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The Ultimatum: Queer Love Episode 10 Discussion Thread (I)

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chocoflan00

mildred saying all this shit about tiff and then just being like “oh and i got arrested” GIRL.


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throwawayanaway

Exactly this is violence and intimate partner violence at that and she goes making up a million excuses for herself.


dallyan

Using only the passive voice while doing so - “there were fights”, etc. taking no accountability.


Fun-Mountain1106

That’s what my boyfriend said too! That she was using a passive voice trying to play the victim.


TopStruggle2546

She makes her arrest Tiff's fault somehow. Yes I was super abusive, but you got me arrested! You (supposedly) had women over! As if that is anywhere near as bad or as if it justifies her own actions.


Forsaken_Yam1

and the whole basis of the having women over is cause she found eyeliner. “i never wear eyeliner!” *said whilst wearing eyeliner*


serialkillercatcher

That's what abusers do. They always turn it around on the person they abuse. The abuser believes the abuse is never their fault because the other person drove them to it. I've been in one emotionally abusive relationship and one physically abusive relationship so I know the mindset of abusers. Abusers make you question your own worth and your own sanity. I had PTSD for years after emerging from each of those relationships and it took years of therapy to realize that the abuse was not MY fault.


msb0102

I bet Tiff has been dying to speak on this. How awful that was crazy.


browneyeddatachick

Mildred didn't even let Tiff speak! This was wild to me.


mercia2022

When Mildred kept saying let me speak …. Girl you’ve been talking for the last five mins this isn’t a conversation it’s a speech


jambalayabb

I dunno why but the way I heard her say ‘I was arrested’, she still sounded like she was the victim or sth 😂 wild af


throwawayanaway

The way she said "tiff called the cops on me' Please that's classic abuser playing the victim . And if anyone wants to ask why, it is way different than saying "the police came" the police had to get involved.


Femmenoire__

I was like ![gif](giphy|l4Ho0At2UD2d7WyD6)


chxrmander

Like how was she essential blaming tiff for everything after just casually being like “I got arrested (for DV)”


msb0102

The way she was so casual about it gave me the impression this is nothing new.


1lemony

and no one called her out or showed much support for tiff bar sam and aussie. mad


PhyllisTheFlyTrap

I wish they had Aussie speak more about her time with Mildred since she said it reminded her a lot of their time together. I feel like the Aussie/Mildred partnership didn't get a lot of attention and it was made to seem like it was because of Aussie being shy


Aggravating-Sea-7669

I was shocked to see so many defending mildred against Aussie on this thread. Yes walking away isn’t the answer but it was clear as day that Mildren had a very confrontational, aggressive side to her and not everyone handles that well. I talk stuff out but the moment I’m being spoken down to, I’m out. I respect Aussie for leaving Mildred. She’s clearly toxic and abusive.


Redicted

Sam is no surprise. But Aussie? That was unexpected and I am super proud! As one could see in the series, conflict is downright painful for Aussie to even witness let alone participate in. But Aussie called Mildred out when I think they normally would bail or not speak out. Here I thought Aussie showed no growth, but thankfully I was wrong.


AllaireSophia18

The silence from everyone else turned my stomach


coldknuckles

Yoly nodding along whenever Mildred was talking… 🥴


matchbox244

Yoly is also the fucking worst lol. She and Mildred seem to get along well.


Prize_Lemon_2865

Also lmao @ Mildred saying i found eyeliner but i dont wear eyeliner and meanwhile she has a whole beat makeup look and wore eyeliner in the series 🤣


MissLyds

I’m so disappointed Aussie was the only one to call Mildred out for her patterns of behavior. I am also Latina and shame on her to use our culture as an excuse to be verbally abusive. It’s clear most of the cast didn’t care for Mildred’s bs, why didn’t anyone speak up? Also, Yoli lost all her cool points for cheering Mildred on.


bfeller728

Her comments on all her Instagram posts being limited speaks volumes


Federal_Touch_862

Bet that Sam knew all of it and has been on Tiffs corner.


Cool_Core

Very concerning how Mildred admits to physical assault, continues to bully Tiff, and no one stops her.


thesaurusgist

Why does Yoly omit the truth and then Xander just confirms the real truth… so funny 😭


throwawayanaway

She really tried to make Vanessa feel stupid over something that was completely true. Just like when she asked Xander for a selfie and played dumb. I can't stand Yoly. She's a LIAR


ChronoClaws

The way Yoly be like *prove it* to any accusation. Then immediately folds cause she's full of it. Girl bye, Mal deserves so much better!!


throwawayanaway

Hawaii? Never heard of it


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AssistUsed

Yeah, I've tried to think about how hard it must have been for Yoly to be in position that she'd been in, over the course of the show. But I think by the end, it's just a bit too messy. Like, was Yoly kinda full of it? At this point, you can't even blame Vanessa for enjoying it lol. Like, who did Yoly think she was, getting on Vanessa's case (earlier in the show with Lexi)💀 At the same time, I wish Vanessa had also come around to the idea of just never reconnecting with Xander in any capacity, it wouldn't have been fair. But I guess they must have figured that out by now


brunaBla

I knew Yoli and Xander wouldn’t make it. I’ve been in situations before where you’re cut off from the outside world for a few weeks and so you develop very strong relationships with the people you’re with. I kind of lost sense of everything in that bubble, it was a very strange experience. Wouldn’t have lasted outside of that experience.


AssistUsed

Yeahh, they'd just been in a bubble and from what Xander has said after the show, Yoly choosing Mal initially also worked against her. Xander would obviously want any future partner to be fully invested in a relationship with them, as they should


CollegeRemarkable763

Yeah...and you're also starved for attention from your current relationship, coupled with the honeymoon phase of a new relationship...complete fairytale.


Femmenoire__

Yoly was so cocky when she was talking to Vanessa.


cangodhearme

The "you couldn't wait to share that, huh, Vanessa" ...girl, all she's doing is giving you the same energy you give her lmaooo, if you're gonna hold others accountable, hold yourself accountable, too!


sparklycider

Because she knew no one would come to Vanessa's defence, and in fact probably join in against her. Bully.


ZookeepergameNo2198

That was so fucking embarrassing for Yoly. I think she thought Xander would have her back and Xander was like uh well... actually...


Zestyclose_Sea_2027

SHE DOES THAT THROUGHOUT. she will say a complete lie and try to get confirmation from xander, while xander doesn’t confirm anything and admits the truth.


Panamanianveganmeat

Sam. You sweet angel. Netflix doesn’t deserve you 😭


insomniary

Her lack of hesitation when Tiff needed someone was inspiring. The world needs more Sams.


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Quinilin

And she called out Mildred, too. Like, get it, girl


peli_curl

Not mildred admitting she got physical and then acting like that isnt a problem lol


jamiejams2648

This is what I was thinking!! Like… you’re playing victim for being arrested… but you were arrested bc you assaulted tiff??? Like??


OnASugarCrash

It's very common for people for whatever reason to not realize how bad of a look it is to admit you were arrested for something like that.


msb0102

She clearly has not learned any self awareness imo.


SSDGM24

Right, saying “Tiff called the police on me” as though that was somehow Tiff’s fault that she threw things at them. Wtf


Novel-Challenge1384

Bruh the way they just put that Lexi and Rae update at the end.. so abrupt lmao . Like actually guys !! forget everything they just said !!


jamiejams2648

My jaw was all the way on the floor and then the credits rolled 😂


throwthefawayacct

WTF that's what I get for closing netflix while everyone is hugging and saying good bye?! I would have missed this if I didnt see this post!!


Substantial_Potato

I know I'm really late to the party here, but I was watching the show with Audio Descriptions, and when the update at the end came up, the narrator said, "Shortly after filming the reunion, Lexi suspected Rae was cheating on her. They called off the wedding." I watched/listened twice just to be sure... Idk why the audio description was different than the text on the screen, but I sure feel like that's some hot tea... edit: as /u/Swarleybucket mentioned, the Audio Description has since been changed to match the text on the screen. But it happened.


ElatedElf

I can confirm this. Soooo weird that the audio description would "take sides", WTF??


puffpuffpath

So the only couple we have is Sam & Aussie?


GigiLaurelle

That really caught me off guard!! How long ago was the reunion filmed? Super curious to know what happened. But tbh, I always felt their dynamic was off so not bothered by their split.


TheAmesAway

The reunion was filmed in January.


jambalayabb

It was so disturbing that Mildred’s domestic violence behaviours were not more discussed or condemned. Nobody said a damn thing. If a masc presenting lesbian did that it would not have fly. Not cool at all!!!!


lemon_babe

I commented exactly that on tiffs tiktok and they liked my comment


imfuckinconfusedbro

It looked like everyone was just shocked about it, and like honestly if I just heard someone so nonchalantly discuss throwing a pet gate at their partner I would probably sit there in shock as well, maybe give a "what the fuck" but I'd have no idea where to go from that. I'm assuming that's why no one really said anything, just out of shock?


yslsunset

I feel like Mildred and Yoly being friends enable their toxic behaviors lol. I knew all the baggage they came with and all the shit that just happened in this reunion kinda solidified that for me. I felt so bad for Tiff LMAO. I mean Mildred getting arrested for throwing a pet gate at Tiff and saying that since they took off her engagement ring was when she and Tiff were done was infuriating to hear. I think both of them need therapy but god, I feel Mildred gotta break some trauma because she lashes out and easily finds blame in other people. AND THANK HEAVENS FOR SAM, GOD SHE IS A GIFT ON EARTH. Does anyone know what she does for a living? Conclusion, I have a dislike for Yoly and Mildred lol


LeftOfTheOptimist

They're both dishonest imo. Just in different ways, different levels. It's not a surprise to me either that neither of the couples are no longer together.


throwawayanaway

Agree and it's no surprise that if you have to give an ultimatum , you aren't in the right relationship


OriginalBrilliant225

Wait so the only ones that made it are Sam and Aussie ? Didn’t see that one coming ybh


serialkillercatcher

It may have been editing and I believe there were likely things that weren't shown during Aussie and Mildred's trial marriage that made Aussie feel unsafe. I loved Aussie and Sam standing up for Tiff. Those 3 built a solid friendship and they have no use for Mildred.


AssistUsed

This was my prediction after the first set of episodes lol, I can't tell whether they're still together though


Excellent_Change_506

Yoly and Xander did all that dramatics to not even try and date?


GigiLaurelle

I feel like there’s more to that story… there was some coyness to the Coachella thing and the Hawaii trip thing.


ThereGoesMinky

Totally saw this too. Their nothing happened at Coachella expressions looked like two people who agreed to lie about what happened at Coachella.


CustomerSea8606

yeah it kinda seemed like xander was trying to look at yoly for confirmation that they were gonna say nothing happened


jrDoozy10

According to Xander in the Tudum interview nothing happened at Coachella, but the reason they didn’t try with Yoly is because after a few months away from the show they realized they wanted to be chosen first, not the second choice once things didn’t work out with Mal. So I’m inclined to believe that nothing happened at Coachella.


ShoutySue

Oh yeah, talk about minimising. The Hawaii convo was a classic Yoly moment of “oh are we counting *that*? Yes ok now that you’ve called me out I did say something vaguely like that”.


Awkward_Dog

She did that before, with the instagram DMs. I don't trust her.


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sideeyethehousedown

I couldn’t believe any of it but Mildred going “when I got home at 3am”….what were you doing out till that time of night as a single lady who is…a “mom first”? Like there’s nothing wrong with having a good time but to accuse Tiff of sleeping around while letting a detail like that slip was…telling. You were not sitting at home crying with your son. Second (seventh? Eleventh? Frankly I lost count) reality twisting lie was “I don’t wear eyeliner”. MAAM. MAAM. In every scene you’re clearly a fan of a glam look. Stop pissing in our faces & telling us its raining.


Benevolent_Grouch

Everything Mildred said was later a lie that she’d get called out on, admit, and say so what, even though she was the one to bring it up. I can see why Tiff couldn’t sit there anymore. It was very triggering from an uninvolved neutral third party, so probably hell for Tiff.


micro-void

She was even wearing eyeliner while she said that 💀


halerzy

Genuinely one of the most surreal exchanges I've ever witnessed


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halerzy

So glad that production seemed to support Tiff needing to remove themself from that situation. It's so clear that Tiff grew a LOT and they were having all of the progress threatened by a person who was admitting to domestic abuse but was somehow trying to save face at the same time?


palmtreeplane94

Thank you for calling it what it was - abuse! I’m so shocked no one said anything on the show and they just moved on from it?! I was screaming at my tv for someone to please circle back to Mildred admitting she physically abused Tiff and got arrested!!!


heyitsta12

Not all of them sitting separately like they all broke up 😂


big_red_160

The collective “ohhhhh” when the host said one side was ultimatum givers, other was receivers, was so embarrassing 😂


supage

Netflix did a good job keeping the suspense there


hjwj

What a messy reunion ![gif](giphy|fCUCbWXe9JONVsJSUd|downsized)


lameotrigine

Hearing Mildred speak made my brain hurt. I'm so glad Sam was there for Tiff.


insomniary

Sam is incredible.


msb0102

Sam is easily the best person out of the cast and it was solidified even more tonight. I am not here for Mildred at all.


Femmenoire__

She’s sweetest and fairest person on the show. I really hope that Aussie has changed. Sam deserves the world.


HalcyonRye

Sam is the angel of the Ultimatum.


homosapienne

Sam should host the next season of queer ultimatum :)


jambalayabb

Agree! Also just love her soothing voice 😇 what an angel


confluzed

I ship the STiff friendship :) Was actually really heartwarming to see.


stremendous

I wish Tiff had just sat there and smiled every time Mildred interrupted them. Tiff didn't need much help demonstrating how off kilter Mildred is. Mildred did all of the work herself in telling detailed pieces of the story (throwing items, making assumptions, admitting she did things that she had denied before, etc.) and in how she told it (piling on accusations, repeatedly telling Tiff that they are interrupting but constantly interrupting Tiff, etc.) I think Mildred keeps telling herself what she said in the episode... that she cannot control parts of her communication and, therefore, doesn't need to have any accountability.


AssistUsed

Yes, but I also feel for Tiff for even having to be just a few feet away from someone who tried to hurt them like that. They both made mistakes, but that's too much


CakeIceCream

I 1000% think they show could’ve told Mildred not to come after she *physically* assaulted Tiff and was ARRESTED. Like, why is she up there spewing more hate? That was so unnecessary.


AllaireSophia18

Agreed. The producers were wrong on this one. You shouldn’t get to abuse someone and then continue to have a platform.


Clean_Pause9562

Sam is such an all star.


heyitsta12

Although I feel like the reunion was actually sort of short… I’m glad. It was a lot man


jambalayabb

Not gonna lie I feel exhausted after watching it 😂😂 especially with Mildred’s ambushing voice. Still ringing in my head.


heyitsta12

After tiff and Mildred I checked the time stamp and was relieved we were almost done.


spicy_fairy

yoly is traaaaaaaash frfr. mal deserves SO much better.


Awkward_Dog

I loved Yoli until she said yes to Mal and then still went to meet with Xander without being truthful about it.


DeeBee1012

Mal's perception of Yoly transitioning of from being the love of her life to being the cousin you cant stand very much just tracks


Complex-Marzipan-218

I really love Mal. She even said they (Xander&Yoly) were cute together rewatching the show. She deserves THE best bride, and shouldn't settle for less.


ShoChange

Imagine having both Mal and Xander as options and ending up with neither of them 😭


NSYS93

She wants them to fight for her but she doesn’t fight for neither 🚮


applepancakes513

Anddd this season ends with Yoly and Mildred being the least likable for me.


unsalvaqeable

sam is absolutely an angel. refreshing to see actual sane person on a tv show i really adore her


trinitynix93

A straight woman using the phrase “fingergate” made me nearly turn it off


chicagoturkergirl

In her defense she looked uncomfortable as well.


BrutonnGasterr

She honestly looked like she tried getting out of saying it but production/whoever wrote that for her wouldn’t let her lol almost like a “I am so sorry to say this but I have to”


heyitsta12

Man… Xander is over it lol


throwawayanaway

I feel like Xander is too nice to spill on why it didn't work out with Yoli but they prob seen some things. And i bet they have realized what a catch they are finally


chxrmander

Xander commented an an interview saying they couldn’t get passed the fact that Yoly didn’t initially choose them. Xander doesn’t want to be a second choice just because it didn’t work out with Mal, and honestly good for her for making that choice and not settling.


Miss-Tiq

Bliss walked so Xander could run in the exact opposite direction. Lol.


GriffinLiftin

Fr Xander is so honest it’s funny LOL glad it looks like shes living her best life


heyitsta12

As she should tbh!


anakalidas

I'm sorry but the way yoly speaks to Vanessa is so unlikeable...I don't care if you dislike Vanessa but there's no reason she needs to speak to her like that especially when she is the one lying!!!!!


Femmenoire__

She was so cocky when she asked if that was the big reveal. Meanwhile Hawaï hadn’t come up yet.


throwawayanaway

I can see why her and Mildred are friends


msb0102

And this is awhile later right? Like Lexi composed herself even though she was not kind…she had her own reason for having probs w/Vanessa right or wrong. Yoly didn’t have to interact w/her she’s just nasty.


big_red_160

I honestly appreciated Lexi and Vanessa’s interactions during the reunion. I gained respect for both of them apologizing/just letting it go and moving on without being crazy about it. Much better look for Lexi than the last couple episodes and Vanessa isn’t as bad as initially appeared.


Bornwondering

Wow Vanessa with some character development and actually being kinda likeable. That was honestly a shock. Yoly getting properly called out by Mal FINALLY. Also can someone fucking shut Mildred up? This whole show alone is just an enabling process for her. The same for Yoly. Two abusers having each other's backs. So sad and I hope they stay away from other people until they both get therapy. But I don't see that happening.


TheGrumpyPepper

maybe I'm wrong but I feel like she shouldn't have been in the reunion episode. If she were a man who had gotten arrested for throwing stuff at their girlfriend, they wouldn't have called the guy back. I feel like abuse in queer relationships just aren't taken seriously, and this is another way we can see it.


Vortex2121

No, I agree with this. I feel like the DV situation wasn't taken seriously by producers/other cast mates. Especially because Mildred is the more "fem" presenting person. Honestly, I feel like if Tiff the more "masc" presenting person was the one to be arrested for DV, Tiff wouldn't of been allowed to be on the reunion.


Bornwondering

The masc comment is actually pretty interesting tbh. I actually never thought of it like that but it makes a lot of sense as to why Tiff really wasn't taken seriously. Like ffs. I really wanted to be there in person to back Tiff up because honestly Mildred had Yoly protecting her. Everyone else just let her get flayed on national television.


Bornwondering

I agree 100 percent. I feel like this show could have really raised awareness for queer couples in these situations. Cause typically, we have the imagery of a couple's abuse as a man hitting a woman. Instead I felt like the show saw this opportunity to run with this relationship that was for sure just a little bit more than "slightly toxic" and use it for views. The same goes for Aussie and her trauma breakdowns. It was all exploitative and I felt kinda dirty after watching those moments. Like Tiff was already pretty badly messed up coming into this show and honestly this has just made things worse for her. Glad she got out, but still it was hard to watch.


tsj48

Yea I'm so uncomfortable that they put Tiff through that and platformed an abuser to speak "their version" - as someone who's reputation was ruined in my hometown by my abuser.


Godforsaken-depths

Didn’t expect the Sam and Tiff friendship to be the thing I was most invested in after the show ended. Wish we had gotten to see more of their trial marriage and how they learned to communicate so well but clearly it’s a genuine connection given the reunion. Increasingly thinking that Tiff’s yelling at Sam early on (while definitely not okay) was learned behavior from two years of being in a relationship where every minor issue is a big fucking deal that could get Tiff yelled at for being the worst person ever. Feels like by being with Sam Tiff had that realization like “wait…. Conflict and disagreement doesn’t have to lead to pain?? It can actually help strengthen a relationship??”


casitadeflor

Now that you mention it I wonder if that’s why Tiff and Sam couldn’t be romantically connected. Tiff has been BOGGED DOWN in conflict = love, that’s how she even started the day Sam moved in. Then their trial marriage was peaceful it felt so strange and new that she couldn’t wrap her mind around love being that way.


Godforsaken-depths

Yeah, she had to be walking on eggshells constantly with Mildred. Then she’s with Sam who has near saint levels of patience and I wonder if there was a ticking time bomb at the back of Tiff’s mind like “okay but she’s going to get angry at some point and then there will be yelling and I’ll hear everything she hates about me.” Hahhhh okay this actually made me go to that episode where Sam and Tiff have their big fight and it’s so striking looking back now that we know what we know about each of their relationships. Tiff is the one who kind of starts the fight and their demeanor there wasn’t cool. But looking back it’s like… they’ve been sleeping on the couch to give Sam space from sleeping with a dog on their shared bed. It’s not an ideal situation, and every night Tiff goes to bed thinking about how she’s essentially choosing the dog over Sam (an actually very normal thing to do when you’re thrown together to live with a stranger and Sam understood that.) But - based on how Mildred starts fights with both of her partners - it’s the kind of thing that would have Mildred holding on to the resentment and holding on to the resentment until she finally brings it up in a calm voice initially. But the longer the conversation goes the more she’s raising her voice and speaking over you and saying hurtful things. When you’re caught up in that dynamic with someone it’s so easy to fall into a pattern of choosing to start the fight - like Tiff did with Sam - just to get it over with. Meanwhile Sam is also out of practice with going through arguments start to finish because Aussie keeps running out, so it’s not a surprise that the argument baffles her to the point of tears and she also starts raising her own voice … which of course brings to mind Mildred on Tiff’s side of things. Gah… no wonder “I keep sleeping on the couch because of the dog and I don’t know what you feel about it” spiraled so out of control. I don’t think it was just “would you be able to love my dog” it’s also “are you secretly angry at me even if you’re all bright and chipper this morning?” Of course then we get their next scene where they’re hashing it out after cooling off. And they both seem mutually baffled that you can just DO this… get angry at one another and later clear the air and find a way forward that isn’t a breakup or a shutdown. In retrospect I would have loved so many more scenes with their trial marriage.


enby_them

Mildred “you were on a dating app” Tiff “weren’t we broken up?” Mildred “well, I didn’t have all my stuff out the house yet” 😂 Mildred sounding more full of shit than Yoly right now.


chicagoturkergirl

Vanessa smirking when Mal called Yoly out was kinda funny, not gonna lie.


jennascofield

Is it just me or is Rae actively trying not to look at Vanessa trough the whole reunion? Seems like Lexi is still bent on the whole thing


ElkLopsided9803

She was probably trying not to set off Lexi. I recall Lexi being crazy jealous at Rae hugging Vanessa after the 3week original couples reunion, when Rae and V saw each other again. Rae and Lexi fought about it after with L saying “can’t you just not look at her, you didn’t have my back, I don’t want you talking to her” etc. something like that anyway


LSATpenguin

How did Yoly fumble 2 people who were so ready to marry her?


DucaleEfston

Fuck me that shit was wild. We broke up. And I got arrested. NBD. I can't believe Mildred managed to make it through the entire episode without saying "because I'm Latina"


sideeyethehousedown

Now I see Mildred & Aussie’s fight where Aussie says “I feel like you say shit on camera to make me look bad mate” in a completely different light. Yes Aussie is avoidant AF but Mildred’s MO the whole time was flaming people with wild accusations & bizarre details.


EntrepreneurMany3709

Yeah I thought that accusation seemed odd too but I reckon there's probably a lot we didn't see there to make Mildred look less unhinged


Paul_newoman

To me it seemed like part of the reason Aussie struggled so much with Sam's newfound voice is because Aussie just spent like...two fucking weeks with Mildred. Again, to me, it felt like Aussie didn't have enough time to make sense of whatever their experience together had been before having to confront a newfound (and positive!) assertiveness in Aussie's own long-term partner. It all just seemed very (unintentionally) triggering...but I'm actively trying to heal my own CPTSD, so it's gonna color my perception. I wonder what we could have seen from Aussie if Aussie had had a different "experiment" mate. Same could be said of everyone, but still.


CustomerSea8606

Just started but yoly already has an attitude the way she’s sitting her body language the way she’s looking at vanessa and everything is just so off putting about her already… 15 minutes in I liked Yoly and Xander together but episode 9 i started to dislike yoly bc she was unfair to both xander and mal… and lowkey acted selfishly. and now her attitude is starting to irk me.


jambalayabb

She was high key selfish. You don’t say ily and be touching all over someone else when you JUST accepted someone’s proposal. MAD disrespectful to all parties.


Bornwondering

AND SHE TOOK OFF THE FUCKING RING? Like honestly. Yoly will never EVER meet someone as tolerating and loving as Mal and one day she is going to realize that for sure.


24wrui

>yoly already has an attitude the way she’s sitting her body language the way she’s looking at vanessa and everything is just so off putting about her already… 15 minutes in > >I liked Yoly and Xander together but episode 9 i started to dislike yoly bc she was unfair to both xander and mal… Same! I felt so bad for both Mal & Xander! They deserved better!


supage

Yay for Mal


vodkatiti

mildred is so delusional i literally can’t believe what just happened??


msb0102

She was truly awful. I had a feeling they did not make it at all and this was just sad and toxic. I’m so glad tiff didn’t come back.


enby_them

“I did not realize we held hands as long we did” Say what?? Is that what you think the problem was? 😂


OriginalBrilliant225

Why did the host look scared when she said fingergate 🤣🤣🤣


thesaurusgist

LMFAOO everybody else cringed as well… which one of the writers thought it would be a good idea to write that


AssistUsed

She's surprisingly nice for a Netflix host. They knew what they were doing when they picked her lol


portray

Yea they must have heard all the complaints about the Lacheys and chose a neutral host who doesn’t try to steal the spotlight. I like this one


Deviantdionysus420

Sam and Tiff are wonderful, kind people, and I wish only the best for them. I hope Aussie gets the help Aussie desperately needs. Their trauma breakdowns were brutal to watch in previous episodes, hope they find a good therapist and they are lucky to have the world's nicest partner in Sam. Not surprised all the rest of them broke up, lol. Pleased to see some growth from Vanessa, I think her villain title was undeserved. The real villians were apparently Mildred and Yoly all along, omfg especially Mildred! Domestic violence is completely unacceptable regardless of gender, I hope poor Tiff is in a safe space these days. That reunion was wild, I'm going to need 10 more seasons of queer love shows stat


cthoolhu

The way yoly was like “to Hawaii??? 🤔” then immediately like “ohhh ohhhh yes okay 😃”


nahivibes

I just got done with the Tiff & Mildred segment and I’m just wondering what happened with Shilo? Mildred hijacked that whole moment, talked 90% of the segment, yet kept telling Tiff they weren’t letting her speak. Wtf? I couldn’t even follow what she said. Mildred said she broke things off because she physically left their place first but then was pissed Tiff was on apps bringing people back to where she lives. But didn’t you leave so you don’t live there? That woman is seriously insufferable af and hasn’t reflected after the show at all. She’s actually gotten worse because she admitted to DV so nonchalantly and hasn’t changed from it. She was just sitting there berating the victim for calling her family to tell them when their dog was going through something serious. Like really, wtf did I just watch?


Booksb00ksbo0kz

Tiff loves that dog and understands that people who have been in their life would probably want to know if Shylo was in medical crisis. I’m annoyed they didn’t get to finish that.


chicagoturkergirl

Aussie looked uncomfortable the minute Tiff and Mildred started arguing. Sam going after Tiff was sweet. They clearly built a real friendship.


oatlyy

There’s so much to discuss but one moment that really bothered me was Mildred just casually saying she got home at 3 am and Tiff wasn’t there. Like she is genuinely so into her own story at this point that she didn’t realize that at 2:59 am, she wasn’t home either lol


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i hope mildred’s son is safe


foxheartedboy

That was incredibly hard to watch as a DV survivor and I am genuinely shocked nobody in the room pressed Mildred (that we saw). If anything it seemed like Yoly had her back? Like that legit made me nauseous.


whiteh0td0g

“happily broken up” 😀


henryrollinsismypup

just here to say MAL IS SO BEAUTIFUL IN THE REUNION SHOW! hot damn. and I'm a straight! lol. just gorgeous, tho--the outfit, the hair, everything. and Mal's personality is so beautiful, too!


LeftOfTheOptimist

while watching this, particularly the exchange between Mal and Yoly, Yoly reminded me of a girl i dated who imo acted similar. bleh. i'm glad they ended up breaking up because essentially they're not compatible. i was so fucking disappointed in Mal proposing and Yoly accepting in Episode 9, so to see where they are now, i'm like thank god. i also was not a fan of Yoly's after the first episode. her saying "i'm sorry you feel that way" to Mal is one of my personal red flags. it's not an apology, doesn't take any accountability, and is dismissive.


thatstheteagirl

Call Vanessa a pot stirrer all you want, and Yoly can play all mad, but Mal deserved all the facts. Xander and Vanessa for all their (mostly Vanessa) faults at least have honest communication. It’s not Vanessa’s fault that Xander tells the truth while yoly lies and hides things from Mal.


enby_them

I feel bad for Vanessa. This show ended up being such a horrible experience for her on every front. Lost her partner, and was attacked by everyone on the show non-stop.


WandersongWright

Mildred is even worse because she derailed a wholesome segment where they gave updates on the good dogs. 😤


girlinthetreetops

With Sam and Aussie being the only couple still together, is it because they both continued to grow? Or did Sam leave behind her newfound voice, putting her own needs to the side to give room to Aussies challenges? I see a lot of my own patterns in Sam, Im compassionate to a fault - to the point where I might be both enabling their bad patterns and compromising my own wellbeing. It is a good quality at times, but it's not always good for the long term - it just prevents pain in the moment, at the cost of hard truths. I hope she's still in touch with her needs and that they've grown together, but it's hard to tell!


MyFriendsMadeMeGetIt

I was very impressed with her calmly but firmly saying there was no reason for Mildred to put Tiff in blast. Don’t know if that carries into her own relationship but if she were timid she’d not have done that.


brgr77

Yoly and Mildred...... My fucking god. Vanessa was redeemed in my eyes which is crazy


Amberdawn85

I’m so mad that the producers let Mildred in the studio and go talk to Tiff like that. Tiff was abused and her abuser just got a stage to mentally abuse them more


big_red_160

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a realty show cast member get caught in as many lies as Yoly. She acted like she didn’t lie about her intentions at the party that night, got caught two seconds later in the conversation. At the party she got caught lying about the selfie. At the reunion she got caught again about Hawaii


flimmers

This was chaotic, but ultimately for the best. I am sad Tiff didn’t get to speak, I really would have liked to hear what they had to say. Love Sam for being a friend. This show has been so amazing, and I think each and everyone of the cast is beautiful, if I could I would thank them all for letting us be part of their journey. Some still have a way to go (looking at you latinas), but seeing Mal, Xander, Tiff and Sam being real and raw has been a true experience. Now I just hope the YouTuber who analyze LIB will do this show.


fcukstephanie

the host’s facial expressions throughout this entire reunion was literally me 😂 the whiplash all these people gave me


Ok-Worker3412

This is one of the best reunions I've watched in awhile.


thesaurusgist

Vanessa smiling and laughing when Mal and Yoly explained why they broke up was sooooo funny


[deleted]

The fact that Vanessa had the grace to stand up and take accountability and none of the cast had the grace to take accountability and apologize to her when it was sooo owed!! Yuck!!


KookyClerk1358

Yoly is such a game player. Also, she seems to think she's better than Vanessa. Come on, before she judges others, she should do some self-reflection first.


xelllllllll

Yoly is a liar, and when she gets caught she tries to rationalize it or act like she forgot. I’m surprised that everyone just kinda glossed over her inconsistencies even when they were pointed out.


KamenRiderDragon

I can't believe Netflix set up Vanessa as the villian and pulled a reverse with three others that look worse.


babytroll457

I know I’m gonna get downvoted for saying this, but people never got over it either because she had the earliest drama. On the spectrum of behavior seen, Vanessa’s “villain” stuff was mostly unremarkable. I thought her apology seemed sincere. I don’t know why everyone else is given grace to grow except for her.


rita_chabot_suce

I think I need to root for Vanessa's growth on this reunion. I think she realized she has toxic tendencies and I hope they can support each other and be friends now


shinyp20

Somehow I feel like Yoly has changed? I thought she was kind and lovely until the reunion episode... the way she talked and looked at others is kinda mean... am I the only one who feels that?


throwawayanaway

She showed that side all along on the show maybe it's just bc people didn't mind when she was doing that mostly to Vanessa


CustomerSea8606

i agree but i don’t think she changed, i think she was always like that but we were swept over by her chemistry with xander that we only saw the good side. and we never really saw big issues between yoly with mal on the show but obviously they’ve been having issues before and after the show


shinyp20

yeah that's so true! I thought I would see that sweet and bubbly girl but nah... she was rooting for Mildred when M admitted the DV, the question she asked Tiff & Mildred about $, she played dumb and not honest... just soooo off... but it seems like Mal and Xander are both completely over her


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CakeIceCream

Sam finally got to hug Tiff. What a sweetheart. Sam is an angel.


[deleted]

Mildred is gross. As a Latina who just cut off my entire family for their abusive behavior and their refusal to change or apologize “because we’re latinos” I just feel disgusted watching this


PrettyNiemand34

The Tiff and Mildred reunion stuff is crazy but also refreshing that they're so honest? I also liked how the host acted during that reunion.


HalcyonRye

I liked the host, too. She didn’t make anything about her, or her judgements, she was supportive, but at the same time, she asked just enough to let people throw their feelings and experiences out there, and she sat with it without rushing in and interpreting or trying to tamp it down (like a Rogerian therapist). You could argue that she maybe should have been more active in trying to rein in the conflict between Tiff and Mildred, but I don’t think there was ever any danger of something physical happening or anything — but it was rough on them, and rough to watch.


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jegjech

They be asking the whole time who’s gonna give them the first ultimatum baby😂😂


jambalayabb

I liked the host a lot more after the reunion too. She stayed neutral and asked questions, didn’t pick sides (cough cough Vanessa Lachey). Also her bewildered looks had me lmao 🤣.


vodkatiti

admittedly i skipped episode 9 for the reunion 🙇🏻‍♀️


starlessseasailor

Man. Aussie actually grew on me, especially seeing Mildred. Aussie clearly has things to work through, but honestly they seem like an incredibly sweet person at the core, and Sam being with Aussie sort of solidifies that for me. Sam has good judgement and stands up for herself. And seeing how Mildred was...woof. We probably saw Aussie's worst side because Aussie was with the worst possible person given Aussie's past. Aussie doesn't like confrontation; I wonder if doing this show is partly a way for their parents to find out without Aussie actually having to come out. Regardless, I hope that Aussie continues to grow, and that Sam does too. Also, Tiff. I've always loved Tiff, they're adorable and it hurts my heart that they went through the shit Mildred put them through. Hoping they find happiness.


drainotoday

Have to say, I did not like Vanessa at all for the duration of the show, but it seems like she understands what her issues were or are, and I could see her growing into a normal person with a healthy relationship. I was a lot worse person when I was younger, and I’m glad that wasn’t filmed lol.