Any other gays actually embarrassed and humiliated by pride month?
By - IcyHotRoad
My issue with pride month is how it's turned into a big show of people and especially companies going, "Look how woke we are! Look how much we love the gays!" I'm fed up with all of these companies changing their logos to rainbow and pretending they give two shits about LGBT rights when they're just doing it to seem trendy. I keep getting emails like "come celebrate pride month with us" and "book a hotel in these top pride month destinations" and it makes me feel used.
Its not even for the trend. The greedy assholes just found another way to pander for more money.
Pride month the concept = awesome. Its nice to know I can be out and not have to worry about being hunted in the streets like that scene from brokeback mountain (ymmv depending on how rural you wanna get lol)
Pride month the corporatized bastard child/ overtly sexual shit = a travesty that doesnt remotely represent the point of what Pride is.
That’s my issue with every single holiday.
It’s rampant everywhere. **Memorial Day 50%!!!!! SALES!!! SPEND MONEY HERE!!! Celebrate with your wallet!!!**
Pretty awful corporate callousness considering it’s a day to simply remember the dead who mostly died horrifically. If they actually cared, they’d be donating money to veteran cemeteries or surviving family members.
Anything to increase them profit margins. “Sorry PVT Timmy died in a friendly fire air strike. Here’s a discount on beer. “
If people had other means of making money most wouldnt even consider the military lol that's the most hilarious part. Most people are coerced into it for financial reasons.
That was me. My parents only had enough money to send 1 out of 5 kids to college. My choice was go work on a farm in podunk USA or join up.
I don’t resent the military for using “we pay for college and teach skills” recruitment model. As an IT I had it pretty good. The grunts have it much worse. When my bro got out of the marines he had some trouble finding work that paid well because “no company will pay me to drop mortars into a house at 400m.” My other younger brother is also struggling with post grunt life.
Support roles inevitably get better career options post-military. It’s the poor infantry that get the PTSD and no real hard skills other than guns, packs, security, and living in the shit.
I think the worst last of it all is that many don't seem to understand this. They view the corporate BS as an "ally" or support and eat this shit up.
Actual lgbt folks (at least the ones that I know, I'm openly bisexual myself) see it as shameful pandering. I think straight people like to feel like they're helping by touting how awesome and inclusive these companies are, but actual lgbt community members... def not
Probably doesn't mean much, but I'm a straight person myself. I think a lot of straight people are only looking at it on a surface level. Praising these companies for bare basics in attempts and ignore it otherwise. If someone wants to support it shouldn't happen only in 1 month. It should be continuous. The goal should be it being normal, not a 1 month cash grab for gullible people.
I know a mix bag of LGBT+, both those that embrace the 1 month changes and those that call it pandering.
It’s like you can’t win. I work for a company who has a focus on making employees feel included and we do things throughout the year for diversity but during June we also do things for pride. You simply can’t win because there will e employees like you thinking the company is using you snd trying to be woke while at the same time there are employees who feel that if the company doesn’t do anything for pride, then the company doesn’t care and isn’t using this time as a prime moment to show they’re inclusive.
Someone always has an issue on either side.
The difference is whether it is internal or external. A company that acknowledges queer employees and reflects on and assesses its own practices when it comes to inclusivity is a good, real, and meaningful action. A company that sends out a memo acknowledging that Pride month exists, or who offers sales in "celebration" of pride month or who changes their twitter bio picture is just keeping an eye on their bottom line bc being "iNcLusIve" is good for business.
I see. You are talking externally. That makes sense, particularly with the pride sales to make money. I will say the one thing I appreciate about companies changing their social pages to reflect pride is it does a few things: 1) it may show prospective employees that they support pride 2) it may signal to vendors and clients that the company supports lgbt+ and if they have an issue, they can end their partnership with the company 3) it shows the company is willing to step out from the masses to signal support for lgbt+ consumers, etc. I did some benchmarking a couple of years ago in my industry on how companies were externally showing support for pride and a minority of the companies had changed up their social media or did anything obvious to demonstrate support externally. Updating social media seemed like such a simple thing to show support that the companies that didn’t made me think either they don’t care at all, are out of the loop, or they do not have marketing people aware that it’s important to show support for the sake of customers, vendors, and prospective employees...especially when these same companies posted something externally celebrating another holiday or month just prior to June.
I think being able to be annoyed when people are showing support for your cause is a type of privilege that others can only dream of.
Idk about you but I'd rather be abit bothered by some virtue signaling that does/means nothing than be oppressed for things out of my control.
I agree for sure, but it's not like those are the only two options.
True but it comes to something or nothing, and I'd prefer a "positive" something over nothing
It's so amazing to me how in so short a time we've gone from getting our asses kicked to having our asses kissed.
People whining about corporations pandering to the LGBT community seems silly to me. That's what corporations do. Why does capitalism only become tacky when it diversifies?
Same, I really don't get why anyone lgbt would complain about it, like sure it *can* be annoying/tasteless but DID YOU SEE THE REST OF HISTORY???
Would it shock you to learn that none of the companies that changed their logo for the month did so in their media in Muslim majority countries? Its cringe level of pandering.
Oh yeah, I've seen people talking about that and it makes me furious. If companies truly cared about making LGBT people feel accepted, they would focus their efforts on places where LGBT people suffer the worst. Instead, they just want to be seen to be supporting the status quo in each country they market towards.
Whilst this is true it isn't like progressive countries are 100% pro gay, as pandering as it is representation is better than oppression.
I understand where you are coming from, but having them change their logos helps people who don't get see and experience it every day see that it's more common than they think. Even if the company doesn't do anything besides changing their logo, I think it helps bring subtle positive attention to pride. More people may be willing to look up what the pride flags mean and what they stand for if they see their favorite company "supports" pride. I feel like them changing their logo helps make pride like "a common household word" rather than something people think is "weird" or something they'll never interact with.
Now I do agree that many companies are probably just using pride to boost their image and don't really care about pride, but I do feel like even in those instances, there can be some positives like I mentioned above.
Just my two cents ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Thats exactly what they're doing. And when it becomes expedient to throw you away, they'll do just that.
> pretending they give two shits about LGBT rights when they're just doing it to seem trendy
What do you mean *pretending*? What else are they supposed to be doing to show they "actually" care?
This is so true. Companies are such bullshit. My company "celebrates" pride month but won't let employees wear the tiniest rainbow pride pin. I'm talking smaller than a nickel.
That says to me the national movement has been successful and can be disbanded. You can only do damage to your credibility going forward. If 95% of people claim to agree with you, you're not an oppressed minority.
Sounds to me like homophobes are butthurt they can't openly hate on us anymore, so they've switched to nitpicking everything we do. Yes, I'm talking about you.
this is the reason I stopped going to pride.
I'm not embarrassed or humiliated by it, I just don't personally care to participate. I went to a pride parade once and I just felt awkward and bored, not proud or accepted or celebrated.
I'm happy to let other people celebrate pride, as long as they accept that other LGBT people don't want to be a part of it
That’s probably part of the problem with pride is that it’s so sexualized it ends up isolating a lot of the lgbt community that don’t want to associate with it. Then it just reinforces the stereotype.
Your feelings are valid.
Pride parades are so over-the-top because it was originally a way to basically say, "We're not afraid of you. We're here. This is who we are. And we are not ashamed." Think of the original pride parades back in the 70s to be similar to marches for women to be allowed to vote. They were full of radical people who were putting their lives on the line in order to create social change. Gradually, because of those brave few who stood up for their rights, more and more people agreed with them over the years, and social change happened. When pride parades first happened, it was a community stepping up and demanding that society accepts them rather than demonizing them or even killing them.
I believe the first pride parade actually happened partially in reaction to the horrific events of Stonewall, so thinking about the attitudes society had toward the LGBTQ+ community at the time makes it even more impressive that anyone had the courage to be in a parade unabashedly flaunting their individuality.
Pride has definitely evolved a lot since then.
In 1969 it was illegal in New York City to serve a gay person in a bar, let alone have a gay bar operating. Most gay bars were influenced by the mob and operated with pay off, which involved police. Police would often go to gay bars to harass and arrest the patrons. In June of 1969 a few drag queens in the gay bar “Stonewall Inn decided to fight police. Started riots that lasted a few days. This is what started the gay pride protests.
Gay pride events are a great way for people to connect and enjoy people who are like them. In big cities, it’s relatively easy to meet other gay people. Not so in rural areas; for them its probably very significant. All in all, if you don’t like it, don’t attend. If you do, enjoy the parts of it that make you happy. It’s a time to celebrate each other anyway you care to.
I’m older. I’ve been to many pride events, actually all over the world. They’re culturally interesting to me. Still in the USA the equal rights laws for gay people have not been passed by Congress yet. Gay people are still NOT treated equally in the eyes of the law. Additionally, I live on Daytona Beach, Florida. I love to hike and swim there. Comparing the scantiness of clothing, the general public at the beach are far more scantily dressed, at the beach, then any pride parade I’ve been to recently. The naked bike rides in places like Burlington Vermont or Seattle Washington are of course have nude riders. No one mentions the two aforementioned situations. I guess picking on gay people is still a hobby for some people.
The explicit prides are not common at all, theyre just the ones with news coverage.
You cant get eyeballs to click your ads if you just have photos of happy rainbow people on a walk, but you do when you show the four people at an adult only event with a leather harness and big floppy dildos. So those four people become the face of a million.
Just a super cool and fun and not horrible example of how terrible media is all around.
They are less sexually explicit. It's been explained countless times in this thread why, so please read all the comments.
Pride exists because of sexual/sexual orientation discrimination, so you can't make it not about sex.
Agree, but it’s really on the sexhibitionists not to have actual set acts visible in the street, that affects everyone.
I've never been to a pride event with visible sex acts. While I don't doubt that they happen, those acts are not a mainstream part of any pride event. The only reason for their visibility is homophobes trying to paint an oppressed community as sexual deviants.
No, no it's not the only reason people talk about it. I've seen clips of parades where people are getting handjobs 10 feet away from children
Its fucking disgusting.
Or how that 13 year old kid was DANCING and people were THROWING dollar bills at him
I’ve been to many pride parades in both New York and Montreal. I’ve never seen any of this kind of behavior. Indeed, the most scantily dressed-down people in the parade are no-more dressed down then are people on a typical American beach swimming and sunbathing. If a 13 year old child is being sexualized in parade, the parents need to be held accountable. Personally, I’ve never seen this either
Agreed. I've seen more sexually explicit acts at carnivals, man on fire, concerts and sports events/celebrations than in pride parades, and most of those events are unrestricted to minors.
But straight kink and sexuality is not chastised, and it's already normalized enough
Don’t forget the nude bike rides. I know both Burlington Vermont and Seattle Washington have them. I know there are a bunch of others.
This is true and I agree but sometimes people have to be upset in order to acknowledge anything like cultural change. See the switch from dresses to trousers for women, rebellion against bras, all considered to be pretty obscene at the time
That’s a good point.
That makes it unsafe for me to take my underage son. I’ve said this a few times. If pride isn’t accessible to children… when are we going to make the changes we seek?
I’ve been to every Pride Parade in Denver for the past 5 years (excluding 2020) and I’ve never seen any of the sex acts that people talk about. I’m certain they happen somewhere but pride has always been a joyful, comfortable, and inclusive event for me. I wouldn’t fear taking your children.
Same. Never seen that in my life. And like you, I'm sure it happens. I'm just unsure if it happens so much that it hurts pride as a whole.
What I *have* seen are homophobes who say holding hands or kissing is an overt sexual act. It's like they know they can't bitch about romantic acts, so they reframe it as "sex acts in public" to turn other straight folks against queer folks. (NOT saying anything about OP!)
If someone is going “think of the children”, it’s possible the “sex acts” they’re objecting to could be as tame as kissing.
LGBTQ have been told repeatedly that they don't belong in families. It's still a struggle for many to adopt children and we are watching many red states do their damnedest to roll back any civil rights.
Families and familial rights have been very gay unfriendly. It's no wonder that sometimes gay pride can sometimes be very family unfriendly. We can always hope for change, but there are a million ways to be an ally to LGBTQ. Pride parades aren't even on the top of that list.
That is WONDERFUL!!! I’m not in my home state anymore (Colorado 🥺) and you’re proving why I miss it every day. I’ve lived in Cali for years.
I'm literally one of those people you're thinking of, who wears the pup hoods, leather, etc...you're absolutely misinformed, and have just bought into the "Not safe for children" rhetoric pushed by anti-LGBTQ+ news sources.
That shit doesn't happen in public. We keep that behind closed doors specifically so that it can be safe for everyone. These kink/fetish groups have large social aspects too, and not everyone in them does it for sex. We have asexual members. We have non-sex-participating members. We have some that just like the aesthetic.
The fact is that this happened to me. I am not being led astray by news sources.
You and the group you are a part of are being respectful. I appreciate that beyond anything. I am incredibly happy that you are a safe space and have membership in a wide range. You are not who I am against, love. Please enjoy your life and your kink shamelessly, and thank you SO MUCH for understanding self-pride versus closed door intimacy.
It is only inaccessible to children due to societal hang ups on nudity that are largely found in religious fundementalaism that bleeds into the rest of society. Not every pride celebration is the same, many don't allow nudity for people just like you. I live near one of the largest pride celebrations in the world, and the worst I ever saw, even growing up, was the nude cyclists, which arguably are not inherently sexual in nature. I guess I'm having a hard time understanding what needs to change when pride is usually a sexual thing. If you don't think children need to recieve sexual education, then that's your own choice. But pride should not change when there is nothing wrong with the message it spreads.
Nude cyclists are fine. Bare breasts and penises are fine. I’ll happily explain to my son that nudity is natural.
It’s trying to explain to my son why the guy in leather (who has his pet naked guy on a chain with a ball gag at his feet) spit at us and called me a breeder. That sticks for me. I’m down with you playing out any fetish you have, but when it comes to public exhibition, I won’t be bringing my kid. He can get kinky all on his own when he’s ready to understand that. That’s all.
Edit to add: EVERY kid deserves clear and scientifically backed sexual education as a normal part of parenting and school education from a young age.
This kind of reminds me of April 20th. When prohibition against weed was still happening in Canada, 4/20 was a way to "stick it to the man", while at the same time celebrating the use of Cannabis. Now that weed is legal, the whole 4/20 thing has kind of lost it's point. Is the evolution of Pride Parades similar?
Genuine question; at some point does it just become trying to rub it in people's faces?
Rub what in peoples face? The right to exist? In my opinion, Pride will always be a protest for human rights. Queer people are still beat, murdered, and discriminated against around the world and even in first-world countries just for being queer. So, no I don’t think Pride should be worrying about “rubbing it in”
I'm pretty sure they were talking about the leashes, pup masks, etc which usually have place at home or private clubs only
Pre-COVID I used to rave a lot, including at gay clubs since they had great venues, and I've always found fetish people to be super respectful and I have no issue with this practices. I've also done things at private clubs. But I really don't see why fetishes have to be included in the LBTQ+ parade, everyone has them, not just this community, and just... why
Rub what in people's faces? Pride? Sense of self? Lifestyles other than what was once considered "the norm"? If I choose to go to a "family day" somewhere, are those families being rubbed in my face? I'm so confused why someone on the outside looking in is offended or somehow hurt by others showing who they are, how they live, how they love because if it doesn't affect you, then wander off and get a non rainbow snowcone
Hey dude, you might not know this, but that argument is often used by haters to say queer folks need to stay in the closet. Like "Look at those two guys holding hands. They're rubbing it in our faces!" even though they're just saying the way straight people do.
Now, I'm not saying anything about you because I don't know you from Adam. But you should know your question is often a problem.
My reading of it is historically, it’s meant to provoke and declare that this is who we are and we don’t care if it makes you uncomfortable. This was a far more dangerous protest to make in the early days than you might appreciate. Maybe the world has moved on to a better place now that this context is lost
(Incidentally I’m not gay but I am old enough to remember for instance when gay sex was illegal in Ireland where I grew up)
> it’s meant to provoke and declare that this is who we are and we don’t care if it makes you uncomfortable
Amen. All the shy, quiet gays got bullied to death, so now there's just us angry cockroach motherfuckers left.
Pride is all about embracing your differences, and now people are trying to turn it into a straight-passing competition under the guise of respectability. Sickening.
I mean, some people do use it as a festival to be sexual deviants, including heterosexuals.
Kind of like how Rainbow Gatherings started as protests of permits to gather, but is now mostly kids trying to find acid and naked women.
A lot of people don't like the spotlight and feel that some people take advantage of it. You are not alone.
Not really, it doesn't represent me or gay people in general and people who think any few can represent such a broad group of people are a bit dim. Overall people in the community are great, there's some assholes but honestly that shows how being gay doesn't define you, there's assholes everywhere.
As a member of the lgbt community, I agree, but the issue is that if people don't know what gay people are like, their only impression is from these sorts of things. I didn't meet a black person until I was maybe 7 (not intentionally, my parents aren't racist, we just live in a white neighbourhood), and I remember being worried because I wasn't sure what to expect
My work changed their logo to be a rainbow logo for the month. To me, I don’t think it makes any difference for employees that identify in the LGBT+ category. It got me wondering: what DO LGBT+ employees want their employer to do in pride month? What would actually make a difference?
Maybe donate to some charities that help LGBTQ+ people around the world. That's also the main issue I have with companies who sell pride merch in pride month. Like, if you're not donating (a portion of) your profits from the items, then what's the point?
Thank you, in all honesty, that didn’t cross my mind, so thank you for that suggestion. Any charities that stand out?
As a lesbian / bisexual, I don't want anything special, I just want to be treated the same as others. I want my wife to be given the same time off when we need maternity / paternity leave as me (the bio mom), and I want to get promoted based on my skills and not because i fit a box. I want people to laugh with me and not worry about saying a word wrong when around me. I just want equality, in the same way I want it to be equal between women and men, and in the same way I think adoptive parents should have equal time off etc as maternity, in the same way I think all people of different races and religions should be equal. Not sure what a flag does lol
I wanna upvote you a million times. I’m a person. Treat me like a person. Laugh with me, work with me, let me live. That’s all the civil rights movements have been about, making the world safe and equal for everyone. It’s too bad it gets so stigmatized into “special treatment” when all you want is to be a person.
It seems to be going too far the other way now. I saw something advertising an lgbt cricket club. Imagine if there was a "straight people only" cricket club? Some places seem to be doing stuff to try and sound good but it just separates us all over again. My issue isn't being seen as "bad" for being gay, my issue is people seeing me in any different way because I am gay. Positive or negative, I don't want to be treated differently
My point exactly! I’m just a person, I just wanna be here and exist. lol Seriously, it seems like some places try so hard to “support” that they end up undercutting themselves and the moment.
I know what you mean. Being in the UK, we’re ever so lucky with how far the LGBT+ rights and attitudes have come. There’s still a long way to go though. I wish the other countries, that totally condemn LGBT+ communities (looking at you Middle East, Russia), progress and act like it’s the 21st century.
I’m a heterosexual woman and in total support of the LGBT+ group. I personally believe no one should ever, ever be treated/ made to feel different based on who they love and what they enjoy sexually, it should only be the individuals business.
We are in the UK and honestly, I've never felt discriminated against. We had to jump through more hoops to legally both be recognised as our daughters moms, but they weren't massive hoops (just a civil partnership)
Honestly but just not being homophobic (can be more of an ask than you'd except with actually employee behaviour not just "company policy") changing the logo to rainbow and not being bigoted is for me great, provide a space for me live like a fucking human being and recognise lbgt workforce without shame (making the logo rainbow)
Yeah just a little bit.
The fetishist should really keep that shit in the bedroom and out of the parades. Also parades are dumb.
I am embarrassed for yall man. A bunch of companies are doing good, like donating to causes, but for the most part it seems like companies are using gay wokeness to sell products, and it definitely seems like people are using yall like trophies, similar to people with black friends who are like "I'm WoKe BecAuSe I hAvE bLaCk FrIeNds"
I truly hope one day the world will leave yall the fuck alone and let yall live your lives. I could be totally wrong here, but I definitely feel like it would be hard to live a normal life when people are parading around crazy LGBTQ shit everywhere. Like, none of my gay friends have ever worn a rainbow speedo with rainbow suspenders and a unicorn croptop to walmart.... If they did, I guess I wouldn't really judge it, but for the most part my gay friends wear jeans, shorts, t-shirts, and occasionally cargo shorts - which I do get onto them about.
It's a teeny tiny part of pride month and often not part of any pride parades.
How is it the first idea your parents know about homosexuals.
Homosexuals are leaders, doctors, lawyer, actors, writers, and neighbors.
It seems the problem is those who are choosing to be sheltered and literally only choose to pay attention when some gay folks dress up in skimpy outfits.
This is the take I got from this. Your family is taking bits and pieces of some gay people to add to their stereotypes of it. It wouldn't matter what that is, they had their bias knowing not all gay people would even do that. That's a different problem that has nothing to do with pride month.
Yeah kinda just sounds like OP's family is biased against gay people.
Reminds me of that comment I saw once on reddit that was like "I took my homophobic dad to a pride parade and all he could say was omg I knew you gays were so sexualized it's gross" as if it was the pride parades fault his dad was homophobic or this was an appropriate place to take a homophobe
Agree, if that's all they associate with "the gays," they just want an excuse to discriminate and dehumanize, and would find something else if these pride parades weren't there. Don't let that make you feel ashamed, that's exactly what we want to fight against with pride.
I think you need to see pride in places like San Francisco. It’s become a giant party, with all the inherent problems that go with giant parties (violence, overdose, etc.).
Then the other part of pride is a lot of people use it to express their pride in their kink, so you see a lot of dildos, people in bondage gear, naked folk. It’s become as much about visual displays of sexual expression as it is about pride.
I’m not saying that stuff is bad, you just see a lot of older gay folks in SF being upset over people just trying to party and it not really being about pride anymore.
I have. I'm well aware. Older folks in San Fran are upset about that? That's the generation that started it. I don't get embarrassed about old straight people in Key west walking around with the tits out at Fantasy fest. All straight people don't represent me. I dont represent all straight people.
I grew up in the 70s when my uncle had to leave his family because he came out. He had to move away. Gay people weren't able to hold hands without the possibility of people pulling over and attacking them. They were arrested for wearing women clothes. They were jailed for living together. He moved to San Francisco were he could be in love, sow his wild oats, dress how he wanted with people who wouldn't judge him.
The first parades in the 1980s WERE giant parties. Dressing in drag and in leather and being as outrageous as they wanted to be. The parades of late are way more tame.
I have no idea why people would judge gay people because they are dressing and partying if they aren't upset about every spring break, swingers at RV parks, instagram images, toddlers in beauty pageants, and what happens on Texas and Florida beaches.
Feels like it's about being gay, not about outfits and partying.
> Homosexuals are leaders, doctors, lawyer, actors, writers, and neighbors.
I like how when anyone says of any group that they are (what is written above). Because that also means, by extension, that the are drug addicts, rapists, con artists and deadbeats, right?
Of course they are. They are human. But OP says his parents only exposure is gay folks dressed up in fetish wear. In my daily life I don't deal with people who are active drug addicts and rapists.
I do encounter doctors and actors and neighbors and I assume OPs parents do, too.
No, and I'll explain why.
Yeah, it sucks when someone's view on you is skewed toward either a caricature representation of the gay community or the more, eh, exhibitionist-types out there. But I think it actually helps me because the ones out there that are still a little bigotted will see me and realize I'm not one of the in your face, public jockstrap, bondage wearing type gays, but just a man who happens to be married to another man.
So those over-the-top gays are like the butt-plug for the more mellow gayness?
Nah, I'm pretty ambivalent. Takes more than some leather daddy with his buttcheeks hanging out for me to feel humiliated. If that's how you wanna go through life, have at it. If your family is gonna judge you based on some other rando they say on TV that's their problem. Do you think straight people get judged based on Girls Gone Wild videos?
Women do. I was in college during its hay day and at parties - basically every single big party without fail - drunk guys would end up yelling “take it off! Take it off!” at the girls. There was an expectation based on what they’d seen on tv.
Idk if that's the same thing really but sorry that happened
Tbh the only issue I have is that companies only say they support LGBTQIA+ people is because it's June. For example. Bethesda in America has a rainbow logo. But Bethesda Middle East doesn't. Companies only pretend they support LGBTQIA+. As soon as July hits, bam. No more mention of us until June next year.
Complete and utter bullshit.
> but rather the over the top pride marches and sexual exhibitionist acts actually deeply humiliate me because it's the first idea my family had for a long time about homosexuals
What makes you think things would be better if we didn't do that? The answer is it wouldn't be. For decades in the U.S., we kept that shit hidden and out of the spotlight, and tried to "pass" and we still got treated the same way. This is what many need to realize: It does not matter whether or not we express our sexuality, or even our kinks. Bigots and homophobes are going to consider us as deviant and gross regardless. Fuck them since they're gonna treat us like shit either way. We're gonna be ourselves. Pride is about sexuality and it is about expression, because that is what we were persecuted for. Even when we didn't express either and kept it in private, we were still persecuted for it.
Take it from me as one of those "sexual" people who likes leather and kink. I came from a conservative/bigoted background too...it doesn't matter how we express ourselves. We're hated and shit on for being sexually deviant either way. I'm not about to appease bigots and those who are ashamed of us for being "sexually deviant," when we get called that regardless. I'm gonna be who I am.
We don't owe anybody anything, and we don't owe bigots, or even the "ashamed" queer people a space of comfort, because our spaces of comfort that we kept hidden for decades were still violated by police, the law, and bigots.
You're also blowing it out of proportion anyways. I marched in the Chicago Pride Parade in 2019, which is a fucking huge parade. I was with the kinksters; the pups, leather wearers, etc...the "overly naked and sexual people," where no one was naked or doing sexual acts. We were just ONE ENTRY of the entire 100/200+ entry parade...we didn't even make up 1% of it. Wearing a harness, or a pup hood, or even a diaper doesn't mean a person is getting off sexually on it. Many asexual people participate in those communities too, and only do it for the social or comfort aspect.
The "sexual/kink" part of Pride is still extremely small. Media and bigots just love to fixate on it so they can "REEE" about it.
Straight white guy here. I personally love the parades, it's just a damn good time all around and loads of fun regardless of sexuality. Judging the whole community based on those parades is like saying all straight men are frat boys and douche bags. Personality is a spectrum the same as sexuality. The corporate side is a bit annoying though when it's so clear to see that most of them are only advocating for pride month as a PR move. Actions speak loader than words and many of these businesses just talk the talk.
Nope, not a bit.
If that's the way they want to see us, it's on them. The same way I see The Straights™ as a blobbering mass of drunken soccer fans wrecking havoc and sexually attacking unsuspecting women on the street, meaning, that's my opinion and if they insist on having a prejudice against a very large and diverse group of people because of the actions of a few, then so do I
I mean you're welcome to feel however you want, but if your family doesn't like it, that's their problem.
If you're getting associated with people you don't want to be associated with, the problem isn't with you, or with the other people. Its with those making the association in the first place.
First, they shouldn't care. Second, they shouldn't associate you with completely different people.
The problem is not with pride month. Its with the people in your life.
Your family didn't get those impressions from Pride parades. They were just hyperfocused on any little thing in the parade that could confirm their prejudices.
It sounds like you might still be struggling with acceptance yourself. There's nothing embarrassing about your sexuality. Loud and Proud got us out of the closet and gave us our rights. You don't need to restrict yourself to what makes straight people comfortable. It's ok if something's not your cup of tea (I'm an introvert so I'm quiet and proud at best), but don't expect the rest of the LGBT crowd to gaf about mainstream judgment. That's what Pride is.
More annoyed at the exploitive actions of giant corporations milking the gays for money because they lazily slapped a rainbow on some shitty tee shirt.
You have to have the major outliers to make space for the more average types. Also the drag and leather communites were integral to the fight against hiv/aids in the big cities. Theres an undeniable link and to ignore or call it wrong is to deny and shit on the progress that they made on all of our behalf. You don't have to be leather clad yourself, all you gotta do is make an effort to understand. You're almost there!
Yea.. we’ve become a showcase.. merchandise.
Before we were stating we’re not a designer purse! We’re nobody’s GBF, we’re not a trend! But now during pride month every place is selling rainbow this, rainbow that, and during pride parades (where kids could be present because.. kids are lgbt too except they’re forced to live with their homophobic and transphobic family members..) there’s just so much sexual content.
I don’t wanna kink shame, to each their own, but there’s also a time and a place. Can’t there be 21+ lgbt pride parties in buildings and then kid friendly lgbt pride parties in the streets?
Instead of preaching sex, kinks, and rainbows.. can’t we preach Mathew Sheppard, the aids epidemic, the stonewall in riot, the first pride parade, the dates we gained certain rights, and more? Yknow.. be more like black history month? That’s what I thought it was originally going to be like, but.. it’s mostly just about sex and rainbows.
It’s bs. Pride month should be awareness of our struggles, where we started, where we are now, and how far we still have to go.
Again, we shouldn’t be shamed of our sexuality and kinks and stuff, but there’s also so much more to being lgbt than that. It’s ok to feel lust and love, but that’s not all we feel.
Not LGBT, but I follow some discourse... Isn't Pride Month also a celebration of being LGBT, though? And that part of it is celebrating the inclusionary nature of Pride?
People who are claiming that pride is full of fetishes in public have never been to pride, unless we are considering men in short shorts a kink in public lol.
Kink, and other unconventional sexual activities do belong in pride, but if you go in public, keep it sfw.
(Obviously pedos and bestiality don't belong)
exactly, people are acting like seeing a man in short shorts and a leather tank top is seeing a heinous act.
"I'm not gay but here's my opinion on pride month"
Nobody asked or cares lol
Yeah, especially the subreddits where you have to put a pride flag at the end of your comment or else it gets deleted 🏳️🌈
Yeah, if we just act more like straight people I'm sure they will accept us. Any day now.
You should educate your family, and yourself, by spending some time exploring the delightful rainbow of heterosexual normative displays, from 16-year-olds in tiny bikinis on Tik Tok, to showing boobs for beads at mardi gras, to doggers sucking each other off in public parks.
The problem isn't that all gay people are different, the problem is that you are ashamed of the range of people we are.
Pride month for me is literally just having to see people complaining about pride month for a month.
Not gay, but I did know a gay guy once who seriously contemplated starting an organization called "Homosexuals against gays."
He liked men sexually. He just hated the culture around it at the time (mid 80s - San Francisco). Aside from his sexual preferences, he was completely ordinary, dressed normally, spoke normally, was in no way effeminate. He wasn't closeted. He just wasn't interested. He would happily go to a baseball game and eat a hot dog, but would never have gone to a pride parade. He thought they were ridiculous.
Im a gay. I've yet to get the chance to go to a pride parade, but they're more for sending a message, especially back when it was way riskier to do those kinds of things. I'm not embarrassed nor do I feel any shame when I see gays in kink/revealing outfits. If anything, it makes me happy how much times have changed. Yeah, I'm not gonna be the one dressed up like it because it's not my personal style. In the end I know if someone is homophobic, it doesn't matter how conservative we act in the parade, they will still find a reason to ridicule us.
I think it’s worth exploring where that shame is coming from. Shame because there are people at pride acting/looking in a way your family (and you) view as wrong or bad? It seems like you’ve internalized negative feelings about the community, or about sex, from others. Sex and flamboyancy aren’t bad. To me, pride is about directly confronting those judgements and, even if it’s not your thing, celebrate the people who find what they need there. It’s about visibility, not acceptance— here we are, this is us in our entirety, not just the clean-cut white gays. Attempts to shame and discourage and cover up are exactly what Pride has always been fighting against. Pride is not a family-friendly event in my opinion. It’s about sex. It’s about WHO you have sex with and HOW you have sex. Pride has been about showing how large and diverse the community actually is in that respect. Any attempts to corporatize it or neutralize it are efforts to take the tooth out of it and I personally think it should always be as wild and shocking as possible. I feel like people opposed to it are repressed and can’t stand to see people living more happily and freer than they are.
It is in fact normal to feel embarrassed and humiliated by Pride. I have also had that experience. I've also experienced feelings of shame, humiliation and fear seeing gays engage in public displays of affection outside of pride, seeing people who are visibly gay out in the world and most of all when I have looked in the mirror and seen that strangers could feel the same way about me.
Most of us have felt that way to some extent, and most of us have those feelings come back if we are surrounded by straight people who can barely conceal their disgust for us (especially if they also love other parts of us.) One does not need to develop a sense of pride about things of which they have never felt ashamed. That is why we have Pride.
If it is reasonably safe for you to do so where you are, I would strongly recommend going to a Pride event (maybe disguised as a straight ally if necessary.) There will almost certainly be some older queers there who want to help. They will almost certainly be thrilled to give you an oral history of queerness in your area and how Pride came to be the way that it is.
If you can build a sense of comfort with the elders, it is okay to ask them this question even though it feels scary. I promise you they know the feeling deeply and intimately.
p.s. I think that actively looking for over the top displaying of heterosexuality, and sexually explicit displays of heterosexual sexual imagery is also a really helpful practice, because once you start seeing it, it is absolutely fucking everywhere (in my country at least.)
It’s embarrassing to me that Pride has become about corporations instead about people. You’re more apt to see a straight person walking for Zillow in a parade then you are to actually see a gay person walking in a parade these days. And then on top of it we know straight people commenting on whether gay people should be allowed to show kink and what nott during pride. Last I checked pride was not made for straight people.
Nope! Parades are meant to be flashy and fun and out there. Anyone who thinks they accurately represent gay life is just a moron.
For people with young children - the BDSM and fetish wear is a bit of turn off and opens many coversations that parents aren't ready to have about sex and nudity. It is not just the costumes, but some people get down right exhibitionist - where you find drag queens more dressed and modest than anyone there.
So many parents opt out of pride parades because of this. There are a few BDSM exhibitionist events on the coast - like the Folsom Faire, but that is EXPECTED. And some folks wish they could have a "family friendly" pride for families and kids with no BDSM wear.
BDSM and Sm - the "lifestyle" is not expressly gay and (sadly) not always gay friendly or inclusive in some places. So it is important (or is it?) to draw lines between "BDMS and Fetish Sex is fun" and "LGTBQIA+ is ok to be"
The way I've heard it, the BDSM community was the first to be on the side of gay people, when pretty much nobody else was. That and pride is a celebration of sexuality so sexuality is gonna feature pretty heavily.
But it's important to realize who actually has your back and who just shows up when it's a giant party and there's some money to be made selling rainbow garbage
I’m not part of the community but my handful of friends that are think that the BDSM stuff does a huge disservice to their community and I agree. I can’t take my 2 young daughters to the parades because I refuse to try and explain to them why grown ups are wearing all the leather and chains,gags, dildos etc. It should be toned down to show the majority of the people in the community are exactly like everyone else.
I just don’t like when we make it over the top sexual. It’s about choices. I have never seen it as a Mardi Gras, which I think can distract from the importance of the message.
How is it over the top? The kink contingents make up and extremely small minority, and no, no one is naked or having sex in the middle of parades. I marched in Chicago's parade two years ago with the kink group, in my harness and all that...we were one entry out of over 100...not even 1%. People just love to hyper-fixate on the kink contingent so they can "Reee" that it's not safe for anyone.
Plus, even when we mind our own business and keep that shit to ourselves, we're still persecuted for it. Fuck those trying to police us, and fuck those who are ashamed of us expressing ourselves. We were ridiculed the same way even when we didn't, so fuck what people want us to do. So really no, it's not about choice. It's about perseverance and resistance. It's about us still being here, and the world having to deal with it, despite all their legal and illegal efforts to keep us from existing or finding happiness.
> and no, no one is naked or having sex in the middle of parades.
but but but but but what about that one photo from 20 years ago that i saw on /r/conservative???,??,,,,??,,,?
What's sad is people are going to say "I saw one time" or "My friend said this one time," in this thread, and that's going to be enough to validate their ignorance.
Look at this thread alone. No one is reading the comments, and are just coming in with the passive "too much sex/not safe for children," bullshit, when most of these people have no grasp or understanding of the historical influence of the kink/leather community on our rights, or what the specific kinks indicate.
A pup hood is just a fucking pup hood. It doesn't mean I must take it in the butt, and have sex with dogs. A harness is just a harness. I wear it, because I like how I look in it. I don't wear it to tell your children it's fun to whip your genitals out in public. A person with tits with their nipples covered...how exactly are they pushing having sex onto you? I'm so tired of explaining this shit.
Not gay, but I don't get the flamboyant over-the-top celebration of anything especially when it comes to pride. Celebrating your culture and embracing your sexuality, awesome. It's almost a novelty now that heterosexuals get into also to make a quick buck.
To be fair, I missed my high school graduation and didn't bother to pick up my diploma (1 hr each way) so I'm not huge on celebration int he first place.
I don't have a problem with pride month
I do have problem tho with people that have the urge to push their sexual preferences/fetishes onto others (like walking around in public in bdsm suits while eating a dick shaped lollipop and waving a pride flag around)
being gay is okay
being bi is okay
being straight is okay
but pls just shut up, you're not special just because you're gay/bi/straight
How is wearing a BDSM suit and eating a dick shaped lollipop pushing a sexual preference onto someone?
It isn't. It is honestly kind of crazy what people are considering "kink at pride". People are allowed to wear leather body suits in public as long as their genitals are covered, even not during pride month. People are allowed to eat dick shaped lollipops. If i am correct, so many women have dick shaped lollipops and cakes etc for their bachelorette parties. Why dont people call them out for having "kinks in public"?
just playing devil's advocate, but bachelorette parties aren't public events.
A lot of the time they happen in bars and in public though. I have seen them while at bars.
> so many women have dick shaped lollipops and cakes etc for their bachelorette parties. Why dont people call them out for having "kinks in public"?
It's because it doesn't pose a threat to masculinity and heteronormativity.
Not embarrassed, but is not my kind of thing, I'm not into that crazy party and half naked wearing dog masks in the street. So I don't go, but I don't think is any different than any other parade or carnival in the world.
I agree that is creates an image or sterotype, but don't worry eventually it will fade, in a good way, pride I see it as an "in your face" carnival to try to create normalcy, so people don't freak for seen two LGBTQ holding hands, after seeing pride, holding hands is not seen as bad.
As LGBTQ you are not forced into the stereotype nor into liking everything. I don't like excessive PDA and the crazy half naked stuff, but as long as nobody is truly affected, I see no harm.
the word at the core of Pride is... welll....... i would encourage you to get active in learning the history and the "Why's" behind Pride. a lot of gay men and women were raised with intense, inward-facing shame, but turning that shame outward to the community at large isn't beneficial for yourself or the community at large.
a large chunk of the world is going to consider the LGBTQ community to be vile, sinful, and 'wrong' regardless of how we police other queers' behavior. the shame and humiliation are personal issues and are very solvable with some introspection. look inward and learn don't turn it outward
Said better than I ever could.
I have no pride in myself this month and probably no future months either. I do not see what the big deal is. Unless there are a bunch of sheeple running around, trying to feel important
Straight guy here, I understand what you mean. These events are okay, but the common manner in which they are done can encourage stereotypes of gays, not remove. And everyone shouldn't see a gay person as just *a gay person*, a person is much more than their sexual orientation.
In fact, all such "months" (be it African-American month, Pride month, Asian-Pacific Islander month), allow real events or history, contributions to be sidelined and only recognized on their month - that gives people the convenience of ignoring it from being mentioned in mainstream.
> And everyone shouldn't see a gay person as just a gay person, a person is much more than their sexual orientation.
That's why pride exists though...because we exist as people, yet our identities have always been reduced to our sexuality. Pride is about taking that part of society that hated us, and showing that despite that aspect, we are still here. If y'all don't want people expressing or over-emphasizing certain identities of themselves, you need to stop the social injustice that targets people for those identities.
Nope. I love it. Don't participate if you don't like it.
Why is there like 4 more letters added to the lgbtq term?
Inclusivity. The problem is the term queer is right there and it's all inclusive but some people don't like to use the term they would rather have a 57 letter acronym which is dumb.
That's why I like the grsm abbreviation
It's okay. I prefer queer because it has more history. Each are valid though.
The problem with radical inclusivity from an acronym is that you either end up with a letter representing every single tiny aspect of the greater queer community, or you end up excluding a ton of people because you didn't think about them or whatever. It's inefficient and it doesn't work
I think you'd put alot of people in their places!
You make sense but I bet it makes alot of people upset🥺
Sadly it's more of the ladder. There are so many people out they're who will die on the hill of a 57 letter acronym rather than something that's actually usable.
Queer is still a slur for many, in particular the older gay folks. So they’ll be less likely to use it for obvious reasons. So it ain’t really “dumb” in this case. And why do ppl talk ab the acronym like you’re forced to pronounce/type it out when you sss there’s new letters added? Regardless of what anyone else is doing u can still type out the “LGBT+” and be good.
yes, all the cunts embarrass me
I'm mostly embarrassed b/c the one in my city is extremely boring. It's all corporations that rent busses and have a flag on it. Who cares? And it's just an excuse for suburban teens to come get wasted and trash the neighborhood.
Civic center in San Francisco used to be good. Now there’s so many old naked men strutting around. I don’t get it.
As a bi male Im 110% happy being an invisible and forgotten part of the LGBT community.
I dont understand being proud of your sexuality, especially to the point of flaunting it in a parade. Thats like being proud of being white, black, or Asian. Youre (insert race here) because you were born that way. You did not choose, your ancestors have next to nothing to do with you, and you do not/cannot represent your race in any way shape or form on an individual level.
I am not proud of any sexual interaction or behaviors I have engaged in. It was all dirty, gross, and unsanitary be it with a male or female.
I think we should all keep our sexualities out of the public view as much as is reasonably possible. I know, I'm a radical prude.
"B-but straight people are more visible in the media!" To me, that just sounds like cry baby bullshit.
> I dont understand being proud of your sexuality, especially to the point of flaunting it in a parade.
Really? Literally google the history of pride parades, and Pride in general.
I went to pride once and never went back again, I have no problem with people simply wearing kink gear as that's no different from dressing revealing but I legit saw people walking on 4 legs with a collar attached, in a place open to minors, many of whom are literal children under 13. Any time you bring this up that supposedly puts you in the same group as the homophobic alt right
No. Over the top pride parades are what made me realize that being queer is something we should celebrate, not shy away from. Pervs who engage in sex acts in public suck, but the fact that we as a community get blamed for the actions of a few shitty individuals is BS. There's pervs and assholes in every community, they don't define us.
Does Mardi Gras embarrass you as well?
Yes. It's mostly just a market campaign for woke corporations or for Leftist politics.
All the fetish and kink stuff has no place in a gay march. Have a kink march if you want to walk around with your dick out or crawling on your knees while dressed as a dog. Just make it an adults only events. That kind of thing should be kept away from kids.
I am. It went from pride to seeing who could act like the biggest whore in public. It’s really embarrassing.
You've never been to a Pride then. EDIT: Or your perception of acceptable social behavior is extremely narrow-minded.
I'm not gay, but every time I see stuff like this I can't help but ask "are they okay with this? Because this seems excessive." I have nothing against anyone who is gay/bi/lesbian/etc. I consider them friends and people just like anybody else. But when pride months come by it almost across like a mockery to those who just want to have the same equal rights and not be stoned by the mention it.
Companies do abuse the hell out of it though.
what actually saddens me is how it turned into an easy way to make profit with companies' rainbow logos, colorful merch, promos and all that which actually don't really appeal to the targeted public as much as they'd expect. Pride month isn't something to be embarrassed about, we should cherish the community as the respect towards it has definitely grown over the past years. However, there are still many cases of discrimination, homosexuality is even illegal in some places and punished with death. yeah, unfortunately sometimes there are kink and overly sexual things in general being displayed which miss the whole point of pride and end up just looking like a carnival parade, but that's another story from your parents being clearly homophobic and trying to find an excuse for it.
I believe that Pride parades were created to celebrate the accomplishments of the lgbtq+ community and equal rights and other things, I’m not ashamed by pride but I do think at just a place for big, asshole corporations to profit off our oppression
Some of the behavior is not appropriate for children. But, it’s not much different from a Mardi Gras parade.
Are you about to say that because I wear a pup hood and harness that I am deliberately pushing sex on children?
I’ll never forget someone walking in the street with the parade wearing a strap-on. The person was thrusting it at the crowd. Bare breasts or bottoms aren’t necessarily sexual however, nor is a pup hood and harness, that’s really just a costume.
OK as a straight with very little to no drive I find the overtly sexual displays bad taste and I do not think they show the gay community at their best in any way tbh.
I am always defending gay rights in my family but it is Mardigra or pride mth that gives the haters way too much ammo.
You're feeding into anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric by conservative or "family" sourced media. What you're seeing hardly makes up a percent of a pride event. For example, I'm one of those "overtly sexual" people according to the media, but I don't have sex at these events. I fully admit, I am one of those "sluts" but I keep that shit behind closed doors and away from the public. I marched with that contingent in the 2019 Chicago Parade, we were just one single entry out of over 100...we didn't even make up 1% of the parade, but you can bet your ass media was all over it, blowing it up and talking about how Pride is all about sex and kink now.
EDIT: You're also probably making way too much out of the outfits. The drag and leather/kink communities were major leaders in the fight for HIV treatment, awareness, and justice, and just because someone likes to wear leather or not a lot of clothes doesn't mean they're pushing sex on people. For every person who bitches about "half naked" people, I can google image 1,000 pictures of people in bathing suits in public...half naked. The harnesses don't mean "have sex." They're just harnesses/fashion. Pup hoods don't mean "have sex with animals." They're just pup hoods. A person in a jock strap isn't saying "kids, wear these and have sex." They're wearing it because they feel good in them. Many asexual people are in these communities too, and are in it for the social aspect; there's no sex at all. Don't think of these groups as "sex groups." Fetishes and kinks aren't always required to be sexual, and each of these have notably social aspects/communities too, just like how fans of TV shows or other fandoms get together.
Stop buying into that bullshit, and educate yourself about these communities, and get your pride news from different sources that aren't out to "defend traditional family values."
No it’s empowering. Fuck heteronormativity and having to be proper or civil to be accepted.
I'm particularly sick of the "it's too sexual" rhetoric. It's such a small minority, but media just loves to blow it up, because that's what gets their sites clicks, and their channels views.
We were treated like shit for being too sexual or deviant, even when we kept that shit out of the public and in private, and we still got the shaft. We're way past "if we just behaved we'd be accepted more."
The US is too Puritan. Who cares if anyone wants to be proud of their bodies, their kink, etc. The human body wasn’t meant to be shameful. So if anyone in lgbtq community wants to dance around with their dick out? More power to them. We have really got to get over the Shame associated with nudity and sexuality.
Hugs sweetheart. I share your opinion. It’s why my dad is so violently opposed to the idea that I could be pansexual. “You couldn’t possibly fit in with that street walking trash!” God fucking dammit dad we are NOT ALL DEVIANTS. I just love a compatible brain, I don’t care what parts it came with!!
Have you considered that your dad would be homophobic even without pride parades and that perhaps it isn't the fault of people having a party that your dad is a shitty person?
Oh yeah, I have. Just adding to the idea that some public behaviors give assholes a reason to be louder. Also it’s not about personal parties. This was expressed in the context of public places and behavior specifically.
I just hate how people/companies use it for attention because they are “woke” or whatever. It all just seems so fake, change your profile pic or update a pages’ banner to have a rainbow for a month, then go back to whatever you had before. I like that people are starting to be more accepting and all, but I kinda just wish people wouldn’t blow it up and make a big deal about accepting other people for who they are. I hate we’re at a point where acceptance/understanding isn’t already normal
Is it OK to be straight and not like this pride month for exactly this reason? Gay-folks are human beings; professionally they could be a teacher, a policeperson, pilot, doctor, in IT, etc - whom they sleep with is their business, not mine!
I get the sexualised display and outfits stuff, that kinda leans into the negative stereotype of "what being gay is" I think
Here's the thing...even when we didn't do that, we were ridiculed the same way. People seem to think if we "just stopped being so sexual" bigots who literally target us for our sexuality would stop. They won't, and history shows this. The reason why we even have parades is because queer people were minding their own business in private clubs, yet police continuously came and raided them, forcing them out onto the streets, exposing them.
We have parades to remember the *riots* that happened after police raided our spaces due to our sexuality and lifestyles, yet we were minding our own business. We were treated like shit either way, so no...there's no holding back anymore. The parades started as a riot, then became protests/marches, and today are now parades.
What you essentially have is decades of queer people trying to live their life, minding their own business, then bigoted politicians/law enforcement tell everyone homosexuals are sexual deviants, despite us not even being that public about it. So what do they do? Find our spaces, raid them, force us onto the street, the name-drop arrested queers to the public so they can say "see, here's the sexual deviants we told you about," and leave out that before they found/arrested them, those people were in private, minding their own business.
Yeah sometimes. The overt fetish gear and flamboyance that would make Elton cringe make me roll my eyes but I just chalk it up to it mainly bein the young ones, fresh out, and able to express what they've had to repress.
Pro gay manifestations are welcome, specially on countries when gay people are chased and hunt down.
Pride month is just some bullshit that corporations to sell rainbow coloured crap.
It's stupid to be proud of being gay, same as it's stupid to have pride on being white or black - you were born that way, there's nothing to be proud of... Now, the culture surrounding certain aspects, yes.
Roughly how often have you seen sexual acts at pride events, and roughly how often do you go to those events?
While I can agree with what you're saying, I've never seen a sexual act at a pride event and I've likely been to around 20 such events myself, so I'm trying to see if this is a real problem I'm just missing or an overblown one.
What's pride month?
I’m not gay, but yeah it’s cringey af
Some people are held down 11 months a year and feel like this is their one opportunity to actually have fun. I think they have every right to wanna go nuts. And also, all this bs about fetish and leather at pride "mAkinG uS LoOk BaD...!" is bullshit. Those communities were there for us when the *entire* rest of the world wanted us all dead, in jail, or chemically castrated, so they get to stay.
If you want to stop being a virgin all you've got to do is find another virgin and problem-solved
Well, go fuck each other or something idk