T O P
[deleted]

I'm not expecting much but I feel like I need updates


Follicly_Endowed

Update - he ate some ass


Hopefulwaters

At least once.


Bjorn2bwilde24

He ate one ass. What about second ass?


dwehlen

I don't think he knows about second ass!


KatanaVx

What about eleven-asses? Ass Luncheon? Afternoon Ass? Dinner Ass? Supper Ass? He knows about them, doesn’t he?


imdesmondsunflower

I don’t think he knows about any of them, Pip.


Tacocat310

Reading this was the best start to my day I could've asked for


Ranthar2

You fool of a took!


hrdrck1117

Sleazy booty, greasy booty..


kyvalkre

I wouldn't count on it katanaVx


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

MOOOAAARRR?


Pack_Revolutionary

Ass, glorious ass, 🎶


Moxyze

*shocked, gasping* He wanted MORE?


Dodecahedrus

Apple shape comes flying towards him.


dwehlen

Gimme dem apple-bottom jeans.


pez_latte_snoopy

And the Reebok's with the straps?


xStingRae

but he didnt turn around and give the booty a slap. He gave it a munch


3chxes

Mixing ass is like mixing soda. The flavors just get better and better!


lilsparky82

From the responses, it may have been his own


Follicly_Endowed

It’s all ass at the end of the day. Way she goes, bud


lilsparky82

The way she goes


blinkme102

Fuckn way she goes


bobbyburnknuckle

That's the way she goes


arnhem026

Way of the road bud


anotherone121

He got his own ass handed to him... and he gobbled that shit up!


LettuceUnlucky5921

Plot twist- he doesn’t know how to eat ass and bites


tgsoon2002

And here i'm waiting to see how many of them is redditor and post this on here.


Makkaroni_100

Women, on reddit? I thought there are no women here.


ProfessionalAfter671

Shit I best leave...


Makkaroni_100

Oh, I found one ☝️, crazy.


ProfessionalAfter671

We pop up in the most unexpected places to keep you guys on your toes 😉🤣


Makkaroni_100

Jokes aside, I think every community is more healthy if it is not just 90% men or 90% women.


Footsoldier420

Update - The ass ate him


Supermalt418

He’s now in a ass ception


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Probably sitting on a yacht licking his eyebrows in his profile pic


teh_chungus

if a dude can lick his eyebrows and eat ass, I'm in, no homo


Supermalt418

He probably passes the rule 1 & 2 of tinder that’s why


Angelkdp

Actually tinder is weird I created a profile a week ago and the first 3 days I had 7 matches and 20 likes👌🏼 then I upgraded to gold. So I could match my likes and now nobody likes me :( and the ones who liked me never replied 🤷🏽‍♂️


Suitable_Diver894

Its the algorithm.. bumps you up at first to get you excited then takes it away to get you to pay


RedditorSays

I’d guess the next update is “banned”. Despite what you may see on here, I think this approach is pretty risky since you don’t know how well it’ll be taken.


Newb2002

![gif](giphy|yZPyaOEOCwZ7W)


Newb2002

Can’t give update. He is chocolate wasted.


[deleted]

Why wouldn’t you expect much? Do you see how many matches that is? This guy is Ryan Reynolds level attractive.


Jaded-Bat-9395

I feel it’s now expected.


Plupert

Since you’re flex posting you’re legally obligated to show us your profile


onecrystalcave

True


Pedrotorres08

Double true


Bryftw

Triple true


Medval91

Quadruple true


IIIDVIII

Quintuple true.


artemistica

Sextuple (nice) true


IMD918

Septuple true


DammitCaesar

Octaple true


Phillyredsox

Nonuple true.


Aww_Skeeb_Im_Kumn

K/d ratio .05 Not bad ![gif](giphy|Od0QRnzwRBYmDU3eEO|downsized)


Excellent_Routine_47

He wrote that he had 17 more screenshots, so the kd rate is a bit lower 😂


toskk1

Dont gotta flex on us with all the matches


Tvdb4

In another post he said that’s all from the past 2 years


seeet2

Well, I have more "years of experience" on Tinder and I can count with my finger the amount of likes I received.


7777george777

I'm at my all time high of 6 likes rn 🔥🔥 Been on for about 4 years, about 5 matches total lol


WonWordWilly

Bro.....why not try something different


FUCKYOUINYOURFACE

Like putting in his profile that he eats ass.


danielshaw69

Yo, let one of your homies that gets a lot of matches do your Tinder shit. You don't have to be *that* attractive, but definitely need good pictures.


Majik9

There are certain rules


Onduladom

Ya like 1 and 2


TronyJavolta

Lmao


plur44

I used to complain about this, but after a suggestion from a match, I decided to change the pictures putting only pictures where I smiled. And I came up with a short but funny bio and it worked (i.e. I work in IT and I put "I'll repair your PC for a first date" it sounds desperate but girls used to find it funny). I didn't get thousands of likes but I used to get like 1 or 2 per week that was more than enough for me. And now I found someone that made me delete these apps Obligatory disclaimer: I don't comply with rules 1 and 2


SileNce5k

I feel you. Over the last 3 years, I don't even have one like.


ShinobiHanzo

Two years!!


pereira2088

there was another post regarding those "2 years" but is another redditor


DrowningInFeces

He obviously follows rules 1 and 2 of Tinder so something tells me it really doesn't matter what he says as an opener, he will likely get positive responses. Some people win the genetic lottery and others don't.


SunglassesDan

I imagine he followed rule number 1 very well, and this is him not following rule number 2.


InfamousSecrets

“Hi I’m Alex and I eat ass, this is my story”.


averyfinename

coming soon to netflix.


MJB9000

And that kids, is how I met your mother.


Previous-Caramel-290

My brother's wife is one of the matches. Will definitely need updates.


Mafuskas

If your brother doesn't eat ass, he might need to be worried.


SheIsNotWorthIt

Sometimes you just got to send a message


Previous-Caramel-290

Update... Lots of family news from this!! Meet my brother for a beer, dropped this on him and then he told me the whole thing. Nutshell version... She cheated on him a couple years ago. He forgave and they moved on. She asked for open marriage, he investigated, she took it as a yes. He shot it down she got mad. They were good, he thinks, for a few years and then she cheated again. Divorce finalized at the end of this month. The family has no idea. I am told to keep the secret. FML


SirBertytheblond

Holy Fuck ! Hope your brother’s hanging in there I’m sure he appreciates your support your a good guy


DrCardboardBox69

Holy shit the things you’ll find in Reddit comments


jaskmackey

But does she want her ass eaten?


3OuncesOfWeed

make a post about this


freeenlightenment

Did your brother get married in the last 2 years? OP's matches are from the past couple years.


Landon1m

What a way to learn your brother and his wife are swingers!


Chim_Pansy

"Swingers" Yeahhhh...


salutemysharts

And enjoy they ass ate.


pieandablowie

This really made me laugh, thanks


SENSHU_dp

or she just cheating on my mans


lol_ur_hella_lost

😬 so much drama in this man’s matches someone’s ex gf is there too wild


jpark28

I'd say someone's current wife being in there is much more dramatic than someone's ex gf lol


flaming_dortos

We finally found him. Mr steal your girl


duaneap

Imma bet that it’s not *actually* some dude’s wife. Catfishes and bots need to get pictures from somewhere after all.


Late-Conflict-6539

Good lord


always_plan_in_advan

This man about to expose some secrets while going viral!


Aggravating_Many2319

You need updates. We need updates. OP and caramel290.. please don't leave us hanging


Supermalt418

You might wanna tell your brother to try eat ass sooner before he becomes ass-less


ExpertCatJuggler

Fuuuuck this guy is absolutely wrecking homes


blorgenheim

![gif](giphy|D6C1xEUxPTRbfkgChh)


Flashy-Main6519

How long have they been together? If it’s less than 2 years, might not be as bad as it seems. Lol.


JWARRIOR1

Someone needs this on bestofredditorupdates


[deleted]

[удалено]


OPsUnbornChild

I don't believe you.


FUCKYOUINYOURFACE

Like, maybe your brother doesn’t eat ass and that’s why she’s on Tinder?


NanashiKaizenSenpai

RemindMen 2d


Hahhahaahahahhelpme

That’s no way not at least one of those girls are on this sub.


WuTang360Bees

I think it’s pretty likely no girls are on this sub


ChaosUnderGlass

Oh I'm sure there are a few


mechmo

Bro I need to see your tinder profile for science


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_best_one_-_

Let me cop a look at your profile, can give advice if you want


flock-of-bagels

All you can eat Buttfet


NotSmug

He really said "why stop at one?"


in_search_of_flow

Butt-fed


Rich_Pangolin_2933

Lmao that’s my ex gf💀


kadathsc

All of them?


Fickle-Initiative-81

Yes


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fickle-Initiative-81

YES


ojoaopestana

Yes man


SaidsStreichtechnik

r/suddenlycommunism


Th3_Mack

Comrade


Rich_Pangolin_2933

Taylor page 2


Pushgato16

…And now you share the story of the horrible break up cause you didn’t like to eat ass


FriscoFrank98

You don’t need to flex on us that you have an ex girlfriend


philouza_stein

Don't tell her. Dm OP so he can give you updates


RocksHaveFeelings2

Damn bro. She's good looking


[deleted]

Don't you eat ass?


Rich_Pangolin_2933

I do, unfortunately she was indiscriminate of who ate hers


slynnc

So what you’re saying is OP has a chance…


Rich_Pangolin_2933

Of catching an std? Yes.


slynnc

Literally chuckled. I feel like going through with this in any capacity is asking for one in the first place but I haven’t been single in a hot minute so idk how dating works any more, anyway.


plaguelivesmatter

😭😭😭😭😭


blorgenheim

This is the best thread in the world


seebacon

Up vote, we need to follow this now!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Individual_Client175

Bro you must be gorgeous, so many matches....


Macho_Mans_Ghost

Follows the rules


pstapper

Is rule #1 to pay tinder money?


YoBoiWitTheShits

Rule 1 is to have a big huge thick veiny meaty wallet Rule 2 is don't be unattractive


Comorbidititties

Paying tinder doesn’t really get you more matches, it’s largely convenience. Yes, you can see who has swiped you, but in theory if you’re into them you’d swipe on them anyway. I don’t put any faith in boosts etc.


kaihatsusha

"DALL-E, draw me a Tinder match list with lots of pretty women."


Frankandbeans1974

This man is clearly following rule one and rule two and I need to go to the gym


ZeeHanzenShwanz

Guess rule 3 is to eat ass.


Pozniaky86

You know the rules.


hanahnothannah

And so do I


DonDraper1994

You really just sabotaged all those matches huh?


FerociousTumbleweed

He’s probably attractive if he’s getting that many matches… and if you’re attractive a lame line can get you with most women.


SunshineBlind

Yeah it's really less about what's said and more about who said it.


Dimako98

Is he? He said this was several years of matches. I've got roughly 150 if I include all the ones I've deleted due to no response. I don't consider myself to be particularly attractive.


nptu

I unmatch a lot when the conversation isn't going anywhere. Didn't really know people kept their matches around even when nothing came of the interaction


FerociousTumbleweed

Oh really? Then maybe he isn’t that attractive. Idk what’s considered a lot for men but i had a friend that had hundreds in a short time period despite not being all that attractive.


Dimako98

It seems to help if you're in a city. When I spent a few days in Boston, I got like a dozen matches on the first day, and a few each day I was there. Meanwhile, at home, I'll get maybe 1 a month if I'm actively swiping.


AdamL480

Or just genuinely doesn’t care to rush into a relationship of any single kind 🤸🏻‍♂️


Fiev20

I got 17 more screenshots but Reddit capped my uploads at 20 :(


VodkaAlchemist

How the flip do you have that many matches?


NeckRoFeltYa

Rule 1 Look good


hipnosister

Whoah, don't forget rule 2. Don't not look good


Eyeoftheleopard

Not to quote Billy Joel but…all ya need are looks and a whole lot of money!


DonDraper1994

Congrats on winning the gene lottery man


tealturboser

Don’t care. We need screenshots of them saying “well come do it” lol


tienteaz

Second post with the additional 17?


CallMeAmyA

Next comes the railing against them for their ridiculous standards.


Fyrefawx

If he matched with all of them I don’t think OP is worried about ruining a few matches. My dude just wants to eat ass.


horny_coroner

Idk its 2022 who doesnt eat ass these days? My motto has always been Live fast East ass.


Jackielegs93

Post your profile


IamAJediMaster

Reilly, Jonesy, or boomhauer? I can't decide.


Frankandbeans1974

All three. Them sperm had a donnybrook boys. Texas style.


insultant_

Dirty fucking dangles, boys!!


BottleOfGin_

Still don't know why eating ass is such a glorious thing on tinder. Most of these people don't even know what to feel but want the high level shit. Like damn


ChrisVF

““You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” - Wayne Gretzky” - Michael Scott


ELThirftyGinger

![gif](giphy|3otPoS81loriI9sO8o|downsized)


WillingCommittee

Dang how good looking is this man to have so many matches??? Send a pic OP


RhubarbPi3

You’re gonna get monkey pox 😢


turc1656

You're assuming a guy who messaged 100+ women about eating ass doesn't already have it and isn't patient zero.


fluffy_bottoms

All this tells us is that you are very pretty and very, VERY bad at being able to seal the deal.


danthemanvsqz

You're going to end up with hepatitis lol


WuTang360Bees

…or a delicious homecooked meal


4rm57r0n6

Pre-digested too


Darklightjg1

Wow... that is... not the level of graphic I expected today lol


forgivemeimhighrn

Holler with an update when Zoë responds 👀


Mr_peabody87

And all the girls instantly super matches my bro


SikkWitIt10

That's a bold strategy Cotton. Let's see how it works out for him!


bootie_groovie

It’s not as cute as you think it is


toomuchreligion

Please keep updating this thread so we can see the results lmao


worldsinho

Legend.


AllHailTheNod

Man has 20 pages of matches, with looks like that ofc he's gonns get a bunch of good resuöts with that openener


RevolutionAtDawn

I got this message!!


kkniveschau

What did it saaayyyyyyy


[deleted]

Another flexing post good god


Rocklin_

It’s always good to have a plan


can-ihugnkissyou

Do you though?


[deleted]

I would respond “I do too”


SapphicSpider

I'd unmatch so fast


that-wasunexpected

I wonder how many girls got this as a first message and just deleted their tinder in disgust.


Esterwinde

Congrats, you kinda doxxed them by accident to flex your own prowess but then again maybe some of them maybe not be real tinder bios.


dometuscomputers

Is it just me or half these look like bot accounts