T O P
PersnicketyParsnips

This reminds me of when I was a kid, my siblings and I were discussing wiping our butts when my dad bursts in all angry and disgusted that we look at the toilet paper when we wipe calling us "sick". Confused, I asked him how does he know if his butt is clean if he doesn't look and he didn't have an answer. it was like it didn't even occur to him that it takes more than 1 wipe. My dad was notorious for having skid marks


TheClashSuck

You know you've fucked up when a *child* rationally points out your lack of hygiene. Like... kids are fucking gross. If they're the ones telling you you're gross, you should probably think about what they're saying lol


runthepoint1

At that point check yourself into rehab because you clearly have no self-awareness lol


tacocatacocattacocat

Nah, it's easier to just hit the kids /s (I hope)


FlamesofBritten

Hey man sometimes we need an outside of the box perspective.


fiercelittlebird

I mean yeah it's gross to look, but you kinda have to if you want to be clean!


spelunkersbutt

Also, you can tell if things have changed. Oh look, it's dark red. Maybe go see a doctor.


iforgotmymittens

Is it blood or did I eat beets? Science can’t answer and magic ain’t saying.


[deleted]

"It's beets. It's always beets."


Tnkgirl357

How do blind people know?


Bedda_R

Either using a bidet, so they are clean anyway or folding the toilet paper afterwards and check if it sticks together.


self_loathing_ham

>folding the toilet paper afterwards and check if it sticks together. Omfg this makes sense but fuck i hate it ugh


VelocityGrrl39

Also, will only work if there’s moisture. If you are constipated or have very hard stool, it may be dry and not stick.* *Sentences I never thought I’d say.


thatguyned

If it's too dry to stick, it's probably hard enough to feel in the paper when you press it together. I'll just let you sit with that image for a while.


spelunkersbutt

Taste test


FoulFell

![gif](giphy|Tf8rJkNxqZgr2BxlxN|downsized)


FireBendingNinja

![gif](giphy|AAsj7jdrHjtp6)


Deiselpowered26

you magnificent bastard


antliontame4

Is it gross? Shit literally just fell out of you, touching your butt hole in the process. Why would looking at it be gross?


FewerToysHigherWages

Could you imagine after every time you wipe..."Aww sick!" Wipes again..."Eww gross!" Wipes again..."Blagh! Nasty!" Man, people are dumb. Its like the men who saying touching your own dick makes you gay.


Informal-Busy-Bat

>Its like the men who saying touching your own dick makes you gay I..is that a thing?


m4gpi

My chore as a kid was to fold the laundry. I once very tentatively asked my mom if my dad had hemorrhoids, (because I noticed his underwear were always a bit stained around the backside). I only knew about hemorrhoids because of tv commercials, and they seemed so horrible and scary. My mom laughed and said yes he does, and asked me why I was asking. When I brought up the underwear she said “oh no, that’s from pimples on his butt.” BARF BARF BARF


Umm-yes-exactly

In my teens I didn’t get pimples on my face or back. I got them on my butt. The whole thing. For over 10 years. Nothing helped. Went away in my 20’s but man that sucked. Never got to streak or moon anybody in my young crazy days because of it.


m4gpi

There is still time. I believe in you!


Wishsprite

As a teenage girl I was the envy of my friends for my perfect skin (in stark comparison to my brother who was a walking acne factory). What they didn't know is I had all my teen spots on my butt lol Thank god it went away with age. Still probably preferable as a teen!


Facelessone001

90% sure your dad thought touching his own ass was gay


medstudenthowaway

Yep. Came here to say I had a patient who claimed he didn’t wipe because he thought it was gay. I was shook.


Val_Hallen

Touching your own ass for hygiene? *Gaaaaaaaaaaaay!* Literally stroking a cock until a man cums? Not gay, just masturbation... I mean, neither are gay. But in the grand scheme of things, one is ***FAR*** gayer than the other.


Arkanist

These are the same people who will call a man gay for being a cheerleader and then go to their sons wrestling competition.


Val_Hallen

Or spend their Sundays watching men in tight pants play with balls.


aniceasshooledick

if having a clean is ass gay, fuck me silly


simpsonsdude

This guy is ass gay confirmed


Mr_Svidrigailov

Nah, dad is a chad leaving marks on his teritory (clothes, bedshiets, sofas, carpets etc.)


[deleted]

My old roommate thought I was gay for wiping my ass atleast 3 times. I was like how tf you know how many times I wipe my ass and having a clean pooper is gay??


NW_Runner

He was getting a clue.


Trekbike32

A raging clue


[deleted]

I was astonished when I found out how many straight men dont wash their asses because they somehow can’t touch it because “they are not gay” lmao


sarahaflijk

Fellas, is it gay if I don't carry old poop around on my asshole all day?


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Th3CatOfDoom

Not if you keep saying "no homo"


Royal_Madnessty

Is this really a thing? Lord all mighty this shit is sad and pathetic if true.


KalphiteQueen

Only a very certain, insecure demographic lol. The ironic thing is that those types of men have always struggled with "gender identity issues" in the sense that they aren't secure in their masculinity, whatever that personally means for them (chances are they are not actually gay or trans, but that's instantly where their fear goes because this type of discussion is literally absent from their culture/upbringing), so other demographics openly talking about and questioning their own identities is incredibly triggering to them. They just want to deny any uncomfortable feelings and chalk it up to being a man thing, not even realizing that they are denying themselves their very manhood in the process. Homophobia is not a masculine trait lmao, it's a feeble one and probably the greatest unintended sign of weakness a man of this species can display.


WearADamnMask

I was going to say, any guy over 45-50 has a pretty high chance of *A) wearing tighty whities and *B) having skid marks in them. Also for the age group under that there seems to be a correlation between tighty whitie wearers and likelihood of having skid marks. YMMV But that was my experience from whoring around/house cleaning. E: y’all fucking gross. Having a shitty ass isn’t something an “adult” should be proud of or try to hide. I’m blocking people.


PropaneSalesTx

Seriously. My dad is 68. Every time I go to parents house there is for sure a shit stain on the toilet seat. Like I know my dad takes Dad sized shits, but I didnt know his asshole was in the small of his back.


mbittick

He's probably leaning forward to clean up, but inadvertently pressing the sloppy melted babyruth to the back.


Stoned_D0G

You are wearing all black because you are depressed. I am wearing all black to hide the shit marks We are not the same. (I actually never got them since childhood but am still anxious about getting them bc I really hate lack of hygiene and that makes me the sole cause of deforestation of Amazon.)


vikkivinegar

My husband will very soon fall into that age group. I’ve known him 24 years, and never once have seen a skid mark, or anything even slightly resembling one. After reading this post I feel lucky in a way I didn’t realize before. Dudes are gross.


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PhoneticRainbow

Same here, been married almost 20 years and have never once seen this and he has digestion problems as well. No tighty whities, boxers, but still I have never seen an issue with his underpants and I've been washing them a loooooooooong time. I also have a 15yr old and a 5 yr old and surprisingly enough, still no issues. Never once have I seen "skid marks" except for maybe when the children were potty trained. Maybe some of these guys need to speak to an adult about their wiping process.


The_Cutest_Kittykat

There was a similar question a few days ago asking about wearing underwear and I pointed out that it is necessary for not just men but women too; and the older you get, the more essential it becomes - various discharges, periods, the necessity of shaking it more than once, hemorrhoids and the resulting skin tags making wiping difficult, health conditions, weakened muscles, obesity, bowel conditions all make wiping squeaky clean less easy than it once was. So not sure about the correlation between tighty whities and skid marks but I'll definitely say that bodies get more difficult to maintain 100% as you get older. I mean, I used to go commando in my twenties but I wouldn't dare these days and I don't consider myself to have any issues.


Thirstin_Hurston

All my life, I've been blessed with a WAP and there is no way I could ever feel comfortable going commando


Heyhaveyougotaminute

Never had that conversation with my pops. Baby wipes are ducking amazing for the last wipe, then a dry up wipe with toilet paper. My ex was so fucking clean I’m sure she wiped he ass with one after farting. Never a foul scent, never an odour. Just green apple smelling goodness, every time.


FixedLoad

Baby wipes made my butthole itch. I thought I wasn't wiping good enough. So I used more baby wipes. You can see where this is going. Then I saw a picture of a note someone taped to the wipes in the grocery store , "these will make your butthole itch!!" And that's how browsing memes made my butthole stop itching!


Wonderful_Roof1739

Problem is baby wipes, even those so-called flushable ones, aren’t flushable. They clog up the sewer lines.


mtnbiker73

Bidet for the win. Why every house does not have one is beyond me. $50 on Amazon. I tout them as if I have stock in the damn things. People are weird.


_THERM0

Personally I wipe until the paper has nothing on it, and at the end of my shower I always thoroughly clean that area with soap and water. Like, I’ll literally put one foot up on the wall and scrub that motherfucker lmao. Honestly I’m so anal about cleaning my butt because the thought of walking around and going about my day with poop still on my asshole freaks me the fuck out. May you find yourself a nice guy who also has a clean ass. Edit: it’s nice knowing that my highest ever comment is about my asshole. Never change, Reddit, never change.


InanimateCarbonRodAu

Kudos for “I’m anal about cleaning my butt”


nobody2000

I'm anal about cleaning my butt because I don't want to clean my anus like butt.


SnugglyBabyElie

>Like, I’ll literally put one foot up on the wall and scrub that motherfucker lmao. I am crying at that visual. I do this when shaving my legs. I never considered it would be a helpful technique for other shower tasks.


OccAzzO

It's the best thing for getting your ass clean. Especially if your crack is hairier than average (like mine) you absolutely need that advantage to clean it.


Goosexi6566

Man here. Honestly I have a trimmer I use and I shave the area after. You would be surprised how little you need to do when there’s almost no hair. I don’t shave my entire butt just near the hole. No razer burn or anything. Also I use Nivea shave cream mixed with coochy cream. No ingrown hair or razor burn.


Marushka-0

Coochy cream 😭


East-sea-shellos

I’ll have to look into this, might be a game changer. I’m only 18 but I have more body hair than my 59 year old father, and by far. It’s always such a pain, and none of my friends relate. Smh I’ve always been scared of razor burn down there because I get it really easy on my face, but you’re giving me the confidence to try


griftylifts

Vividly remember Adam Corolla discussing this on LoveLine when I would listen at night as a teenager while I fell asleep. He complained to Dr. Drew that when he had to wipe after taking a shit, it was like "getting peanut butter out of shag carpeting". That's an exact quote, it has never left me.


lilu-achoo

Seriously shave your butthole! I’m a woman so I get the area waxed but ohhhh it makes such a difference in your clean and fresh feeling. You will love it.


Spooky_Reader

wait wait wait wait who the FUCK doesn't wipe until there's nothing on it? I've literally never heard anyone not doing this until reading some of these comments


ImRudeWhenImDrunk

Boogers


Arkanist

Face -> arms -> torso-> legs -> groin -> ass. Just like the towel the luffa forgets everything between showers.


1spicytunaroll

You using a butt luffa on your face bro?


TheSilverOne

Yeah this guy's model goes straight from ass to face after a nice incubation period lol


cecole1

Armpits, asshole, crotch, and teeth. To save time you can use the same brush on all four areas. -George Carlin


dered118

Man here. No, I don't have marks in my underwear


Sakura_Petals_GL

Wonderful 🤌🤌


actionbooth

Bidets are a wonderful thing. I don’t understand why they haven’t caught on. I buy bidets for friends as a housewarming gift so I can add their place to my “safe to poop” map.


siyahlater

Okay now I'm buying a bunch of bidets to keep on hand for house warming. This is a smart move.


quadmasta

My wife won't use ours. She thinks it's weird


flatwoundsounds

Is it heated? I bought a cheap one without considering how badly I *don't* want an ice cold spritz on my bits on a winter morning. So I have yet to use it.


Brilliant_Brain_5507

I definitely thought it through first. I was one of the people getting it in early 2020 so there wasn’t a lot of options but I made damn sure it had temp settings. I’m just sad I didn’t get a heated seat.


jc4200

Lol I do the exact same thing. Even offer to install it 😂


Kdiman

I'll tell you it's more from heavy drinkers I think I don't think the origin is a lack of whipping but more from sharts. A friend of mine who was a world class drunk got sober a few years ago and we were BS'ing around one day about old times and he said one of the things he didn't miss was the skid marks in his underwear. When I asked him to elaborate. He said that when he was drinking all the time he almost never had a solid stool and that almost every time he farted just a little bit of moisture would escape and it ended up giving him skid marks on all his underwears. I don't know from personal experience, but I believe that this is where the stereotype comes from. Is your man a drinker?


seraphsrage

Was a drunk for over a decade. The liquor store folks new me and roommate by sight, half gallon of vodka or more a day. No skid marks in my life. It's not drinking, it's a lack of proper wiping. Now maybe your bud was just too lush to do it properly when drinking, that I would totally buy.


nskaraga

$25 bidet from Amazon solves this problem. If you step on shit, you use water to clean it off. Same should go for your ass.


transtranselvania

It happened to me once and it was because I was out in the woods and came down with the shits from dodgy food. Ferns aren’t the greatest toilet paper.


JayOwenWest

Yeah, me neither. To repeatedly have them means they've noticed it happen and are happy to carry on having skidmarks. Fucking gross.


robdingo36

I hear plenty of jokes about guys' skidmarked shorts, and the fact that there's a term 'skidmark' indicates it's not an uncommon thing. That said, it's not an issue I've ever had as a guy, nor do I know any guy who's ever had the problem. But at the same time, I don't go around inspecting my friend's underwear. So, I wouldn't say it's most men, but it's also not uncommon among men.


Qetuowryipzcbmxvn

In boot camp a couple of recruits did the laundry and in my unit, along with others I've heard about, they would do the "Streak of the Week". That means they'd look through every guy's underwear and show off who had the biggest streak. Every week there was a different winner and that's when I realized I was living with savages. Only me and a couple other guys didn't have skid marks, and I've later come to find out that I have IBS, so I have no idea what the other guys' excuses were. We were a mixed division and it was actually the girls side that started it and convinced our laundry crew to do it too. After talking to a few girls, I learned that apparently it was pretty common on their side too. Now I can't eat ass unless I know my partner has showered beforehand.


Sakura_Petals_GL

It’s looking like it’s just about the flip of a coin at this point. I really don’t get how.


VandienLavellan

The things I’ve heard in public bathrooms. Guys blowing up the toilet, wiping once, and leaving without washing their hands happens far more often than it should


Robiee278

I SWEAR isn’t it supposed to itch if you don’t wipe properly. This is just WRONG…. I’m a guy and I wipe a lot coz if I don’t it itches.


rockhardgelatin

There’s a reason for the joke, *That’s going to itch when it dries*, after someone rips a nasty fart lol


Sakura_Petals_GL

Ewww


Desperate-Cucumber72

BAHAHA I AM DYING


fakename5

> ou wait too long to poop and keep holding it in? When I was like 10 that's how I used to get skidmarks. It wasn't because I was wiping improperly, it was because I always tried to hold it in, and that would cause a skidmark on my underwear. > > I dont know why, but as a kid I really tried to hold it in for as long as possible. I guess I didn't want to stop what I was doing to go poop or something. in high school, crusing with chicks in van. Girl driving sees dude she likes driving in car next to us on the square. Dude is talking to her and asks, hey how do you know when your butt is clean? everyone in van is like look at the tp. Dude driving other car oh, i always just went by feel and my butthole is itchy right now. Laughed to myself that he clearly wasn't interested in her with that type of question.


ScreamWhileIWatch

When I was a kid my doctor told me if I didn't start pooping normally I'd die throwing up my own feces. I'd hold it for weeks.


Agreeable-Catch-4384

noooooo oh my god I’ve never heard that phrase before and I’m gagging in my mouth lmaooo that’s disgusting


almisami

I have extremely sticky poops and I have to wipe with water to get the sandy stuff out of the cracks. How some people can get away with a single wipe is beyond me... I'd be itching like crazy all day.


ivanparas

Bro you need to eat more fiber.


almisami

I do. Apparently it's because of strenuous exercise followed by sedentatity at work. Apparently my body doesn't know if it should keep my stool hydrated or not and this drying/wetting cycle makes it sticky.


LumpyShitstring

Fascinating! Seriously. Not trying to be sarcastic, I just like learning about the human body. There are so many layers to our optimal health and function. Never considered/come across the whole, confusion about whether to keep a stool moist or not and why. Thanks for sharing!


almisami

I mean it makes sense. If you're doing physical work and your body makes you stool as liquid as it needs to be to keep it moving when you're being a couch potato you'll be pooping every 30 minutes on the clock. I'm just surprised the system doesn't have enough inertia or memory to keep an average.


LumpyShitstring

It definitely does! And you’re right. You would think the body would keep a memory of your habits. I’ve been getting really into Dr. Andrew Huberman’s podcast, The Huberman Lab lately. He has a few episodes about the timing of eating different types of foods and their effects on function and also how viewing bright light at specific times of day (ideally early morning) can help regulate cortisol levels. There might be some information that intrigues you in those episodes (or in others! It’s truly filled with fantastic information and protocols). Regardless, he will check for questions in the comments section of his YouTube channel for podcast ideas, maybe you can ask him more about it!


Aurakeks

I wipe way too hard and much because I feel itchy and unhygienic otherwise. To the point where my next number two causes bloody tears in my poor, sore butthole and I can't wipe as well anymore, which in turn leads to me actually getting skidmarks...


Carved_In_Chocolate

Best answer a bidet. Second best is wet wipes, or wet your toilet paper. Get water in on the job, somehow.


topbananaaward

Invest in a bidet my fried. I had a similar issue (lovely OCD cleanliness issues) and my mom got me a handheld bidet from Amazon. Now I clean with soap and water every time and I don’t have to worry about that (at least at home).


Something_Again

You have your Christmas shopping list sorted though. Bidets for everyone.


damegan

Well I can tell you that I wipe my ass quite well, because when I was around 13 I skidded every single one of my underwear... It improved when I litteraly short of scraped my butt crack from excesive wiping... I still had some skid marks every now and then, and no I wasn't slacking on the wiping department (I even started semi "fingering" my butt once the paper was clean so I knew that I had gotten even the shit that was on the near exit hole). So wiping alone doesn't seem to do the trick. Eventually I just opted to get dark colored underwear....


queentropical

Wash your butt hole. Invest in a bidet. It’s how much of the rest of the world does it.


Chmichmicha

Invest in a bidet ?? Just put a plastic bottle near the throne and wash it all while sitting there. Get it dry with the toilet paper. Anyone else doing this or just us Arabs ?? My mom would scream at me if I didnt wash my butthole with water after pooping


Magic2424

I’m someone who suffers from skid marks. Got so embarrassed I wiped until bloody cause I didn’t understand. Of course then I got blood skid marks. Got a bidet just cause of the sensitivity from my previous over wiping. Still get skid marks. I don’t have a fucking clue I’m over it I just get black underwear now.


IdiotTurkey

Are you sure it's not because you wait too long to poop and keep holding it in? When I was like 10 that's how I used to get skidmarks. It wasn't because I was wiping improperly, it was because I always tried to hold it in, and that would cause a skidmark on my underwear. I dont know why, but as a kid I really tried to hold it in for as long as possible. I guess I didn't want to stop what I was doing to go poop or something.


somewittyusername92

Mmmm like a mechanical pencil ever so slightly pushing out just to draw on your underwear


jibaro1953

Otherwise known as "prairiedogging"


ohhhshitwaitwhat

Kids are weird. My kid was fully potty trained and still, around 6 years old my kid would just pee their pants rather than taking a break from playing.


Alcohol_Intolerant

There was a post on reddit once about a guy trying to find a way to approach the "skid marks" on some of his girlfriend's underwear. He was to the point where he thought she had a fetish since only certain underwear had it, so he thought she was doing it on purpose. The nice women in the thread informed him that periods aren't predictable, nor are pads and tampons infallible, but having period-specific underwear is fairly normal. Bless him, he was very supportive.


SCP-3042-Euclid

I've always been very dutiful about wiping but would often get skid marks anyway. When you have a fuzzy bottom, there's only so much you can accomplish by rubbing your butt with wads of tissue. Since installing a bidet three years ago my skivvies always look pristine - and I actually feel fresh and clean after going. I'll never go back to TP.


calicocacti

So, I'm a woman with a hairy bottom, and I honestly don't stop wiping until the TP comes out as white as it was before wiping, and never had an issue. Now, since a few years ago I've had some digestive issues and have to be extremely careful with what I eat, and I had noticed that if I wiped my butt after just peeing there would be marks. So I started wiping every time I went to the bathroom, even if I was just peeing, because I knew that if I didn't, it would probably end in skidmarks, and that's something that had never happened and I wasn't going to allow it (also, female physiology makes it extremely easy to get both vaginal and urinary infections and those are horrible experiences). After going to a gastroenterologist and getting a better diet and exercise, my digestion is way better and that stopped happening, even with a hairy butt. It only happens when I get neglectful. So, maybe you should check out your diet? It's not just the hair, trust me, it's how "solid" poop is (due to the proportion of fiber you're eating), how bloated you are depending on the food you eat (if you fart a lot, some may get out), etc. Sorry for the explicitness, I just thought our experiences may overlap.


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thepieraker

Multiple things honestly: Frequency of wiping Hairiness Diet, effectively leaves to leaking, bit coming out when passing gas, and generally peanut butter poops that only a shower can fix, if your ass is hairy af then you're better off getting a pressure washer for peanut butter turds cuz a bidet is like going to war with a nerf


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ProfileHoliday3015

Finally someone with a real answer. Eating like shit with a hairy ass is a bad idea. Imagine your dog rolled around in peanut butter and you are going to try to clean him with just paper towel. Good luck!


KyeMatthew

M here, and I am with you, I do not understand skid marks. I’ve never ever had them.


Sakura_Petals_GL

I’m not sure I could make one if I tried.😂😅


ArchCatLinux

Hairy asses need water! Not all men have butloads (ha!) of hair but we who do can sometimes miss some of it because it in the hair a bit away from the exit. I use water on the paper so it is easy to see if there is any brown stuff left.


40ish_college_dude

As a fellow hairy man, I can attest to using baby wipes more than toilet paper. My wife used to make fun of me for using baby wipes until I told her, "You try to get peanut butter out of shag carpeting with just toilet paper!". 😂😂😂. She's never questioned me since!


NavyCMan

Please invest in a bidet. Got the same shag rug, used wipes that I had researched for hours to find ones that were truly flushable. Even went as far as only using two wipes at most and then swapping to tp. Still had a massive blockage in my sewer line. Cost way too much to fix.


CaptainObvious1906

no such thing as flushable wipes


WightKitt

I'm sure you've heard this before but TP actually breaks down on the trip to sewage; baby wipes do not. Unless you're throwing them away in a bin of some kind, you're damaging the environment and likely your pipes.


suicidal_bacon

Even flushable wipes aren't flushable. I found that out the hard way with a $800 plumbing bill.


Hotfoot896

Can’t have skid marks if you wear black underwear. Real talk though, I think that’s just them being nasty. I’ll wipe until my ass is clean. I don’t wanna be walking around with feces on my underwear, and rubbing on my ass and thighs. That’s just straight nasty. USA 26 m here Edit: thanks for the award! Much appreciated


Sakura_Petals_GL

I couldn’t stand it. Sometimes the paper is white, with a little bit of blood and I get up and go on and still feel paranoid I didn’t get it good enough 💀


hi_thoughts_1

Wet your toilet paper, it helps. I used to do this too, now I never bleed & the wiping process is so much quicker too Edit: (1) Baby wipes/wet wipes are not flushable. Taking a few seconds to wet toilet paper & being able to chuck it in the toilet is much better than having to throw shit filled wet wipes into a bin. (2) Yes, bidet = great option but I do not have one. I am satisfied with my current method. I do not plan on buying the toilet seat attachment. (3) 2 ply toilet paper with a small splash of water does not fall apart or leave pieces of toilet paper behind. You don't have to drench it in water. (4) I have been using this method for a long time. I have mastered the method. I do not need tips/advice/warnings about the method. (5) It's a bathroom, I use the tap right next to the toilet. If your basin is too far away then tough titties for you. You could keep a bottle of water next to your toilet - I've seen this in Muslim households that don't have a bidet (it's part of their religion to clean properly, not just dry toilet paper). (6) I don't use this method in public bathrooms unless I happen to have a bottle of water on me & am willing to waste my drinking water. Most of the time I just use dry paper, just like the bidet havers have to use plain old toilet paper. Some disabled toilets have a sink next to them but it's your choice if you want to be a dick & use the disabled toilet as an able person.


ukayukay69

Get a bum gun or a bidet. Wash your ass clean and save on toilet paper.


cannedwings

Americans love guns so much they have one for butts.


UCMeInvest

Agreed 100% - I wear black underwear but even wearing white, I have never had skid marks as I actually wipe until clear. And this is coming from a guy who had to have surgery due to Bowel issues 😂


Ascholay

I've seen skid marks on black underwear. Dude's going for gold in the anti-hygeine Olympics tho. He's got real talent for smelling like poop


-__Shrek__-

its your picker ... NOT normal some women like the cologne their dad wore... you on the other hand...


Sakura_Petals_GL

Dam if I woulda known before I fell in love with him 😂😂


queentropical

Some people were never taught basic hygiene such as how to clean their ass. I taught one ex how to use a bidet/wash his ass and to not rely on simply wiping. He thought it was a game changer. His now-wife owes me big time. lol


Agreeable-Catch-4384

I hate that u had to do this but on the other hand…. Doing gods work. How the fuck did u approach that topic lmfao was there a tutorial???


queentropical

I just said I am not going to be with anyone that has a dirty ass. Honesty and clear communication are key. lol Also, I don’t treat these things like a sensitive topic. It’s just facts. No need to be ashamed. We all poop. Some of us don’t know exactly how to maintain cleanliness. I basically taught him to jump into the shower to wash his lower half after every poop if he has to. He was amazed at how much better his quality of life was hahaha no more itchy ass ever. No more streaks. I also taught him how to keep his armpits clean and smelling good. Had to teach a friend that over the internet last year lmao so he could smell better for the ladies.


TorakMcLaren

...like the colon


Sakura_Petals_GL

Considering he’s literally the opposite of my dad because I honestly can’t stand the old man


Shmeckle_and_Hyde

Well, not literally the opposite… because if he was, he’d have a clean ass crack. I’d *delicately* bring it up to him… does his downstairs not STANK when you guys do sexy times? As a dude, that is always one of my biggest fears, and I don’t think I’ve ever had skid marks


cutanddried

Same here Does she think sticking dick is supposed to smell... Taste... Like ass. Seriously? Edit - I meant sucking dick. But I guess if the skid marks are that bad she could even smell it when sticking the dick too. But the real point is - if a romantic partner is that unhygienic OP should have figured that out before getting around to doing the laundry.


CompetitiveSoup8443

I don’t have an issue keeping my bum clean, but I’m also not letting anything white near it.


[deleted]

Seriously I do not want to own white underwear. Even if you don’t get skid marks, the sweat can stain easily… just seems like a bad idea


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PeeledPotatoChip

Username checks out


gpsrx

For what it’s worth, I can wipe myself totally clean and still get skid marks later. I have issues with incomplete evacuation and leakage, and unless I use a bidet (have one at home but not common elsewhere in my country), it’s hard to guarantee that this won’t happen. I have a good diet with lots of fiber and also am very hygienic. Just haven’t found a good way to avoid this.


MixedMartyr

same here, meds and a lifetime of hereditary bowel issues means i get skid marks when i’m active and focused on something, NOT on the toilet. it’s not a matter of wiping method and reading some of the comments here was not good for my self confidence


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Interesting-Pop3277

Wait…people stand up to wipe?


angry-software-dev

I was 40... FOURTY... before I realized you could wipe sitting down. It just never occurred to me that I could lean over on the seat to wipe, I always stood up and wiped, and yeah it was fuckin awkward to do in stalls where you have a big gap at the doors/walls that you can see through because I always felt pretty exposed standing there w/ pants down. Ironically it was my mother -- who probably taught me to stand to wipe -- who made me realize you could lean to wipe because she broke my toilet seat while leaning to wipe...


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angry-software-dev

FORTY-TWO. I was FORTY-TWO when I realized I was spelling that wrong :D


TheLucidCrow

Kids stand when wiping because their feet don't touch the ground sitting and it's hard to lean forward without falling off the toilet. A lot of adults just never transition from how they did it as a kid.


All_Work_All_Play

This thread is a gold mine. I'm surprised no one has addressed the other mechanism for this - /u/Sakura_Petals_GL, the human poop function is controlled by two sphincters, and inside one and an outside one. Hard (well defined) skid marks can be cause by not wiping, but, err, soft skid marks (less well defined) can be caused by a leaky sphincter that lets a small amount of poop juice through. As you might expect, leaky sphincters aren't something frequently talked about, and thus commonly under reported. Diet and exercise help, as does being aware of the condition and preparing for it appropriately. Mostly though, it's just bad hygiene.


lawrencelewillows

> leaky sphincter OK, that’s enough Internet for now.


Blitz_Kreegs

Going to tell my husband this. His underwear is nasty, I assumed it was because he farts all the time. I'm going to blame it on him standing to wipe.


Next-Lengthiness-534

It's not uncommon but a lot of the time it is down to a lack of hygiene


Sakura_Petals_GL

Quite apparently 🙃


sinnednogara

America needs bidets


transtranselvania

Here in Canada I have a younger friend who lives in a typical uni aged musician dive and one of his roommates is Turkish so they have a bidet. I came out of the bathroom and asked if it was a bidet and buddy finishes his bong rip and said “I moved here because this is supposedly a civilized country and I bought that because you’re all here shitting like animals.”


hapilly_unemployed

I would love to see this as a scene in a movie lol.


OverclockingUnicorn

It would make an amazing advert!


junkarty

Me & my friends are Turkish and once we went to Greece for a holiday trip- We all shared a hotel room and my friend went & took a fat dump. She promptly began screaming about how there was no bidet and how she refused to leave without washing her ass. She ended up hopping into the shower and muttering on about how europeans were the real uncivilized ones the whole time lol. Turks are passionate about washing their asses


3eb489

It’s not just Turks, it’s all Muslim countries. Muslims do ritual purification before their 5 daily prayers and urine and feces are considered un-pure. You mention bidets, but much more common than bidets in the Muslim world is having some sort of cup or water container in the bathroom that is filled with water from the sink after taking a shit and then wash their ass with their hand and the water from that cup.


ThePopeofHell

I don’t think this actually fixes the problem. Because the people who don’t want to be bothered wiping their ass all the way or are plagued by some kind of weird repression (see the top comment about looking at toilet paper) are not going to use a bidet. I’m convinced this is just like a far evolved mutation of the aggressive Puritanism that weaves itself through everything in America. I’m sure some will think it’s a stretch but there was a thread awhile ago where this girl outlined how her boyfriend thinks it’s gay to wash his asshole.


trey3rd

Probably has a terrible diet with barely any fiber.


Positive-Vase-Flower

This is way more likely than "he cant wipe his ass properly"


Gold-Record2646

Oh god this is probably from really shitty farts Oh god *oh god*


brainfreezinator

Can confirm... In my defense, as a baby, I had to have my colon surgically shortened, so even one particularly greasy meal can lead to deceptive farts.


BMWxxx6

They say it isn’t possible to blow out your underwear from farting but I swear to god, the back of my boxers have been blown atleast 6 times after ripping some seriously powerful farts.


-Warrior_Princess-

I was gonna say as a woman I'm pretty gassy and had some accidents from that. But you can also just clean em? It's got different names everywhere, but that powder you add in addition to the washing powder that gets stains out should do the trick.


BMWxxx6

I’m chuckling. Not that kind of blow out 😂 I didn’t think about how that sounded. I mean my farts have literally blown out the back of my boxers. Like giant holes lol you’re very kind tho lol


-Warrior_Princess-

Haha I've never farted that hard, but if you fart rather than go to the toilet like you should you can get a skidmark. Not full on shit yourself but yeah, be careful if you're too gassy. Sometimes safer to a sit in the toilet!


BMWxxx6

Ain’t that the truth!


nicholasruunu

That is not real lol


PumpleStump

I think they're dating now.


Plunder_Bunny_

Oxiclean, yes it really works!


Sakura_Petals_GL

My boy sure does love showing off his best rips 🤦‍♀️ right in front of my doorway too💀


BeautifulRelief

So my husband gets skid marks in the summer/hot months but not in the winter/cold months. He works outside so he sweat absolute buckets during warm months. I think sweat probably has a lot to do with it.


ultratunaman

Sweat, hairy butts, hemorrhoids, all turn into things that make it so wiping, even good wiping isn't enough. For the summer months I'd invest in a bidet. And tell him to not buy or wear white undies. Happens to me the odd time. Haven't worn white undies in about 20 years.


zeezuzu

I literally wash my ass with water after shitting and so does my whole family. Growing up we had a little shower head next to the toilet and a bidet too. Now I have a bucket that I fill with water next to the loo in my apartment. Ass hygiene among other things is paramount and I found it strange when I found out few others wash their asses after they “do” it. Must be stinking down there.


BarriBlue

Please explain how the butt bucket works. And what do you do if you’re out and about?


soumya_af

Let me explain, I'm from India and most of us use showerheads/bucket+mug combos. You just scoop water with a mug and ~~spray~~ "splash" it onto your ass while cleaning vigorously. Do it as many times as needed, until it's clean AF. Atleast in my part of the world, there are handshower heads close to most cans in every public toilet. Edit: Replaced spray with splash, there's a subtle difference causing confusion as per replies.


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nomadic_stone

What, you don't know about the three seashells? HEY GUYS!..They don't know about the three seashells!!


awmaleg

How do you dry off then? Or it’s just hot enough most of the time that it evaporates? Toilet paper on wet skin sticks to skin badly.


tron3747

>How do you dry off then? I've answered this question before, and I shall do so again; dry by clapping asscheeks But on a serious note, if you target the hose accurately, you wet very little skin, and it will easily evaporate


yabp

Clean butt can be dried with cloth.


soumya_af

In my case atleast I don't even need to dry. As long as you're not absolutely frolicking in water, the only wet part would be the hole region, which in itself holds too little water to be an issue. It would be like having some pee dribble in your underwear after peeing, except it is mostly clean water and not going to cause too much of an issue.


TheBoulevardShow

I'm confused by the bucket. Is that like some 3 sea shells action? How do you use the bucket to clean your ass?


ShredderMan4000

Similar case here. description of how to wash ur butt: >!Take a mug/small bucket and fill it with water. Bend forward a bit (on a toilet seat) Hold bucket with one hand, slowly pour water over butt, and wash butt with your other hand. It doesn't matter if your hand is touching your poop, as you're going to wash your hand.!< I've heard this is how it's done in many Asian countries, and what I do myself. I get that touching the poop is disgusting, but it's kinda the only way to make sure nothing is stuck up there (especially if you have lots of butt hair). Your hand shouldn't have any poop on it if you wash it with water properly. The water is there to wash the poop away, and your hand it just giving a helping hand lol. Wash your hands after with soap to ensure proper cleanliness though. (this is why in countries like India, it's considered bad to eat with your left hand. The left hand would be the hand used to wash your butt, and before soap and stuff was common, you'd just have to separate the uses of your hands for better hygiene) Paper can only push it away. A water hose/bidet can push it away with water, which is much better than paper, but there still needs to be some abrasive action imo to guarantee cleanliness. If I'm outside... I mostly just accept my fate with toilet paper or try and wet the toilet paper a bit with water so it's not a full dry wipe.


9percentmilk

Hey, OP, throw those away. How has no one said this already. *Throw them away.* Get rid of them. Today. Right now.


Sakura_Petals_GL

Oh no yeah. Ew


millerlitefan

people eat like crap which makes poops different men are hairy- requires a good deal more effort to clean especially if poops are sloppy as we get older, the butt caverns change....mine has like 37 pockets where poo fragments hide- hemorrhoids and other causes sweat and leakage keep things dirty even after a very thorough cleaning- worse if hemorrhoids I'm not sure how much of a role this plays, but it is difficult to access everything for cleaning if you're reaching around your own backside- especially if overweight


Rough_Autopsy

Surprised hemriods aren’t mentioned here more. I wipe until im clean or until I start bleeding, but I’m not gonna make the riods worse just to have a spotless asshole.


NaturalLog69

Yeah, I'm a woman but have had hemorrhoids before. It does create weird pockets! I wipe and wipe and wipe and sometimes I still will have skid marks :( i am so self conscious. I've found getting water on the tp helps.