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phalseprofits

So, I’ve been there. At my fattest, I was around 210 (I’m guessing bc the depression got baaaad and I stopped getting on the scale after 204) at 5’3”. My husband has fluctuated in weight but has always been handsome and fit. I’m now the healthiest I’ve ever been as an adult, I lost 65ish pounds and I’m finally in a healthy bmi. The way we are treated as a couple now is a different world. It’s nice to be treated more nicely but it’s very unsettling when I realize how much my appearance is a deciding factor.


TARandomNumbers

Especially for women, right??


phalseprofits

I mean, my anecdotal experience only goes so far. I’ve never been the more physically attractive one in a relationship and I’ve only ever been a woman so 🤷🏻‍♀️


TARandomNumbers

Well, let me validate your feelings. Similar situation as you. One of my "friends" asked my then BF now husband why he'd be with me if I've gained so much weight. And he said "Bc I love her heart".


phalseprofits

The wildest part to me now isn’t the sexual attractiveness. It’s that elderly people and children are ridiculously nicer now. People show a really ugly side to the people they find ugly :(


TARandomNumbers

I'm not even that big comparatively (to the general pop), just not as skinny as I used to be. People straight up are not as nice to me. It's wild.


00roku

I was like “oh 210 isn’t THAT bad… oh shit at 5’3”???” Kudos to you for losing the weight! That sounds hard. But yeah kinda shitty how people treat others based mostly on looks


phalseprofits

It was pretty rough. I guess one of the things that really stuck with me was how from time to time, cashiers would assume that we weren’t making a shared purchase. Like most of the time you get treated as invisible but when you are noticed at that size, it’s only for something bad.


usa_commie

Wish my DMs got slid into


LiloNissan-Tooketh

Wish granted


PrinceChristian88

SAFE!


[deleted]

and out and in and out and in


JediGodA3

Did I just lose my virginity?


CapNBall1851

She’s playing all night.


AnxiousSlip

I'm not mad about it, but I unfollowed because it felt like all she ever talked about, how hot her husband is and how much he loves her for her. Which, totally fine, her Tiktoks, her content, her life. But it wasn't engaging content for me and I didn't enjoy watching.


[deleted]

This is a very understandable response. Don't waste your time on stuff you don't enjoy anymore. Basically


CapJackONeill

I was with a morbidly obese woman for 5 years in my 20s. I loved her, still do. I also found her absolutely beautiful. The problem wasn't the fat in itself, it was how it affected our quality of life. Taking the car for 10m walks, no physical activities whatsoever outside of walking the dog, low energy and motivation making it so that she wouldn't want to participate in anything that didn't include the couch, etc.


[deleted]

[удалено]


kimjongspoon100

yeah i like to hike and it sucked to never bring my partner. On the same token if they’re happy people should stfu


stroopwafel666

The best way I’ve seen it explained is that obesity is a personal problem like any other. Maybe somebody drinks too much or abuses drugs. Maybe someone has depression or is a massive narcissist. The difference with being fat is that everyone knows it the second they meet you, and judges you for it, which can actually spiral the problem as you eat more, exercise less and feel worse about yourself. The core thing about a relationship with someone with a serious personal problem is being able to see that they recognise the problem and do want to actually change it. The behaviour you’re describing is the same as a drug addict who won’t admit they’re addicted. It’s completely understandable why they are stuck in that mentality and they shouldn’t be judged for it, but you can’t spend your life waiting for them to come around.


Slade_Riprock

This plus constant complaining about being in pain or uncomfortable or clothes not fitting. Yet zero motivation to make any changes, just excuses for why they can't.


Mathev

Shit me and my wife is in this comment and I don't like it..


RoofClinger

One of my dearest friends is in a situation like this. They're in a lot of pain, they get sick frequently, and they can't stand for an extended period. They know what the problem is, and I don't know what they're doing to solve it if anything because it's really not my business. I know that the various mental and physical health issues that led to this are complicated and interwoven, and they're working on dealing with those piece by piece. So what if we can't go hiking together? It's fun to just sit on a couch and talk for a while. Sharing a drink, chatting about life, playing games or watching a movie... There are a lot of things we can do that's comfortable for them, and I'm happy to be their friend whether their body changes or not.


CapJackONeill

Being friends and being in a relationship is a lot different. It's not everyday for years


Bups34

A lot of tik toks follow the pattern of - this is one thing that got me famous so let’s just run it to the ground content


kingjuicepouch

Yeah, it's usually one style of joke or personality over and over. There's a family of tall people who are a great example, every single one of their posts is how tall they all are lol


Hairy-Experience-455

to be fair this is what we see because it’s what the algorithm rewards. accounts who don’t keep making the same content after going viral get shelved.


imitihe

I think she's pointing out how other people comment. I didn't get the sense that she has this huge value on her husband's appearance. If she's emphasizing this difference over and over, it's probably because she is hoping to help change how culture normalizes relationships with the genders swapped, but harass her anytime she does show herself with her husband.


jay-jay-baloney

That's funny because she's talking about how looks shouldn't matter and be valued in this society... yet she talks about how conventionally attractive her husband is constantly...? Seems like he likes her for her personality, but I'm not so sure about her.


AnxiousSlip

You know what? You're right and I never even thought about that aspect.


Spyes23

They're not right though, they're speculating, and really jumping to conclusions over someone else's post about this woman's TikToks. It's mental gymnastics, just for what? Discrediting her?


AnxiousSlip

It's not like it came from her directly no. But most of the posts about her husband are heavily focused on hot he is, going on the fair amount I have watched of her posts. I don't recall any other posts about any of his other positive traits, beside he loves her unconditionally, which is awesome and good for the both of them. I wouldn't discredit her, I don't know her or her life beyond what she shows.


Spyes23

From what I've seen she doesn't use the word "hot", she talks about "conventionally attractive" - which is a big distinction IMO. She talks about how people talk about them and why. It's okay for her to think her husband is good looking, there is nothing wrong with that. Her point is that, by other peoeple's standards, it's not okay for him to be with her, because he's attractive and she's not. I don't think we can make any assumptions other than that.


starspider

Seriously. God forbid people having the audacity to try to police their relationship *on the regular* be a subject she speaks about a lot. Shock horror. It, a regular occurrence in their life couldn't *possibly* be a problem.


[deleted]

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Metamorphis

Nah, she makes a point. It's a point that's 100% correct pertaining to their relationship and also how fucked up peoples comments and sense of self is. What she ISN'T touching on is that physical attraction is among the most important things in most relationships that isn't very low sex drive or asexual, and even then looks matter quite a bit cus you want someone appealing around you even if sex isn't in focus. (I'm getting to my point) Now, I think this guy is probably very much like me. I get attracted to personalities, good vibes and sex appeal. I need to get to know a bigger woman and her values/goals and outlook on life before I get attracted to her. With conventionally attractive people the sex appeal is there straight from the get go but it isn't a given it'll stay that way once she starts speaking... When a real connection is made weight alone doesn't matter much in terms of physical attraction. What matters when I know I already like their personality is stuff like... Does she take care of herself in general, make herself look good, does she care about me, is our talks and wants mutual and sexy? If yes I'll be head over heels for her because she's her. Her body is simply amazing and sexy af because I know who it belongs to. That kind of stuff can drive me wild, while I wouldn't even want to be in the same room as a conventionally attractive girl with all the right features if she treats homeless people like shit and bring people around her down. This girl seem to have her values in check. She's insecure and all of those things but her personality and morals make her sexy af in his eyes. And that shit matters a lot for people that get attracted to others in more emotional ways rather than physically appealing from the get go. I get why some people leave their partners if they gain a lot of weight, it's ok to do even. Why? Because being sexually attracted to your partner is a big part of what makes relationships work. And if you're not in love and emotions ain't there anymore regardless of reason, why continue? It's ok to have preferences, it's NOT okay to bring other people down for what's right for them..!


EmilysPetParrot

I get what you’re saying here. Agree with some of it even. But when I got to the “it’s okay to leave your partner because of their weight”, I wondered what you meant by “okay”. Do you mean within your right to do? Or do you mean like, it is a morally neutral action?


[deleted]

[удалено]


EmilysPetParrot

This presumes a situation where a person getting fat is the sole “betrayal” of the partnership. But that their weight makes them inherently slobbish and unmotivated- this is a stereotype about fat people. If you separate those two things into [my partner is fat] and [my partner is slobbish and unmotivated], as they are separate qualities, then the truth is that you left your partner because they are a slob. If you break it down, and the fact that they were a slob was perfectly fine with you, then the *sole* reason you left was because they were fat, is that still morally justified?


Spyes23

Very well said. I'm not necessarily fat, but I'm pretty slobbish and unmotivated. I know some people who are fat, and go dancing and work out 4-5 times a week. It's such a stupid stereotype.


resetdials

She used to be a bodybuilder with an eating disorder. So at one point she was conventionally attractive.


Alert-Incident

That’s how I fell into gaining a lot of unwanted fat. I was working out recreationally but intaking massive amounts of calories based off of what I was reading about body builders and gaining muscle. I gained muscles but for the first time in my life “love handles” appeared. Then I started sweating just putting my work boots on in the morning. Starting breathing heavy after walking up the stairs. When I stopped working out the hunger stayed, I made eating a lot a habit. Luckily I’m at an age (29) where I can change this easier than some but it’s going to take real effort/motivation. Definitely wasn’t a problem I thought I would end up experiencing.


dr_gay_hitler_esq

I think the problem was with what you were reading, not with working out. Caloric uptick is not step 1 or step 2 in body building or fitness


vickyswaggo

I can't find any information about her being a bodybuilder (or being a normal weight for that matter), could you direct me to how you found out?


resetdials

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRkgddn7/?k= First one I ran into, it was a ways down.


resetdials

She has a few videos about it on her Tik tok


kbb_93

She was morbidly obese first, lost the weight and did a bodybuilding competition years ago, then gained it all back and more. Source: live in the same small city/have mutual friends.


thebardjaskier

Yeah because I'm sure it's super easy to make the content she wants when her comments are hot garbage like she shows. Imagine even trying to be unbothered by that because it's not realisticbor even if it doesn't bother her like she doesn't notice it. it's gonna effect you sometimes and if she's decided to take that viral attentions and turn it into a platform to speak on self-love and fatphobia than good for her. You only care because you want to pick holes in it and you only want to do that because once again she's fat. So maybe take a look inside and ask yourself why it bothers you so much or why you care at all instead of worrying about others. Have a nice day!


MilkTeaSprimpkles

I feel like conventionally attractive and skinny couples on tiktok do the exact same thing in the 'look at how hot my boyfriend/wife/partner is'. Their videos are centred around being hot together, they don't have to justify other qualities because they're hot and that's enough for people to accept. This woman and her husband want to participate in that and celebrate their relationship but like you said it can get too much sometimes to see the garbage people spew invalidating her worth and their relationship so she fights back in a calm and thoughtful way.


Babe_Made_of_Garbage

Thank u for commenting this, she made a video literally not about this but just being a cute couple online but people clearly just want to talk about her being fat like it’s a bad thing, so of course she’s going to make comments addressing it??


beckalm

This. It felt like she made fatness and marriage to a conventional attractive man her whole personality.


GrabMyPosterior

She got popular on TikTok because of a trend at the time where people would show themselves with their "hot boyfriends". It was an innocent little trend that gained her many followers and lots of negative comments. Shortly after that she began educating and responding to hate comments. If people don't enjoy her content, that's fine - but reducing it to "fat woman talks about hot husband all the time" isn't it. Her account is comparable to a lot of other couple's accounts, playing pranks on each other, showing bits and pieces of their lives, doing silly TikTok trends (which again, may not be everyone's cup of tea).


EmilysPetParrot

… she described her personality? And because of the content of her video, we can also assume other things about her personality (equality-oriented, outspoken). I think maybe all *you* got from the video was her fatness and his attractiveness.


Think-Ad-7612

I just unfollowed a girl on insta because she wouldn’t stop talking about how everyone told her she should feel bad for not wanting kids. She’s got a luscious gaming set up and I’m totally there for that. But the whole “I have let the conversation coming from people who critique me to dominate my personality” thing? Not cute. Again, like you said, her platform, she can make the content she wants to. But as an artist (or lifestyle guru or whatever) if you’re looking to connect with an audience, leading with your victim fetish? All I’m saying is, could be cuter.


bloodndawater

I see this a lot in my town hot girls with dumpy dudes and vice versa.


AndyCAPP_LSB

I am a dumpy dood, what town is this?


[deleted]

Successful Daddy ville


[deleted]

That's because people have more to offer than looks alone.


notLOL

I got the dumpy part to offer


toolate4u

I'm interested


notLOL

lol DM me to chat about fast food


gregthekeg

But dumpy dude offers something. People would comment that there is SOMETHING besides looks attracting that


KarenTheCockpitPilot

YEAH i feel like it's very double standards. i see a lot more "less hot" dudes w/ hot gf and it's not really commented on as much, assumed they must have cracked the human value code. sad about the reverse.


NexusMaw

Cue the incel take “he’s RICH!!!1” lololol


GrindNhodL

There’s an ass for every seat


Puthyputhyputhy

There’s an ass for every face


PrinceChristian88

Amen, my brother in Christ.


yowowthisgreat

Used car dealer?


CompleMental

Don’t know why you’re downvotes lol. That’s one of the hallmark rules for car dealers.


BubbaDawgg

I’m not mad about it and I really liked her videos in the beginning. However, now it seems like all she talks about is how hot her husband is and it seems like her confidence is based solely on that. I’m happy that she is in a good relationship but to only talk about how she is valuable because he is hot seems counterproductive. Also, I hate how it’s her whole profile. I would like to see a more body positive, confident profile that talks about all aspects not just her hot husband.


lulucita2020

She’s obviously trying to recreate the original video that got her viral but instead just grinding the same topic mindlessly until most people will unfollow cuz how much can you watch about same thing. She’s milking her influencer-status to death. Hope she didn’t quit her day job for social media stardom...her 15 minutes are up


ForgetTheRuralJuror

Biggest problem with TikTok imo. People strike gold with a viral video and then repeat the formula over and over until they [flanderize themselves](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flanderization#%3A%7E%3Atext%3DFlanderization_is_the_process_through_which_a_single_element_of%2Cbecomes_their_primary_defining_characteristic.?wprov=sfla1) and followers drop like flies unless they get the hint


mrsclause2

And about NORMAL THINGS. Like, fuck. I'm plus sized. I do not want or need another "body positive" channel to tell me why I should love myself. I want channels that just are fat people existing in their bodies and living their lives. I mean, I get that she has the right to reply to comments like this, but at a certain point, you're beating a dead horse and you're just feeding the fire. Which, hey, if that's the goal, go for it. But I don't follow that type of content.


Toisty

>you're just feeding the fire. This just made me realize why I get so turned off by social media politics these days. It seems like every content creator right, left and everywhere in between has realized that they can't get rich or even exist without someone to point at and say, "OMG look what they did now!" And then they fire back with, "lol look how triggered they are." No need to rinse, just repeat ad nauseum. They all seem to be pathologically incapable of being productive and are stuck stoking the outrage flames that engulf our political theater these days.


marmosetohmarmoset

Follow Lizzo on IG if you don’t already. Very occasionally there’s a specific body positive post but most of the time it’s either her at a photo shoot, or her bored at home filming herself twerking. Both highly enjoyable types of content.


MissChanandalerBong

personally, I am not a fan because the content isn't "I don't fit society's beauty standards, but i'm worthy of love, and I have a loving relationship" and instead it's "my HOT husband and i FUCK - and he LIKES it" and it's like....... why reduce your husband to his looks while also being upset that the internet and world reduces you to your looks? It seems... hypocritical and provocative for the sake of being provocative. Her content is driven to frustrate and annoy people to get that engagement and negative attention.


humaninspector

Ha- you make an excellent point!


SkyDefender

Yes and i am mad that i couldnt think like this when i was watching that. Am I stupid? Am I undervalue meself??


humaninspector

No, some of her points are valid. Also, sometimes it takes a while to think about things before we realise something. Thats normal.


catalineconspiracy

Just to piggy back, her husband sure works on the way he looks an awful lot for someone to whom appearance is not a priority.


DaemonRoe

I have a friend who goes to the gym to help pick up women. Another because he has a disability and he wants to get strong. Another because he wants to be healthy and live a long life for his kids. The push to ones own journey with their body is pretty much subjective. All you’ve done is project your own onto him. It’s weird. Who knows why — why does it matter?


407dollars

That dude is a body builder. That’s steroids and at least 14 hours a week in the gym minimum. Not to mention the insane diet he’s probably got. That’s not just a guy who likes to work out lol. That’s a 24/7/365 lifestyle.


DaemonRoe

Okay that’s a more real answer versus an assumption. Thank you for clarifying. I just don’t see the line between his own personal journey with his body versus his relationship interests. Those are separate although often relate understandably.


XanDarnold

It just feels to me like they wouldn’t have much in common. I’m someone who lifts pretty seriously and follows a lot of bodybuilders. He likely eats 6+ clean meals a day, works out 90 minutes a day plus cardio. Logs every calorie he puts into his body. Has a consistent routine of steroids. And she puts no thought into any of that in her life. Fitness isn’t just his hobby, it’s his lifestyle


spektrol

Imagine someone doing something for themselves. Self confidence comes in different forms for everyone, and everyone deserves to feel confident. If that makes him feel good about himself, good on him. Sometimes beating doubt and depression and all of that is just keeping yourself together.


FrizzleStank

The amount you care about your own appearance doesn’t equate to the amount you care about your partner’s appearance. They can be wholly different things.


lillygirl69

Who is she


notLOL

Her hot husband's wife


jsmith17540

Best comment here


SellSuspicious9241

Exactly. She became annoying overall. Unfollowed her cus all she do is talk about stupid shit, her haters and her husband.


teatreez

I HATE when creators content becomes entirely about their other content and they no longer make any real content cause all of their videos are just about comments on their other videos 😅


Devilsfan118

Because she's desperate for attention and validation. That much is obvious here.


tabasco89

I like the message…but I can’t stop looking at how that car is parked in the background.


BeezyBates

Hey man put a trigger warning in your comment. Fuck. I thought the whole thing was water and that was a boat or a dock or something. But here we are looking at an asshole park like an asshole instead of me believing it was something better. And I like Tobasco god dammit. Why.


420_PUSSY_SLAYER_69

At first I thought this was supposed to be an attempt at a fat joke, then I looked again and now that’s all I see.


Lushunuhsul

Dudes clearly into heavy lifting. Case closed


TheHotSaucePacket

Underrated comment


whoagordoo

As someone who is trying to lose weight (down 30 pounds as of today!), this really hits home. I feel so inadequate and ugly around men. My weight is absolutely MY fault and MY issue, but I wonder if I’ll ever feel worthy of love. At this point, I see the weight loss as my only option to find someone who loves me. It can be a real downer dude. Edit: thank you everyone for the sweet comments. I’m sorry this is something common enough to get this reaction. I hope you all are doing great and staying safe.


DaaneJeff

Same boat here but I am male


DJ_Molten_Lava

Right with you, friend. Sucks feeling like this every single day.


Byebaileeyy

Big men are my favorite tho and that’s all I’ve ever dated. Definitely not a fetish just a type I like.


Tofutits_Macgee

I went from a size 18 to a 6, some of it was medical bc prescriptions, the weight not the loss and the rest was bad eating habits. When I lost all that weight I still hated myself and didn't feel worthy of love, so physical health aside please know you are worthy of love and respect regardless of your pant size. It is not a platitude, I just want to help you avoid suffering from what I suffered if I can.


Katatonic92

I highly recommend therapy in conjunction with your weightloss journey. Speaking from a similar experience (I was dangerously underweight & needed to gain) you run the risk of feeling incredibly disappointed once you hit your target & find you still don't value yourself. We have a tendency of connecting negative feelings to something tangible because it gives us an excuse to feel bad about ourselves. It gives us a reason to wrongly convince ourselves that we are not worthy. Once the weight is gone, it is terrifyingly easy to find something else to blame, "oh it's my scars, once they fade I'll finally love myself." Then it's some perfectly normal wobbly bits, "once I tighten them up, I will love myself." On & on it goes because the problem was never on the outside, it starts from within. Weightloss isn't always the magical, happily ever after pill people think it is. The initial confidence boost doesn't last when you aren't constantly fuelling it with self love. You are doing are great job working on your outside, please seriously consider putting a similar effort into working on your feelings too. It could be the best gift you ever give yourself.


humaninspector

I'm in the same position. I need to lose weight but if I am only valued for what I look like, what about all the amazing things I have to offer as a person? I battle with this daily.


East_Deer7419

That's not a fair statement. I bet you are attracted to beautiful people no? Ya, so is everyone else. Attraction is what starts a relationship. Personality is what makes it continue and have longevity. Most everyone values personality, but it's just life that attraction plays a role. It's absolutely unfair of you to think other people are so shallow that they don't care who a person is. That's really toxic thinking that ends in things like becoming an incel if you take it to far. Humans are human. We're all right here with you going through the same shit. Do I want to watch my diet and work out every day and maintain my health? Absolutely fuck no. It's a real pain in the ass sometimes and sometimes I fail. But that's life and if you want things you have to put in the work.


SBolo

Here's my two cents (as a fat person myself), and beware it's my very personal opinion so take it for what it is. Fat is, unfortunately, unattractive for the modern standards and the faster we accept it, the better. Does it mean we are not worthy of love? Absolutely not. Does it mean we are void as people and unable to offer amazing things? Not at all. HOWEVER. The barrier to overcome in order to feel attracted to us is higher, because our bodies are our business cards, the first thing people see about us. Very selfishly, given two women with the same personality traits and the same level of compatibility with me, I would evidently fall for the one who's the most attractive to me. So I expect the same exact treatment from the other people. Luckily for us, I believe there must be someone out there who can look beyond our bodies, but it's just.. harder to meet those people because they are not a lot. Every excess kilo you lose increases the size of your dating pool. It might be sad but it's the reality and I think it's not worth fighting against.


jeniwreni

Babe I’m nearly 3.5 stone down, I’m skinnier yeah and when I was bigger I thought if only I was skinny, now I’m skinny, I’ve lost my boobs, now I want bigger boobs. I think I would of been better off working on my mental health first. That seems to need more help than my fat ass did. I’m not being ungrateful of my weight loss. Keep going with what your doing, just be sure your doing it for you x


FallInStyle

I would disagree for myself at least. As someone who is unfit and has been more overweight and unfit in the past, my mental health improves leaps and bounds with improved physical fitness. I'm always in a better place even just trying to diet and exercise. I've learned to give myself credit not just for succeeding in losing weight and fitness, but for even attempting to improve my circumstances. Thousands of people never even bother to try, but we are trying, and that ain't nothin.


nyuckajay

Same here, I let myself go once. The exhaustion I felt from running, working, etc. really took a toll on my head.


ohjackie91

Damn, literally same girl. Any time a guy ghosts me or it doesn’t work out I always immediately think “well of course he left you idiot, look at you, whats worth staying around with you for?” And it’s the worst feeling. I’m convinced I won’t be finding the love I want until I get my body where I want. Which isn’t a fast road when you’re trying to do it sustainably. Oh well! Cheers to us 💗


cowgirlsheep

Do what you need to do to feel happy and at peace, but remember that this body you’re in right at this moment is the body you’ll live in for the rest of your life, and you deserve to love and be loved and love yourself no matter how much it weighs. Good luck with everything <3


JonnyAU

> My weight is absolutely MY fault and MY issue Yes, but don't be too hard on yourself. With our obesigenic food environment it's not an even playing field. The deck is stacked against you. Even lab animals with strictly controlled diets are gaining weight. And the guilt and shame of making it ALL your fault only makes it less likely for you to reach your goal.


frostmasterx

Some guys are into bigger women, it's not that deep. I think the harry potter glasses and the grandma dress hurt her more than her weight.


Gozie5

And the hair style


Captain-Cuddles

Interesting. The weight is offputing for me but the hair, Harry Potter glasses, and grandma dresses... woof. That does it for me.


bhkc642

This is all she ever talks about. I don’t think people hate on this relationship all that much. She’s either projecting her insecurities or she likes the topic purely for the sake of content. I saw another post about her reducing her husband to being HOTTTT and I definitely agree. She’s reducing him purely to his body, just as she says people are reducing her to her body.


specialk609

I for the life of me don’t understand how people see happy couples and can’t just mind their business. Who gives a fuck


neuromole

I mean yes but also they are on a social media platform and it’s become a major part of their own dialogue 🤷‍♀️


Tctdb456

I dated a girl years ago we were together for 4 years. She was in good shape because she was a cheer leader most of her life. A couple years after high school she put on a pretty good amount of weight. I never judged her and she beat herself up enough about it and still loved her the same. People were always why are you with her man you could get way better! I like to think of myself as a pretty good looking guy but I didn’t care what they said. Funnily enough she ended up cheating on me at some random party I couldn’t go to and I dumped her the moment I found out, life is strange.


anincompoop25

I think what’s super strange isn’t that they’re different fitness levels, it’s that they’re radically different fitness levels. I wouldn’t spare a passing thought if a couple was an average looking person with another person who is either on the plus or minus end of the health spectrum. But this woman is very physically unhealthy, and this dude is absurdly fit, like near bodybuilding level of cut. Look at that shirtless pic, dude must spend an incredible amount of time working on his body. It’s just such a strange mismatch of values that’s also very physically visible. I wonder what these people are actually like


Merisuola

Apparently they’ve been together since high school and she was far more athletic back then. She’s posted a vid of herself as a bikini/fitness model competitor before.


danny17402

So she wasn't fat when they met? In the video she says, "People try to add things to the equation to make it make sense like, 'oh she must not have been fat when they met.'" She's very clearly trying to imply that's not the case, since she goes on to list some other examples that aren't true. Seems like she's lying and trying to misrepresent her situation to give other overweight people false expectations. Really scummy thing to do if true.


Bucktown_Riot

She’s posted pics of her when they first met, and she was definitely overweight then.


nvrL84Lunch

Outrage gets them clickies!


Apex_Pred

I don’t know if she’s “misrepresenting” anything - at the end of the day her point and entire premise is that people shouldn’t look to peoples’ sizes and shapes as a way to justify who they should or shouldn’t be with. Regardless of what either of their respective shapes were when they met, her point is that it A) has absolutely no bearing on the lives of the people choosing to pass judgement regarding which people are/should be allowed to be with which people , B) it’s none of anyone’s business and C) Point B) again. I think the commenters here that are stuck on the fact that she references her “hot husband” as such is because she is drawing attention to the litany of comments that they get on their videos/photos that describe him that way. Sure, he’s conventionally attractive. Sure, she’s overweight. Just because those two things are true doesn’t mean there has to be a *reason* why they’re both into each other beyond the fact that they enjoy each other’s company. Fat people aren’t any less deserving of love and attractive people aren’t any more deserving of love, which she points out in another video.


Saint-Peer

I just saw that video, impressive. Even amateur competitive sports is hard to get into and i wonder if she did that with her husband


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spektrol

But why can’t people just have different personal values and still be attracted to one another? I feel like the sentiment around people like him is that this *has to be* his entire personality when *it absolutely doesn’t*. You can be passionate about something without making it your entire shtick. Love is a lot deeper than sharing one single thing you’re both passionate about.


whatarechimichangas

You CAN have different personal values and still be attracted, but it's not like you can help what you're physically attracted to. Personally, I don't think I could ever date anyone obese, and it's not just because I'm not physically attracted to obesity. Making an effort to be fit and healthy isn't just "one thing." It affects your whole lifestyle and your outlook on things. To me, not taking care of your body (not necessarily obese) is equivalent to qualities like impatience, lack of restraint, and lack of discipline and those aren't qualities I want in a partner. My partner doesn't even have to be like super duper athletic fit, they just have to take care of their body, have relatively healthy eating habits, active once in awhile, etc.


Rxef3RxeX92QCNZ

> But this woman is very physically unhealthy, and this dude is absurdly fit, like near bodybuilding level of cut. Look at that shirtless pic, dude must spend an incredible amount of time working on his body. It’s just such a strange mismatch of values that’s also very physically visible I get the impression that most people, but especially those pushing health blindness, have no idea what it takes to achieve his level of fitness. That body is pretty much a full time job. Yes, that difference in values is surprising and people are going to have questions. It's like the Conway couple in politics It's terrible to be rude to people just for their weight, but these types of videos go far beyond condemning just that behavior. They demand everyone's attraction. Why is so much effort put into shaming people for what they are or aren't attracted to? Especially when the thing they are attracted to is being healthy. It feels bizarre Be the weight you want, be confident if you want, but you are not entitled to people's attraction


anincompoop25

Fuck man, even most normal people have no idea how much work this takes, dude is absolutely huge. He is way beyond just “fit”


TheMontrealKid

That guy is on all the gear. So unnatural.


aligreaper19

probably running a good amount of test, i don’t see anything else


Busy_Ad6684

It takes effort, going to make you uncomfortable levels of effort


cowgirlsheep

Fitness is just one facet of hundreds of things an individual could value. I am sure they value lots of the same things or they wouldn’t be together.


gregthekeg

But this dudes LIFE is fitness when he looks like that. That’s every single day and every single meal. People just don’t “kind of workout” to look like this.


RowAwayFromMyCanoe

I'll tell you how I ended up in a similar situation with my ex wife. She stopped caring for her physical appearance. And the sex stopped. And the gym became my coping mechanism. It's how I dealt with my frustration and energy. So I became very fit and the gap widened. Not saying that is their situation but that's how it happened to me.


SurvingTheSHIfT3095

Lmao I thought to myself "Damn he fine, good for you girl!" It sucks that she went through this


kosherhalfsourpickle

I just like the saying that Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder.


lahol83

Sometimes beauty is in the eye of the beerholder


gregthekeg

So as a fit guy, it’s not about looks. It’s about lifestyle. I love going on 5+ mile hikes on the weekend or playing vball for 4+ hours straight. I get on dating websites and give any ladies that seem cool a chance. But the ones that don’t value fitness, you can see by the pics/description and every time I give them a chance, they are miserable or want me to fix them. I am an adult though and I don’t go around fixing my partners.


indifferentCajun

The lifestyle part is what intrigues me. Like looks are whatever, but fitness is clearly a huge part of his life, so I'm curious how that affects their day to day life together. Do they share hobbies? Does he make all his own food separately? Obviously not important or any of my business, I'm just curious.


[deleted]

Well bloody said


Komrath

It’s great for both of them if they really love each other. Who cares what some randos online think? 🤷🏻‍♂️ Although as a fat guy I know there are some toxic mental mechanics in some people like they like to feel superior and powerful just because they are with a worse looking person. I hope they keep it healthy.


Odatas

Damn. This hits home for me. Because i often think that about me and my wife too. Because im Fat and shes not and i think: "How could she be attracted to me" sometimes.


Competitive-Wish-568

Imagine being TikTok “famous” solely based on you being plus size and your husband having a fit physique…


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Reddilutionary

Alternatively, who gives a fuck about any of this.


[deleted]

Scott’s juiced to the gills, both are unhealthy


[deleted]

I think so too.


StoneLegionYT

She is fat and unhealthy. But guess what? That is not our place or business to rub that into her face. I'm sure she is working on her problems. She might have a disability, depression, etc. We don't need to trigger people just because you are or think your right. Just let her be and let them have a wonderful life. Signed a fat guy.


gregthekeg

I mean also constantly posting on social media on how hot your partner is, is just as stupid. Social media to strangers is Fucking weird.


[deleted]

Also a fat guy here: if I'm walking down the street and someone gets in my business, shame on them. If I'm working out and they're in my business double shame. If I put a video on TikTok of me in a towel... Next to someone in a towel who meets social beauty standards MUCH more than me... I'm not going to Pikachu face that it's a shallow vapid environment.


foodie487

Nobody deserves to be shamed for their appearance especially not by strangers on social media. But she even acknowledges that they aren't the same level of attractiveness so I don't think it's a problem if others point out the same.


daviscc65

She sure got that ring in every shot eh


Tuf_Beans

Facts, maybe she and him really enjoy each other’s company and don’t value appearance but more the character. Maybe Scott was fat before and hates the attention he gets now from people that would dismiss him. Or he is well centered and finds shit like that superficial and shallow


asmallsoftvoice

It seems strange to post content that is only viral because she knows how people will react - that is its sole appeal. Shock value. Is this supposed to be a learning moment because it just sounds like complaining? It seems a bit silly to act like it's merely a beauty standards thing when he clearly values working out to a degree that achieves that sort of body. Ain't nobody waking up chiseled from stone. If he doesn't mind that they don't share a significant hobby, cool? Seems like a one note channel.


ButtLickinDickSucker

Ok. They decided to make it so thoroughly public. I do not care who you are, you will get trashed by random people for reasons you can't control when you put your life online. When you make things public you must accept that people you would not otherwise give half a crap about will say words to you, and they might not be pleasant.


brujasinpoderes

If roles were reversed they would be calling him a king and shit. This type of bullying and harassment is directed mainly towards obese women.


FreeJuice100

Double standards suck.


Babe_Made_of_Garbage

Fat people are people and deserve not to be harassed for existing.


ecidarrac

How many people here talking about ‘health issues’ from her weight drink, smoke, or take drugs?


Babe_Made_of_Garbage

Or neglect going to therapy. Most people don’t care about someone’s health unless they don’t want to fuck them.


rxanp

Fuck beauty standards and talk about health standards. She is unhealthy. I'm fat and I am unhealthy. Deluding ourselves isn't right.


SpoopiestPumpkin

She never mentioned anything about health… she said she is fat and deserves love anyway…


aoiN3KO

Right? She never made a comment trying to say that it’s good that she’s fat! She was just commenting on people being weird about her husband being fit while she is fat. Also f*cking reverse the roles and people would straight up melt about how “cute this situation” was. The hypocrites seriously tire me 😔


Blobby_Tiger

I don’t think that’s what she’s doing, she was talking about being worthy of love. Not about whether or not she is healthy.


Wusiji_Doctor

Other people's health is not your business. You projecting your own insecurities onto other people is a problem


Foxhead89

Stop normalizing morbid obesity


the_stylish_dyke

People existing and asking to stop being harassed just for in being in a happy relationship, while looking the way they do is not "normalizing obesity"


Ppleater

Classic reddit. Just existing while fat means everybody is a doctor and nutritionist and they're all gonna wag their fingers and tsk at the fat person. Bonus points if they claim to also be fat so people can't call them out for being judgy.


aderail

it’s not normalizing, it’s accepting. being gay isn’t the new normal, but reducing the amount of homophobia accepted sure does prevent a lot of suicides.


Kindly-Tumbleweed972

Stop harassing fat people and passing it off as “I care about you…”


DrHockey69

I was like him when I was in my teens through mid-30s, my wife was is a BBW❤️, and we got the same bullshit when we visited petr or Moskva... I love BBW!! Never been into skinny. We love all sizes of beautiful women in our Sakha culture. Been married to my wife 20yrs this Friday.


sgtmum

Awe! Happy anniversary for Friday!


ruuster13

Anything remotely positive about her is getting downvoted in these comments. Any comment that rationalize a reason to dislike her despite her good message is getting upvoted. This is internalized fatphobia at play. It's her schtik to repeat her message in every video; that's how she makes money. If you have found a reason to dislike this video, fuck you. Just treat her content like it's invisible... like you know damn well you would do to her irl. If you thought "she needs to lose weight for her health," FUCK YOU the most! I don't comment on your shitty mental health every time it appears; treat our fat bodies the same. Our health is our business.


brynmorg

Exactly!!!


LoveRoseSun

What’s annoying is that she is constantly talking about how she’s a big girl with a fit man but I guess that’s her niche. Even when she was skinny she wasn’t a pretty girl & her man isn’t hot he’s fit but that’s about it. They’re high school sweet hearts they’ve been together for a long time so I’m sure he loves her unconditionally no doubt about that.


UnlikelyShare

I mean one way to stop the hate is just ignore it and don’t make dumb ass response videos


frehsoul45

You know what solves all of this? Get off social platforms, I don't get why people subject themselves to this type of criticism? She obviously does it for a reason, She has a trophy husband and is shoving into her followers face and now is mad some people want to say something? We see couples doing this all the time, I don't care what shape or size you are just keep relationship to yourself and your circle of friends and you won't run into this type of dressing down.


Tallgirl4u

I just personally cannot stand her and find her incredibly annoying and he just seemed like a bump on a log. I say this as a fat person who follows many other fat people on social media. She’s just annoying to me.


gigadegentbh

If she’s so confident why is she replying to every single hate comment and felt the need to make this. Lmfaooo


MUNAM14

She is extremely insecure her entire page is about her weight


SkinsHOFChaseYoung

I don’t get it. I mean is this news to anyone? Beauty standards have been a thing since forever. The problem is that she keeps talking about it and putting this whole “my husband is hot and people thing I’m not” situation in the spotlight. So people are going to say things. Just do you and move on. I used to weight 300lbs and dropped to 190lbs and I noticed the difference in peoples reaction. It sucks but that’ll always be a thing in society.


cantyouseeimblind

She needs to lose weight for her health's sake.


rohinton

Why are you pretending to care?


mattmu23

Because I hate fat people


[deleted]

W


boredndb

It's a fetish


ChamballZ

Everyone is just someone else's 'fetish'. In this case if she had different facial symmetry and bone structure (conventionally pretty) I could buy her argument. But its a hard sell when the whole relationship hangs on her having an award winning personality, I want to believe this is a thing but reality has proven this point wrong over and over. That said, life is almost never what you expect, so good for them I guess


resetdials

It’s not. They’ve been together since high school, and she used to be a bodybuilder. He’s with her because he loves her.


Additional_Cherry_67

Nothing wrong with that, could be a simple as “I only date ripped dudes”, same concept as “I only date fat chicks” both fall under fetishes, but why is fat a fetish and not ripped?


YouEdgyBitch

Probably because fetishizing someone being unhealthy and therefore encouraging them to stay that way is worse than considering physically healthy people attractive?


LickyPusser

Scott does have a micropenis, though.


123G0

Except how your body looks is apart of that equation which is why she is almost exclusively talking about how attractive her husband is…yet says very little about HIS personality… Apart of valuing yourself is acknowledging all of yourself holistically. If you’re obese, you’re hurting yourself, it’s literally self harm no matter what grifters like Lindo Bacon (who consistently has been caught in double speak to conceal their fallacious talking points) tried to sell you. That doesn’t mean that people should treat you like shit, anymore than failing to have personal hobbies that make you an interesting, healthy person should be a reason for people to disrespect you. Yes, people are being asshole. No doubt there. Then again, this is the same message regularly broadcasted on repeat for r/niceguys. Cool, you have a “good personality”, and what? Girl is up here sounding like a nice guy acting like personality is all that matters, yet… constantly failing vibe checks as to whether or not that’s true… You can’t lead with one part of yourself when you yourself are an entire human being. Leading with either exclusively is a failure.


The-toast-whisperer

This is all her content is… I’m bored.


Trapperstwinkbf

She's dating a feeder. Good for her.


The_Zeroman

Doesn’t like being devalued for her looks, but values her husbands looks while simultaneously devalues girls in his DMs because of their looks?