I would find a place where the staff is aware that women are human beings and won't allow abuse.


THIS! It can be kind of rare, but I used to frequent a little dive bar with my ex to play pool. The staff was almost entirely women from a broad age range who weren’t afraid to be tough and loud because, well, I guess when you serve almost exclusively drunk old guys you learn how to hold your own. They were always quick to ask any women in a group or alone if they were comfortable, or wouldn’t think twice to call out scummy dudes who wouldn’t leave someone alone. It was also a pretty small bar tho so it was easy for them to keep an eye on people.


I...I didn't even think of this as a possibility...the bartenders are super busy, and they're really non-confrontational. One night there was a guy who was totally acting a fool (he kissed me on the cheek at one point) and other bargoers literally dragged him outside.


Where is this a thing??? I go to dive bars all the time and have never had this issue! Hit on sure but touched???? What the fuck?!


suburban socal. 😬




There's only two I consider local, unfortunately. I'm starting to go to the further one because they have better tables, and the men at the other one are getting to me.


Vocalize. “Please don’t touch me, I don’t like it.” If you get someone who insists or whines “what’s the big deal” reiterate you don’t like it and point out you deserve the same respect it were *their* wife or daughter.


You’d probably need to get lucky with the crowd that goes there more than anything, usually when that kind of thing stops nobody calls it a dive anymore. If you’re just looking for a place that serves drinks and plays pool, then you’re way better off searching billiards or pool halls than dive bars, which are inherently places for low behavior


I have considered this, but the pool hall is like 20 miles away. It sucks that the local place full of people who live within like 5 miles of me is super seedy. 😑


Make friends with the staff and make sure they know the problem. And personally, when somebody touches me, I elbow them.


In the different towns and cities I’ve lived in I’ve been lucky to find good dive bars where staff and clientele both tend to be pretty supportive and work to build safe spaces. I can’t speak to the area you live in, but you could try and find a dive bar where staff work to keep people from being shitheads. It sucks only being confined to a “safe space” but better a place that preserves your safety than one that doesn’t.


Try organizing a pool club with tournaments and prizes and such.


Funny enough that bar hosts matches for a league and has its own team. My favorite times to go are league night because I can play with players as they warm up for the night and they're way more respectful in general.


Don’t go to dive bars as a woman over 30. Frequent pool halls if you love pool.


Why does it matter if you're over 30?


It doesn’t. But a woman that gets older deserves something a lot more classier than being around loser men. I’ve seen only the worst type of men at dives. Rapists, predators, etc. Those kind of guys frequent higher end places a lot less.


Yeah, I stopped going as a single woman. My night was more about keeping men off me than enjoying myself. There were nice people who would come "save me" but I shouldn't have to be saved from being miserable at a bar.


I am not a big fan of dive bars. I won't go to straight bars even though I am a transgender male and attracted to women which makes me straight and a member of the LGBT community. Men are so fucking insecure. A woman being better than them at anything turns many of them off. Women also tend to help perpetuate this kind of behavior. When I was a lot younger and married to a male and trying to be straight a bat got into our house. My husband at the time ran into the bathroom dragging me with him. I asked him why we were hiding and he said bats have rabies. I was like oh fuck no that is not going to be going on in my kids bedroom so I had to fight him to get the door open. Then After unsuccessfully attempting to knock the bat down so I could toss him outside my husband finally came out of hiding and took the broom away and hit it hard enough to kill it. Later when he told the story it was he who bravely fought the bat off and I was the one hiding. I was like oh no you are not taking credit for this and I told what really happened. My sister took me aside and said that I should have let him save face and tell the story his way. So much for female solidarity.


I don't understand traditional relationships, tbh. I see shit like that happen all the time in couples, usually cishet ones, and especially women coddling their male partner's ego like that. The pool analog of this is me carrying our team making runs through the whole game, but my partner sinks the 8 ball, and the other team congratulates only him on the win. 😐