T O P
Flair_Helper

Hello u/mariao243 , Thank you for submitting to r/TwoSentenceHorror. Unfortunately, your submission ["As a child, I often liked to play in the grass."](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/uvnli3/as_a_child_i_often_liked_to_play_in_the_grass/) has been removed because it violates the following rule: **Rule 1: Attempt to tell a story** * ***ABSOLUTELY NO TRIGGER WARNINGS!*** Visitors read these stories at their own risk. * Do not post links in the story. * Anything that is not the story; Edits, asking for feedback, links to relevant information, and so on, are to be made in the comments. * Low-effort posts will be removed. * Stories must stand on their own without specific prior knowledge of any fandom or any real-world event. * More information can be found here: [Telling A Story](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/wiki/rules/tell_a_story) If you believe this removal was performed in error, please [contact the mods here.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FTwoSentenceHorror). ***DO NOT*** contact any moderators directly via chat or personal mail, or you may receive a ban.


Familypiess

Pause


TryHardKenichi

⏸️


MyLittleRocketShip

ok im ready. unpause


TryHardKenichi

▶️


FuckYeahPhotography

Me explaining what the primary antagonist but also protagonist from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stradust Crusaders ability does.


epicbigc13579

Woah it’s my favorite Reddit user


ArsonGamer

Pause again


_Neeroo_

⏸️


TryHardKenichi

Fucking Dio! I loved the original 13-episode series. I also liked Stardust Crusaders and have only watched a few episodes of Diamond is Unbreakable.


mariao243

Nah. I say we fast forward this shit


Exciting-Unit279


blackmaresani

KINGU CRIMSON


ProphetofTables

In Two Sentence Horror, grass touch you!


thisisthesideofme

Was the Soviet Russia thing just a yo mama thing or did it originate from somewhere else?


ZurigaSungama

It's from the comedy of Yakov Smirnoff. "In America, you find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party finds you!"


mariao243

In your mom’s bedroom, I am Sigmund Freud


DefectiveLP

"I hate sex jokes so much guys"


ThePurpleSoul70

What the fuck does this mean


EpitaFelis

He's addicted to the reefer cigarettes, man! The devil's grass will be his end! Pot: not even once!


mariao243

Don’t ask questions you’re not prepared to hear the answer to


Jonamuffin

No srsly tho what is this shit


CreativeBake7

grass porn


Revenge_of_the_Toast

OP read that sex offender arc from 80's Swamp Thing


Tinsel-Fop

I'mookkng through comments to see if there's an answer. Several about "touching grass, whatever that is, and several saying it's a sex joke. Sex? What? Grass?


TheStrangestOfKings

What significant life lesson could come from a r/twosentencehorror entry?


SureWhyNot5182

*muttering* don't say it, don't say it, don't say it... *GRASS TENTACLE HENTAI*


The-snail_

I wish I could reply to this with the video of Steve Harvey screaming good answer


ProphetofTables

go to horny jail. \***B O N K\***


SureWhyNot5182

*Deep breath* Bonk me harder.


ProphetofTables

doubleplusungood thoughtcrime refs unperson miniluv \***T A Z E\***


Skar_YT

Taze me harder


Mitchtheprotogen

Backup has arrived wh- OH HELL NO *shoots* nobody can be in to that


Snoo21383

Shoot me harder Daddy


Mitchtheprotogen

OH HELL NO NO IM OUT *speed walks away* NOPE NOT DOING THIS


AndrogynousCayde-6

walk away faster baby


Mitchtheprotogen

*stops walking* WHYYYY ME!!!!


Mitchtheprotogen

Shut it I dont wanna hear it


Snoo21383

Walk on me please


Mitchtheprotogen

No i wont


Ori_the_SG

They are too powerful to remain alive.


mariao243

Please shut the fuck up


adm_ashraf26

What are you doing, step grass?


5-dig-dick

Is that what that meant?


mariao243

something tells me you have a porn addiction and it’s far too late to save you from your untimely demise. Just speculation though.


AgentSrell777

Bro, first off, the OP is being toxic in the comments lmao 2nd why are they upset people made it a sex joke? What was OP expecting?


glumauig21

800+ upvotes and counting, too. I’m so confused In any case, my first thought was that it was a weed/drug-related story, not sex lol


AgentSrell777

Well, yeah, I wasn't quite sure tbh but the "IN" part could be misleading


Ccend

that’s where I went as well. OP getting hella pressed too.


3milyBlazze

..............what


GTS250

Grass sounding? Grass dildo?


BlastingFern134

Grass pegging 🤤🤤🤤


elliotdweck

What are you doing step-grass?


mariao243

You definitely have a porn addiction


elliotdweck

Hmmmm...


[deleted]

[удалено]


elliotdweck

Rough


Malurra

Oo dang, that edge tho.


sleepykittenxx

I see you chose violence today


EMIFAULT

* makes a way to vague post * somehow gets upvotes * refuses to explain his vague story * is hella toxic at anyone who misinterprets it * STILL wont explain Clown status achieved edit: i think its a bug thing, like he played in the grass, aquired some bugs, whom now play around in his belly


deadgirlinabox666

I thought op meant that hes smoking weed now. The grass "plays" in him aka making him trip


ItsNeannnnn

> somehow gets upvotes That's the case with half the stories here lol.


LordDerptCat123

OP is literally nothing but an asshole in these comments lol


FreddyPlayz

Are you a 9 year old edgelord or something, wtf are these comments?!


Practical-Battle

My man, you really gotta work on your replies. I get that you're probably sarcastic or overacting, but dem words come off mean


mistaque

In soviet Russia...


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lucifer6201

Who pissed in your tea this morning?


sydplaysstuff

r/twosentencehentai


mariao243

Shut up


Theeletter6

no u


mastermithi29

Based


Prestigious_Back7980

Why did my brain correctly auto-complete this? That's enough internet for today.


Weekly_Town_2076

uhhhhh i dont get it


TjMooree

Neither do I.


DudeWithAPermedHead

Bro? 🤨📸


mariao243

Hey let me do my thing


Breakfast_Bagelz

🎵Smoke weed every day!🎶


mariao243

No thank you


[deleted]

You should try it. Judging by your comments you really need to relax.


Breakfast_Bagelz

Looking through the comments, the only thing that's blazin' right now is your temper


BlastingFern134

Touching grass on another level


mariao243

no no no you don’t get it the grass is touching ME.


despair_pancake

Is this meant to be a sex joke? Cuz this comes across as a sex joke.


mariao243

Just because you asked, I’m going to answer no just to spite you Edit: actually no it’s because I hate sex jokes and this is not one of them


Raider0401

Bro smoking weed 💀


mariao243

You’re gonna be the one who’s smoking soon


Raider0401

* Checks Username Mariao more like marijuana lmaoo


mariao243

I hope you get minorly inconvenienced as many times as possible within the next week


Raider0401

[For OP with love](https://c.tenor.com/fSS2_V2AvuIAAAAM/breaking-bad-gus.gif)


IntelligentBison97

As a child, I often liked to eat sand.


AboveOutrageous3

I don’t like sand


IntelligentBison97

I like sand! Tastes like dead skin.


Shredded_Wheaties

Now the sand likes to eat me


i-am-a-salty-bitch

i ate sand so much as a kid….kids these days don’t eat sand anymore, my baby cousin looked at me like i was insane when i told her that. that’s the real horror story


mariao243

No you didn’t


IntelligentBison97

Yes. Did.


lockeddonotopen

I promise so many children legitimately ate sand


AwkwardAkwardness

I don't get it


raysweater

I'm assuming he's dead and the earth is retaking him?


mariao243

my corporeal form shall soon become one with this sacred soil


MrPezevenk

He's a cow.


mariao243

Good.


Jreyn2

I came for the post. I downvoted for the entire body of comments (so far) having been turned into a miasma of confusion and a waste of my time.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jreyn2

According to your logic, could you just as well have not read mine? Sincere question. I explained my downvote in part because I'm not sure if it's a valid or constructive reason to downvote.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jreyn2

You're here to ... what? criticize my comment? I complained that my time had been wasted, not that I wasted my own time. Your reason seems to suggest that I should have known the content before I read it. If you just want to casually express an immediate reaction like that, and then take digs at me for fun, enjoy yourself. That's pretty human, so I understand it and do it too. Less often as I get (much) older and (very slightly) wiser. If you want to discuss in good faith, pls DM me.


Developemt

have fun playing with grass


mariao243

No thank you


ventscalmes

Seasonal allergies joke?


MaybeNate_

I’m so fucking confused, and reading this comment section certainly didn’t help


xDarkPhoenix8161x

This makes no sense, and what makes it even worse is that OP is being so toxic in these comments.


dubaducky

Tf


The_Poptart_Cat

Did… you eat it…?


mariao243

yes.


[deleted]

Found the Steven king fan


mariao243

nah man fuck that guy


philanthropicgremlin

This isn't what people mean when they say touch grass OP


Friendly_Respecter

Ah hell nah my dude getting fucked by grass


[deleted]

[удалено]


CheddarmanTheSecond

I think YOU'RE 12 ya weird edgelord.


Theeletter6

better switch to GPS, IR missiles would struggle tracking a house.


turtleguy955

Weed allegory?


mariao243

No, there are blades of grass inside my body


siomaisiomai

wtf does that even mean


MrPezevenk

Good for you I guess?


NotASinner_

🎵*maybe I could eat blades of grass*🎵


king-kitty

Funny sex joke


[deleted]

[удалено]


BorgerKinge

I am laughing


CreativeBake7

go touch some grass into you \*dabs\*


A_Plague_Druid

...wot


blckmrrenthusiast

talking about grass, someone really needs to weed out the shitty, nonsensical posts in this sub! (like this one)


whatisdoneinlove

This is dumb


RIOTT44

😩


Scorpion_226

Hol up


A__shoe

I’m Soviet Russia, you don’t play in grass. Grass play in you


Chavo_of_the_8th

I thought this was r/trees


[deleted]

Bro ate a watermelon seed


Aryan_RG22

I see you've watched the Wakfuk zone parody


mariao243

You have a porn addiction


Aryan_RG22

100% trying to quit only makes me relapse so fuck it


MarsterMcfly01

Umm… *looks suspiciously at my backyard*


mariao243

I would like to apologize for my behavior in these comments


5-dig-dick

Fair


Ccend

at least homie apologized


LolnothingmattersXD

Okay, now will we get to know what that post means?


flowergirlsunder

what da grass doin😳


mariao243

I said what I said.


Ccend

Mother fucker I don’t even think you know what you said


RicardoRicky-_-

Schizophrenia patients be like


wilde-cherry

Not cool man don’t make fun of mental illness, and you’re talking about DID not schizophrenia


Affectionate-Ball-35

I have two large patches of brown grass on me


azianflu

For some reason this made me think of King’s short story “The Lawnmower Man” (no, not the movie)


ughplea5e

bestie what…


bbiggppoppa

r/twosentencesus


Zoaxia

Well I mean When you're a pothead like me, grass be having a field day inside me daily


69_de4nn2nis0ss_69

Unbeknownst to myself, so did the roach man.


CrymsonReaper

Doesnt op means that he died and now buried, but his soul is now stuck.


[deleted]

OP, you are a clown. What does this even mean


lockeddonotopen

Yo this is such a good two sentence horror but why is OP a jerk 😭


Ori_the_SG

r/holup


---Sanguine---

This subreddit is actually just a joke sub right? I have yet to see a single one of these that’s “scary” lol. The top posts of all time are literally stolen from stand up comedians


cytrack718

It used to be good like 4 months ago idk what the fuck happened. Nothing is scary anymore, r/nosleep is much better


helesar

Hey, OP, are you ok? I think you might be taking those comments a bit too serious. I don't think those guys are making fun of you, they are just highlighting the double entendre. There's no problem if you don't find it amusing, but try not to take it personal


13earback

This is just dumb, and screw OP for being an ass when people are genuinely confused.


TkOHarley

So the key to upvotes in this sub is to just post stories no one understands, so that they upvote it so they don't feel stupid?


Altruis_zed

I'd advise against trying it. I think most people upvoted cause they see it as "haha sex/weed joke."


Moist-Wheel1828

Ba da da da da


Giant-Genitals

I’ve been staring at the TSH for half an hour now and I still don’t get it.


TacticalGamer893

maybe the real grass is the friends we made along the way


ConsequenceWest

I think he means weed


SiriuslySarcastic

How in gods name did this get 1.4k


Andigod

Dumb OP, writing dumb things.


mariao243

I hate most of these comments I hate Reddit Reddit Reddit fuck


LHRCheshire

Have you tried reddit reddit reddit?


Ccend

what about reddit reddit reddit reddit?


name_1nvalid

then get off reddit you fucking dickhead. Just stop responding then. The fuck did you expect.


lockeddonotopen

My dude, you posted on REDDIT of all places, and expected quality comments?


Flair_Helper

Hello u/mariao243 , Thank you for submitting to r/TwoSentenceHorror. Unfortunately, your submission ["As a child, I often liked to play in the grass."](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/uvnli3/as_a_child_i_often_liked_to_play_in_the_grass/) has been removed because it violates the following rule: **Rule 1: Attempt to tell a story** * ***ABSOLUTELY NO TRIGGER WARNINGS!*** Visitors read these stories at their own risk. * Do not post links in the story. * Anything that is not the story; Edits, asking for feedback, links to relevant information, and so on, are to be made in the comments. * Low-effort posts will be removed. * Stories must stand on their own without specific prior knowledge of any fandom or any real-world event. * More information can be found here: [Telling A Story](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/wiki/rules/tell_a_story) If you believe this removal was performed in error, please [contact the mods here.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FTwoSentenceHorror). ***DO NOT*** contact any moderators directly via chat or personal mail, or you may receive a ban.