Granted. They're spoiled


Granted. They come out over cooked and extremely hot. Every time you pull a tater tot from your pocket, you get severe 1st degree burns.


Granted. They all get mauled by Ligers.


*Monkey's paw curls* You check your left pocket, and lo and behold, it is filled with tater tots. But something is off. The middles of the tater tots are still slightly frozen, the outside is soggy and oil logged, and the oil they were fried in is old, burnt, and was used to fry fish. The partially frozen, soggy, fish oily, and burnt flavored tater tots are disgusting to eat to even the heartiest tater tot connoisseur, including you. Each time you reach in your pocket, you hope they will be better, but your immeasurable disappointment comes back. Every. Single. Time.




Granted. It isn't long before unlimited rats and roaches start pouring from your left pocket.


Granted! The finger curls. A strange new fungus grows on your leg, and you realize that it looks kind of like.. tater tots! and they taste like tater tots! and feel like tater tots! and have the nutrition facts of tater tots! and they grow REALLY FAST! You now have tater tots! Unfortunately, another symptom of this fungus, aside from the FREE TATER TOOOTSSSSS is necrotizing of the tongue, and esophagus. You have to have extreme surgery, and can no longer speak, or eat food. You must have it injected via IV drip a few days a week. but hey, tater tot party trick! enjoy!