T O P

I’ve gotten a surprisingly high amount of matches with this

I’ve gotten a surprisingly high amount of matches with this

BulliesRPeople2

Imagine if someone matches with this pic and then says "ew gross" when they see the real you lmao


matteocrayo

Imagine?


NateBearly

I don't have to imagine... \*loads up 3d modeling software\*


nomadruby7

I had a great time on tinder when I pretended to be piglet. Then they banned me lol.


matteocrayo

Oh bother


dancin-weasel

Oh d-d-d-dear


RelativeJournalist24

Lmao


Salt_Activity2659

How can they do this? Disrespect for choices...


TheArchType

Dude, they know what a fucking Zygon is. A chance to fuck literally anyone in the world? Shit I’d do it.


matteocrayo

If they cant accept me at my 30 holes they don’t deserve me for the 1-3 they want.


Appropriate-Wave-662

This post and the comments made my day. 🤣


Fireflykid1

Yeah, but what about the venom sacks in the tongue


FeedMePizzaPlease

Finally someone asks the real question


matteocrayo

My budget allocation towards dental dams is pretty high.


explosivve

I could be way of base but given your responses I'm not sure if YOU actually know what a zygon is.


qdolobp

That’s a solid dick pic man, how’d you get that angle? I can never seem to get the tentacle-holes to show in the lighting


shakespears_ghost

r/nocontext


matteocrayo

The trick is to shave


MikalM

Sense of humour is one of the biggest attractions, so you’re definitely doing that right.


matteocrayo

Hey im single, not easy. Introduce yourself before buttering me up, stud.


tka482

This is aspie humor tho. Super cringe and I'd bet money op is lying about the matches


MikalM

Do you honestly think there are no matches on tinder who share his sense of humour?


Thomas-The-Tutor

Exactly!! My grandpa always said there’s a lid for every pot. It’s so true!! Even undatable people in your eyes will find someone.


matteocrayo

Was your grandfather a chef?


Thomas-The-Tutor

No, but if he was, he’d take the cake. 😂


tka482

Far and few between.


Josselin17

what's wrong with aspie humor ?


tka482

Nothing, it's just cringe.


Josselin17

what's cringe with it and how would you define aspie humor ? also if you're using it as a slur please don't


Eternity_Incarnate

What are you trying to match with, a Weeping Angel?


rugbat

Nah. Go for the daleks. Out of their machines, so you can enjoy the embrace of their tentacles.


_bapt

Like tentacles? Go for the Oods. They are basically domestics that serve you.


Gunnman369

I dated a Silence once... I think.


danisnotdrowning

I'd swipe right just for the doctor who reference


SovietPikl

The mattt line is my favorite part, that shit's funny as hell


selfsearched

Ok Matt short for Mattt is hilarious


PurelyItalian

Women are into some freaky stuff nowadays


Thomas-The-Tutor

And they weren’t before?


SentientDeskLamp

A long time ago I had a profile of a cheesy gordita crunch from taco bell, and the bio read "You know you want me in your mouth". The amount of matches I got was endless


lonerstoner1991

Yikes you should see a doctor, I'd recommend one but I'm not sure WHO?


lurking1234566

Ahh world health organisation?


Proctifer

I mean, they're great kissers from what I hear.


_bapt

As long as they take the Queen's body. Otherwise, there's no proof


[deleted]

See? This is perfection with the balance of humor and not-too-serious, and you didn't have to mention your junk or sex. Nicely done, I like what you did. I hope you get mad laid.


matteocrayo

Getting laid? Sorry Im saving my virginity for divorce


PurelyItalian

I feel like a lot of people try too hard on dating apps. I go in with the “don’t give a fuck” approach and am almost always upfront with my dry humor, and if the conversation doesn’t feel like i’m talking to a brick wall then great.


Bobertheelz

Lol


SugarPlumFarie

Cum for the Doctor Who reference, stay for the poisonous tongue sacs.


whatisthestars

Every comment OP has made on this thread has me rolling


Davros-123

How was kissing David Tennant when you were disguised as the queen?


backyardstar

I don’t know why, but the funniest thing among many funny things in this profile is “Lifeguard”


harsothehero

I once had a long conversation on tinder role playing as a bridge troll. Good times


Aenal_Spore

That's hilarious


beardownboi

Is that the outfit doja cat wore at the vmas the other night?


popeyesbeansandrice

I’d totally swipe right.


Eat_A_Jerk_Pal

I would 100% swipe right, this is pure hilarity!


hand-spun

Gotta say I wish had screen shots of my good friend's tinder profile. We met through tinder, never met in person, live in completely different states, have each dated other people, but talk regularly. His profile on vacation was a "joke" profile that I'm 99% certain he and his buddy set up for shits and giggles... he won't admit it, but hey it is what it is. 3 years now we have been friends. I admire a good sense of humor.


hugeshanus

Can i steal this?


Daiki_Masaki

Well that's depressing


Vast_Pressure1979

What a stud❤️


Cheekers1989

I would love to see someone pull off this level of make-up, prosthetics and cosplay on the first date. I would go.


Vaikiss

hey mattt (short fror mattt)


Artistic-Ear-7096

Yeah, nothing better than joke profiles. They're always super hilarious 🙄


DocHHH

You look like either the base form or the evolved form of **The Long One** from *Slither.*


Tots2Hots

Pizza the Hutt!


SammiTheBull

No you havent


aneth0r

haven't seen this Bad Dragon before


ReelSteele27

“Short for mattt” 😂 I’m stealing that


ApatheticHedonist

Horrifying live action Patrick?


_bapt

Close but no cigare. Ziggon


Saeaj04

Close but no cigar. Zygon


Zeacco

"Matt (short for mattt)" that was so funny to me lmao


thatwasanillegalknee

"im matt, (short for mattt)" Man, that fucking killed me. Good job.