T O P

Friend sent me this from Facebook dating, seems like size does matter

Friend sent me this from Facebook dating, seems like size does matter

pleasantgumbo

What is she looking for a fucking 9 by 8???wait, what if he’s talking inches and she’s talking centimeters 😖


MentallyLatent

She wants a bunch of 2x4s to build a house


omaewamu_shinderu

Girl all on that wood shortage


Thomas-The-Tutor

2 x 6 is code where I live.


wHUT_fun

2 x 4 should be good for interior walls though. 😉


Thomas-The-Tutor

Her* interior walls. 😂


Welcometochicago8

Unless it’s drywall


KevinTheSeaPickle

Code shmode


vithop236

And then she ripped thyself asunder.


thejayroh

She thinks he is lying.


benry007

Then why ask?


Error_Empty

🌈 Attention seeking 🌈


Ethvangelical

Yep. She wasn't interested in the first place. Now she's on r/Tinder and making fun of OP.


ACutieWithAfroPuffs

It's like with height, take off 3-4 inches and you've got the real thing.


tecnoberryx

Wait wait wait im 5'6 are you telling me a person sees that then assumes i am 5'2?


Hashmob____________

Well that’s not true. Most guys tell there height exact. Or just round up an inch, especially if there like 5’9.5 they’ll just say 5’10


Klutzy-Bowl2901

I’m 5’11 3/4. Should I tell them I’m 6ft?


Hashmob____________

That’s your decision but I would say just say 6’


Klutzy-Bowl2901

I’m 6ft from now on


Streetlamp_NA

You fucking made it man!! Enjoy life up there in the big leagues!


IAmCalhoun

Yea I’m 5’9”. I tell women I’m 5’9”. I have maybe said 5’10” in boots, but I’m not telling a woman I’m 6’1”.


Disrupter52

If they can't handle you at your 5'9", they don't deserve you at your 6'1"


[deleted]

She will be most disappointed if she's 5'0. Has to date men over 6' so she can feel delicate and feminine. *bitter tall lady tears*


radioactivebaby

I find a good ol’ fashioned arm wrestle does wonders to restore one’s sense of feminine fragility XD


kylefofyle

Tell them you’re 6’1, you deserve it.


IAmCalhoun

I tell them I had 6’1” aspirations with a 5’9” reality.


kingofgondor1992

Hmmm I'm 6'4, literally measured by the doctor again today. I meet sooooo many people who think I'm like 6'6... cos they're definitely 6'2... in reality, they're usually between 5'10 and 6'1. Basically, I hear a lot of guys claim to be at least 2 or 3 inches taller than they are.


Pat_McGroinz

Guys always ask me how tall I am and I say 6’2 and they like no ways you’re definitely 6’4 at least cuz I’m 6. I just look down on them like a father looks at his son and say “you must be right”


YOU_WANT_ANTS

Fight back against these people by telling everyone your 6'1 I'm 6'5 but regularly tell people I'm "just over 6 foot"


Lost_Shopping_2394

This has to be a troll…


IrregularrAF

Came here to say exactly this. Hookup culture can make specific expectations. But this goes too far. Lol


Amateurelite_ACCTG

I’ve definitely had these questions before. It’s uncommon, but does happen. I just tell them I’m not interested and move on.


JumbledEpithets

It isn't the questions that are being doubted. It's the measurements she's demanding, girth specifically.


Amateurelite_ACCTG

Oh, yeah, straight up you can list soda can dimensions and I’m sure most women wouldn’t notice. It doesn’t help that guys over estimate their size, too.


Lego_Kode

Bruh, you gotta know your size. *ESPECIALLY* Girth, as that's what condom sizes are most dictated by. If it's 6-7" long most average condoms will fit. But if it's 6"+ girth and 5" long you're still gonna have to get magnums or larger. Gentlemen, measure your willy with care.


_ThatSynGirl_

Gently measure the william


NotAw3eb

Also if your like 7+ in length you have to be mind of slamming the shit out of their cervix which can cause allot if pain, unless they like it then go straight ahead and cancel their plans of walking for the next few hours.


LiveWildBeSmart

But I think the cervix can move up into the body a few inches during extreme arousal and with a little bit of stretching No. 7 on the following article [article on healthline.com](https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/cervix-penetration)


Hyde-ey

I agree.


thenaturalwitch

A catfish troll


hisnameisbrock

It’s also karma farming. Men being shamed for height or dick size is incel spaghetti and gets mad upvotes.


fkthlemons

One is a troll and one is a liar, take your guess


itamar11442

Does that mean she scientifically did three experiments with dildos one experiment with constant length and changing girth, another which is the opposite and one to normalize the data


Waveshop222

Lololol yess


InsertAmazinUsername

you can check both variables at the same time. you could feel it being too girthy no matter what the length is


AnotherTakenUsername

Who would've thot


Floundur

Dick size? Coke can “Too small” lmao what


Pennywise626

"Only 2 liter bottle sized dicks swipe right"


darkslide3000

Best I can do is 2 liter bottle screwcap... ^(^^^^Taking ^^^^both ^^^^girth ^^^^and ^^^^length ^^^^here!)


Thisiscliff

She’s Basically looking for a can of Pringles but in shlong form


HardcorePizza

Speaking of Pringles, don't they completely lack flavor nowadays? I remember the cheese ones would be completely orange and covered in cheese flavored powder but now they're just plain Pringles with a sprinkle of cheese dust. Smh


-Lloyd-Braun-

This is why it pays to have your fav Pringles flavor be original. Just salt babay


throwaway174792

According to calcsd.com, 7"x6" is larger than what 99.8% of men have. She clearly has no idea about sizes


knobledean88

I think the average dick size of a male now days is like 5' lol she watch too much porn.


flabbytabby12

The average these days is a 5 foot long schlong?? RIP


PantsDownBootyUp

Whenever i think about something slightly erotic, my blood leaves every important Part of my body and i lose concious. Life is pain with the 5 foot schlong :(


No_Load_7183

Not if you're into pole vaulting


Icomefromalandupover

The long schlong jump


Ajoku1234

The Schlong jump.


TStrippleX

Ohhhh Schlong Johnson


auntyjames

Why I eyes ya


schiffb558

That video was amazing, I think it was a 42 inch


manndolin

Averages are problematic. See, most of us have around 5 inches, but 6 Million Mike has a 6 Million Mile Monster Donger which eclipses Earth and Heaven to skew the average dick size to 5 feet.


tgg12321

Jörmungshlongr


Otaku11510

I appreciate this way more than what I should lol


tgg12321

Thank you lmao as I wrote it I'm like "This'll be my first reddit gold. It's a lock."


PECOSbravo

I hear his boners even have two confirmed kills


rorshoc

The second one was collateral damage


RotorMonkey89

In my head I read that as 6 Million Mile Mongster Dongster but I like it like that


spyz66

monster dongster fits just fine... No pun intended.


walking_calzone

Penis Georg


BroccoliRobCornell

So what’s the modal dick size then?


VelikiBratworst

Thanks for the laugh kind stranger


lotsofarts

RIP'd... in half.


Godless_Fuck

> 5 foot long schlong?? Noooo... Girth, so 5 feet in circumference.


Naryzhud

Hung like a pizza


walkinmywoods

She does say she uses dildos and measures size. So clearly she's an expert on dick. Though her standards are pretty unrealistic


VRWARNING

This seems like some of the grossest self-indulgence, I'd rather date a crackhead


boings

Hey how big is your Crack pipe?


Odin_Christ_

5.5" in the US, thank God. Men like giant dongs to show to other men, but my cervix likes them average. She doesn't enjoy getting SWATted when she wants male intimate attention.


robomagician

I confessed before I started getting sexual with one woman that I was only slightly above average. She just looked at me funny and said, “do you think I want my cervix bleeding? Whatever you have is fine because I like you as a person. “ It made me feel better about myself and what it means to be with a non-nincompoop. Then I see the image here.


ServantOvBaphomet

>She just looked at me funny and said, “do you think I want my cervix bleeding? Cut my cooch into pieces I've reached my last resort Suffocation No queefing Don't give a fuck if I cut my cervix, bleeding


SirFadakar

That feel when you made the cut. 😌


Odin_Christ_

Most guys heave a sigh of relief when they find out tons of girls don't want or need donkey dicks.


WhoSweg

Yeah but human insecurity will say “yeah but she’s just saying that”. Which is really sad to know.


wkdzel

Really? well shit, what am I gonna do with this bag of donkey dick dildos I've been collecting over the years?


Destronin

Some guys have large penises. Some girls have large vaginas.


MetalBeardKing

When Roseanne divorced Tom Arnold she said he had a 3 penis …… when asked to comment ….”yeah but a 747 looks small when it lands in the Grand Canyon “ 💀💀💀


sweYoda

https://youtu.be/I-vs8fwgwk0


PeachyTarheel

Umm... ' is foot '' is inches... But maybe you meant ' lol...idk ..I'm a girl, 😂


Black--Snow

Nope can confirm, all AMAB people actually only have one leg, the other leg is a folded penis.


TopTittyBardown

Probably has been lied to about sizes in the past and has a skewed idea of what 7 inches is. My ex was super surprised when I told her I was 6 inches and thought I was like 8+ since she’d had smaller than me before that dudes claimed were 7. Also said when she’d had bigger than mine in the past it was usually painful since it’d constantly hit her cervix and that for most girls she knew around 5.5-6 was the magic number that got plenty deep enough without causing actual pain. This girl likely had some dude with a below average dick lie and tell her it was 7 so now that’s what she thinks a 7 inch dick is when this guy is actually telling her the truth


19adam92

When you push the ruler deeper against your stomach you can reach a higher number, that’s why I tell girls mine is 3.5 inches 💪🏼


TheLordofAskReddit

Oh dude your supposed to measure from your asshole. You’re a solid 4” no doubt


19adam92

🤞🏼 that’s going on my tinder profile


drinks_rootbeer

You're supposed to do bone-pressed as a measurement, that's how all studies measure since it gives the most consistent results, mitigating differences in fat tissue in the lower stomach area.


mynameisdamn

I just stand up and measure from the floor, bout 3.5 too


Sapiendoggo

Yep I've been with a girl that was going on and on about how big I was and saying it was like 8 inches and big as a can. Like honey it's 6 and the size of a egg roll its a little above average but I'm no pornstar.


TwoTailedFox

Either she's really easily impressed or this was her version of talking dirty.


Sapiendoggo

Na she just had no concept of what measurements were, most women I've met have issues with measuring even if it's meant to be negative. Like I've heard my buddies exes say they were huge even after a break up insisting that 5 was too small bfor them ut I know for a fact they are 5 and some change.


TwoTailedFox

On a related note, there are some men out there with gargantuan weiners, and they report that it's incredibly difficult to get into a sexual relationship, because there is apparently such as thing as *too big*.


Sapiendoggo

There definitely is, some women have naturally smaller or less elastic vaginas due to illness and such. I've been with someone with one that was naturally smaller and again I'm not huge but not average and we struggled to make it happen comfortably. I regularly get near or make contact with my partners cervix when the position is right so I'd hate to see how long dick Johnson manages. From her she says that I'm honestly bordering on too big because of the latter, if I ever actually hit her cervix fun time is immediately over.


TwoTailedFox

So, in other words, definitely the wrong time to say "Ah, at your cervix, Madam"?


sdfgh23456

There's an old joke about women having a hard time backing vehicles up because they've been constantly lied to about what 8 inches looks like


East_Project_1513

But she measures her dildos! 😳


bboywhitey

Same thing happens with height. I’m 6’0” and a ton of women think I’m like 6’2” or 6’3” because 5’10” dudes claim to be 6’.


TopTittyBardown

Funnily enough I also happen to be 6’0 on the dot and have the exact same thing happen all the time. Girls always think I’m lying when I say that before they meet me since lots of guys round up to 6’0 and then after meeting me say I must actually be 6’2 since I’m taller than other “6 foot tall” people they know


N3ptuneflyer

Yeah I am 6'4 and most people think "Yeah that's tall" until they see me in person and it's like holy shit you are tall. Every time I see people after a while I get hit with "you've grown since the last time I saw you". Nope, I'm the same height since I was 18.


Dismal_Struggle_6424

That's about the cutoff most people see as "*Jesus christ* you're tall!" My siblings and I are all tall. My sister's 6' even, and the males are all a bit taller. One brother is 6'7", and even though it's just a few inches over the rest of us, he looks like a fucking giant.


Derkus19

What ever happened to girls pulling out the ‘ol ruler and measuring your dick themselves?


TopTittyBardown

I actually had her do this to prove I was 6” and that she’d been lied to in the past and not 8” like she thought I was lol. No dudes are gonna be able to lie to her about that shit anymore


RuntBananaforScale2

The old joke is "that's why you never have a woman measure cabinets." Lol


krishna_rolly

As a 5.5-6 I feel happy to hear that this is good enough lol


TopTittyBardown

She described that size as “boyfriend dick.” Said she’d had bigger guys in the past and was fun to have when hooking up sometimes when she was single but prefers nothing bigger than 6” if it’s somebody she’s in a relationship with and having sex with nearly every day. Big enough to get the job done and feel good but not too big that she’d constantly be sore apparently lol


sdfgh23456

I'm right at 6, and it's been just fine for all of my partners. Admittedly not that many since I'd only had sex with one woman until a little over a year ago, but still 7 out of 7. And I also have several close female friends who've talked about unpleasant experiences with bigger dicks


Roy-van-der-Lee

Yup, mine is about 6,5 and I've had girls ask me if I lied about my size. I told them it's probably the other guys they've been with that have been lying. A scary fact, the average vagina about 5,5 deep before the cervixmouth begins, so be careful when putting it all the way in, hitting her cervix is not going to feel nice


CMRattray2020

Maybe it was too big


TheHunterZolomon

Yeah she has no fucking idea what she’s talking about. 7 is pretty long and fairly rare, and 6 inch girth is probably 1/1000+, so that’s huge. She probably wouldn’t even be able to take that.


jddigitalchaos

Maybe she thinks that its too big.


Here-Is-TheEnd

So women like long skinny penises..*taking notes*


ball_armor

It’s ya boi skinny penis


memberofanelitesquad

Feel like I’ve been waiting for this comment all my life


TheHunterZolomon

I mean, you’re technically possibly correct, she says length is lacking. She knows what girth she likes apparently and doesn’t say either way if what he said is too big or small just that it wouldn’t work.


Taytortots33

Right. My ex was bigger than that and it hurt like a mother fucker. I don't want to deal with something that big again


TheHunterZolomon

Yeah that’s the thing, at that size I’m sure it’s physically possible, but it probably hurts a ton. A vagina can stretch only so much. If it is the case she’s only able to be pleasured by that though, that’s like 3 guys per 1000 so very very difficult to find, which is another different problem for her and just unlucky.


Kevinjw16

Do it Quill, I can take it


phx_bronco

Yeah. Every dude on here grabbing a measuring tape right now haha.


SWOOP1R

Remember to measure from the anus to tip.


massivebumwizard

That is the last piece of advice my grandfather gave me with his dying breath.


xme_anymore

Was she just trying to make someone feel bad for fun?


Calebrox124

I just typed that URL in and got sent to a bloatware site


Peppered__

7 is lacking?!? What does she fuck, horses?!


Overkill5812

Yes


Peppered__

💀💀💀💀


[deleted]

[удалено]


Surfing_sandwich

This has to be a mix up of units or something. She can’t seriously say that 7” is “lacking”. Wtf


LivingNightmare12

So this chick wants to be split in half apparetly


heythisisbrandon

People have their preferences.


wapf

Her preferences are very very unrealistic but she is allowed to have them I suppose


djlawson1000

Could this be a metric vs imperial mix up? Cause come on lady.


JubJub128

7 cm is roughly 2.75 in. idk about you, but 2.75 in is a little worse than ‘kinda lacking’ this woman is just nuts, or has a giant vagina that requires a giant dick


GonzoRouge

That pfp paired with this post is like seeing the stars align


JubJub128

hahaha didnt even think about that, yeah i love that album


UsedJuggernaut

I think she just can't measure properly. My ex told people I was a solid 9 or 10 inches, I'm pretty sure I'm like 6 maybe? I haven't measured in a few years because I cant be bothered too.


djlawson1000

Well I imagine the difference between 10 and 6 should be relatively easy for people to comprehend I guess


bobsagetsville

Does she want an elephant wang? Like holy fuck her dildo collection must be those mountainous things you see on weird porn cams.


alpesm

They are not dildos, that are road cones!


sirblemsby

Shawty wants that 7x7 cube


[deleted]

You mean 7x7x7


Its_soup_time

The third 7 is for ball volume


popeyesbeansandrice

Why answer? If a guy asks my bra size, I don’t answer. Dudes! Stop fucking answering dick size questions.


PsykopathPapii

This is the way


UnluckyDrink

Desperation


anto2554

Because then I'm looking at the reflection of my lonely face on my black phone screen. We can't all just find someone else


[deleted]

Easy for you to say. The moment you have an issue you just stop messaging and move on to the next guy of the double digit matches you had that day. Most guys only get like one or two matches a week, tops. The supply/demand is completely off.


theotheronenotme

6 inch girth is like 0.5 percent of men. She doesn’t know shit.


Drum_harder

If she thinks 7 and 6 is small then her pussy is so large it would work as a parachute


Afraid-Size-3616

Maybe she’s a metric girl? Either way she’s rude as hell


_Bender_B_Rodriguez_

I'm trying to think of a better way to find out someone's dick size so you can decide if you want to fuck them and this is about as straightforward and non-time-wastey a way as I can think of. The only unnecessary part was "kind of lacking there" which is deffo rude. But damn, so much better than getting blue balled for not having a big enough dick, lol.


Inthemiddle96

Nah just girl inches. She’s had no idea how big 7 inches long is or how think 6 inches is


[deleted]

She mentioned measuring her dildo so I think she knows exactly the size she wants.


Inthemiddle96

Interesting. Hope she really likes her dildo cause she’s going to have a real tough time finding something bigger


Amazing_Resolve_365

I am sure they can make bigger dildos.


blueskybar0n

Dildo length when you buy them is mentioned as total length including balls and sucker - insertible length is only sometimes mentioned. This adds up to two inches.


ImmoralJester

Excuse you but if you HAVEN'T been shoving the balls in as well you have been wasting your time.


stevethebayesian

https://youtu.be/kWR4X_JsgMw


OddEscape2295

Like throwing a hot dog down a hallway


XxRocky88xX

“How large is your dick?” “Larger than 95% of dicks” “Not big enough too bad”


ueberyellow

7 is lacking? What the fuck is she shoving up her?


AmbitionSpecialist

Sounds like she needs to get off dating sites, buy whatever size dildo is her preference, and go fuck herself.


boringhoustonboy

She got that deep dish pussy


wolferr89

When you are used to a 13 inch dildo attached to a goddamn hammer drill, no penis on god's green earth would be enough for you, lady.


Yeetmeisterz

Lol I found out recently that with dildos, the measurements also include the balls. So when you have an 11 inch dildo, that should end up with 9 usable inches, MAX So yeah, must be why she thinks 7 is lacking


EarthAD79

Especially if the drill brand is Dewalt good lord. Ryobi's are easy going.


Environmental_Mix611

How 'bout Bosch, professional series?


pleasantgumbo

This is so shallow- @ the chick


LordPimpernel

Does she get complaints about echoes in that cavern?


Rasalom

Why did you say it twice?


Honorous_Jeph

Holy shit lol this cracked me up


gh0u1

"Jeeze you gotta big pussy! Jeeze you gotta big pussy!" "Why'd you say it twice?" "I didn't"


Maephia

Poor girl is single because men keep falling in her gaping hole of a vagina.


Defiant_Wishbone_271

I always tie a 2x4 on a rope around my waist. That is the only definition of safe sex here...


jzonum24

Reception is okay, I have 5 bars in here. Send help.


soldierof239

If a 6 inch girth doesn’t work it’s because she has a cheerio for a vagina and doesn’t want the pain or it’s minivan slider entrance hole and you don’t want it to burn when you pee tomorrow.


nickwburd

Even a Boeing-747 looks small in the Grand Canyon


dj12inches

From now on dick size will be measured in cubic inches.


ODUMonarch

This bitch couldn't tell you what 12 inches was if she was holding a fucking ruler.


automotive201720

Pussy must look like a wizards sleeve


Spizzmatic

"You're a Harry wizard!"


MrKazador

Vary nice


everyones_cool_dad

Kinda lacking?? The fuck?


blueskybar0n

Only reason it wouldn't work is because it's too big lol


Loose-Horse-913

She should date a Horse, she is in her hoe phase


Chickn_nooblesoup

I once match with this girl who instantly asked me if I was circumcised… I proceeded to tell her I was, and she unmatched w/ me lol.


OtherDalfite

To be fair, us uncircumcised guys in America have to grow up with a lot of fucking stigma and jokes made about us. Can't even speak out against it because you're instantly part of the group if you defend it. Growing up ashamed of your perfectly fine dick because you didn't get a surgery when you were a baby does shit to your head.


Aieyr

This goes both ways. Where i sympathize with the uncircumcised stigmas that groups of men have dealt with, flipping the script and shitting on men who are circumcised isn't a valid way to handle it either. Remember that circumcised or not, it's a choice that -NONE- of us made for ourselves at birth.


Menischris

Lmfao women actually have no concept of how big penises are. It’s sad the amount of body shaming men receive when they are honest about it.


TheHunterZolomon

A lot of the phenomenon of “girl inches” are based on guys lying about their size which skews perceptions and estimates. Guys who are 6” long claiming 8, 7” to 9”, etc, makes it seem like 10” are possible and somewhat common. It’s only when the girl actually meets up with one of these guys who is 8” and doesn’t lie that the perception is mostly corrected, but 8” is in the highest percentile (like 1/10,000) so that’s not common and they’re stuck with the false perceptions they’ve been led to believe.


HuckleberryThis2012

She wants that porno wiener. Curious that she can’t keep the guys who she’s willing to bang tho.


KakarotMaag

7x6 is legitimately a porn dick though.