It seems playing co-op games makes people act nicer. I was playing Deep Rock Galactic the other night and there was a girl on mic. No one said shit about it and we all just played well. She complimented me on my score (had slightly more gunner kills than her engineer, which usually engineer gets more if they're really good) after the mission was done and that was nice. I hate dealing with guys that make it a big deal one way or another. Just play and have fun.


DRG has like, THE nicest and most helpful coop community. Idk if it's just that the game design is so slick and makes cooperating so fluid or what!?


I think it's just that it's a relatively small community compared to things like League of Legends of any of the major Battle Royales. That's how it usually goes for most smaller games. Better communities. Then it gets bigger and all the assholes come in.


It's also PVE and doesn't have a Competitive mode with a digital rank next to your name that makes people become totally delusional with self-worth. DRG is fantastic.


Oh man, it always suuuucks when one of your teammates is a girl and all of a sudden your other teammate starts trying to flirt and completely changes once he hears a girls voice. So cringey. I feel that Deep Rock as a whole is a pretty wholesome community too which is always nice!


I play DRG with my GF all the time and never see this behavior. Nobody cares. I think competitive games bring out the worst in some people.


I avoid using my mic at all costs when playing with randoms because of this. That way, I get treated like any other dude, which is way better. It sucks that this is still such a massive problem.


Yes 100%. My husband is always saying to find a team on Discord.. get friends to be consistent and top playing etc. I'd like that, but my experience is awful as soon as they realize I'm a woman. The worst of it was someone elses kid making noise through their mic, and then the Main douche spent the rest of the match explaining how big my vagina was after birthing kids. Very explicit. I remeber it well and I was the reason they won that match, no doubt. But shitty men will he shitty their are good ones out there. For example.. My partner empathizes and his clan treat girls fantastic on Destiny. Not extra just normal shut talk. I'm proud of his team. Several times they have berated other abusive misogynistic or general hate talk openly, and it makes me proud to know I have someone who will never stand idly by when someone is mistreated. But still.. I silently play games to avoid certain men ruining my experience. Women belong in the gaming world. The fact most of these comments mention how "We're people too".. blows my fucking mind we even have to say it.


What the heck. Anonymity brings the worst out of people. I'm glad I don't play any online games.


I’m in a fantastic clan on Destiny, me and another girl who I play frequently with. 90% of the other members are males in their 40s and 50s with families and they are *so* chill. We shit talk each other of course but I’ve never felt unsafe or abused by any of them. They’re a rare find. I have another couple of guys I play with from other games who are chill but mostly I avoid getting into chat with randoms cause... I just worry.


> Main douche spent the rest of the match explaining how big my vagina was after birthing kids. Yes, well to be fair, the tightest vaginas in the world would probably feel loose to him.


I’m a guy and I avoid my mic too... my wife says anything that can be heard and I get harassed about her


God thats crazy


The depravity of some people is absurd


I agree with you here. I simply have a comment from my gf on my Steam page and people in csgo that get pissed off after I kill them go to my steam profile, go to her steam profile (which has her first name on it) and say “I WILL FUCK ” “I WILL HAVE SEX WITH ”. It’s ridiculously annoying after a while but that’s why they do it.


I play games with a female friend and people will start going off in voice chat because they hear a female voice and she will say she's actually a young boy. She'd rather be known as a 13 year old boy than a 25 year old woman because of the way men and boys online behave. It's sad. People will say anything behind their online anonymity with zero regard for other's feelings.


This is exactly what I did too! Funny enough I didn't have many problems playing tf2 or l4d with voice chat but mmorpgs are definitely neckbeard breeding grounds.


I remember being 10-13 and my dad would let me play his CoD while he had to go do something real quick. When we were playing with his regular friends it was great, but if he was alone in a game with strangers, it was awful. I would always be made fun of, or told to leave. I vividly remember one time this guy asking for me to send him nudes, and I responded that I was 12, and he goes, "So you're old enough to have boobs, right?" It was awful and really ruined certain games for me. I stopped playing CoD (even though I really did enjoy it) and have avoided any games that use mics regularly, and tend to just play storyline instead of online.


Pretty sure attempting to convince minors to send you nudes is illegal no matter where you ask like even if its on cod


Oh, yeah, most likely. Looking back at it, I should have told my dad. But in the moment I just remember feeling shameful and like it was my fault for even trying to play the game, as if *I* had done something wrong.


Yea i dont blame you for feeling that way most children dont know what to do in that situation


Omg reminds me of when I was playing left 4 Dead 2 online when I was 15. Group of guys being generally cringy and sexist. One of them said something along the lines of "okay I'll be nice but only if you send nudes" and I said "I'm 15!" And he goes "even better". Gross. Stopped playing online for a very long time after that too.


The second my wife says something over Mic the entire attitude changes when we're playing games. If they hear her discord go off they are like "Oh let me get in your server so we can hang out" then they DM her and instantly start trying to get sexual with her. The fuck is with guys thinking this is a smooth way to "slide in her DM's" and yes they know she's married, none of them give a shit, I always want to say something but she's more than capable of handling herself and putting them in their place. Feels like your best bet online as a woman is use a non identifying name that doesn't hint to anything female whatsoever and using text chat to communicate. There's also voice changing software out there of you really want to remain anonymous and be treated like any other player in the game. I hope some day you all can be treated equally right off the bat and not be harassed by guys online, it would be alot more fun for everyone if that was the way things were already.


Why should we as girls have to do all of that just to play games and get respect? Or at least just treated like everyone else. I shouldnt have to pick a specific name, not play female characters and go so far as to change my voice. By hiding away and pretending like we aren't female we aren't helping the problem. Being more vocal, having posts like this, having better conversations and standing up for ourselves I think is the better way forward. Reporting all the sexual messages and the harrassment, blocking people, and other forms of locking it out I think is the way forward. Not changing my voice and having to pretend like I'm not a girl.


Big facts, it's bullshit that women are subjected to this bullshit and they shouldn't have to worry about protecting themselves from this kind of crap, when all people want to do usually when we play games online is make some friends and play something we enjoy. Why can't it just be that? Edit: what I was suggesting is only protection if you're worried about being harassed, being vocal about the issue and making people understand that it is NOT ok is the only way to make change happen.


I swear this has to be a thing with dudes in their late teens/early 20s. My buddy and me play valorant a lot and we are both almost 30, and we don't see this shit happening when girls are in the chat. It's night and day from the shit I know happens, and the shit I see happening.


I see it quite a bit in valorant in particular from people. Maybe it's something with ranking but i've seen quite a few women alt f4 because of the shit these guys would say to them and to be honest, I don't blame them for just taking the cooldown, that shits annoying for people to deal with.


It's dumb and shouldn't be. I know the report option isint really all great but ladies. Please please please report these fucks.


I would agree but I was playing duo queue with a guy for a while and felt comfy and safe around his friends too (no flirts, no one was treating me differently), until we game shared and I read messages of his friends and him talking a bunch of ‚I‘d so fuck her‘, ‚I‘d do this and that to her‘ shit. So it’s definitely not only randoms unfortunately...


Yeah, I was invited to a discord for Black Desert Online for a guild that I was being a mercenary for to do some PvP stuff and all these guys who always seemed really chill and respectful around all the women we games with were absolutely foul shits who posted exactly what you're mentioning here including tier lists rating girls by their discord pictures and "who they'd fuck" I just can't sit around with a bunch of guys like that slapping each other on the ass and bragging about "what I would do to her". Just be careful online and make sure you don't send nudes to any of these guys because believe me they share them with each other and even post them in these discords just to boast about how cool they think they are.


BDO is AWFUL for that sort of thing — i'm thankful classes are gendered because people don't generally clock that you're a girl if you don't mention it up front, and the female classes are popular anyways




Oh god, the music blasting idiots are the worst.


same here.. it’s honestly sad how a lot of them will suddenly act like total pigs once they find out that ur not a guy. so what, bc ima girl im expected to be ur lil plaything? like wtf dude.


Yeah exactly. Best bet if ur a girl is to keep everything anon. I tried LFGing for Destiny and when I made it obvious (not on purpose) that I was a girl I got no replies, but when I tried to sound neutral I got wayyy more replies.


I’m with you. As a guy, I learned immediately to keep my mic off and voice chat functions muted, basically immediately upon online gaming becoming big - playing in the halo 2-3 then CoD modern warfare eras. Surprisingly, Gears was the most chill in that era, I didn’t mind listening to people that. Maybe for some reason that game drew a more mature crowd. It’s exhausting as a decent human, to hear that shit, and the idea of participating in it was emotionally painful enough that I knew I never would. People would still send DMs to me throwing insults lol. For me, and probably the vast majority of gamers, voice chat functions are reserved for private chats with actual friends, not strangers on the internet. I wasn’t even part of a targeted democratic of hate, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to take it if I spoke online. Can’t imagine the emotional exhaustion of being a woman who tries to communicate with strangers on competitive games.


Same here. It sucks because I play games that are heavy on comms so when you type it can be slower, but at least I wont get harassed. One game I played I did a quick comms because it was a close game and time sensitivity. The remainder of the game this one player, who didn’t speak at all, just kept repeating “you’re a GIRL??!!!” in an obnoxious way and threw the game (followed me around / body blocked instead of actually playing)


Its getting worse as well.


I’m a 38 year old man and even I never participate in game chats because 99% of random gamers are people I’d rather not associate with. Even things like Discord are just cesspools of cringey, furry/futa neckbeards. So I just avoid it all.


I'm a dude. But I like to play female characters in games. One of them was a damage priest, and since a female priest = nun and nun = "sister", I named the toon "Sisterdeath", and dyed all my gear to look like a nun's uniform. Literally EVERY SINGLE DAY I would get people sending me whispers with **super** sexual content. Offering me ingame items or currency for nudes, all sorts of shit. One dude offered me $100 to come onto his vent server and have phone sex with him. I logged into the server and was like "sup bro?" in my deep, manly voice. I didn't get the $100 :(


😂 should've made him pay half upfront


If someone made a youtube series of men doing this as a way of calling out sexist toxic behavior I would watch that shit on repeat.


There's a girl on tiktok that's excellent at what she does, and she has compilations of men hurling verbal abuse and sexual harrassment at her, then subsequently destroying them. Both satisfying and incredibly sad.


There was another girl a few years back who would find out as much info as she could about these douchedudes, gather all the chat logs and audio recordings and send them to their mothers with a message letting them know that's how they've been treating women.


Vigilantism doxying


It was effective. She got written apologies from many of them after mommy dearest tore them a new one.😂


Wait, how is doxxing, assuming She sends information to a relevant party of the abuser instead of releasing information to the public?


https://youtube.com/c/SpawntaneousGaming She has a series about the horrible shit she gets. Honestly it's cringe af.


Jeez. I got like a minute into it and had to stop. I’m so sorry women and girls have to deal with this level of bullshit.


We talk about this and all we get is 'MEN GET HARASSED 2!!! PVP GAME TOUGHEN UP"


It’s always the “you wouldn’t last in a COD lobby” bs Why are you proud of your toxic community?


I grew up on DOTA and play LoL now. Toxicity is totally normal for me, but as soon as they hear my voice that shit gets dialed to 1000 with embedded sexual harassment. And /r/leagueoflegends wonders why I don't want in game voice chat to be ever added to the game


Honestly the most frustrating of this shit is that we talk about this all the damn time and most men still do not get how bad it is and not take us seriously. The same damn thing to us getting harassed in real life. "oh you're all just scared because of the news" No we fucking ain't it's because of the shit we go through EVERY SINGLE DAY


Now as a guy you get called out for "simping" if you stick up for any women. The toxicity isn't getting better.


Before that it was white knights guys would be called. You're agreeing with what this woman is saying? You're obviously just seeking to get laid. Pretty much other dudes thought process it seems.


[For example. ](https://people.com/human-interest/man-discovers-his-invisible-advantage-at-work-after-he-switches-email-signatures-with-a-female-colleague/)


And people wonder why women don’t want to include pronouns in their professional life correspondence. It’s not some anti-inclusion or political thing, it’s based on reality. First initial and last name for the win.


My. God. Toxic gaming culture sucks.


I dont know if he does things like that playing games but there’s a guy on youtube named Natt that throws on a wig and makeup and trolls people on omegle, does a scary good female voice


I think there is dude named AbsorberYT on youtube who trolls dudes with his female voice


God I want to see this happen so bad.


I had a friend that used to catfish dudes like this, would make hundreds a day posing a chick on tinder and just leaving cash app address as the bio. So many people would pay for absolutely nothing.


Thats... thats just... sad. dissapointing. I dont even know what to say. How and WHY would anyone fall for that? At this point I just feel sorry for them.


"why would anyone fall for that?" Hello, I am Microsoft calling about your computer. You have 100p virus. Please send $100.


I underestimate people and their abilities, I must admit.


Honestly, the weird efficacy of quantity blasting scams aside, there's definitely a sect of male culture that puts too much stock in sex and will do anything to feel like they're getting a special moment of sex. At first I thought "why don't they go on any free porn site", but I'm starting to think demanding and/or paying for nudes from a specific person gives them a power rush. And "gamers" specifically breed a culture of shit-talk with no consequence that makes them particularly petulant. I think most grow out if it, but I only ever play with friends and they're all good people. Edit: thought about it. Might replace "power rush" with "para-social joy". People being absolute dicks about it and bugging people not selling nudes, I'll say is a power thing. People buying from people selling nudes, probably more of a social connection thing. Also, thank you, but why award this random observation? I don't think I said anything revelatory.


This is de wai


Next time, money upfront THEN talk hahaha


This is sound financial advice!


OP worked on contingency smh


I get that all the time in GTA Online, which is always quite funny because I have a really deep base voice, so when I say "how's it going?" They run a mile.


I run from everyone in GTA because it's lawless in LS hahahaha


Lmao my GTA Online experience is similar but due to my nickname (in some languages it can be read as a girl's name) - I mostly get abuse tho, but sometimes I get shitheads who go straight up sexually harassing me. Sadly for them, I usually mop the floor with them thanks to my large arsenal xD


LMAO I used to play with a "sexykitty69". Dude with a deep voice. He'd stay silent until we got carried through the raid by simps, then say "thanks bros"


Just reminded me of this online game called The Realm (I think?) from something like 25 years ago. We were young teens, and my brother's friend told me he found a way to get good gear for free. He made himself a female character, and would just go to a town and say in the chat "hey, I'm new to this game. Can anybody help me out?" and people would just give him a bunch of gear that we had no chance of getting as new players. So these types have been around from the early days of online gaming.


Sad Oppressor noises


Holy shit... yeah I played a woman priest back in my WoW days as a healer and wow the shit people would whisper me and whatnot. The others were like "stupid bitch made me die" or can I get good heals baby?.


I played a female priest too! But uh...Forsaken. Nobody ever hit on me. Was it my unfeminine player name? My drab outfit? My missing lower jaw with my rotting tongue just flapping around? We'll never know.


I play a night elf female with a feminine name and people still refer to me as “he”. I don’t correct them. I also don’t use voice chat either so


it is funny, in games people always assume i am male, even if i am running aroud with a female name, a dress ect. I don't bother correcting them, since i know how shitty some people can be. I have to admit, it got better tho. Some Guilds are quite nice, moreso if they also have a female in a higher rank.


I play wow with my fiance. I am male, she is female. We often play together in the evenings. Her character in-game is female but any time I'm talking to guildies trying to get into a group, I refer to her as "my friend" because my fiance requests to not refer to her as a girl in game. "Can you invite my friend too? They are dps." We've been playing wow about 5 years together this way. She says that people would treat her differently once they found out she's a girl. So, online she is "my friend."


i can totaly see why she does that. You get coddled and everyone tires to get to your good side or - more likley since she is taken, a lot people would not play with her. even in guilds that where nice, i had to notice a lot of 'hey, you two get along well. Why don't you date?'


People are so dumb. And it's sad that you have to do that just so she doesn't get harrassed.. I'm a guy and personally when I come across a female playing a game I think it's cool and just glad that they're enjoying the game as much as me. But now that I'm reading through all these comments, it really makes me wonder how many females I've actually played with in game and had no idea because of them either not speaking or having a "male" sounding gamertag.


And this is why my first max-level WOW character was a female Tauren. I wanted to play a female since I am one, but super didn’t wanna get hit on by creeps. Incidentally, it did end up working out pretty well. I met my now-husband in Molten Core, and I’m PRETTY sure he wasn’t flirting with me because of my bipedal cow character...


But like, how sure are you tho? Have you gone through his web history? 😄


>I met my now-husband in Molten Core Grats on 15+ years together!


I played as a female blood elf Hunter for a short time and I got so much free gear lol. I would do instances and when gear dropped that had AGl "Let priss have it. Yeah everyone let priss have it, she needs it for the AGI". I'd be like "thanks guys" lol


gotta do "Thanks guys!! <3" to keep kayfabe


I started flipping the script after I saw this shit become a norm. Now I'll specifically use the phrase dumb bitch if you are: male orc, Tauren, troll, dwarf, panda, draenei, or worgen and only if you have acted like a total cockwomble to others in the dungeon. Ooh! And blowing kisses to other male characters, a surprising number of these guys are not only incredibly sexist but also highly homophobic


"Surprising number"? --I am not surprised. At all.


I suspect that the venn diagram between "incredibly sexist" and "highly homophobic" is basically a circle.


As like an irl 8 year old, I'd make female night elves, get thirsty dudes to give me a bunch of gold, mail it to my main and repeat. Wish it worked irl


I had a guildmate with a blood elf character who’d strip and dance in Bloodmoon to support their main toons’ raiding needs lol. The shit worked, for him.


I'm glad to know other guys like to play as girl characters. My old roommate would give me shit about it and how long I took to create a character. Like that's one of the best parts, idc if it takes me an hour. I'm going to be playing this character for hours on end, why not make the character feel special to me.


Plot twist: after hearing your voice he gets even harder


I play WoW and have for a very long time, not far off first release. I can't even begin to list the amount of obscene/offensive whispers I've had (I am a woman). It used to piss me off but I'm too old to care now :D . Sorry you didn't get you $100!


I played wow for a long time. When I was broke id go to stormwind on my banker character who wore the Santa get up with the thigh high recruit boots and dance on the fountain. Usually made a couple hundred gold from thirsty dudes. If they PMed me I'd tell them I was a guy, sorry! But actually I was a 15 year old girl. I'm 27 now and haven't played in a few years. Raiding in high school put me off of group content for the most part cause some how, as a DPS who knew the rules I was always blamed for wipes in voice chat.


Haha. I deliberately made my Reddit avatar look gender-ambiguous and it’s funny how differently I am treated. MUCH less name-calling.


I read that as gender-*ambitious* and thought huh, that’s a new one.


Hey, whatever floats! :)


Randomised mine and never looked back


I went and had a look and I love his pink dress




This is the experience I’ve had as well. Even with a very female avatar and a history on women oriented subs talking about your experiences as a woman most men on Reddit assume you’re male. It’s funniest when you’re like “I’m not a guy” and they accuse you of lying.




A thief believes that everyone steals, and a neck beard believes that anyone disagreeing with him must be one as well I guess.




The only times I was accused of lying about being a woman was by other women because I didn't agree with them


That’s so odd, what were you guys arguing about?


True, but ... Interestingly, I get called “bro” and “dude” much less too. So I think a lot of it is passive aggressive as well, bc people know a lot of women dislike gender assumption.


On reddit, nobody cares about gender! Everyone's a twat!


Equality in stupidity and ignorance. The thing which brought me here and now I am hooked


Reddit has avatars?


Which game?


Runes Of Magic. I played it **every day** for 4 years. It's a very bad game. Don't play it. If you play it, I'm not responsible for what happens to your life, I warned you.


I'm male and have Cortana as my gamerpic and somehow other guys think this means I'm a girl so I immediately mute everyone.... It's bad how guys act on these platforms


Bro you have nice tits.


Thanks bro 😎


if that game has voice chat wait for people to start hitting on you and unmute and say “bro u gay?” (nothing against gay people but these kinds of shitheads tend to be very homophobic so it hits harder for them lmao)


If you’re worried about that, there’s nothing wrong with saying “Sorry I’m not into guys”


This is definitely the better response


My fiancee and sister won't team up with anyone and voice chat with eachother on discord just so they can play games together online without being hassled it makes me sad specially because women are becoming a sizeable demographic for this medium and yet everytime people hear one playing they freak out it's actually quite pathetic


One of my closest friends is a girl who games and my girlfriend also games, and neither of them will use voice chat, it sucks :/


The trade off isn’t worth it tbh. I hate voice chat because I instantly get sexually harassed and verbally abused, and then I end up logging off because I’m anxious and depressed. Games are supposed to make me feel good, not suicidal. And I’ve played online games with a good raid group before, so I know how good online can be, but the reality is it’s almost impossible for a woman gamer with no irl gaming friends to locate a raid/online group without sexual harassment or great effort involved first. It sucks. It’s just way easier to either mute voice chat or play single player games.


>because women are becoming a sizeable demographic for this medium We always have been. More women in my family have played since SNES than men. There were more girls than boys in the gaming club at my highschool. We just didn't talk about it because it led to being harassed. We made women only guilds and women only comms. We blended in as a man if there wasn't the option or we didn't know it existed. We didn't read the same gamer magazines running demographic polls because they literally perpetuated this anti woman language.


45 percent of all gamers are women. Tired of people acting like it’s such a small portion of players are women.


I apologise for being unaware, this was coming from my own experience, my obliviousness too this goes to reinforce your point I hope at somepoint it gets better this space really should be more inclusive we're all just looking for escapism at the end of the day, I'm tired of tools ruining for everyone


Probably one of the most fun nights I had playing games in recently memory was with a squad of girls in fortnite, and I'm a married man. They sounded/acted late teens, early 20s. They were fucking good players, too! One of them could build better than I can and I practiced the hell out of doing it. Hilarious conversations for a few hours and had a few nice wins. They liked me because I just treated them like normal people. Hard concept for some people to grasp, I know. I think it's pretty fucked up that there are so many immature little shits out there that act like complete idjits just because some people have a pair of tits. I get that people act differently online, but it doesn't mean people should feel free to act like they weren't raised with any goddamn manners.


One of my most memorable times as a woman using voice chat was in Destiny pvp, I accidentally had my mic on and muttered something. An older man heard me and started talking to me, and at first I was very anxious because my experience in pvp online gaming is that being female means either sexual harassment, rape threats, make me a sandwich jokes, etc. But this guy sounded like an upper middle-aged southern dude with a strong drawl who was just chilling and enjoying life, and we just joked and chatted the entire game as we ran around killing the opposition. It was fun. Then the session was over and we never met again. It’s been years but I still remember it, and it’s sad because I remember it because it’s basically the only good memory I have of using voice chat online. Every other experience outside of a scheduled raid group was mildly traumatizing tbh.


I use a voice changing mic. I say the bare minimum and then I am done. First time I hear name calling like that I dump their worthless asses. They are trash and know it.


It’s so unbelievably awful that this is a reality, imagine having to go out of your way to change your voice online because neckbeards won’t stop being yell-y assholes.


Well I have been gaming online for over 20 years now. They never change. When they have privacy they hit on you like it is the world's worst bar and when they have other guys around they call you names. I used to be open about my gender when I was younger, the whole "screw them, I should be allowed to be me" but it just isn't worth it. Nothing changes. My daughter is now 20 and she does the same thing. She grew up listening/watching me manage this mess. Now she rarely wants to play.


Yikes, 20 years and guys still didn't at least got used to girls playing games? I mean, it's not even something uncommon anymore at this day and age, it's already ridiculous when teenagers harass, but it's pathetic if it comes from grown men. I suppose it must be even worse when it's a couple of gamers, but in that case, I guess they can play between them and save themselves the trouble.


obviously, it has nothing to do with video games, but a deeply misogynistic culture. Men talk toward women and about women the same way in all other contexts. And often women talk about other women similarly. Generally most people are too cowardly to do this openly in person, but anon online engagement breaks the inhibition.


Any chance you can share what program it is?


Clownfish is what I use.


Seems like an appropriate name for a program that helps you fend off these clowns.


catfishing clowns like a champ 😎


Sucks that you have to.


if you play Valorant, you can use this one:[https://www.voicemod.net/valorant-voice-changer/](https://www.voicemod.net/valorant-voice-changer/). If you scroll down, it says it can also be used fro CSGO, GTA5, and Fortnite(cringe) edit: However, valorant has a pretty good ping system, so you don't really need to talk.


Thank you!




Idek what’s worse; the guys who instantly get butthurt over female voices and insult or those freaks who completely change personalities once I start speaking and get all flirty. Oh and once I wanted to join a conversation in a competitive game because the guys talking all seemed pretty chill and fun and as soon as I said hi, they all immediately stopped talking apart from 1. Him and me were the only ones giving call outs and communicating with the team for the rest of the game. I felt like I’m the plague or something.


>the guys who instantly get butthurt over female voices and insult or those freaks who completely change personalities once I start speaking and get all flirty Girl, same


I notice a lot of them like to immediately call the girls fat when they insult them. I was playing overwatch (yikes ik) with my little sister after years of quitting, I used to be a top 500 dps player, but not so great anymore. I slipped up on something and didn't say anything, but someone called me out on it. I didn't really care, my fault. Little sister wanted to defend me so she just casually said "it's okay, not a big deal" the guy went crazy and started saying we're gonna lose because we have a girl on the team and after she stopped talking he just kept egging her on and saying stupid cringey shit like "You're probably fat, you sounded so fat and gross" and it was so dumb I genuinely cringed. This wasn't the first or last time it happened, that was just a time it did. My sister isn't fat, and luckily didn't take it to heart, I got her to leave the chat. Guys can be cringey to females - 90% of the time I just don't bother talking. I'd rather get flamed on rare occasions for not talking than be constantly annoyed at cringe lords


I wonder if there is something about Overwatch. The absolute worst harassment Ive had have been in OW, I was playing ranked and was on the voice chat but didnt talk, one of the teammates that got hardcountered started flaming, said "I bet Ikeaboo is a girl, thats why we she sucks" and then just snowballed into downright screaming down his mic and telling me he would find me irl and cut of my breast. Ive been gaming for many many years and Im used to people throwing slurs around, even a "kys" here and there, which also sucks, casually. But this was so deranged and personal I havent been on voice chat in that game since


I always keep thinking of going back to play Overwatch, but it has become so toxic that even playing in Total Mayhem has people taking it way to seriously and just get offended no matter what. I played it two years straight until I just got tired of dealing with people just ruining the fun of the game, which sucks since I there were some great people that I've played with and even made a friend off of it, which also sucked for her since guys would ask if she was a girl and she would respond that she was actually a 12 year old boy, just to get them off her back.


This happens to me everytime I think of it and want to play I just remember how toxic it is and how shitty the majority of players are. For awhile there I thought I was the only one getting all these shitty people on my team. I always felt bad when the girl we queued with would get flamed for no reason. There's a lot of immature players who think being toxic is taking things seriously and being competitive. It's easier for them to scream at someone else being the issue then actually addressing it whether it's their fault or not.


and this same guy will wonder why you won't share your contact details with him. Go figure


I bet the same kind of guy wonder why they still are single, when they are such a catch 😂


I can assure you many of these guys aren’t single, which makes it even worse. The misogyny shown by men who have girlfriends, wives, and daughters is some of the worst I’ve ever seen.


It's honestly wild that this happens. How could anyone be compelled to say something like that and not feel embarassed or ashamed about themselves? Would they act that way to someone irl??


On the internet everyone is a 6'4 body builder with 30 girlfriends. Since he's anonymous he's convinced himself it's somehow acceptable to behave this way, but in real life the closest he would get is talking behind someone's back because he knows saying it to her face would get his ass kicked by her.


And thats the sad part about the internet. Everyone is a badass, and its bleeding out into the real world with kids thinking they can act, say, and do whatever they want without repurcussion.... but that's a different topic.


It's literally any E-sports comp game dude. There's a lot of reasons I stopped playing anything to do with that community. Basically it draws in the crowd who want to take games "seriously" but are too young or have no class to know how to be serious and competitive at all. So they resort to toxic behavior. There's plenty of other competitive FPS games out there. And a lot of them aren't near as toxic.


Yeah overwatch had some... special.. people. I'm sorry that happened to you! That's exactly why I didn't talk, I enjoyed ranked a lot, and I'd listen to callouts, but that was it! Not worth the headache for some internet points.


It’s so sad how pathetic some people are




Your child’s school bus driver? That’s alarming. You could easily call the school. Try and have them change his route without mentioning you, don’t want to anger the menfolk! Since he knows where you live, and all... But yeah, VERY rarely women will cat call or act brazenly this way. It’s almost always men. I’ve been screamed at while walking down the street. Men don’t know what it’s like to be afraid to go outside...


I dont and never will understand the people who do this, and not just to girls, but to anyone. Its super cringe. Like, grow the fuck up.




i try and help where i can but 99% of the time its all just guys screaming at eachother so sometimes its a little hard


I’ve never experienced bullying in my **whole entire life** like the way I get bullied when I play online (competitive or not) games with guys. Even just breathing will get me bullied. Lol. I actually think it’s funny looking back on the insults I’d get hurled at me because I’m a girl. Not because I suck. But, *suuuuuper* fuck me if I do mess up in a game. The fact that I’m a girl will make me an automatic target. It does get irritating and I’ve spent a lot of time arguing with guys back and forth in chat just because I know it rattles them up more lol. Now I just mute mic and stay in discord with my peeps.


Yeah, I honestly don't even care anymore. I've been playing online since I was really young, and I've just developed a super thick skin because of it. Mostly I just laugh at the kind of stuff they come up with now. Honestly, a squeeky voiced 13 year old boy telling me he's going to rape me is honestly just kind of funny at this point. It's like, good luck little guy. I'm shaking in my boots over here. And that isn't to say it's all gloom and doom either, I've met a lot of great people who I have no problem calling friends now, and I have a lot really great experiences with strangers in competitive games too. You just gotta take the good with the bad.


On console not many people use mic's and I was completely ignorant of this until I found a series on YouTube called "OMG a Girl". A very skilled girl who plays Rainbow six siege makes these compilations that show some of the crazy things she experiences as a girl when playing video games. It was eye opening and kinda disgusting to see. I highly suggest any one of those videos to anyone who doesn't believe that girls are harrassed in video games for just being female.


R6 may be the most toxic game I have ever played in terms of community. Shame that you can't play with chat muted without putting yourself at a disadvantage.


Thankfully it's getting better with the new mechanics they've implemented. I havent been tked in over a month


I think part of the problem is that an unfortunately large proportion of guys who've never talked to a girl in their lives spend most of their time playing games, so even if it's a minority of guys doing it, they're absolutely gonna make themselves known. I don't play much online games myself, but in one of the few I did, one of my friends (who's a guy) played as a female character, and without fail at least one random in the lobby would start following him around, a few even asked him to be their girlfriend


I spent the majority of my life on games and still do. Thats not really an excuse for guys being shitheads, but yeah, the rest of what you said is pretty true. Moment a girl is realized in a game, all the guys flock, rile up, and try to impress or get their attention. Its cringe every single time.


I also think it's because he guys don't have to say these things face to face


Bruh, they do say this shit trust me, I've seen women streamers being followed by creepy ass dudes, they do this shit any chance they get. I honestly think this is a psychological default in certain men or some shit, cause I could never be able to do it, I'm just not wired that way.


I couldn't do that either. Plain embarrassing


Embarrassing and creepy, you have to be pretty messed up in the head to be capable of such crap.


I think these losers will literally target anything they can about you, it happened to me on R6 siege constantly, beat someone, get told to kms, they look at profile, see I'm Irish, all of a sudden anti Irish abuse begins, report the messages to microsoft get them chat and voice banned, message them smugly afterwards knowing they can't message back but are enraged 😂😂


Some have had girlfriends, there's just no way to explain why they do this, just shitty I guess. I haven't had that many girlfriends but that level of weirdness is just not me.


Some of my favorite moments ( Im a guy ) while gaming has been with women. Thing is I'm hopelessly gay and I trend away from 'competitive' FPS games. When you treat people like people you have a way better time. I don't understand the guys that go apeshit at everything.


>hopelessly gay I felt this 😂


One of my fav. responses to the homophobic shit stains (who will without a doubt also be anti women) is 'oh honey, I've had worse insults from better people, you're out of your league'


I completely understand this as a woman that also plays games and feel ya. It used to annoy me, and sometimes strike a nerve, but I just laugh it off now and tell myself that they are trash humans (sometimes I can also get toxic back and give em a tip or voice line shit at them when they fuck up later in the game). I play Dota 2 so player base is already kind of toxic, but adding the fact that you are a girl can either be good or bad. More often good these days as I know what I'm doing for the most part, so I don't generally receive backlash because of my gender. I do wish I could play with other females at times, but the female player base is a fair bit smaller than the male. I still get confused for a 12 year old boy, but I just tell em to fuck them selves and mute if they continue. Edit: Sorry if my sentences didn't make too much sence, wrote this yesterday while half asleep. I probably should have re-read properly before I posted. I hope one day that the gaming community can work past being toxic and that more people are willing to stand up for others in game. There's been plently of times I've defended someone I've never played with due to a toxic player on our team abusing others. I mention that I can also be toxic, but I try and work on myself in every match (try and cool off if things get heated) and tell myself that there is another human just like me on the other end, regardless of gender, and that should be treated with basic kindness. Sometimes I still lose my cool, but I try my best to keep it chill. One thing that really made me feel like there was a big issue in the gaming community, was that people had tracked me down from my gamer tag, found my social media and then proceeded to message me. Ive recieved messages with hate and also some of friendship, but I don't know what makes people think its okay to do that. I don't believe I've ever replied to any of those messages just due to not being comfortable. I changed my tag not long after that started happening.


I’m not sure if you already know about this, but there is a Discord channel called Desoladies that helps connect female Dota 2 players to one another!


this is why i have opted to never use mic and always mute everyone the chance i get. as i have mostly been insulted for just playing a game, and it is normally not even provoked, they go to my profile and figure out i am female. but why does my gender need to create such a harsh outcome of relentless abuse? people downplay this issue because they haven't experienced it most the time or they don't think it is that serious. but it is blatantly childish sexism. and there is no dispute about it. i tend to stay away especially from certain games that i am aware have really toxic communities, like Rainbow Six Siege. and just play on my own a lot because of this issue, which sometimes can feel very isolating.


play Golden Sun on GameBoy


Ditto this. I'm a woman and I used to play a lot of Overwatch, my voice can pass as a teenage boy, and at the time I had a girlfriend. So mentioning this + my voice caused a lot of people to think I was a man. I have however run into a lot of asshats in Overwatch and other games, some knowing I was a woman, others just idiots. That combined with my anxiety makes me unable to participate in some online activities. One single comment can ruin my day. Today, I mute the idiots + stay away from anything remotely competitive. I'm just here to chill and kick digital ass, not to be insulted because your fragile ego can't handle losing one match.


when I was younger i played overwatch daily and I kinda sounded like a girl, ppl would always make fun of me and once in awhile I’d get flirted on which was the most uncomfortable thing ever, I started putting on a fake deep voice in those games


In my experience, the “men” that treat women how you described never grew past the age of 16. It’s really sad hearing stories like yours and I’m really sorry on behalf of my gender. I really hope those types of terrible personalities don’t deter you from playing games in the future <3


16? You're giving them too much credit


You're right, 9


As a girl, I avoid chat too stressful but bad on all sides (look how newbies are treated).. Lot of false ego's in chat, nicest player don't talk which is sad


Come to FFXIV - we aren't perfect, but compared to other online communities I've been involved with (CoD, League, WoW) the levels of sexism/racism/stereotypical gamer toxicity are *markedly* lower.


It is rather comfy and imo that might be due to the fairly noticeable female population in that game. Any discord vc session I joined there were always women participating and it was usually cordial and normal. Give it a try if you can stomach mmos OP, there are plenty of women and even lgbt friendly guilds also.


Wow your rec does temp me actually. Guess I’ll take a look around 👀




"Yo, can we mute this ass-hat and get back to the game like fucking adults?"


i am actually currently writing my thesis on this topic. i’m researching the effects of gender-based discrimination on consumers attitudes, self-concept and purchase intention: a study on female consumers in the online gaming industry. i have carried about multiple interviews on female gamers and it was so upsetting to hear that pretty much every single one of them felt rejected from the community, and could not even enjoy a game properly without getting hate comments thrown their way, just for being a girl. so many of them have coping mechanisms when playing online, such as using a voice filter. some women told me that they avoid playing online games because they are scared to be harassed. like what?! how sad is that? hearing their experiences of men harassing them was so heart breaking and angering. as a woman who enjoys gaming and wants the best for the industry and for gamers, i hope that one day my work and i can help lessen this issue for female gamers.


I found competitive online gaming lobbies are usually cancer. I learnt a long time ago to turn off in game voice chat. Most games now have a ping system you can use to try and play as a team and works well enough for me.




>would have grown men saying shit like "I'm going to rape you" "I masturbate to you" What the absolute fuck There are so many grown dudes in positions of power that do rape people and behave in any variety of monstrous ways, that it makes complete sense that there would be just as many who say this awful abusive stuff


it was very fucked up, the fact they would happily say that shit to a minor also made me sick.


Yeah, it is actually very cringe, I have friends who act like they havent met a female in their life whenever we play games that needs voice chat, ie. CS:GO. I think it's the monke brains of "boys" that triggers this kind of behavior, I say "boys" because most of the time it's grown men that still act like kids.


How can you call them your friends when they do this..?