Updated bio, any tips?
By - _gib_SPQR_clay_
I would take out the last “nerd” but that’s just personal preference from experiencing too many quirky people, I like it otherwise! The work abroad brackets made me laugh.
Thanks for the feedback! That seems to be the only joke people actually like. Will have to update!
Read this thinking it was a girl and got jealous you matched with her. Am I gay now?
Got questions about the mullet part. But It’s not gay if we say no homo bro
In regards to the mullet. I got a thing for adventures women. I guess it was hopeful thinking xD
You will find your adventure girl one day my dude! I believe in you!
Came here to downvote the mullet. Any time I think mullet I see Joe Dirt
But I do like "make you fat" and "work abroad"
I'd give you an 8 and I'm not gay
Life’s a garden, dig it.
Thanks for the feedback my dude. Appreciate it
10/10 would do again
I think this bio is constantly undermining yourself
If you want to use some self deprecating humor, a little goes a long way. You don't have to double/triple/quadruple down on making fun of yourself
Actually a good call. Thanks my dude.
This is good advice actually :)
Agreed! change brackets after smart to something a little less negative… maybe “not always in a useful way” 🥲
And try to get rid of unnecessary swearing, it can be kind of a turn off. Like end it at “lazy” and get rid of pieces of shit or change it to couch potatoes
Meh, I think it's outstanding! It's hilarious. He is acting as if he gives 0 fucks and feels like he does not have to qualify himself. It's funny shit. Keep it all!
I’d swipe right. The SA flag caught my attention, the rest made me smile
Thanks! Are you also South African?
Any ways to improve it further? Would really appreciate it :)
Where do you live tjom?
It made me smirk. I like it.
Anyway I could improve it? :) appreciate the feedback!
How can you peak in high school with a mullet?
I’d swipe right 🤷🏻♀️
This is awesome I love it 😂
Thanks! Is there anything you would change?
Nah I’d keep it as is!
I think its interesting and fun OP. You have a great sense of humour. You sound like you'd be a great guy to have a beer and a chat to. I'd ➡️
I'd specify what kind of nerd, because that's what I would personally use as an icebreaker.
Greek myth and history. Didn’t want to limit myself though, I can nerd out to almost anything.
Hey, “nerd” helped you break the ice with me right now….
Can you nerd out to seventh wave post black metal?
I want to see the mullet. Pics or it didn’t happen.
I had it from grade 12 to the first year of university. Earned my self the nickname “pony” because it was so mane like.
I obviously pretended the nickname was a penis thing(couldn’t pass the opportunity up).
The first girl I got in a serious relationship with at uni made me shave it off :( still think about it sometimes
Stay gold ponyboy. Stay gold..
Dang, that story took a sour turn. I’m sorry dude.
It's good, really good. I especially like the 3-4 adventures then being lazy part. If I saw that I'd be all "FINALLY a guy who's not going to completely exhaust me with excessive adventuring!"
Less than fond of the political arguments one - I don't care if you stay up half the night arguing politics with internet strangers, that's cool, just don't argue with me about them. Hate political arguments and avoid them at all costs. Would still swipe right bc the rest is so good though.
Some of these replies are a bit over the top. Maybe just keep your bio a bit shorter, and I reckon you be fine bru
Thanks my dude, appreciate the advice
Myer Briggs is lame, cut.
Sounds like a redditor
Says the Redditor
to the Redditor
What did you just call him?
You've gone overkill with all the cringey jokes
So cut them way down?
Yeah, too much. You know, they won't read that at all.
Will definitely shorten it, thanks my dude.
I do find it fun af, great jokes. But I'm male. Seems women don't like my style of humour.
Just leave it blank. They don't read at all, anything.
Well aren't you a charmer?
I was trying to be helpful. Facts are facts.
Well, last time I checked, I was a woman, and I read bios... so either your "facts" need revision, or you just have no clue what you're talking about, and just assume things. Might be, why your profile isn't pulling in any girls.
Oh snap! High five.
Don't listen to this guy. Put in one great joke and make it slightly cheeky/sexual depending on what you're looking for. It'll definitely help you out, especially if you're decent looking.
Am a lady. I won’t swipe right without done sort of text, and I generally prefer if people take advantage of the space to give me an idea of their humor and interests. Otherwise it’s hard to tell who might be compatible or how to start a conversation!
I read it all, was hilarious
It is. But they won't read, or reply. I bet 10 euro, op won't get a date. Because it is what is, they aren't even looking for dates.
Hey man got my first match/coffee date with the new bio! She messaged first and quoted the international crime thing! Will let you know if the date goes through or goes further!
That's great. Let me correct you, if I may, you didn't get a date, you got a promise of a date.
Thanks man, will keep you updated if it happens and how it goes
Now I'm thinking of stealing the international crime thing. But will it be weird if it's true?
It is what is. Facts are facts. Even crazy ass good looking men can't get a date.
Take out the -A in ENFP the people that like MBTI a ton hate the website that give you -a/-t lol
Just praat die taal my bru, afrikaans is the sexiest language
I like it. I think it’s funny and I’d swipe right. My significant other had a similar bio and I swiped right 7 years ago, now we’re engaged. If this is who you are, keep it!
The international crimes got my attention. I'd definitely swipe right on this
I'm South African so the flag caught my attention! Love the bio
I love your bio! Sounds like you know what you want and expressed it in a super entertaining way. Carry on.
Hilarious and relatable. Would swipe right
Get rid of peaked in high school and you’ll be solid. You haven’t peaked yet :)
you should change it to "and there i was with bbq sauce all over my titties". Been in a solid relationship since Nov. 2020.
is this satire
That bad huh?:(
Sometimes I think it's a cultural thing. People from some countries don't seem to get/enjoy satire, sarcasm, self-deprecating humour (as I've discovered on here )
What country are you from? I’ve gotten some positive feedback, but a lot of “to long” or “cringe”. I’ll probably have to edit it a little
Must be the something in the air in the Southern Hemisphere that makes us take ourselves less seriously. I
do appreciate your support and feedback my dude! NZ politeness almost makes up for all the rugby trophies you’ve stolen from us. :p
I’d date you in a hot minute. Unless you’re young enough to be my child. LOL.
Personally, I'd shorten the length to half of that (He says unironically as his comment is longer than War and Peace). TLDR above EDIT:
I'd also change from a bulleted pros and cons to paragraphs. Combine all of your pros using complete sentences. It reads smoother and you could make each pro funnier than the last.
Do the same with the cons.
Here's my personal stance on personality test results:
Try to weave them into your narrative instead of just giving letters. Ie "Adventurous *extrovert* that will take you on 3-4..."
If you *do* decide to keep the pros and cons list maybe change the pros to a + sign instead of - sign.
So, I know this isn't fully universal, but there is sort of a bell-curve with good bio length. Not too short, not too long.
**TL:DR: Lose the self deprecation, shorten the bio, create more points of engagement not just words about who you are.**
Your humor is *way* too self-deprecating.
Let me FTFY!
"Smart, but only about useless X facts." Your X could be mundane but cute like "useless cat facts" or it could be "intriguing" enough to create a good conversation starter like "useless Mid-15th century warfare facts."
The point is to get them to engage with you, not just tell them who you are. It also gives you a chance to show more humor. Because you have to make your fact *useless.*
EX: Them: "Okay Mid-15th century warfare expert. What useless facts do you know?"
You: "Did you know in mid-15th century warfare they did not have cell phones?"
I think you'd attract the type of person you're looking for with this kind of banter.
For your cons, I would suggest starting it by saying "I take things entirely too seriously" and then follow that up with a ridiculous con.
Also, get rid of "will make you fat"
What are you trying to say here? You can cook, they will feel so comfortable with you they put on weight, or *I'll mess with your head so much you'll stress eat*?
See the connotation? In fact, I wouldn't list any cons.
You're essentially selling yourself. Even if you think it's funny, I don't think anything negative about yourself (regardless of being tongue and cheek) will land the way you want it to. You're your own hype-person.
If you *do* list a con it could be a one-liner. Like your mullet point.
"I had a magnificent mullet when I was younger. But, this really should be a pro."
Finally, always add a question somewhere. It creates another point of engagement, because not everyone is going to react to the same thing. You'll have more popular points too though.
The question should be tailored to what kind of person you're looking for.
For me, if I'm looking for a quirky question that will likely draw intelligent and/or creative people I would ask:
"What's the first thing you would do in a zombie apocalypse?"
"What's the first thing you would do in a... X" question is actually pretty good, universal, and avoids single word answers (for the most part).
In my above example, I can imagine people answering "I'd die" I'd probably respond with "Okay, now you're a zombie, who are you going to eat first?"
Keep the engagement up, if they like the conversation and your profile, you could segue into something like, "well I can't promise it will be as good as human brains, but I could take you for some Thai food."
Don't be vague when giving a suggestion. It's easier to say yes when you don't have to think of the plan. Or they'll rebuttal if they're interested, but have something else in mind.
Sorry, I'm rambling. Like any other social activity there is psychology involved, lol. Like any other "product" there is marketing involved too.
TL:DR. This is for the edit. I realized their bio actually needed a lot of work. OP is on the right track and I see what they are trying to do, but they can do it better with a few tips.
Holy shit. I’ll get back to you in a month or so once I’ve read through this edit.
^this guy tinders
My man just performed a whole dissection.
In my experience you're being too honest. Dont reveal your whole self in one sentence or there is nothing for a partner to learn about you.
Actually good call my dude. Thanks
This is funny, I especially like the smart, adventures, will make you fat and nerd parts. There's a little negative twang to a few of the others, I'd remove peaked and arguing with strangers in particular.
Thanks for the advice my dude!
OP please keep us updated
Like make a post of my updated bio? If the people want it I’m happy to!
Yeah and let us know if you have success with it!
You're trolling, right?
That bad? Sigh :/
Well although I myself am a big fan of adding information in brackets, kind of like an editors comment, in a bio they don't do much for you.
Not to mention that the whole thing reads a bit like "my best days are behind me, I'll put in some effort for the first week or two, but that'll be it, so don't expect much"
Do you not understand humour?
This is MUCH better than 'I own a house and have a PhD and all of my own teeth' *obligatory fishing photo*
I’m like 25 lmao, but fair enough. Thanks for the advice my dude
Well you say yourself that you peaked in highschool...
One of the cringey jokes I should remove I guess. I hope I didn’t really peak in high school :/
I'd keep the part with the working abroad - but the rest needs work done
Were you in Bastion?
Would definitely swipe right - especially for the adventures comment haha
Def swiping right
Total swipe right
"Will make you fat" is bad wording. A simple "loves cooking" or similar is less harsh and therefore less of a limiter.
Personally I don't like Meyers Briggs because it's inventer was a eugenicist.
Take out the enfp is pseudoscience bullshite...
Is like have an-ironically zodiac sign but for "intellectuals"
And is a big contrast with the rest of the profile...
Every nerd must know are not real....
Where the fuck can ⟟ find you? ⟟ would date you but I’m underage lol maybe someone like you
Is it just me or shouldnt you only talk about your positives when dating?
My experience has been that even when you experiment with Cons in a humorous way, it’s still a little too negative and this definitely affects the match rate. If you’re gonna do pro and con lists, always ensure the con list is actually positive stuff reframed in a funny non negative way.
🤞🤞🤞please have a sister, please have sister🤞🤞🤞🤞
Hey, you got a sister?
I would be matching. It shows just enough about you to be intriguing and leave me wanting to know more.
Do people actually utilize the personality test thing (first line)? I mean, it’s based off of self-assessment so…
I feel it is trying too hard.
I’m straight and I’d still swipe right
I freaking love this!!! I don’t have tinder, but I’d swipe right 🙃 or is it left? Lol
I like it!
Love it but the only thing is that I personally don’t know what ENFP - A means. Maybe I’m just dumb and other people do but if not maybe specify? I’d def swipe right bc you seem easy to talk to/funny based on these. Good job!!
I'd swipe right! Great bio. Witty & charming.
Hahaaa I would have def appreciated this in my tinder days. (I, too, had a high school mullet.) Maybe add one non-sarcastic interest or hobby? Something that proves you’re a nerd without saying “nerd”?
I’d try to match with you !
The mullet thing is a red flag for me. But that’s just because I live in ID and everyone and their dog is rocking those hideous things lol. You said you were in HS tho, so I’d let it slide.
You made me laugh. I’d swipe right!
Lose the bit about arguing with strangers on the internet. We all do it but it’s highly undesirable.
Honestly I think you sound like a catch
I'd date ya lmao
Trying too hard with every subject
I would remove the part about being pieces of shit, lazy is fine.
I would remove the mullet, will make you fat, maybe the peak in highschool and maybe the nerd part. Only cuz like another comment said - self roasting - less is more and the peaking in highschool might be seen as a red flag.
Do you have a fun Sarth Efrican eccent?
Yes and no. I teach English (paying for my masters) when I’m at home or hanging out with SA friends I’ve got an SA accent. When talking to Americans or foreigners my accent is a lot more British for some reason? I’ve had 1 coworkers (American) straight up tell me they don’t understand my English when I’ve got my normal accent on. The other 30-40 coworkers could, but can’t risk a student not getting it.
remove the "-A" from your MBTI.
Currently in SA now, probably out before the end of the year.
I would propose immediately. Can we be friends?
Edit: might have been overzealous in my top message. As a psychologist, I’m pretty anti MBTI, but it’s not a dealbreaker. I found everything else charming.
Why...why will you make people fat? Is this a threat or a warning or an offer?
It’s a promise.
Instead of smart with a negative twist, maybe put witty? (If that’s the type of smart you’re referring to.) As some others stated, I wouldn’t use too much self-deprecating humor.
If I were swiping, I’d also be more attracted to this bio without the “(I stay up all night arguing with internet strangers).” This gives me the impression that you’re an argumentative/petty person, and off of that alone I’d swipe left.
Otherwise, seems upbeat and fun. Good luck swiping, OP!
I love it. You sound awesome
Way too long.
Your bio is meant to trigger an emotion. One or two sentences long max. Playfully disqualify a group of girls. “Swipe left is you have an ankle tattoo”
Women love the mystery of discovering the man they’re talking to. That’s part of the adventure. By telling everything so obvious you’re making yourself less exciting.
Give a glimpse into your life with your pics (e.g. a sport you do, cool places you’ve traveled)
Cut out the personality test part, a little less self-deprecating humor, point 3 on adventures seems wordy
I don't like it, but I would still swipe right because there's nothing there to hate either and the majority of profiles have something to hate.
Probably not what you are going for, but I imagine it gets more results then just being liked by a minority.
You use the word exaggerated twice, kinda repetitive but otherwise cool. Nerd is kind of bland, it doesn't contribute or say much so you could either specify or leave it out.
South African already winning
Five stars! Change nothing.
I personally think that shorter bios are more effective, but it does give the reader a decent understanding of your humor and interests.
I really like it! The adventure part made me roll my eyes at first (everybody wants to go on “adventures”) but then you saved it with making it a funny. I’d swipe right!
Honestly, I would swipe right. Depends on what you're looking for. If it's hookups you're looking for, change the bio according to popular opinion. But if you're looking for a relationship, don't change it. Your bio is good and you will find people that like it for what it is, which I'm assuming is an apt representation of yourself. Even in the comments, there are people that like your bio for what it is, and there are those criticising the littlest things. It's obvious which kind you'd hit it off with
Way too long
This is epic. I love it! The only thing I would change is the topic of politics. For the most part that makes a lot of people cringe and gives them unpleasant emotions. Maybe you can tell her about that later if it continues.
Women absolutely love it when we're able to make fun of ourselves and we feel as if we do not need to "qualify ourselves", or build ourselves up. Bragging is an instant turnoff.
Your entire bio is a complete opposite of that. Which is what makes it fabulous. Please don't listen to all the haters. This is wonderful.
I like it! I like the honesty and lack of bullshit, and I’d want to at least chat a little bit to see who you really were 🙂
Get a pornhub subscription. You are never getting laid
Porn is free, unless you are so lonely that you pay for the very base level of human contact that OFs gets you.
My old profile ended up in a couple hookups but I’m looking for something more permanent now
Do people really have the patience to read all of that? If resumes are looked at for ~ 6.5 seconds, how long are tinder profiles viewed ?
No idea man, my previous profile was much shorter and got matches but felt like I needed a change
Well ultimately you're trying to attract the kind of person you're into, so lenght and humor should be based on your target audience. I, for instance, prefer reading profile bios, but the myers-Briggs type is a no go (it's an infuriating trend since people have no idea of it's -racist- origin).you can always give it a try like it is now and change it after a while, which is a good thing to do anyway, since tinder refreshes the pool of people that are shown your profile when you edit your bio or pictures
Damn good call on the refreshing thing. Will definitely have to go read up on they Myers Briggs thing
I dunno boet, looks okay to me.