerous,high risk, and unhealthy for the small girl or the older woman. What does this person mean "a few years". Girls and women are fertile for about 30 to 40 years depending on the age of first period and the age of menopause? That's half thier life. How do they think women in the past had 15 or 20 kids each taking a year to gestate and a year to breast feed? I mean? Come on. People can't be this stupid.


kookapo

He meant "there's only a few years that I, the most important person in the universe, find them sexually attractive". Quite a contrast to the zero number of years anyone finds him attractive.


bethebebop

Exactly. The "If I don't find them fuckable, they have nothing to worry about" logic of myopic man-children worldwide.


rvralph803

I'd bet those years are between 12 and 20


weeburdies

More like 10-16


FilmCroissant

Too generous. He sounds like someone who calls himself a MAP (Minor Attracted Person") on twitter


Ok_Mycologist_5569

Exactly, and those few years are likely when she’s under 18 and illegal


cardinal29

My mother, with 9 children, was pregnant and/or nursing for over 25 years.


not_a_moogle

> Valentina Vassilyev and her husband Feodor Vassilyev are alleged to hold the record for the most children a couple has produced. She gave birth to a total of 69 children – sixteen pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets and four sets of quadruplets – between 1725 and 1765, a total of 27 births. Obviously it's hard to verify those kind of claims, but we do have this one > Mariam Nabatanzi from Uganda gave birth to 44 children (43 survived infancy) by the age of 36. This included 3 sets of quadruplets, 4 sets of triplets and 6 sets of twins, due to a rare genetic condition causing hyperovulation. In 2019, at the age of 40, she underwent a medical procedure to prevent any further pregnancies.


manticorpse

Those poor women.


MourkaCat

My god that poor Ugandan woman (And the other as well, if it's true) Imagine having a litter of children every time you got pregnant. And I imagine she was not always ready and willing, but had to (aka forced to) because of her 'wifely duties'.


Sudden-Damage-5840

Started period at 12. Currently 49. Still have my period every damn month. Doctor said I could go to 52-54. This guy is a tool and a asshole. Upset because you won’t bow down to his opinions. And you have an education. Seriously, I am grateful I am raising my son to look at this and say, “WTAF dude?!” Men like this cannot handle that women would rather be alone than be attached to a douche like him. Single women are the happiest. Why? Because they don’t have to put anyone else before them like wives and mothers are expected to do.


Ellecram

Yes. I spent many years as a mother, wife, sister, daughter, etc. Now all of those roles are gone and, although I grieve the people I once loved and cared for, I love living alone. My maternal grandmother gave birth to 15 children. 12 of them lived to be adults. She died at age 58 never having had the time to experience a life without taking care of other people. Actually she died before I was born and I never met her. It's a sad situation.


MisogynyisaDisease

That's extremely young to die :/


Echoeversky

Can we please get more women elected to all levels of public office? Disclosure: 51yr old stay at home dad.


f1ve-Star

Sadly, people are always able to disappoint me with being dumber than I thought possible. I mean people were convinced to drink bleach to treat Covid for crying out loud.


CircusSloth3

It’s just a real quick 30-50 years! A blip really. Both sides of the abortion debate frequently comment on the huge number of women who have/need abortions, to the point anyone who even vaguely follows the topic will have internalized that the number is very high. Even if you hadn’t figured that out, I don’t understand how you’re stupid enough to use this guy’s logical path. Let’s review: -How important is this topic? -It’s only important if many people are effected, and it only effects one person per abortion, the pregnant woman. -How many people need abortions? I could very, very easily google it but I won’t! Ill just use “time frame this could possibly happen in” as an indicator of frequency, for no apparent reason. -I have absolutely no idea how women’s bodies work. (I’m sure this extends to other areas of his life too…) -Most people I know/see have children in a kind of smallish number of years so that’s the only time it’s physically possible (I’m guessing on this one, maybe he’s just a different, more mysterious kind of idiot.) Really mind blowing.


odabar

Problem here is that it's not stupidity, but bias and preference. This loon obviously thinks women loose their "value" after the age of 30. If he had only spoken about himself I guess he could be correct, but in society today we have loads of evidens on the contrary. For him it's not relevant that a women CAN have children after age 30, because he don't believe men WANT to have kids with a woman over 30.


MourkaCat

I honestly wouldn't put it past this moron to assume a woman can only bear children in her 20s and hasn't thought much after that. He obviously and completely ignores teen pregnancies as well as women older than 25 being pregnant/having families.


Decidedly-Undecided

Ok. The first time I read your comment I thought it said “women in the past had 15-20 kids each year” and had to do a double take. That is not what you said lol I had a friend that started her period at 9. One of my aunts didn’t start menopause until she was almost 60. Of those two things aligned in one person thats 50 years pregnancy is possible. Apparently this dude has a weird idea for what “a few” means…


MourkaCat

I was literally typing this up. About 42 years of a woman's life they are able to get pregnant and carry a baby. TF is "just a few years" what a moron. Bad women's anatomy much.....


Carrier_Conservation

Indeed. that is half their life. and half of that nearly 4 decades is higher risk pregnancy.


Botryllus

It also covers the prime earning years.


jenn9ifer

🤣🤣🤣 cis males can be and most times are that stupid it seems!


Drpoofn

They never had to think critically before.


dcdemirarslan

Looks like they are.


MissAnthropic123

If the host of a party was rude to me like that, I’d just leave. Fuck them and fuck wasting my time on shitty people. They don’t deserve your company if they’re going to act like that and not stand up for guests.


colieolieravioli

Seriously "talk about something else"? Get the hell out of here. Just ignorant men sticking up for ignorant men because it's easier than doing the right thing. Every day Dumbledore gets more relevant "We must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy"


CaliBounded

Seconded. I wouldn't make a habit of going to an event with a host who won't defend me/kick a piece of shit like that out if they're gonna act like that.


Minniemum

and take a bottle on the way out fr, no one has any respect in that house


SuperfluousWingspan

And possibly a match and a cloth napkin.


Ann3Nym

I’d make a proper scene


Ok_Skill_1195

Call out the host. Ask them why they prioritized the emotional comfort of a misogynist openly harassing a woman at the table (if I was a 40 yr old dating a 30 year old being told I was too disgusting to fuck after 30, j would be LIVID " This guy obviously sucks and is beyond hope, but I'm shocked you'd stay on speaking terms with someone so willing to throw an entire gender in front of the bus to appease a bully. Too many men speak over women to play peacekeeper, thinking they're doing *us* a favor somehow by helping to put us into our place. And seemingly in denial with themselves about the role they are playing. Those men imo need to be called it out far more than the (fully self aware) bigot.


TheInnerFifthLight

"Amazing! In nine hundred years of time and space, I've never met anyone who wasn't important before." -- The Doctor, "A Christmas Carol"


puss_parkerswidow

That Sexual Marketplace he's mentioning is evidence that he views marriage/sex/relationships as transactions. That's one kind of man to avoid.


Salarian_American

>"The problem is that 70% of divorces are initiated by women." Imagine acknowledging this as fact and never once considering that it says more about men than it does about women...


Ok_Skill_1195

You're misunderstanding him. He fully recognizes women are divorcing men cause they're fed up, what hes doing is responding to those women by saying "how dare you fat ugly sluts have the self respect to think you deserve better. *You don't*. Stay with that trash man or die alone (where dying alone is implicitly understood to be some horrifying spinster cat lady death that fills all our ancestors with shame)" He knows on some level men are trash. That's why he is SO determined to verbally abuse women until they feel like trash about themselves - because he knows that's the only way women would settle for garbage dudes like himself.


Willtology

The study that number comes from states that a major contributor to this number (it actually says 2/3rds, not 70%, another interesting change) is that women no longer tolerate infidelity and abuse like they used to. What kind of person would take that to be a negative reflection upon women? Incel scum all around. https://www.asanet.org/press-center/press-releases/women-more-likely-men-initiate-divorces-not-non-marital-breakups


taratarabobara

That’s the kind of comeback I’ll keep in my pocket just in case someone says that to me!


wheredmyphonego

Yea I immediately went to "yea, about 70% of men are worth leaving, that tracks"


Shanisasha

See, your problem is you addressed it as a valid point from the start. ​ When someone says something like that you sputter a laugh and a disbelieving "of course not! that is so ridiculous it's funny" and then you just keep retorting with short statements. don't explain, don't engage. "Women are getting tricked into believing they need all this education and then by the time they want to have a partner it's too late because they're over 30 and they no longer have value in the sexual market" "What nonsense. Educated women scare you that bad? You not finding anyone who'll put up with you says nothing about women. It says about you." ​ Bring it all back to him, to that moment. To the reasons he is making the very personal claims as a generalization. Highlight this. And when he interrupts you again, call the host and ask him to please return the favor and get his guest to leave you alone now.


dragonavicious

I call it the "mean girl" rule. Bigots need to be met with social ridicule to stop their nonsense. They can't be reasoned with when they are at that stage and instead of meeting them on even footing for debate or discussion (which i will entertain with almost everything besides blatant bigotry), you gotta knock that shit down with immediate derision. Make them realize they are so outside the norm that they stop spouting that shit.


LittleRadishes

Were told growing up to be nice and accommodating and polite but I find sometimes it's much more productive to just be a bitch.


skycaptsteve

My first thought too, “haha keep that up mate, if you want to unlock that forever alone achievement”


Grouchy_Goat_6129

Damn, I hope op uses this one on repeat moving forward


skycaptsteve

Idk why, but that backwards kind of thinking makes me want to whip out equally dated insults, seems like it goes hand in hand.


ThoughtItWudBFunny

I love this strategy so much! Another one I like is to treat their nonsense like you've never heard it before and act baffled/laugh. Then follow up with a "oh, you were serious?" Finish it off by awkwardly excusing yourself and leave. Hasn't failed me yet lol


Shanisasha

This one is good, too. The goal is to position their opinions as silly nonsense that deserves no discussion and put them on the defensive. It deflates them quickly, or makes them blow up awkwardly. You basically ignore their opinion. It's the equivalent of "that's nice, dear"


cardinal29

>"Shhh! The grown-ups are talking!"


puderrosa

If you can't convince them, confuse them.


puderrosa

This absolutely works. Of course you need to get over the "social standard" to not attack someone with verbal fire. That might be a process for some, but if you deliver a blow like that it feels amazing! A guy I hate for many reasons once tried to attack me by pointing out that I was jobless. Of course that's pretty normal when you're a student. But instead of focusing on the facts I just asked him what emotional problem he had that caused him to constantly put others down. He was shocked and hurried away complaining about my arrogance. Hilarious.


Unapologetic_Morgan

I also like a good ol’ “You just said that? How embarrassing (for you)..”


jenn9ifer

I looooove this strategy! Thank you for sharing it!


Hello3424

Bro, I just started calling out men like this. "You're mad that women don't want grown man children like you and you're calling it a pandemic of women dieing alone. Statistically women are going to die alone anyway. Men divorce them when they find out they are sick and men die earlier than women on average, which means we have a larger number of eligible elderly women than men. Why would women want to waste thier life taking care of someone that can't care of themselves?"


cardinal29

There's a whole sub full of incels and imbeciles: /r/badwomensanatomy. I occasionally click on it for a laugh, but the misogyny and ignorance are too much for anything other than a short visit. It gets depressing. Your story reminded me of that sub. We'd laugh at this party guest for being such a pushy idiot, but really it's sad he's so ignorant and infuriating that he thinks he's right.


Khornelia

Fun fact: I used to think incel meant the same as imbecile because I wasn't that much into online culture. Nowadays I know for a fact that, yeah they basically are the same. Just not in the way I thought 😂 r/badwomensanatomy is hilarious btw, if you can look past the constant disappointment in humanity that it evokes lol


Jonatc87

Why not both?


[deleted]

The worst for me was the inceltears sub because while the sub is mocking these losers... the losers still exist. There are incredibly vile men alive that relish the thought of women being hurt. Too many people exist that truly think such atrocious thoughts. It was very depressing, so I had to unsub.


ctrlf_happiness

But if you ever dare to post "I hate men" on a feminist sub you get a dozen downvotes from males lurking and rape threats in your inbox


BabuschkaOnWheels

I mean, I downvote "I hate women" because most of it is just "my peepee" nonsense. Like there's a stark difference when you read the reasons people list for each of those statements.


Elite_Slacker

Oh what? I thought that was a silly sub for hilariously bad art. I guess the scum piled up in there over the years.


Khornelia

Huh, no I think the sub itself is full of mostly great people. I assume they mean that it just shows off a bunch of incel/misogynistic shit by nature of what the sub is about (making fun of said shit).


Asterose

The sub is definitely fine, I was baffled by the person's comment too. I think they meant to say it is showcasing the ridiculous things imbeciles and incels say and think. I'm on that sub as well as a few others like it most days and there's few to no actual misogynists commenting. (Or if there are a lot commenting they get downvoted to hell, I don't scroll to the end of the page.)


CamOfGallifrey

I’ve heard much the same from other men too. The one that bothered me the most was someone saying “it’s good, they are taking back rights away and leveling things out” and I was just floored at how to him this was some sort of contest. It’s human rights being violated, and too many people I am forced to interact with express the worst of this kind of misogyny and racism possible. It’s hard to talk to them because they don’t have any good moral value system I can communicate with. Sometimes I have to try and remind myself that it’s wasted breath trying to correct someone who is certain they are right about things when incorrect. Sometimes it’s a slow process of inches to get them to open their minds about it. What I do like is that in such a setting like this, you’re also saying it for the benefit of everyone else. It gives courage to those who share your values to also speak up and challenge others. It lets others who hold incorrect views to stop and think more (hopefully, sadly not as often as I’d like). There is a lot of very bad education on these topics. At some point, because parents have been lacking in this education it seems, I’d like kids to learn more about this kind of stuff because it’s scary to hear the unfiltered crap that some spout off thinking that they can be honest around another guy. It’s not all of them, but way too many to dismiss as outliers.


jello-kittu

Host was kind of an ass also- a lot less but really? If you're subjected to this ass, find a way to interrupt his interrupting. Just point it out every single time (make sure you interrupt to tell him that), and maybe throw in that his lonely ass can't get a woman because he doesn't respect women. Interrupting. Defining them as no one important. Whining and stereotyping.


Ewoksintheoutfield

Agreed. If a host is going to let someone verbally bully you - they aren’t being a good host. I also would have politely left after 2-3 more interruptions. Text the host later and let them know you want to spend time with them but not with interrupter anymore.


jess_fitss2022

Being friends with a misogynistic person makes you ALSO a misogynist.


jello-kittu

This. I would definitely ask that.


bellefleurdelacour98

> Host was kind of an ass also- a lot less A lot more, if anything. He agreed clearly with weirdo dude and let him harass Op and her friend all evening.


cardinal29

A note about your host, /u/AdiPalmer - clearly not an ally! /s I urge everyone ITT to read this classic analysis that explains how Mr Loudmouth Loser was a guest at this party: http://pervocracy.blogspot.com/2012/06/missing-stair.html?m=1 Perhaps you can send the link to your host. If we don't speak up, nothing will ever change.


extragouda

He thinks women are not important. "Then my friend who invited me interjected and gestured towards her boyfriend: "you have an example right here, I'm 44, he's 30. Even before him I've had no issues hooking up with people, neither casually nor for long term relationships. You're wrong!" " I love your friend. Based.


zotrian

A... few years? So mid teens (first period) to being like 50 or 60 (menopause) is a few years? I would define it more as "most of a lifetime" Though, tbf, I generally start ignoring redpill idiots who use the term "sexual marketplace" like they legit think it's a thing


12Purple

*It's not affecting anyone important.* That's it in a nutshell. He does not view women as important. Why would anyone be interested in what he thinks or says if that's his attitude. I certainly see an increase in women calling BS a lot more. I think that's a good thing.


Madame_President_

LOL. You caught a TRP guy IRL. Anyone who talks about women's sexual value and being AWALT is a bonafide incel. The end of hopelessness is adopting it as your identity.


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theanamazonian

What struck me about this is that you were worried about offending the host, but the host clearly wasn't worried about offending you. I understand that it's his house and you were the guest of an invited guest, but it's pretty gross that you and your friend were left feeling so uncomfortable that you were socializing only with each other. It is possible to be polite, but still confront shitty people and shitty opinions. When he says women can only have children for a few years and it's not affecting a lot of people, you could say something like "Oh, that's an interesting opinion. Could you please elaborate on your definition of a few? For me, 30+ years is much more than a few, and women do compromise half of the population." When he says he doesn't know why people are so offended by Roe VS Wade, say something like "Is that something that you are interested in understanding better?" or "There are a lot of resources out there explaining why this is an issue for so many women. If you are interested in learning more, there are a lot of resources you could access." If you just keep turning it back on him, he ends up looking like a blustering fool. The same with the interrupting..."Oh, I can pause here if you have an important point you can't wait to make".


Not_a_N_Korean_Spy

Great way of confronting the situation. While probably less constructive, the retort when interrupted is magnificent. And well, if someone isn't even willing to let the other speak, some passive-agressiveness like that is well deserved and probably effective (Have you had any experiences using it?)


Katerh

“If the majority of men are like you, dying alone seems like a pleasant alternative”. I frivolously lost the last fuck I had to give sometime in 2020 because I’m just a dumb woman who doesn’t know what’s good for me. Thank god I’m no longer considered fuckable to most men like this.


ChameleonRazz

It’s the way of men who are too mentally weak to seek growth. It’s literally easier for them to stay ignorant. Cause making effort over such an important issue? WTF is that anyway? 🙄 Easier to blame it on women than work on himself!


harbinger06

“Just a few years.” Or like *fifty* but whatever. “Doesn’t affect anyone important.” You’re right, Mr. Not Anyone Important, it does not affect YOU.


AllMyBeets

They love the "no man will want you argument" bc it puts them at the center of a woman's happiness. If women can be happy alone they lose their purpose in life. It means they have to contribute value over just existing. It means they have to put in effort.


MisogynyisaDisease

💀💀💀 my friend's 50 something year old mother had a kid at 50. A healthy pregnancy. I've been able to conceive since I was *10*. My family tends to not go into menopause until their mid to late 50s. If my husband died, I'd GLADLY die alone without remarrying, just to avoid assholes like this. If I date again, it will solely be with women.


6corsican6lily6

My problem is also with the host who didn’t let you give this guy a piece of your mind before shutting down the conversation. Fuck passive men who choose to remain “neutral” on oppressive and depressive stances like this douche nugget was spouting. Fuck that noise.


Ditovontease

\> He still kept interrupting us and telling us to shut up and pay attention to what the host was saying. I'd refuse to attend any other social gathering if this idiot is invited.


Mtnskydancer

*”Anyone who uses the word* value *in relation to a human in a romantic relationship isn’t someone I take seriously. As I was saying when you interrupted me…*”


Saladcitypig

Married women to men, die sooner. Men who are married to women live longer. They literally steal our life force. Lol


AClover69420

Imagine thinking literally half of the world's population is "not important" JFC!


alllie

Men are taught they are superior to women. They are taught this starting as children. Other male children teach them this prejudice till it is very baked in by high school. Then, if they decide they want a relationship with a girl, they start looking for one that will be a good dog. They want a trophy but they also want a girl to be sex toy, brood mare, nurse and house slave. Some of the richer men even want a woman to be a madam and organize other sexual encounters for him. I don't really understand any woman wanting to be any of those things. Not long ago it was the only way for a woman to support herself. But those times seem over.


majj27

"value in the sexual market" My PUA-Manosphere Bullshit Detectotron 9000 just exploded.


Odimorsus

Men who need their hand held through every direction and require you to be the bigger person so they don’t lose it: wOmEn aRe tHe MoRe eMoTiOnAl sEx My fiancée is 31. We got together in our mid 20s. She has barely changed physically in this time, gets carded at venues sometimes and is consistently told “I thought you were so much younger! You don’t look in your 30s!” and are generally very surprised. The thing is, she doesn’t not look like a woman in her 30s. People just don’t seem to understand what a woman in her 30s looks like and there’s no age where they suddenly just completely degrade. They’re even more surprised there’s such a miniscule age gap (less than a year) and assumed I just “look really good for my age” as though it’s just a given for men and probably with the troubling implication that large age-gap relationships are normalised when the reality is, we both look how you’d expect two healthy people in their early 30s to look compared to mid 20s. It *really* hasn’t been that long and it wouldn’t work for me to live the rest of my life with someone who understands so little of my experiences due to generation gap and that’s without getting into the more disturbing infantilisation shit that bothers me. Then there’s the “you must feel so lucky.” Happt? Blessed? Sure. But why lucky? It’s not dumb luck we’re together. I have as much to offer her that she does to me, she’s just as attracted… is it because they offer so comparatively little, luck is the only thing they can ascribed it to?


circlefragment

Well, a lot of divorces are intiated by woman, but it's only getting abused/neglected/cheated on. for years. I and my other friends never wilfully left a LTR. It was always after months/years of trying but never getting the love/respect in return. Honestly, fuck this person.


MacabreFox

So people who can get pregnant aren't important. Got it.


freakshoh

What a disgusting human being. I commend you for keeping your cool up to some degree. I wouldn't have been able to manage. The effin nerve. That person js a disgusting sgusting self absorbed garbage.


srslyeffedmind

If you encounter him again and he starts to interrupt hold your hand up and say “shhhhh no one wants to hear from you you’re not anyone important” and then ignore him. He feels important and diminishing that will feel great. Won’t help that he’s an ass or that our society is going after women like the Catholic Church is in charge again but you’ll temporarily feel a little better


fullercorp

a tantrum. At 40. Anyone who brings up the 'women initiate divorce' is a neckbeard misogynist, no other discussion needs to be analyzed. So many men check out of the marriage long before the woman HAS TO take the initiative to file.


nona_mae

What's hilarious to me, is that this guy probably has never stopped to think that maybe women choose to be single because of guys like him. He isn't concerned about the general well-being of women, or what will make them happy. He's concerned with this entitled thinking about what he thinks he is owed from a woman.


fairylightmeloncholy

if i were you, i would have walked out of that dinner party. fuck the host for putting this asshole's comfort over your human rights. walking out is what would have made his poor behaviour of enabling his buddy's poor behaviour too obvious to ignore. OR they think you're overreacting and they're not friends you want to keep anyways.


snakebill

Holy shit, he actually said “value on the sexual market”??? This guy is a sick asshole.


xoxoyoyo

said by the same people who where screaming about having to get vaccinated so as to help get a virus under control


artemisdurga

OMG I have heard this argument of "being tricked into careers and now women are over 30 and worthless, etc", soon many times! NOT true at all! Women can find partners whenever they want. Also take a single woman in her 40s and a single man in his 40s, the man is usually very lonely and sad and the woman is living her life on her own terms!


luv_u_deerly

Statistically men are more happy married and women are more happy single that says a lot right there. I am myself a happily married straight woman. So of course not all men or women. But I also have an amazing partner that is so kind, hard working, faithful, supportive and amazing dad that does his share of child rearing. I got myself a goodie. But if for whatever reason I was ever single again I sincerely think I’d want to stay that way. Dating doesn’t sound like fun. I’d be content on my own.


GreaterThanOrEqual2U

Its funny because i hear that alot. Women initiate most of the divorces (70 %, 90% if they're college educated). They ignore the reason for divorce and it isn't the women's fault, but the men's.


vehicularious

Women have been tricked? They have no value in the sexual market? I can’t believe how much condescension and misogyny was fit into two sentences. It literally sounds like he is regurgitating talking points from some podcast, without stopping to consider whether that information is actually true. It blows my mind how much bullshit women have to put up with.


EmiliusReturns

I wasn’t aware that 35-40 years of your life is just “a few.” TIL.


Darth-Shittyist

My sister almost died about a year ago when an ectopic pregnancy ruptured. Without Roe, the doctors wouldn't have been allowed to treat her and she would have died, but yeah, it's not affecting anyone important. Fucking moron


Paradox_Blobfish

Next time hit him with the "maybe women just don't like you personally" and watch the meltdown


OdeeSS

I can't believe people keep insisting that women are getting "tricked" into jobs and "fooled" out of marriage when history has proven that the more wealth, autonomy, influence, and power women have over their lives they consistently *choose* to get married less. It's almost like they pick what benefits them most when they have the option available. Marriage was the trick all along.


bossy909

Oh, I would've definitely escalated that shit Oh we should just shut up because this man is a fucking misogynist? You want to diffuse the situation? I've got a can of gasoline and a match. Fuck the host, fuck this shit. The next thing I would've done is tell him to go fuck himself and then rudely interrupt EVERYTHING he has to say, and talk over the host. You will pay for your ignorance, Sir. We are not playthings and sex objects for your approval and desire. I mean, the "women are used up by 35" crowd need to be literally conditioned out of that mindset because it's fucking bullshit. Oh, women are used up by 35? Well, most men are pathetic losers their entire lives (look him straight in his eyes) I would 100% end that little dinner party


cuahdeilli

**< It's not affecting anyone important. >** **He means... MEN.**


Goose_Spy

Dude sounds like an extreamly fragile narcissist. The only winning move is not verbally respond. Maybe laugh or look at him with cringe on your face.


Kethaera

"Better alone than with someone like you." Also, I am overcome with a deep, murderous rage upon reading this. I'm sorry you were forced to be in the presence of such primordial ooze as this, OP.


floatingwithobrien

So the women in the age range he wants to date (prime childbearing years) are "not important," and neither are women in their 30s or 40s (and presumably after that)... Sounds like he just doesn't think women are important. And also that they're the victims of their own decisions to initiate divorce... And victims of their own education and careers.... Because they don't have a partner or children? He's 40 you say. Does *he* have a partner, or children? Are those *his* top priorities, or does he just think all women have the same priorities? How separated from reality do you have to be to fully not realize that women are actually people?


Next-Flounder5160

I had my second child at 30, and it was the healthiest pregnancy, delivery, and child I've ever carried. Meanwhile I miscarried one pregnancy as an 18 year old and then another when I was 23. These people act like the minute you enter your 30s your fertility may well not exist anymore, but a lot of fertility has as much to do with lifestyle as it has to do with age. When I was 18 and 23, my diet was awful and I didn't exercise very much. When I was 30 I was doing both of those things really well. Being healthy when you're pregnant and delivering a healthy child comes down a lot to preparing for it physically and mentally, then finding a good team, and I imagine that largely remains true even up to menopause. Besides, if you delay parenthood while working hard, you can pay to have a surrogate to carry for you and egg donor. It's usually men who are obsessed with needing to have a child of their own biological lineage, not women. Most women can basically be fertile for as long as anyone would even want to be at the age of first becoming a parent. If a 50 year old-man wants to become a parent, even with a 23 year old, he's going to struggle with it. Most of the work is going to fall on his spouse's shoulders.


PKMKII

“no longer have value in the sexual market” hooooly shit what a fucking neckbeard. And if he sees dating/partnership as a “market” then you know he’s got some real smooth brained views on economics.


Azuray2

Lol if they have nothing else it’s the freaking audacity. This is why I chose to die childless and alone. I used to make dudes cry when I said I had no interest in marrying them or developing their splooge into something sentient. I’m sorry you went through all that


Danivelle

I would've had to literally sit on my hands during this conversation to avoid doing something well deserved to this person.


Flightlessbirbz

A few years? Average ages for first period and menopause are like 12 and 50. Pregnancies before like 15 and after 40 are less likely and less likely to be healthy, but still, that’s 25 fricken years of fertility. He clearly thinks all women are “no one important.”


Yveskleinsky

The level of misogyny out there is huge. Guys like this have been sucked into red pill ideology that seems like it's based in science, therefore, they take it as fact. And, frankly, I think they take comfort in their belief that women lose social value after the age of 30 because it makes them feel more valuable. I used to think their beliefs were just sad, but with all the craziness going on in the US, and knowing that people like this vote, I now view their beliefs as terrifying.


lucidrevolution

Unfortunately I've been encountering this even more so since the Roe mess imploded our access to dignified medical decisions... If he's that invested in the "patriarchy" he's probably going to need a lot of decompression to break through his walls of ignorance.


LetGo_n_LetDarwin

Because now that one of our rights has been taken away and women have been devalued as a result, these “men” think it’s safe to show their true colors.


evmarshall

I’m getting flashbacks to a time when I was called rude for make a snide remark to someone like this person. Like no one wants to address this person because of the drama/arguments it would cause form him, so everyone had to police their behavior to avoid it. I’m so glad I’m older could care less about these types.


iamthequeenofswords

I would tell host that if they invite that guy again you won't be coming and why you feel that way. Either they want his company or yours. If that's the kind of company they keep, maybe you don't want another invite.


UsualAnybody1807

Women, and any pain they may experience, aren't important to this guy, unless they meet his very narrow definition. Imagine working with this guy - you just know that any women coworkers are not being treated properly.


Xynomite

We have seen cases of women (technically girls who are victims of SA) get pregnant as young as 10 years old. We also have women getting pregnant at ages up to the 50s and even 60s in rare cases. Even if we used a range of 20 to 45 that is still 25 years where the average woman could easily be pregnant. That is more than 25% of her lifespan! How is that even close to “only a few years”? Yet the really ignorant and infuriating part of his statement is when he said it doesn’t impact “anyone important”. First of all every woman is someone important to someone else. Second, even if most people don’t care about most other people, chances are they do have at least a few women they feel are important. Maybe it is a mother, a sister, a close friend, a significant other, a daughter, or just a women they admire. All of those women are important. Nearly all of them will be able to become pregnant for decades of their lives. The only type of person who thinks the way this guy does is someone who lacks any type of real relationship with any women while also sucking at math and lacking the ability to understand basic logic. So basically an incel who lacks common sense.


TeruhashiKokomiDesu

Jesus Christ. The closer I get to the women in my life and the more I read this sub the more disturbed I get


UnexpectedBSOD

> It's not affecting anyone important. **Fuck you!**


odomotto

Learn and develop an uproarious fake laughter. Use it when someone says crap like this and offer no further comment. Do the laugh every time they say something. Nod dismissively and move on. Drives them crazy.


_PinkPirate

Also he’s totally wrong — technically we could have children while we are getting our periods so that’s literally like 40 YEARS of our lives. This guy is a fucking idiot.


Ann3Nym

Can we agree on stopping trying to be nice to people who insulted and demeaned us and instead just slap them? No debate about trying to convince people that we are a person but a direct punishment for those trying to negotiate how we could make our existence more benefitting to them? Thanks.


phred_666

“It’s not affecting anyone important”. WTF?! EVERYBODY is important. I never cease to be amazed at the stupidity and lack of empathy of people.


DiveCat

Only a few years? I started my period at 12. Over 30 years later I am still regular and if not for being sterilized would be having to worry about pregnancy. Oh and am happily married and have a very busy career I find enjoyable and fulfilling (most of the time!). I agree, how dare he.


CaliBounded

Hit dogs yelp. You don't even have to tell me that that man isn't married/partnered. Because only someone who wants to get married - or what it really means for men like him - have a bangmade to pop out kids, cook, clean, and prop up his ego for him - and can't would complain about the things he's complaining about. Only a chronically single 40 year old man would complain about that shit.


Caregiverrr

Everyone dies alone unless they are in a mass causality situation. Even if you die with loved ones around you, they leave out the door after you expire. Best come to terms with death before that happens. Living alone is a bit of a challenge but people come to terms with that as well. He’d be the type to make feel you’d rather live/die alone.


DollyLox

Women can only have children for a few years??? 😂😂😂 Girls can get their menstrual cycle as young as 9 but average around 11-12. They can continue to get pregnant up until menopause on average hits women around 60. That’s over half their average life span and all their adult years lmfao. The audacity.


IGoByPseudonym

My condolences for having to experience time with this insufferable person and a deplorable host.


Bee_Hummingbird

The rude dude is a lost cause, but I would urge you to talk to the host. Tell the whole story. Point out how rude it was that he shut you down but not that guy. And insist that you won't attend functions with that dude around anymore. If the host is a good person they will be horrified and either tell off or cut out the rude guy. If the host is trash he will disagree with you and you don't want to waste any more time with him anyway. Men need to be called out and it needs to be made blatantly obvious when they are enabling sexist assholes.


sangetencre

Well that guy is a fucking moron...among other things. >"I don't know why people are so upset about Roe v. Wade, women can only have children for a few years, so it's not affecting a lot of people. Women can get pregnant from the onset of menses (so...anywhere between 8 to 15) and full menopause (usually around 50). But that's only a "few years?" What a fucking dolt. >It's not affecting anyone important." Because he sees women as not important. Women are here to cater to him and make his life easier. He is the main character. >"The problem is that 70% of divorces are initiated by women. Mmhm. And for what reasons? That's important to know. >Women are getting tricked into believing they need all this education and then by the time they want to have a partner it's too late because they're over 30 and they no longer have value in the sexual market (he's 40), and now we have an epidemic of women dying alone because they got tricked into caring about careers instead of getting a husband and having children. How is a woman over 30 or over 40 going to find a partner?" Oh, Jesus Fucking Christ. Well, he's a lost cause. Also, everyone dies alone. And women, statistically, outlive men, so.... >by asking us women to please talk about something else. Of course. It's always on women to change their behavior.


sadisticfreak

If that MFR told me to shut up to my face, not even heaven could help him from my wrath


PeachyPlum3

I was 8 at the onset of my first period. When can bleed until last 40 sometimes. That's most of my life if I average out to 55 years of age.


mama_duck17

Well—to the first point of your story, my great grandmother *always* told my grandmother “never marry an Italian man” (she was in fact married to an Italian man) I guess that’s why. Who the hell wants a grown ass man child to look after???


Strong-Cap-1253

I meant I just thought that I would have told him "Dude, between marrying someone of the likes of you, dying alone seems such as a super good company for me!"


Snoozin207

A few years huh? Just like 25. No biggie.


HalfPint1885

Yeah, just the ages from about 12-50. Nothing important. /s


Snoozin207

You’re right. More like 35 years.


fibrepirate

From about a month before her first period, to well into her fifties, a woman can have a child every year or two. This does not mean she should, especially not at the extreme edges of her fertility window. That's easily 40 years of her life when she could potentially have children, with at least a 20 year window of when she would probably be in her best health position to do so. That does not mean that she should have a child every year or so. Or ever. Pregnancy is downright dangerous.


one_bean_hahahaha

Not to mention the 18+ years required to raise said child. 40 year fertility window, but 60 years of raising children? No thanks.


hodlboo

This guy literally thinks like an incel and belongs in the 1950s. This is the kind of guy who you do not entertain with a response because he is so far gone down his rabbit hole of misogyny and antiquated gender constructs. The host really fucked up by protecting him. Also, another man should have called him out since he obviously couldn’t process or handle the ego shock of reasoning coming from a woman. The most this guy should get is a pitying smirk as you turn your back to him, and “thank you for sharing your unusual opinion.” Seriously, these people are not worth engaging with.


_myblueheaven

Oh fuck no. Rebuke that shit.


Own_Confection4645

30-35 is actually when women are most fertile (not to mention how demeaning what he said was). What on earth is this guy talking about?


mycatiscalledFrodo

He sounds like he is bitter, single man, who doesn't have enough common sense to realise why he is single. He is also very ignorant about human females! A child can get pregnant from when she ovulates, and seeing as you ovulate before your period that could be any time from about 9 and you are still at risk until about a year after your last period which could be 55 or even 60......50 years isn't a particularly short amount of time if I'm honest!!! Glad you chose to ignore him


meetmypuka

For me, "a few years" = 42. So far. And I got married at 44.


[deleted]

>I couldn't say what I was really thinking because I didn't want to be rude to our host Why would your host be OK with this rude man braying rude things at other guests, but not OK with your responding to him?


Middle_Data_9563

"Please talk about something else, you're making inadequate people feel bad about their half-baked thoughts"


Vyuken

Right off the bat u can tell this dude just wanted to blame women for something lol All that sounds fucked up im sorry u went through all that.


duglarri

I wonder if it's religion? I live in a place where none of us are religious or have religious training, and I must say, I cannot think of one, single, solitary, sole person I know who would have the kinds of attitudes you describe here. Nobody thinks like this around here. We all think pretty much like you do, and would be equally appalled at this person. Okay, well, maybe I do know one person like this. Who thinks women should not be allowed to vote. But you would be in the vast majority where I live.


PuckGoodfellow

I think about [this thread](https://twitter.com/DapperDomo/status/1412120738119757836) a lot. >Men have to now get women to like them and a lot of men aren’t likable. > >Let’s be honest about the situation. How many generation of men in history have ever had to get women to like them in order to have women be with them? > >We’re probably the first to ever have this. So nobody knows what to do. > >We’re 2 generations removed from a woman not being able to have a bank account without a man. > >3-4 removed from when they couldn’t buy a home, couldn’t work, couldn’t get educated, they couldn’t do shit without a man. > >Women quite literally used to need a nigga. So they had to be with somebody regardless of if they liked the man or not. > >Today they truthfully don’t. They can leave yo ass and be perfectly fine, hell some of them might be better off. > >Your grandfather was probably a horrible husband. > >Like at best he was probably emotionally distant and patriarchal. > >Niggas used to have two whole families miles apart of each other and was emotionally abusive to both. That’s not flying today, & truthfully speaking it shouldn’t. > >A lot of men want the same relationships they saw their families had but never thought to ask were the women happy in those situations. > >The real answer is a lot of them weren’t. > >So fast forward to today where a woman truthfully speaking don’t need yo ass. You gotta come harder than your ancestors. Gotta have some substance. > >And a lot of these niggas just don’t got no substance.


TXBrownSnake

First of all, it not only affects the women (in a sociopathic way, more on that later) but I can give a prime example of why men should be upset. Military readiness. The US military doesn’t give a rats ass about sky gods or politics. They care about readiness. These strict anti-abortion laws and the coming attack on contraception won’t just impact the readiness of the women, it’ll impact the readiness of the men. Real men, who have to stress out even more than usually if some piece of shit rapes their kids and they can’t do the right thing and get an abortion in their own neighborhood and have to travel to Indiana. Real men who will stress out when their teenage daughters or teenage sons get/get someone pregnant and can’t just push the reset button and save themselves from a life of stupidity, poverty and misery. Wasting their potential because some idiot theocrat thinks “oh, just have the baby, because life!”. Or when some stupid Jody gets their dependa pregnant and they can’t just abort and forgive, but now they have to get a divorce or be a pathetic Simp the rest of their lives and eventually engage in self-harm. Or when some wannabe dependa can trap them. Men who don’t get that aren’t real men. They’re either misogynist neckbeards, theocrats, or straight up cowardly incels. Like this guy. This is what happens when you have young Americans taking advice on gender and sexuality from dudes who were virgins until they were in their mid-20s like Ben Shapiro. We used to laugh guys like this out the room.


ugdontknow

If you met this guy on a dating site and went on a couple dates then he brought this up any sane woman would run like the wind.


Peacemaker1855

Expect anything from a fool and HE will call YOU foolish! Laugh at this guy. He is a fucking tool. Not all of us are like "him." Eject him from your consciousness and let him wallow in his own reality of garbage.


zombiemadre

I think what he was trying to articulate s/ is women no longer need men. So for me as a women am going to have to actual like a man to stay with him. I am sorry you had to endure this garbage human.


Bunyflufy

He is a loser and a creep. Why he’s alone and is hoping beyond hope that some poor unsuspecting woman sleeps with him and bam, built in House keeper and cook. Check in on your boy in 5 years. I guarantee nothing will have changed. B/c its really not you. It’s him!


petiteandpale16

I would've literally walked away mid sentence of him saying women are getting tricked into getting an education. Byeeeeeeeee!


Not_a_N_Korean_Spy

for a second I got hopeful when you mentioned the host intervening to defuse the situation... and then, well, I should have known better... screw both of them (and any other man who decided to keep silent).


[deleted]

Stories like this make me nauseous and sad. I have no idea how you "two x chromosome" folks don't just strangle and stomp these idiots. OTOH the host was a dick.


Typhoon2142

This is what religion will do to good people. They turn into monsters.