Friends: how’s dating going? Me: *sends screenshot*

Friends: how’s dating going? Me: *sends screenshot*


Pre-nut clarity: “this sounds like a totally sane thing to send her” Post-nut: “what the fuck did i just do”


Unfortunately for him that nut is going to be solo


Hey hey, sometimes those are the best nuts.


Masturbation gang arise!


*all of reddit rises*


Then after the deed is done, *all of reddit takes a seat


All of reddit: what the fuck did I just do


Under-upvoted comment, take mine


No one gives me a better handy than myself


Sit on your hand till it falls asleep. It’s called “the stranger”.


Quick circle jerk position stat!


You need some commas


It's better if we just imagine where they are.


He obviously meant "Quick circle, jerk, position stat!"


Circle jerk team, assemble!


I was thinking ”Quick! Circle jerk position, stat!”


Can I send you a picture of my punctuation? Its kind of a turn on to think somebody else is looking at it.


Maybe there’s only one comma before stat


Did you known that approx. 63% of circle jerk participants do it standing in an upright position? This has been your quick circle jerk position stat for Friday 9/24/21!


Don't judge, he has a hard time to comma.


So what your saying is if I’m reading this between where the commas should be. We going to nut in the shape of a pentagram to summon a succubus


The devil pops up oh shit wrong circle


Devil just being kinky bro


Plot twist he joins the circle


It’s “stack”


Don’t hate masturbate


Don’t hate; masturbate




I don't hate it Comma sarcasm.




Back when I was a virgin my friend told me "the first time isn't as good as masturbating" he was sort of right


Depends really. Both me and my first girlfriend lost ours together. The nerves were kind of hard to deal with, then as soon as that happened I think we shagged all day every day for a week until we were both in pain. When the pain subsided we just started again. Ahhhh good times


You brought me back to similar times with my first girlfriend. Good times indeed lad. I thank you.


Any time :)


You brought me back to similar times when my gf gave me her virginity and then left me a week later to go start banging her ex -_-


Good times like I say :D


This is a pre-nut comment


He belongs in r/selfawarewolves because it’s too real to be like “I know you’ll hate this but can I do it anyway?”.


Say what you will, that was one of the more polite dick pic offers I've ever seen.


yeah, and as long as he didn't send it, is he really hurting anyone? Someone out there might actually like collecting dick picks, and this way he's not offending anyone that doesn't want to see his dick.


Yeah it's the unsolicited ones that people need to knock off. At least with this guy's approach, some girls out there might respond saying they don't want it but at least respect the passive approach.


Hell I bet you he fired a few off that week.


I collect dick pics


Your poor abused inbox…


That box is getting stuffed


I don't know, dick picks haven't the best reputation. He asked if he could send one, knowing the reputation it has he phrased it like this, and she said no. If he doesn't send it and the girl doesn't want to talk to him anymore and he doesn't force her, it's okay I guess. He has a kink, that's about it for me. At first, the internet said that sending dick pics is wrong and that they should ask before. He did. I don't see what's wrong. It's certainly weird and you can have your own judgement, but he's "following the protocols". I don't know though, never used dating apps. I wouldn't myself be asking to share dick pics if I did though because it's weird af.


Yeah. Here’s the thing tho... you kinda have to keep your kinks under wraps until you’ve built up some trust and connection with another person. Otherwise you’re just gonna get people running away and calling you weird.


Unless pushing people away by telling them my kinks is a kink in itself. Kinkception.


Is...is this me?


So, 1 year into relationship, I show my kink and they run away THEN? That's a waste of time.


I'd say at a minimum get married first.


I'd say at a minimum trap them in the basement first.


"Hey I know this is kind of an awkward thing to ask while your trapped in my basement, but do you mind if I slid a picture of my dick under the door for you to look at? It would really turn me on to know a hot girl like you is looking at a picture of my dick. Don't worry I don't need anything in return, and regardless of your choice I'll let you out tomorrow morning."


I agree you might be called weird. However, if he's asking, she said no and he's not punishing, I don't see it as wrong. Maybe he'll get a freaky girl that is into it I don't fucking know. Never done any dating app and I would probably never ask to send a dick pick like that. For me he's been quite respectful assuming he hasn't send it. Because you may find something gross, and arguably it was, doesn't mean he wasn't respectful somehow.


He didn't know, that's why he asked politely.


Why would you ask a complete stranger after saying hello? It's like asking a random woman you just met on tinder if you could come on her tits.... like... what the fuck?


> It's like asking a random woman you just met on tinder if you could come on her tits.... like... what the fuck? This sub is full of conversations of strangers that have just met offering/requesting to do sexual things to each other.


That is part of his kink, showing himself to strangers. At least he is not showing regardless of what the other person wants or not... He asked, to a stranger if he could show it. WEIRD? Yes! Disrespectful? No!


I’m just relieved he asked her, so many people would just make excuses to get Snapchat and send it anyway


"Pre-nut clarity?" I love the sentiment, but I'm not sure that exists.


Yeah more like pre-nut insanity


It's the *levels of clarity and our perception.* You're right too, it doesn't exist, but we don't know that at the time. The pre nut level of clarity is like trying to drive without letting your window defrost on a chilly morning. It's really not safe. The world is fuzzy. Pedestrians blend in with the scenery... *Someone may die.* But you're running late and you swear you can see *well enough.* We convince ourselves we CAN do this safely. Look, there a spot already clearing right in the middle. *I can just shift my body over and look through that!* Go baby go! The post nut level of clarity is a completely defrosted window... except now you can see that once "empty" road actually had a sweet old lady on it... It still does, but she's just in pieces. Also, *you came on her*. Accidentally. And you feel real real bad about it. You're not gonna mention this one to anyone... You vow to never do this again. *Maybe it's time to look into therapy for real.* But then... One day... It's all foggy again, and the clock is ticking. ^am ^a ^lady, ^dont ^worry ^it ^happens ^to ^us ^too


[5 minutes later](https://c.tenor.com/9Jr6xDuEXqIAAAAC/goofy-trial.gif)


only omega males regret after nut. be a alpha be always horny.


I read this in an alpha monkey tone. Congratulations


this made me real horny. gonna nut for this


I guess im the truest alpha there is, here for the chuckles and to make my reddit bros horny as shit.


Accurate AF😅


Good thing you don't have to send anything back!


Send him another dick back


I have a good friend who does just that. She’s looking for casual sex regularly but of course isn’t asking for dick pics but still gets them a lot. So she has a single picture of the mightiest shlong on her phone that every dick-pic-sender gets in return. It’s so funny how angry it makes them that someone just sends them the same thing they sent her, but bigger than theirs.


Imo anyone who sends unsolicited dick pics has a micropenis.


I hope no one decides to challenge that opinion, for your sake.


I’m not afraid to ruin my search history to be petty.


As a female I can tell you: no they don't. But they generally have very few brain cells. BUT this guy at least asked. I think that's very respectful and good. And I don't think asking is in any way bad at all as long as you respect the answer


My response is to do a quick Google search and send a decidedly unflattering nude back. The results are amazing


If you’re anything like me I don’t have high standards I wouldn’t do this she’d have to be the ugliest of the ugly


Oh too bad, this was my ex boyfriend’s>>> sends massive dick pic


Send him the same photo back


Power move


How considerate of him!


She should say 'OK, as long as I can send you a picture of my dick too'


It’s funny because as a woman, I would appreciate a picture that was taken in good taste. Maybe a small filter, add a little brightness I don’t know. But that NEVER happens. All we women get is a semi-erect pink snake over a bed that MIGHT have a sheet on it.


Now I'm just trying to imagine the most effort you could put into a dic pick. Amazing panoramic background of a secluded lake at the end of a dock, with a bottle of wine and two glasses in the foreground, as the sun sets.Then have my shlong just poke it's way into the middle of the photo, with a few filters on it for good measure.


I put googly eyes on my dick first and then use the face filters.




Just hit google and send back a dick twice the size and say “this other guy has been messaging and I think I’m going to go with him, thanks for trying though. Im sure there must be some girls who might be into that.”


That's hilarious


And here I can't even start a convo:-\


Did you try respectfully asking her if she would like to partake in a nice, tasteful dick pic?


Would madam like to partake in the exchange of photographs. Preferably containing the private and personal parts of the body? No? Would madam object to me sending her a photograph of my penis, do not fret, as you are not expected to return to favour.


No, I'm shy( ⚈̥̥̥̥̥́⌢⚈̥̥̥̥̥̀)


Just copy and paste. Makes it easier LOL


Are you following rules #1 and #2?


I have uninstalled tinder:'(


Have you tried installing again, swiping everything the correct direction and then crying?


I have lost the count of reinstalling it, mainly I don't have a nice photo for my profile, I think. As an average looking guy I must say tinder sucks but the ladies don't! ಥ‿ಥ


As an average looking dude with a lot going on against myself and a bunch of bad photos, I’d like to say - don’t lose hope. Eventually, I found a phenomenal girl (years ago I’d 100% say she’s way out of my league and wouldn’t even think of approaching her). And if I of all people can find a partner, you can too. It’s about quality not quantity.


Don't give me hopes..


I’ll give you as many hopes as I can, you’re not my boss. Btw. I even failed (couldn’t get an erection) my first nights with her. She still thought there’s something interesting enough about me (definitely not looks) to stick with me and now it is all good (I simply got too nervous initially). So if a girl that is better looking, more intelligent and more successful than me can still give ME a chance - there’s hope for all of you, you magnificent bastards.


>As an average looking guy At least you have some confidence.


what are rules 1 and 2?


1. Be attractive. 2. Don't be unattractive.


Rules 1 & 2? 🤔


1. Be attractive. 2. Don't be unattractive.


Whos gonna tell im


As long as you do better than the guy that replied to me last night, you'll be alright: His bio says "I don't message first, girls need to message me first", so I sent him a nice paragraph about his pictures, asking about his week, saying what I had been up to etc. His response? "hi" Cool thanks bro.


I can carry on convos if the other one co-operates with me, but I can't start one:'(


But I'm way more comfortable in face to face talks, social media isn't for me:-(


Well this man got some decency, others would just send it unconsented.


The bar is on the ground


And here I am trying to play limbo


Barbados Slim could pull it off


But he's a mahogany god


I guess it is. I get so positively surprised when they ask first that I usually thank them for being that considerate.


I think this is just a mismatch of intent on these apps. You're probably looking for people to date, and they're probably looking to get off. At least the guy in the OP is both upfront and polite about it. ¯\\(◉‿◉)/¯


Well... 1. I'm not specifically talking about guys on Tinder. You can't even send pictures on Tinder so then there is at least the extra step of "Add me on Snapchat and I'll show you pictures of my dog" before the unsolicited jerk-off videos. The true "surprises" are mostly in contexts where I'm not looking for anything at all. And 2. Sure, wanting to get off can be a *motivation* to flash your genitalia in another person's face without their consent, but it's hardly an excuse or something that makes it ok. If they ask first though, like that dude, and are willing to take no for an answer, then it's all good.


Agree. And platform matters. Like: "If they ask first though, like that dude, and are willing to take no for an answer, then it's all good." Is no longer all good if it is a guy asking you on the subway on the way to work. Tinder is a bit closer to okay, but I can see how some women wouldn't be cool with it.


FYI: you need double-slash for the left arm on reddit because of formatting. like this: \\\ the first one "escapes" the second one, so that it ignores formating. (i had to use 3 slashes for the example, so I'd get 2 of them to show up)


You know that movie Journey to the Centre of the Earth? They’re looking for the bar


And then some men start digging just to get under it


Since they’re talking on tinder (which doesn’t have photos) I assume they don’t have each other’s snaps so he would have to get that before sending anything


Yup! You can’t send pics on the tinder app, thank goodness


Should we praise him for not flashing her? That’s kind of the minimum requirement of being a good person, not forcing someone to look at your exposed sexual organ?


We shouldn't praise him for being a bare-minimum decent guy, but I don't think he really deserves any shame either. He's on Tinder to find people into that, and there's nothing wrong with having that turn on. No need to kink shame him. Edit: link to kink, damn autocorrect


I don’t think it’s wrong that op is disappointed by his question either though. He didn’t do anything morally wrong but it’s still tiring to see stuff like this.


Totally agreed. Different people looking for different things. Nothing wrong with that.


He asked for consent for something that he enjoys doing, this is really surface level relationship shit packaged into a scary dickpic.


Well it seems we are judging him for asking, which we also should not do.


Op is just sharing her disappointment at the drastic change in conversation. I don’t see what’s wrong with that.




no, no, no, no is this how low the bar is?


Listen I don't wanna shock you here, but some people enjoy sexuality and seing pictures of sexual organs. Some enjoy showing it. This isn't a low bar, this is just someone looking for something specific and being decent about it.


It’s wtf, but at least he asked before getting your number and sending one


Every time a guy asks for my snap really quickly, I always ask, "are you going to send me a pic of your dick...?" I'm not into it even though I'm down for casual hookups, it's just not appealing. Send me a pic of you shirtless, not your dick lol.


I mean, he's literally asking for consent so I'm not sure what the issue is. He's not even being a dick about it.


You're right he's not being a dick but its weird af. There's nothing in the convo indicating anything sexual let alone any indication that now would be the right time to send just a picture of a dick. You just need to read the situation.


It’s better than an unsolicited picture by a mile, but it’s definitely weird. Respect for asking and stuff, but still


Weird but I kinda approve. Might've been better if he put this information in his profile maybe? I dunno, he's communicating. I'd say yes probably, but I'm a bicurious male who feels like asking is a lot better than not, so my bar is in a different place.


Isn't the goal of this app primarily sex?


Yeah, but seeing a strangers penis isn’t at all pleasurable for the vast majority of women. I like seeing the penises of people I’m in love with. Strangers’ penises just make me feel disgust. I think part of why this exchange is so bizarre is because it is behaviour that would turn a majority of women off him completely, which isn’t typical male dating strategy unless they adhere to rules #1 and #2 perfectly. High risk low reward, unless he has loads of other matches waiting.


I mean, he had a goal, he made it clear, he was respectful. I used to have a tinder exclusively for hooking up and I always made that clear relatively quickly so neither of us was misunderstanding or wasting time. Seeing strange dick isn't fun, which is why he didn't FORCE her to see strange dick. Good commo honestly.


Cuz it’s weird? Like hey lemme open by asking to share a dick pic with a stranger


Least he asked. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Had a guy ask me the other day, then even after I said no, he sent one. 🙄


Why even ask at that point, prolly only did it to seem like a good guy if you wanted it 😬


Honestly!! He literally even said "Okay" after I said no, what was the point??


He was hoping if you saw how big it was you'd sleep with him? Was it big?




Weirdly on Imgur I got guys asking and if I tell them no, nothing. If I say sure, I get them. Which I’m fine with. My profile there says don’t random dick pic me, ask first. Most are… not impressive. It’s like they took them on a potato. So I always just recommend camera upgrades. Or less creepy things to do. I guess I try and winglady them? Make it less terrible for other women who wanna see them.


Hey, former correctional officer here that worked alongside the real police. That would qualify in the legal definition as sexual harassment or something similar. You can press charges for that, your consent was violated.


It was through snapchat and I was in shock so I just blocked and reported. Don't think there's anything I can do about that :(


Good luck. I've had a guy send me photos of his dick, sex me videos of him having sex with other women, call my job and lie to try to get me fired, comment on my social media over and over again that I'm ugly and a slut and whatever... He texts me from random numbers every few months... This has been going on for over a year. No one cares. No one does anything about it.


You can do something about it, pretend like youre suddenly interested, go on a date, seduce him..... Look deeply into his eyes then bite his dick clean off!


Gotta do three backslashes on the left arm to get the guy to be correct: ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯


bro that’s his right arm


If this is the bar we set, then we are doing poorly.


Remember kids to always to ask consent before doing anything


To be fair, the guy was straight forward and honest about it. He asked ahead of time and was pretty straight up about why. People are into different things. It doesn't strike me as any worse than someone asking forwardly if someone wants to have sex. Sure, you may very well say no but I'm not sure there's anything inherently wrong in asking. I think we can all agree it beats a random dick pic out of nowhere. This of course can all change depending on how well he takes the no. EDIT: Not sure how I feel about me having such a highly upvoted comment defending someone wanting to send sick pics on tinder but hey what can ya do.


I agree, if she says no and he respects it, in my opinion it would be a respectful interaction between two adults on a dating site.


Wanna see my dick?


As long as I don't have to send anything back.


Rip DMs


(Bugs bunny saying no meme)


I think the big thing you're missing here is intention and context. Had their conversation been heated and sexual, this might have been an appropriate thing to ask. But it seems like it was asked while just casually texting. Could you imagine being in a speed dating situation irl and a guy just casually asks if you'd like to see his dick? Asking is always great! But asking while having a conversation about yourselves (for example) is inappropriate and definitely odd. When a stranger that you have no relationship with does that, it can feel like you're no longer a person they're getting to know but now just a "thing" to get them off. Feels yuck.


I've never in my life sent a dick pic to anyone. But oddly enough, i've been asked for one on more than one occasion. So apparently some girls like them, we just need those people to find each other.


I actually matched with a girl a few months ago, who seemed pretty cool and was hitting it off pretty well but she kept asking for dick pics but I didn't want to send any without getting pics of her. For a minute I thought it might be a catfish but based on a handful of things I'm pretty sure it wasn't. After a few days I unmatched her because she wouldn't stop asking for dick pics.


You missed prime "see it in person" opportunity


You should have sent one that was clearly of a different race to you.


Probs gonna blackmail you


Or she's a size queen and wanted to know if she'd be wasting her time in person


The only random dick pics I've ever sent are random pictures of Richard Nixon to my girlfriend. I've sent some of the other kind but only when asked


Yeah, I've been asked for nudes.


Yeah if you're sexting back and forth it's normal to send pics of different parts of your body. Just don't send them out of the blue.


Hope someone tells him r/dickpics4freedom exists. There's a subreddit for just about every kink.


I don’t think he wants other men looking at it. Kind of defeats the whole point of asking women.


The way he asked so politely and transparently, it really confuses me


Why does it confuse you?


To me, this is less confusing then if someone sends them out of the blue.


“I sent this bitch a picture of my dick” 🎶


I believe it's "bitch"


"I sent this girl a picture of my bitch" 🤔


I mean... It IS weird but at least he asked..


Whenever I receive a dick pick I have a default picture of a shit I took once. No dick can compare to the size of that monster dookie. 🤣


I always wondered why some guys compulsively share dick pics with total strangers, and this guy kind of articulated that. This was sort of enlightening albeit in a strange and sad kind of way...


That guy has a lot more confidence then I do




At least he shoots straight.


How do u know his dick not bent?


Bent dick or not he’s honest and straightforward


And here I am thinking the girl that I matched with that had a Flat Earther sticker on a water bottle was bad. Online dating is doomed.


Send him one back


This is the real difference between the sexes. Men - happy to receive pussy pictures, although it never happens. Women - dont like dick pics, receive a ton of them.


Not true, I know women who like to look.


Don't kink shame, not fair


It’s actually a really common turn-on for guys. But Dude, ya gotta read the room before you pop that question on her….


Ok people get mad at unsolicited dick pics and then a guy asks if it’s ok and that’s weird! ya just can’t win Also this is tinder … what we expecting out here other than sexual content or intent JS


if he respects the no, and doesn't send you a dick pick- i don't see a problem. Unsolicited dick pics is where the problem's at imo.


Someone needs to link that hilarious skit where the super nice ugly guy approaches a girl and gets rejected, then a hot guy tries and says a bunch of creepy shit and she wants to go home with him. Then the ugly guy tries again and gets maced. Any time there's a post like this I wish a bot would post that video


Why the dick pic first? There are so many other options of the human body.