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Gardeningfailure

I’m so sorry you missed it, but please don’t hate yourself. When we talk hateful and mean to ourselves our brain takes it just like someone else saying it to us. You made a mistake, you feel bad, but forgive yourself. Think about how you can prevent something like this from happening in future. Wearing a watch vs using phone, keep a planner. Just tell your friend that your terribly sorry and y’all can FaceTime to stay in touch.


Large-Fishstick

Thanks, it just sucks because these things always happen and I should really be more prepared.


Gardeningfailure

Well use it as a learning lesson, you sound very intelligent and you can gain mastery over your ADHD. Its a learning curve though, we all make mistakes, the important part is learning how to prevent it again.


Large-Fishstick

Thanks


ITisinmycoffee

There were probably a lot of people trying to wish him well at the same time anyway, so at least there's that. You could clarify that it was an oversight if you think his feelings were hurt and move forward. You sound like you're learning from these experiences, and even though it happened twice, I don't think any of us are exactly the same in 3rd grade as in high school, so please be kind to yourself. Can you still see him and say goodbye before he leaves? I think ADHD has hindered my relationships with friends too, but I will say that the best ones remain even through those communication gaps and gaffes.


Large-Fishstick

I already texted him apologizing and what not and he’s super understanding. I probably won’t see him again before he leaves because I’m going to Florida this week for a wedding. My point in bringing up the fact that this happened in 3rd grade is that I was a kid back then so it’s understandable for me to forget events and what not but I just feel like I shouldn’t still be making the same mistakes I did when I was a kid.


ITisinmycoffee

Oh, well good news and bad news: that's not a mistake that only kiddos make. :) Life can feel like a bunch of mistakes interspersed with funny and good moments, but the sooner we learn to laugh about our foibles, the better. You sound like you're on the right track already.


MsFloofNoofle

Talk to him! I know it’s frustrating and you wanted to be there for him. A genuine apology and maybe sending him a card after his move could go a long way. Tangent story… my husband and I were an hour late to his brothers wedding yesterday. Totally missed the ceremony. Of course we felt terrible but this is adhd territory.


Large-Fishstick

How could I prevent this kind of thing happening again in the future?


Zahanna6

Maybe get someone else to check the invite and then set many alarms? Reply back to the person inviting you and say you'll see them e.g. "around 6", to give them a chance to correct the time. And "around" not "at" because ADHD :)


MsFloofNoofle

I try to put everything in my calendar and adjust the reminders so that I have plenty of time to get from one activity to another. Except my BILs wedding, evidently 🤪.) I’ve also gotten in the habit of adding things to my calendar as they are planned so that I don’t end up with overlapping appointments. It took a few years but I finally figured out that I couldn’t be in two places at once. Shit happens though. In 2020 I bought plane tickets to see my grandparents for thanksgiving …. on the wrong week. I was so certain that I even convinced my dad, who bought tickets for the same (wrong) dates. My husband was the one who figured it out and set us straight. We have a wedding gift from my older brother with the date of our wedding engraved on it….except I got the day mixed up and told him it was on the 12th instead of the 21st. It’s proudly displayed in our living room and we get a good laugh out of it. Even when you find a strategy that works for you, there can still be glitches. And that’s ok! Finally, I’ll share one last thing. You are a good friend, it’s obvious. Imagine if someone was talking to your friend in the same way that your inner voice is currently talking to you…. wouldn’t you jump in to defend them? You deserve that level of care from yourself. Don’t let you treat you in a way that you wouldn’t let someone else treat a person you love. Hopefully that makes sense ❤️ E u/Large-Fishstick I mean to reply to you lol


Large-Fishstick

Thank you, I think I really need to start setting reminders and alarms for ALL EVENTS even if I think I won’t need it because every time I think I won’t need a reminder I forget. I’ll have to work on not beating myself up about mistakes like this but your advice has been very helpful😅


MsFloofNoofle

I’m so happy to help! Please know that you always have a community of likeminded folks on here. We love you and your irl friends love you too ☺️


Large-Fishstick

Ok, thx