By - mariao243
Hello u/mariao243 ,
Thank you for submitting to r/TwoSentenceHorror. Unfortunately, your submission ["As a child, I often liked to play in the grass."](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/uvnli3/as_a_child_i_often_liked_to_play_in_the_grass/) has been removed because it violates the following rule:
**Rule 1: Attempt to tell a story**
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* Do not post links in the story.
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* Low-effort posts will be removed.
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ok im ready. unpause
Me explaining what the primary antagonist but also protagonist from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stradust Crusaders ability does.
Woah it’s my favorite Reddit user
Fucking Dio! I loved the original 13-episode series. I also liked Stardust Crusaders and have only watched a few episodes of Diamond is Unbreakable.
Nah. I say we fast forward this shit
In Two Sentence Horror, grass touch you!
Was the Soviet Russia thing just a yo mama thing or did it originate from somewhere else?
It's from the comedy of Yakov Smirnoff. "In America, you find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party finds you!"
In your mom’s bedroom, I am Sigmund Freud
"I hate sex jokes so much guys"
What the fuck does this mean
He's addicted to the reefer cigarettes, man! The devil's grass will be his end! Pot: not even once!
Don’t ask questions you’re not prepared to hear the answer to
No srsly tho what is this shit
OP read that sex offender arc from 80's Swamp Thing
I'mookkng through comments to see if there's an answer. Several about "touching grass, whatever that is, and several saying it's a sex joke. Sex? What? Grass?
What significant life lesson could come from a r/twosentencehorror entry?
*muttering* don't say it, don't say it, don't say it...
*GRASS TENTACLE HENTAI*
I wish I could reply to this with the video of Steve Harvey screaming good answer
go to horny jail.
\***B O N K\***
*Deep breath* Bonk me harder.
doubleplusungood thoughtcrime refs unperson miniluv
\***T A Z E\***
Taze me harder
Backup has arrived wh- OH HELL NO *shoots* nobody can be in to that
Shoot me harder Daddy
OH HELL NO NO IM OUT *speed walks away* NOPE NOT DOING THIS
walk away faster baby
*stops walking* WHYYYY ME!!!!
Shut it I dont wanna hear it
Walk on me please
No i wont
They are too powerful to remain alive.
Please shut the fuck up
What are you doing, step grass?
Is that what that meant?
something tells me you have a porn addiction and it’s far too late to save you from your untimely demise. Just speculation though.
Bro, first off, the OP is being toxic in the comments lmao
2nd why are they upset people made it a sex joke? What was OP expecting?
800+ upvotes and counting, too. I’m so confused
In any case, my first thought was that it was a weed/drug-related story, not sex lol
Well, yeah, I wasn't quite sure tbh but the "IN" part could be misleading
that’s where I went as well. OP getting hella pressed too.
Grass sounding? Grass dildo?
Grass pegging 🤤🤤🤤
What are you doing step-grass?
You definitely have a porn addiction
Oo dang, that edge tho.
I see you chose violence today
* makes a way to vague post
* somehow gets upvotes
* refuses to explain his vague story
* is hella toxic at anyone who misinterprets it
* STILL wont explain
Clown status achieved
edit: i think its a bug thing, like he played in the grass, aquired some bugs, whom now play around in his belly
I thought op meant that hes smoking weed now. The grass "plays" in him aka making him trip
> somehow gets upvotes
That's the case with half the stories here lol.
OP is literally nothing but an asshole in these comments lol
Are you a 9 year old edgelord or something, wtf are these comments?!
My man, you really gotta work on your replies. I get that you're probably sarcastic or overacting, but dem words come off mean
In soviet Russia...
Who pissed in your tea this morning?
Why did my brain correctly auto-complete this? That's enough internet for today.
uhhhhh i dont get it
Neither do I.
Hey let me do my thing
🎵Smoke weed every day!🎶
No thank you
You should try it. Judging by your comments you really need to relax.
Looking through the comments, the only thing that's blazin' right now is your temper
Touching grass on another level
no no no you don’t get it the grass is touching ME.
Is this meant to be a sex joke? Cuz this comes across as a sex joke.
Just because you asked, I’m going to answer no just to spite you
Edit: actually no it’s because I hate sex jokes and this is not one of them
Bro smoking weed 💀
You’re gonna be the one who’s smoking soon
* Checks Username
Mariao more like marijuana lmaoo
I hope you get minorly inconvenienced as many times as possible within the next week
[For OP with love](https://c.tenor.com/fSS2_V2AvuIAAAAM/breaking-bad-gus.gif)
As a child, I often liked to eat sand.
I don’t like sand
I like sand! Tastes like dead skin.
Now the sand likes to eat me
i ate sand so much as a kid….kids these days don’t eat sand anymore, my baby cousin looked at me like i was insane when i told her that. that’s the real horror story
No you didn’t
I promise so many children legitimately ate sand
I don't get it
I'm assuming he's dead and the earth is retaking him?
my corporeal form shall soon become one with this sacred soil
He's a cow.
I came for the post. I downvoted for the entire body of comments (so far) having been turned into a miasma of confusion and a waste of my time.
According to your logic, could you just as well have not read mine? Sincere question. I explained my downvote in part because I'm not sure if it's a valid or constructive reason to downvote.
You're here to ... what? criticize my comment? I complained that my time had been wasted, not that I wasted my own time. Your reason seems to suggest that I should have known the content before I read it.
If you just want to casually express an immediate reaction like that, and then take digs at me for fun, enjoy yourself. That's pretty human, so I understand it and do it too. Less often as I get (much) older and (very slightly) wiser.
If you want to discuss in good faith, pls DM me.
have fun playing with grass
Seasonal allergies joke?
I’m so fucking confused, and reading this comment section certainly didn’t help
This makes no sense, and what makes it even worse is that OP is being so toxic in these comments.
Did… you eat it…?
Found the Steven king fan
nah man fuck that guy
This isn't what people mean when they say touch grass OP
Ah hell nah my dude getting fucked by grass
I think YOU'RE 12 ya weird edgelord.
better switch to GPS, IR missiles would struggle tracking a house.
No, there are blades of grass inside my body
wtf does that even mean
Good for you I guess?
🎵*maybe I could eat blades of grass*🎵
Funny sex joke
I am laughing
go touch some grass into you
talking about grass, someone really needs to weed out the shitty, nonsensical posts in this sub! (like this one)
This is dumb
I’m Soviet Russia, you don’t play in grass. Grass play in you
I thought this was r/trees
Bro ate a watermelon seed
I see you've watched the Wakfuk zone parody
You have a porn addiction
100% trying to quit only makes me relapse so fuck it
Umm… *looks suspiciously at my backyard*
I would like to apologize for my behavior in these comments
at least homie apologized
Okay, now will we get to know what that post means?
what da grass doin😳
I said what I said.
Mother fucker I don’t even think you know what you said
Schizophrenia patients be like
Not cool man don’t make fun of mental illness, and you’re talking about DID not schizophrenia
I have two large patches of brown grass on me
For some reason this made me think of King’s short story “The Lawnmower Man” (no, not the movie)
Well I mean
When you're a pothead like me, grass be having a field day inside me daily
Unbeknownst to myself, so did the roach man.
Doesnt op means that he died and now buried, but his soul is now stuck.
OP, you are a clown. What does this even mean
Yo this is such a good two sentence horror but why is OP a jerk 😭
This subreddit is actually just a joke sub right? I have yet to see a single one of these that’s “scary” lol. The top posts of all time are literally stolen from stand up comedians
It used to be good like 4 months ago idk what the fuck happened. Nothing is scary anymore, r/nosleep is much better
Hey, OP, are you ok?
I think you might be taking those comments a bit too serious. I don't think those guys are making fun of you, they are just highlighting the double entendre.
There's no problem if you don't find it amusing, but try not to take it personal
This is just dumb, and screw OP for being an ass when people are genuinely confused.
So the key to upvotes in this sub is to just post stories no one understands, so that they upvote it so they don't feel stupid?
I'd advise against trying it. I think most people upvoted cause they see it as "haha sex/weed joke."
Ba da da da da
I’ve been staring at the TSH for half an hour now and I still don’t get it.
maybe the real grass is the friends we made along the way
I think he means weed
How in gods name did this get 1.4k
Dumb OP, writing dumb things.
I hate most of these comments I hate Reddit Reddit Reddit fuck
Have you tried reddit reddit reddit?
what about reddit reddit reddit reddit?
then get off reddit you fucking dickhead. Just stop responding then. The fuck did you expect.
My dude, you posted on REDDIT of all places, and expected quality comments?