T O P
tomslatt19

She really hit you with the “How I ain't bring nothin' to the table when I'm the table?”


Mussalila

I'ma turn up the music, wake up the neighbours


micaiah95

Imma get that Thug Life tatted cross the navel


keefsteve

this is how i am in real life, not just on tinder


Ill_Description2414

"Ms. Narcissist, " tell her 'bout her arrogance


knowledge319

No more counseling, I don’t negotiate with therapists


cllick

God Ye, wanna let God in, But tonight I’m gonna let my pride win


AndrewAllStar888

Dr Dre sent me scriptures, help me see life better


Daddy_Scar

n**** we having the west divorce ever


Glad-Corner5667

If we go to court we go to court together


JumboSnausage

[LETS WAKE UP THE NEIGHBOURS, GONNA WAKE UP YOUR NEIGHBOURS](https://youtu.be/_I1zIhVICwA)


HankHillsBigRedTruck

It's 8 o'clock in the mornin and the neighbors are upstairs snorin!


psychoella

Nice profile pic 😎


finger_milk

"Sweetheart, a table can support a family of 4. You ain't even that"


2ntle

Well that really depends on the sturdiness of said table


LessInThought

Why is the family sitting on the table instead of on chairs


TheMereMortal

Chairs are really just butt-tables


JesustheSpaceCowboy

[I AM THE TABLE!!!](https://youtu.be/j7_mMYsPVqs)


ewdrive

Minus! Five! Stars!


IllusionaryHaze

*GEEZUUS*


AnthonyGonsalvez

Here comes mongo.


smurb15

FIRE BAD


Akosa117

Man, there really is something for everything


Helpdeskagent

Wat? She comes with 2 free kids, you just have to take care of them and spend time with them and buy them stuff


Glum_Ad_9005

And cook and clean up after them. Don’t forget that part


behind_looking_glass

OP’s next move is to press the unmatch button and avoid this train wreck of a human being. I see nothing but red flags here.


EvergreenEnfields

More red flags than May Day at the Kremlin


mrrooftops

beyond red flags... red sirens


Bullen-Noxen

In before first date to find out she is as flat as a board….table.


Zanglirex2

Yeah, next move is to dip dude. This doesn't sound like a great long term strategy


fronto0

U can cum on the table but not in it 😔


mtabacco31

With 6 kids I think he can finish where ever he wants.


weaponess

Phrasing


ge0zzii

those poor kids


Trans_Child_Molester

Starving with nothing to eat.


swanbiltong

Anyone know how to lay a table?


PmMeYourAmatuerNudes

Well first you need to secure the wood.


Riff_Moranis

I AM THE TABLE! ​ Botchamania intesifies


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dry_Understanding273

We 6 kids ion think she’s a table. More like a booth


darkResponses

Are you not paying attention. She also brings her two kids


impvespec

Say you prefer a bed or couch for the first kid, but a table could work I guess


Sabermoose

Perfect


Ownfir

Damn dude if I said this I would have poured myself a drink and pat myself on the back. That is next level smooth. Wish I could think like this when I flirt with my wife lmao.


disnolol

I too wish I was that smooth when flirting with your wife


Ok_Scale_4412

Profile pic checks out


Particular_Hat6205

Smooth


Oinelow

That's actually a pretty good joke since it's both Tinder and Reddit friendly


crunkymonky

Ask where she got her carpentry certification


AdultishRaktajino

Gotta have something to conceive the next 4 kids on.


LankanBeast14

Jesus, he was a great carpenter apparently.


lolplsimdesperate

This one’s good OP


SweetPurpleDinosaur1

I love this 😂


obviousredflag

6" dick, jk only 2


bignick1190

2 6" dicks? Sounds like a party


Richybabes

Damn 26" dicks sound inconvenient.


ItzFin

But 26 dicks is beyond a gang bang at that point


Trans_Child_Molester

It's an alphabet rape!


EnglishPryncypalka

I am not native speaker, and bad at english, can someone explain what is with her answer ,,i bring the table". For me it just sounded like joke, what does that mean?


silbergeistlein

The phrase, “what do you bring to the table”, is what are you contributing to the relationship in this case. When she says that she’s bringing the table, it was meant to be a witty quip, but it actually says that she’s not bringing anything to the relationship. It’d be like if you asked an employer if they offered any benefits, opportunity for advancement, etc., and they’d respond with we gave you a job. What else do you want?


nightimelurker

Whack! And i thought it was just a harmless joke.


libjones

It very well could have been just a harmless joke lol, no one here has any more insight to this than you do, your interpretation is just as valid as anyone else’s who’s just here guessing at what they meant. Just because someone has a lot of upvotes doesn’t mean they are right.


Oobedoob_S_Benubi

I mean we've seen a lot of women say " I am the table" without joking. Now this one said *bring* the table, not *am* the table, so I am inclined to agree it was just a joke, but can't rule out that it wasn't a joke.


dhSquiggly

I took her bringing the table to mean that she’s got the whole setup on her own, that he only need to bring himself because she got her shit down pat.


hambone263

I wouldn’t assume she is serious (I don’t think you do either). They are joking about having kids y’all Side note: This is why I have to disagree with r/fuckthes. Poe’s Law


NoiceOne

The only joke here my friend is dis bitch.


Knife_Chase

Couldn't it also mean "I'm providing a house with a dining room that has a table" which also implies they're financially stable on their own.


[deleted]

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Richybabes

r/Tinder and assuming the absolute worst from the other person in a conversation. Name a more iconic duo.


wellyesnowplease

I took the joke a different way, that she was bringing in a lot of income income to be able to "bring the table", while her guy did all the rest. but tbh, I find the sexual references much funnier, so I hope that's her intent.


EnglishPryncypalka

Thank you very much for explaining!


[deleted]

>but it actually says that she’s not bringing anything to the relationship No, it could be one of a number of things: A) "what do you bring to the table?" is a douchey thing to ask someone after first asking them what it takes to be a dad. So she gives an equally (and self aware) douchey response B) she thinks she's the main event C) self deprecating parent humor


Polyhedron11

It's actually hard to tell and english is my only language. It could be a joke or it could mean they don't bring anything to the relationship. It could also be a play on the kitchen sink joke as in, she brings everything to the table (provides appropriately). Hope I was clear and concise enough.


NamTokMoo222

It means she brings nothing, only a place to put all the other things. As for getting all these items, this is where you come in.


iflyontrains

get. out.


chris96m

last sentence is a MASSIVE red flag.


exaviyur

I think it's just a funny self deprecating joke.


Docoe

You must be new here. Everything a redditor sees is a red flag


TiiGerTekZZ

Lets test this. What color/colour is this flag. "🏳"


Iken42

You know saying "color/colour" is a massive red flag right?


Docoe

Red flag


Lulullaby_

100% this Some Redditors really need to go and touch some grass and also learn that you can in fact make jokes about yourself.


boogers19

"Touch grass" has to be about the most redditor thing you could type.


bilabided

Yea, really seems like that. This is just funny flirting at


Impressive_BOIIII

I don't understand. There's two opposite opininions on a topic but neither of them got downvoted. Since when did reddit learn tolerance??


splashbruhs

Twitter and FB are now the clear bad guys, so we gotta represent


AJam

I'm more concerned about the list of expectations and demands


vampire_camp

She’s honestly describing the requirements of being a parent. He made the joke about having kids, she said “lol ok but this is what it takes.” How do any of you people exist in society


splashbruhs

We don’t. This is more of a “Here’s what I found the last time I was out on safari. Let’s disseminate it together anonymously and from the safety of our own homes” kinda place.


SandaledGriller

>How do any of you people exist in society They don't. The phrase "terminally online" comes to mind


Bismothe-the-Shade

You list that you're a parent in social media, your reception activity goes down. Thing is, a lot of folks don't want to deal with kids and it's like... They don't want you to talk about it either. Seen so many posts here and some other subs where it's a single mom putting down the "I have kids and shit to take care of don't be a fuckboy or waste my time" boundary and getting shit on for being choosey when she has kids. It's like a recursive fuckboy loop of idiocy.


kdubz1122

Seems like standard list of things to be a functioning adult/parent


HooliganNamedStyx

Concerned about the list of what it takes to be an adult and a theoretical parent in their theoretical 'we have kids' imaginative playdate? Jesus, I really am starting to get worried for some of these people I see online. Do you ever have any actual conversations in real life?


-neti-neti-

Lmao Reddit is so fucking dumb. It’s just a joke


TrueRedditMartyr

Reddit moment


Creatura

It’s playful banter you gorgon


Zhior

Nah dude. That's what called a j-o-k-e out in the real world


bynn

Lol let me reframe the convo for you Him: so how’s about you pump out a bunch of my kids Her: haha funny Him: I bet it’s a lot of work to take care of kids Her: yeah it is. You should be able to provide them a stable life, get along with your co-parent and do a lot of cleaning up after and cooking for them Him: so what are you going to do for me? Her: 🙄


YamazakiAllday

love the reference ;)


user1891477423674e11

Nope the fuck out.


Master_Jee

Exactly this, your next move is to abort this shit before you end up step daddy to multiple kids & a partner that will leech you for it.


Grizelda179

Relax it’s a funny joke from her side


awsamation

Then it's a bad joke. Unless she immediately followed up with a second message that responded with what she does bring. Otherwise it's Schrodingers douchebag.


bynn

Lol I laughed. He’s joking around about being a father to multiple children and what it takes to do that. She’s telling him what it takes to do that. She obviously already does all that stuff herself. He’s the one pursuing her, he doesn’t need to ask if she knows how to cook, clean, and take care of her own damn kids lol


Vulpes_Irae

Clearly none of these people have heard about banter.


YesImDavid

For a while now I’ve been under the the impression most men on the subreddit haven’t even spoken to a woman.


isuckatpiano

Or you know ever talked to women…


Odd_Employer

What the fuck is "banter?" You made that up.


MD_Lincoln

You summed it up perfectly, thanks! Plus, “I bring the table” could be read as, I have my own place, you just bring yourself. Sounds awesome!


bynn

I definitely read it as “you’re the one joking around about me giving birth to four more children for you. Now you’re asking what more I should be doing for you in our imaginary life that you made up in the first place” lol


lillian00280

This. And the fact that people are upset with her listing the responsibilities, when he prompted the question... as though she is the one being flippant?! I think her response is very witty. She brings the home, the family, and clearly *she takes care of such responsibilities already on her own*, while he merely only claims to, with his "I cook clean, blah blah blah. what do you bring?" Imo, people who ask the sort of "what do you bring to the table" questions *so soon* are generally not very perceptive or are self centered. But, on the off chance she is looking for some do-it-all sugar daddy type, or unable to provide for her children, well... understandable she might need help but hopefully that's not her sole objective


Orsick

Yeah, but she's a woman. And we all know women can't be funny \s


_Diakoptes

Idk, ive seen lots of parents that cant do any of that. Its not a given that you can run a household just because you gave birth.


DustHog

I can’t imagine not reading this as a joke? Disappointing to see people so Reddit poisoned and unable to realize it 😢


Miamimartian

she could just be kidding… reddit doesn’t give anyone the benefit of the doubt


wordscollector

Long scroll to find a positive vibe, but I thought it was funny too


Snake_Island_13

I just realized redditors don’t think women are funny because they can’t identify when women are joking around.


MermaiderMissy

Plus all of the things she is asking for seem like the bare minimum for an adult (except for maybe financially stable these days) Most adults looking for relayionships **should** be team players, calm, clean up after themselves, know how to cook AT LEAST a few dishes. So I don't understand all of the "RUN DUDE SHE IS ASKING FOR WAY TOO MUCH" comments. Now if she's looking for all of these qualities but doesn't have any of them herself, that's a different story.


psydelem

Especially when he’s joking about having 4 more kids with her.


Norwedditor

I thought she was being hilarious?


dontbemystalker

That’s absolutely something I would say as a joke, I thought it was funny (if it is indeed a joke)


ce_he

it's a joke. he's literally talking in future tense.


AFisberg

From the tone of the convo it seems like a joke, but I guess can't really say for sure


PotterGirl7

exactly, this whole convo was joking until she did her last response? nah


wahobely

zomGA ReD flaG GeT OuT


So_Desu_Ne

Hooman female? RED FLAG


comehonorphaze

Lol was my first thought. Was a funny response. Gonna have to keep conversing to learn more about her is all.


SimplyExtremist

I’m 80% certain r/tinder is full of people who simply don’t like women.


InfiniteBoy23

only 80%?


avwitcher

That's because they can't get laid, and that's pretty much the only thing they want from women


GoldEdit

That is very true, half the time this is a terrible woman-hating place. I love when women stand up for themselves...but in this case I don't like children so it's difficult.


Xrayruester

That feels like the internet in general


Gertrudethecurious

agreed - reddit is full of teenagers.


prestigious_delay_7

I'm angry at everything but I don't know why.


TheRealMicrowaveSafe

Right? They're flirting on tinder, not making a legally binding contract.


K1FF3N

She’s 100% joking and I hope OP isn’t scared away by some man-o-sphere shitheads and 14 year olds who have no dating experience.


scorpio8u

“I eat ass”


ufakefekomoaikae

The only right answer 😂


[deleted]

I assume she was only joking.


SpermaSpons

My assumption too. No clue why people are taking this seriously


Otterable

Probably because there's a bit of a tonal shift where she lists a bunch of things that she desires in a partner, or things that she thinks is important to be the father of children, and he affirms most of them, then asks her to do the same and she responds with nothing. Like yeah it's likely a joke, but he probably also wants to know those things, and there is an off chance she's serious.


K1FF3N

The joke is a context clue that she wasn’t serious to begin with. IDK why that wasn’t clear to ya’ll when they said six kids in todays economy.


[deleted]

Maybe they don't find it funny? "I expect you to do everything for me lol" Such a joke has likely been an actual experience for too many people (men and women).


binkerfluid

yep, been there, done that. Never again.


UnBlueFire42

Is it a nice table?


dreexel_dragoon

Its just had two kids making a mess at it for years


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[удалено]


marfes3

The lion, the witch and the audacity of this bitch.


Enraged37

The ball, the pitch, and the audacity of this bitch.


Stephchaa

The plug, the switch, and the audacity of this bitch.


The_SSS_

Anyone who says they bring the table is giving off a huge red flag. This conversation should be over. There’s no need for a next move. Edit: I get that people think it’s a joke, but it’s not a funny joke unless she’s setting up another joke.


Rjoe1993

I think it's funny if it's a banter tho.


RedOneHitter

No everything is serious 😠


Pentax25

There isn’t another option


THAWED21

It's all fun and games until she shows up with a table that doesn't match your style.


trickman01

Redditors identifying joke challenge: Impossible.


[deleted]

Redditors finding red flag challenge: Apparently everything anyone says


LeftRightRightUp

It’s a self-effacing joke.


AFisberg

I thought it was a joke


AncientHawaiianTito

Dude started the convo by offering to impregnate her 4 times. They can wave their many red flags together and do everyone a service by taking eachother out of the public dating pool


Gingered32

Thank you. I love how everyone attacks her table comment but disregards him saying the next four kids will be with him… ?


FlatSystem3121

Dude calm down it's a joke.


infamous_237

Fuuuuuuuck that. Onto the next.


Massive_Screen6424

Everyone is saying run, but I think she’s just joking. She joked about how many kids she had so it’s safe to assume she is messing around about the table thing.


SIM0N__

Maybe the people are misinterpreting her sentence. Perhaps she got a house, so she is 'bringing the table' ?


dperolio

Yeah, this is how I read it. And or that she’s a breadwinner, i.e. earning to provide for the household furnishings, such as a table.


sammylnyc

r/tindercirclejerk


StuntHacks

Did you mean: _r/tinder_?


beeleebelle

I might be reading this differently, but is she maybe not saying what she expects of someone else, but what she has learned is necessary for her to be like as a mom?


Nearby_Emu4514

Yes, this is how I interpreted it also. OP is the one who made it about what she could offer him, which is why it’s a great response. It’s cheeky, not an actual answer.


missmaryjane17

why are you all so mad? it’s clearly a joke …. like she’s clearly fucking joking? some of you getting so angry and calling this person a bitvh and stuff is just straight scary lmao


Edy94

Yeah I found this funny af


Inner-Challenge9786

That’s just a Joke. ( I hope so😅) And not a bad one


Hextall2727

Tables are her corn


Jokker_is_the_name

"bring the bed instead"


Neath_Izar

The whole 'I bring the table' gets so annoying, better bachelor did a good video on that


absolutelynotthatguy

> better bachelor These channel thumbnails look like its a incel shithole.


HerezahTip

I’ve found that any kind of “bachelor coach” online is incel central.


TidusJames

I wasnt going to jump to conclusions off just your observation, but after scrolling through his videos I couldnt easily pick one that didnt ooze... 'clickbait for men who are angry at women for their own failings.' Even the videos that had potential and were legitimately calling out valid concerns... the word choice in the titles and thumbnails... hmmm... how to put this.. - Nothing I saw indicated a well balanced and healthy minded individual.


Mustakrakish_Awaken

That's what's so frustrating with those PUA/red pill/FDS/incel advice forums or videos; they sprinkle just enough truth or good advice (usually along the lines of valuing yourself and improving yourself) but then twist the overall message into something that's just so gross.


TwoTailedFox

It's insidious.


lostshell

Work on yourself. Work out. Eat better. Clean your place. Invest in yourself. Wash clothes regularly. Women are the devil, succubi sent to bleed men dry. Don’t forget the fabric softener.


GregorSamsaa

Stop watching those vids, for your own sanity


Available_Homework61

Ask if she wants to smash on the table she brings


Arkangel_Ash

I make 6 figures. Just kidding, only 2.


Low_Egg_7606

Why is everyone taking her response so seriously 😭 it’s funny if she was joking. She already joked about having 6 kids. Stop taking everyone serious on tinder, y’all sound so miserable in the comments right now. Lighten tf up like genuinely, all of you. If you don’t like someone’s response just unmatch them it’s not the end of the world. Her saying she brings the table doesn’t make her a bitch or shitty. Y’all are so dramatic😭


PuzzledPosition1003

I thought that meant she'll be the breadwinner?!


dhSquiggly

THIS!!! My first thought was it meant she has all her shit together so much so that she has the table and all he has to bring is himself.


Lunaandthemoon

Ask if it’s oak or mahogany


[deleted]

“I AM THE TABLE!!!” If she understands the reference, marry her


wreckluse121

Ask her if she wants 6


astro143

"I hope it's sturdy with all the kids we'll be making on it"


Ok-Researcher

yall are socially derelict. its just a quip?? a smooth response to “what do you bring to the table” which is a weird move and honestly a huge turnoff. it’s dating not a job application, and i personally would have gotten instant ick and not bothered to respond. inb4: she wasnt telling him he has to ‘bring all that to the table’, she was rattling off what kind of labor is involved with raising kids.


vandingo_

“I bring the table” better equate to “I’ll supply a relationship with a house.”


Big_Dick_NRG_0341

“I bring the table”… and that’s why she’s on tinder as single with two kids.


cedren

“I identify as baggage”


Kamal_Toe_Harris

Next move is to unmatch and find someone who isn’t looking for someone to cling onto with their children.


[deleted]

If you’re looking for a genuine answer, I’d suggest asking her to tell you more about the table you’re coming to. Ask her about her kids, their dad, her work, her favourite meals to cook (and you tell her yours). This conversation is only as high stakes as it is because she has two kids and now every interaction for her in a dating capacity is loaded and srs bsns. You’re not going to get around that, you have to face it like a standup guy or if you’re not up to it, fade out before you make plans to go on a date and waste this woman’s time. Ask her where she sees herself in five years, ask her what she’s looking for in a partner, ask her what her dating history has been like in terms of being let down and if you’re serious then ask her how you can avoid letting her down. Anything else without asking any questions is just going to be a very immature response based on the inability to take a joke because of stigma you’re buying into about single mothers and the associated stereotypes. I’m sure you wouldn’t want someone forming their opinion on you via stereotypes.


dhSquiggly

This is a quality response for OP.


AmbeeGaming

I always take that to mean they own a home.